That's Not Nice
The warmth of the sun rests on your face, making you groan and open your eyes. You sit up and stretch out your arms to start a new day full of dumb equestrian bullshit. After stretching, you slide off the bed and walk to your bathroom to relieve yourself.
You use the toilet and then head into the shower. Once your morning routine is complete, you head out to get dressed. As you're pulling a shirt over your face, you hear a knock on the door downstairs. Turning your head, you look at the clock to see it says 7:30.
“She's right on time.”
Cherry Berry, also known as your angry friend with a bit of an obsession, always comes by around this time.
You sigh a bit as you finish dressing yourself.
“Wonder what she's going to try to pull today...”
You walk out of the room and head down the stairs. Knocks slam against the door once again and you shake your head.
“Yeah yeah, I'm coming!”
Quickly go over to the door and open it before she bashes it down knocking so hard. Just as you thought, Cherry Berry stands there. She has an angry look in her eye as she stares up at you.
"You should just admit your love for me already."
"I'm not going to do that, Cherry."
Her lip quivers and her eyes begin watering.
"Why don't you love me Anon? I do everything for you, even come bring you my company every day!”
She looks back at her rump. “Is it my figure? Am I too fat for you?”
You shake your head and try to explain, “No, that's not why-”
She interrupts you, screaming, “I DON'T EVEN EAT THAT MUCH!"
Her loudness is attracting the attention of the quiet yellow mare that lives down the street in the cottage. You quickly pull Cherry inside and shut the door to rid yourself of an awkward conversation from Fluttershy later on.
Cherry looks a bit flustered as you hold her close to you. Realizing that you're still holding her, you quickly let go and start talking.
"Look, want to know why I don't like you like that?"
She stomps her hoof down and shouts, "Yes!"
"You're always angry."
She blinks a few times and then furrows her brow, “Am not!”
"...See?"
She stops and sits down, her tone changing dramatically.
"But I'm not always angry..."
"You seem that way."
She looks up, confused as to why you said that. "Why?"
"Body language mostly. Usually when talking to a friend you smile, not frown."
"Why should I smile? Nothing was funny."
You bring your hand up to your forehead and groan a little.
Pulling your hand away, you look down at the angry pink mare, "Okay, I have an idea."
"What?"
"You go through a regular day and I'll tag along to tell you if you're acting angry. Maybe we can fix this."
Cherry's face lights up with happiness, "Really? You'd do that for me?!"
You shrug a little. “Yeah, I guess.”
She jumps up and wraps her hooves around your neck hard. “Thanks!”
"Yeah, yeah whatever. Now let's go."
You pull her off your neck and set her down. She heads out of the house and you follow her, closing the door behind yourself.
"Alright, the first thing I do is go visit my friends."
A little curious, you ask her, "How many friends do you have?"
"Like 5."
Wonder why.
"Okay, let's go visit the friends then."
She nods and you follow her all the way into town to the small greenhouse building. You've always wondered who lives here. She knocks on the door and you stand next to her.
When it opens, Roseluck is there smiling, "Hi, Cherry! Hello, Anonymous?"
"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just helping out today."
She turns her head back to Cherry, “Oh okay. Cherry, how are you?"
Cherry is not smiling, so you cough to get her attention. She looks over at you, and you form a smile. She nods her head and puts on a slightly faked smile.
"Hey Rose! I'm doing just fine."
They both smile at each other for a few seconds.
You nudge Cherry. "You aren't going to ask her how she is?"
She looks up at you and answers honestly. "I don't care."
Rose looks hurt and runs back inside, slamming the door behind her. These ponies are way too emotional. You knock on the door again and shuffling around is heard before it opens again. Rose's eyes are watery and pinkish as she looks at you.
"Look, I'm trying to help Cherry be more of a nice pony. I'm sorry if we offended you, Rose."
Rose smiles and nods. She then closes the door and you both turn around.
"Cherry, what the fuck was that? Do you not understand basic communication?"
"I understand communication, I just didn't care about how she was."
You groan as you grip the bridge of your nose.
"Cherry, most people really don't care about how each other are, it's just a nice thing to say."
"Ohhh... DAMN IT!"
Three fillies a few feet away freeze in place once hearing this new word.
You yell to them, "Hey! Don't repeat that!"
They quickly rush away and you glare back at Cherry.
"Really? Swearing is not a nice thing to do Cherry. It's better if you'd say those things when you're not out in public."
"Why not Anon? Didn't you do it earlier?"
“The difference between when I did it and when you did is that I didn't scream it.”
“Oh...”
"Swearing a lot also makes you seem like a mean pony."
She nods as if she's making a mental note of this.
“Okay, next friend!”
She leads you to the next house, another building with a greenhouse in the back. This greenhouse is smaller than the other one. She knocks on the door and you stand to the side to observe.
The door opens to reveal Lily. She smiles at Cherry and Cherry quickly glaces at you to know if she's supposed to smile.
You quickly nod and she smiles at Lily.
Lily starts the greeting, "Hi Cherry! How are you doing today?"
"Hey Lily! I'm doing pretty good. How about you?"
She's learning. This is good.
"I've been better actually. You see, my hooves are really sore from potting plants all day yesterday."
Cherry just stares at her, not saying anything.
"Cherry."
She looks over at you. Lily just notices you as well and smiles at you.
"Hey Anon! I didn't see you there. Whatcha doing?"
"I'm trying to help Cherry be less mean and angry."
Lily's smile widens. "That's so nice of you! Aww..."
You raise an eyebrow to her reaction."Why aww?"
"I wish I had a coltfriend who was nice enough to help me like that..."
"Wait, she's not my-"
A high pitched screech from inside Lily's house interrupts you. Lily smiles at the both of you.
"Tea time! You want some?"
Cherry looks at you and then back to Lily, "I'm sorry, we just don't have time."
Lily looks a little saddened, but hides it, "Oh, well, that's alright. Goodbye then!"
Cherry says nothing, so you speak for both of you, "Bye!"
Cherry turns to leave the house as Lily closes the door. You catch up with Cherry a good distance away from the house and you stop her.
"Cherry, when someone complains about something, you're supposed to say that you feel bad for them."
"But I didn't feel bad for her. I was glad it wasn't me."
Fucking damn it...
"It's the nice thing to do."
She trots a little bit over to the bench and slams her bottom down hard on it.
She hangs her head as you follow her over there, "I never thought this would be so difficult.”
Looking up at you, she asks, “How do you do it so well?"
"It's the way we're raised I guess. You probably didn't grow up with too much of that, did you?"
"Not really."
There is a long and uneasy silence after this. You cough to break it and draw her attention.
"Cherry.”
She looks up at you.
“...don't forget to say goodbye."
She nods.
To prevent the awkward silence from taking over again, you ask, "So where to now?"
"Minuette's house."
She hops off the bench and you follow her lead. You approach a regular looking house and she knocks on the door. It opens and Minuette is there looking tired, but still forcing a smile.
"Hello, Anon and Cherry."
"Don't mind me, just here to help Cherry."
She nods and then continues, "How are you Cherry?"
"Hey Minuette. I'm okay. What about you? You look troubled."
Minuette sighs, "Just... Taking care of twin foals on your own can be rough, ya know?"
Cherry gulps and looks to you. You nod and give her the okay.
She looks back to Minuette. "Uh... I feel bad for you?"
Minuette looks a tad bit confused why she said that like a question, but before she can speak, loud screams are heard from inside.
Minuette cuts the conversation short, "I have to go. Bye you two!"
You wave. "Bye!"
Cherry remembers what you said last time and shouts, "Goodbye!"
Minuette closes the door and the two of you walk a little bit away from the house.
Cherry stops you, looking excited. "Did I do it right?"
"Yes, you did do it right Cherry. Now next time you don't have to look at me to confirm everything you do."
"...was I really doing that?"
You nod.
"Oh. Well let's go to the next one then!"
She proudly trots some direction and you follow behind her. She stops at a very normal looking house that you've passed multiple times before. Guess you're about to find out who lives here.
She knocks on the door and Bon Bon swings it open almost immediately. Lyra stands submissively behind her.
Cherry is fired up as she starts the conversing, "Hello girls! How are you?"
Bon Bon has a pissy attitude, "Well I would be a little bit better if somepony would do the dishes and clean up after herself."
Lyra shoots a glare to her. "I do clean up after myself! You're just mad because I orgasmed first, aren't you?!"
Oh dear.
Bon Bon gasps, turns to Lyra, and pushes her.
"You bitch!"
Cherry has no clue what to do in this situation.
Alright, time to work your gentlemanly charm.
"Ladies, ladies please. Relax yourselves. What seems to be the problem here?"
They quickly turn away from each other.
Lyra speaks first, "She's angry because of this morning."
"What happened this morning, Bon Bon?"
"Well first off, I'm not mad about this morning. Second, what happened this morning was none of your business and you should just fuck off."
Fucking cunt.
No no, you can't call her that. Keep your cool Anon, you're trying to set an example for Cherry, remember?
Bon Bon continues, "Why are you even here? You're not my friend."
Lyra snaps at her tan lover, "He's my friend!"
Bon Bon throws her hooves out at you. "But he's just a big monkey! How can you be friends with a big monkey-OH I SEE NOW! YOU WANT HIS FILTHY HANDS INSTEAD OF MY TONGUE, DON'T YOU?!"
Lyra quickly looks at you with a face full of blush, waving her hooves and shaking her head as she yells, "N-No it's not l-like that at all Anon!"
What the fuck is even happening right now?
Bon Bon obtains direct control."Whatever. Lyra, get back inside. I'll talk to you when I'm done with monkey man here."
Lyra nods and walks submissively back inside, closing the door behind herself.
Bon Bon gives you disgusted look, "So monkey, why do you got the hots for my Lyra?"
Shocked that she would assume this, you respond with, "What? I don't even like her!"
"Yeah, sure. Aren't you dating Cherry?"
You shake your head hard, "No! I'm not dating anyone!"
Cherry looks hurt, “Well you don't have to say it that forcefully...”
You glare at her. “Like you're any better at not being blunt.”
She backs down from the argument.
Bon Bon continues, "So you aren't dating anyone, but you fool around with Cherry and Lyra? You're a player then?!"
Holy fucking shit...
Before you can say anything, Cherry steps forward.
"Hey Cherry, here to take your monkey out of here?"
Uh oh.
Cherry gets in Bon Bon's face, "Listen here, bitch. Nopony talks like that to my man."
Well, this just got out of hand.
Bon Bon looks shocked that Cherry just said that. "What the fuck did you just call me?"
Without any warning, Cherry jumps up and cracks her across the head.
Instant knock out.
"Fuck, Cherry! Why did you do that?!"
"She was being mean to you, so I wanted to be nice to you by being mean to her. Does that mean I'm still being nice?"
You throw your hands up and walk away from the house, leaving Bon Bon unconsious at her doorstep.
"Fuck this, I give up."
Cherry follows you down the path, pleading with you, "B-But why?"
"It's impossible to teach you to not be so angry and mean."
She hangs her head. "But I thought... I thought that you were going to love me when I got nice... Does that mean..."
Tears start forming in her eyes.
"You'll never love me?!"
She is on the verge of sobbing.
“You're just so fucking stubborn, Cherry!”
She points up to the house, “I'm not stubborn, this was just a different scenario! If I'm too nice in situations like that, then I'll end up like that yellow pushover down the street from you!”
She comes close to you and rubs up against your leg.
“Please... I want to change for you. Please don't stop now.”
You look down at her as she stares down at your feet, leaning her weight into your legs.
"...fine."
She looks up at you with something she's never had before on her face.
A huge smile.
She asks, "Really?!"
You put your hand on her head and run your fingers through her mane. "Yes, just control yourself. Remember to breathe."
She and closes her eyes as you pet her. You stop and she looks up at you.
"So, what do you do now?"
She moves away from being so close to your body. "Oh yeah, I go to work pulling trash carts through the alleys and emptying the dumpsters."
You ask, "Where does it go?"
"To the trash yard."
She walks you down a few blocks to a shed just outside of the trash yard. Inside are two large carts that don't exactly have the best smell in the world.
Cherry fastens herself into the cart to the right, then frowns as she looks at the other one. "The other one is for Bon Bon. But um..."
You nod and walk over, "Yeah. Don't worry, I got it."
As you attach it to your waist, Cherry tilts her head in confusion.
"What is it now?"
She asks, "Why are you doing this?"
You answer her as you finish attaching the cart to your waist. "Because offering someone help is a nice thing to do."
She nods and starts to walk forward. “Just follow me, I'll show you the route.”
You nod to her and follow behind her.
It's been about three hours of walking around, and the job is actually way easier than you thought it would be. Thankfully, the dumpsters only were filled with light things like toys or food. After you've cleaned out most of the town and have a fairly large pile of gross behind you, you start heading back to the trash yard.
You find yourself walking a bit faster than Cherry, so you're a tad bit ahead of her.
"Oh um, excuse me."
You turn to see a griffon standing in front of Cherry. She doesn't look like she wants to move.
Cherry asks again, "Excuse me, I need to get through."
You walk ahead a little so that Cherry can move around the griffon, but the griffon steps in front of her again when she tries.
This might not be good.
Cherry starts to look angry, but then stops and takes a deep breath.
She sticks out a hoof, "Well um... Hello, I'm Cherry! It's nice to meet you!"
This is good, she's trying everything you've taught her.
The griffon just stares at her. You undo yourself from the cart and watch with caution.
Cherry retracts her hoof and follows the griffon's eyes to the trash behind her. "What, do you see something you like in the cart? Here I'll turn to the side so you can see more."
She turns the entire cart sideways and smiles at the griffon. Suddenly the griffon kicks it over and it spills on the ground. She begins laughing as Cherry scrambles to put the trash back in.
"You goody four hooves! Hahaha! Such a dweeb."
Cherry's face scrunches and she looks at you.
You mouth the words, "It's okay, you can be mean."
Cherry nods and continues putting trash back in the cart.
Wait, what?
"Cherry what are you doing?"
The griffon flies up and lands in front of you, standing tall.
"What are YOU doing here, monkey? Shouldn't you be in the forest? Or with that weird mare with the animals?"
You see Cherry just putting the cart back the right way.
Oh no.
This is not the time for her be nice.
The griffon forces herself into your vision by craning her neck so that your face and her own are mere centimeters away from each other. "I SAID, what are you doing here?"
You back up a little. "I live here, in Ponyville. And I'm not a monkey, I'm a human."
"Hooman? That's the dumbest name for something I've ever heard!"
She flies up a little and starts to laugh at you.
“What in the heck is a hooman?! Hahahaha!”
Your fists ball and you see Cherry approaching from behind with a small smile on her face.
She asks, "Excuse me, Miss Griffon?"
The griffon stops laughing and flies over so that she's just above Cherry. "It's Gilda, bitch."
Cherry's eye twitches and she stops smiling. Her tone changes dramatically, dropping down to a grumble. "What did you just call me?"
Gilda, obviously having fun with this, repeats herself, "A bitch, ya dumb bitch!"
Cherry's gaze shifts from you to Gilda and she furrows her brow.
"Call me a bitch... one more time."
"Bit-"
Quick as explosive diarrhea after taco night, she uppercuts Gilda, cutting her off. The griffon falls on her back, but gets up and wipes some blood from her face.
"Fine then, let's go bitch!"
You rush over and jump up, bringing down your elbow on her back. She slams against the ground and Cherry bucks her in the face.
Instant knockout.
Cherry smiles at you and you smile back at her.
You put your hands on your hips and stare down at the unconscious creature. "We fucked her up!"
Cherry shouts as well, "Damn straight we did!"
You and Cherry bump hoof and hand and share a few laughs. Cherry then sighs as she looks at the pile of trash next to her cart.
“Great, now we have to clean this up.”
You smirk. “Maybe not...”
Cherry looks at you, confused as to what you're implying.
...
The two of you walk away with your carts a little lighter as a certain half lion half eagle wakes up in a pile of rotten food and broken cups. You hear a loud scream from way on the other side of town as you pull into the trash yard, making both of you look at each other and smirk.
As you empty your carts into the trash yard and put them back, you notice that the sun is starting to set. You turn and start to walk with Cherry back to the rest of town.
Cherry asks as the two of you walk together, "Well Anon... Do you think I'm not so angry now?"
You shake your head. "Nah. You're still angry."
Cherry stutters while her voice starts to crack, "B-B-But-"
You interrupt her with a hand on her head. "Maybe it's me that should learn to accept you that way though."
She tilts her head a little in confusion as she looks up at you. "But I thought you didn't like me like this?"
"While it might be a bit annoying, I do admit that it adds a little spice into my life."
Her eyes brighten and she jumps onto your chest, wrapping her hooves around your neck once again.
"Yes!”
You smile a little and hug the pony back.
She then leans in a little and whispers to you, “Does this mean you'll love me now?”
“Maybe someday Cherry."
You watch the sun slink under the horizon as you pet the pony who hugs your neck.
“Maybe someday.”