Following the events of Equestria Girls, the police and FBI investigate the cause of the unusual events that lead to the incident at Canterlot High.
Reality is a fickle thing, sometimes it just ignores the world of fiction while other times it comes down like a hammer on a nail. Let us go back to the Strange World of bipeds and of technology to see what Twilight and Spike did not see; how the world would react to their actions. How the world reacts to such actions that would remove the veil of safety and precedents... and how the government tries to cover it up. This will include spoilers to Equestria Girls, in case the description didn't make it clear. Rated Teen for general descriptions and references that may upset some.
As Twilight Sparkle hugged her new friends goodbye, something deep in her heart told her it would be far from the last time she'd return to this brave new world, and there'd be more to learn from these new friends. Adjusting her hair one last time and waving goodbye with Spike in tow, she walked through the portal. Pinkie Pie tried to run through, meeting with a face full of concrete. Looking dejected, she got up and approached Rainbow, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy, their ears, tails, horns, and wings vanishing just as soon as they came.
"Well, I guess it's fer th' best." Applejack said, turning back to the dance.
"Yes, I suppose." Rarity sighed. "I don't know the first thing about grooming ears, let alone a tail!" As they approached Canterlot High, the sound of sirens grew louder and the party shut down before it was even half-way through.
The police approached Canterlot High, marveling at the massive crater in the ground.
"The bomb squad might need to investigate the rest of the building." One of them commented, the locals gathering around the police tape to look at the destruction. The entire entrance had been destroyed, save for half a door frame and the upper part of the plate-glass window decorations, featuring the school insignia of an eight-pointed star.
Inside the emergency siren sounded, and the students carefully cleared out chatting and laughing like nothing happened, much to the confusion of the officers. Ever since a certain incident in Manehattan, people would be all shook up about this whole thing, being in the middle of a bombing, but here they were talking about it like it was an amazing adventure. As if they'd just witnessed a popular film unfold before their eyes. Even more noticeable, Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna looked content, as if they didn't care that thousands of dollars and weeks of construction would go into fixing up the building, that their students would have to attend summer school while having to take heavy detours to get inside the building, that this would be all over the news. No, they didn't seem to give any semblance of care.
Eventually, the bomb squad arrived as the police began interrogating witnesses. Several names came up multiple times, but the stories, the stories were outlandish! Six girls; Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash ran outside for some reason, where they discovered Sunset Shimmer and her two "friends" Snips and Snails threatening to break the statue. They claimed something about the crown that the Princess of the Fall Formal won every year. They just assumed she'd snapped because she'd been the winner of the crown several years in a row and losing it didn't bode well with her psyche.
That's when things got weird. Twilight, realizing the statue was important gave her the crown before her dog snatched it away at the last moment. After a short tussle that a good majority of the student body had come out to watch, Sunset grabbed the crown and put it on her head. In a turn of events not even the most savvy of students would have seen, she'd somehow transformed into a horrific demon. The details after that, however, varied until the origin of the crater, that several of the girls had gained superpowers, and a dog began talking.
The next day didn't fare much better. The Narcotics Unit and Psychoanalysts were confused at the lack of drugs and missing pieces prevalent in other group hallucinations. Not to mention that neither claim would explain the damage done to the building. Getting security footage was a nightmare, as the party diverted most of the attention of the motion-detecting cameras. That was, until five hours into the scan. As one poor officer watched the tape, the magic and the otherworldly nature all spelled out for him, he not so much pressed the panic button as he did hammer it.
The FBI arrived within hours, taking in the six girls and two boys, as well as sending an APB on Twilight Sparkle and her dog, Spike.
"State your name," was the first thing the orange cowgirl heard, her eyes opening and looking around the pitch-black room.
"What in tarnation?"
"State your name." The voice repeated, commanding this time. A figure stepped closer, he was a grown man, well shaven, not buff but definitely in shape. He had a stone face and wore sunglasses and an earpiece.
So in other words, a Man in Black.
"...Mah name? Well... Ah'm Applejack." She explained, the small cramped room reminding her a bit too much of a horror film Rainbow had made her watch when they were younger.
"Applejack, I am Agent Black from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. There has been an incident and it seems you and your friends are a consistent element in what seems to be a terrorist attack."
"...Terrorists? Ah... Ah'm not sure how ta explain this..."
"Explain the best you can, Miss Jack."
Applejack shifted in her seat. "Ah... well... it wasn't terrorists... it was a... m-magic." She said, realizing how silly this must sound.
The agent kept a stone-face, although one of his eyebrows perked up a bit. "I see... do you know anyone else who may be involved in this? Someone who's close to... Miss Sparkle or Miss Shimmer?"
"Well, Flash Sentry might know a bit 'bout Sunset, an' Snips an' Snails were kinda importan' too..." She said, not sure if she should drag them into this.
"Thank you for your cooperation." He said, leaving the room and Applejack back to herself. Agent Black frowned, dropping his poker-face to think this over.
Magic. Goddamned magic, of all the things on Earth, not of Earth, outside of the universe it had to be magic. UFOs were easy to cover up, Bigfoot doubly so, numbers stations and mysterious broadcasts were never an issue, but magic, magic couldn't be explained away. Magic wasn't as simple as smoke and mirrors, not on this scale. They couldn't have Penn and Teller show up on a segment of the local news and make it vanish like a carrot or a watch, even the greatest skeptics would point out how unusual this was from miles away. No, this would hit world news and so would the footage. Not to mention the sheer amount of witnesses, Canterlot High School had a graduating class of 312 on average. They'd need to do something drastic, and fast.
But they had no evidence of supernatural items at play other than the footage, and even then it would be argued that they just mistook some kid's editing demo for damning evidence, placed in the security tapes as a prank. Nothing but a crater in the ground and some teenagers who may or may not have been slipped a few mickeys. This was weird, but it would still be easily pointed to as terrorism mixed with teenage naivety.
Even then, it would need to be investigated.
The Wonder-Colts statue sat outside of Principle Celestia's office, a prominent display of school spirit and a link between two worlds. Long before there was stories of drunken alumni vanishing after attempting to deface the statue, but the recent revelation made it that half the students refused to even approach it while the other half would try their luck on attempting to escape the world of problems into another.
The Principal sighed as she wrote paperwork, glad the event happened right before break. She'd have no clue how to deal with these kids if they all decided to return, their minds too focused on the light-show/duel to properly do anything. Hell, kids during the extra curricular classes either stood outside, watching the statue during their breaks or talked about how they could have been one of those heroes to defeat Shimmer... even while she and her lackeys fixed the entryway under the watchful eye of her sister and the government.
"Ahem." Said a stone-face man standing at her doorway, having been waiting to be noticed for several minutes.
"Hm? Oh, yes where are my manners. Come in." She smiled at him like she would any disgruntled parent or maddened teacher. "Sit down, relax Mister-?"
"Mister Black." He said, putting on sunglasses and whispering something to his earpiece.
"Mister Black, I take it you're here to discuss the incident that took place yesterday?" The man nodded, the Principal chuckling softly at this response.
"Ma'am, we've noticed some peculiarities with student and teacher behavior." The principal brushed her hair out of her face, not really seeming to care. "We would like permission to investigate the building, watch some of the cameras, search for potential evidence?"
Principle Celestia nodded. "Oh, I perfectly understand Mister Black. You can watch the monitors and look at the building... but not while classes are running. That's out of my control. You'll need to hold a discussion with the PTA if you want to watch over the classes and faculty. Surely you understand, yes?"
"Will this include lockers?" He asked, smirking.
Celestia nodded. "I hope this doesn't sound rude," she began, "but I need to get back to work. Can you please leave?"
Naturally, the interviews continued even without Agent Black performing them. Rarity sat in a dark room, trying to look around using the table lamp set before her. The small, plain white room seemed empty save for her, a mirror, a table, the chair she was sitting on, and the door out. As she began fixing her hair in the mirror, she heard the door open. Turning to it, she smiled, adjusting the table lamp back to the position it was before. A man, this one with a moderate sized scar on his cheek, entered the room, stone faced and calm. He felt something in the air, but couldn't quite place it.
"Hello there Miss...?"
"Oh sorry, you scared me!" She chuckled softly. "Call me Rarity. What is all this about?" The white fashionista asked, slightly worried about her new friends... well, not NEW but old but rekindled friends.
"I am Johnson York Gregory, FBI. There's been an accident and I think it's best we talk."
"Is it OK if I just call you York?" She asked, smiling.
He nodded softly and sat down. "Tell me everything you know about Sunset Shimmer."
"Well... I suppose I'll start from the first time I met her." She sighed. "It was the First Grade, during a trip to the high school during a Christmas Pageant. While the adults and teenagers watched and preformed, the children were in the cafeteria with arts and crafts or board games with snacks. Even at my age I thought it was a bit... tacky. Anyway, Sunset's appearance was unusual and sudden. She seemed to be throwing a tantrum as she walked in, knocking over toys and milk cartons, taking cookies and destroying any piece of art she could lay her hands on. A teacher came in and took her away, all the while she screamed about Miss Celestia banishing her. Of course, at the time we just assumed she was over-reacting but... I don't think we ever could have imagined what she was really mad about."
"Banishment?" He asked.
"Well, yes... skipping ahead to last night we learned Sunset Shimmer's true history. She was apparently exiled from the magical land of Equestria... A land of talking ponies, can you believe that?"
"No."
"Neither could I! But... well, I can't say I don't believe anymore considering the... unusual transformations we went through."
The agent nodded, "I will be seeing you again Miss Rarity. Thank you for your co-operation." York left the room, leaving Rarity alone once more and making a mental note to ask another girl about these transformations.
The lockers, student lockers. Most of them would have been cleaned out of personal items by this point in the year, but they were a better lead than nothing. He started out with Twilight Sparkle's locker, easily opening it with the school's master key.
The lack of a lock also helped. Inside the locker was nothing remarkable, at least on the outside. The books were sorted based on their place on the light spectrum, and the notebooks had been stored next to them in a careful alignment so the bindings wouldn't be damaged. As he dug around a bit he eventually gave up and started looking through the notebooks, greatly becoming confused. Twilight Sparkle had taken notes not only on the classes, very closely done and followed notes down to the slightest of details, but on her fellow students as well. She'd written down everything about them, names, positions in her classes, colors, their preferred colors of dress, everything down to and including whether or not she... met their pony counterpart?
He took the notebooks for further investigations, moving onto the locker of Rarity, who'd planned on staying to help design wardrobe for the drama club. Unfortunately, Rarity lacked anything interesting or relevant to the case other than a photo taken during the dance. The rest of it was filled with potential fashion designs and a small sewing kit. Applejack's locker was a lot more homely, papers and books scattered about. Plans about her farm's sales and such were littered about, having planned on staying for potential Future Farmers of America meetings and apart from a rather nice family portrait nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had lockers right next to each other, possibly signifying a sister-like bond with them. Or it was a coincidence, he wasn't here to judge the layout of the school. Inside of Fluttershy's locker was a bunch of animal food; kibble, canned tuna, jars of dead crickets. He shuddered at the crickets and looked at the papers detailing adoptions at the animal shelter and newly found critters.
Rainbow's locker was a mess. Judging by the sports gear, the posters and pennants, and the fact her books were strewed about randomly it would seem she'd stayed because of poor grades. He did, however find a few interesting pieces of doodles. One of her flying with wings, some with her lampooning over a defeated Applejack, and one with her and the other five playing soccer.
Then came Pinkie Pie's locker. As he tugged open the party girl's locker several bundles of party balloons, streamers, party hats fell onto the floor. As he dug through he looked confused, finding no books or notes. He did find plenty of fake eye-patches and invitations, even ones for use so far ahead as 2031! He pulled out speakers, CDs, musical instruments, phonographs, photographs, cameras, developing fluid, reveloping fluid, under-developed fluid, underwear, bras, Jaws, claws, claw hammers, claw hamsters, toy hamsters, toy boats, rain coats, and plenty of other humorous but irrelevant items. Dejected, the agent slammed the locker and left all that stuff laying on the floor of the halls, making a mental note to get someone with a lower position the assignment to dig through the seemingly endless mess that was Pinkie Pie's locker.
Opening Flash Sentry's locker was ultimately as fruitful as pulling open Capone's vault. Other than his guitar and a few poorly written poems to Twilight, Flash contributed nothing to the story being told to the agent. For kicks, he opened one of them and read a couple of lines.
Sparkle, Miss Sparkle
Whose eyes shine like magic,
I find it most tragic
We will never be together,
If only I were able to follow you forever... Blech.
As he slammed the locker door, the agent moved onto Sunset Shimmer's. Inside of hers was something a lot more interesting.
Sunset Shimmer, all the signs pointed to her. Students blamed her, she was part of the footage, she had motive, everything! But, innocent until proven guilty was still the rule of thumb. He had to give her a chance... of course, he could still violate her and numerous other students' rights and possibly expose several terrible secrets about them in a court of law, but it was a necessary evil to put those who DID deserve it behind bars. Or so Agent Black told himself to sleep at night.
The stories were consistent though. Sunset Shimmer turned into a horrible demon, zombified almost everyone present, and made a huge crater in the middle of the courtyard. How much LSD could one kid fit into a punch bowl to cause such hallucinations? He opened Shimmer's locker, chuckling to himself at how silly the whole scenario seemed.
Until he saw her locker was covered head to toe in plans, photos, drawings, phone numbers, notes of specific items, blueprints... how the hell did she get blueprints? Amazed at his discovery he picked one up, unfolding it for proper reading.
Year 9, Month 7, Day 19. Two new young kids showed up, idiots named Snips and Snails. They'll be a breeze to coerce to join me, considering they're falling over that Trixie kid. Blinking, he took up another paper. Year 10, Month 4, Day 11. Yeah, yeah, my birthday, moving on. I only have a few more months to prepare for my revenge. I think I did well, the Dramas and the Nerds aren't talking anymore and the Goths are almost completely gone. Not as easily squelched as the Preppies (although I think a few of them fled into the Fashionistas), but nowhere near as difficult as the Greasers were. B was able to obtain some good information about those five, probably good enough to tear them apart for long enough to let me go unscathed. Of course, this will only distract the wildcard. Hopefully it will be enough.
B? Goths? Wildcard? He couldn't figure this out, reaching for her notebook he flipped to a random page. Taking off his sunglasses, he could hardly believe it! Twilight's notes were ridiculous but Shimmer's outclassed them by a country mile. She'd gotten names, birthdays, class schedules, fears, what manner of manipulation they'd fall to, their favorite foods, names of loved ones, occupations, boyfriends, girlfriends, awards and honor rolls, report cards, who'd moved from where, who've moved away, "Who're you?"
Agent Black turned around, taking out his stun-gun and facing a male student with orange skin and blue hair.
"Woah, woah! Calm down!" The teen said, putting his hands up.
"Name?" Black asked, not putting the gun away.
"F-flash! Flash Sentry! I was on my way to guitar lessons and I saw you rooting through my exes' locker." Putting away the weapon, the Fed made a mental note to keep a look out on him.
"Agent Black, FBI. Be on your way."
The teen left, confused as to what just happened.
Fluttershy sat alone in a dark room, too terrified to do anything. Of course, Agent Gregory's sudden appearance didn't help her much either, causing her to gasp and nearly crawl into the corner of the room.
"Miss? Are you alright?" He asked, tempted to cut off the interview here.
"Y-yes..." She whimpered, barely audible. The agent sat at the table, the situation growing more and more awkward by the second.
"Would you like some help up?" He asked, her nodding in response. As the man helped her up, she felt limp, much like a ragdoll cat. Her interactions shared similarities with quite a few serial killers he'd dealt with; shy, weak, easily startled. He wasn't going to hold this against her though, this wasn't a hard and fast rule... but he still made a mental note to keep the most security on her. In the light he would see her features more clearly, yellow skin and pink hair. A calming atmosphere seemed to surround her, like kindness radiated from her very being... in hindsight, the other one he'd interviewed, Miss Rarity, seemed to have given off a similar air. He'd need to make notes of these in the future.
"What's your name?" He asked, starting as simply as possible.
"Fluttershy..." she responded.
"Come again?"
"Fluttershy..."
"Well, Miss Fluttershy. I can see you're quite... stressed but I need you to relax. Calm down, it's just you and me in here. I just need you to answer some simple questions." She nodded. "They all involve the..." He used air quotes. "Transformations you, your friends, and Sunset Shimmer went through."
"T-transformations? I... um... oh my... I don't know how to... I mean I do but I... it's just that... it's sort of that..." She began babbling, then apologizing for babbling, then babbling the apologies, then apologizing for that.
"Would it help if I turned on the lights?" He asked, sighing.
"Y-y-ye- I mean, I don't want to be a burden..." He rolled his eyes and turned on the lights, showing the rest of the white room, and the mirror on one side of it. She gave a little squeak and let her eyes adjust.
"Now... the transformations, Miss Shy." He said, growing quite annoyed.
"Oh yes... Well... Sunset Shimmer put the crown on her head and... she... exploded?" She said, trying to think of a proper word for it. "Well... um, energy just burst from the ground and surrounded her and sh-she started screaming. A-at first it sounded like she was in awful, unbearable pain but... But the longer she screamed, the... happier it was... I-it's like it started off like she was crying... but by it ended she was laughing this... horrible, unnatural...demonic..." She was growing quieter with each word.
"I see... and your own transformations?" She blinked, seeming not to understand. "...When you grew wings?"
"O-oh... Well... I... um... imagine having... another pair of arms. That is, if you don't mind... A-and I just... wanted to be away from the ground and... I felt them moving and... suddenly I was flying." The man nodded.
"We're gonna need to keep you here with your friends, Miss Shy. To see if this doesn't have any long term effects, you understand."
"B-but I work in the Animal Shelter... th-the little puppies and kittens would miss me if I weren't there."
"I'm sorry Miss Shy but the animals will have to learn to be..." He shook his head, the weird feeling in the air growing stronger. "I mean, the animals will be fine. We'll make sure your employer knows where you are." He left the room, rubbing his forehead, wondering what happened to him back there.
"But I'm an unpaid volunt-" She was cut off by the closing door.
Agent Black dug around Vice Principal Luna's office, looking for student records. He wondered why the Vice Principal favored darker colors; her desk being painted grey, the single window covered with blinds, her walls a deep blue color, not to mention the unusual moon motif. He was starting to wonder if that was her real name at all. Finally, he found it in one of her cabinet drawers.
In alphabetical order by first name.
Saints Bro, Sapphire Shores, Silver Spoon, Snails Snerd, Snips Sanderson, Sunset Shimmer, Suri Polomare, Sweetie Belle, Unimpo- wait huh? He looked over the records once more. There was only one T attending Canterlot High, and her name was "Twinkle Star". As he was about to grab Shimmer's record, the door swung open.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Came the obnoxiously loud shout of Vice Principal Luna, capable of being heard from halfway across the school, over the marching band tryouts. Grasping his ears, Agent Black sat up, having the foresight to close the drawer above that one, lest he suffer a similar fate to Shemp or Curly.
"M-ma'am," He said, not quite expecting the second in command to have powers to shatter ear-drums from across packed rooms. "I am Agent Black of the FBI. Your sister said it wa-"
"MY SISTER HAS NO AUTHORITY OVER MY DEPARTMENTS!" She screamed, his head close to caving in.
"Miss Luna, please lower the volume of your voice! I just need to-"
"GET OUT!" The Agent, in too much pain to reach for his stun-gun, ran out the door empty handed... and into a trophy case, ending up like Moe and Larry.
Meanwhile, Agent Gregory was dealing with a headache of his own. Snips and Snails refused to talk unless they were together. Now that they were they insisted they were thirsty. Then they wanted a tour of the facility. THEN they wouldn't shut up! He wouldn't have minded if it weren't for the fact the information they were telling him was completely useless!
"And then Trixie ran away crying from the packed gymnasium because we messed up her magic act, that's when we met Sunset Shimmer!" Snails said, FINALLY getting to the point.
"Wait. How was that trick supposed to work?" Asked Snips... and they got side-tracked again.
"Well, you see, she stuck us in a coffin, then she pressed a button and it turned us around, replacing us with a bunny!"
"So we didn't get sent to a magical realm like she promised?"
"...I don't know... Maybe it was just a really dark magical realm?"
"Boys. Please, get back to Sunset Shimmer." He said, wishing he'd taking the bottle of aspirins from home.
"Oh, yeah! Sunset Shimmer!" Snails said, smiling. "Well, she said it was the funniest thing she'd ever seen and that we were really cool!"
Snips nodded, the quarter of a brain the two shared slowly remembering. "Yeah! She said that if we helped her from then on we could be in her clique! ...Click? Cleckyou?"
"And you took the deal?"
"Well... yeah. All we had to do was hurt some kids, take Twilight's dog, steal a few pictures, sneak into a few rooms, smash a few things..." Snails began.
"Help make that funny video, take a bunch'a stuff from other kids, and follow her plans to rule the school!" Snips said, finishing.
"And you are aware that you have just confessed to bullying, vandalism, assault, dognapping, breaking and entering, petty theft, slander, attempted mayhem, and conspiracy? And that at least two of those are felonies in this state?"
"...If we say yes, will you tell us what a felony is?" Snips asked.
As Black got up, his first day of investigation definitely being more fruitful than expected while paradoxically giving more questions than answers, he took out Flash's poem once more to continue it as he left Canterlot High.
"Sister?" Vice Principal Luna asked, stepping into Principal Celestia's office. "Why did you let some random stranger wander the school, invade the students privacy, and give him the key to every room?" Celestia sighed, sitting down.
"Because dear sister, I was distracted with something else and he's part of the FBI! We can't turn him down or he'll believe that something's up!"
"But if he finds out the truth who knows what will hap-"
"Sister, dear sister... relax. He'll never find out the truth. How long has this been secret?"
"Twenty years..."
"And one little slip-up won't unravel the whole thing! He'll move on, cover it up, and we'll get back to life as normal... now get back to work, if we're going to go on vacation you're going to need to hold those parent-teacher conferences." Luna nodded, leaving the room to Principal Celestia.
"Although... it may be a good idea to keep an eye on him..." Celestia took out her personal computer and looked over the staff listing. "Mister Discord... no, he was arrested... again. Professor Sombra? ...No, he's been busy with chemistry experiments. Miss Chrysalis is on Maternity Leave..."
Night had fallen on Canterlot High as Agent Black watched those being held march to their cells. Except for one Pinkie Pie, described as everything from "Magic" to "Insane" by the students of Canterlot High School. As he entered the room, he blinked, confused at the sight of the mare toying with the table lamp, using it as a flashlight. Childlike wonder filled the agent for a brief second before he shook it off.
"Ahem..."
"Oh! Hello! I'm Pinkie Pie." She smiled, seeming not to understand why she was there, although she did set down the lamp. "You're Agent Black!" She said, happily.
"...H-how did you...? Nevermind. That's not important. I need to ask a few questions about your friend, Twilight Sparkle." She smiled so wide he swore it would fall off her face.
"Oh I thought you'd NEVER ask! I wanted to be the one who told about Twilight, but I was worried the others would be asked first! Well, it aaaaaallll started about three days ago! Kinda... Well, Shimmer went through a portal in the statue and stole this reaaally nice crown that looked just like the one for the dance! So then she came back, but Fluttershy found the crown first and gave it to Principal Celestia, then Twilight showed up and A BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS HAPPENED!" She declared, ecstatic. "Then we became friends! Then she made the rest of us friends! And then sh-"
"No, I mean... she must have told you what happened before she came from the "portal" in the statue." He said, glad to have gotten a lead on the case, even if it was something as inane as that.
"Well, she's a pony princess from a magical land of Equestria which is a land of OTHER talking horses, and came through the portal looking for a magical element that Sunset Shimmer stole from her world!" She smiled again, the agent blinking at this dump of information.
"And... she told this to you?"
"Well, kinda! I asked her if all that was true and she said yes! And so did her adorable little puppy!"
"...Have you or your friends been ingesting narcotics or hallucinogenics at any point of this adventure?" She gasped, holding her left hand to her chest.
"NEVER! I would never do anything like that! I was part of the Drug Resistance And Control Under Los Angeles!"
"...D.R.A.C.U.L.A.?" The agent asked.
"Yep yep yepper!"
"Well, thank you for your time Miss Pie. We'll still need to keep you for questioning, but for now you have to go to bed." She nodded and began standing up, yawning a bit.
"Yeah, I probably should hit the hay... it's been saying things about me behind my back!" She giggled at her own joke as Agent Black let her go.
Principal Celestia groaned as she shut her laptop, everybody at school busy or on holiday... this should have been expected, it was Homecoming.
"This isn't working out, is it?" Came Luna's voice.
"No sister... but I will not let him find anything, this secret is far too valuable. I'll just use the monitors, and whenever he goes too close to something I'll bring him here from the intercom."
"And if that doesn't work?" Celestia was silent.
"We'll just have to hope it does."
The next morning was dark and rainy, but it was Saturday anyway so nobody showed up other than a few who were taking specific lessons, were in Drama Club, or worked in the building. And Agent Black, of course. As he stepped out of the black sedan that dropped him off, his black rain-coat taking the brunt of the assault, he wondered about the statue. Of all the things to be a portal, why a statue? Why not a wall or window or even a doorway? Perhaps it was because it was sturdier, or that the symbol of the horse atop the stone slab was some kind of supernatural signal.
Assuming there was a portal, of course! The agent quickly reassured himself. As he approached the statue, he began looking it over. This thing caused problems on a surprisingly large scale, and not just because it was a popular vandalism spot. Since the founding of the school, the "Wonder Colt" (a stallion supposedly possessing the ability to grow crops by simply stepping on a patch of land) stood careful watch over every major event in the state's history (except for the ones behind him, of course).
Rounding the corner behind the statue he found quite a few kids gathered behind it.
"Hey, clear out. FBI." He said, shooing off the group and turning back to it. It was a standard marble statue, easily crafted but unlikely to be broken anytime soon. It'd take no less than a sledgehammer to destroy this thing. As he rubbed the base he found, unsurprisingly, no portal pulled him to another mystical and wonderful world. He didn't slowly clamber out into a world of tiny equines who looked similar to a school principal. None of that, just a wet, smooth surface. Smiling, he got up and began walking towards the building, his faith restored that this was all just one weird story.
He then fell down into the crater, his mind too focused on his job.
Meanwhile, in the large city of San Francisco, a man sat down with his family as he turned on the evening news. In his nice two story house, his daughter read a book while her mother edited one of her client's novels. His son was due back from the war any day now and the dog was sleeping on the center of the floor. As he popped open a bottle of beer and took off his work hat, he realized it was the end of a good day and potentially the beginning of a great night.
Until of course, he saw the night's top story. As he spat out his drink all over his dog, his nice chair, and the carpeted floor his mind raced to thousands of different conclusions.
"Twily?! Why're you and Spike on the evening news!?"
The girl looked up, horrified as she saw a visage of her with wings, ears, and a tail. "I-I-I, What?!"
The dog yipped and ran behind the couch, started at the sudden spray of drink.
"If you've seen this girl and this dog, call this number immediately!" The announcer said, a phone number flashing on the screen. As she saw her photo and her father and mother looking at her, her mind raced. First the youtube video, now this? Who was this girl trying to make her life a living Hell, and how come she looked exactly like her?
"Dad, l-lemme explain..." She said, not quite sure how she'd explain.
"Twily! Of all the boneheaded, idiotic, dangerous-" The TV cut him off.
"Yes, this girl is a hero! Her and her magic talking dog!" None of the three expected that to be the next statement from the reporter’s mouth as they turned back at the TV. It cut to an interview.
"Well, you see, there was this crazy lady right?" A nerdy kid said, clearly not used to being filmed. "Her name was Sunset Shimmer! A-and she took this crown! And she turned into this monster! Then she zapped us and when we woke up, Twilight Sparkle and her friends were like... superheroes or something! They were glowing and had horse ears and tails and wings an-" He was cut off by amateur footage of the event, filmed with a cell-phone camera at an odd angle from being dropped to the floor.
"Yes, it seems Los Angeles has a few Angels indeed!" The reporter said, chuckling. "We now go to Sarah with the latest update on the Pineapple Drought in Michigan."
Silence filled the room as they stared at the normal inane gibberish usually shown on the news, not quite understanding what they'd seen seconds before. Except for Spike, who had begun licking off the beer stains from the floor.
As the agent warmed up in the teacher's lounge, he dug everything out of his pockets to let them dry, the next part of Brad's poem sitting out before him.
"I recall way back when we were together
When every moment felt like a pleasure.
The time with you was worth more than treasure,
and how I miss that silver and gold
when I thought together we'd grow old."
Moaning, the agent looked up at Celestia, who'd taken it upon herself to baby him.
"You don't have to do this, ma'am." He said, shivering as a nice warm blue cotton blanket was wrapped around him.
"Nonsense. We both work for the government, we're practically co-workers." She smiled, going to the microwave. "Beef or chicken soup?"
"Chicken." He sneezed, unhappy that a day of investigation would be wasted being waited on by a suspect.
The agent sighed as he took a shower, still in the High School. He wouldn't mind so much if Principal Celestia didn't ke-
"How's it coming?" She asked from outside doorway, scaring the shit out of him.
"Stop DOING THAT!" He commanded, finally getting the rest of the mud off of him and grabbing a towel. "There's a fine line between a practical joke and sexual harassment!" He reminded, slightly thankful the janitor had been kind enough to loan him a spare jumpsuit as he dried off.
"Calm down!" She said, her voice happy. "I'm not even in the same room, you have nothing on me."
"Just... give me a few moments. I'll be very pleased if you don't share that I spent most of the day of investigation under your care."
"I would NEVER dare to do that." She reassured. "By the way, some of our students have sold their footage to the media..." She said, almost idly. "I saw my girls on the front page of the paper."
"WHAT?!" He ran out of the locker room, dripping wet and half-dressed as he yanked the jumpsuit on, upside-down. She handed him a copy of the Times, It was black and white and read all over, he'd spent two days figuring out what happened while everyone in the country had it hand-delivered to them!
"H-how, what, why?!" He looked up at Celestia.
"Maybe detaining only eight kids in a class of 312 has something to do with that?" She asked, giving him the trash-bag filled with his ruined clothes. "I doubt you'll be investigating very much longer if you don't find something the papers haven't." She smirked. "Good luck with that. I have to go work on the Awareness rally week after next." She left him alone in the halls, his blue jumpsuit dripping warm water and his hands getting covered in newspaper ink.
Before she knew it, Twilight Sparkle was being escorted out of her house by the police, Spike being dragged along in a dog carrier. Her parents looked horrified as this happened, not knowing whether to cry or try to save her.
"Where are you taking me?" She asked, the policeman ignoring her and continuing his run through the Miranda rights. They placed her and Spike in the back of a squad car and began driving.
"Just relax ma'am, you're going in for questioning, nothing more, nothing less." One of them said. "That was some pretty impressive stuff back there, though. Flying around like a superhero, shooting a goddamned laser... man, we're lucky to be able to keep you in here at all." He chuckled. "You're even luckier. Thing like that on national television? Surprised your apartment wasn't swarmed by crazies."
Twilight ignored the man's rambling, trying to think of a way out of this as she tried to comfort Spike. If they believed she had superpowers she could bluff her way out... but that wouldn't be right. Plus, she'd probably be shot the moment she began running. She needed to figure out what the hell was going on just as much as the police did. As the car came to the station two people, a man and a woman wearing black suits, earpieces, and sunglasses, walked over and talked to the officers.
"Here she is, and her little dog too." The officer chuckled as the agents rolled their eyes. Approaching the back they silently opened the door and escorted her and Spike to an unmarked black sedan. The two agents began discussing the absurdity of this whole issue, one on the side that it was completely plausible and in fact embraced it while the other pointed out flaws and inaccuracies raised by this situation, which the other agent would then try to justify by pointing to other cases.
Of course, this just confused Twilight even more.
"Can we turn on the radio?" She finally asked, hoping music would calm her nerves. Of course, the agents refused. As she looked over herself she remembered her cell-phone. Grabbing for it, she frowned. What good would a cell-phone do her? The only people she had the phone numbers for were her parents and her brother.
Defeated, she slumped in the back of the car, going back to petting Spike.
As Vice Principal Luna watched Shimmer, the she began noticing a pattern of Sunset staring at her and Celestia not with the look of sadness she'd given Twilight, or the thankfulness she'd given to the others. Her looks were those of smugness, of superiority, like when she had been placed in detention. Something was wrong, but she didn't know what.
Shimmer looked at her watch, getting up from the bricks she'd been stacking and heading towards the cafeteria for lunch, the guards and Luna following closely behind. Lunch Lady Smith was at home, taking care of her grandchildren, but that didn't matter much. It seemed everyday Shimmer brought her own lunch from home anyway. As the future convict took her tofu dogs and small salad out before her, Luna sat across the cafeteria, taking out her own lunch. It was odd, she thought, that Shimmer invoked the eco-kids to make the cafeteria sell "Non-meat alternatives" if she herself never ate there anyway. Rumors why ranged from everything like "she got bored and wanted to waste some time between ruining other kids' lives" or "that she used to live with animals so it was jarring to see everyone eating them".
Of course, no one assumed the last one to be true in the way it was... except for Mister Discord before he was dragged away for using Napalm in his homemade carpet cleaner. Once he came back, he seemed to focus less on Shimmer for some reason. This also had varying reasons of guesses ranging fro- wait, where was she going?
Shimmer got up to use to use the restroom, the two agents stationed outside because, job or not, they weren't gonna risk a sexual harassment suit for following a minor into the woman's restroom. The Vice Principal had no such worries and waltzed right in... finding Shimmer halfway through a small skylight. Gasping, she ran over and yanked Shimmer out of the window.
"What on EARTH are you doing?" The adult asked, huffing and puffing. The student, frowning at Luna, put on some puppy dog eyes and a heart-melting out-stretched lip. "No, I am NOT falling for that Miss Shimmer." Shimmer dropped the act, unhappy.
"Escaping, Miss Luna. I was escaping. It doesn't take Doctor Sombra's ten year diploma to figure that out." Luna rolled her eyes, wondering why between her, Discord, and Sombra everything seemed to happen ten years ago.
"Get out, Shimmer. Go back to your meal and I'll let this slide." This made Shimmer smirk. She proceeded to chuckle for a little bit.
"No." She finally said. "Miss Luna, I think we both know something you don't want spilling..." She smirked as Luna frowned.
"They'd never believe you. I don't believe you. There's no way you know..." She whispered, savvy of the agents at the door.
"Perhaps you should have kept your things better hidden Miss Luna..." She also adopted a whisper. "You're lucky it was ME who found it and not some unknowing human, hm? I'm sure the FBI would LOVE to know the secret of little Lyra Hearts-" Luna covered Shimmer's mouth.
"You wouldn't dare..."
"Try me, Princess." She said, smirking. "You can't touch me or you two will be behind bars for far longer than I ever would be." Luna shuddered, one thought sticking out in her mind.
"How did you find out?"
"You know how I was Celestia's student? Turns out having political connections give you some important information!" Shimmer smirked. "Of course, there are thousands of millions of infinite universes. How was I to know this one and ours were the proper two?" Luna frowned, realizing what she was getting at. "Turns out, Miss Luna, that leaving your file drawers unlocked around trouble students is a very grave mistake."
"You won't get away with this. You can't fight off a grown woman, Sunset."
"Oh no, my escape plan wasn't right now, Miss Luna. After all, you still need to tell Principal Celestia about what I know... but for now, let's get back to lunch."
As Vice Principal made a mental note to lock the windows in the restrooms, she followed the student to the lunch room. As Luna watched her devilish grin she knew two would have to play at this game.
Agent Black sighed, returning to his car. The day'd been awful; he'd lost investigation time, been waited on hand and foot by Celestia, and the local news had followed more leads than he even had in the first place. Moaning to himself and turning on the engine, slowly leaving the parking lot, he took one last look at Flash's note.
The new kid's done something wrong,
She's run and rejected my feigned affection,
I worry if this will ruin the plan's direction.
I fear the flames of my heart grow dimmer,
It's as if we'll never be together, Sunset Shimmer.
"What the fu-" He collided into Principal Luna's car, setting off her alarm and his air bag.
Twilight carried Spike closely as they were lead to the holding cells. She pet her dog, worried this may in fact be the last time they ever saw each other. She whispered encouraging words to herself as she handed the agents her dog.
"It's OK Spike, it'll be just fine..." It was clear by the tone of her voice she didn't believe this either. Walking into her Cell, Twilight would find a teenage girl, about her age, sleeping on a bed opposite of an empty one. She wore an a series of western-based gear, unusual prison attire given their location, and she wore a ten gallon hat over her blond hair. She'd covered her face with it, using it as a sleep mask. Twilight wondered who this girl was, and why she'd been placed in this cell instead of her own.
Yawning and laying down on her own cot, she still couldn't sleep. She was worried about her family and Spike.
Agent Black sat in the hospital, waiting for a visitor. A small fender bender was nothing to be worried about, but he'd need to be tested for a concussion regardless. Agent Gregory finally entered the room at about one in the morning. Normally, visiting hours ended at 9, but a quick flash of his badge persuaded the nurse at the counter otherwise.
"You needed to talk to me?"
"Yes, look at this." Agent Black handed him the page of Flash's poems.
"Kid's definitely not a poet."
"He plays bass for a reason, but that's not the issue. Read the last line." Gregory frowned.
"How long have you had this?"
"Two days, but I don't think the kid knows I have it. His name's Flash Sentry, I didn't think it was important but-"
"But you were mistaken, I'll be taking the case from now on." Agent Black joined in on the frowning.
"You don't have the jurisdiction."
"You're in the hospital with a possible head injury, I think they won't listen to you anyway." Agent Gregory began leaving, his colleague swearing about losing this case.
As Agent Gregory read through the poems, he recalled a novel detailing a race of aliens who'd do something like this... except this was somehow worse. Heading out the door and pocketing the note, he bemoaned the fact his last coworker had retired. Zack would have made this case so much more bearable.
Flash sighed as he sat in bed. Yet another sleepless night was passing him by as he thought about the events of Prom. Yes, he'd gotten a gig worth a good chunk of change, possibly even enough to produce his band's first CD, but that woman was still in his head... It didn't make sense. Shimmer was his girlfriend, but Twilight was more than just a girl. He'd seen that, but just as soon as she had appeared she'd vanished. He'd talked to his father about it, but he just said it was teenage lust leading him into trouble, and that if he decided to follow her he wouldn't be a man, he'd be one of those characters tossed into a story solely to fall in love.
Perhaps he needed that? Perhaps fate had chosen him as a pawn to be the one who... no, that's ridiculous. He was a C student with a bass and she was some sort of weird half-human/half-angel super-creature who could throw him from the highest building in the country and then kill him by CATCHING him. There was no way in Hell he'd be the one paired with her...
"Flash?" Came his mother's voice. "Flash sweetie, there's someone down here who wants to talk to you." The blue-haired teen checked his clock radio, frowning.
"...Mom, it's 11:39, who on earth would want to talk to me at this hour?"
"It-" She stuttered, not sure how to say this.
"The FBI!" Came the gruff and clearly upset voice of his father, cutting of his mother.
Flash sat up suddenly, horrified. "Oh shit, oh shit... J-just gimme a second, mom! I'm going to the bathroom!" He said, trying to think what to do. Leaping out the window would leave him breaking his legs, he learned that as a child thrice-fold. He looked around his room, hiding in the closet or under the bed were childish options at best and laughable at worst. No, he had to be a man about this. He needed to tell the truth.
As Flash lay in the back of a sleek-black sedan with two men eyeing him from the front seats, mumbling about how much of an idiot he was, Flash regretted telling the truth. Yes, he and Sunset had a relationship, and yes they'd had sex but the way they were treating him you'd have thought he'd been caught with a horse. Besides, she's hot! Even after she turned into a hell-beast he couldn't refuse the idea that he'd totally take her back to his house for a- No! Flash, focus! You've seen this movie, you just need to open the door, then tuck and roll. Then you'll have to move to another state under a new name and find a one-armed guy to take th-
"We're here." One of the two said from the front seat. As he sat up and looked outside, the ominous black building did very little to make Flash want to stay. Sighing, Flash got out of the car and let himself be lead to the building, turning back only to grab his bass. As they lead him through blindingly white hallways, Flash tried to think on what they'd want of him. Sure two women he was attracted to turned out to be super powered she-men with enough power between them to destroy an entire city but surely they'd believe it was just a coincidence once he told them, right?
They lead Flash to a dark room where they tossed him and his bass into a cell.
"Big day tomorrow, kid. You're gonna be talking quite a bit, so try not to stray from your story, hm?" One of them said, slamming the door. Sighing and getting up slowly, Flash searched his cell for a light switch. With a click, his eyes adjusting to the sudden shift in lights as he saw a figure laying on the cot opposite of what he assumed was his.
As he looked at her orange and red hair, his iris shrunk to pin-pricks. As he saw her yellow skin he opened his mouth to scream. As he saw her shift in her sleep, he backed to the cell door. Turning around, Flash shook the door, squealing in fear for guards to come rescue him. As he heard her lanky form slowly get out of her bed, he rattled futilely on the bars.
"Oh, it's you..." came the voice he feared since the day they'd broken up. The voice that echoed through his and every mind in Canterlot High that fateful night for five or so minutes. As he turned around, nearly reaching the breaking point as he saw the woman he'd never wanted to speak to again.
Sunset Shimmer grabbed him by his shirt collar and slammed him against a wall. Between the force and his mental breakdown, Sentry left the land of the conscious, collapsing to the floor. As the two return, they saw Flash collapsed against the cell doors, while Sunset Shimmer slept in her dark room.
Morning came to the cells like a hummingbird to a sweet flower, shining bright rays upon the unfortunates stored there. Snips and Snails had been given to the local police to serve in Juvenile Hall, kept under surveillance in case they were needed for investigation once more.
One by one the eight prisoners awoke and were escorted out to shower, get dressed, and finally to eat. Applejack had a habit of waking up bright and early, having lived and worked on a farm all her life. She noticed someone sleeping on the bunk opposite of her, but was rushed out before she was identified. Twilight awoke next, leaving before any of the others spotted her. Then Sunset Shimmer, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Fluttershy woke up around the same time. Flash finally regained consciousness soon after and Rainbow woke up only when the guards pulled her out of bed.
The process was short and sweet. They were locked in a windowless bathroom and given ten minutes. They would slide their old clothes into the laundry chute and shower. At the end of this, they would put on the orange jumpsuit provided. Somehow, every single one of them had managed to screw this up.
It started simple: Applejack refused to leave her hat, then Twilight forgot to take off her socks in the shower, then Sunset neglected to turn off the shower. Pinkie Pie had a bit too much fun with the laundry chute and tossed the only roll of toilet paper down there, which lead to Rarity being stuck while they had to find another roll. It took over half an hour to convince her to take a shower without "moisturizer and conditioner" from the most prestigious of locations, soap made from the finest creams, and a loofah, then she complained about the outfit. Flash kept passing out and had to have someone with him to ensure he didn't injure himself. Rainbow sang loudly and obnoxiously. Fluttershy was the only one to not cause any issues.
The were allowed into a cafeteria, where they would wait in line for gruel. All eyes were on Twilight, the room being deathly silent as the six people sat at the same table as her, Shimmer staying as far away from the group as possible, burning anger filling her very being as she saw the mare who'd ruined her perfect plan. With her back-stabbing ex as well!
Twilight fared no better either, seven random people were suddenly following her around, asking her questions about how she got there, about "moons" and "Equestria". The poor girl just wanted to eat this... whatever the hell they'd given her. After fifteen minutes of chatter she'd finished her breakfast and had thought of a plan.
"OK... let's try this one at a time. One question per person, starting clockwise, starting with you." She pointed to Pinkie Pie. This was the biggest mistake she'd made in the past 24 hours. Pinkie took a deep breath and let loose.
"Howcomeyou'rebacksosoonIthoughtittook30moonsfortheportaltorechargeandit'sbeenlessthanaweek,issitbecausetimegoesfasterwhereyou'refromordidyoufindaspellorareyoufromanotheruniversethatopenedupwhe-" Thankfully, Applejack was able to silence her.
"I... I think I caught the beginning of that? I'm not... back. I just got here." Twilight answered, unknowingly opening the floodgates for other questions that you, as readers, already know the answers of.
To recap: She did not know any of them personally or otherwise (something that collectively broke their hearts), her dog could not talk, she did not have a wrath-of-the-gods level battle with Sunset Shimmer, nor did she know her either, she did not sleep in the school library, did not know what Equestria is, and was just as, if not more, confused as the rest of them. As they were lead back to the Cells, Flash was taken from the rest of them, being dragged away by guards.
"What's with that guy?" Twilight asked.
"He's Flash Sentry. He had a crush on you... erm, the other you." Fluttershy said, watching as the boy had passed out once more.
Flash sat alone in a black room, the only light coming from a small lamp on the table. He would talk to himself about episodes of MacGyver he'd seen like this and try turning off the lamp before forgetting what he was doing. This repeated at least three times, and naturally, the observers behind the two-way window were getting worried about this boy's mental health.
"Was he like this before he got here?" One asked the other as Flash lay his head on the table, about to try and nap.
"No, not that we've seen... according to security tapes and what we gathered from his peers he's a plucky young man with an affection for music. Perhaps we should bring him to the hospital?"
"What if it's a trick?"
"If it isn't then we'll be in far more trouble than if it was... We'll interrogate him there. Keep the others in the dark about his where-a-bouts."
The principals Luna and Celestia stood before a safe in the wall, previously hidden behind a painting. Long uncomfortable silence loomed overhead as they tried to think of another way around this.
"We could lobotomi-" Luna began.
"No, that's too cruel." Celestia interrupted, "We could move away, to another country."
"They would realize that something was up if we vanished, then they'd find the safe anyway." The blue sister mumbled. "We could frame Professor Sombra, he-"
"Nay sister, we will have to face this ourselves. There is no other option."
Celestia pulled open the safe, brushing aside her birth certificate, her family heirlooms, her signed Abbey Road album, and her ex-husband's wedding ring. Behind that was a false wall, she pushed over and revealed the secret to herself and her sister. The secret they alone held... in this universe at least. As Celestia pulled out a bronze book, Luna remembered the fateful day they'd found it.
It was long ago, they were newly appointed to their job. They were just teachers back then, Luna a gym teacher, Celestia a science teacher. They had no clue about their grander role in the scheme of things.
A cloudy Spring afternoon, Luna was doing drills with the track team. She'd instructed them to run around the school while she sat on the front steps. Silently, she pondered if it was gonna rain before a loud thump interrupted her thoughts. A quick look around, she saw it beside the statue. Grabbing it, she gasped as another hand reached for it from the statue.
The fight or flight response (Also known as hyper-arousal or the acute stress response) is, in simple terms, when your body produces adrenaline or cortisol in the sudden event when a perceived threat arrives. As such your body allows various effects to help you in fighting or fleeing from whatever perceived threat had startled you. As the perceived time came to a stand-still, Luna chose to fight. As she shrieked and began stomping the disembodied hand, she heard a similar shriek emerge from the statue. As the hand withdrew, another being would be feeling a similar response, and unfortunately for Luna, it also chose fight.
As the thing came from the statue and tackled her, it became a truly bizarre spectacle. A flurry of punching and grunting followed as Luna rolled atop the other fighter and slammed her head against the pavement repeatedly. Somewhere in this finisher, Luna gasped and let go of her would-be attacker.
"Tia!? Wha- how? Why did you-?"
"...Luna?" She moaned, confused. "Why are you doing this?"
The darker sister got off of her, assisting her up. "Celestia, what are you doing out here? What's with the book and the statue? Why aren't you teaching class?"
"Sister... sister... Sister!" Vice Principal Luna snapped out of her memory by the voice of her older sibling.
"Oh, sorry... What will we do with the book?" Luna asked
"We'll burn it."
In a bunk in the local hospital, Flash found himself hooked up to several machines, as well as cuffed to the side of the bed. Naturally, this confused the boy. Looking around his location, he was able to see a window to the outside (as opposed to windows to other rooms). He saw the grand FBI headquarters in the distance, looming over small normal houses like a behemoth of bland and featureless architecture. He pondered how the place stayed cool on hot summer days and if the agents ever felt stuffy in those rooms, but he was getting off-track. As he was about to summon someone to ask questions, he heard the door to his room open.
"Mister Sentry, is it?" An agent asked, getting close to him. "I need to ask a few questions and I hope you will comply."
"Uh... I don't have much of a choice, do I?"
"Tell me about your girlfriend, Sunset Shimmer."
Flash laughed softly. "She's not my girlfriend and is that what all this is about?"
"Of course not... but you were, at one point, in a relationship, correct?" Flash looked away and nodded softly. He flipped open a notebook, writing down his response.
"And how... close was this relationship?"
"I really don't want to answer that... Can I plead the fifth?" He asked, ushering a frowning response from the interrogator.
"...Fine. Tell me more about Sunset Shimmer, preferably from the beginning."
"Uh... well... it all started in sixth grade. I'd just moved to here a-"
"Moved here." The interrogator interrupted. "It's "moved here" not "moved to here". Moved to here is gram-"
"Does this matter? ...As I was saying, It was in the sixth grade..."
"I'd just moved here from Hollywood, my father had gotten a transfer from his last job." Flash began, adjusting himself in his hospital bed. "I was a sporty, outgoing kid," he said, lying through his teeth.
In reality, Flash was an overweight social outcast. He looked like a dork, acted like a dork, and got excellent grades... like a dork. Problems with Flash's childhood began to disappear when he tried to flirt with the toughest woman in school, a woman that despised all and abused many. Her hair burned like a house fire and her leather boots and vest were rumored to have been made from her enemies. Of course, we're talking about Miss Sunset Shimmer.
Nobody was brave or stupid enough to ask to be with her. The day he finally broke that taboo was the day everyone saw him in a new light, and the day he'd gone to the hospital for the first time. Normally, a back-breaker would be enough to coerce most men from daring to tread this landscape again, but not young, stupid Flash Sentry.
Flash began to better himself in different ways. First, he exercised to lose weight (a step that took him almost all of his elementary school life). Once he was thin, he began to try and learn a musical instrument. After trying to serenade her with an accordion, a flute, and the cymbals, he discovered his innate ability with the bass.
The final step was the most difficult one: If he wanted her heart, he had to be popular. Studying under classic cool guys like the Fonz, John Travolta, and Garfield the cat he set out to be the most popular boy in school. After several weeks of being remembered as "the idiot who broke the jukebox", "the disco dweeb", and "that guy who keeps making fun of me" Flash was losing hope, but, like a bolt from the blue, Flash's chance came with the talent show.
A group of kids (who would later be part of the founding of Shimmer's Rocker clique) approached Flash, asking him to play Bass. Despite having to bring the drinks to the practice sessions and being the only one to show up on multiple occasions while the others ditched him, Flash's performance helped land his band first in the talent show. With this came his split of the prize money ($25), a shot in the local papers (who misspelled his last name as "Century"), and, most importantly to the story, Shimmer's cold, black, icy heart.
That's when he learned of Equestria. After several nights together; several long, passionate, not at all family friendly nights, she told Flash of a far off land she saw in her dreams. A land of magic and mystery, a land she knew all too well was real. She asked him to help, to take her to rule the school. He said yes, despite not at all knowing what this constituted. Her grandest of plans had begun coming together, and Flash was the key. The morning after she'd hired Flash things began falling apart for the school. It started simply, very simply.
"Flash," he recalled Sunset saying. "There's a few errands I need run." The place was the front of the statue, and the time was 9 AM. Sunset was wearing her usual leather attire, and Flash was wearing a nice white t-shirt. She had, however, carried a dufflebag with her to school, and by the looks of it, it was rather heavy. She put on a conniving, evil smile and hefted the bag into Flash's arms. This confirmed the bag was, in fact, very heavy. "I need you to put this stuff in a few lockers." The moment she let go, Flash fell to the ground atop the bag. "Pick yourself up, there's more."
"But it's a saturday, nobody'll let me in to put... what's in here anyways?" Flash leaned over to unzip the bag and gasped in horror. "Beer!"
"Not beer, I'll have you know that is premium grade whiskey, and you're lucky none of it broke! Put those in these lockers." She handed him a list.
"I don't think tha-"
"Flash, you agreed to help me reach the land of my dreams didn't you?"
"Well yes, but-"
"It just so happens my plan is very complicated and involves a bunch of people getting thrown under the bus."
"But that's breaking and entering! And I have a bag full of whiskey! And a list! Kids have gone to prison for having a list!"
"Yes Flash, I know how big a deal this is, but think of it as a test. You'd climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea, fight the most powerful man for me, but you won't commit a few misdemeanors? Your dad's a cop, you'll never get anything pinned on you."
"But what do I get out of this?"
"More time with me~" She said, rubbing her finger lovingly across his chest.
"And two days later seventeen kids were expelled and the Goth clique were completely gone." Flash said, the agent staring at him.
"Flash we'll... we'll definitely be talking to you again. Just, just get some rest." The agent stood up, a might bothered at his composure throughout the story.
"Don't! It feels good to finally tell someone about that stuff!" He said. "Confession's good for the soul, right?" He asked, the agent sighing.
"Here." The agent tosses the boy a tape recorder. "Talk all you want to that. Don't leave out any details, got it? You might know something about Shimmer we'll need.
There were two things Spike knew, as a dog: Twilight was his best friend, and she only put him in a cage when something bad was happening. He was not sure how long he'd been in a cage, they'd moved him to another one afterwards and this one didn't smell familiar. Twilight at least was there in the first one, but now he howled and yipped and whined to try and get her to return. Occasionally an angry-looking man in black would show up and give him food and water, but it did nothing to quell the emptiness in him.
Except he was a dog, so he had no idea what emptiness was, nor loss, he was too simple for those concepts. He knew what sadness was though, and as he kept howling he hoped it would go away. Twilight made the sadness go away, even when she was not feeling happy she made him happy. She'd never been gone this long, not as far as his doggy mind could remember at least. He lay down, staring out his cage at the metal room he was placed in. There were some men in white earlier, and they had poked him with their writing sticks, but they were gone now. Just like Twilight.