`It was the middle of the night, and Rainbow Dash was pissed off. Twilight had miscast a spell while attempting to clear out an errant storm cloud during one of Pinkie Pie’s parties, and now she had to fix the resulting lightning storm! The storm quickly got worse until one unbelievably large lightning bolt of many hues struck the ground near the Everfree forest, then it suddenly stopped faster than you can say bad writing.
“Dash, how did you get the storm to stop like that?”, Twilight asked.
”I didn't,” Rainbow Dash said, “it stopped itself after a really big rainbow colored bolt struck by the everfree forest.”
“Maybe we should find where’in it hit,” said Applejack, and off they trotted. Upon arrival they saw something that made their jaws drop, there was a mid sized crater containing a large, rectangular lump of metal with a handle sticking out of it.
“What is it?” asked Rarity, “is it dangerous?”.
Twilight took a couple of tentative steps forward and noticed something. “Hey, there is something on the side of it.”
“What the buck is it?” asked Rainbow Dash, “come and see,” said Twilight. On the side of it were these words:
Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy,shall possess the power of THOR
Twilight extended a magic probe toward the object, and as it drew closer to the hammer she could feel a magical aura unlike any other she had ever felt, incredibly strong yet very natural, it felt like a thunder storm, only 10,000 times stronger, and as the probe reached it the object began to crackle with obscene amounts of electricity, at this point fearing for the lives of her and her friends she dissipated the probe.
Staring at the object as the crackling died down she realized what it was."I think that this a magic hammer," said Twilight, she then attempted to pick it up with her magic, and failed miserably. Pinkie then bounced over and clamped her jaws around the wood wrapped handle and pulled,to no avail, until she was buried up to her hindquarters in the ground. Applejack went over to help Pinkie up and , as soon as the pink pony was clear, took hold of the handle and gave it her all, and of course, the hammer refused to budge so much as a yoctometer.
"For Celestia's sake it's just a bucking hammer", yelled a still very angry rainbow dash Rainbow Dash, "I'll show you wimps how it's done", and with that she launched herself at it, and as she grabbed ahold of the leather hoop at the end the hammer stayed put, as did her grip, spinning her in a semi circle onto her back at high speeds, cringing in pain and infuriated she screamed, "Celestia's scrotum!"
Twilight then summoned paper and a quill and gave them to Spike,"send word to Princess Celestia at once", but as he was writing he coughed up a letter,
" It says that she knows that something has happened in Ponyville and that she will arrive in the morning", read Spike,
" Ah guess there ain't nuthin' we can do but go on home," said Applejack.
Twilight awoke with a start, there was a massive roaring sound in the air like a thousand roaring dragons, she scrambled to find the source of the noise an made a startling discovery, her "throne room" was engulfed in what appeared to be blue fire! This blue fire, which was the source of the noise, grew more intense by the second, but instead of of growing as a normal fire would, it was shrinking quickly.
Soon it was about the size of a child's heart and brighter than the sun, it was at that time that the light began to dim and the noise started to quiet until she could she the source; a small, grey, perfectly round, polished stone engulfed in a pale blue flame in the exact center of the room. The vast roaring had also subsided, instead replaced with a subtle crystalline song and a very dry voice.
"Hello Princess Twilight Sparkle", said the voice.
"who are you, where are you, how do you know who I am, and what is that glowing rock!?", screamed Twilight.
"Calm down, "I am an omniscient awareness that got sucked in with the orb of aldur, I am known as the prophecy of light."
"The orb of aldur?",asked Twilight, " is that the glowing rock on the floor?".
"yes, don't touch it unless you would like to die a horrible fiery death, it's sentient, immensely powerful,not very bright, and it doesn't like to be touched by most people". Then the voice was gone, leaving Twilight wondering what he meant by sentient.
While she was pondering this, the rest of the main 6 came bursting into the room with looks of concern on their faces, " we saw strange lights and came as fast as we could darling," Rarity said," What is that beautiful gem?", she inquired, gazing at the glowing orb, "it would look fabulous on a dress". At that point the aura around the orb gave a little twitch and Rarity found herself clad in a dress made of the finest silk, with orange and purple polka dots, " where did this monstrosity of bad taste come from?", screeched Rarity.
"I think the orb did it as a joke", said Twilight, " it's alive and unbelievably powerful, so we should probably leave it alone until Celestia gets here".
"Not until it apologizes", declared Rarity as she walked closer to the stone. With a screeching voice Rarity yelled, "I DEMAND THAT YOU APOLOGIZE AND REMOVE THIS HIDEOUS THING IMMEDIATELY!", to which the orb replied by promptly muzzling her.
Upon dragging the overreacting pony from the castle they discovered that Celestia was waiting outside, " What's happened Twilight?", asked Celestia, " Discord told me that there were 2 massive magical imbalances in Ponyville, the first one as big as when you received all of the alicorn magic, the second so large that he could not begin to understand it."
"The first one must have when that strange magic hammer that no one could lift came out of the lightning storm", said Twilight, 'and the second that glowing rock in the castle".
"Take me to this hammer, I believe that I should examine it".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Celestia gazed upon the hammer, she knew that it was definitely the source of one of the disturbances and like any good ruler would, trotted over to it and tried to pick it up, and despite being a benevolent god-princess, failed miserably. "Interesting, very interesting" Celestia mused as a pegasi guard flew toward the princess at top speed.
"Urgent message from Princess Luna.", reported the guard. As Celestia read the letter her expression became increasingly worried, "Twilight I have some very bad news, the changling kingdoms, gryphona, and minotaurian empire have all just declared war on Equestria."
"Mm mmm!" screamed a still muzzled Rarity
"Eep," whispered Fluttershy
"Celestia damned bucking pieces of stereotypical villainy!" cursed rainbow dash
"Ineedtogobakecupcakes!" yelled pinkie as she ran to sugarcube corner
Twilight and Applejack just stood there in shock,"Twilight, I need to go to Canterlot immediately, so I can't examine this 'orb', therefore you will have to do it," said Celestia, " and Rainbow Dash, you forgot to remove Rarity's muzzle before checking on Twilight." and then she teleported off to Canterlot.
