Twilight helps Rainbow Dash confront the difficult memories of her early life with Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash finds herself searching for help after an argument with Fluttershy reopens wounds from their past in Cloudsdale. As Twilight tries to help the two sort out the their issues, she finds herself falling deeper into the confusion.
Twilight Sparkle was lying in her loft, reading herself to sleep. The sound of rain pattering against her window was comforting, and the fire she’d lit a few hours previous was starting to die down a bit, its rhythmic crackling making it that much easier for her to doze off. Spike was at the foot of her bed, his blanket wrapped around his little body, snoring lightly. Twilight turned towards the baby dragon and kissed him on the head.
“Good night, Spike,” she said gingerly. As she started to lay her head down, she saw the still-open book out of the corner of her eye. “Though… I’m sure one more chapter wouldn’t hurt.” She shifted a bit in her bed and began reading again, falling back into the story with ease. The beast knew only that it did not belong in this cage. As it fought to liberate itself, the Royal Guard lowered their horns, preparing once again to trap the restless dragon. A pegasus in ceremonial attire walked into the room with his wings outstretched, displaying the countless honor seals on his cuirass.
“I know you can understand me, dragon! Though I know not your name, I can easily prosecute you for your crimes! Do not try to escape again, or I will move to have you banished like the Princess you sought to aid!” Captain Temperus walked closer to the dragon and stared deep into its onyx irises. “You have hatred in your heart. Though Princess Celestia thinks you may be rehabilitated, I foster no such hope. You are a wild beast, nothing more... incapable even of defending your actions.”
For the first time since his imprisonment, the dragon found his voice. “You… do not know my kind. You do not know… my heart, pony. But I… I can see yours. The fear in you cannot be hidden… not even by that pitiful armor.”
Temperus was taken aback. He continued to look the beast in the eye, but his wings betrayed him with a sudden flutter. He knew the dragon saw this display and folded them slowly against his side.
“Even so… do not doubt that each day may be your last.” With this, Temperus began to walk out of the room, his haughty demeanor noticeably deflated. The dragon saw the unicorns bow to their Captain as he left the room. He knew this was his opening. With a mighty sweep of his tail, the cage was shattered and he was free once again. “Tell your Princess that I will—
Twilight’s reading was interrupted by a loud crash of thunder just outside her house. She sat bolt upright in her bed, looking around to make sure everything in the library was still in order. She checked on Spike, hardly surprised that he’d slept through the racket. She stood up and looked out her window to try to figure out where the noise had come from. She heard three knocks at her door started to climb down to answer it. Before she could reach the door, however, it swung open. Twilight hesitated for a second, wondering who’d come to visit her at this hour. As if to answer her question, Rainbow Dash walked slowly into the library with her head bowed.
“What’s going on, Rainbow Dash? We weren’t scheduled to have a thunderstorm tonight. Did they change that at the last minute, or—”
“Twilight… I need your help,” Rainbow Dash said, her voice wavering a bit. As Twilight realized that her friend was crying, she quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around the soaked pegasus.
“What’s going on, Rainbow? Is something wrong?” Twilight cursed herself for asking such a stupid question. Rainbow Dash is crying. Of course something’s wrong. She led Dash over to the waning fire and threw another log into it. She tried to get her friend to look at her, but she was staring at the fire intently. After several minutes of silence, she slowly began to talk.
“I think… I think I may have really hurt Fluttershy…”
“Rainbow Dash, that’s not really anything to worry about…. You know how easy it is to hurt that filly’s feelings. She cries all the time…”
Rainbow Dash shot an angry glance at Twilight. “I know Fluttershy. I know when she’s upset. Don’t think I don’t know how easy it is to hurt her feelings. Twilight, when I left her house, she wasn’t crying. Have you ever even heard of her being so upset that she didn’t cry?”
Twilight looked at the floor, feeling admonished. “No, I can’t say I have…” Rainbow Dash looked back at the fire without expression. She closed her eyes for a second and scrunched up her face like she was trying to remember some long-forgotten fact. “Do you know anything about Cloudsdale? How it really is?”
“No, I don’t know a whole lot about it, other than what you and Fluttershy have told me.” Twilight glanced over to a nearby shelf and quickly located a book about the history of Cloudsdale that she’d been meaning to read. Somehow, I don’t think Dash would appreciate it if I started reading it now….
“Then… I guess I have to start from the beginning.”
***
Flight camp in Cloudsdale was tough. It was closer to a boot camp than a school. This is where the next generation of athletes, racers, and Royal Guard were chosen from. The work was hard and the coaches were beyond demanding. If anyone showed any sign of weakness, they were reminded of their failures. A lot of parents wouldn’t even send their children there for fear of their little ones dropping out. But some parents saw it as a method to toughen up a weak filly or unruly colt. Fluttershy’s parents were like that. They knew it would be difficult for her, but they knew she had potential. When I first met her about a year after I enrolled, she was a year ahead of me and a few ranks behind. Even her best efforts were just a few seconds too slow or a few hooves short of the finish. She told me that, at first, she wasn’t so quiet and she really tried. But eventually, she just gave up.
Everypony was constantly making fun of her. The instructors didn’t care; they told us if we didn’t measure up, everypony else had a right to pick on us. They called it “motivation.” I didn’t like it at all, but it worked for me. Every taunt, every nickname, every single glare was just one more reason to prove that they were wrong, that I was better than them. And eventually, I proved that I was right. But every time I succeeded, I saw Fluttershy in the back of the group crying. I hated seeing her like that. So I tried to talk to her. At first, she wouldn’t even look me in the eye. I kept talking to her, though, trying to give her some real encouragement. Even though she refused to talk to me, I knew she was starting to listen.
One day, there was a huge, school-wide race. I think I came in third. Fluttershy, on the other hand, was still flying after everypony else had finished. I came out of the shower with a couple of my classmates and saw the little filly still flying laps, but she wasn’t alone. I thought she’d finally made some friends. I flew up to the track to see who they were, but when I got there, I couldn’t even see her. She was flanked by the two colts who’d finished the race before me, and I could hear her crying between them. I asked them what the hay they were doing.
“Oh, nothing, Rainbow Crash! We’re just giving this little filly some help with the race!” I knew what they were up to, so I made sure there weren’t any instructors around and I bucked that smart-flanked colt right in the ribs. He fell straight through the track and his buddy flew down after him. I flew over to Fluttershy, who was just hovering there, a shivering little mess with her head almost to the ground. I didn’t say a word to her. I just flew under her and lifted her nose up with my tail. I looked back at her and saw her smile for the first time.
That night, we talked for hours about anything and everything. Towards the end of the night, though, she started bawling out of the blue. I tried to comfort her, but she didn’t seem to respond to anything. Eventually, she started to calm down a bit, just sobbing and breathing really heavy. I flat-out asked her what was wrong and she picked right back up crying. She looked over to me and choked back the tears for a second, just long enough to say, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend before…”
She started right back up. I flew over and laid my wing on her back. I nudged her with my snout and smiled at her. She gave the tiniest little smile back, and a few minutes later, she was asleep.
***
Twilight passed a cup of tea to Rainbow Dash. “You were Fluttershy’s first friend?”
“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said as she took the cup from Twilight. She’d finished crying and had regained most of her composure. “I didn’t know it either, until she told me.”
“I had no idea Cloudsdale was so… strict. Why didn’t you say anything about it while we were up there?”
Rainbow Dash looked into her cup. “They don’t like it when you talk about how the city really is. It’s actually pretty closed off.” She looked back up to Twilight. “It isn’t quite as nice as the stories everypony knows. I mean, they have to keep up appearances. All famous flyers came out of Cloudsdale. Sure, it’s harsh… but it works, you know? It’s just that some ponies aren’t cut out for it. For me, the whole city was kinda a symbol of everything I thought was wrong with the world. I did what I could to make sure the instructors knew that, too.”
Twilight lay back down in front of the fireplace. She knew that life was hard in Cloudsdale, but she didn’t know why any of this would be coming up after all this time. “So, do you think all of the bullying is what made Fluttershy so introverted?”
“Pfft— Naw, she was tougher stuff than that. I mean, yeah, she was still shy after we started talking, but it wasn’t like she gave up on ponies altogether. Things didn’t really start changing until everypony started hitting puberty. That’s when things started getting really weird.”
“Puberty? Why’d that change things?”
“Egh… I really hate talking about that kinda thing. I guess that’s where this whole thing started to go downhill, though…”
***
Around the fourth year in flight school, ponies started to get interested in romance. The way things were set up, though, it was hard for fillies and colts to see each other outside of class. The instructors didn’t like it when our little flings got distracting, so they laid down some rules when they thought we were ready to hear them. They insisted fillies stay away from colts and vice-versa, and we kept everything a bit hush-hush. Other than that, so long as nothing interfered with our performance, we were free to do whatever we wanted. It seems really weird that they’d promote filly-fooling, but I guess it was better than any of the students getting knocked up. That’d affect performance too much.
I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I really couldn’t keep the other fillies off of me after the first time I pulled off a Sonic Rainboom. I hated it. They always tried to tell me that there was nothing wrong with it, but I really didn’t care about that. I’m not sure why, but I was never really interested in any of the other fillies. ‘Course, it didn’t help that the instructors were promoting it. I still didn’t want to do anything more than what I had to. The instructors knew what I was up to, and they didn’t like it at all. Yeah, I was talented, but in their eyes, I wasn’t any better than Fluttershy.
That’s about the time Fluttershy really started to shut down. The other ponies were too caught up in their own little matters to make fun of her anymore, so I really didn’t have to defend her unless she screwed up really bad. Between me telling the other fillies to leave me alone and Fluttershy having no real rank, we ended up as our own little group. Everypony left us alone, and we ignored all of them. We talked a lot, though, so I wasn’t too worried about her.
One night, though, she came to me with a really weird look on her face. She looked scared and confused, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me everything she was feeling: queasy, nervous, scared of everypony and what they might think. I thought she was just getting sick or starting to feel stage fright again, but then she told me that she was afraid of one filly in particular. I’m pretty sure her name was Tiger Lilly. At first, I thought it was the sappiest thing in the world, but then I saw the bigger problem.
The way dating normally worked back in Cloudsdale was that if two ponies were making eyes for each other, the oldest one would say something about it and the younger one would either confirm the feelings or ignore it. Fluttershy was an exception to that rule. She was older than most of the other ponies there, but she was so far behind the rest of us that she was pretty much excluded from the social scene, dating included. I wanted to tell her what she was feeling, but I didn’t want to give her any false hope. So I just told her to ignore the feeling and it would go away. She looked really disappointed by my answer. I started to wonder if she wasn’t really talking about Tiger Lilly, but she didn’t bring it up again.
Eventually, ponies started to talk about us. They thought they were so clever, like they figured out why the great Rainbow Dash wasn’t taking a filly-friend. They were so sure I was secretly with Fluttershy, but nopony said anything to me. I didn’t know anything about it at the time, but I found out later that they were harassing Fluttershy about it. She didn’t say a single word to me about it, but I could tell something was wrong. She wouldn’t even look anypony in the eye anymore and I was the only one she’d ever talk too. It was always small talk, though. I thought we’d just run out of things to talk about, so I just kept talking to her about the little things, not really wanting anything to change. One day, that little punk I bucked in the ribs came up to us while we were talking over lunch.
“Oh, hey there Rainbow Crash,” he said. “How’re you and your little filly-friend doing?” He looked at me like he was the smartest thing to come out of Canterlot.
“What the hay do you think you’re talking about, you bumble-headed moron?” I asked. “Fluttershy’s my best friend!”
“Don’t try to hide it! Everypony knows you’re filly-fooling around with that little retard!”
I heard Fluttershy start to cry behind me. I stared the jerk right in the stupid face and spit in his eye. “You take that back right now! No one talks about my friend like that!” By that time, we were surrounded by everypony in the room. The instructors were even taking an interest, but they were slow to do anything about the crowd that was forming. That was dumb.
“You don’t even know who you’re messing with, do you? I’m not gonna take that from a little filly like you!” That guy was starting to get really mad, but I stood my ground. “What’re ya gonna do, Rainbow Crash? You gonna fight me?”
I gritted my teeth and stood up. “I’m not gonna fight you…”
He got that stupid little know-it-all look back on his face.
"...I'M GONNA KICK YOUR FLANK!"
By the time I finished my sentence, my hooves were planted in his wing and he was on the cloud crying like a baby. I bucked him while he was down and looked at our terrified audience.
“Anypony else wanna say something to Fluttershy?” They all took a step back as I looked around the circle, until I was looking right behind Fluttershy. I saw one of our instructors step closer to her and I realized just how deep the hole I’d just dug for myself was. I looked down at the crying colt at my feet. I saw how twisted his wing was and looked up in time to see the instructor was looking at the exact same thing.
“You just broke one of our best flyer’s wings, Rainbow Dash. What have you got to say for yourself?”
Right then, I gave up on that horrible place. “All I got to say is that he got what was coming to him, and if you want to stop me, I’ll do the same to you!”
He didn’t like that at all. In a split second, I was on the floor and he was staring me down with his wings stretched wide and his nostrils flared. “You will learn your place, you little foal,” he said through gritted teeth. “You will never make this mistake again.”
He looked around to each member of the crowd. “Let this foal be a lesson to you all! Love will make you do stupid things! Do not let it get the best of you!”
I lifted my head up slowly, ignoring the pounding in my head. “What do you know, you arrogant prick? I don’t love Fluttershy and I never will!” I kicked him in the shins and looked at the crowd. I knew something was up when there wasn’t a single pony looking at the instructor anymore. I tried to figure out why they weren’t, and I saw Fluttershy’s tail disappear over the edge of the cloud. I tried to fly after her, but the instructor caught me before I got out of his reach. I’d rather not talk about what happened next, but to give you an idea, I was expelled from the school before the end of the week.
***
“Hold on a second. Fluttershy had a crush on you? That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever—“
“Spike!” Twilight looked at the still-chuckling dragon, surprised to see that he was awake. “When did you even get up? “
“Are you kidding? I heard you making tea. Did you think I’d miss that?” Spike sat down between the two ponies. “Wait, you didn’t make me any?”
“I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash. What happened after that?”
Dash glanced at the door, then back to Twilight. “Actually, I think I’m gonna go home for the night. I guess I’ll tell you about it later…”
As Rainbow Dash walked back out into the rain, Twilight shot an angry glance at Spike.
“Thanks for the tea, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said as she closed the door behind her.
It’d almost been an entire week since the last time Twilight saw Rainbow Dash. The first few days, she hadn’t been too worried. She figured Dash just needed some time to cool off. But after five days had gone by with no sign of the pegasus, she began to worry. She asked around Ponyville to no avail; it was like Rainbow Dash had simply dropped off the map. All week, she’d been thinking about how—if – she should go about finding the mare. As much as she wanted to, she knew she’d never be able to; Dash was at home in the clouds, a locale altogether unknown to unicorns. Eventually, though, she thought of a way to find Dash—she’d have to talk to Fluttershy.
Oh come on, Twilight! You can do this, she thought to herself as she approached the secluded cottage. You come here all the time, right?
She slowly approached the door, preparing to open it. Inside, she heard a familiar sound. Fluttershy was inside crying. No, no, no, no, no, you cannot do this!
In spite of herself, she opened the door. “Hi, Fluttershy! How are you?” She very nearly facehooved herself as the words slipped out of her mouth. Her nerves were alight as she looked around, trying to locate her friend. “Fluttershy? Fluttershy, are you home? Fluttershy?!”
She heard the crying pick up a little bit. It was coming from upstairs. She started to climb to the second story apprehensively and heard Fluttershy shift in her bed.
“Go away, Twilight! I don’t want to talk to anypony right now!”
“Fluttershy, I can help you through this… I know what’s going on!” Twilight reached the master bedroom and opened the door. As she surveyed the room, she got the impression it’d never been lived in before. Where did Fluttershy sleep?
…this is Fluttershy’s house. Of course she doesn’t sleep in the master bedroom.
She sighed and continued down the hallway, opening the door to what would normally be considered the guest room. What she found inside was a bit troubling. Fluttershy was on her bed, wrapped tightly in a bathrobe. She looked up for a second, burying her face in her pillow the second she laid eyes on Twilight.
“I told you to go away… I’m sorry… please, Twilight?”
Twilight walked over to Fluttershy’s bed side and lifted the crying pony’s head off of the pillow. “C’mon, Fluttershy… I know what happened, and I want to help.”
“Oh, so now Rainbow Dash is just going around telling everypony about our personal lives? Isn’t that just wonderful. I’m sorry, Twilight… I just don’t want to deal with how insensitive she is any more…”
“Insensitive? She got kicked out of Cloudsdale for you. That’s one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard, even if it was a bit on the stupid side. And, yeah, she could have handled the whole cru—“
“Wait a second, Twilight. Do you even know what happened?”
“Of course… when you two were in flight school, you had a crush on her, and she wasn’t int—“
“She didn’t tell you!” Fluttershy looked a little bit relieved. “I knew she wouldn’t do something like that…”
“No, she didn’t tell me anything after that,” she quickly decided against admitting Rainbow Dash was in the process of finishing the story, “...but I think you should.”
Fluttershy stared at the floor and kicked at her sheets a little bit. “Oh, Twilight… I don’t think I can talk about something like that…”
“Fluttershy, you’re one of my closest friends… and Rainbow Dash is, too. If something’s coming between you two, I want to help you both.”
“You won’t leave until I tell you what happened, will you?”
“No, I won’t. So please, just tell me what happened after you and Rainbow Dash left Cloudsdale.”
“Alright, Twilight. I guess it can’t make things any worse…”
***
I didn’t know much about what happened to Rainbow Dash after I flew away from Cloudsdale. For a while, I just assumed she stayed up there. I knew she hated it, but I thought her parents would have made her stay. Either way, I didn’t want to know where she was. I was still upset, even though I moved all the way to Ponyville. It always felt like no matter how far I went I couldn’t escape that place. I managed to find some comfort in the animals around Ponyville. They needed my help, and I needed their company. For the first time in a while, I was really happy.
One day, when I was out shopping for Angel, I saw Rainbow Dash at the market. She was talking to the yellow-maned pegasus who delivered our mail, so she didn’t see me. I couldn’t think of what to say to her, so I tried to hide behind a newsstand until she went away. That didn’t last long. The owner thought I was trying to steal from him, so he pushed me out of my hiding spot—and right into Rainbow Dash.
“Hey, Fluttershy!” she said, “I’ve been looking all over for you! I just moved to Ponyville a few days ago, and Derpy told me that you lived outside town! Weird stuff, right? What’re the chances?”
“Heh… yep, that’s pretty odd, alright…”
“Hey, sorry about what happened in Cloudsdale, Fluttershy. You know I didn’t mean what I said, right?” Just then, my heart skipped a beat.
“Oh, um… of course, Rainbow Dash… I figured you were just mad…”
“Yeah, I was. Can you believe the nerve of some ponies? Thinking we were dating…”
And then my heart stopped altogether. “R-right… who’d get an idea like that?”
“Hey, maybe we should hang out some more later. I gotta finish clearing out the sky before it gets too dark. You know how they love to have the moon on display this time of year.”
“Yeah… I’ll see you around, Rainbow Dash…”
After she moved to Ponyville, I couldn’t really keep to myself very much. For a while, all she wanted to do was catch up. We talked a lot, then… I told her how I opened up a home for lost animals, and she told me about how she got a job with weather control. At first, I was surprised that she had a job like that until she told me about how she got expelled from Cloudsdale. I felt absolutely horrible. I tried to make it up to her, but she wouldn’t have any of it. All she would say is that she hated the place anyway and was glad she got expelled.
I wasn’t sure at first, but eventually I could tell she really was happy in Ponyville. She introduced me to Rarity, who introduced us to Pinkie Pie, who introduced us to Applejack… eventually, we were all acquainted, but I never really got to know the other ponies until you came along, Twilight. It’s like we were just waiting here for you to bring us all together.
When you finally got moved in and all of us started spending time together, I guess I started coming out of my shell a little bit. The more we learned about friendship, the more confident I got. I felt so strong when I was with all of you, but when I was alone with Rainbow Dash, I would always get overwhelmed with the feeling that I didn’t quite measure up. Maybe it was Cloudsdale that did it to me; maybe she was just too much for me. Either way, I could never manage to tell her how I really felt. I started to forget about those feelings, and got comfortable with the way things were.
A few weeks ago, though, that changed. I was trying my hardest to cheer for Rainbow Dash before the competition in Cloudsdale, and I was watching her practice. I followed her every move. She had so much power, so much control… and even though she’d never admit it, so much grace. And then, all of those old feelings came rushing back to me. I remember how I felt about her as a filly. I remembered what I loved about her. That moment, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to tell her that what I felt in Cloudsdale was real. But how could I?
Eventually, I decided I’d have to just say it like it was… subtlety hadn’t really helped me much in the past. I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship, but I didn’t know how much longer I could keep hiding from her. So I found her after she was finished with work and asked her if she’d walk me back to my cottage.
“Sure,” she said. “It’s been a while since the last time we hung out.”
When we set off, I tried to act normal, but my body wouldn’t let me. I was stiff and my stomach was in knots. Rainbow Dash must have noticed, because she bumped into me and smiled a little bit.
“Lighten up, Fluttershy. It’s a nice day, isn’t it?”
“It really is,” I said back. I knew this was the moment. “Rainbow Dash, do you ever think about Cloudsdale? About… us?”
Rainbow Dash stopped short and stared at me blankly. “C’mon, Fluttershy. You’re not still worried about a silly little crush, are you?”
“Oh, so that’s what you think this is? A silly little crush?” I started to storm off back to my cottage.
“But Fluttershy…!”
“Forget about it, Dash.”
“Fluttershy… don’t walk away from me like that! Come back!”
I clenched my teeth and tapped into what little courage I had left. “No.”
And then I left.
***
Twilight was well and truly speechless. This is not the Fluttershy I know, she thought to herself.
“Oh, Twilight… do you think I did something wrong?”
Twilight shook her head. She was still trying to process the sudden change in her friend. “No, I think you did the right thing. You told her how you felt. That was the only thing you could have done, right?”
“If I’d just stayed quiet, none of this would have happened, though. If only I could have held back my emotions, just a little bit…”
“Fluttershy, you did the right thing. It’s not healthy to keep everything bottled up inside you. Right now, I’m just trying to figure out how to fix this whole situation.” Twilight shook her head gently, trying to shrug off the overwhelming feeling of helplessness washing over her. She remembered what she came to Fluttershy’s house for originally. “Well, before we can do anything, we need to find Rainbow Dash. I haven’t seen her since she came to me that night, and I’m starting to get worried.”
“Oh, my… she’s missing?” Fluttershy’s expressiveness was deadened by a week’s worth of crying, but Twilight saw the worry behind her teal eyes.
“Don’t worry, Fluttershy,” Twilight said quickly. “We’ll find her. How far away could she have gotten?” Twilight repeated that sentiment to herself, trying desperately to believe it herself. She glanced out Fluttershy’s window, seeing the rolling expanse that was Equestria. In a week’s time, that pony could be anywhere in the entire world. “…how far could she have gotten…?”
Twilight and Fluttershy began searching for the missing pegasus wordlessly. The awkward aura between the two seemed thick enough to cut with a knife, and neither was willing to do anything about it. Twilight had delved deeper into her friends’ minds than she ever cared to, and Fluttershy couldn’t even begin to consider what Twilight thought of her romantic life. She felt her chest tighten and her eyes begin to water.
Oh, why did I have to hold on to such a stupid little crush? Rainbow Dash is my best friend, not my girlfriend… What are the chances that someone that strong would be interested in a weak little filly like me? What do I have? Nothing… that’s what they’ve always told me… there’s a reason I live with animals… I’m one of them, aren’t I?
Twilight glanced over at her companion, noticing the tears under her teal eyes. She looked away quickly, hoping Fluttershy hadn’t noticed. She closed her eyes for a moment, sending out a magical beacon to try to locate Rainbow Dash. Before the signal could bounce back to her, however, she heard an unfamiliar voice in the back of her head. Useless… even if… find her— The voice was faint, but Twilight recognized it as Fluttershy’s. She realized with a start that she was reading her friend’s thoughts. She began to try to push the presence out of her mind, but her curiosity got the best of her.
--my little animal friends will keep me company, though… even after Dashie tells me that it was never meant to be… and you know, maybe she’ll be right… she’s at home in the clouds… I’d just hold her back, wouldn’t I? She’d never be happy if she had to live on the ground… and I don’t even know if I could try to live up there… it’s so… scary up there. But… they always say that love conquers all boundaries… what if we did end up together? We could be happy, couldn’t we? She could protect me from all of the things I’m afraid of… and I would look after her, make sure she had someone to talk to, someone to keep her from being so alone… like she is right now… Together… together, we could do great things, couldn’t we? Great things…
As the image of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy kissing entered Twilight’s head, she felt her face flush red and her ears burn. Fluttershy noticed the sudden change and hid her eyes behind her bangs.
Did Twilight see that? Can she… hear me? No, Fluttershy, that’s not possible. Right?
Twilight panicked, trying desperately to hide the fact that she could indeed hear her. Thinking quickly, Twilight tried her best to imitate her friend’s inner voice. No, of course not. And even if she could do something like that, she never would, right? Even as she thought it, she felt a heavy pang of guilt. I… am a terrible pony, she thought to herself. That was a bad idea on every level.
Twilight risked a glance at Fluttershy, seeing relief settle over her face for a second. Twilight sent out another ping, this time more careful to not pick up anypony’s stray thoughts. To her surprise, she felt a faint reply, coming from the general direction of Rainbow Dash’s house. Why would she still be there? Twilight thought. Well, maybe she’s not trying to hide. She looked over at Fluttershy. “I think I may have found her.”
“Really? That’s great news!”
Twilight shook her head. “Not really… she’s in her house, and there’s no way for me to get up there. You’re going to have to go in.”
Fluttershy pawed at the ground a little bit. “But can’t you just fly up there in your balloon, like you did when we went to Cloudsdale?”
“Nope… Pinkie’s borrowing it for Blossomforth’s birthday.”
“How about the spell that gives you wings? That would get you at least up to her window…”
“Fluttershy, that’s a really difficult spell, and I’m still exhausted from searching for the past week.”
“But, um… couldn’t you just—“
“Fluttershy, you’re going to have to go in.”
Fluttershy started to object, but accepted there weren’t any other options. She hung her head and took a deep breath. “I guess you’re right,” she said with a sigh. She looked up at the house of clouds, deathly afraid of the pony she’d have to face inside. For so long, she’d wanted to profess her love for Rainbow Dash, but she continually failed to really consider how she would react if the object of her affection rejected her. It’s true, she’d always felt it was doomed from the start, but part of her held on to the hope that Dash would embrace the idea of them being together. Now, after she’d been shot down, she had to face reality. She had to face Rainbow Dash. Without a word to Twilight, she began to fly to the front door of her friend’s house.
“Good luck, Fluttershy,” Twilight said as Fluttershy disappeared into the clouds. Now to actually find Rainbow…
***
Twilight realized after she read Fluttershy’s mind that the poor girl wouldn’t be any real help in the search for the missing pegasus. Yes, she was capable of searching the sky, but she’d never be able to catch up to Equestria’s fastest flyer. Even if she did, Twilight doubted she’d know what to say when she found her. Twilight was sure Fluttershy would just shut down in the face of her heart’s desire. For the time being, she was alone, but she was certain she would succeed.
It was true, she had felt a weak signal from the direction of Rainbow Dash’s house, but she knew the pony wasn’t there. She suspected Dash was in Cloudsdale; the city was in the same general direction, but the distance between Ponyville and the cloud-city better explained how weak the signal was. Twilight walked past Dash’s house and sent out another more powerful ping to test her theory. As Dash’s signal was returned, Twilight was hit with a flash of regret. The signal had actually come from Rainbow Dash’s house. She’d accidentally told the truth.
She started to call out after Fluttershy, but thought that this just might be what was meant to happen all along. After all, this was their conflict, and everything she’d tried to do hadn’t helped at all… in fact, she feared she may have made the situation worse. At this point, all she could do was hope that Rainbow Dash would let Fluttershy down easy. She couldn’t see this whole situation ending any differently. She tried to think of what she could do to help the poor filly afterwards, and headed off to Fluttershy’s house. If she couldn’t do anything to help them now, she could at least be there for Fluttershy to pick up the pieces after the whole ordeal was done.
Rainbow Dash… don’t hurt her too much…
***
Twilight was lying in Fluttershy’s living room, petting one of Fluttershy’s ferret friends. She had her eyes closed, but was too nervous to sleep. She’d been waiting for what felt like ages, but when she looked at the clock, only two hours had passed. She closed her eyes again and laid her head down, wondering why she was so worried. Fluttershy would be home soon, and when she arrived, Twilight would have her work cut out for her. She began to nod off a bit when she heard a voice approaching the cottage—no, two voices. She listened closely, trying to catch the conversation.
“I’m so so so so so so so so sorry, Rainbow Dash…” The voice was Fluttershy’s, but she seemed to be faring better than Twilight expected. “Oh, I hope it’s not broken…”
“It’s not, Fluttershy. I know a broken wing,” Dash said in reply. “This is just a sprain. Anyway, don’t be sorry, I told you to do it, didn’t I?”
“I guess… but still… I never thought I’d ever hurt anypony…”
The two were almost at the door now, and Twilight could tell one of them was walking with a slight limp. “Fluttershy, it’s fine. Yeah, I didn’t think you’d actually do it, but I’m glad you did.” They stopped for a moment outside the door. “Hey, before we go in… do you wanna—“
“Oh, um… sure… it might be awkward for my friends in there…” As soon as she said it, she was silenced. Twilight couldn’t be sure, but she suspected she knew what’d just happened. Fluttershy, you don’t know the half of it… She blushed again and tried her best to pretend she was asleep as the door to Fluttershy’s cottage opened.
“Twilight? What’re you doing here?”
“Quiet, Rainbow Dash… I think she’s asleep.”
Twilight pretended to stir a little bit before lifting her head up and opening her eyes in the groggiest fashion she could muster. “Oh… hey, you two. What’s up?”
“Pffft—Twilight, your face is bright red. What were you dreaming about?”
“Oh, nothing… just…” Twilight noticed that Rainbow Dash’s wing was outstretched over Fluttershy’s back. “What happened to you?”
“Um… yeah. About that…” Rainbow’s face flushed red for a second before Fluttershy took over and answered.
“That was my fault, Twilight… I think I sprained her wing…”
Twilight cocked her head to the side, still not sure what to make of the situation. “So… what happened up there?” Neither said a word at first, but Fluttershy started to speak after a moment’s pause. “Well, when I went into her house…” Rainbow Dash stopped her. “Don’t you think my part of the story should come first? I’m pretty sure Twilight’s wondering why I was gone for a week…”
“Oh, yeah… of course. Why don’t you go first, then?”
“Right…” Rainbow Dash shifted nervously, cringing as she twisted her wing uncomfortably. “Well, after I left your house that night…”
***
I went home to try to get some sleep. No matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to get comfortable. I thought it was just my bed or something at first, but after a while, I knew what I was feeling. I felt like the day wasn’t over, like I still had something to finish. I ran through a list of things I normally did, but I couldn’t really think of anything. I forced myself to go to sleep, but when I woke up in the morning, I felt even worse. I walked outside my door and looked up to the sky. It was surprisingly bright and clear, especially considering how horrible it was the night before. Then, I saw it off in the distance, like it was calling out to me… a bright white spot in the sky. I saw Cloudsdale, and I knew that’s where I had to go. I didn’t have a clue why I wanted to go back to that place, but hey… you want what you want, right?
I started to fly to the city, and I started to think of how things were. Before I talked to you about it, I’d kinda pushed Cloudsdale out of my mind… or at least to the back of it. Now that I was older… now that I knew what the rest of the world was like, now that I knew what Cloudsdale did to ponies, I knew I’d have to go there and see if it was the place I remembered. If spending my childhood there made me what I am today, something needed to change. And then I looked past me. What had Cloudsdale done to Fluttershy?
Fluttershy... what had Cloudsdale done to Fluttershy? I thought of who she was when I met her… the quiet, hopeful little filly who tried so hard to make it. I missed her. When I thought about who she was before, I realized that Cloudsdale had almost erased that side of her, that the ponies there had almost completely changed my oldest friend. I hated thinking about it like that, so I tried to push those thoughts out of my head, but the harder I tried, the more it hurt to think about. By the time I actually reached Cloudsdale, I was pretty mad. I stormed into the training grounds, ready to make some instructors pay. When I got there, though, I didn’t recognize any of them. I looked at the foals, trying to see the oppression hiding under their faces. As hard as I looked, all I saw were normal fillies and colts, working for no other reason than wanting to succeed.
I really didn’t know what to think about it. Did they see me coming? Were they putting up a front? I walked up to one of the instructors and sized him up. He looked honest enough.
“Hey. I used to come here as a filly… things seem to be different now. What’s up with that?”
“Oh, yes. Things are… quite a bit different nowadays,” he looked around over his shoulder and leaned in and started to whisper to me. “There was an incident about seven years ago. A little filly was so frustrated with living here that she snapped and broke a colt’s wing!”
“That’s… terrible…” I said slowly.
“And that’s not all. Turns out that little colt’s family had some connections with the Princess. They told her what was going on. Celestia was furious. She came to Cloudsdale herself and gave the instructors a piece of her mind. Six months later, almost everypony involved was fired and the whole school was restructured. It’s too bad, though… in all the confusion, the filly that started the whole thing was pretty much lost, along with another student she was friends with.” I didn’t know what to say. I was the incident that changed the place, and I didn’t even know it. Part of me was glad, yeah, but another part of me couldn’t stop thinking about what could have been.
“You know what, though? Those fillies must have really had some connection to run off together like that.”
“Yeah… they must have…”
***
“I spent a few days after that in Cloudsdale. Yeah, it was a pretty little story, but I wanted to make sure it was true, you know? Turns out, things had actually changed…”
Rainbow Dash seemed to drift off for a bit at this. Twilight looked at her expectantly, but Fluttershy was the one who picked up the conversation.
“After that, she came home and found out she missed a lot of work. She’s been working overtime for a while… that’s why you haven’t seen her, Twilight.”
Rainbow looked at Twilight regretfully. “I really did mean to come check in with you, but things have just been so hectic lately…”
Twilight shook her head. “Don’t apologize, Dash. I know how things can be.” She drew her attention back to Rainbow’s injured wing. “So… what happened there?”
Fluttershy blushed. “That was my fault…”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “You can’t take all the credit for that, Fluttershy. I asked for it, didn’t I?”
“That doesn’t keep me from feeling just terrible about it…” She looked at Twilight and saw the confused look on her face. “Do you mind if I tell her what happened, Dashie?”
Twilight braced herself for the coming fury. No one called Rainbow Dash ‘Dashie’ to her face and got away with it. Strangely, it didn’t come. “Go ahead, Fluttershy. I’m tired of talking anyway.”
“Well, Twilight… after you told me Dashie was in her house, I didn’t really know what to do… so I just flew up and walked in…”
***
I looked around for a little bit, trying to figure out how the house worked. It was just so big, so unfamiliar. I wanted to call out to Dash to find her, but I thought she was trying to hide from us, so I just walked around for a bit. Being a cloud house is… a little bit scary. I know I’m a pegasus, but I’m just so afraid that I’ll fall through the floor. Anyway, I found the stairs and climbed up to Rainbow’s bedroom. I was a bit surprised to see her sprawled out there.
“Rainbow Dash, you’re really bad at hiding…”
Dash jolted up and looked at me. “Fluttershy… what’re you doing here? Aren’t you… scared?”
I was still a little sore about the whole situation, so I ignored her. “Come on… Twilight’s looking for you…”
“Fluttershy… I’ve been thinking…”
I still wasn’t ready to hear anything she had to say. “Well, we know some things can change…”
Dash looked at me. I was expecting anger... but all I saw was regret. “Fluttershy, please… I went to Cloudsdale… I had some time to myself, ya know? I was thinking about what you said. I’m sorry I was so quick to brush you off back there.”
I didn’t want to show it, but she had my attention. “And…?”
“Maybe… maybe we should give it a chance. I mean, I don’t know the first thing about relationships, but maybe it’s not such a bad idea…” She stood up and walked closer to me.
“That… that doesn’t change the fact that you were so…” I tried to think of the best way to say it. “…so mean to me.” I’m not very good at being angry.
“I know, Fluttershy… I was a jerk. If you think it’ll make you feel better, I’ll let you take a free shot at me…” I didn’t say anything to her, so she took a step closer. “Come on, Fluttershy,” she turned to the side and flittered her wing a little bit. “Right here.”
“Rainbow…” I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth.
I heard her take another step forward. She must have been pretty close to me. “C’mon, Fluttershy… you know you want to…”
Right then, in my head, I realized she was right. I didn’t even think about it; I just turned and kicked with all the strength I could muster. I heard her fall against the plush floor and felt a flash of relief cross my mind. I realized what I’d just done and turned around to see her curled up on the floor. I ran over to her, trying to help her up.
She didn’t seem to be able to move at first, but after a second she looked up at me, smiling through the tears in her eyes. “…holy buck, Fluttershy… nice shot.”
I couldn’t help but smile back as I helped her up. “Oh, Rainbow… I’m so sorry…”
“It’s fine, Fluttershy. It just hurts… a lot. Do you feel any better?”
I didn’t want to tell the truth, but I knew she’d want to hear it. “Bunches...”
“Have you thought about what I said?”
“I don’t think anything would make me happier.” I looked at her wing. “But what are we going to do about that? Do you think you can fly?”
Dash tried to flex it a little bit and cringed. “Definitely not. Do you think I might, uh… be able to stay at your place until this heals up?”
“Sure thing, Dashie…” Right after I said it, I hid my head. “S-sorry, Rainbow Dash… I d-didn’t mean to say that…”
She looked a little annoyed for a second but couldn’t hide a little smile. “I might let you get away with saying it.”
I blushed a little and looked at the floor. “So, um… we should probably gather your things and get going…”
Dash cocked her head to the side. “You think I have ‘things’? C’mon, Fluttershy, get with the picture. Let’s get going.”
She started to walk out the door, but I just stood there for a second. Did that really just happen, or am I daydreaming again?
“Fluttershy, if you want this relationship to go anywhere, you’re gonna have to help me find a way to get to your place,” Dash called out teasingly.
I guess it actually happened.
***
“On the way back, she told me all about what happened at Cloudsdale. I was so happy I could hardly stop talking about it…”
Dash looked at Twilight with a hint of irritation. “She really couldn’t. You don’t even want to know what I had to do to get her to shut up…”
Twilight and Fluttershy simultaneously flushed red. Rainbow Dash looked at them both. “It wasn’t that bad. Jeez.”
Twilight picked herself up and stretched. “Well, now that this whole business is settled, I think I’m going to go home and study up a bit. Do you two mind if I write a letter to Princess Celestia about all this?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged and looked at Fluttershy expectantly. Fluttershy kicked a hoof and looked at the floor. “As long as it’s okay with you,” Fluttershy said quietly.
“Go ahead, Twilight. I guess everypony’s gonna find out eventually anyway.”
Twilight started to walk out the door. As she left, she turned around to see the two talking as Fluttershy bound Dash’s injured wing.
If this is really the end, why do I feel so anxious? Twilight walked back to her library slowly, trying to figure out how she would possibly explain the whole situation to the Princess.
Twilight balled up the paper and threw it in her trash bin. It’d been four days since Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy started dating and she didn’t know where to begin. She knew this whole situation was important, but had she even learned anything? How should she even start the letter? This wasn’t the type of thing normal ponies had to deal with at all. Twilight had never really thought about dating at all, let alone have to deal with two friends coming to terms with whatever feelings they had for each other. Yeah, she thought she learned something from the whole situation, but what?
She leaned back onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. Maybe I learned that you can find love where you least expect it, she thought desperately. No, that’s so… generic. She buried her face in her pillow and breathed deeply into it.
What did I learn?! She lifted her head and stared at the wall, realization passing over her face. What if I didn’t learn anything? Even as she thought it, she quashed the idea. Even if she didn’t learn anything, she’d still force herself to take something from the whole situation. Well, if I didn’t learn anything directly, maybe I could learn something from Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.
She thought about the first time she’d seen them together after she left Fluttershy’s house. They were in the market eating lunch. Even though she was watching them from a distance, she could tell things were still a bit awkward for the two of them. Dash was obviously self-conscious, giving everypony who looked at them a threatening glare, and Fluttershy was hiding her head. She didn’t seem to appreciate the attention Dash’s paranoia was gathering, but she was obviously trying to get her friend-- no, her filly-friend-- to calm down. Every time she looked back at Rainbow Dash, she tried to strike up some conversation. Dash seemed to focus for a second each time before she noticed someone else taking interest in them. Poor thing still didn’t understand how relationships were supposed to work.
Twilight considered the two of them together. How was their relationship supposed to get anywhere? Neither of them had ever thought about what would happen if they were together. Fluttershy was so focused on getting the words out that she hardly thought of what would happen afterwards, and Twilight was still sure Rainbow Dash wasn’t even a filly-fooler. For all she knew, Dash didn’t even have a sexual orientation. Twilight still had some hope that they’d figure it out some time, though.
…maybe it’d be better if they didn’t. The thought surprised Twilight. Why wouldn’t I want them to be happy? …well, what if they aren’t?
The thought weighed heavily on Twilight’s mind. What if they aren’t happy? That would mean the whole relationship was for naught. That would mean everything she’d worked for was worthless. It would mean poor Fluttershy would be an absolute mess. She wouldn’t let her down again. She still wanted to make up for lying to her, though she had to admit it’d all worked out in the end. She still dreaded seeing the mare crying. Somehow, knowing Fluttershy wasn’t always so defeatist made seeing her in tears that much harder to take. She closed her eyes, trying to shake the growing suspicion that she was getting more attached to her friend than she should be.
Enough, she thought to herself. I need to focus.
She looked at the table she was propped against and summoned up yet another roll of parchment. This time, she’d get it right.
Dear Princess Celestia,
This week, I learned that friendship sometimes changes. Even though you’ve known someone for a very long time, there are always new things to learn about the ponies you spend your time with. Sometimes, it’s hard to face these facts whenever they come up, especially after they’ve been buried under doubt and years of painful memories. Today, two of my friends learned this lesson the hard way. Though it was it was hard for all of us involved, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were able to sort out some deep-seated issues from their past and come to terms with what they felt for each other.
Twilight squinted, trying to figure out how to end the report. She had a good beginning, yes, but the words seemed to end there. She briefly considered ending it right there, but decided to go to her friends to help. Awkward as it was, they were two ponies best qualified to talk about their relationship.
Unsure what she was going to ask them, she headed towards Fluttershy’s house, hoping they were there.
***
Twilight stood outside Fluttershy’s cottage, severely apprehensive. Well, if she didn’t do it now, she never would. She knocked on the door and called out, trying to figure out if anypony was home. There was no response. She waited a few seconds and knocked again.
Oh, no… what if things went south? Twilight remembered the pitiful sight of Fluttershy in her room bawling and knew that she had to go in to make sure everything was alright. She opened the door slowly, scanning the room as the door revealed it. For some reason, things seemed off. Twilight looked around, trying desperately to figure out what was different. All of Fluttershy’s furniture was all in order, her sparse decorations were still as they’d always been, her pictures were still above the mantle… but as Twilight looked at everything that was still there, she realized what wasn’t. There wasn’t a single animal in the entire room. Something was definitely up. Twilight gingerly walked around the first floor, peeping in every mouse hole and under all of the furniture, not finding any trace of life. The tension was palpable as Twilight gently climbed the steps to the second floor of the cottage. As she inched down the upstairs hallway, she heard the first signs of life since she’d been there.
The door of the master bedroom was closed, but Twilight could tell the sound was coming from behind the door. She realized what it was with a start: heavy breathing.
Fluttershy… are you hurt? Crying…?
With a little more urgency, she walked towards the door and prepared to open it when she heard something else.
“Oh… oh…! Oh! My…”
Realizing what she’d walked in on, she stormed out of the house blushing furiously. She reached the library and opened the unfinished letter, quickly and angrily scrawling a final line before throwing it at Spike to be sent.
