> Lavender's Plight > by theNDinspector > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Doubt > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Four ponies sat in the commanding officer’s office of the Wonderbolt Academy. Two officers in navy-blue uniforms sat behind and beside the desk while two cadets in blue and yellow flight suits sat in front of it. It was evaluation time for Barrel Roll and Lavender after a week of training at the Academy for Equestria’s top team of elite flyers. But one of them expressed her desire not to continue. All eyes turned the purple mare with the silver badge. “Are you sure about this?” Colonel Spitfire asked, looking into Lavender’s blue eyes, which were partially obscured by her blue mane. Lavender’s eyes darted around the room, trying to avoid eye contact with Spitfire, Soarin and Barrel Roll. There were assorted medals, trophies and various Wonderbolt posters on the walls. Finally she resorted to staring at a statue of a pony in flight resting on Spitfire’s desk. “Yes,” Lavender sighed. Spitfire looked over to Soarin, who simply shrugged his shoulders, and back to Lavender. “May I at least ask why?” Lavender was studying the wings of the pegaus statue, which were far too large for its body. Taking a deep breath, she looked back up into Spitfire’s amber eyes, “I never really wanted to be here.” “Would you please elaborate?” Spitfire leaned on her desk and put her hooves together. Lavender glanced over at the white stallion beside her, who gave her an encouraging nod. While it didn’t help much, Lavender felt glad of his support. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to Spitfire. “Being a Wonderbolt has basically been a tradition in my family for as long as I can remember,” Lavender explained. “There were a lot of expectations of me joining, but I never felt the same passion for it.” “So, why did you sign up?” Major Soarin asked. “I didn’t want to let anypony down, especially my dad,” Lavender sighed as she looked back at the desk ornament. “I tried to force myself through it, thinking that it would grow on me, but I lost steam three days ago. I just wanted to give up, but I couldn’t; it was against everything my dad taught me.” “You were doing fine for the past two days,” Soarin pointed out. “What changed?” Lavender broke her gaze from the statue’s goggles and looked at Soarin. “A couple of my roommates helped me out and suggested that I make it through the week in order to prove to myself and my dad that I could do this.” “And who were these ponies?” “Scootaloo and Blue Yonder.” Both Spitfire and Soarin raised their eyebrows and glanced at each other. Lavender couldn’t understand why this particular bit of information was such big deal, especially since this was her evaluation. “Well,” Spitfire started, recovering from her moment of surprise. “It’ll be a shame to see you go. You have a lot of talent. What was your father’s name by the way?” “Cool Breeze,” Lavender answered. “Cool Breeze?” Spitfire mused, tapping her chin. “Oh yeah, I remember him. He was also a fantastic flyer. He definitely left too soon.” Lavender felt her stomach clench. “Yeah,” she muttered, and both she and Barrel Roll were dismissed from the office. The hallway was empty and all Lavender could look at was the floor in front of her. “So, what are you going to tell your dad?” Barrel Roll asked, breaking the silence. “I don’t know.” *** After about an hour of flying, Lavender could finally see the Fillydelphia skyline. It wasn’t the largest city on Equestria’s eastern coast (an honor that had been taken by Manehattan), but it still pretty prestigious in its own right as being one of the oldest settlements in Equestria and home of the Harmony Bell. It felt so good to be home again. Lavender had almost forgotten the pains of the past week; but it all came crashing down as she knew that this might be a bittersweet homecoming. ‘It can’t be much past two’ Lavender thought as she took a look at the sun’s position in the sky. ‘Dad’s still probably at the school. I wonder what his students are like this year.’ Lavender landed in the region commonly called West Filly and walked among the streets. Before returning to her home, she was drawn to a certain shop with a sign of a pretzel and lemon in the middle. The Salty Lemon was a bar and café that had only opened a couple of months ago by a couple of Lavender’s dearest friends. Slowly, she pushed open the door. Inside were a series of tables and benches around the middle and perimeter of the room, along with a radio and several pictures of sights around the city. It was oddly quiet as nopony was sitting at any of these tables. Happy hour was still a couple of hours away, but Lavender thought that at least somepony would be here. The only other pony in the room was busy cleaning a large counter where several stools rested and a cabinet of a wide variety of liquors and beverages were displayed behind it. The young earth-pony stallion tending the bar had a yellow coat and brown mane that was neatly brushed. He also wore a black vest and bow-tie, and had an image of a glass and some sliced lemons on his flank. Upon hearing the door close, the pony behind the counter looked up and smiled. “Lavender,” he said gleefully. “Has it been a week already?” “Yes, I’m back, Limoncello,” Lavender replied as she dropped her saddlebags on the floor and took a seat at the freshly cleaned counter. “Are you still having trouble with the new business?” “No, not too much,” Limoncello said as he grabbed some glasses and started to wipe down the insides with a different cloth. “We get a descent sized crowd in the evening, particularly on the weekends. It’s still the middle of the day. Can I get you anything? Salzig just pulled out a fresh batch of pretzels from the oven.” Lavender felt her mouth water and heard a small growl in her stomach. Pretzels weren’t exactly her favorite food, but her long flight did increase her appetite. “Sure.” With that, Limoncello left through a door behind the counter and soon returned with a plate balanced in his hoof and set it before Lavender. The golden-brown, twisted knot of bread laid on it, still letting of wisps of steam. She tore off a chunk and threw it in her mouth. It was soft, baked perfectly and topped off with both butter and salt. Soon, the entire plate was empty, and Lavender felt rather satisfied. “You look tired,” Limoncello commented as he looked into Lavenders now baggy blue eyes. “Well, I did just fly all the way back from Cloudsdale practically,” Lavender stated, looking into the stallion’s deep brown eyes. It was only partly true. While flying was certainly a work out, Lavender also felt the weight of sleep depravity over the course of the past week. She woke up multiple times during the night while at the academy, always feeling as though she had run a marathon. Limoncello smirked, “Still refuse to ride the train?” “Don’t you know how filthy that thing is?! I’d rather take a hike through a swamp! At least that’s naturally disgusting!” Limoncello simply chuckled at Lavender’s outburst. He had long known and was used to Lavender’s obsession with cleanliness, but he never shied away from an opportunity to mess with her about it. Calming down, Limoncello asked, “So how did training at the Wonderbolt Academy go?” Lavender lowered her head and ears drooped towards the ground. She let out a long sigh and closed her eyes. Limoncello’s smile faded, “That bad, huh?” “Not really,” Lavender grimaced. “I honestly made it worse than it needed to be. I made it through—and technically passed—but…I can’t do it, I-I just can’t.” She then buried her face into her forelegs on the counter. “I don’t know what I’m going to tell my dad.” Limoncello looked at the distraught mare for a few moments and gently placed a hoof on her shoulder. She didn’t flinch or recoil, but let him gently massage her. “Well, you said you were going to try, and you did that. I’m sure he’ll understand.” “I don’t know,” Lavender moaned. “It means everything to him.” “Would you like a drink?” Lavender rolled her head and opened one eye. “Isn’t it a bit early to be drinking?” Limoncello tapped his chin for a moment before his eyes lit up. “I got just the thing.” In a quick series of motions, Lavender watched as Limoncello took a few bottles and from the cabinet, poured liquid into a shaker, mixed it and grabbed a small shot glass. Gently, he poured a bright yellow liquid into the glass and placed it in front of Lavender, who just glared at it. “Don’t worry, it’s clean,” Limoncello said, referring to the glass. “I scrub these things clean ten times now because of you.” “I suppose that’ll do,” Lavender sighed as she picked up the glass and drained it in one gulp. It tasted a lot like lemonade, but with something extra. It was oddly pleasant. She could feel her body relax a little. “Thanks. You always know how to lift me up.” “It’s what I do,” the stallion shrugged. “Well, I guess I should get going. Although I’m not sure how I’m going to break this to my dad.” Lavender reached for her saddlebags and opened it to find her bit purse. Upon seeing this, Limoncello raised a hoof, “Don’t worry, it’s on the house.” “Oh come on!” Lavender gaped. “You can’t keep doing this!” “I can and I will,” Limoncello said with a smug grin. “However, there is one payment I’ll accept, but you have to read this first.” He grabbed an envelope from a drawer and gave it to Lavender. She tore the seal it and found a red card on the inside. Opening it revealed a pressed bunch of purple flowers much like the ones shown in Lavender’s cutie mark. There was also a note: I love you my little flower. Lavender’s cheeks flushed and she felt her heart flutter like a butterfly. She looked up and kissed Limoncello—lips locked in complete bliss. “I love you too,” Lavender said as she broke the kiss and walked out the door and headed for home. > Anxiety > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The happy feelings from visiting Limoncello had worn off as Lavender got closer and closer to her home. She opened the door to the apartment and sighed. It was three now, but the house was still empty. Her dad should be returning soon, unless he had to stay late—which would be odd at this time of year since he didn’t start staying after school until springtime in order to coach track and field, and it was still nearing the end of summer. Even though Lavender was happy to be home, she couldn’t help but feel irritated at her dad; she had been gone for only a week and already the place was filthy. There was a thin layer of dust on the table and cabinets in the living room, a pile of used dishes lay in the sink, and small trails of dirt littered the floor. Groaning in disgust, Lavender went to the closet, put on some rubber gloves and pulled out the cleaners. She dusted the tables and cabinets, washed the dishes and began to sweep and mop the floor; the cleaners left a fresh flowery scent as she went. The apartment was decorated with tons of Wonderbolt memorabilia. Much like Colonel Spitfire’s office, several posters were plastered to the walls—including one to an event at the Fillidelphia Aerodrome where Lavender’s parents, Cool Breeze and Cinnamon had first met. That was back when he was in the reserves. The life of service in the Wonderbolts had been engrained into Cool Breeze’s head by his father, and his father before him—all of whom served in the Wonderbolts either as flyers or the support staff. Now Lavender was expected to do the same thing, but she just couldn’t. It was not the life she wanted to live. Sure, she may have been a great flyer, but that’s not all that’s necessary to join the elite team. She didn’t have the will or desire. She was weighed down by all of these expectations, chaining her to a certain course of destiny. Lavender hated that, but couldn’t stand to disappoint her father after he had to give up some of his own dreams. Lavender paused by the one picture in the house that wasn’t specifically related to the Wonderbolts. In it were three ponies: a blue-maned, purple pegasus filly being held up by a scarlet earth-pony mare with a maroon mane and a steel-blue pegasus stallion with a navy-blue mane. All of them were smiling. Lavender focused on the bright-eyed filly in the picture. ‘Why is she so happy?’ she thought. ‘How does she not realize that her whole world will be turned upside down just a few months later?’ Sighing, Lavender looked away from the picture and returned to cleaning the floor. Many had often made fun of her obsession for cleanliness, and Lavender admitted that it could be a problem at times—especially when interacting with others—but it was the one thing that she loved doing. She felt calm and could eliminate her stress and frustrations in a physical way and actually accomplish something in the process. Unfortunately, cleaning wasn’t helping her calm down today. With every passing minute, her anxiety grew. Sweat dripped down her face from both hard work and worry. “What am I going to tell him?” She moaned as she finished scrubbing the floor. “I’m just going to crush his dreams…again.” She could feel tears collecting in her eyes when the front door opened. In walked a steel-blue stallion wearing a grey gym shirt, whistle and red ball cap over his receding navy-blue mane. His flank bore four curvy lines that were essentially parallel to each other and looped at one end—signifying a breeze. Dad was finally home. “Lavender, I thought you’d be back today,” Cool Breeze joyously exclaimed. “How was…uh oh.” He finally realized that Lavender was cleaning the floor and looked down. Sure enough, there were some soggy hoof prints left on the damp floor behind him. “Dad, I just cleaned that!” Lavender glared at him, momentarily forgetting the past week and the news for her dad. “Sorry,” Cool Breeze said sheepishly as he backed out the front door to wipe his hooves on the doormat while Lavender hovered over the blemishes in the clean floor and scrubbed them spotless again. Once she was done, he spread his own wings and flew over to the couch, careful not to drop anything on the forbidden floor below. ‘Wings are so useful for cleaning,’ Lavender thought, smiling at how she could not only clean the entire floor without standing on it, but also fly over to high places and wipe down dust and cobwebs from ceilings, high cabinets and fans. “So,” Cool Breeze called from his position on the couch. “How did the Wonderbolt training go?” Lavender froze, and subsequently fell flat on the ground. She quickly got back on her hooves and brushed herself off—her dad waiting expectantly. “W-well,” she stammered. “It was pretty rough.” “Heh, I don’t doubt that,” Cool Breeze chuckled. “I remember the drill sergeant having us a thousand of everything when I was there: wing-ups, jumping jacks, laps…you name it, we did it. Do they still throw you off the cliff?” “What?” “Huh, they got rid of that machine?” Cool Breeze frowned. “Well good riddance! I hated that thing. I’m still dizzy from it.” Lavender smacked her forehead. “Oh, you mean the Dizzitron. Yeah, that’s still there.” “Oh, I see,” Cool Breezed said with a grin. “Well, I’m sure that my best student from the Junior Flyers blew everypony out of the sky on that.” Lavender twiddled her hooves on the floor. “Actually, I was rather average on the Dizzitron.” “Well that’s okay; it’s a pretty difficult thing to get the hang of, if you ever do. What matters is that you straighten up as soon as you can. But that’s only part of everything you need to do. How did the evaluation go?” Lavender’s chest tightened. This was it, the moment of truth. ‘What was it Scootaloo said? Meet him halfway. Well here we go.’ Lavender took a deep breath to prepare for the worst. “Well…I passed and eeeep!” Suddenly, she felt her father’s hooves around her, having flown from the couch in surprising speed. “That’s wonderful!” Cool Breeze exclaimed. “I can’t tell you just how proud I am of you. I guess you need to go back in three days?” Lavender’s heart began racing. She knew she needed to tell him. She had to. But one look into her father’s grey eyes caused her words to falter. She hadn’t seen him this happy in a long time; not since…that terrible day. “Uh, yeah,” Lavender finally lied. “Pretty much.” “All right,” Cool Breeze stated. “Then we get to spend some time together. I have to work tomorrow, but after that is the weekend and I can see you off. How about we go out for dinner tonight and you can tell me all about it?” “Sounds great Dad,” Lavender smiled weakly. “Great, why don’t we get cleaned up? It’s been a long day for both of us.” “Okay.” With that, Cool Breeze walked down the hallway to the master bedroom. Soon Lavender could hear the faint hissing of the showerhead. She just sat there listening, her conscious gnawing at her. ‘Now what?’ > Guilt > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lavender tightened the straps to her saddlebags. It was a long way back to the Wonderbolt Academy and she didn’t want them slipping mid-flight. “Travel safely,” Cool Breeze said, giving his daughter one last hug before departing. “Say hi to my old captain for me.” “I will Dad,” Lavender replied, spreading her wings. “I’ll make you proud.” “I know you will.” With that Lavender took off, leaving her father waving on the street bellow. He was still grinning ear to ear until he disappeared into the vast expanse of the neighborhood. Lavender gathered her bearings and headed west. “I know they’re not expecting me,” Lavender said to herself. “Maybe I can just talk with Spitfire about the whole thing and she’ll let me back in. Yeah, that’ll work.” Finding comfort in that plan, Lavender pressed forward. She could soon see dark outline of Wonderbolt Mountain just beyond the shadow casted Unicorn Range and the skies growing black. “Wow. That was faster than I thought.” Lavender looked back at the sun, which was still in the eastern sky. “But then why is everything so dark?” As she got closer, Lavender could discern storm clouds blanketing the sky ahead of her. Strong winds began to push her back. Flapping harder, she fought against the winds, slowly making headway. The roar of distant thunder startled her, but she continued on. Suddenly, the headwind disappeared and Lavender could feel it blowing from behind—the sudden shift causing her to tumble in the air. She tried to steady herself just like the exercise on the Dizzitron, but then another wind hit from the side—pushing her deeper into the storm. They seemed blow from every angle, each just as hard as the last. Lavender couldn’t tell which way she was facing, or even which direction was up. All that existed was the darkness of the clouds, the howling winds, and the roaring thunder. She could also hear voices. Had somepony seen her? “HELP!” Lavender cried. “Get in there you PANSY!” “What?” Lavender said shakily as lightning flashed across the darkness—briefly showing a ghostly image of an orange pony’s head glaring at her with purple eyes. Lavender tried to look away. “You’re so uptight!” Another flash of lightning blazed across her showing the face of a yellow, brown-maned stallion. “No I’m not!” Lavender began flapping her wings as fast as she could just to get out. “You need to finish what you started!” A steel-blue face shouted. “I’m trying to!” Lavender began crying. Another flash showed a yellow head with a fire-like mane. “He went too soon!” “I’m sorry!” Lavender cried out. Lavender tried closing her eyes, but that didn’t stop her from seeing another flash of lightning and a face she couldn’t immediately recognize. “You’re such a b-” “AAAAAAAAGH!!” There was no escape, no way out. All Lavender could do was close her eyes and plug her ears, but that didn’t block the sound nor flashes of lightning. She was swept mercilessly away by the rough winds, and thunder beat down on her ears that she could barely hear anything else. She was about to meet her end in this storm, and nopony would even care. “ENOUGH!!!” Suddenly, the thunder stopped. Lavender opened her eyes. The dark mist was being sucked away in a spiral towards what she presumed to be the sky above. Once it was gone, she could see a tall, dark figure approaching her. As it got closer, Lavender could make out an indigo coat, starry mane, unmoving wings spread out, and a black tiara behind a unicorn horn. “Greetings, Lavender,” the pony said in a regal voice. It was the same voice that commanded the insults to stop just a few moments ago. “Princess Luna,” Lavender sighed in relief and bowed while still staying airborne. Then she realized something odd, “Princess, you’re not flapping your wings! You’ll fall!” Luna simply smiled and put a hoof on Lavender’s tense shoulder. “Relax, my little pony,” she said calmly. “We have no more need of flying, for you are dreaming. Though, if it makes you feel better, we can find a place to rest.” Luna lit her horn and a white cloud appeared. Unlike the raging black storm clouds, this one was soft and calm. Tucking her wings away, Lavender got on all four legs, feeling as though she was walking on a really soft and fluffy bed. “I’m dreaming?” Lavender waved her hoof around and could see the air ripple as she did so, much like tossing a pebble into a pond. “I knew those mushrooms tasted funny.” “I know not about what you consumed Lavender, but I don’t think that they are the source of your woes.” Lavender looked up into Luna’s sapphire eyes and asked, “How do you know about that?” Luna smiled. “As Princess of Equestria—and guardian of the night—it is my duty to watch over ponies as they sleep. Often times, they are in need of help; so I enter their dreams. This past week I have noticed that you were in a desperate struggle, but have been unable to help as you kept waking up too quickly.” “Sorry,” Lavender said, lowering her ears and looking away. “There’s no need to apologize.” Luna lifted Lavender’s head back up with a hoof. “The sleep-cycle is a delicate thing, and can be disrupted by the very slightest of touches at times. Even I have to tread carefully. What matters is that I am here now. So, what is it that ails you so?” Lavender hesitated for a moment, rubbing her leg, but Luna waited patiently with an inviting look on her face. Lavender finally relented. “Well, I was in the Wonderbolt Academy when I didn’t want to be. I was there for my dad’s sake, but I couldn’t stand it. I ended up finishing the week, but I can’t tell him that I won’t be going back. I even lied to him about it.” Luna nodded her head. “Yes, dishonesty often causes guilt—especially when we lie to those whom we love. However, I suspect that this isn’t the source of your feelings.” “What do you mean?” “If I am correct, this event has only just occurred recently—probably yesterday. You have been suffering for much longer then that and I intend to find out the cause.” Luna’s eyes went white and her horn lit up with an indigo aura around it. Suddenly, the cloud they were sitting on disappeared and the sky swirled with color. The fluffy cloud she was standing on became smooth and sturdier. As the colors settled, Lavender recognized her new surroundings, or rather her normal ones. She was back at home in the spotless living room. Even though she knew it was a dream it still felt real. She could even smell the same flowery scent of the cleaner she used when she came back from the Wonderbolt Academy. Then Lavender turned her head and did a double take. She was staring at herself being hugged by her dad. “I can’t tell you how proud I am of you. I guess you need to go back in three days?” Lavender watched the panic on the face of the image of herself—a look of panic that her father couldn’t see. “Uh, yeah…pretty much.” Lavender facehooved as those words rang out. “How could I have just lied to him like that?” “I don’t know,” Luna said beside her, causing Lavender to jump in surprise. “That is what we’re here to find out.” Lavender looked into at the princess’ sapphire eyes. “How did we get here?” “I looked into your memories,” Luna explained. “Dreams are inseparable from the mind, so I can access certain areas. I could sense something important about this recent memory and brought us here.” Lavender felt a chill run down her spine. “You know, that’s more than a little creepy.” “Perhaps,” Luna said as she looked around the apartment. “I do apologize for invading like this, but I assure you that I’m only doing this to help you…hmm, this is interesting.” She paused at the one picture on the wall that wasn’t entirely Wonderbolt related. Luna studied the picture that Lavender knew as the one that showed three ponies together. A smaller copy of it rested on her bedside cabinet. “This appears to be a family portrait,” Luna commented. “Back in my day, over a thousand years ago, these were done vary sparsely since it took so long to paint and were rather expensive—practically exclusive to royalty and a few aristocrats. But with today’s technology of instantly capturing images, you can do these more frequently and economically. So why isn’t there a more recent one?” “Because it’s the last picture I ever took with my mom,” Lavender said with a croak in her voice. “Oh,” Luna said simply before the pupils in her eyes went wide in sudden understanding. “Ooooh…I’m so sorry.” “It’s not your fault,” Lavender said, trying to wipe away the tears in her eyes. “It was y-years ago…b-before you came back.” Luna nodded. “So who was she, and what was she like?” “W-well, her name’s Cinnamon,” Lavender sniffed. “It’s hard to r-remember since I was so young then, but she always cared for me, would read me stories and I guess she always had something snarky to say to my dad. She also did a lot of baking—always with love, she would say. I-I was devastated the night dad came back from the hospital, saying that she…she wouldn’t be coming home. I never even got to say goodbye.” Lavender started sobbing entirely, causing Luna to draw her close with a wing. Lavender squirmed in her grip as she resisted for a moment, but then relented. Luna could feel her leg getting damp as Lavender wept into it. Luna also had some tears in her eyes. “So,” Lavender sniffed before resuming again. “So after that, Dad got a hardship discharge so he could look after me. He got a job as a gym teacher at a local high school and as an instructor at summer flight camp. He would take me with him nearly every year. I guess that’s how I got so good at flying, especially since he trained me so hard. He calls me his ‘Number One Flyer.’ “He also talked a lot about the Wonderbolts and everything that he was able to do. Grandpa was the same way. I heard countless stories from them. My dad also wanted me to join to, but I didn’t have the same passion he did. I still went. I figured it was the least I could do after everything that happened; after everything he did for me…after everything he gave up.” Lavender fell silent as she still clung to Luna’s leg. Luna pondered her words for a moment. “And that’s when everything that happened at the Wonderbolt Academy occurred, isn’t it?” Luna asked. Lavender simply nodded in the affirmative. “Scootaloo told me to meet my dad halfway by making it through the first week—which I did—but I don’t know how my dad would take it.” “The thing about compromise is that both parties involved need to know the issue in question before trying to resolve it,” Luna said. She then lifted Lavender’s head up and looked into her puffy, tear-soaked eyes. “Once, I let my jealousy get the better of me without consulting my dear sister about my anger with her and myself. She tried to talk to me about it, but I rejected her. You know the rest, but the point is that you need to confront this challenge. You must tell your father and work this out. He’s going to find out sooner or later.” Suddenly, the winds began to pick up again, though not in the same force they were before. The room seemed to blow away, leaving a blank expanse of nothingness. Lavender could also see the ripples in the air again. “I must go,” Luna said as she started rising in the air, leaving Lavender behind. Luna called out to her as she disappeared, “Fair thee well!” *** Lavender opened her eyes. She was lying in her bed in the dark room, yet she could still make out the dark outlines of the dust-free bedside cabinet and the picture on top of it. She reached out for it and held it up. In the dim light, she could see the faces of both her mother and father. She hugged the picture close to her chest and cried herself back to sleep. > Grief > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lavender woke up with the sun shining on her face. Groaning, she looked at the clock; 11:42. She slowly got out of the bed and stretched out her back and each of her legs. “How could I have slept in so late?” she moaned as she shook her head and groggily made her way to the kitchen. Cool Breeze was nowhere to be seen, but that didn’t surprise Lavender given the time of day. She grabbed some apples and bananas from the kitchen, cut them up and made a fruit salad for a belated breakfast. ‘I need to tell him,’ Lavender thought as her eyes drifted over to the family portrait on the wall. ‘But I can’t wait around here all day. I’ve already cleaned everything.’ The chirping of a robin drew her ears to the window. It was such a nice day outside. The sun was shining and the skies were clear. It was also still warm out as it was still technically summer. ‘I know. I’ll go to the park for a couple of hours.’ After cleaning her dirty dishes, brushing her teeth and making herself more presentable, she stepped out of the apartment door and trotted down towards the street. Maremount Park was Fillydelphia’s largest park, or rather a series of parks all throughout the city. Combined, it was far larger than Centrot Park in Manehattan, yet not as well known. It had just about everything you could imagine a park would have: trails, race tracks, playgrounds, meadows, tourist spots containing historical information, and so forth. There was certainly a lot one could do. After walking along one of the trails, Lavender decided to climb up a small grassy hill and rest beneath the shade of a willow tree. Through the long curtain of leafy branches that draped the tree, Lavender could see a small playground below. Several foals, not quite old enough for school, ran and jumped around the ground and the multi-colored play structure while being watched by parents, foalsitters, or other relatives. Some were sliding down the slide, others swung across bars in the jungle gym, went up and down on a see-saw, or just ran around having a good time. All of it brought back memories of when Lavender’s mother used to bring her to this very park. *** “Come on Lavender, you can do it,” a scarlet earth-pony called from the bottom of the slide. “But it’s so high,” a small purple pegasus filly wailed from the top of the slide. “And there’s icky mud down there!” It was the first sunny day after about a week of rain, and while the slide was dry, there was still a puddle on the ground below it. But it was sunny out, and Lavender wanted to go outside. Cinnamon tried to warn her about the mud, but she didn’t listen; now she wished she had. She wasn’t a strong flyer yet at her young age, so she could still splash into the icky ground. “Oh just go down already!” yelled a yellow colt behind Lavender. Lavender glared at the colt and his messy brown mane. “Shut up Lemon chop…Lemon chi…whatever your name is!” “Limoncello!” he growled. “Whatever!” At this moment, Cinnamon called back up to her. “Now you better stop that young lady, or you two might end up getting married one day.” Lavender and Limoncello both glanced at each other in horror and turned away, simultaneously crying, “Eeeeeew!” “Now come on down, darling,” Cinnamon said. “I promise you won’t hit the mud.” “You sure?” Lavender called back. “Yes.” “Okay.” Lavender gingerly put one hoof on the slanted surface, and then another. As soon as she lifted one of her hind legs, she slipped and started sliding down on her belly. She could feel the wind whip at her face and her whole body tingling as if she was falling. Lavender couldn’t help but squeal in delight. “WEEEEEeeeeeeee!” As Lavender got to the bottom of the slide, she felt something grab her sides and pick her up. The next thing she knew, she was being spun around in a circle with her mommy holding her. “WhooooaaaaWhooooaaaaWhooooaaaa,” Cinnamon cried while moving slowly to the grass at the edge of the playground. As soon as they reached the border, she fell down to the ground, gently placing her giggling daughter beside her. “Again!” Lavender shouted as she galloped back towards the slide. Several more times, Lavender went down the slide. Each time, Cinnamon caught her and carried her to the clean grass. Soon they were both tuckered out and it was time to go home. The little filly—who once had so much energy—was now draped over Cinnamon’s back as they slowly traveled down the path. “I love you, Mommy,” Lavender yawned as she closed her eyes. “I love you too, darling,” Cinnamon said as she nuzzled the little purple bundle on her back, causing it to giggle. Everything was perfect in Lavender’s young, naive mind. The world may have been big, but it was a wonderful place of joy and laughter. Even if something went bad, she always would have her mommy and occasionally her daddy. Nothing could put a damper on Lavender’s spirits while they were around. A few months after that, however, her mother had fallen gravely ill. Lavender could still remember how Cinnamon fell down one morning and couldn’t get up—no matter how hard she tried. She could still see the long walks down the clean hospital hallways behind her father in uniform as they approached one dark room on the far end. Most of all, she could still vividly remember the ragged sight of a mare who was hooked up to several strange machines. Her coat lost its sheen, was missing a few patches and her mane was in complete disarray. Yet, despite all that, Lavender approached the bedside. Then the mare in the bed would open her eyes. They were dull compared to their usual brightly colored brown, and looked very tired. But the mare smiled, extended a hoof and rubbed the side of the young filly’s face. “Hey,” she would say weakly, her voice croaking like a frog. “How’s my little one doing?” “Okay.” Lavender would always stare deeply into her mother’s eyes. It was the only part of her that she could bear looking at. “When are you coming home, Mommy?” “Soon,” Cinnamon would always say a little too quickly. “The doctors still need to look at some things, but I’ll be home soon.” At this point, Lavender’s dad would often start talking with Cinnamon. Lavender never really listened to these conversations. Instead she continued nuzzling her mother’s extended hoof as if clinging onto it for dear life. She dreaded the time where they would have to be separated again—more so than the trip to the hospital itself—but it had to be done. “I love you, Mommy,” Lavender would say as she was pulled out of the embrace. “I love you too, darling.” Lavender and her father would then return back to their apartment which—much like Lavender’s cheek—had grown cold and lonely. *** Lavender wiped the tears from her eyes. That was all years ago. Surely, she thought she should have moved on from all this by now. She should have forgotten everything. Yet she didn’t…couldn’t forget. It was too painful. Since the night her dad came bearing the terrible news of her mother’s passing, Lavender had grown distant. She let very few ponies close to her and even fewer to physically touch her. She had also taken up the habit of cleaning everything like her mother often showed her. Mother wouldn’t like a dirty house, and neither did Lavender. She got very good at it too—providing a way for her to cope with the pain and sorrow. Sighing, Lavender looked back towards the playground. It was empty now, a couple of swings swaying in the gentle breeze. She thought about going over there—to go down the slide one more time—but didn’t. She was likely too big for it now; and nopony would be at the bottom waiting to catch her. Lavender looked at the sun, which was getting pretty low in the sky. She had to have been laying there for hours, but it only felt like a few moments. Her dad had to have been home for a while now, probably wondering where she was since there really wasn’t anyplace for her to be. She had no current obligations to a job—and going back to the Wonderbolt Academy was out of the picture—but the prospect of dashing her father’s hopes seemed unbearable; yet it had to be done. ‘Well, I guess it’s now or never.’ Lavender gingerly got back on all fours—her legs aching after the extended period of disuse—and headed back home. > Shame > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lavender paused halfway up a flight of stairs in the apartment building—she refused to use the elevator. Every step felt heavier than the last, but not due to fatigue. She could have just flown up—it certainly would have been faster—but a part of her resisted facing what would at least be utter disappointment from her father. “I don’t know if I can do this,” Lavender muttered as she stared into the rectangular steps in front of her; one of them bore a small crack on the surface. She continued to stare at it while another distant memory came to the front of her mind. *** “You’re up Lavender!” A purple filly poked her head out from the top of a cloud pillar. Bellow her was an obstacle course that only the former Wonderbolt that was her father could design. There were hoops at varying heights, some clouds to avoid and some added wind. It didn’t have the large turbines or storm conditions that the Wonderbolts’ “famous air obstacle course” did, but it was certainly intimidating for a young pony. It didn’t help that her dad was coaching the flight camp class. “You’re not giving up on me now, are you?” Cool Breeze yelled up at her. Lavender’s muscles tensed and held her breath at the sound of those words. “No Dad!” “Good,” Cool Breeze shouted his approval. “You need to finish what you started. Now let’s move it!” Lavender gulped as she took one last look at the entirety of the obstacle course. ‘Okay, you can do this. Just go.’ Lavender spread out her little wings and leaped of the pillar, taking flight. Once she was airborne the course seemed to come naturally to her. She adjusted her flight path to go through the rings—even doing some loops around a couple of them. The wind blew her a little off course, but she managed to press forward and hit all of her marks and avoid the clouds. Soon, she was at the end of the course and landed besides her dad and the other colts and fillies that had already completed the course. A few of them clapped half-heartedly, but most just looked away as if she didn’t exist. “Twenty-five seconds,” Cool Breeze exclaimed as he ruffled Lavender’s mane with his hoof. “I knew I could count on my ‘Number One Flyer’ to get the best time. Just what I expect from a future Wonderbolt.” Lavender blushed as she saw even more angry glares from the faces of her peers. ‘Why does he have to do this to me?’ “All right, now everypony gets to go again,” Cool Breeze announced, immediately followed by a collective set of groans. *** Lavender turned her attention from the crack in the stair step to her cutie mark. It showed a flower with a cluster of violet and blue pedals at the top. She never felt any passion for being an elite flyer like her dad. It was more apparent to ever her since she got her cutie mark. No matter what her dad thought, it just wasn’t the mark for a Wonderbolt. Yet here she was, in the middle of the stairs—debating on finally confronting the pony who raised her. ‘We spent years working for this.’ ‘But you’re not happy with it.’ ‘I can’t just let him down.’ ‘But what will it prove?’ ‘He gave up everything because of me. It’s the only way to make up for all of it.’ ‘But you lied to him. He’s going to find out sooner or later.’ Lavender sighed and resumed walking up the stairs—those last words still echoing in her mind in a strangely regal tone. She soon reached the familiar sight of the front door to her dad’s apartment. Lavender paused for a moment to look at the doorknob, before sliding her key into it and open the door. At first, the apartment seemed empty despite the fact that the lights were on in the kitchen and dining area. Lavender could feel sweat on her brow as she slowly turned the corner towards the light. She found her father sitting at the table with his hooves pressed together as he leaned forward on it, facing the hallway. He wasn’t wearing his hat, so she could clearly see his maneline stop about halfway up his head. “Lavender, please sit down.” Cool Breeze motioned to the chair on the opposite side of him. His voice seemed calm, but Lavender recognized a tone of disappointment and confusion in it. Lavender took the empty seat at the table. She tried to look into her father’s eyes, but found it difficult to meet his gaze. Instead she looked down at the table in between them. There was an opened envelope on the table and a piece of paper. Glancing quickly at the enveloped showed the unmistakable seal of the Wonderbolts. Lavender’s heartbeat quickened. “What’s the meaning of this?” Cool Breeze slide the paper across the table. Lavender picked it up and began to read: Dear Cool Breeze, I know I probably should be calling you Lieutenant, but we’re friends and you’ve moved on to other things in your life. I’m pretty sure we can let this one slide since I’m not really talking about “official” Wonderbolt business. Anyways, I’d like to talk about your daughter. From what Soarin tells me, Lavender is quite the flyer and definitely takes after you. She even had a great performance at the end of initial training this past week. It was one of the better ones. I guess you really trained her well in that regard. But there is also something else very interesting that she get from you: following her heart. It’ll certainly be a shame not having her around to continue that legacy of yours, but everything has to end sometime I guess. I hope you’re not taking everything too hard, but I’m sure you’ll understand. You did the same thing for her after all. Your old friend and captain, Spitfire Lavender gulped. The one positive thing was that she didn’t really have to break the news to her father, but she now faced the daunting task of having to explain herself. Looking up into her father’s icy stare she feared that, somehow, this was going to be worse. “What did she mean by ‘not having her around?’ ” Cool Breeze was still frowning as he looked into Lavender’s eyes. “What aren’t you telling me?” A chill went down Lavender’s spine as her breathing became much more labored. There was no avoiding the issue anymore. She had to tell the truth, and it was going to hurt. “I…I quit the Wonderbolts,” Lavender finally said after heaving some more. Cool Breeze fell silent. The only thing that moved were his eyes getting wider at Lavender’s confession. There simply was no other way to put her words since that is exactly what she did, in a matter of speaking. Lavender could no longer bear to look into her father’s eyes; instead, she focused on the corner of the table. She could tell that her father was still processing her words, and dread threatened to overwhelm her. She wished he would just say something, anything; the silence was too much for her to handle. “You…quit?” Cool Breeze finally managed to ask. Lavender glanced back at him and could see lines creasing in his increasingly large forehead. She could tell that he was trying to reign in his anger, but Cool Breeze was failing to keep his composure. “How could you quit? I thought I taught you to always see things through to the end!” “I know,” Lavender whimpered. “It’s just…I can’t do this anymore.” “Do what?” Cool Breeze stood up and paced back and forth on his side of the table. “Be a Wonderbolt? You excelled every test at flight camp, trained throughout school and signed up for the academy. I thought that you wanted to be a Wonderbolt!” “But I didn’t want that; you did!” Lavender stood up and began shouting back, tears falling down her face. She pointed a hoof at her father, “You were the one who had me train nonstop and told me what future I could have as a Wonderbolt; a future you could never have! You never once asked me what I wanted!” “But you never said anything against it.” “Well, maybe you should have paid better attention!” Cool Breeze’s jaw dropped. “Paid better…I’m your father! I raised you! How could I not pay attention?” “Well you didn’t and the evidence is right there!” Lavender slapped her hoof on the letter. Cool Breeze glared at both the letter and Lavender. His nostrils flared as he breathed heavily. He struggled to say something as he looked at the young mare he thought to be dependable and diligent. He tried to calm down but his anger was getting the better of him. “I can’t…I just can’t,” he muttered. “I need to step out for a moment.” With that, he walked out of the dining area. Lavender heard the entrance door slam as her father left the apartment. “Well, I finally did it.” Lavender sat back down at the table, put her head into her forelegs and wept. > Humility > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cool Breeze stomped around the neighborhood of West Filly. He never could be angry in front of his wife or daughter, so he would always excuse himself in order to cool down. Granted, that had been more than a little problematic after his wife passed away and when Lavender was still pretty young, but that was years ago. Now here he was, struggling to comprehend the hole left in his concept of reality. “How could she just quit?” He muttered, heat still steaming out of his ears. “Why wouldn’t she want to be a Wonderbolt? What did I miss? Ow!” Cool Breeze didn’t notice the lamp post in front of him—being too distracted by his thoughts—and walked right into it. Holding a hoof to the sore spot, he shook his head in order to clear his vision. Despite some odd looks from other pedestrians, nopony really took notice and continued about their business. Once the world stopped spinning, Cool Breeze noticed he was near a building entitled The Salty Lemon. He sighed and pushed against the door. The café was rather busy this night, with nearly every table in the room being occupied, each with a drink and some with food and yet the bar itself was surprisingly empty of patrons. Some upbeat jazz music completely opposite to Cool Breeze’s mood was playing in the jukebox. Cool Breeze made his way over to the bar and sat on a stool. The yellow earth pony tending the bar looked up from the glass he was cleaning and his jaw dropped. “What happened?” Limoncello asked concerned. Cool Breeze looked up and realized that he forgot his hat at home, so the mark on his forehead was clearly visible—along with his partially bald head. “It’s nothing,” Cool Breeze sighed. “Just a slight disagreement with a pole. I’ll have a scotch on the rocks; make it a double.” Limoncello raised a skeptical eyebrow, “you sure about that?” “Yes, and it’s not a school night, so hop to it!” With a fury of motions, Limoncello grabbed the right sized glass, put ice and amber colored liquid into it, and put it in front of the blue pegasus. Cool Breeze took the glass and swallowed nearly half of it in one gulp before setting it back down again. He just stared off into space while Limoncello continued to stand behind the bar. “Listen,” Cool Breeze said suddenly, causing Limoncello to jump slightly. “You’re pretty close to my daughter, right?” Limoncello blushed slightly before answering in an awkward tone, “Yeah, you could say that.” “Tell me, what is your impression of her?” Limoncello’s face now went completely red, “What?” “What is she like?” Cool Breeze clarified. “What does she do around other ponies when I’m not around?” “W-well, I guess she’s a pretty strong and capable mare,” Limoncello explained. “She’s smart, temperamental, very determined and loves cleanliness-” “No, no, no!” Cool Breeze exclaimed. “I already know all that! I’m trying to figure out why she never told me about her feelings against being a Wonderbolt and then lie to me about the whole thing with the Academy.” ` Limoncello’s ears drooped, “Oh, she finally told you about that.” “Finally?” Cool Breeze parroted. “You mean she’s told you?” Limoncello nervously rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, she did. I didn’t know that she lied to you about the Academy though.” “Great!” Cool Breeze threw his hooves into the air. “She’ll confide in everypony else except me! What have I been doing wrong? What have I missed?” He leaned against the countertop and put a hoof to his forehead—still fuming over recent events. Limoncello stared at him for about a minute, unsure of what to say. He thought back to every moment he had with Lavender and everything she ever said to him: her feelings, frustrations and worries. Suddenly, he realized something and gathered up his courage to face the older stallion. “You want to know the truth about Lavender?” Limoncello asked as Cool Breeze looked back up. “The thing is that everything she has ever done was an effort to please you. The Wonderbolts, track, flight camp; all of it for you. She feels that she owes you so much that she is willing to sacrifice her own joy in order to keep you happy.” “She doesn’t owe me anything,” Cool Breeze argued. “But that’s how she feels!” Limoncello put his hoof down to emphasize his point. Cool Breeze snorted in frustration before draining his glass. None of this was making sense. Why would Lavender feel the need to sacrifice everything just for him? And why was it only now that she decided to make her opinions known? “Well, thank you for being honest,” Cool Breezed sighed. “I guess I better go, but first-” As he turned to reach for something, another realization came to him and groaned. “I forgot my wallet too!” Limoncello held up a hoof. “That’s okay, I’ll-” “NO! I know that you don’t charge my daughter, but I’ll have none of that for me!” “I was going to say that I’ll put it on a tab,” Limoncello explained. “Then you can come and pay me back by next week.” “Oh, thanks,” Cool Breeze said, embarrassed. “Well, I’m off to set things right.” Cool Breeze got up and walked out of the building. Limoncello watched him leave and turn the corner around the store. “Yeah,” he muttered. “I hope so—for Lavender’s sake.” *** Lavender stared into the kitchen counter that she had been scrubbing ever since her dad left the apartment. It was so clean that she could see her own reflection in the surface. She was a mess; her mane was completely disheveled, her eyes puffy and red and some snot dripping out of her muzzle that dripped onto the counter. Disgusted, she wiped the countertop clean again, but she wasn’t feeling any better. “That’s never a good sign,” a voice from behind her stated. Lavender turned to see her father standing in the entrance to the kitchen. She didn’t even hear him come in. Immediately she turned away as a new batch of tears flooded her eyes. “I’m s-sorry for yelling at you,” Lavender sobbed. “I know,” Cool Breeze said comfortingly as he got closer. “I just want to know why you haven’t been honest with me all this time? Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t want to be a Wonderbolt?” Lavender sat silently for a few moments, only letting out a few audible sniffles. Cool Breeze waited, standing only about a foot away from his daughter. He could hear the rustling of leaves outside, which was odd since it wasn’t windy when he was out. Finally, Lavender looked at his hooves. “I didn’t want to disappoint you,” she said. “But why would I be disappointed at you for telling the truth?” Cool Breeze asked. Lavender sniffed a couple of times and tears ran down her stained cheeks. “B-because you gave up everything…when Mom died…you gave up your position in the Wonderbolts…for me. Then you kept talking about them…I thought I needed to make up for everything I caused you after Mom left.” “So that’s what this is about,” Cool Breeze stated, finally understanding the issue. “Listen, what happened to Mom was a tragedy. I believe that she would’ve been much better at this sort of thing if she was still here, but that didn’t happen. And while I do miss being a Wonderbolt, I never once regretted my decision to leave. You needed me; and if I had to relive that moment, I would still do the same thing.” He lifted her chin up so they could look each other in the eyes. “Do you understand me?” Lavender nodded before bawling entirely. “I-I miss her so much!” Cool Breeze pulled her into a tight embrace and could feel Lavender’s tears dampen his shoulder. “I know, I know. I miss her too.” Tears started falling from his own eyes. “Not a day goes by where I don’t wish she was here. But we still have each other.” Lavender continued weeping as Cool Breeze stroked her mane. She was surprised that she had any tears left at this point, but they still came out strong and she didn’t hold them back. She felt relieved with every drop shed. Burdens that she had been carrying around for years were slowly being lifted away. Her father broke the silence between them, “Now, we just got to figure out what you’re going to do with your life.” “W-well,” Lavender hiccupped. “I could go into cleaning.” Cool Breeze suddenly tensed up and his grip got tighter. “What!? There’s no way my daughter’s going to be a janit-” He stopped as Lavender started weeping again. He relaxed his grip and spoke in a more soothing tone, “You know what? Let’s not worry about this right now and we’ll discuss it in the morning, okay?” “Okay,” Lavender responded. She opened her eyes and saw a flash of indigo light disappear from outside the window. A smile crept on her face for the first time since the previous day. *** High in the night sky over Fillydelphia, a sparkling trail of indigo magic morphed into a solid mass. The dark figure circled the city airspace for a moment before banking westward, towards Canterlot. Luna smiled. “Fair thee well, Lavender. Fair thee well.” > Joy > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lavender put her maid outfit into the washing machine after a hard day’s work. Several prominent families in Fillydelphia employed her to clean their mansions due to her reputation for being completely thorough. She had been doing this for over five years now; ever since she left the Wonderbolt Academy. She was happy: she had a job doing what she loved, was paid well, and… “Mommymommymommymommymommymommy!” A small colt came galloping in and ran circles through her legs. He was almost the spitting image of his father with a yellow coat. The only differences were that his mane and tail were a pale shade of yellow—verging on white—and he was a pegasus. Lavender tried to pin down the colt, but he was proving to be too fast and energetic for the exhausted mare to catch easily. Soon, the colt was too slow trying to run between her and the washing machine and she snatched him up and blew raspberries into his belly, causing him to squeal. “Gotcha,” Lavender said triumphantly before setting the colt back down. “Did Grandpa bring you home already Lemon Fresh.” “Yeah,” Lemon Fresh replied. “He’s on the couch and said that an ‘old geezer needs rest.’ What’s a geezer?” Lavender couldn’t help but smile at the scrunched up face on the young colt. His mouth was pursed shut, nose wrinkled and eyes slightly crossed. It was adorable. “It’s just something Grandpa likes to call himself these days,” Lavender explained. “Oh,” Lemon Fresh beamed. “Can we play now mommy?” “You mean you haven’t had enough playtime with Grandpa?” Lavender shook her head amused. “Not yet, Mommy needs to get cleaned up first.” “Awww,” Lemon Fresh moaned in disappointment. He immediately perked back up though. “Grandpa tells cool stories about the Wonderbolts. I can’t believe he was one! Do you think I’ll be a Wonderbolt?” Lavender nuzzled the colt, causing him to squeal. “Only if you want to be.” “YEAH!” Lemon Fresh cheered, escaped her grasp and ran out of the room before turning back for a second. “I love you Mommy.” Lavender chuckled as she walked down the hallway. She stopped in front of two pictures on the wall. One showed her and Limoncello holding their son a few months after he was born, and the other was a picture that used to be on her bedside table for several years her entire fillyhood. She looked deep into the brown eyes of the scarlet pony and put her hoof to the face behind the glass. “I love you too, darling,” Lavender said softly before turning away.