How beignets are made.
"Order up, Parfait!"
A tray with two plates of beignets on it floated in a light-blue field of magic. The unicorn, from which the magic was projected, stood on the door threshold of the Café and the kitchen. She had a tan coat with a dark brown mane styled in crescents. On her flanks were croissants, her cutie mark. This unicorn was Croissant, and she seemed very impatient.
A dark brown pegasus walked up to her. Her pink and white mane bore a resemblance to toothpaste. This pegasus was the aforementioned Parfait, the waitress of the Café.
These two ponies were employed at the most popular bakery in Neigh Orleans, Café du Monde. This bakery had a selection of treats, but none more popular than the beignet. These fried bits of dough topped with sugar were a Neigh Orleans icon. The sugar of Café du Monde's beignets was so sweet that they've attracted the eye of royalty. It’s not uncommon to see one of the royals guards from Canterlot enter the Café with a letter from the Princesses themselves. Many have tried to recreate these magnificent baked goods but none have truly succeeded. ‚
Parfait took the receipt off the tray and examined the slip of paper. She then turned her attention to the tray. Confident that everything was in order she smiled widely and took the tray.
"Thanks, sugar," Parfait said as she walked away to deliver the order.
Croissant remained silent and walked back into the kitchen. It was time for her plans to be put into action.
A little brown filly with a tan and white mane was laying on a bag of flour playing a GameMare. She seemed completely immersed in the device, moving in random directions as if she were actually in the game.
"Hey, Chicory!" Croissant said, trying to be louder than the game.
The filly looked up from the screen and fixed Croissant with a curious look.
"Would you mind watching the kitchen for a few minutes while I run to the bathroom?"
"Sure, no problem," Chicory replied with a shrug.
Croissant nodded in gratitude. Chicory looked back down to her game only to be met with a digital explosion sound and an announcer saying "Game over."
"Aww, horseapples," mumbled Chicory, rather bummed out.
Croissant walked out a side door of the kitchen into a hallway. In the middle of the hallway was a door that lead to the actually clean employees’ bathroom, but at the other end of the hall was a door that lead to the boss's office. While Beignet did make an effort to do as much work around Café du Monde as the rest of them, she was still the boss. Being the boss meant that she often had loads of boring paperwork that she needed to do in her office.
Croissant walked up to the office door and looked at the doorknob. Her stomach felt like she had eaten a breakfast of live caterpillars. In a moment of nervous bravery, she grabbed the knob and turned it. She pushed open the door quickly, using her remaining momentum to swing around the door and fall onto it. The door was slammed shut and Croissant slid down to the floor.
The room was devoid of any other ponies. Croissant realized she was holding her breath and started breathing again.
She knew, of course, that the room would be empty. Beignet was at a meeting with Chicory's teacher. Apparently Beignet's younger sister, in a quest to earn her cutie mark, followed the advice of her three Ponyville penpals and built a trebuchet during recess. The result was a dodgeball being launched clear across Neigh Orleans. Regardless of what Croissant knew, she was still very on edge.
The office was very plain. There was a desk, chair, and filing cabinet much like every office ever. On the wall was a custom-made calendar that featured Beignet dressed as a vampire with Chicory dressed as an annoyed pumpkin. It was October. Next to the calendar was Croissant's target, a wall safe.
She approached the safe, noticing it had a numeric keypad.
"Thank Celestia you got drunk off your ass last New Years," Croissant muttered under her breath as she entered in the number 09212014.
The safe beeped, and a loud click verified that it was now open. Croissant trembled slightly as the butterflies in her stomach fluttered around furiously. She wished that she had actually gone to the bathroom so she could vomit. She began to sweat heavily. If she really wanted to she could run back to the kitchen before the next order even came in. No pony would ever know she was here. Croissant took a deep breath, turned the handle, and opened the safe.
Inside were various bits and a few gems. Croissant's actual prize lay under a rather sizable sapphire. She levitated the parchment out of the safe and in front of her eyes. She read the first line aloud.
"'Café du Monde's Secret Sugar Recipe.' Finally! This is it!"
Croissant was suddenly aware of a sharp pain in the back of her head and the sound of a now-dented frying pan before blacking out.
***
Croissant woke up a few hours later...or at least she thought she did. Everything remained dark, yet she could feel all of her limbs and body. She especially felt the pounding in her head. It ached in rhythm to her heartbeat. While painful, it wasn't crippling. Croissant cringed as she felt the pain spike in her head.
Her surroundings felt cold, and she seemed to be laying on some kind of metal surface. The air was damp and smelled strongly of disinfectant. The only sound in the room seemed to be a fire crackling...and a quill writing. The quick, haphazard scratching sounded like somepony writing.
Croissant went to put a hoof on her face to check for anything blocking her vision, only to find that her hoof didn't move far. It seemed to be restrained by what felt like a rope.
She tried moving once more.
Nothing.
She tried every limb.
Nothing.
She began to struggle against the ropes noisily.
Nothing.
The writing stopped and Croissant froze. She wasn't sure if this writing pony was the one who put her here or just a random pony that was there to help. She was sure it wasn’t the latter.
She heard hoofsteps on a hard surface. The steps grew louder until the pony was to her immediate right. Croissant could feel fear rising in her belly as the pony to her right just stood there, silently. Croissant could swear she smelled flour.
"H-hello?" Croissant stuttered, "I h-heard you walk over. W-would you p-p-please turn on the lights?"
Croissant was shaking ever so slightly, mostly from the anxiety of what might happen to her. What happened next she could have never predicted.
Something hard and cold touched the side of her face and grabbed something. With a quick pull, her vision returned.
Croissant was looking towards a concrete wall. Against the wall was a wooden desk and a large wood-burning stove that attached to a pipe. The pipe ran up towards the ceiling, joining many other pipes and ventilation systems. If Croissant had to guess, she was probably in one of the few basements of Neigh Orleans.
Croissant turned her head to the right and her jaw dropped. There stood a tan earth pony mare with a white mane. From one of black, shoe-covered hooves hung a blindfold. It was Beignet, the owner and boss of Café du Monde.
Her expression, normally happy and carefree, seemed more annoyed and even angry. Regardless, Croissant let out a sigh of relief as she was put at ease.
"Hi there, Beignet," Croissant greeted casually, "Was this all just some sort of Nightmare Night prank? 'Cause you scared the Tartarus outta me."
Croissant laughed to herself. Beignet only glared harder until she finally hit the tipping point. She punched Croissant in the side of her face, catching the unicorn completely off guard.
Pain exploded in the side of Croissant's face. Both from her headache and the hoof in her face. She felt some of her teeth crack from the earth pony's strength. The left side of her face hit the table causing another spike of pain.
Croissant groaned, her mouth tasting like blood. She felt the loose pieces in her mouth and spat out the tooth fragments. She turned back to Beignet.
"What the fuck, Beignet?!" yelled Croissant, blood slowly running down her bottom lip.
Beignet massaged her hoof while maintaining her glare from earlier.
"Who do you work for?" Beignet asked coldly.
Croissant seemed utterly confused by the question. Fear began to build up in the unicorn again.
"What...?"
Beignet slammed her front hooves onto the metal Croissant was tied to. The result was a loud 'CLANG' that Croissant could feel passing through her body.
"Who do you work for?!" Beignet screamed at Croissant.
"I-I work for you!" Croissant felt the pressure building from her fear and anxiety.
"Bullshit!" Beignet shouted, getting close to Croissant's face, "You broke into my office and into my safe. You stole the secret sugar recipe, and for what? To make sugar cookies for your grandma? No, somepony hired you to get it so they could topple my business. Now I'll ask one more time, WHO...ARE...THEY?!"
Croissant could no longer take the pressure, nor the headache.
"Alright!" she shouted in frustration, "I work for Donut Joe! He hired me to work for you, steal the recipe, and haul ass back to his headquarters in Canterlot. Fucking Tartarus."
Beignet's expression softened to a more neutral one. She backed away from Croissant and walked just out of sight. Croissant looked down at the rest of her body. She was indeed held down by rope. One going across her upper body, another over her midsection and above her hooves, and the last over her hind legs. She began to struggle slightly against the bonds looking for any weaknesses.
"Of course it was Donut Joe," Beignet thought aloud, the sounds of stuff being put into liquid could be heard behind Croissant, "He couldn't buy me out, so the next course of action is to put me out of business. Opening a store next door didn't work. Neither did opening another one across the street. He lost so much money before he closed them."
The ropes didn't give. Then Croissant had an obvious idea. Her magic! Duh! She scanned the surrounding area.
"Then the spies started," Beignet continued, "Find the recipe, make beignets, and sell them cheap. Do you know how many spies we had before you?"
A kitchen knife. It was embedded in the wooden desk. Croissant didn't want to think about why. She focused and tried to levitate the knife.
Nothing happened.
She focused harder, holding her breath.
Nothing.
She focused hard enough for her head to start throbbing. Sweat drops began to form on her face from the effort.
Suddenly light-blue sparks shot out the base of her horn. Croissant began breathing again.
"I wouldn't try using magic, hun," Beignet said casually, "That Magic Inhibitor is good at what it does. Had to buy it at that one adult store with the inflatable unicorn out front. Apparently it's for unicorns that are into that BDSM stuff. Makes them feel completely...helpless."
Beignet emphasized the last word. It sent an icy shiver down Croissant's spine. She looked up to see that the little bit of her horn that was visible had a black rubber covering. Croissant felt the fear in her stomach...on her skin...everywhere. It felt as if an ever-present pressure of fear was pushing on her at every angle.
"Un-t-tie me, B-Beignet, or I'll scream!"
The sound of water stopped. Croissant could hear hoofsteps and shuffling. Beignet walked back in front of Croissant holding a brown paper bag.
"Please do. It will give me a chance to use this gag," Beignet took out a red ball gag, "Also from the adult store. They were having a sale."
Beignet dropped the gag back into the bag and walked out of sight again.
"Besides," Beignet continued, "Nopony would be able to hear you, hun. Firstly, because this here basement is pretty darned soundproof. The walls and ceiling are thick concrete. Secondly, the store upstairs is empty on account of it being...11:43 at night. You've been out for quite a while, hun."
Croissant was out of options for escape. Maybe she could talk Beignet out of...talk her out of...what? Croissant realized she had no idea what Beignet's plans were. She only knew she had no escape.
Croissant tried to clear her mind and calm down. She took a deep breath, held it for a second, and exhaled.
"Beignet," Croissant tried to say as calmly as she could, "What are you doing?"
"Oh, just cleaning my tools," Beignet said with a sigh, "I always forget to clean them because I'm so tired afterwards."
"After what?"
"...You didn't actually read the recipe, did you?"
"I kinda got interrupted. How is that relevant?"
Croissant heard hoofsteps as Beignet walked back into view. She walked over to the wooden desk and picked up a piece of parchment.
"Ahem," Beignet cleared her throat before reading aloud, "'While there are three ways to create this sugar, the best way is to use about 8 ounces of finely-ground alicorn.'"
Beignet waited for a gasp or any indication of shock. Croissant just looked positively confused.
"Alicorn? Like Celestia?"
Beignet smirked. She giggled to herself as walked back behind Croissant.
"Well, somepony slept through school," Beignet said, wheeling a cloth-covered cart to Croissant's left, "Alicorn is an Old Equestrian term for the horn of a unicorn."
Suddenly everything clicked in Croissant's mind. She looked up at her rubber-covered horn and back down at Beignet. Beignet still had the remnants of her smirk. She sighed in exhaustion and her whole body seemed to shift into a really tired state.
"Dear Celestia, I hate this part," said Beignet her eyes closed, "Always have to work so darned late."
There was a moment of stressed silence. Beignet seemed to be resting while standing. Her head bowed and her eyes closed. Croissant was beginning to panic.
Surely Beignet had to have misspoken. Harvesting of a unicorn's horn in any respect was deemed unethical and illegal a long time ago. On top of that, Beignet was the kindest pony she knew. She would never do anything illegal, let alone this...evil. There was no way.
Beignet turned her head to the left, cracking it. She did the same to the right, standing up straight afterwards.
"Well, best get to work," she said apathetically.
She grabbed the cloth that covered the cart and, with one fluid motion, pulled the cloth away and laid it across Croissant.
Croissant's eyes fell on the cart and her pupils shrank.
On the cart were what appeared to be surgical tools. Scalpels, needles full of various liquids, a bonesaw, and a really odd device. The device looked like two halves of doughnut with a hinge attaching the two halves. On the rightmost end was a small box. The whole device looked rather old and seemed to be made of slightly rusty iron.
Beignet followed Croissant's gaze and picked up the device.
"This caught your attention?" Beignet asked, holding the device. Without waiting for an answer she continued, "This here tool has been passed down in my family for an awfully long time. From when the three pony races were still angrily divided. Do you want to know what it does?"
Beignet looked at Croissant for a moment. Croissant was trying to find any answer that wasn't 'act as a floatation device for mice.'
Beignet quickly hit a pedal with her hoof and the metal Croissant was attached to fell into a horizontal position. Before Croissant could process this, Beignet had tied another rope across her forehead. Croissant looked up at the much taller Beignet.
"This here is a horn saw. An ancient tool used by the pegasus and earth pony tribes to remove the horns of captured unicorns," Croissant's eyes widened as Beignet spoke of the instrument with pride, "It works by spinning a sharp chain around a circle. The circle gets smaller and smaller, slicing through the bone and nerve 'til the horn just pops off. This one was made by one of my ancestor, Sugar Cane. He made the sweetest sugar this side of, what would become, Neigh Orleans."
"But B-Beignet," Croissant stuttered in panic, "You c-can't do this to me. I'm your fr-friend."
Beignet looked down at Croissant, her eyes narrowing.
"Friend?" Beignet almost spat at her, "How dare you have the NERVE to say that."
Croissant eyes began to dart around to avoid Beignet's glare. She was so sure that would work.
"I wish we were friends," Beignet's words dripped with venom, "I wish we could go out right now and play Cards Against Equinity with Parfait. Maybe have a cup of cider as we discussed the fun times we've all had together and laugh. Maybe we would think of the future and how we would be close friends for a long time. I wish we could."
Beignet turned away. Croissant could only stare upwards as the movement of Beignet's voice and hoofsteps made it clear that she was pacing.
"You should have really been a professional poker player, Croissant. I couldn't even tell how hard you were lying to me when you said I was your friend. Tartarus, I think even Celestia would have a hard time calling your bluff. To think all that time I spent talking to you, telling you about my true self and sharing my most personal secrets, you were thinking about how loudly the bag of bits from Donut Joe was going to jingle."
Croissant opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out. She had nothing to say in her defense. Beignet paused, but the continued sound of her hoofsteps gave away that she was still pacing. She stepped back to Croissant and leaned close to her ear.
"You know what?" Beignet whispered, "I don't care anymore."
Croissant's blood ran cold. She now had a good idea as to why that kitchen knife was in the table.
Suddenly, something was put around the base of Croissant's horn and was clicked into place. It felt cold to the her skin.
Fearing the worst, Croissant began to scream. Nothing coherent - she didn't scream for help nor beg for mercy. She just let her fear and anxiety out by way of scream. It was quite loud, and Croissant could feel the burn in the back of her throat as her voice was pushed out of it's normal range.
As suddenly as before, the red gag was shoved into her mouth and tightened. The surprise stopping her scream and causing her to shiver slightly from the remaining fear.
"That's quite enough of that," Beignet said, a bit of relief in her voice, "Was really hoping not to to use the gag tonight but I've already got a pretty bad headache, and you're not helping."
Beignet picked up a crank that had a gear on one end. She placed it into a corresponding slot on the horn saw. She turned it until the gear clicked into place.
“I not saying this is going to hurt a lot, hun," Beignet said, "But it's sure gonna hurt a lot."
Beignet began turning the crank at a rather slow pace. The saw began to hum from the chain moving on it's ball bearings.
Croissant began to scream again. This time, though, it was muffled by the gag. Croissant struggled against her bonds trying to move anything, especially her head. Her efforts seemed to be useless. She began to cry.
"Oh, will you settle down," Beignet said, "You don't want me to mess up, do you?"
Over a minute passed like this, with the saw's humming and Croissant's muffled sobbing.
Suddenly pain. Stinging, burning pain around the base of her horn caused her to scream again. Unknown warmth ran down her forehead. Only when it reached her eyes and turned the world into shades of red did she realize it was blood.
Beignet continued turning the crank until it hit something hard and stopped. Croissant could feel the hard jolt all the way through her skull.
"Oh my," Beignet said, observing her progress, "It seems I've already hit bone. I always forget how thin the skin is there."
Croissant was having a hard time keeping the the mental image out of her mind. It was horrifying to think of what was actually happening.
The base of her horn burned and stung as it continued gushing blood.
"Celestia's Sun! Unicorns are always so messy. So much blood going to the head. Nothing like earth ponies or pegasi."
Croissant said something that sounded slightly like: "Earth ponies and Pegasi?" Unfortunately it was far too muffled to be heard correctly. Beignet, however, knew exactly what she was going to say. They all said that.
"Yes, earth ponies and pegasi. Did you think only unicorns had magic inside them?"
Beignet paused, waiting for some indication of an answer. Croissant just kept rapidly blinking to try to get the blood out of her eyes.
"Earth ponies and pegasi also have magical body parts. Pegasi have a little gland right under their wings that lets them fly. Earth ponies hooves, oddly enough, have a kind of strength magic. I guess that's why we're so strong. But like I said before, hun, nothin' beats alicorn."
Croissant stopped blinking and looked directly at Beignet. She began speaking but her whole sentence was muffled by the gag.
Beignet sighed. She loosened the gag and removed it.
"So that's your plan is it?" Croissant said accusingly, "To slice and dice Chicory, Parfait, and me? Turn us into sugar for your Luna-damned beignets? Not only your friends but your own damn sister? Is that what happened to you parents? You fucking sick, equicidal bitch!"
On the last word Croissant spit at Beignet, a tooth fragment hitting her cheek. The flames in Beignet's eyes could have melted the metal Croissant was tied to. She wiped the tooth away and shoved the gag back in Croissant's mouth, tightening it more that necessary.
With her hoof back on the crank, Beignet put her full strength in and turned it one-half turn. The sharp edges of the chain scratched hard at the bone. A sharp pain shot through Croissant's brain, causing her to cry.
"How dare you even SUGGEST I would do that to my family."
Beignet turned the crank another half-turn.
"And you have the nerve to include yourself on the same level as them and Parfait."
Beignet turned the crank halfway a bit faster.
"Parfait is my fillyhood friend," Beignet almost growled at Croissant, "I would never even THINK of doing this to her, and she would never in a million years betray me like you did."
The pauses between turns became brief.
"YOU LYING..."
Turn.
"...BACKSTABBING..."
Turn.
"...WHORE!"
With that Beignet cranked upwards with so much strength that the horn cracked along the base and was torn off. The horn and saw tumbled to the floor with a CLANG. Croissant began to bleed immensely from her forehead. Bits of nerve and brain hung across her face, torn. The combination of blood loss and pain caused her to black out.
***
When Croissant came to, she was incredibly weak and numb. Her vision was beginning to fade around the edges.
She had been untied, ungaged, and the metal she laid on was tilted upwards slightly. She looked downwards to see the open door of the large wood-burning stove, her hooves mere inches from the flames.
Suddenly she tilted up more, sliding about an inch closer. Beignet stood up to her right, pulling a lever up with her.
"Beig...net..." Croissant managed to say, her voice barely audible.
Beignet looked up at Croissant with an apathetic expression.
"Croissant," she said, closing her eyes, "You're fired."
Beignet pulled the lever down and the last thing Croissant saw were the tears falling down Beignet's face.
***
Dear Princess Luna,
I send this letter ahead of me to say that I'm on my way to Canterlot with your order. One thousand-five hundred beignets all ready for your Harvest Moon Ball tonight.
I do hope you don't mind but I'm bringing my little sister, Chicory, along as my assistant. I promise she will be on her best behavior.
The beignets, as always, are made to perfection. In fact, they should be better than normal because I just got a fresh delivery of my premium sugar in yesterday. I guarantee your guests won't be able to get enough of these sweet treats.
We should be arriving at about 2:15 if the train is on time. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you please have a unicorn or two there when we arrive to assist with the unloading? I'd appreciate it.
Thank you once again, Princess, for allowing us to cater one of your events. It truly is an honor and I assure you that you will not be disappointed.
See you soon, Princess,
Beignet
Cafe du Monde, Neigh OrleansP.S. Remember that apprentice to the royal baker that you recommended to me for a job? Please tell her that a position has opened up if she wants it.