Lyra, The Sandwich!

by mikerockks

First published

SANVICH LYRA

Lyra, the awesomely amazing sandwich, stays awesome in this story!

Lyra, The Sandwich! Chapter 1

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She did not know where she was going. Well, wherever she was going, it was taking a long time to get there. She, and Bon-Bon, both had no idea where they were going. All they knew was they were both sandwiches, mistaken as ponies from a TV show, and they had to think fast about thier fate. They didn't remember anything about the following day, because they were born today after all. Yesterday they were seperated parts, all jumbled up in a fridge. They saw something strange, which was a plaid carpet, with a girl there, who could look like Bon-Bon as a human. The two sandwiches turned around, and they saw a loverboy, who tended to be a yes man at times, but they knew by his eyes something was up. He had a shirt, which said "BRONY" in bold print, the girl a shirt with "PEGASISTER". Both sandwiches didn't know what these words even ment, but they still wondered why a grown man was wearing a shirt with a rainbow maned horse on it, with something on it's ass. Then they realized something. It wasn't just any horse. It was a My Little Pony. That's when they remembered what brony ment.That's also when they remembered why the plaid carpet was lying there. They were gonna die.

Quickly, they planned their escape. It was a mission of fate and decision. They might have to end their own life just to not get eaten. But it was too late. The plates were already set up, and they were placed down on them, Lyra and Bon-bon being seperated from each-other. They decided what to do. "WAIT!" Lyra shouted. "You can't eat us. WE CAN TALK. AND WE ARE SANDWICHES! QUICKLY! RUN BON-BON!" And with that, they left town, naming themselves "The Sandwich Duo". They wondered what they would do next. To cause more mischef. IN EQUESTRIA.

Lyra, The Sandwich! Chapter 2

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Once The Sandwich Duo reached Equestria, they had a lot of work to do. After all, it took weeks to get there. It was a hell of a ride, as they told inside jokes to one another simotaneously. The first pony they planned on meeting was Twilight Sparkle, because they wanted to know how to get around in areas like this, and as everypony knows, Twilight is the smartest mare in Ponyville. She could tell them anything. Once they got to the cottage, they banged at their door, cause they didn't have fists to knock. When Spike came out, he looked happy, then somewhat dissapointed. "Aw, no gems. Maybe Twilight would like you. She's so hungry, she can eat a hors- I mean, not that we're cannibals or anyth- why am I talking to sandwiches?" "Because we can talk back!" Lyra happily announced. "HOLY CRAP, YOU CAN TALK! TALKING SANDWICHES, ALRIGHT!"

When Spike, Lyra, And Bon-Bon reached Twilight, she looked like how she looked in Lesson Zero, just with drool coming out of the hungry mares mouth. "YES! SANDWICHES! I CAN FINALLY EAT!" Worried, Lyra said "Don't eat us Twilight! We are alive!" And with that, the magic mare froze. "You. Can. TALK? THISISNOTSCIENTIFICLYPOSSIBLEHOWISTHISMYMIN-" "Please shut up for a second please." "Oh, ok. What do you want?" And with that, Bon-Bon said, "We were looking on how to get around in places like this." "Well, first of all, you gotta be a pony. Second, YOU CANT- i mean, you can't be talking sandwiches." Twilight used her magic to transform them into the ponies they were based on. "Now go out there and make some friends!" "ALRIGHT!" And with that, the two ponies who were once sandwiches set off into town to make some friends. To sart a new journey. FOR SCIENCE!

Lyra, The Sandwich! Chapter 3

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The first pony they met was Fluttershy. She was very shy. (Well, thats wat you'd expect form a pony with the word shy in her name!) Lyra was first to speak. "Hello, whats your name?" "Im-- flttrshi" "...... NEVERMIND! I'm Lyra. I take it by what I heard, you're Fluttershy?" "meep" Cutting in, Bon-bon said, "OK LETS GET GOING!" Then, they met Rainbow Dash, just sleeping on a cloud. "Um, hello? My name is Lyra, What's yours?" "Skip the names, i'm too tired to answer." "Your name is Rainbow Dash." "How'd you know?" "I have the FiM Wiki page about you on my iHoof right now." "oh." ALRIGHTNEXTPONY. Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Derpy, they've met so many ponies today! Exept for one. Doctor Whooves. Once they realized that, they ran as fast as they could to meet him and to complete their journey.

Their journey just felt incomplete without him. Could they be in love with him? Could this end up badly? Could this be a bad romance? Could this determine their destiny? Love? Romance? Fate? Cheeseburger? They knew that last one made no sense, but it seemed fitting. So off they went, hoping to find Doctor Whooves and his TARDIS at the only place they knew he was. Pony-Con.

Lyra, The Sandwich! Chapter 4

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And, so, they went to Pony-Con, where everypony there was cosplaying as thier favorite Ponime characters. It seems they looked all over the place with still no sign of the doctor! So they waited and waited for him to come, for both girls to show their true feelings to him. To possibly kiss him, but they doubted they'd do that. After all, who wouldn't be shy aroud the doctor? He gets all the mares.

Finally, he came. That's when the fighting began. "ISAWHIMFIR-NOISAWHI-ISA-N-ASDF-QWERTY" is all that could've been heard. "Uh, I better get going" says the doctor in confusion of what the hell was going on. All the ponies ran out to try to find him. All the ponies exept Lyra and Bon-Bon. They were still fighting, not noticing he left. When they finally stopped, they were confused. "Where is everypony? Hello? Anyone want a free cheeseburger? Well, I give up, if that doesn't work, nothing will."

The two ponies left, feeling like giving up, and turning back into their previous sandwich form. But then they realized. They should become STALKERS! Yes you heard me right. STALKERS!!!!!!!!

Lyra, The Sandwich! Chapter 5

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STALKING: DAY 1: The coast seems clear, not a pony in sight. The two ponies look through Dr. Whooves's house hidden inside a cactus. It hurt, but there were Skittles in there, so they were ok with that.

STALKING: DAY 2: Dr. Whooves has just noticed them, spying on him in the shower. He has called 911. The cops tazed both ponies.

STALKING: DAY 3: They snuck out of the jail cell using their spoons. They are back in buisness.

STALKING: DAY 4: They gave up, they didnt want to risk being put in jail again.

"We will never get to date him! Even if we do, he will soon find out we were originally sandwiches, and call the police again!" "I have an idea," Bon-Bon said, "Lets just not date him!" "That's a great idea!" said Lyra, "Let's just lose all thoughts about that weirdo!" Dr. Whooves moved on to being forever alone. But that doesn't matter, cause the Formerly Sandwiches Duo needed to complete a journey!

Lyra, The Sandwich! Chapter 6 (Last Chapter!)

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The two ponies got back to their adventure, searching for somepony else to be friends with. For alas, it was Princess Celestia! How can they be so stupid! Who wouldn't want to be friends with royalty? So they ran right up to the princess in glee, until they figured out it was a cardboard cutout! Yes, they just got trolled by Celestia. So they ran straight to the real Celestia, and screamed a bunch of bad words to her. Now they are just two ponies who were once sandwiches, who were tempted by bananas, leading them to the moon. Luna was happy about it. (I think.)
THE END

Writers Note

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Thank you all so much for reading this. My current project, a Chrysalis fanfic, is much more serious than this trollfic.

So far, this fic was featured on:
BronyFanFic
mikerockks01