Chapter 1: Field of Innocence
Streets of Canterlot
March 19, 2014
Age 17
Celestia's sun shined brightly in Canterlot. The streets filled with busy ponies going off to important get-togethers, or on their way to buy the latest fashionable clothes. Everypony seemed so important. They certainly all had a knack for thinking of themselves as such. But one young mare thought of herself as anything but. A simple earth pony with a dark blue coat and black, ruffled mane. Her name was Autumn Moon. She had been sleeping on a bench at a bus stop and was now being awoken by the hustle-and-bustle and the bright sun. She groaned as she began to sit up. After rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and examining her surroundings, she pulled close to her, her saddlebag, which she had been using as a pillow. Inside was, apart from the bag itself, her one and only possession; a notebook filled with poems of her own creation. Thinking about the notebook sent her mind reeling to another time.
Autumn had started writing in this notebook when she was seven. Having first written a few seemingly meaningless lines of words that just happened to rhyme. But she adored the words she came up with and even proceeded to sing them. She was a bit embarrassed when her mother had suddenly come into her room and heard her singing, but she egged her to continue. When the song was finished, the young filly's mother told her to look at her flank. To her amazement, there was a black treble clef and orange crescent moon now on her flank. She had gotten her cutie mark. The filly jumped for joy and proceeded to hug her mother, the older mare returning the embrace.
"I'm so proud of you, dear."......
Autumn blinked, returning from her trip down memory lane. She sighed, knowing all too well that those days were long behind her. She hadn't written a meaningless poem in years. Over time, her poems evolved from being meaningless to simply being about being happy. Then when she discovered sadness, her poems were about sorrow and having to deal with unfortunate situations. When she had her first crush, her poems started to be about being in love and wanting a certain pony with you. But now, all she writes about is all she knows now; hopelessness.
She opened her saddlebag and took out her precious notebook, turning to the page with the most recently added poem. It was about remembering when one was a child and longing to somehow go back to having that innocence. To be unaware of hardships and sorrow. She knew this would never be, though. She would never again have back her cozy childhood life. She would never again hear the soft, caring voice that once belonged to her mother. And she feared that she would never again truly feel safe. Without a care for who was listening, the mare began singing the words of her poem.
Memories of the past.
They come back to haunt me now...
They return, so does the pain.
Must forget, but don't know how...
Where did my life go?
Why can't I return to my childhood?
Oh now... I have to face it..
The innocence I once had won't ever be back in me again...
Lost my sense of security.
Every step I take, I dread...
I don't know if I can get through.
So afraid I'll end up dead...
Why am I alone?
Tell me, what kind of pony deserves this?
Oh why... why must this be my life?
Why can't I be happy again?....
She stopped as she started sobbing, her tears clouding her vision. She wiped them away and saw only one pony anywhere near her. And he didn't seem to have heard her singing.
Sniffling, she put her saddlebag on and got up off the bench. She started walking down the streets of the city with only one goal in mind; breakfast. She had a very small amount of bits, so whatever she bought had to be worth it.
* * *
Stepping out of the cafe, Autumn held in her hoof a simple cup of coffee. It was black. No sugar, no cream, no added flavors, just black. She absolutely hated coffee when it was just black. But given the prices on anything extra compared to pathetic amount of bits she possessed, she really had no other option.
Stored safely in her saddlebag was a paper bag, containing one day-old, discounted muffin. She would eat it slowly as this may be the only meal she could afford for the whole day. She had only taken one small bite before putting it back in the bag. It was nowhere near as bad as the coffee.
She walked through the streets, occasionally taking a sip of her coffee. She often wondered if the residents of Canterlot looked down on her. If they did, surely it was due solely to her homelessness. They couldn't have looked down on her because of where she came from. Many ponies from Trottingham have made a name for themselves in Canterlot.
'Especially her....'
She tried to snap herself out of her thoughts. That one mare had been invading her mind for years. Always creeping into her thoughts. Almost all the time. Thinking about her had become as common as breathing.
Autumn finally tore herself away from her thoughts enough to take another sip of her horribly bitter beverage. With her head tilted back and eyes closed, she was unable to see the pony she had just bumped into. The impact caused her to drop her coffee onto the ground, the lid popping off and the drink spilling all over the pavement.
"Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry!" said the pony she bumped into. She had a light Trottingham accent. Just like Autumn's. She looked at the pony and her heart stopped.
Before her stood an earth pony mare with a gray coat and black mane. A pink bowtie was tied neatly around her neck, and her lavender eyes looked back at her with slight worry.
She knew this mare. She was the one who was always on her mind. Ever since the day she first laid eyes on her.
'Octavia Philharmonica.....'
She was speechless.
Chapter 2: The Picture
Moon's Residence, Trottingham
November 13, 2010
Age 14
The rain beat softly against the young mare's bedroom window. Autumn was just now waking up from a dreamless sleep. Giving a soft yawn and stretching to wake herself up, the filly got out of bed and exited her room, walking across the hall, into the bathroom. She took a look at herself in the mirror before picking up a brush and smoothing out her mane.
Autumn had never really thought of herself as pretty. Only as a common looking young pony. She didn't really mind, though. No one in her middle school had ever taken an interest in her, and so far, no one in her high school either. Autumn was only in her first year of high school, and so far, the only difference was harder work. But that didn't seem to matter so much as she had mostly 'B's. She didn't wonder why she never got attention from colts, but her friends did.
* * *
"I just don't understand why you don't have a coltfriend, Autumn." Sugar Pie said.
A trio of ponies were having lunch in the cafeteria. A pegasus named Sugar Pie, and a unicorn named Mauve Lace.
"I don't know." Autumn replied. "I mean, I'm not really looking for one."
Her friends exchanged glances.
"Anypony would be lucky to date you." Mauve said. "You're the sweetest filly I know."
Autumn smiled at the compliment. "Thanks, Mauve."
She smiled back. "Heck, if I swung that way, I'd want to date you."
This comment however, threw Autumn off. She looked at her friend with a confused expression.
"If you swung what way? And you'd date me? What do you mean?"
Sugar Pie giggled. "Oh, Autumn. So innocent, it's adorable."
Autumn was admittedly quite unworldly and didn't know about too many things. Having led a sheltered life. Right now, she was confused. She had no idea what her friends were talking about.
"Can you just tell me, please?" she asked politely.
Mauve looked a bit nervous. "I was just saying.. if I were a fillyfooler, I'd like to go out with you. But I'm not, so... I don't." She was cautiously looking around to make sure nopony was listening.
"A fillyfooler?" Autumn was still confused.
"You know, when a filly and a colt like each other and go out?" Sugar started.
Autumn nodded.
"Well, with fillyfoolers, it's the same, only both are fillies."
"Oh.. Ohhh!" Autumn finally understood.
Mauve still looked around nervously.
* * *
Autumn finished brushing her teeth while thinking back to that day. She had learned what a fillyfooler was, and wondered for a while if she could possibly be one. She dreaded the idea, for she also learned what many ponies think of fillyfoolers that day. She certainly didn't want to be hated by ponies everywhere simply because of who she loved.
She tried to figure out how she really felt about colts, and came to the conclusion that she didn't really like them. At least not in that way.
'Maybe that's why I've never had a coltfriend.' she thought.
But just because she didn't like colts, did that necessarily mean she had to like fillies? Autumn planned to test this theory. She walked out of the bathroom and headed to the kitchen.
"Good morning, dear." Autumn's mother, Crimson Night greeted. She had a magenta coat and a dark red mane. "I made pancakes." On the table sat a short stack of pancakes with a cup filled with syrup sitting next to it.
"Thanks, mum." Autumn sat down beside her mother and took two pancakes and set them in the plate Crimson had conveniently placed beside her for her daughter. She picked up the syrup cup with her teeth and poured a generous amount onto her pancakes.
Taking a bite of the breakfast food, Autumn let out a satisfied "Mmm~" to which, her mother giggled.
"There's some juice in the refrigerator too, hon."
Autumn looked to the refrigerator, but her eye caught something else; the front page of the newspaper her mother was reading. The picture showed an earth pony mare, eyes closed, and playing a cello. The headline read: "Young cellist 'wow's Equestria with her music"
The picture was very simple. It was in black and white, so Autumn couldn't even tell what color the pony in it was. And yet, she couldn't stop staring. There was something about this mare that made it impossible for her to look away.
Crimson glanced at her daughter and took notice of her staring. She looked at the front page and saw the cellist.
"Who is she?" asked Autumn.
Crimson gave a little smile and set the paper down in front of her.
"See for yourself."
Completely losing interest in her breakfast, Autumn pulled the newspaper closer and began to read.
'Octavia Philharmonica took Canterlot by storm in her concert last night. Her powerful performance and emotional movements left the crowd wanting more. Could the young Trottingham mare possibly become the most talented cellist in all of Equestria?'
"Octavia...." Autumn was mesmerized.
"You seem pretty interested in her." Crimson commented.
"She's beautiful..." Autumn wasn't even fully aware those words left her mouth. And now her mother's face showed slight concern.
"You think she's... beautiful?"
Autumn looked at her mother, now slightly nervous.
"Well... I mean, yes she looks very simple, but.. she has a certain elegance to her simpleness, and...." She trailed off, not knowing exactly what to say.
The room was filled with an awkward silence for about a minute, until Crimson spoke up.
"Do you.... like fillies, Autumn..?"
Autumn wasn't sure how to answer. She was only now trying to find the answer to this question herself. She wasn't certain she had ever felt anything romantic toward anypony at all in the past, much less a filly.
Looking at the picture again, she confirmed that she did feel something for this mare, but she wasn't sure what it was.
"I suppose..."Autumn began softly. "I like this one... I'm not really sure.." She slumped slightly in her chair, a bit ashamed for feeling this way. She didn't know how her mother was going to react.
"Well.. how do you feel about her? Can you tell me that?"
Autumn thought.
"Well, like I said, she's beautiful." She looked closer at the picture. "Gorgeous even... So... pretty...." She seemed to be staring a little too long. "I'd love to meet her...."
Crimson made a conclusion.
"It sounds to me like you have a little crush."
Was that what it was? Autumn knew what a crush was, but had never had one herself before. She wasn't even sure this was one, because she was fairly certain she didn't feel any butterflies in her stomach. But she knew she had some kind of feelings for the mare. It was only to look at her mother that Autumn finally tore away from the picture in the newspaper.
"M-maybe, but..." Autumn was worried. She didn't know what her mother thought of fillies liking other fillies. She was afraid of what she would think.
Crimson seemed to notice this fear and gently pulled her daughter into a hug, which she returned.
"Sweetheart, what's the problem..?" she asked, concern in her voice.
"I-I know what ponies think of... fillyfoolers..." She whispered the last word, suddenly afraid that her father may possibly be in the other room and hear her. She was very open about things with her mother, but her father was thick-headed and very judgmental. She didn't want to have to deal with him.
Crimson gently brushed a hoof against Autumn's mane.
"Yes sweetheart, a lot of ponies aren't too fond of same-gender couples... But, I'll tell you a secret."
Autumn looked at her as she held her closer. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. If you have feelings for a filly, that's okay. In fact, it's good."
Autumn smiled and snuggled into her mother's embrace.
"My little girl's got her first crush." Crimson kissed Autumn's forehead. "You're growing up, dear."
Autumn giggled, then looked back at the paper.
"Hey, mum?" she asked.
"Hmm?"
"Could we.. possibly... go to her next concert?"
A sudden pang of worry and guilt built up inside Crimson. She knew they couldn't afford to go to Canterlot or to attend a concert. But letting down her daughter was the last thing she planned to do.
"Well, we'll have to save up for it. And it could take a long time. Can you wait that long, dear?"
Autumn smiled. "Of course I can! In fact, I'll even help save up."
Crimson giggled. "Alright." She kissed Autumn's forehead once again. "Now, you'd better hurry up or you'll be late for school."
Autumn looked at her pancakes, they had gone cold and she didn't really want to eat them anymore. Her attention once again turned to the newspaper. She picked it up.
"Mum, could.. could I keep this?"
Crimson smiled warmly. "Of couse, sweetheart."
Autumn grinned and carried the newspaper into her room. She walked to her bed and placed the paper underneath her pillow. She would cut out the picture and article to pin on her wall when she had more time. Before leaving, she took one last glance at the mare in the picture.
"Octavia..."
