Tetris is a first-year student at Canterlot University. Tetris is an earth pony from Belmont Stakes who plans to study Magic at Canterlot University. Despite not being a unicorn, Tetris desires to know all there is about magic.
This story is about Tetris' college life.
This is also somewhat of an alternate universe story.
Twilight Sparkle, another character, is also a freshman at Canterlot University after graduating from Celestia's School of Gifted Unicorns.
Tetris looked out the window. He watched as a seemingly endless row of trees filled his line of vision. Tetris was beginning a new chapter of his life today: college. Tetris was on the express train from Belmont Stakes to Canterlot. Canterlot. It was the city where the royalty resided and was filled with history. Canterlot had always interested the young stallion. Belmont Stakes was a suburb of Manehattan for those who wanted to avoid living in the hustle and bustle of city life. Canterlot and its culture was very different than that of Manehattan or Belmont Stakes. Canterlot was more old-fashioned. It was a city which actually believed in the stories of Nightmare Moon and ghost ponies. Belmont Stakes was more civilized in that respect. However, Tetris could appreciate Canterlot’s devotion and focus on the magic which resided inside ponies – but particularly unicorn magic.
Tetris was attending Canterlot University – the university which had Equestria’s most prestigious magic school. Tetris would have not gone to Canterlot if it wasn’t for its magic school. Schools such as Barnvard and Stableford were actually tougher-to-get-into schools. Both of those schools were closer to Belmont Stakes which his mother would have loved. However, Tetris wanted to study magic. He wanted to know all there was about magic. Tetris was accepted at every college he applied to. He wanted this. He wanted Canterlot. There was something Tetris wanted to prove.
“Are you going to keep zoning off in space like that?”
Tetris was somewhat startled by the noise and turned around. It was only his best friend Bon-Bon.
“Oh um”, said Tetris, “I was just thinking.”
“Are you starting to regret going to Canterlot?”
Bon-Bon could be awfully blunt.
“Nope, certainly not”, responded Tetris with a grin, “this is exactly what I want.”
“If I didn’t get to go to this hoity-toity institution for free, I wouldn’t be here.”
“Super smart Bon-Bon”, said Tetris cheekily. “Hey”, said Bon-Bon, “I was rejected by Barnvard, but what the hell were you doing taking a magic entrance exam anyway?”
Tetris was certain he didn’t tell Bon-Bon about that. She knew about his obsession with magic but it was basically a given that a magic major was either a unicorn or at least had some unicorn family members: for instance, a pegasus with a unicorn father might want to study magic even though she actually couldn’t perform magic of her own. Tetris was neither a unicorn nor had immediate family members who were unicorns. “Why would I do that? I can’t perform magic spells, so what’s the point?” “I got the proof”, said Bon-Bon with a hearty laugh, “see this newspaper I’m holding. On page 26, you are listed as one of three perfect scorers on the MEE.”
“Maybe I’m destined to be Equestria’s most powerful magician.”
“You’re the one that is super smart. You must be the first earth pony to be a perfect scorer on that exam.”
“You would have done it too if you bothered.”
“I’m comfortable in my own skin, unlike somepony I know. On the other hoof, you’re probably the first earth pony to ever take that exam.”
“Who were the other two perfect scorers by the way?”
“Meh, two bitches from Canterlot. You’re in good company. I bet that’s why you want to study magic. Sleep with unicorn mares? I’m telling you though. Canterlot is a whole different animal than Belmont. It’s only been recently that this goddamn university even allowed earth ponies and pegasi to attend.”
“The past is the past”, responded Tetris nonchalantly, “what do you care? Canterlot is letting you go for free.”
“Yea, that’s true. The admissions committee decided that they really wanted an earth pony who lived in a single-parent household, I guess. They probably did a search on your father and realized he was the CFO of some big-ass software company.”
Tetris didn’t like being reminded that he came from a wealthy family, he wanted to think that he got to where he was all on his own. But he would tolerate it from Bon-Bon, she was Bon-Bon and nothing was going to change that.
“You could have just become a comp sci major and joined your father’s company“, continued Bon-Bon, “you’re like a whiz at that shit.” “I suppose that magic is a challenge I want to partake.”
“In all seriousness”, said Bon-Bon, “I hope you achieve your dream. I am rooting for you – even though it is fucking insane.”
“Well”, responded Tetris with a shrug, “the magic school did accept me. I don’t need to be a unicorn to learn about magic.”
“I’ll be making money and you’ll be doing puppet shows”, said Bon-Bon, “I’m going to start my own bakery and you’re going to get fat from all the treats I make.”
“I sure would”, said Tetris with a smile, “after all, you do have a candy for a cutie mark.”
“I don’t see a unicorn horn or magic-y things on your flank”, said Bon-Bon, “but I know you’ve never been about following your cutie mark.”
Tetris could barely make sense of his cutie mark. It was a red block shaped like an L. The only logical answer he could come up with was that he was good at building things. It was a weird shape though.
“Did you figure out what my cutie mark even means yet?”
“I don’t know”, said Bon-Bon with a smirk, “I’m still trying to figure out where your parents thought of your name.”
“My mom said it came to her in a dream which involved building a house. I guess I’m supposed to be a carpenter. What the hell am I doing in college?”
“You’re a nerd who remembers everything”, responded Bon-Bon, “I think that’s why you’re in college. It’s going to be funny seeing you teach unicorns how to conjure up magic spells.”
“It’s a biological process which can perfectly be explained. It involves faetons which travel around your body – all ponies have it but unicorns are able to channel those faetons to their horns and then it works. The faetons travel…”
“I don’t need a lesson, Professor”, interrupted Bon-Bon.
“Good. I wouldn’t want you as my student anyway.”
“Ugh”, groaned Bon-Bon, “are we almost at Canterlot? It’s too far away.”
Tetris glanced out the window and could see that they zoomed past a sign that said “Ponyville”.
“Almost there actually”, responded Tetris, “we just passed Ponyville.”
“Thank Celestia”, said Bon-Bon, “I can’t stand all of this talk about faetons anymore. Oh my.. there’s a picture in the newspaper of those two unicorn bitches and they look like the biggest dorks of any pony. More dorky than you.”
“Let me see the picture.”
Bon-Bon hoofed the newspaper over to Tetris.
The picture Bon-Bon was talking about was taken at “Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns”. Of course. Any pony smart enough to do so well on the MEE was also worthy of that school – well at least unicorns, thought Tetris bitterly. He made an attempt when he was twelve to get in to the school – but his application couldn’t even be processed since they required a “magic signature” – one which could only be done by a unicorn applicant.
Tetris saw that there were two unicorns standing side-by-side of the alicorn Princess Celstia. The two unicorns were carrying piles of books on their backs. Twilight Sparkle and Moon Dancer. Twilight Sparkle was a lavender unicorn with a multi-colored mane and a deep pink six-pointed star for a cutie mark Moon Dancer was a yellowish gray unicorn with thick glasses and a cutie mark of a crescent moon and three stars. They were both also going to be at Canterlot University. He wondered what those two mares thought about an earth pony studying magic. By the looks of them though, Tetris gathered that they were so absorbed in their studies that social dynamics were not of particular concern. However, their looks might have been a façade set by Princess Celestia so that her “brightest students” seemed particularly studious. “They look like party girls to me”, joked Tetris.
“Remember”, said Bon-Bon, “it’s mares like these who are your competition.” “I might not be able to defeat them in a magic duel, but maybe I can beat them in a running race or something like that.”
“I want in”, added Bon-Bon, “I would beat all of you guys at a race easily.”
“I would like to see you try. I’m as much of an earth pony as you are.”
“You’re a nerd face”, responded Bon-Bon, “I win by default.”
“Oh hush, you’re as much of a dork as I am. What about your crazy ideas of modifying the structures of foods to increase their positive attributes?”
“I’m thinking about money – that’s not dorky, that’s smart.”
“Now you’re going to start flirting with those unicorn mares and take them away from me.”
“Ho ho, that was my evil plan all along. But no worries, I would never want to date one of those high-class pish-posh types. One word out of my mouth and they will think I’m low-class.”
“That is certainly true”, said Tetris with a chuckle. Tetris didn’t actually think that Bon-Bon was low-class at all. Her family always had financial problems and never had much money while Bon-Bon was growing up, but Bon-Bon was brilliant. She could be anything she wanted to be if she didn’t let her attitude get in the way.
“The business school should be more tolerable than the magic school. I feel certain about that.”
“Okay, Bon-Bon. You are right. Maybe I should apply for transfer to that school.
“I kind of want to see you stick it to those brats. You know more about how magic works than any of them. Use that to your advantage.”
“If I fail, I’ll bring you over to beat the shit out of them.”
“I would. You wouldn’t even have to ask.” ******************************************************
After a couple more hours which included chatting more with Bon-Bon and taking a nap, the train finally arrived at Canterlot.
Tetris could barely believe what he was seeing. He had been to Canterlot twice on family vacations, but this was going to different.
The road had a silver hue to it – one that screamed that Canterlot was a place of royalty. Far out in the distance, Tetris could make out a tall and majestic castle: that was where Princess Celestia lived. She was worshipped in Canterlot as the powerful alicorn she truly was. Places like Belmont Stakes and Manehattan weren’t as keen on worshipping royalty. However, the Princess was still widely admired in those areas too. Celestia had been alive for at least fifteen hundred years. She was a wise and benevolent ruler who had brought peace to Equestria. Tetris would have been ecstatic if he got to meet Princess Celestia one of these days – something that was unlikely, he wasn’t one of her “gifted unicorns”.
“You would be impressed by that castle”, said Bon-Bon taking Tetris away from his thoughts.
“Wouldn’t it be cool to meet Princess Celestia one day? I have so many questions for her.”
“Manehattan has taller and more impressive buildings than that. I didn’t take you as a pony who was so stuck in the past.”
“I’m not. I’m thinking of the future. Celestia is the most powerful pony in all of Equestria. Her magical abilities surpass that of any unicorn – because she is an alicorn. This also makes her part earth pony.”
“Whatever”, said Bon-Bon dismissively, “except in Canterlot, Celestia has no real political power. To think about it, it’s kind of scary. She’s more powerful than Mayor Stirrup. If Celestia wanted to, she could take away his power from Manehattan. I wouldn’t piss her off, Tetris.”
“Heh heh, agreed. Let’s go enjoy college. I’m sure there’s going to be a lot to learn.”
“Alrighty then.”
Tetris and Bon-Bon took the short walk to the university. The university had centuries of history behind it. There was a statue of Princess Celestia and one of Star Swirl the Bearded at the front of campus. The university was already crowded with ponies. The majority of them were unicorns. However, Tetris spotted plenty of earth ponies and pegasi in the mix.
Their dorms were on opposite sides of the campus. They waved goodbye to one another. Tetris was excited and nervous. What exactly would Canterlot University entail for Tetris? Time would certainly tell.
Tetris began to head over to his residence hall – Starswirl. Starswirl was the residence hall associated with the School of Magic. It was the oldest and first one established at Canterlot University. As every pony would know, Starswirl was named after Star Swirl the Bearded – an incredibly gifted unicorn who was considered to be one of the best magicians to have existed. Besides the legends, there was actually little known about the true character of Star Swirl the Bearded. Some had even doubted that Star Swirl ever existed and was simply a character created by Princess Celestia for purposes of building a powerful pro-princess folklore. Unlike Nightmare Moon, another myth the Canterlot royalty insisted was true, Tetris hoped that Star Swirl was a real pony. Star Swirl may have even known how to equip earth ponies and pegasi with unicorn magic. Tetris saw the crystal statue of Star Swirl the Bearded in the middle of the campus. Princess Celestia was the official founder of the University, but she insisted that the idea had been Star Swirl’s – something that he never saw realized due to being a mortal pony. Canterlot University was established more than 300 years after Star Swirl’s death.
Unicorns grew up worshipping and admiring Star Swirl and his powers. The unicorns back home at Belmont Stakes had a very active “Star Swirl the Bearded Fan Club”. It was a club that Tetris always wanted to join – but he felt weird doing so as an earth pony. Earth ponies typically saw Star Swirl as some boring historical figure they needed to know for school – as did the pegasi. Tetris was excited beyond belief. This was his chance to prove himself as a competent student of Magic. Tetris finally arrived at the Starswirl Residence Hall. It was a gorgeous building – one that was a stone castle which was said to stay intact as long as Princess Celestia was alive. This was a common expression which indicated that something would last forever. Celestia was immortal and nothing could kill her. She was the supreme alicorn princess – and the only one who possessed the power of immortality.
Tetris put his hoof on the door handle and tried to open it. Funny, it wouldn’t open. He tried to pull on the handle with all of his strength. He felt his face warm up from all of the stress. Perhaps, there was a security code he needed which they didn’t tell him about. The door suddenly shook in quick successions and then opened up. Tetris turned around and saw two unicorn stallions: one was dark blue and the other had black and white stripes.
“Oh, there isn’t much security on those locks”, said the blue unicorn, “I was able to open it with the most elementary of spells.” The blue unicorn noticed Tetris and then said, “I think you are in the wrong residence hall, this is for the Magic School.”
“I am a student of Magic”, said Tetris slightly annoyed by the blue unicorn’s comment, “I don’t know if I will survive if I can’t even physically open the locks.”
“You are a non-unicorn after all”, said the blue unicorn with an air. Tetris didn’t know what to say. He was just about ready to bolt into the residence hall.
“I know you”, piped the striped unicorn, “you’re the earth pony who did really well on that magic entrance examination.”
“Where did you find that out”, asked Tetris.
“It was big talk at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Sapphire and I became best buddies over there.”
“Please”, said Sapphire, “any pony could get a high score on that exam. It takes a special kind of pony to actually perform magical spells though.”
“I guess you and I are both good-for-nothing slackers”, said the striped unicorn with a chuckle, “neither you nor I were perfect scorers.”
“I don’t need to memorize magic spells”, responded Sapphire, “I feel it inside my body and that is all I need to help me.”
“Hmmm”, said Tetris, “I think that explains why the door shook like that before opening.”
“I doubt it”, said Sapphire.
“Ho ho”, said the striped unicorn with a smirk, “I think earth pony boy has got you there. Pleased to meet you, my name is Ziggy. I think we’ll be good pals.”
“Pleased to meet you too, my name is Tetris.”
“Tetris”, said Sapphire with a sigh, “so, you’re my roommate?”
“Yeah”, said Tetris, “I guess we are roommates.”
“I don’t dislike your kind”, said Sapphire, “it’s just that.. what the hell are you doing in a Magic school?”
“It has always been an interesting hobby of mine”, responded Tetris.
“We should get going. Otherwise, orientation is going to start without us”, said Ziggy with a grin, “I want you to join us.”
“Ziggy”, said Sapphire rolling his eyes, “what will our peers think when they see us associating with the non-unicorn?”
“I think nobody is going to give a shit”, responded Ziggy, “only extremely traditional unicorn families think like that anymore.”
“It’s ponies like my father who are doing their damn best to ensure that our society doesn’t crumble because ponies don’t know their place”, shot back Sapphire, “I wonder, Tetris, do you even know who my father is?”
Tetris had to think about it. He knew about Canterlot politics and the different factions in the royal city. Celestia was the supreme ruler but she had a parliament under her which was intended to support the views of Canterlot. Tetris’ disadvantage was that he didn’t exactly take the time to study the children of those Canterlot politicians. He thought about the most reactionary politicians he had heard of – the ones who wanted things to return where the three races of ponies were essentially at constant war with one another. Tetris thought of a light blue unicorn who often spoke in Parliament with a haughty and regal air – giving long speeches on the superiority of unicorns over other ponies. Regal air? That was his name. Regal Air.
“I think I know your father”, said Tetris confidently, “I have heard him speak many times – Regal Air.”
“I am impressed”, said Sapphire sincerely, “are you from Canterlot?”
“Belmont Stakes.”
“That certainly explains a lot. Fine, Zigs, I permit Tetris to accompany us.”
“Excellent”, said Ziggy with a grin, “hey Tetris, do you mind if you sit in for our exams, heh heh.”
“How many bits?”
“My family has plenty of bits”, said Sapphire nonchalantly, “it shouldn’t be a problem at all.”
Tetris wasn’t particularly keen on helping his classmates cheat on exams – he hoped they were joking. Tetris needed to make friends in the Magic School, so it was best to just nod and agree for now. The three of them headed over to the lobby. The lobby was where all the magic students would convene to begin orientation. They were greeted by a pink unicorn mare with an interesting cutie mark: it was a purple and white star with two glimmering streams. It was well-known that having anything resembling a star as a cutie mark indicated powerful magical abilities. Tetris wondered if that was true for the pink mare.
“Welcome to Canterlot University”, said the pink mare with a cheer, “I know you are going to enjoy your time here! I am Starlight Glimmer, the student body president of the Magic School. I have all of your materials here. Could you just give me your names?”
“Sapphire”
“Ziggy”
“Tetris”
“Oh, Sapphire and Ziggy”, exclaimed Starlight Glimmer, “I should have recognized you both! Graduates of Celestia’s school?”
“Yes we are”, said Sapphire, “we aren’t as high-profile as some others. I remember you my first two years at the school as the filly who did the morning announcements.”
Starlight Glimmer and said, “yes, that was me. I hoped I did an excellent job at it.”
“You sure did”, responded Sapphire with a not-so subtle wink, “always brightened my day.”
“You’re too sweet, Sapphire.”
“You’re too kind.”
Tetris didn’t get a good vibe from Starlight Glimmer at all. She seemed to be kind and friendly on the surface – but there was something fake about her – probably one of those ambitious cut-throat types who would stab anyone in the back to get ahead. Bon-Bon had a better bullshit detector and would have been able to spot Starlight’s true character right away – something told Tetris that neither Sapphire nor Ziggy were good at that sort of stuff.
“Ah, Tetris”, said Starlight Glimmer, “you are an interesting one indeed. Hopefully, you stick around unlike the last earth pony who entered our school.”
“The last earth pony?”
“My freshman year”, said Starlight Glimmer, “there was this total brainiac who enrolled – a gray mare with no personality – she absorbed information like a sponge but after a week, she decided to become a rockology major. I feel so bad. Rocks are so boring.”
Rockology? Some of the ponies from the rock farming communities could really get into that sort of stuff, maybe that mare was passionate about it.
“I hope to stick around longer.”
“The fact that you even bother to speak with me is a good sign”, responded Starlight, “that mare was so anti-social. I think her only friend was a rock in her pocket, so the major made sense. Good for me honestly. At the first day of class, she knew more about the history of magic than me. I might have not been #1 in my class freshman year, LOL!!”
“Congratulations on doing so well, Starlight Glimmer.”
“Thank you. I know you’re not a unicorn, but you can definitely excel in the Magic School. I am honored to be your mentor this year. Each freshman is assigned a mentor. I have looked through your files. It appears your intellectual aptitude matches that of mine – sure, you don’t have a horn apparatus to produce the magic, but I think I can find other ways to get you producing spells. I’m actually hoping to make that my thesis. Out of all the upperclassmen in the Magic School, I am definitely the best fit for you as mentor.”
“Thank you, I look forward to working with you too.”
Starlight Glimmer grinned and then said, “Here are all of the things you will need for your dorms. And oh Tetris, there is an ID card you can use to enter the residence hall. No need to worry about needing a pesky horn to get in. I know you all will enjoy Canterlot University so much!”
“So jealous”, said Sapphire, “you have Starlight Glimmer for a mentor. How the hell did that happen?”
“Dunno, maybe selections were done randomly.”
“Probably not”, said Ziggy, “they try to match ponies based on ability. At least, that’s what my sister told me. And they let the better students pick first, Starlight Glimmer probably got first choice – it was either Tetris or those two dork fillies we went to school with.”
“Heh heh”, responded Sapphire, “Starlight would have been better off with me than one of those two antisocial shut-outs.”
“Well”, said Ziggy, “Moondancer is nice. She’s just shy, but really friendly once you get to know her. Twilight Sparkle though. She just doesn’t like other ponies. She thinks she’s better than everypony else and lets you know it. Don’t tell Starlight this, but I like the pony who replaced her in the announcements better.”
“Oh, Minuette”, said Sapphire, “she was so low-class though – she’s at Canterlot University but going to pre-dental school instead of magic school.”
“Minuette was funnier and more down-to-earth. I dunno”, said Ziggy, “Starlight often sounded kind of fake to me – like she was pretending to be all bubbly and friendly but really detested us.”
“You’re just jealous because she probably would never sleep with your zebra ass.”
“Zebra”, asked Tetris.
“Oh yeah”, said Ziggy, “my dad is a zebra – so I’m technically a half unicorn.”
But the fact that Ziggy had a horn and could perform magic spells meant he was a unicorn and not a zebra, if two ponies of different races mated – the offspring either take on all the traits of one or another. For example, if Tetris were to raise a family with a unicorn mare – they could have a unicorn son and an earth pony daughter.
“Haha”, said Sapphire, “one of these days – you’ll admit to me that you can perform those crazy voodoo spells that I hear about.”
“My dad is from Fillydelphia, not Afillica. I dare you to ask him if he can do them next time you see him. Well, my room is on the fourth floor. You two have fun on the third floor.”
“Good meeting you, Ziggy”, said Tetris.
“We’re definitely going to hang out, you seem like a cool guy.”
Tetris and Sapphire headed up to Room #311 – this would be their freshman dorm room.
“Guessing you’re the only pony from Belmont Stakes in the Magic School”, said Sapphire.
“Yea, just me”, responded Tetris, “there are a couple of us at Canterlot too – even two unicorns who aren’t studying magic.”
“The Magic School is quite difficult to get into”, said Sapphire, “you can be admitted to Canterlot University but rejected by the Magic School, that’s what happened to that Minuette filly.”
“Good to know.”
“Stick with me and Ziggy and we’ll help you through this school – even though you’re not a unicorn.”
“Thank you. I’m glad to have such a good support system here.”
Tetris felt relieved that his roommate was actually starting to warm up to him – mostly thanks to Ziggy who seemed like a more tolerant pony.
The two stallions began to unpack their things. Tetris couldn’t help but to notice that Sapphire often handled objects in a clumsy manner when using his horn. It was funny but Tetris knew how to help his roommate become better at magic – the question was whether Sapphire would accept help from an earth pony in that regard.
Tetris heard his phone vibrate and saw the following message, “Hey bro – party tonight at Mu Alpha Gamma. You definitely want to go. There are gonna be a lot of people and a lot of booze. This is Ziggy by the way.”
Tetris responded with, “Awesome, I’ll be there.”
“Mu Alpha Gamma”, said Sapphire, “the most prestigious unicorn fraternity on campus – Ziggy makes friends very easily. We’ll definitely be partying it up tonight – oh yea. We’re in fucking college!”
