> The sting of sadness > by FelixVerricht > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Winter Winds > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Winter Winds A time for warming the hearts of those closest to you. This is a story of myself. My name is Felix Verricht; I dwell in Brisbane in Australia, and this will be a journal detailing the events of my life and more specifically those of the last year. The ones you would really want to know about. "Snow." I said out loud to no one in particular. This thought has plagued my mine ever since I was a little child: the one simple desire of my heart. This sort of thing happened on a regular basis. I'd be sitting on my bed using my computer and I'd just stop look out the window and start to ponder any manner of things. One of the recurring ones was my desire for snow. Some people desired wealth or fame or beauty but I wanted to see snow. But that would have to wait and I'll get to see it soon enough. My life isn't bad by any means, but the best way to describe it would probably be lonely. I have plenty of friends but no true friends if that makes any sense. I can share a laugh with my friends and I enjoy making them smile whenever I can, but I've never shed a tear with one, shared my true feelings with one, or had an emotional talk with one. I enjoy their company but most of the time our time together is only skin deep. I know none of their fears or insecurities. They share nothing with me. This is what has caused this mask of mine. I put on this false persona whenever I get to school to make it seem like there is nothing wrong. Yet I feel that no one will ever know the true me. But as unlikely as it seems there is one thing helping me, removing this false mask to help me share myself, as trust is a two way street. I would never lie to any of them but they don't seem to trust me either way. The thing helping me remove this false persona is "My Little Pony". A show that around the world has been recognized by many people of my age group and many like myself have become totally infatuated with. But for all love there must be hate and the amount of people that like the show is definitely matched by the amount of hate the show may receive. I am happy as of now. Just because I am lonely doesn't mean I won't try and enjoy life but the following events crushed my spirits. Something not even the happiness of "My Little Pony" could help with. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I had no idea what had happened. I was out with friends enjoying myself; I didn't think anything of it when I got home to find the house empty. This happened a lot. So I just sat down and started using the computer. That's when I got the call - the one I will never forget. Again I thought nothing of the phone call and answered with a casual "Hello." The hello was met with the sound of a gasp and a sound of someone who'd practiced a sympathetic voice. "Hello, is this Felix Verricht?" "Yes it is. May I ask who's calling?" "This is Caroline from the hospital here in Brisbane. I have called to inform you that..." There was a short pause and in this pause my heart stopped, the blood in my veins went cold as she uttered these next few words. " I regret to have to inform you that your parents have been killed in a car accident." Nothing could have prepared me for that news. My usually joyous bounce and spirit was crushed in an instant. "Hello? Sir, are you there?" I could still hear the woman on the phone but it was now on the ground as I began crying. Tears streaked my face and I could see nothing but the water that was now filling my eyes and staining the bits of paper on my desk. The sadness I felt of my parents death was overwhelming. I had never felt more alone in my entire life! I loved my parents with all my heart and in the blink of an eye they were gone - disappearing into an abyss. For the next couple of days I was stuck in this shell, not leaving the house for anything. Just sitting inside either crying or sleeping. Many times I was on facebook all my friends knew but none of them offered support of any kind. That’s what pushed me over the edge. The grief was too immense for me to handle. But then that night came. That fateful night where my grief reached a climax. It was dark and it was raining. My face was again streaked with tears as I ran through the rain. The sound of thunder echoed across the sky creating a harsh and terrifying effect with some of the trees. The memories of my family ran through my head: our adventures, hardships, and how much I missed my parents. I had no idea where I was going, all I knew was I needed to get out of my parents’ house. I ran through the streets tears leaking from my eyes. My clothes getting heavier as the rain soaked them and seemed to soak into my body slowing me down and sapping my strength to push on. Regardless of my lack of strength I pushed on and continued running with no real aim or care. Just hoping I'd find something worth while something worth looking for. Before I knew it I was stuck in some dark and desolate forest that I guessed was the one down the road from home. That's where I stopped. I dropped to my knees and began smashing the ground with my fist; the sound of my tears hitting the ground was drowned out by the immense sound of the rain. Before I knew it I'd passed out there on the ground, my breath gurgling into the mud. > An unexpected visitor > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- An unexpected surprise Sometimes what happens is good sometimes it's bad but most of the time you can not be prepared for the places you’ll be swept off to And what comes next? A chance to save ourselves? Imagine magma encrusted in rock And on the surface of this world, all eyes are on the clock Cos all our empires, our philosophies, our practiced faiths, our revolutions our proud sciences, are but a flicker in one day of the lives of the stars. ‘We can breathe in space they just don’t want us to escape’ Enter Shikari More tears streaked down my face the sound of them hitting the ground disappearing among the sounds of birds and the pitter patter of rain dripping off the trees. My body was caked from head to toe with mud, well nearly I could feel it covering my legs. I just lay there for a while thinking about my life but my thinking was soon pierced by a low growling sound. “Shit what’s that?” I began looking around frantically. My question was soon answered confronting me was a large white set of teeth. “Oh god.” I tried getting to my feet and running but I quickly fell back down again. “Oh no what’s going on.” Instead of my usual feet were hooves my muddy clothes lay strewn around. Instead on my back I had dark blue fur. “Oh no this can’t be happening.” I probably should have been overjoyed but faced with death at the hands of a wolf being turned into a pony was the very last thing I wanted. I realised there was nothing I could do but scream. I screamed and screamed for the longest time as the timber wolf began pacing towards me. As it reached me I remember a sharp piercing pain and then I blacked out. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I’d only blacked out once or twice in my life before now. Once was when I was in the third grade I got dropped on my head and was out for a couple hours. The second time I don’t really remember what happened I just remember I was walking through the house and I woke up with my parent asking me if I was alright trying to wake me up. This time was different to those times this was due to pain I thought I’d died. I remember a cushy feeling and a calming voice speaking over me. It sounded like my mother. “Mom?” I called out in the haze there was no reply for a while just more silence. “Oh no we’re losing him again.” That quiet voice pierced the silence again. ‘Wait a minute?’ I thought another sound pierced the haze a slow beeping and a buzzing sound. The next thing I remembered was a bright white light. It felt like I was shot up from the bed. When I opened my eyes I was coughing up blood and was covered with white sheets surrounded by. "p p p ponies?” I said incredulously “Oh my god I thought it was a dream” (In hindsight I did overreact here.) “Sir please calm down” One of the nurses said moving towards the bed slowly “Oh my god this can’t be possible!” I said looking around frantically. “Looks like he’s got amnesia.” One of the pony nurses said rather matter of factly. “Sir it’s alright you seem to be in shock and suffering some sort of memory loss.” One of the nurses said walking towards me. “Okay, okay I’m calm.” I said trying to wrap my head around what exactly was happening. “You seem to have had some sort of nasty flying accident and concussed yourself then gotten attacked by a timberwolf.” The nurse said rather bluntly. “Makes sense.” But how could this have happened. This quickly sent me on this endless spiral of thoughts of how I ended up in this far off place. ‘A magic accident?’ ‘A divine power giving me a second chance at life?’ Oh well I would find out how I got here but that would have to wait until later for now. ‘My family. It may have seemed that I was alone but.’ I began openly crying the droplets of moisture sending dark streaks down my face. The people I actually cared for, my friends. All the things I would miss. I’d never get to travel, see the world. See far off cultures or meet new friends. Instead I get stuck in this place all my worldly possessions gone. The sadness and grief was gone and it was replaced by rage. ‘What curse has me stuck here in this body.’ Somehow I managed to contain myself. All the nurses could do was pat me on the back and try and calm me. “Sir we found this on you when you were brought here. Does it mean anything to you?” The nurse held out a small red device with a pair of white headphones attached. I recognised it quickly as my ipod. ‘Did I have that in my pocket when I ran away?’ But what was stranger was the note attached to the back. The nurse handed over the ipod and the note. After a little fumbling to open it the note read. ‘Don’t give up even in the darkest times a light will shine. Keep striving towards your goal and you may find what you were looking for.’ One of the nurses began leaning over my shoulder to try and read it but I quickly snatched it away before she could read it. She gave a rather displeased look and walked back to where she was. “What’s your name sir” The nurse said. Out the window small flakes of Snow began falling as the blackness of the night provided a background for these bright white figures floating across the sky. “Snow, Snow Star.” “Alright Snow do you know where you live?” The nurse said making some motions with one of her front hooves. “No I’m not sure where I’m from.” A blatant lie like that was hard to cover up but I managed to pull it off. “Alright well we don’t have any inns or anything like they have in Canterlot so you’re going to have to stay with someone. Is that alright?” The nurse said. She seemed genuinely worried I’d say no. “Yes that should be just fine” I said closing my eyes. ‘Who would I end up with? This should be good.’ A smug grin spread across my face. Probably be one of the mane 6. One who will be able to tolerate my mood from this situation hopefully, I’d probably make Fluttershy cry, or get hit by Rainbowdash, make Rarity hate me. This is most bronies dreams but it’s just put me in a foul mood.’ “Well considering that space is rather limited around town. We’ll probably put you in with our newest resident.” The nurse said with a smile. “And where may that be?” I said feigning ignorance. “The Ponyville library.” The nurse said nodding. “Alright then.” The nurse rolled a wheelchair over. At first I thought I could walk but then remembered what happened in the forest and the fact that my legs were probably in tatters. This was putting it mildly. They didn’t put too much detail to it in the show but the hospital wasn’t very far from the library they just had one of the guards walk me there. Which I rather enjoyed the journey gave me time to think and calm myself down. ‘If I’m going to be stuck here I may as well try and enjoy it.’ “In and out” I said taking deep breaths. The air was certainly cleaner than earth because of the lack factories and air pollution. This untouched spot of nature it was quite peaceful. The birds and the clear skies I was so entranced by my surroundings I didn’t notice my escort knocking on the large wooden door. A small purple dragon opened the door gave a puzzled look then called out “Hey Twilight I think you’re needed.” “What is it Spike?” The familiar voice called from within the house. And there she was horn and all. The main character from the show Twilight Sparkle. “Oh anything I can help you with sir?” Twilight said addressing the medical pony. “We need a place for this young stallion to stay, he’s been injured and there’s no inns in town. His injuries aren’t that grave that he needs to stay in hospital but we’d rather him being watched so the staff at the hospital wanted to know if he could stay here?” I gave a small wave as she looked over to me. “Sure he can stay I’ll just need to set up the spare mattress. Does he need any medication?” Twilight said with a quizzical look. As this conversation I kept thinking that I was going to be patronised treated like a baby which would probably lead to a violent outburst from me then getting my new horse rear kicked out the door. The medical pony used his magic to take some bottles of pills out of his bag. “Just make sure he gets these for the next couple of weeks. They’re just antibiotics.” He said handing them over to Twilight. “Alright I’ll make sure I do that.” Twilight said nodding. “Don’t worry I’ll take good care of him. This is a tad strange though. How exactly did he get hurt?” “It appears he was in a flying accident then got attacked by a timberwolf, quite tragic really.” My escort said shaking his head. “I’m right here!” I said finally getting sick of just sitting there. “Now can we please get things moving along? I’m tired hungry, confused, and in pain. So if you don’t mind.” I said throwing my front hooves into the air. “Yes yes I’m sorry. We’ll get you inside. Tell them I don’t mind keeping him and I’m glad to help.” Twilight said gesturing towards the medical pony. “Alright I’ll do that. We’ll be over to check on him in a couple of days.” The medical pony said leaving. “Alright let’s get you inside uhhhh?” Twilight said realising he hadn’t told her my name. “Snow.” I said as Twilight started wheeling me in. She was using her magic and appeared to be gazing at the small red device in the center of my hoof. As I noticed this I looked up and said “What’s up?” As I said this I broke her focus or something and she rammed my wheel chair into the table hitting my legs. “Ow god damn it!” I yelled, even though I’d been pumped full of painkillers that hurt. “God?” Twilight said with a quizzical look on her face as she began pushing the wheelchair again. More carefully this time. “Slip of the tongue” I said realising my idiocy in this situation. “So where are you from?” Twilight said sitting me next to a low coffee table. The question hit me like a tonne of bricks I tried my best to choke back the tears but one must of rolled down my face as I answered. “Far away.” She instantly dropped the subject realising she had struck a nerve. “Well the medical ponies said you’ll be able to walk by tomorrow as long as you get a good nights rest, so that’s good news.” Twilight said perking up. “Yeah that’ll be nice. I don’t really like this chair.” I said giving the thing a stern hit with my hoof. “ Is there anywhere I can put this for it to be safe?” I said gesturing towards the music player. “Sure just put it over there on the shelf it should be fine. I’ll just go grab you your mattress for the night.” “Thanks Twilight.” Twilight left the room, going downstairs. it gave me time to observe my surroundings. ‘Exactly like the show.’ I thought to myself. The shelves and all I’m surprised really. ‘But why am I here’ I thought to myself. Twilight returned toting a mattress behind her using her magic to carry it. She placed it in the center of the floor after moving the coffee table. “Thanks for your hospitality, you’re very kind Twilight.” I said a tear running down my face. “Hey Snow what’s wrong.” Twilight said coming over and putting her hoof on my shoulder. “Don’t worry about it I’ll figure something out.” I said pushing my way out of the chair to lay on the bed. “Alright well you rest for the night and tomorrow you should be alright and I’ll make some dinner tomorrow.” “Alright good night twilight.” Sleep took me quickly sucking me into it’s comforting embrace