> The Overlord
>  by Space Wizard Novablast
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Prologue
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So boooored!"

The Overlord, that was all he called himself and it was what everyone referred to him as, was sitting on his gigantic throne made of bones, obsidian, and the virginities of a thousand nuns, he was convinced he had forgotten some of the other components, but right now they slipped his mind. He was resting his head on his arm while listening to the complaints of one of his most trusted minions. Kazakh, bringer of death and crude humor.

"Silence Kazakh, or I'll cut your head off and stuff it where the sun doesn't shine!"

The second of his most trusted, Morbidus, magician of pestilence and farts. Like the other of his minions, he was an imp, of the slightly more intelligent blue variant. But Morbidus had very early on displayed intelligence that far surpassed those of his blue brethren.

"What sun?" Kazakh threw his small red arms into the air, "when our master came to power he brought upon eternal night." He quickly turned toward his master in question, The Overlord, with a sincere apology, "which I am greatly appreciative of, of course." Before he turned back towards his blue counterpart. "But there is nothing for us to do!"

Morbidus merely snorted, "go torture the filthy citizens if you're that bored of living in the castle!" The blue imp was playing with a small mouse, occasionally letting it escape and then catching it by the tail.

"But that's boring too!" Kazakh whined, slamming a fist at the ground, "if only there was more to conquer!"

The overlord tapped his armored chin thoughtfully, shining red orbs completing the visage of a 'Dark lord' as it was. Although he actually preferred the name Dark Magician. "For once in your life your suggestions might be of use Kazakh." The small imp turned toward his master with a puzzled expression before smiling broadly and nodding enthusiastically, "of course, of course!"

The Overlord rose from his chair, his armor creaking and rattling as he stepped down and started walking out of the throne room. Most of his guards bowed deeply, those few who didn't he obliterated by a mere thought, leaving the cleanup imps with quite the job on their small ugly hands.

He reached a small chamber with more of his ugly guards stationed out front. While the red, green, and blue imps were fairly intelligent, the brown ones whom acted as his foot soldiers and now guards were completely brain dead. You could've replaced their brains with a handful of dirt and people wouldn't have noted any difference, besides a slight rise in intelligence.

The brown imps quickly scurried off to the side and bowed as the doors opened before the overlord. Inside was a huge ornate room with runes running along the walls and bookshelves filled with mystical tomes and ancient scrolls holding immense knowledge. But that was not his subject of interest. Rather, it was the person who kept this place in order.

"Corvernus!" He yelled, his voice bouncing off the walls and reaching the subject of interest, "Your master requires your pitiful existence for a short time!"

A small crooked man with beady eyes and a pair of reading glasses balanced on his beak-like nose hurried from behind a bookshelf to bow before the overlord. "Greetings master, lord of the inferno, banisher of the light, slaughterer of the innoce-"

The overlord abruptly cut him off with a slight shake of his head. The rattling of his armor bringing the librarian and subsequent wizard back to his eye level.

"What is it you need great lord?" He asked, rubbing his skeleton like hands together while grinning like a madman. It was common fact that Corvernus dabbled in dark magic, and it has subsequently driven him crazy, both were things the overlord appreciated greatly.

"Would there happen to be a spell within this pitiful excuse for a library that would enable me to travel between worlds?" He looked around searchingly for any scrolls with indications on them. But like the paranoid master that both he and Corvernus was, there was no labels. So a magical scroll could grant you either the untold power of the elements, or turn you into a frog.

"Why yes there is my lord," Corvernus nodded enthusiastically while rubbing his hands together, "as a matter of fact it is quite a simple spell." He waved his hand toward a table. "I can send you off immediately if it pleases you."

"It would please me immensely my dear servant." The overlord said, empty voice completely contrasting the childlike glee he was feeling. A new world, new places to explore, new races to murder, new methods of torture to be attempted, new lords to corrupt, it was almost too good to be true.

"Then please my lord, I have some delightful options for you right here!" He indicated a hand towards a few different maps, each of them with a new landscape the overlord had never seen before.

"Please inform me of these various worlds." The overlord still carried no emotion in his voice, sounding more bored than anything else.

"Of course, of course!" Corvernus pointed one bony finger towards what looked to be huge green plains, "this one is called Hyrule. But I would not personally recommend going there, they have this sort of eternal conflict between light and darkness going on. So you'd have competition." The overlord nodded, while a challenge was fun he never desired to fight colleagues, unless it was necessary.

"This," he pointed towards yet another map, this time one with several different countries labelled with different names. He caught sight of names like Lordaeron, or Dun Morogh. "Is Azeroth, but that place is kind of a mess. It's constantly terrorized by weird evils, and recently some ancient panda race was rediscovered there."

The overlord shuddered, if there was one thing he hated it was pandas. They went completely against everything he stood for. They were cute and cuddly, not frightening and deadly like a bear should be. The only good thing was that he had slaughtered every last one of them as his number one priority. But taking on an entire race of the cuddly bastard did seem like too much of a trudge.

"Then there is this one." Corvernus put on a disgusted looked, "it's called Equestria, and while it is incredibly weak and easily overthrown......." Corvernus looked his master straight into his orbs, "it's populated by horse-people."

"Centaurs?"

"No my lord, they are weird technicolored freaks with bright fur and hair that makes them look outlandish." He grimaced while quickly removing his finger from the map in disgust. "I much prefer our hellsteads, at least they have the intimidation factor."

The overlord nodded. While he himself had no compassion for cuteness and brightness he understood why the filthy mortals enjoyed it so much.

But for the sake of everything cruel and unreasonable they had to be destroyed.

"Convernus, you will immediately send me to Equestria!" The overlord slammed his fist into the table as if to emphasize his point.

The magus sighed and shrugged, "if you say so my lord. Place your hand on the map."

The overlord did as instructed, placing a single armored hand on the rough paper. Immediately he could sense the magical energies flowing between him, the map, and the sorcerer. But his excitement at inter dimensional teleportation was ruined when he saw the smug smirk on the mages face.

"Enjoy being stuck for the next year 'overlord'," he cackled. The overlord could feel himself being sucked into the map, his fingers and soon his arm becoming blurrier by the second.

"Convernus, YOU PUNY WRET-!"





Twilight sparkle could hear a whistling noise as she was busily cleaning the library. It had been, and was still, filthy beyond belief. But an hour or two with a mop would solve that.

But apparently the whistling noise thought differently.

It got louder and louder, and it sort of reminded her of the sound a changeling made when dive bombing. But it grew steadily, and seemed to come from the outside.

She opened one of the pigeon hole sized windows, and immediately the sound became more apparent. She looked up at the sky to spy out for any changelings.

She moved just in time, as the flaming ball she had seen speeding towards her house shredded open the wall and landed in a heap next to a now broken bookcase. She couldn't feel her eyebrows, which probably meant they were gone, along with some of her mane.

The fiery ball was some weird bipedal creature wearing incredibly dark clothes, or armour, yes it was definitely armour. It opened its eyes, or orbs, and lifted a single........... Claw, into the air.

"Greetings, citizens of Equestria, your new lord has arrived."

And that was all he could say before his arms slumped down beside him as his world became completely black. 

"What in tartarus?"


> The Overlord and his new name
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ow."

That was the first time The Overlord could ever remember saying that word. At all other times he would've cried out revenge in the most gruesome manner possible to strike terror into his by now piss-scared foe for inflicting him the slightest amount of pain. But at the moment, lying down on what he could only presume was what mortals called a 'hospital bed,' while being surrounded by incredibly bright technicolor ponies of almost the entire color spectrum, that was the only thing he could say.

But honestly, his entire body hurt like hell.

He could easily remember Convernus and his dastardly, and admittedly ingenious, plan to get rid of him, and while he was filled with rage at the mere memory, his ego received a massive hit as he remembered who had lured him into the trap.

None other than himself.

What he couldn't remember was how he got here. When he fell from the sky like a giant evil meteor he strongly remembered that he had hit a tree, which had books inside of it. The more he thought about that making sense the more his brain hurt, so he decided to stop before he gave himself an aneurism. But this wasn't a tree, much less a tree with books inside of it, so either they had taken him here as a prisoner or they had shown him a genuine act of kindness.

Option one: they would burn eternally.

Option two: weaklings!

"Hey look, the meteor thingy is awake!" A pink one, why did it have to be pink of all things shouted. Her voice was like sandpaper to the ears, and yet it felt even worse for The Overlord because her voice strangely sounded like....... Candy floss, which wasn't only sweet but also pink and fluffy! Intolerable.

"It sure is." Someone said, from above strangely enough. The Overlord had no desire to open his eyes lest he was faced with some horrible weaponry aimed directly at his head. Or worse, a panda.

"Are you gals sure? It hasn't opened its eyes yet." Someone with a southern accent said. Having to hear that was slightly more bearable, because it reminded The Overlord of the republicans, his most trusted minions and allies.

"He could be faking." The same voice said from above. Promptly bopping the tip of his spiked helmet. While it was just a prod it felt like his entire neck had been snapped. Which according to his minions hurt a lot, he could now tell why.

"Breathing stable," he heard another voice. It sounded suspiciously like the one he had heard before passing out when he landed. Which meant that they had moved him by themselves. So there was probably no guards.

"Why would he wear such a crude outfit?"

Okay, that was it.

"NO ONE INSULTS THE ARMOR OF THE DAMNED!" He yelled as he bolted upright, colliding with something cyan which smashed into a wall. But this boost of anger was quickly diminished as he howled in pain because every single bone in his body felt like it had been cracked at that very moment.

"Please dear, I was not trying to upset you." Said the same one as before. While he couldn't fake it anymore he still felt that interacting with creatures like this would diminish his cruelty, which would be completely unreasonable.

The Overlord snorted, without having a nose. "Well you succeeded nonetheless you intolerable horse-creature."

"Well, I never!" The same one said again, scoffing and sticking........ His, her, it's, nose in the air. Strike one went to the Overlord.

"Are y'all feeling alright mister?" The southern one asked, it tipped its Stetson in a polite greeting. Something the Overlord wasn't entirely ready to return.

"As soon as I can leave this infernal contraption I'll be doing wonderfully." He said, wriggling slightly as he tried to find out which of his body parts hurt, which he soon found out was all of the. "Now get me up before I send you and your compadres to the deepest dungeons of the Stygian pits!"

"Oh no mister." Some quiet one said to his right, he looked there and his orbs caught onto what looked suspiciously like a pegasus, yet another creature he had annihilated entirely from his on realm. "You'll be staying in bed until you're all nursed up."

"I don't need nursing you infernal being," he yelled, making it cover beneath the bed, "I need to get out of here and return to Earth!"

"Hey, no one bad mouthes Fluttershy!" Someone who sounded suspiciously like a female Jarvis cocker said. Next thing he knew his head had been turned 90 degrees towards the left and he was staring directly into a cyan face, the body which said face belonged to floated above the bed, held aloft by a pair of wings. "What have you got to say for yourself tough guy?"

"If you do not unhand me this very moment I will tear your wings off and stuff them up your bum!" He said through clenched teeth. The cyan thing looked shocked before she let go and landed. Now looking worriedly at the Overlord, her wings, and her butt in order.

"Now everypony." Said the same one who had supposedly examined him a few minutes earlier. "No need for harsh words, our friend here is obviously in shock after the terrible thing that happened to him, so let's give him some space."

The Overlord had to physically stop himself from throwing up at the mention of friendship, but he kept the bile on board as he merely glared at the purple beast with faintly hidden contempt. 

"So," the same one said again, looking at the Overlord with a sheepish smile, "why don't we get everyone introduced." It pointed a single.... He guessed they were hooves, at its chest. "I'm Twilight sparkle."

"Rainbow dash." Said the cyan one. Of course this place would have something to do with rainbows, he thought.

"Rarity."

"Ah'm Applejack."

"im Fluttershy"

"Speak up you pestilence infested mongrel!" He hissed, making the pegasus once again duck her head beneath the bedside.

"She's Fluttershy," said the pink one. "And I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie, but most people call me pinkie pie! Or just pinkie, but I wouldn't mind if they called me something else. Maybe you can call me something else! Oh this is so much fun!"

If the Overlords mouth had actually existed then it would've been wide open. In stead his orbs grew a few millimeters in every direction. He heard faint giggles and a few sighs coming from the rest of the multi-colored entourage.

"Pinkie, I think that's enough." The one who was called Twilight said. "Wouldn't want to overwhelm our guest even before he's introduced himself.

you're gonna regret saying that, filthy pony!

"I am the Overlord, supreme ruler of Tiberius, menacing doombringer of the carnivorous flies, herald of Beelzebub.........."





About 700 titles later.......





"....... And the incredible destroyer of the panda race!" The Overlord said, feeling quite pleased with himself. It seemed like his peers didn't share his excitement, as most of them were looking bored beyond belief. Rainbow Dash had even fallen asleep while flying. The only one who still listened was Pinkie Pie, whom was smiling so wide that her face was in danger of splitting.

"Wow, that's a looooooong name!" She shrieked. Her voice was still as unpleasant as getting bum-fucked with a sandpaper condom, but at least she was screaming or yelling. "Mind if I give you a nickname?"

"Yes, I do mind that, a lot actually."

"Good." She said, completely oblivious to his statement. She tapped her chin thoughtfully as the gears in her brain churned so hard that the Overlord could practically hear them. Out of nowhere a light-bulb appeared above her head, floating there and completely defying gravity.

"How about....."

This is it  the Overlord thought to himself. With all the titles he had used, surely his name would be threatening, it would strike fear into the hearts of those who dared even whisper it.

oh hell to the fuck yeah 

"....Ollie?"

........

"You have exactly five seconds to change that before I pull your rectum out with a rusty pizza slicer."







> The Overlord meets the ponies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When the six friends had finally calmed pinkie down from her hissy fit, and assured the Overlord that Ollie was indeed a terrifying and fearsome name, and afterwards actually getting Ollie out of his bed without him howling like a burned wolf. Finally when all those things had been done they started showing Ollie around town. Much to their displeasure he reacted with arrogant snorts.

"What is this place?" He said, indicating towards the hooves and horns bar, "where are the torture pits?" He indicated towards the school, "where are the combat arenas?" He pointed towards the library, "where are the evil laboratories?"

"Geez, you sure are hard to please Ollie." Applejack wheezed. She, along with rainbow, were carrying Ollie on their backs thanks to a small medical raft that the hospital had been nice enough to let them borrow, if only to get the screaming monstrosity wearing black armor out of there.

Ollie scoffed, he still wasn't pleased with how they had butchered his title. But then again he thought, it might've been better than if they'd given him a pony name. Like E. Vile or something along those lines.

"Oh this is so exciting!" Pinkie was bouncing alongside the raft and was using every moment to tell the weary dark lord about the town. "I'm gonna have to throw a 'welcome Ollie who's actual name is the Overlord to ponyville party'!" She squealed, "It's been ages since I last threw one of those!"

that is going into the mental bucket known as: shit you shouldn't think about.

"Relax Pinkie," Rarity said, "I'm sure........ Ollie, will want to meet the rest of our friends." She turned with beaming eyes towards him. "Isn't that so?"

"No, not really." At least Rarity was acting as weirdly about his new name as he was. Made it feel like he at least had some relation in this all too bright and happy world.

"Splendid!" She squeaked, either ignoring........ Or ignoring, Ollie's statement.

Ollie groaned, "you people will never come to respect true evil."

"What does 'people' mean?" Twilight asked while raising an eyebrow.

Ollie sighed with dread. "Never mind!" He almost yelled. Making Fluttershy, who wasn't even the target for his hate and spite, duck underneath his raft and quiver. "Well, at least I can still have some fun." He said dryly, looking back up at the sky. Even though it was growing darker it was still too bright for him.

"Why don't we introduce him to the foals?" Applejack asked through clenched teeth, the sweat now gathering in beads and dripping down her-





This fic has been interrupted due to breaking the fimfiction mature content rules. As soon as the writer has been calmed down and has received enough cups of relaxing herbal tea it will continue.

EROTICISM! UNHAND ME AT ONCE! LET ME WRITE!

GET THE TRANQUILIZERS!

Ooh, sparkly colors..........zzzzzz

Christ all mighty this guy has problems

We apologize for the inconvenience, the writer is now sufficiently drugged up to continue writing in a normal fashion. Unfortunately, some text was lost during his mental breakdown, so the story picks up at a later point.





"...and this is Miss Cheerilee"

Ollie had finally gained enough physical stability so he could actually walk, a fact that both Applejack and Rainbow were quite thankful for as they massaged their tortured muscles

"Hey there Mr. Ollie." Miss Cheerilee said, wearing a smile that almost impossibly big. "It's so great to meet new........ Ponies" she looked up and down his entire body as he rested himself on the table

"I've been told so," Ollie sighed, looking around at the cowering foals, "but ive yet to experience the greatness that's been described to me."

"Well," she looked around awkwardly for anything to present the guest. Before her eyes locked onto her pupils whom were by now attempting to sneak out, except for snips and snails oddly enough. "Why don't I introduce you to my class?"

Ollie sighed, "it sounds absolutely horrendous miss Cheerilee." A single stern look from applejack made him turn around, "it sounds about as nice as getting three inch nails jammed up my nostrils." He turned back, orbs positioned so he looked smugly evil, the best kind of smug, "better?"

Cheerilee, whom has long ago decided to dismiss Ollie's crude words as some sort of mental disability were now persuading her students to get up from behind their tables. While most agreed at first others were still hiding, like Applebloom and her friends.

"What's wrong?" Cheerilee asked concerned.

"Ah don't like this Ollie one lil bit!" Applebloom whispered, while putting as much emotion behind her voice as she could.

"He's scary." Scootaloo nodded as she waved her hooves around in a perplexing pattern.

"And why is he wearing armor when there aren't any dangers around?" Sweetie belle asked. Her two peers nodding enthusiastically as if to emphasize her point.

"Oh shush you two, I'm sure Ollie is a good......... Pony, once you get to know him." Cheerilee said, smiling as wide as she could. The three fillies shot each other worried glances before nodding in unison. They crawled out from beneath the tables and sat at their chairs, still shooting glances at Ollie with suspicion.

"So, mr Ollie." Cheerilee chimed in, "wouldn't it be best to tell us what your jobs is?"

Ollie shrugged indifferently, "I'm a king." He said with the same excitement as a person pouring himself a bowl of cornflakes. "In another world."

"Well whaddya do as a king?" Applebloom asked, smacking her hoof against her table in a manner emulating a stereotypical 90's cop.

Once again Ollie just shrugged indifferently, "kill things, torture things, rape things, conquer things, punish things. Basically I do loads of evil things involving 'things,' next question."

While most of the eyes in the classroom had grown a few centimeters, hooves were still shoved into the air. And because one of them reminded him of his own brown imps, he chose a long-necked colt who's intelligence looked to be no higher than the boogers he was eating.

"What's your cutie mark?" Snails asked, his eyes going blank as soon as the words left his mouth.

Ollie looked to Cheerilee while pointing a finger at his butt. She nodded and he sighed wearily.





you showed your bare arse to a whole bunch of kindergarten children?

yup!

why would you possibly do that?

they asked me to, and it seemed logical at the time.

look, if I'm gonna help you then you need to throw off these petty excuses and work with me

sure, whatever

continue Ollie

> The overlord and his newfound love
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So why exactly am I chained up here?" Ollie asked from the air. For once in his life he was hanging from the roof with rope tied around each of his ankles. Even though it was his first time it was still a déjà vu...... For slightly different reasons.

"Because I'm not interested in you attacking The Princesses." Twilight said as she placed some cups on a small table. So far Ollie could count four, which meant that either he was joining or there was more than two rulers.

"Still doesn't explain why I'm up here." Ollie scoffed, swinging lightly to entertain himself at least a little.

"Well, the behavior and attitude you've shown so far makes me think you won't be so........ Positive, towards Celestia or Luna." Twilight said, smiling sheepishly at the beaming human. As she said this, the doorbell echoed through the treehouse and made the unicorn smile. "When you speak of the sun."

"It shines......." Ollie droaned. Still swinging to attempt some kind of entertainment.

"Hello princess!" Twilight said from the doorway. Her voice was a higher pitch than normally, making Ollie think that maybe his jailor wasn't too confident.

"Hello Twilight." Ollie saw an incredibly large pony step into sight, unlike the others this one had both horn and wings. She was also a little big around the waists. But the princess's look turned from one of warmth to confusion once she caught sight of Ollie. "....... Interesting choice of ornament my student, but I personally find it a bit rustic."

"Speak for yourself you fat crossbreed."

The princess had to blink a few times, she wasn't used to ponies, or in this case even less, humans insulting her. The most disrespect shed ever received was from Discord, but this thing broke new records.

And she couldn't help but laugh.

Twilight stead in awe, first at Ollie, but not soon after she stared at Celestia whom was by now rolling on the floor and cleaning it with tears of joy.

"You do have a strange gift for finding the most entertaining of friends my dear student." Celestia said once her fit of laughter had passed, she was still wiping her eyes clean of joyful tears. "But it's been ages since someone had the guts to actually insult me." She got up and walked over so she was on eye level with the dangling Ollie. "Tell me, what's your name?"

Ollie merely huffed Luke-warm air in her face before turning his head in another direction.

Unbeknownst to both of the alicorns, he had been futile attempting to summon his imps the entire damned day. Because this place needed fire, and lots of it, which was certainly things the imps could provide in plentiful quantity. Both no matter how much he tried he could not latch onto their brains. Possibly because they were too far away. But he had found one thing that worked.

His own personal magic.

So when the two ponies turned around with Celestia cuing, "now, I think its time for a cup of tea." He merely shot a small stream of fire up at the rope holding him afloat. Which promptly had him falling onto his face, to the shock and possible enjoyment of both princesses.

He clumsily got up, with some of the rope still tied around him. "HAHAH! IM FREE MOTHERFUCKERS!" He yelled as he promptly ran through the wall of the tree house, leaving an Overlord formed hole in the wood, which for some reason had been scorched on the edges. The princesses could only watch as the rest of the ropes were burned to ashes and he ran towards town square swinging a sword he had apparently materialized only a minute ago.

"Twilight, get the elements."





"Die you filthy products of good manners and behavior!" Ollie shouted as he shot yet another fireball towards a building. The structure erupted into an inferno as soon as the projectile collided with the wooden walls. "Die in the name of all that's evil in this pathetic rainbow horse world."

A royal guard, who looked to be well above 50, walked calmly up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. Ollie turned around with fire still swirling around his hand and just stared bewildered at the pony. "Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down, you're scaring others."

Ollie grabbed hold of the guards wings and threw his arm backward. "That's the bloody point!" He yelled as he tugged his arm forward and threw the pegasus into the clouds. The guard didn't even batter an eye throughout the whole experience. But to be honest, living in ponyville probably meant that you'd seen your fair share of weird shit.

"Thau shalt stop this very moment villainous scum!" Ollie heard a voice yell from somewhere off to the left. He turned towards whomever dared defy him with fire once again covering his hand.

And he was met with the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

She was gorgeous, with long flowing dark blue hair that twinkled like the stars on a clear summer night. Her....... Fur, he guessed it was fur, was a slightly darker blue than her hair which contrasted each other perfectly. Her eyes were angry, but still beautiful even when filled with unbridled hatred.

And she was the first one who wore shoes! Or horseshoes? At least she didn't run around without anything covering her hooves.

"You are so beautiful...." Ollie whispered, both arms falling down and hanging beside him. All thoughts of destruction were replaced with everlasting desire.

"Charm and sweet talk will not get you out of this filthy arsonist!" She shouted back. Just like Twilight and Celestia this one had both wings and a horn. So she was not only beautiful, but also royalty.

"Your sweet voice is as wonderful as the thousand cries of dying peasants." Ollie said, completely ignoring her previous threats he walked closer, arms held out in preparation for an emotional embrace.

"Stay away from me monster!" She screamed, shooting a single dark blue beam out of her horn that threw him back onto his ass. He looked up, his red orbs, now blue, filled with appreciation and excitement. "Not only beautiful, not only royal, but powerful aswell?" He let out a hearty and raspy laugh. "Truly you will be a fitting mistress of castle Torment." He lunged himself forward and started running as fast as he could towards her. Apparently she got the message, because she turned around and started galloping as fast as possible.

"It doesn't matter where you run princess!" Ollie shouted. "Love knows no limits."

"No," she yelled back, "and neither does stupidity!"

Ollie and his prey eventually found themselves closing in on the library, with his newfound love actually running directly towards it, picking up her pace and then yelling. "TIA! HELP ME!"

Ollie looked towards the library, and caught sight of his six saviors and Celestia whom were staring at the entire scenario and trying their best not to laugh.

"DONT JUST STAND THERE, HELP ME!" His prey screamed at the seven giggling ponies. What was strange was the jewelry attached to the smaller of the seven. Each of them resembling their butt tattooes. Ollie utterly denied calling them cutie marks, because he was pretty sure saying that word would have his throat block itself in a suicide attempt.

"Of course Luna, of course." Celestia said, nodding towards Twilight. The student nodded back and the intricate crown on her head started flashing. The rest of it was blinking aswell, and soon enough Ollie saw a gigantic rainbow torpedoing towards him, and a second or so after he registered moving would be a good idea it slammed into his chest.

And did nothing.

The smoke dissipated, and in a small crater with stones that looked to be shining now stood Ollie. Completely unharmed, and with no changes whatsoever. Other than one thing, his normally red eyes were now a dark blue

"Umm," Celestia said, blinking repeatedly, "well......." She looked to Twilight and her friends, "that was unexpected."

"I'm not entirely sure what that was supposed to do Princess." Ollie said, lunging himself forward towards Luna. "But love knows no limits!"

All seven of the onlookers watched the extremely weird scene play out. Ollie running ahead saying a sentence that was quite peculiar when contrasted to his normal behavior. Luna turning around and running around with him hot on her hooves. Apparently both Pinkie and Rainbow got the message, because they looked at each other with grins as wide as melon slices.

"Ollie and Luna sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" They sung in perfect unison.

"That's it....." Twilight whispered to herself. "Luna, stop running!"

"Arst thou insane Twilight Sparkle?" Luna yelled, neatly dodging underneath Ollie as he grabbed out at her. "I don't know if thou hatst seen what this maniac is capable of, but i would rather not be torn to pieces."

"Trust me Luna, he won't do anything!" 

Luna clenched her eyes shut before stopping dead in her tracks. Watching Ollie closing in on her with every passing second. She opened her eyes just as he got into range.

And then he hugged her.

He was just standing there, holding her firmly, not too tight but still enought to feel it. 

Twilight and Celestia both looked at each other and winked. Celestia walked up and carefully prodded him on his shoulder, having him let go. She stared straight into his eyes, which were now a vibrant ocean blue.

"I think its time we have a little talk, Mr. Overlord?" She smiled. Which he returned even with a lack of a mouth.

"Please Tia, it's Ollie."


> The Overlord's least favorite person
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay, what the fuck have you done to me?"

Ollie was currently sitting in front of the three princesses and had busily been munching on a Danish, a pastry he personally despised if they weren't filled with the thousand anguishing souls of dead school children.

And his eyes were two different colors, a vibrant fire red, and a calm ocean blue.

"Excuse me dear Ollie, but I'm not quite sure what you are talking about." Celestia raised and eyebrow in confusion, as did her sister and student.

"Yeah you'd better excuse, before I bend you 300 degrees south and stick your own horn up your ass." His blue eye was gradually becoming more and more red. "Why is there some whiny bitch in my body? Furthermore, why am I drinking tea?!" He pointed a shaking finger at one of the mugs. "And eating pastries?!" He pointed to a half eaten Danish. "I don't even have a mouth for crying out loud!"

"Look Ollie, I think maybe you need to calm down a little bit." Twilight said, pushing a cookie platter towards him.

The platter didn't get very far however, as he smashed his hand down onto it, keeping it intact meanwhile it burrowed itself through the table and the floor beneath it. "Twilight, stop. Or I will beat your ass."

The three princesses looked to each other with wide eyes before huddling together at the opposite side of the table.

"Was it something I said?" Luna asked, peering nervously back at the extremely angry man whom was now clutching his head.

"I don't think so princess." Twilight shook her head.

"allow me to explain dear friends." Ollie said, sounding much more cheerful, his eyes had once again returned to the blue they had seen when he'd been struck with the elements. "i am the original owner of this body, Maximillian Q. Painington. Former prince of Velden." he looked down at the floor, "and now second violin to some maniacs evil plans."

"........... Ollie are you alright?" Twilight asked, looking at him with worried eyes.

His eyes flashed and once again they were red. "NO! I am not okay, some idiot keeps taking over my body. AND HES FRIENDLY! AND KIND!" He punched himself in the face, "ITS FUCKING UNBEARABLE!"

His eyes flashed yet again and turned blue. "please, you have got to get this monster out of me." Ollie grabbed out for the half eaten Danish from before and about half of it disappeared as he moved it closer to his mouth, like it had been sucked into a black hole or something.

His eyes flashed again and were once again red. The Danish reappeared again, but this time in small pieces from out of nowhere. "HE HAD ME EAT A FUCKING DANISH!" Ollie screamed again, "THIS GUY IS EVEN MORE CRUEL THAN I AM!"

Luna took a deep breath as Ollie repeatedly punched himself while yelling insults in constantly conflicting voices as his eyes flashed again and again, constantly turning from blue to red.

"SHUT UP!"

Ollie stopped halfway through strangling himself with a table cloth to look with blue eyes at the alicorn of the night. "Yes, oh most beautiful of women?"

"First of, what eth a woman?" Luna asked, looking perplexed before returning to a look of anger and sadness. "And furthermore, why are you harming yourself?"

His eyes flashed yet again. But this time he let go of the tablecloth and merely clutched his head with one hand. "I don't know what happened after you shot me with those jewelry pieces." He pointed towards Twilights crown. "But it made this irritating fuckwit appear inside of my head, and he keeps pushing me back and blubbering nice things, about acceptance and how killing people isn't okay."

"Like a conscience?" Twilight suggested, making princess Celestia nod sagely. 

"Yes my student, it would appear that our friend here." Ollie spit on the ground as she said his most hated word. "Has regained his conscience. Which if his previous behavior is anything to go by he desperately needs one."

"I don't need a conscience!" Ollie said spontaneously as he tried to push his right hand, which was currently controlled by the conscience Maximilian, away from his face. "Why does he even think this is his body?"

"I actually don't know." Celestia said and shrugged, making Twilight stare at her with betrayed eyes. "What, it's not like I know everything!"

"Says the all mighty goddess that rules over the entire nation and who claims to be all-knowing." Luna said in between a few coughs, making her sister glare at her with all the power of a detonating a-bomb.

The four of them sat there for a while in awkward silence, although the two sisters has apparently decided to entertain themselves with a contest of 'who can stare most angrily at the other.'

"So," Twilight broke the silence with a sickening crack, "where's Ollie actually gonna be sleeping?"

"Why do you keep on calling me that?"

"I'd suggest he'd stay at your place Twilight, it is the largest house in ponyville, excluding the mayors office." Celestia said, nodding for no particular reason.

"Anyone listening?"

"As long as this buffoon is as far away from me as possible I'm fine." Luna said, all three princesses completely oblivious to Ollie who's hands were now alit again.





"so, you started burning down the entire tree house?"

"yes, I told you already!"

"and this, conscience, of yours didn't stop you?"

"he tried to strangle me, eventually"

"yes, alright. I can feel the headache building, so please continue mr overlord."

"okay. I was just about to wake up the next day, when suddenly......."





> The Overlord and the mystery of the mangled mare
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ollie, can you follow me please?" Twilight prodded him, having him nosily wake up with grunts and huffs.

"What the hell is the time?" He asked, rubbing his orbs for no particular reason other than it being a habit. "And why are you wearing that ridiculous attire?"

The attire in question was a slick dark gray tuxedo with a bowler hat tipped jointly towards the right, but it was slightly obscured by her horn sticking through the fabric, presumably to keep it from falling off. "To answer your first question, it's eleven am." She pulled his blanket off with telekinesis, leaving him with only his armor. "And to answer the second one, pinkie gave it to me for a special little job, now follow!"

The fact that she sounded angry and scolding didn't make Ollie any more happy. He was contemplating on setting the place on fire again, but was stopped by a pair of handcuffs now holding his hands together.

"The fuck is this for?" He asked, tugging at the flimsy chain with half open orbs.

"Sorry, safety measures." Twilight explained as she pushed him along.

Ollie put his hands together before pulling them apart, splintering the chain and leaving a surprised Twilight to gawk at her destroyed equipment. "What now, officer?"

The magical princess sighed, "can you please just move along."

"Since you ask so nicely." Ollie groaned, walking out the door as Twilight quickly followed him. "Why exactly am I driven from my resting place to follow your around town?"

Her eyes flashed to the side to a small grouping of ponies standing huddled together. "It'll be explained once we get there." She walked closer to the small ensemble, which as Ollie quickly realized was comprised of Twilights five friends, a few of those guards whom were as flimsy as tablecloth held together with spit, and a few ponies he didn't recognize nor care about. He did catch one of the guards, and orange one with a blue tail, winking at Twilight, and soon after send a glare towards him that would've frozen the blood of a mortal.

The large group dissipated and pulled apart as Twilight and Ollie moved closer. He caught several of the inhabitants glaring angrily at him or even spitting in front of him, and as much as he wanted to disintegrate them he was curious why he was even dragged here, so their painful death would have to wait a little.

Pinkie was wearing some sort of trench coat with a cubic pattern, along with the outfit was an incredibly dumb looking hat and a pipe that blew bubbles.

"Follow along citizen." Pinkie said, waving him into an alleyway alongside Twilight. Pinkie tried her best to sound formal, but it came out more like annoyed and slightly constipated.

They trudged further down the alley before finally reaching the destination. Which was apparently a pony with a slit throat that made Twilight turn around and vomit.

"Interesting, some form of abstract art?" Ollie asked, looking at the corpse with thinly concealed amusement.

"No silly willy, it's a corpse." She sounded like she was hyperventilating with each word, "and you're the suspect!" Her voice turned as serious as she could make it as she went straight up to his face and jabbed him in his right eye.

"Now," he grabbed hold of her hoof and pulled it away from his face. "Why exactly do you think I did this?" He pointed towards the corpse. "I mean normally I would have nothing against murdering innocents, but I've been sleeping up until now."

"The proof." Pinkie bent her head almost backwards and picked a small plastic bag out of her pocket. "Is in the pudding!" The bag contained a rather large white glove with blood splattered across it.

"Umm, pinkie. I don't know if you've realized." Twilight butted in, "but Ollie is wearing a full set of armor at all times. How would he wear some flimsy glove?"

This made Pinkie blow a little harder into the pipe, making more bubbles pop out of the tip. "Well, what about this!" She pulled out yet another plastic bag, that contained a rather large knife with even more blood on it.

"Why would I even use a knife? I've got control over demonic fire and shadow energy, a knife seems a lot less practical when I can kill her with my brain and some jittery hand motions!" He wiggled his hand and the corpse lit on fire, as if to emphasize the point.

"That's all I've got." Pinkie shrugged and started walking off, but not before Ollie grabbed her by the tail and dragged her back.

"Not so fast sherclop Holmes," he said, taking the hat from her head and spearing it on his pointed helmet. "I don't care for whomever died here, but some human is running around doing my job, and you're gonna help me find him."

"Okay!" She merely said, and the trio of once sugar infused earth pony, an alicorn princess with the powers of bending reality, and a single overlord were off to find a murderer.

"Where do we start?" Twilight suddenly said.

Ollie stopped dead in his tracks, tipping his hat so that he looked directly into the sunlight. He pointed a finger towards it. He looked every part as heroic as those stupid adventurers he'd constantly killed.

"I have no idea."





"So tell me miss cake." Pinkie asked pointing directly at the baker while simultaneously snatching a brownie, "where were you at the time span of 8:00-11:30."

"Pinkie!" Twilight exclaimed, throwing her half eaten muffin into the air with a weary flail of her foreleg. "I thought it was established by Novablast that the killer was a human. If we start interrogating ponies then the story won't make any sense."

Pinkie gasped in horror. "Twilight, it's my job to break the fourth wall you meany job mugger!"

"The fourth wall hasn't only been broken girls, it's been shattered and crumbled, ground to dust as we speak by what you just did." Ollie said, sighing and looking up at me. "I'm so sorry Erik."

"Its okay," I answered, my classmates looking at me with strange eyes as I talked with my ipad. "But please continue. Also, a little tip, just for you, the killer is in the everfree forest."

"Thank you." Ollie nodded and turned his head back towards the 'police mares.' "Gee, I wonder where the killer could be hiding!" He said in a crazily overblown voice.

Both Twilight and Pinkie stopped in mid motion and started tapping the table furiously. Supposedly in deep thought, or trying to reenact scenes from the sootie show.

"I've got it!" Twilight suddenly exclaimed. "The killer is in the-

"Everfree forest? Then let's go, come on no time to waste, get going." Ollie hurried out the door and started running towards the forest with renewed vigor, or just a desire to get as far away from the pastry shop as possible.

"........ How did he know that?"
> The Overlord and the mystery of the mangled mare part 2: electric boogaloo
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So why haven't your torn down the monster infested forest yet?" Ollie asked as they came closer to the everfree border. The buildings of the town long behind them, along with the angry glares of the victims friends or acquaintances.

"Well, we actually can't, it's infested with chaos, which means that we can't so anything to it." Twilight said, sounding disbelieving in her own words.

"Why not just burn it to the ground?!" Ollie raised his voice and threw his arms upward.

"Because Zecora lives there you silly billy." Pinkie said, blowing the pipe directly into Ollie's face, having his entire helmet soaped up by the bubbles. "If we burned it down she wouldn't have a place to stay, and then I'd have to throw a 'were so sorry that we burned down your house on accident so here's a party to cheer you up' party. And I've done way too many of those."

"Pinkie, whenever you open your mouth I feel the sudden urge to strangle myself." Ollie said, clenching his face in an attempt to block out the earth pony.

"Well that's no good." She said, wide smiled scaring Ollie completely shitless.

Twilight was doing her absolute best to block out her two friends, and at this point she felt the need to block them out by the equation; Head+lead pipe=silence. But that was all blocked out once she saw the shadows of the everfree trees on the ground.

"Guys, were here." Twilight said, making both of her associates stop dead in their arguing and look up at the road leading into darkness.

"This doesn't look so scary." Ollie said, peering searchingly into the mist that covered the entire forest at all time. "I take that back, it doesn't look scary whatsoever."

"But it houses unspeakable horrors." Pinkie said, her voice growing deeper and more sophisticated. "Timberwolves roam the sort roads, seeking prey and all passers by who might fancy a stroll." The blew into the pipe, making even more bubbles spew out and fly towards the sky. "The Ursas that lie dormant would eat you, armor and whole if they got the chance." She took the pipe out of her mouth and somehow held it in her hoof, completely defying physics. "The various critters would happily eat your corpse, devouring it in-"

"Great." Ollie sighed, grabbing hold of Pinkie and slinging her over his shoulder. "Let's go."

"No, I dropped my pipe!"





"These, are the scary and terrifying monsters you told me all about and warned me not to get near?" Ollie asked, juggling the heads of still alive timberwolves that continually snarled at him. "They're pathetic!" He yelled, slinging one of them against a tree where it splintered in a howl.

"You can shoot fire Ollie." Twilight almost scolded him. "That's kind of and advantage in and of itself when you're fighting wolves made of wood."

"I've just been punching them though!" Ollie retorted, slinging yet another head towards a tree, this one though merely bounced into a bush with a pathetic whine. "Otherwise I'd be throwing charcoal, not wooden skulls."

Twilight huffed and straightened her suit. "Fair enough."

The walk continue on for a while, until they eventually reached the hut where Zecora lived. The zebra was currently collecting herbs from a small garden outside the house when she noticed the ragtag group approaching her home. Unnecessary to say, she didn't look at Ollie with friendly eyes.

"Greetings Twilight Sparkle, welcome to my lair." She made a small bow before facing her again, "tell me, who is your friend with the fiery stare?"

"Well, Ollie this is Zecora, Zecora this is Ollie." She nodded at each of them in order to introduce them. 

"Charmed." Ollie said, showing no sign of emotion other than; booooooored

"A new face is always nice," she smiled  nodding at the armored human, "I sense you come here, seeking a prize? Should we speak, under eight eyes?"

"Well," Twilight started, "someone in ponyville was murdered." This made the eyes of the zebra grow to about the size of dinner plates. "And we're pretty sure he's hiding out here in the everfree."

"The message of a killing, is certainly chilling." Zecora pondered for a while before looking up with more wit about her. "Please, enter my hut if you are willing."

"Yay!" Pinkie shrieked, zooming right past the rest of the investigators, leaving Twilight and Zecora with manes that looked like they'd been dipped in glue and placed in front of a jet turbine. While Ollie's hat was dangling from a single thread in front his face, it having been torn completely in half by the spike on his helmet.

"Well, at least she's enthusiastic." Twilight said, smiling sheepishly and desperately trying to straighten her mane.

"Pinkie pie could jump off a cliff and still be enthusiastic Twilight, it's not a bonus." Ollie said, looking with sad eyes at his destroyed hat.

Soon after they heard a scream from inside the hut, which sounded like Pinkie with her throat caught in a vice. Twilight and Zecora forgot all about their manes looking like Hiroshima after the bombing and hurried into the hut. Ollie merely strolled casually behind them, nonchalantly whistling.

Once again he heard screams, this time from Twilight and Pinkie. He picked up his pace and peered into the hut, to find the three ponies standing in a ring around a human with glasses, a long black wool coat and a top hat. In his right hand was an absurdly oversized knife that had dried blood all over the edge.

"Stop right there criminal scum!" Ollie yelled, moreso for his own enjoyment than for the safety of the mares. But as soon as the human got a single look at him he whirled around and jumped out the window.

"What the fuck?" Zecora said.

"Zecora!" Twilight burst out. "You didn't rhyme!"

"I do not know of what you speak." Zecora said, smiling at the princess with closed eyes. "My rhyming is still at its peak."

"Umm, killer, jumped out the window, anyone?" Ollie asked, pointing towards the shattered glass where the human could still be seen running away.

"Right!" Twilight yelled, jumping out the window and chasing after him. Zecora and pinkie soon followed, with Ollie in close pursuit. While he wasn't interested in their well being, this was another human in Equestria, which meant there was a way back.

Soon after Ollie heard a loud *thump* coming from further on. He soon found both Twilight and the killer, with the former standing up and the latter flat on his ass, in front of a tree, with the murderer curiously enough not moving.

"He just ran into the tree." Twilight exclamated, presenting the unconscious human with fake bravado.

"Yeah he did." Ollie said, bending over and picking up a small metallic object. "And I know why." The object in question was the glasses the culprit had been wearing when they'd first seen him.

Ollie picked the human up by the lapels and smacked him in the face, making him wake up bleary eyed and looking around. "Why can't I see anything?" He asked, his voice sounded posh, and his accent was sort of broken cockney.

"No you can't." Ollie said, placing the glasses on his nose. "But I think you should be able to now, right Jack?"

Jack blinked a few times before he knotted his brows. Soon after the confusion on his face turned from such to happy grinning. "Well, don't that beat all?" He pushed himself up from the ground. "Overlord!" He reached out for Ollie and took a hold on his shoulder. "Long time no see!"

"Yes, let go of me right now or I'll evaporate you."

"Okay, alright, sure." Jack lifted his hands above his head and backed away slowly.

"Mares and....... Mares," Ollie said, turning towards the by now gob-smacked zebras and ponies. "May I introduce you to Jack the Ripper, greatest murderer in the entirety of merry old England, and my own personal assassin and associate!"



> The Overlord goes bowling
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Any threes?" Ollie asked, shuffling with his hand of cards, looking if he had a flush or not. He was a single three off and then he'd have won the game.

"Go fish." Jack replied, shuffling with his own hand trying his best to conceal his excitement. Not to any great degree however.

Ollie growled as he picked up another card from the ever dwindling card pile. Unfortunately it wasn't a three this time either, in stead he got a Queen, which really he had no use for.

"Any queens?" Jack smiled deviously. Ollie could feel this sudden urge to rip his head off and stick it up his ass. Unfortunately restraint was one of the things necessary if you were to live in the library.

"You lucky son of a bitch." Ollie mumbled as he handed the Englishman his newly acquired card. Jack merely smiled and giggled childishly as he placed the four cards on the table. "Flush in queens!"

"I don't wanna play this anymore!" Ollie yelled, slamming the rest of his hand onto the table, making it shake and bend as he did, "56 games and I've won one!"

"Sore loser." Jack muttered under his breath as he collected yet more of the bits they'd waged. By now he could've bought the Canterlot throne, the crown Celestia wore and then Celestia afterwards. The bag of coins went into his hat which he promptly placed on top of his head afterwards, seemingly unimpaired by its weight.

"What now?" Ollie sighed  letting himself fall back and make yet another hole in the floor. About number 57 or so.

"You can go bowling with us?" Twilight asked, looking up from her book with incredibly unamused eyes. But let's be honest, if you had 57 man-sized holes in your floor that had been made all in the span of three hours, you'd probably be pissed too.

"Us?" Jack inquired questioningly. Peering over his small glasses. His eyesight wasn't even that poor, they were moreso for the looks and possibly for the intimidation factor. Both of which they were failing at providing.

"Me, my friends, and Luna."

Ollie's eyes swiveled around for a while before locking onto the unicorn in an almost predatorial manner. "What the hell are we waiting for?" He asked before a small black hole appeared by his hand. He grabbed in and pulled out a black and fiery bowling ball.

"You aren't even gonna ask me if I'm okay with this?" Jack asked, putting up a face like someone had farted into his face. "I might not want to go bowling!" Jack pulled out his wide-bladed knife from his inner pocket. "I might stab you in your sleep if you leave me here alone." He turned toward Twilight, twirling the blade in between his index and middle finger. "That counts for you too luv'."

"Showoff." She scoffed, leaping off her chair and walking towards her bedroom. Ollie was struggling with a soul that had somehow escaped his bowling ball. It seemed to scream something along the lines of "helfen Mir führer!" Before he pulled it back down.

Ollie turned towards his assassin, "and if you do so then I might resurrect like I always do and burn you alive." His hand lit up and flipped Jack the bird. "So either you follow me or I'll stick this so far up your ass that I'll burn the inner part of your throat."

Jack sighed before letting the knife slip into his cuff links. "Fine."

Ollie eyes closed in delight, the smiling part was cut out for budget reasons of course not as easy when he lacked a mouth. "That's more like it." He patted the Englishman on the shoulder, leaving a small pile of soot from his charred ball.

Jack promptly dusted off the blackened pile before he turned towards the door to Twilight room. Now, doing so would've been odd if not for the fact that it was currently being opened.

And out stepped Twilight, wearing the most retarded outfit known to either man or pony.

Jacks eyes widened and he could feel his lips going into cramp from holding back the laughter. The outfit looked remarkably like something Elvis would wear. Completely skin tight with gems on the edges. She was wearing what looked to be a pair of darkened up shades with purple rim.

All in all, it looked ridiculous.

Which Ollie was of course quick to pick up on.

"You look absolutely horrendous Twilight." He said plainly, not laughing, not scoffing, just matter of fact. As if he'd just said that birds flew, or that Jack was an asshole.

Twilight, whom had before looked incredibly proud of her outfit, now scowled at Ollie, whom was just staring at her with wide eyes, and Jack who had given up all illusions and were crying tears laughter with his face buried in his hands. "Well thank you so much Ollie. Do you wanna join me or do you prefer staying."

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Ollie said, pushing himself off the ground with little effort. "Not that I enjoy your company of course."

Twilight rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "Of course not Ollie."

Jack was still laughing madly, with his head now slammed against the table. Ollie grabbed hold of his coat and dragged him towards the door, with many a gasp and spurt coming from Jack, and his lack of oxygen.

"To the bowling hall!" Ollie said, pointing out the door and running off a second after. Jacks cries slowly growing more dim as he bounced painfully against the dirt or stone streets.

Twilight sighed. "Another day, more chaos."


> The Overlord goes bowling part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Will someone kill me, or all of you, right now?" Ollie asked. Staring with half lidded eyes at the fashion torment before his eyes. Every single one of the mares was wearing a jumpsuit similar to that of Twilights, but each of them were their own individual color. With rainbows quite literally being a bright yellow that tore at the eyes.

Jack let his knife drop out of his cuff links, grabbing it before twirling it around so the tip pointed downwards. "Promise you won't resurrect?"

Seconds or so after those words where uttered the knife suddenly became too hot to hold onto, and once Jack had dropped it it just melted away like snow. 

"Whoops." Ollie said with the biggest grin he could muster. 

Jack glared back daggers at him, literally. It looked like he'd pulled the rather large kitchen knives out of his armpits. Now they were pointed directly towards Ollie's face.

"I don't think Ollie likes my outfits Twilight." Rarity said. She looked shocked rather than sad however.

"Gee, what gave it away?" Rainbow sighed, "I think it was given away when he said he wanted to kill himself because they're ugly."

"No need for a five second recap," Jack said, now busily dodging every single punch coming in his direction. "This isn't an anime."

"There are times when what you say is confusing Jack." Twilight sighed as she and her friends turned to walk into the bowling hall. "And I'm friends with Pinke 'aight? That's a bit extreme."

"Sure, whatever." Jack grabbed hold of Ollie's arm at it flew over his head. He lunged his employer overhead so he smashed into the ground. Apparently this didn't stop Ollie, as he got up a few seconds later and jumped into Jack's midriff, sending them both crashing into the bowling hall like a small cursing missile.

The receptionist turned with complete disinterest towards the six friends who had entered only seconds ago, "are these guys with you?"

"That's unfortunately a yes."





"C'mon, big money no whammies!" Ollie yelled as he threw his first ball towards the row of pins. As it collided with the mid row it exploded with a voice yelling: "Wèi zǔguó" or something along those lines. Ollie turned around and held his fist high in the air. "I am a god!"

"It's just a strike, will you calm down." Jack said. Moving up to the lane with his own ball in hand. Ollie tried to slap him, but Jack ducked underneath as he did.

The Englishman spread his legs in a similar fashion to someone playing cricket readying to hit the ball. But for some reason he took the ball flat in hand and leant on his shoulder. He then threw it forwards so it arched perfectly, and smacked directly into the wooden lane leaving a small crater.

"Jack, I'm not sure you've realized it, but the nearest petāng field is about 10.000 light years in that direction." Ollie said, pointing sort of southwest upwards.

"A Londoner of true blood would not indulge in a sport as crude as this without adding a bit of class." Jack said, dusting off his sleeves before sitting down again.

"Says the bastard who decided that killing hookers and royal women was a smart idea." Ollie scoffed.

"Hey, I never got caught."

"Ah swear, if ah have ta listen to jus' one more of yer stupid dick meassurin' contests then I'm go'n hurl your asses to Applelosa." Applejack said. Taking another large slurp of her colt cola. The two earth pony representatives of the group had unfortunately arrived at a day where all mouth balls had been lent out to other visitors already, so they were stuck with watching.

"Colonial asshole." Jack muttered under his breath.

"Will you shut up? I'm concentrating." Twilight yelled. She was pinching her eyes in an attempt to line up the perfect shot. Which probably would've happened if Ollie hadn't decided to go. "Boo!" Right as the swung the ball. This caused said ball to fly up into the ceiling, ricochet off it, and afterwards flatten Jacks top hat.

Ollie guffawed with laughter. "That could not have gone better!"

"You're an ass." Jack whispered as his soul whisked into the air. Ollie grabbed onto it and forcefully pushed it back into his body, making it jitter in shock before Jack stabbed towards Ollie's head. "You're a jackass."

Ollie grabbed hold of his arm and threw him towards the ceiling. The Brit appeared utterly unaffected by his previous death as he leapt off the ceiling and landed right in front if Ollie again.

Pinkie reached into her mane and picked out a small box of popcorn. She placed them in front of the other ponies who had by now stopped giving a shit about bowling in favor of watching a gladiator fight between a British murderer and an evil king-god thing.

"You said that already." Ollie threw his bowling ball at the murderer, whom promptly ducked down and watched it smash through the wall only to return to its owners hand. "Did I finally bash what little creativity you had out of your skull?"

"Ass and jackass are two different words." Jack calmly said as he picked up a few bowling balls of his own and hurled them towards Ollie, who merely backhanded them away. "You dickhead."

"Cock gobbler!"

"Stain on society!"

"Walking stereotype!"

"Wanker!"

The receptionist looked up from her magazine that read something alone the lines of "ten ways to suc-" and the rest was cleverly blocked by the authors wish to have this be a teen rated fic. "Keep it down you two, or leave."

Ollie and Jack looked at each other, completely puzzled and perhaps a bit entertained. They turned back towards the receptionist with their arms raised high, readying to throw a couch each.

"Fuck off!"





"so you're telling me that you killed the receptionist and then tore the entire hall down?"

"yes"

"just...... Please continue mr Ollie, I need some more painkillers."
> The Overlord and the Sisterhooves Social part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come back here you thieving, conniving, pounder!" Miss cake yelled as she chased Jack through the streets. Jack himself carrying about 10 cupcakes in his arms and occasionally dropping some in his haste to get away from what he thought of as an angry rolling pin on legs.

"Can't catch meeeee!" Jack teased, catching a corner and quickly running out of sight.

directly into Ollie.

"You have exactly five seconds to explain before I incinerate you and trap your soul within the deepest depths of hades." Ollie whispered, grabbing Jack by the lapels and holding him right up against his face. "And after I've reincarnated you, you will explain to me why you're continually stealing cupcakes of all things."

"That's great and all Ollie." Jack said, seemingly ignoring his employers threats. "But I'm kind of in a a hurry so if you could put me do-"

And that was all he said before Ollie jammed his hand straight through his chest and let his soul fly directly into the ground.

"Bitch." Ollie snuffed, dropping the corpse, wanting to wait for jacks torment to extend a little longer.





Down in the deepest depths of Hades, the god of death himself didnt exactly expect Jack to come dropping down onto his dinner table.

"So, you pissed him off again?" Hades asked, wiping chicked grease from his face and taking another bite straight after, making the previous action completely unnecssary. 

Jack lifted his head just enough to look the black robed Lord straight in the eye.

"Just get me the fuck out of here, painlessly if possible."





"You son of a bitch!" Jack screamed, chasing Ollie across the rooftops brandishing a fireaxe that by all means he shouldnt be able to even lift two inches off the ground? "Why the hell did i have to die there? And why the fuck is my penis missing?"

"Don't ask me, Jackass." Ollie yelled, shooting a single fireball in Jack's general direction, "Why dont you ask that piece of trailer trash that brought you back to life?" he yelled again, firing yet another ball of flaming death and sarcasm.

which hit a rather large tent.

"Is it possible for you two nutcases NOT to wreck something for more than a minute?!" Both could hear from where the fiery projectile had hit. The voice turned out to belong to none other than the love of Ollies evil life. Princess Luna herself. Her glorious, overreacting, flying, royal, magic, self.

"I am so sorry my glorius cruel and beautiful concubine!" Ollie almost sang, extending a hand towards her. "Could you indulge your faithful servant and explain what you were carrying around?" The hand he had extended lit on fire, "And whether or not i shall rally the pitiful peasants to aid you?"

Luna sighed, and her brows quickly furrowed to set an example. "Where preparing for the Sister-hooves social. An annual event where the sisters of Equestria teams up and participate in different activities to win......"

"Some stupid ribbon i bet." Jack whined. "With some sort of rainbow pattern and stars in the middle to mark the greatness of 'friendship!" 

"umm, Jack, i think youre hurting poor Ollie."

Indeed, Ollie was currently lying on his back, foam gathering at his non-exsistent lips. He was twitching and spasming in totally sparatic way.

"Eh, dont worry, hell be back in a few minutes."





"In the name of Chronos himself Overlord, first Jack, and now you?" Hades yelled. Picking up the wrecked spirit of the Dark Lord. "Whats happening in that weird world?"

"Hades, just get me back."

"Pssh." hades huffed. "Ive never Experienced a more impatient individual than you." Hades eyes glazed over a bit before he nodded meanfully. "WIth the exception of Kratos, dude never shuts up."

"Hades, just get me the fuck back to the surface world!" Ollie yelled, pointing a single flaming finger.

"Gees, impatience is not a virtue, despite what you may think!"





"Did you say a 500 bits price?!" Was all Ollie could hear as he woke up. But to Jack's credit, it actually did get Ollie back on his legs.

"500 bits?" Ollie asked, his tongue still not quite working as his soul had only just entered his body. So it sounded more like "fluve hrundred Blurts?"

"Yes Ollie." Luna nodded with a smile, thanful for having them distracted for at least a little while. "We've replaced the usual price of ribbons with 500 bits in price money."

"Where do we sign up?" Jack asked excitedly, with Ollie nodding fevorly right beside him.

"Sorry guys, only Mares can enter,"





Literally five seconds later, the door to the library was ripped from its hinges, as Jack yelled.....

"Twilight, do you know a gender switching spell?!"

> The Overlord and the Sisterhooves social part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Remind me why where doing this again?" Ollie asked, throwing away the squirrel he had been tormenting out of sheer boredom.

"You wanted to become mares?" Twilight asked, raising a conspicuous eyebrow at Ollie, and thereafter an angry look at the squirrel who was now chewing her books.

"There's no 'we' about any of this Twilight!" Ollie screamed. "It's this perfect representative of gods biggest feces that's so damn money hungry that he's willing to lose his own dick just to get more!" He pointed towards Jack, who was furiously flipping through books at the speed of sound itself. But he did have the courtesy to look up and put on the most devilish smile.

"Not just mine Ollie, yours too, remember that."

Ollie's eyes grew wide enough to scrape the edges of his helmet. They might've grown bigger if he hadn't turned tail and started running out the window.

Until he stopped dead in his tracks, and a familiar voice caught the attention of Twilight.

"Not so fast you illiterate mongrel."

Twilight lit up in a smile at the sound of an actually pleasant familiar voice. "Maximillion, is that you?"

Jack just stared in disbelief at Ollie's now blue eyes.

"It would indeed be me my dearest Twilight Sparkle." Maximillion made a quick and graceful bow before strutting towards the Brit and the unicorn. "I personally find this idea to be incredible, anything that displeases Ollie pleases me!"

Jack stood up and put a single hand on Maximillions shoulder, "Ollie, how many shrooms did you hide under your armor?"

Maximillion looked at Jack in surprise before slapping himself on the forehead. "Of course!" He reached a hand out in an attempt to shake Jacks hand, but he quickly jumped backwards. "I don't think we've been formerly introduced dear Jack, I am Maximillian Q. Painington, the one you know as Ollie's conscience." He took another step forward and tried to shake Ollie's hand again, but Jack jumped back once again.

"Ollie, of all the stupid pranks you've tried to pull off this is definitely the stupidest." He pulled out one of his seemingly unlimited knives. "What spell is it this time? Transformation? Incineration? Curse of tongues? What bullshit have you got planned?"

"Oh please my dear Jack, nothing of that unreasonably horrific sort was on my mind, I merely wish to assist you in your quest to gain fortune and glory."

Jack turned to Twilight with the most puzzled expression in the entire universe. "What exactly have you done to him?"





Taking the time to repeat the first four chapters, but unfortunately that was cut because the budget ran out halfway through because of Novablast's love for coffee, noodles, and snack sticks.

But now that I have tied him to a chair with the promise of one instant cup-o-noodles when he finishes this chapter, it should go a little more smoothly.





"So you're actually legit?" Jack raised an eyebrow as he still pointed the shiv at Maximillion. "You're actually not Ollie, just his conscience?"

"Indeed, and it just so happens that the body that I inhabit has the ability to change not only your gender, but also my own." He turned to Twilight, "and also yours if it should suit your needs."

Twilight winced, "no, I'm alright."

"Well," Jack started excitedly, "what the hell are you waiting for? Beam me up Scotty!"

"Alright," Maximillion took a few steps back and readied his hands that were now shimmering with a fine blue light. "This may hurt slightly."

A beam of shining white light erupted from his fingertips and shot directly into the chest of Jack, making him shake as if under a seizure. Soon he was lifted into the air, defying all laws of gravity that had ever existed. Soon the spectacle grew brighter and brighter, so bright in fact that Maximillion has to look away.

A fatal mistake.

The beam veered slightly off to the side. And the light show started fading. But as Jack came into sight again, the brightness grew to levels far more intense than anything they had seen before. 

And then Jack was gone.

Maximillion was standing there, looking at the black charred floor with awe and shock. He took himself to the forehead, "this wasn't supposed to happen...."

"No it bloody well shouldn't," Twilight yelled, running over to examine her floor and the disappearance of the Englishman. "What the hell have you done?"

"Not really anythingTwilight." A voice said from outside the door, "but he did do this."

And then the door opened, and made Maximillion smile pridefully.

"Success."





At the stand where miss Cheerilee was currently signing the papers of those sisters who were participating, a gauntlet smacked down onto the wooden surface with a filled out pamphlet.

Jennifer, and Olivia.




> The Over......Lady and the Sisterhooves social part 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was hanging low over the outlying fields of Ponyville. Everyone had gathered there, either to watch the games or to participate. The apple family was selling a variety of snacks, with the two youngest members of the family absent, as they were going to join in on the games.

All in all, it was perfect. Except for a pair of sticks in the mud.

Everyone was kinda stumped about the mysterious disappearance of the two resident humans. That isn't to say they weren't happy about it, maybe they could finally just terrorise some other place that was hopefully more than 200 miles from Ponyville.

But the disappearance of Ollie and Jack, had in stead presented the appearance of Olivia, a fucking gigantic lady wearing the exact same armour as Ollie, although with a more curvy breastplate, and her 'sister'  Jennifer, a posh Lady wearing a black waistcoat with top hat and small round glasses.

And still, no one had figured out who they were.

"It's a wonder no one's questioned us yet." Ollie whispered, his voice was still hollow, but somehow sounded more feminine. "Especially when you're playing with those damn knives all the time."

"I can't help it." Jack was spinning the tip of the knife on his nail, occasionally throwing it into the air before having it land the exact same way, still spinning. "I've never been able to do this before, so give me some time to at least experience it."

"you're more childish than a newborn." Ollie groaned, walking to a nearby stand to be as far away from "Jennifer" as possible.

"Howdy there lil missy, what can ah getcha?"

The old mare who had asked Olivia made Ollie freeze and stand stiff as a board. Because that voice belonged to the stereotypical cow-mare that he, like anything in this bloody world, he hated like the plague.

"Why hello there!" Ollie said, her voice so high pitched it could've cut through glass. "So nice to meet you!" you old hag. Olivia thought, he could just manage to not grab hold of the old mare and stuff her into a bin.

"You too missy, you too," Granny Smith smiled. She was spreading what looked like jam onto a piece of toast. "I don't recall seeing you here before, mind telling me yer name?"

"Why this is Olivia!" Jack said, reaching an arm around Ollie. "And I'm Jennifer, were here to participate in the Sisterhooves social."

Granny Smith had stopped spreading the jam and was now staring quizzically at Jennifer. "I could swear I've seen you two somewhere, but I can't really put my hoof on it." She was kind of T-bowing, looking like some of those Greek philosophers Ollie had killed off for asking questions that went along the line of; why exactly aren't we rebelling? Or, how do we get the same powers as him and overthrow him?

Needless to say, Ollie was itching to set the entire booth on fire, with whatever living beings and precious items were inside.

"You wouldn't by any chance be related to the apple family would'cha?"

Jacks eyes looked like they were gonna glaze over completely. A half lidded expression of malign contempt. "No, I'm pretty sure we're not."

"Well, I'm sorry youngins, but I have to get back ta workin. These goods don't bake themselves now do they?" Granny Smith giggled, before going into a cough fit that made Olivia smile for the first time that day.

"Come on," Jack tucked at Ollie's shoulder, "I doubt that we'll get anything out of being here any longer, except some strange disease that causes your snot to turn into jam."

"How exactly did you come up with that ridiculous a concept?" Olivia asked, raising a nonexistent eyebrow.

"Blame Nova, he's the bastard writing this crap."

Ollie shrugged, "fair enough."

"Mares and gentle stallions of both participating and spectating nature, please direct your gazes towards the tribune, where our princesses will now officially open the Sisterhooves social."

Both Ollie and Jennifer looked towards the large tribune, or more specifically, the large VIP section, reserved for the Canterlot nobles and the princesses themselves. And sure enough, both princesses were right there, in broad daylight.

As an assassin, this kind of royal behaviour made Jack squirm in annoyance.

Luna stepped up. "Greetings citizens of Ponyville!" Her voice was much louder than it should've been, probably because of magic, Ollie thought, that was the shorthand explanation for everything in Equestria.

"Me and my sister are here today, to officially begin the 100th Sisterhooves Social! We are very happy to be overlooking the competition alongside the commentators of today's matches. Those two will be Total cookie, professional hoofball caster, and the captain of the royal guard himself, Shining armour!"

As if materialising from some alternate plane, two ponies, one of them being Shining of course, and the other was a stark grey unicorn with a monocle and top hat. "Thank you so much your highness, and yes I'm sure we're in for some interesting competition today, don't you think so Shining?" The one called Total Cookie asked, the question directed towards shining, who seemed about as excited as a tuna inside of a sharks mouth.

"Indeed Total Cookie, the lineup of today is traditional but no less exciting. Last years champions Sweetie belle and Rarity return in full force, we have cloud chaser and raindrops whom haven't joined since 97th, the winning team of the last five years Applejack and Applebloom are looking fierce and fit for fight, it would also seem that some adopting must've happened because we have Scootaloo and Rainbow dash making a first time appearance."

"That's right, and they're not the only one making a spectacular first timer. We have Olivia and Jennifer joining in for the first time ever. They're both humans, just like the two resident chaotic idiots of Ponyville, Jack and Ollie."

Jennifer rolled up her sleeves, "what did he say?"

"Indeed, we'll be looking forward to seeing the competitors in the arena for the first competition, which will be back-scratcher."

Ollie turned to Jennifer with, once again, a nonexistent raised eyebrow.

"It's basically tag, but you have to touch the back."

Olivia nodded, and somehow managed to pull out a pair of sunglasses. "Well, you could say that I've.........

.....got your back"








> The Over.......lady and the Sisterhooves social part 4
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I call bullshit!"

Raindrops was standing in the small warded off area that served as the back-scratcher arena, as the only one besides Jennifer and Olivia, standing back to back, every single other combatant sitting on the sidelines sulking their butts off.

"What's wrong Raindrops?" Shining stepped into the arena, seemingly oblivious to the blatant cheating that was going on in front of him.

"They're standing back to back Shining, how is this actually allowed?" She pointed accusingly at the two burly women who were currently wearing a grin, as Jeniffer had to fill in for both, Olivia's lack of mouth and all.

"Have you thought about flying away Raindrops? You're a pegasus for crying out loud!" Someone from the sidelines yelled. That someone turned out to to be the now disqualified Rainbow Dash, who had tried to kick Olivia in the head to have her and Jeniffer separated. This had resulted in her back leg now being wrapped in a bandage as the bone had almost cracked, as if shed kicked a brick wall. But considering Ollie's thick skull, a wall would probably have been preferable.

"Oh yeah, and end up disqualified like you?" Raindrops asked sarcastically, raising and eyebrow and looking so smug that it was unreal. "Are you lonely?"

"Hell yeah!" Rainbow exclaimed, waving her hooves around and successfully knocking Raritys latte out of her hooves. "I've been stuck here for the last half hour while you've tried to find an opening that isn't there! Just give up already!"

"Never, I am a proud pegasus, I have trained along with my sister for this event for ages, and nothing is going to stop neither me or her from winning this, even if it shall take me a thousand years!"

"Tap motherfucker!" 

Olivia was standing right behind Raindrops, a single hand on her back. If Raindrops wasn't such a calm collected pony, she might've done something REALLY drastic.

Like strangle Olivia, and then Shining when he tried to calm her down. But of course none of that happened, because what you're currently reading is rated teen, so we would definitely not have anyone die while you read it.....

Never....

But yes, Raindrops definitely didn't do any of the things I said she didn't do. And the reason why Olivia had problems breathing afterwards was because she had a throat ache, despite her lack of actual lungs, and throat. And Raindrops was only disqualified.... I mean no longer participating, because she got upset about losing.

"Can someone get the next sodding paragraph so I don't have to stall anymore?"





"That's crazy bitch!" Olivia hissed, rubbing her throat in pain. "I can't believe she would actually try and strangle me!





NO NO CUT CUT!

This isn't right, let me just...... And that...... And...... There we go, okay. ACTION!





"God dammit my throat hurts," Olivia mumbled, now both she and Jeniffer were wearing their back scratcher ribbons. A rake surrounded by a gold outline, with a red backdrop.

"I told you to remember your cough drops, but nooooo, you'd be fine you said, you'd be fine you said!" Jeniffer snarled, waving her hands back and forth sassily, "but look what that got you!"

"Shut the fuck up Jack or I will tear your heart out and shove it straight up your ass." Ollie said, some of his original voice creeping out through the femininity. Which made Jacks eyes go wide in fear.

"Dude, what happened to your chest?"

Olivia looked down, and saw that her before larger than average boobs had suddenly become flatter. Now, he was experiences enough in the female anatomy (having about a 100 concubines in each conquered country helped a little) to know that the breasts would over time become smaller. But he also knew that this happened over several years, not just an hour.

"I..... Don't know..... What about your hands?"

Certainly enough, Jacks hands were becoming predominantly more male, thicker and more robust, the nails growing less point and more blunt. His knuckles were also becoming larger, and his arms had grown back most of their male hair growth.

"Is the spell waning?" Jack asked worriedly, and if summoned upon a whim. Alexander came seeping into Olivia's eyeballs, turning them blue.

"Yes indeed gentlemen," he said, his voice also predominantly more feminine than what they were used to. But it was still the wholesome Australian they'd come to appreciate, at least appreciate it when they only had to imagine it. "No spell lasts forever, and this one was only temporary. If you are it still compete and win this competition, you'll have to hurry."

"How much time do we have?"  Ollie's voice suddenly asked, one of the eyeballs becoming red again.

"If my calculations are correct, which they usually are. You have precisely 3 hours left until the spell completely wears off."

Ollie sighed and his shoulders slumped down, "we'll never make it!" He exclaimed. His voice turning wholesomely feminine again, as the blue from Alexander disappeared.

Jack slapped him, and looked him straight into his eyes.

"Remember Ollie..."

"A winner is us!"
> The Over.....lady and the Sisterhooves social part 5
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Welcome back everyone, to the live broadcast of the 100th Sisterhooves social. I am your commentator Total Cookie of Equestrian Olympics fame, I am joined today by Prince Shining armor, former captain of the guard, and captain of the Canterlot hockey team. What do you think of the latest matches ol' chap?"

Shining looked ready to kill his fellow commentator, who had so far done nothing but interrupt Shining when he'd tried to tell the audience about the matches. It had been so much easier to commentate alone, when this annoying stuck up Asshat didn't constantly steal the spotlight.

"I think the matches so far have been fairly predictable. Every single time the choices of competition have presented definite favorable situations for our players. But the team that has surprised many is of course Olivia and Jeniffer, who was either been winning on a streak or done amazingly."

"Yes indeed, our two human players certainly seem to be adept in everything their opponents can throw at them. But so far they are tied with Fleetfoot and Cloudchaser in wins, so it all really comes down to this last competition. Why don't you tell us all what the last one is mate."

if it'll make you shut up, Shining thought to himself, but rather he said. "Certainly, just let me get the papers." As he said this the papers levitated towards him, he placed them in front of his eyes and knitted his eyebrows a second after. "Evil laughter contest?"

"But that hasn't been used since the 52nd ShS." Total Cookie said quizzically, grabbing the papers from Shining and running them over quickly, mumbling to himself. "But apparently this is the last competition, so tune back in half an hour to hear me and Shining commentate on the last match."

Somewhere in the crowd you could hear the sound of a pair of metal gauntlets scraping together in joy.





Jack, or Jeniffer, was snoozing calmly next to a tree, enjoying the the sound of the chirping birds. While he was a bloodthirsty and ice cold murderer, he still enjoyed the simple pleasures in life, stuff like good food, rest, and the sound of his boss shouting at him.

Wait....

"Jack, get the fuck up!" 

Shit.

Jack opened his eyes drowsily to find himself staring straight into an armored crotch. Whereupon he immediately redirected his gaze until he stared into first a pair of armored breasts, and lastly into a helmet with a pair of red glowing eyes.

"Well hello Ollie, whatever is so important that you interrupt my nap?" He asked in a sugar coated voice, which sounded even more preeny because of his current situation. 

The red glowing eyes of the Overlord shifted slightly as to reveal confusion. "Excuse me twit head, but did you not just hear the commentators?" Ollie pointed towards the elevated booth were both shining and cookie were currently located, no doubt tearing at each other's throats.

"No," Jack said, narrowing his eyes. "I. Was. Sleeping. In case you didn't notice."

Ollie rolled his eyes, which meant that they literally did a flip in the dark void that was his face. "It doesn't matter," he said, reaching into his armor he pulled out a sheet of paper. "Here, give it a read."

Jack coiled back as Ollie threw the page towards his face. He quickly grabbed it before it successfully hit him, and he scanned it. It was an expanded list of the competitions they'd participated in so far. He looked to the bottom, smile growing wide as he did.

"Evil laughter contest?" He looked up at Ollie, who despite his lack of mouth still looked merrier than a child on Christmas. "I can't actually believe that you'd go as far as to fake a list to trick me bud, but i ain't falling for it, when would they ever make a competition that stupid?" Jack finished, leaning back towards the tree and pulling his hat below his eyes.

Ollie very quickly put a stop to that though, whipping the hat of the Brit with his hand. "No you nimwit, this is the official list. I had a talk with the peo- ponies running this malarkey, apparently were supposed to choose a candidate to represent our team."

Jack tugged lightly at his jacket with a prideful smile. "Well, I'm proud that you'd choose me over all other available candidates, I shall do my best to be worthy of the honor you've bestowed upon me-"

"Shut up and let me enter."

"Alright yeah....."






> The Overlord and the Sisterhooves Social Finale
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack, or Jeniffer as most ponies on the sidelines and stages knew her, was sitting in the booth reserved to all the participants. It was honestly a very comfy room. Green walls with a sky blue ceiling, a intricately made carpet that did little to cover up the wooden floor, and some couches with pillows placed as to be comfortable to lean against but not overwhelming.

At least, that's how it had looked.

Now, about three fire breathing shows from Ollie, a knife juggling and throwing display from Jack, and several fights between the two before mentioned twats, it looks considerably less nice.

Most of the pillows were torn up or were reduced to smoldering pieces of cotton, the sofas had scratch and burn marks from knives and infernos belonging to their respective owners, and there was only 3 walls left, seeing as Ollie and his minion had completely smashed the fourth wall.

But at least the problem of air conditioning was fixed.

Jack had taken the least destroyed sofa and pulled it all the way over to the large window that overlooked the stadium. He could see the various crowds brandishing banners and flags with their favorites. For some reason both he and Ollie had gained a huge following during the competition. Something Jack wasn't used to unless the following was of people brandishing pitchforks, torches, and a wanted poster with his face on it.

He had to be honest, it felt kind of nice.

He quickly pushed the thought out of his head as he saw Ollie heading out onto the stage. Of course no one but him, and Twilight, knew that this was Ollie, everyone else was convinced that they were either cheering or booing at Olivia, a plate wearing Amazonian and surprisingly curvy lady that had a knack for physical strength, never dying, and shooting fire from any surface of her body.

Her combatant was Fleetfoot, apparently the one the two sisters had chosen for this. There were some that cheered for her, but the cheering was considerably less noisy than what Ollie had gotten.

The pegasus was wearing skintight spandex that she presumably owned. Jack was laughing a little internally. She had brought a knife to a gunfight.

The referee stepped out onto the 'battlefield' with the whistle already in his mouth. He waved the two closer towards the middle, until they were standing face to face. Or more accurately, face to belly button. 

"Alright you two, I want a nice clean competition. If hooves of fists ever come into use I will step in and disqualify the pony..." The ref turned to Ollie before continuing, "or.... Thing, that started the blows. Is that clear?"

"Completely!" Fleetfoot saluted comically, trying her best to seem serious. Making Ollie roll his eyes.

"Clear as your soul." Ollie said, making the unicorn turn around and stare bewildered into the glowing red eyes. Ollie just smiled, which immediately made the ref turn away.

The unicorn lifted a hoof into the air before blowing the whistle. The game was on!

Fleetfoot, apparently forgetting what kind of competition this was, started jumping around Ollie. Doing wheelies and rolls around him. Ollie himself just stared at the pegasus in confusion and mild enjoyment.

Finally Fleetfoot stopped. She turned to the crowd and flew up into the air, throwing her forelegs upward to signal for an uproar. Ollie now glared fire at the pegasus, she had wasted his time with showboating.

She landed in front of him again, this time smiling smugly. Ollie nodded in her direction before lifting a hand into the air. From his palm erupted a gigantic pillar of flame. Soon the inferno took form into a massive bird that flew higher and higher, before exploding in a colorful display.

Fleetfoot's cheering had been loud, but Ollie's was louder. The entire stadium shook with excitement as mares, stallion, colts, and fillies all shouted his name.

He lifted his arms out to the side. "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!" He shouted. Once again receiving shouts of excitement. 

"Olivia! Olivia! Olivia!"

He turned back to Fleetfoot, who was now staring at him in both awe, jealousy, and anger. "Let's get this over with." Ollie said, dusting off his shoulder for no reason. "I've got a prize to cash in."

Fleetfoot stepped back, breathing in as much air as she could. The entire stadium went silent as they waited for her contribution to the competition.

"Mwahahahahahaha!"

The entire stadium was silent for a few seconds, and then a few more. Actually the first sound after her laugh was Ollie cracking up and rolling on the floor.

"Seriously?" He managed to get out in between tears of laughter. "That's the best you could dish up?" He pushed himself off the ground before shaking his head. "Watch a pro in action."

Ollie breathed in, just as Fleetfoot had done. But the result was a little bit........ Different

The crowd was as silent as they'd been when Fleetfoot had finished. But this time it wasn't out of total embarrassment and disappointment, but out of awe. 

Fleetfoot however, was not happy. She threw down her participation emblem, and then proceeded to thrash it into the ground. She walked angrily out the stadium, her sister quickly following her to.... Cheer her up, keep her from breaking stuff, Ollie wasn't sure.

But as soon as she left, the crowd exploded. They shouted Olivia at the top of their lungs. The few faithful Fleetfoot fans were walking out of the stadium, their hopes crushed. Princess Celestia and Luna jumped off and flew slowly toward Ollie, who was staring at Luna with a dazed and extremely happy look.

The two princesses landed in front of him, Luna carrying a small basket.

"Olivia, you have proven yourself a capable...... Mare, and therefore it is an honor for both me and my sister to give you the prize of the 100th Sisterhooves social." Celestia almost yelled, making sure that everyone could hear her.

Luna stepped forwards and placed the basket in Ollie's hands. Ollie nodded, not wishing to say something stupid in front of the love of his life.

Just then, he felt a small prickling in the back of his head. Alexander.

"I'd like to remind you that the spell is still waning Ollie." Alexander's clear voice echoed through Ollie's head. 

"How much time?"

"I'd give it about 5 seconds."

And just like that, Ollie disappeared in a puff of smoke, and appeared in the same spot as his usual self.

The two princesses stared at him for about 30 seconds. During which Ollie was staring back just as bewildered and most likely as shocked as them.

"Umm, surprise?"

Celestia glared at him for about five seconds more before shouting, "Get him!"





Jack has been staring at the whole ordeal, and suddenly his breasts were gone, and he was his usual creepy, dorky, and handsome self. While he was happy he could now look intimidating again, he also knew this meant Ollie has turned human while he could be seen.

And sure enough, soon Ollie appeared through a small dark portal in the same room as him. Wheezing and panting exertion.

"Jack, through this portal is every single angry pony in about 10 miles radius," Ollie said, pointing at the gateway with fear. "Soon they'll be going through, and we'll be toast."

"I'm ready to fight!" Jack declared, pulling his knives out of his sleeves.

"Good." Ollie said, grabbing him by the lapels, "Casue you're gonna have to." He threw Jack into the portal, and as Jack glided through the darkness, he said his final words to his best friend.

"AAAASHOOOOLE!"





> The Overlord and the one who never laughs
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Olivia was no more, and Ollie was back.

That had been the word around town as soon as the Sisterhooves social had ended. Everyone attending the event had seen it happen right before their very eyes. The beloved Amazonian woman had been replaced by the prick they all knew and hated.

And of course Jack was back as well, but no one really cared about him.

But suspiciously, neither Ollie nor Jack was anywhere to be seen in ponyville.

While normally this would've been welcome by the denizens of the smalltown, there hadn't even been a single raid, a single fight between the two morons, not even a good old fashioned explosion of fire from Ollie. It had been oh so wonderfully quiet and peaceful these last few months.

And that was even scarier than anything those two had done so far.

At the very least when the two deities were fucking about they could be stopped by the princesses. But when they weren't doing anything it was impossible to tell when they would strike, and everypony were keeping at least one eye on the sky at all times.

Well, at least Ollie got a small amount of amusement by watching them writhe.

He was sitting in some sort of pocket dimension. Someplace with no grass, no trees, actually nothing other than white stone. Celestia had sent him here at some point, and he'd had no problems getting out. But he had grown fond of the place, and whenever someone, or somepony, were a bit too hot on his trail he'd head there.

This time though, he was visited by the most unlikely of ponies. Although she was certainly not unwelcome.

"We were wondering where you had gone off to." Luna said, moving closer to where Ollie was standing. "I never thought I would find you here on the moon."

"So that's what this place is called!" Ollie said, dead panning. He'd destroyed the moon on earth, simply because he hated how it looked. He'd completely forgotten how one of those looked.

He also made a small mental note to remove the flag he'd placed claiming this place as part of his kingdom.

"I knew you were dense, but not to such a degree." Luna sighed. Her horn lit up in its characteristic dark blue hue and lifted a scroll out from behind her. "We received this a few days ago."

Ollie stared with suspicion at the scroll. "And what exactly does that have to do with me?"

"The first line reads, to the idiotic mongrel wearing half a car as armor....."

"Give it here!" Ollie said, extending a hand and grabbing the scroll. He swiftly tore it open and immediately recognized Jacks ugly as all hell handwriting.



To the Idiotic Mongrel wearing half a car as armor.

1. I fucking hate you for all the wounds I had to tend after our last meeting.

2. Hey Ollie, get to Canterlot, there's someone here who's mighty interested in meeting you.



"Oh Jack......" Ollie said with false affection. He bent his wrist slightly and the scroll went up in flames. Ollie turned to Luna with a grin. "It would seem the assassin has emerged from the waters."

"Shouldn't you go and find him then?" She asked, hoping she could leave before he started spouting his affection for her again.

"Yeah, we should." Ollie said, grabbing hold of Luna and swinging her over his shoulder.

"PUT ME DOWN IMMEDIATELY YOU FILTHY APE!" She screamed. Ollie meanwhile was opening a portal that would hopefully take them to Canterlot. "I WILL HAVE YOU PUT IN CHAINS FOR THIS!"

"Well excuuuuse me princess."
> The Overlord and the one who never laughs part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, above the skies of Canterlot..........





"ITS A BLACK HOLE!" Someone shouted, making everyone not on the wrong side of Birlam turn their heads. What they were greeted with was a giant spinning vortex that only seemed to grow in size by the second.

But then, they noticed something that almost seemed to drop from it.

A figure, plummeting towards the ground as if a meteor. Fire engulfing the small figure that got ever closer, until every pony, pegasus, and unicorn could hear the whistling sound of him hurtling towards the surface.

But soon, that came to an abrupt halt as the thing landed. And immediately everyone soured up.

"Sup bitches!" Ollie screamed, throwing up the horns with his right hand, seeing as his left was still carrying a pretty dazed luna over his shoulder. "The Overlord is back!"

Were before everyone had been ducking for cover, they were now just glaring at Ollie.

"What?" He said shrugging as best he could with an unconscious princess slumped over his shoulder. "This really shouldn't piss you off at this point."

"Get the F#cker!" Someone yelled, and that sparked the wave. Everypony dropped whatever they'd been holding onto before and charged after Ollie, who despite his attempts to look cool had known this would happen from the instant he'd landed, turned around and ran as fast as his armour would allow him.

And what a perfect time for Luna to wake up again.

Ollie heard some in audible noises from his left, and at first he paid it no mind. But when he outright heard moans he turned his head slightly, and saw that Luna's eyes were slowly opening. Which, was soon accompanied by a "WHAT IN THE NAME OF TARTARUS AND ALL THE UNHOLY CREATURES I HAVE TRAPPED WITHIN, ARE YOU DOING?"

"Running, I think that should be kind of obvious!" He shouted back, catching his breath and trying his best to concentrate. Which Luna somehow noticed, probably because she could finally detect some intelligence in that head of his.

"What're you doing you infantile idiot?" She yelled, breaking Ollie's concentration slightly.

"I'm trying to find Jack," he said, turning a left corner. "I'm just trying to detect incredible stupidity."

Luna seemed like she was about to say something but closed her mouth before a word escaped. "Fair enough." She said, slumping back down and realising that she would get no more conversation there.

But then Ollie stopped, at a dead end.

"Shit, shit shit shit!" Ollie cursed to himself. "I can feel he's close, I know he is!"

He just finished that sentence, as he was pulled into a small alleyway.

"You seriously need to be more careful you twit." Said a familiar cockney voice from the shadows. Said voice was Jack, still wearing his top hat, waistcoat, and small glasses. "You were close to gathering all of Canterlot here."

Ollie smirked, "You know how it is, they just can't help themselves."

"Hurhurhur, very funny." Jack rolled his eyes and waved his boss along, "come on, I fear that we might be wasting too much time by standing here doodling."

"Well well, look who's got his big boy pants on all of a sudden." Ollie said mockingly, before he noticed that Jack was actually looking remarkably serious, when juxtaposed with his usual behaviour. "You're serious?"

"Remember when I told you in the letter that I'd found someone who'd like to meet you?" Jack asked, to which Ollie nodded with little amusement. "It's him."

Luna looked up at Jack, every time something was referred to as an it, or him, or her, it was usually something very very bad.

Ollie, much like Jack, retained remarkable seriousness through the entire conversation. "Lead the way, and hurry up."

Jack nodded and turned around. He started walking and Ollie followed suit. They followed similar looking brick walls down completely identical alleys until finally they reached what seemed to be fire, and upon further inspection it was a small fire. With a pony sitting next to it.

"Is that him?" Ollie asked, pointing at the unicorn huddled in a blanket next to the fire. To Luna the pony didn't look extremely important, mostly he looked like a bum.

"Indeed, he doesn't seem to remember anything about the whole ordeal." Jack nodded towards the unicorn. "Or even how he got here. But he's constantly been mumbling your actual name ever since I found him."

"You think he might remember me?" Ollie asked, constantly confusing Luna with every word that escaped Jack and Ollie's mouths.

"Okay," Luna started, "I have a lot of questions, but right now I will keep it simple.... Can you put me down, please?"

Ollie nodded before lifting Luna down as carefully as he could. When Luna finally had both hooves on the ground she breathed out. "I swear, if you ever carry me around like that again I will murder you slowly and painfully."

She shook her head, "Now, please tell me who this pony is."




> The Overlord and the one who never laughs part 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well, what if I told you that he's me?" Ollie asked, pointing at the pony near the small bonfire. He got a dirty and bemused look from Luna.

"I'd tell you that you need to lay of the hallucinogenics." She said, to which Jack cooed in with a short "Badum Tish."

"No, I'm deadly serious." Ollie said, nodding enthusiastically like a small kid. "Wanna hear the story?"

"No, not really."

"Too bad."





Twas an age ago, when the stars had not yet been destroyed and Jack had not yet become the giant dickhead he was now!

"And you hadn't started drinking."  Jack muttered.

"I think you're talking about paradise itself Ollie, because i have trouble believing such a place even exists." Luna commented dryly. Eliciting a high five from Jack.

"Shut up, both of you, I'm being dramatic...... And shit." Ollie yelled. Shooting a single fireball right past their heads, which with justification scared a couple of hobos completely shitless.

"As I was saying..... In this lost and forgotten age a conqueror lived, he was sexy and handsome, strong and clever, intelligent and loved by everyone!" 

"Who's he talking about Jack?" Luna asked, causing the Englishman to shrug.

"Isn't it obvious?" Ollie said in the most suave way he could, which doesn't really say much.

Jack was scratching his head in confusion as he looked at his hand counting. "Confusios the Magnificent?" Jack muttered to himself. "Nah, nobody liked that old geezer, and he wasn't particularly strong." Jack scratched his head again while Ollie continued.

"And if Jack didn't immediately shut up he'd be gutted with the wire of a Wall-mart discount toaster!" Ollie said, looking particularly pissed. Which was like his regular pissed but he had this sort of really disgusted look on his face.

"The hell is a wall-mart?" Luna asked.

"Precisely what you just said. It's hell." Jack answered.

"If we can get back on topic?" Ollie growled, once again his hand a lit with fire.

"Sure, but can you quit the entire epic tale theme?" Luna asked, shifting uncomfortably in place. "It gives me the creeps."

Ollie sighed. "Fine," he said. "I'll quit my awesome tale of epic awesomeness and settle for the boring and mundane way of telling you Bout this."

Ollie sat down on a small crate and leant against the wall. "That pony there is me."

"I understood that the first f#cking time you said it." Luna said exasperatedly. Sighing with annoyance and giving Ollie the stinkeye.

Ollie didn't pay her any attention however, and he just continued talking. "Back in my homeland I was slowly growing older, and I knew that at some point I would need someone who could take up arms once I had died. I needed an heir."

Luna had eventually calmed down and stopped tearing at her mane. "Okay, so what does that have to do with this pony?"

"Well, I couldn't exactly leave my throne in unsafe hands. So I needed somebody I could fully control and manipulate. So I decided to create one." Ollie explained. Speaking slowly as if to a five year old.

"You made a pony?" Luna asked bemused and slightly confused.

"NO!" Ollie yelled. Accidentally slamming his head into the brick wall, causing the wall to have a small hole, from where two pegasi stared out with confusion. "I'd suggest you get out of here guys, I can't guarantee the survival of you if ya don't." Jack said, to which both pegasi nodded and hurried along.

"He's a shapeshifter!" Ollie said, just as slowly as before. But now with the voice of someone speaking with a brain-damaged ten year old. 

"........ What drugs are you on right now?"

Ollie slapped himself in the face before he started sobbing into his palms. "Why am I surrounded by people with intelligences that would bring shame to a fucking earthworm?!" He cried.

"I guess you're rubbing off on us." Luna said dryly, long ago having lost all energy that she'd have used to be upset with him.

Ollie shook his head and clenched his head. "Okay, focus Ollie, focus...." He said, taking some deep breaths. "Okay, I'm good."

"Great," Jack said, "maybe she can finally get the fucking explanation for this entire menagerie!"

"That'd be lovely." Luna quipped, leaning against the wall and getting as comfortable as she could in a brick alley.

"I was unable to find a good replacement for my wonderful self, so I decided to create one in my own image. But apparently the spell work wasn't exactly finalized and well enough polished, seeing as the...... Thing I summoned was part Imp. Although much more intelligent." Ollie said, finishing his story as quickly as he could.

"It was created with drops of my blood, The body of a deceased blue imp, certain dark incantations I learned from a guy I meet at the gay bar, and various different ingredients from my dark and evil kitchen, and then I dumped it all into my Easy Summon Ritual Pit." Ollie said, indicating with his hands that the story had come to an end.

"That is literally the worst origin for an evil partner ever." Luna said with very unimpressed eyes. 

"Well fuck you, it's better if you experienced it first hand." Ollie said, waving her off and focusing on the pony, or demo rather, sitting near the campfire. "I'm just wondering why he's here."

"Just ask him."
> The Overlord and the one who never laughs part 4
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ollie sat down opposite the pony and scratched his head. "So............" He said awkwardly. "Do you really not remember anything?"

The pony didn't say anything, he just looked at Ollie before he started staring into the fire again.

"So, maybe we should start with introductions." Ollie said, moving so he was sitting next to the pony. "I'm Ollie, or The Overlord if you prefer. Whats your name?"

The pony looked at Ollie and shrugged before he started staring into the fire again.

"Oh, right, sorry." Ollie said, rubbing his neck absent mindedly. He turned to Jack and Luna and made a motion that seemed to say 'The fuck am i exactly supposed to do.' Which was returned with a "I don't know!" From both the Alicorn and the murderer.

Ollie turned to look at the pony again and started thinking. There had to be some way of reminding him of his previous life....... Reminding, Ollie thought to himself. A grin spread across his grin, or rather his pupils formed into two devious lines that could maybe resemble deviousness, or constipation.

"Alright, come here." Ollie said to the pony, dragging the hobo along. Throughout this entire ordeal, much to his credit, the pony hadn't winced or even changed his expression in the slightest.

Ollie placed him on a box near the wall and dragged both Luna and Jack over so they were standing in front of him. "Okay guys, i need to have your consent to what im about to do."

"I wouldn't participate in anything you ever thought of, and no amount of loot could persuade me." Jack said, to which Luna nodded quickly and enthusiastically. 

"M'kay, just stand there and wait for a little while." Ollie said, completely disregarding the words of the murderer. He walked back to the pony and got his attention by waving his hand at him. "Okay, so you need to watch this very closely."

The pony still didn't utter a word, in stead he just blinked and stared at Jack and Luna with an expression of extreme loathing. Ollie however didn't notice it, and proceeded with his plan.

Lighting Jack on fire.

He snapped his fingers and a small flame appeared on the Englishmans coat. It soon spread to the rest of his body, causing him to run for his life and roll around on the ground.

"See!" Ollie said enthusiastically to the pony. "Just like old times right Azazel?" He said in the most cheerful voice he had ever used, one he never hoped he'd use again.

The pony just blinked before looking at the wall again.

"Oh my god you little son of a-!" Ollie yelled, punching the wall the pony was looking at, causing it to crumble and collapse in on itself.

And for one of the bricks to hit the pony.

"Oh my gosh!" Luna said, being the first to react she sprinted to the stallion and lifted his head, there was now a bump the size of an egg. "Why would you do that?" She asked Ollie, her voice so high pitched it could've shattered glass.

"I don't know, I got angry and I just overreacted." Ollie said, rubbing the back of his neck absent mindedly.

The pony blinked a few times and looked around. Until his eyes fixed on Ollie and became as large as dinner plates. "My lord?" He said, before he smiled widely. "MY LORD!" He leapt from Luna and clung to Ollie's leg. "I've been looking for you everywhere, you must return to the kingdom my king, it is chaos and.... Why am I an equine?"

Ollie looked at the pony before he said. "Slow down Azazel, one thing at a time. What are you doing here?"

The pony jumped up from Luna's grasp and cleared his throat, once he had done so he knelt. "I personally set out on a quest to find you my lord. The kingdom has come to ruin in your absence, and your minions run rampant without you there to guide them."

Ollie nodded. "It seems we have much to discuss Azazel, but first, why don't you change into a form more fitting?"

"I was hoping you would never ask." The pony said. Cocky smile gleaming in the dim light. He bent his forelegs and tensed. Soon dark energies swirled around him, causing the fires in the barrels to flicker and the dust to be blown to the edges of the walls. When the storm had finally settled, gone was the pony. In stead there was a red skinned demon with small horns, large black wings, and all of Ollie's armor excluding gauntlets and helmet.

"Luna, may I present to you. Azazel, my son!"
> The Overlord and the frighteningly large firearm
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The weather in Ponyville was odd today. Although it was almost always odd how it was sunny almost 320 days of the year. But today was special. It was raining slightly and that meant everyone was staying Inside. That included Azazel, Jack, and of course Ollie.

And that meant that nothing in the entire castle was safe.

"Get back here you piece of shit!" Jack shouted as he raced down one of the lavender corridors. In front of him was Ollie, clutching what looked to be a bar of soap. Jack himself had apparently abandoned his woolly coat and top hat and was in stead completely nude with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

"There's a reason you never drop the soap Jack!" Ollie shouted back, propelling himself into the air with a small gust of flame.

"As a previous convict I'm aware of that, but the reason was never because some armoured fuck would come and snatch it when you weren't looking!" Jack said, speeding up as they came closer and closer to a corner.

Ollie leapt around the corner and waited. When he heard Jack get closer he placed the soap just where he hoped Jack would run. Sure enough, as soon as Jack turned the corner he stepped on the small bar of soap and started gliding across the floor, like some professional skier with a gimped leg.

Ollie watched this, amused by his genius, Jack's suffering, and the hilarity of what he was watching. But soon the fun came to an end when Jack collided with a door, and went tumbling down the stairs.

Ollie ran towards the now broken door, cursing as he thought of how he would explain this to Twilight. He pushed the broken remains of the door away and looked down the stairs. At one of the walls, lying in a myriad of broken crates was Jack.

"Hey, dipshit, you aight?" Ollie yelled. Jack didn't move or answer, so Ollie moved closer to him, groaning all the while. When he got there he lightly slapped Jack in the face to try and wake him up, when that didn't help he put his finger on the others neck, and felt no pulse.

"Well then." Ollie said. "Hope you enjoy your ride back you son of a bitch." He said, pushing Jack's corpse so hard It fell away from the crates, revealing something.

Ollie saw a small gleam of something metal like, and started peeling away the broken wood. What was soon unearthed was a rather weird looking tool, but it did bear resemblance to those things the dwarves back home had called 'guns.' 

Ollie picked it up, it felt sort of heavy. Which was unusual for him, since his strength had gotten augmented by dark powers he'd been able to lift trees with ease, but this thing was actually kind of heavy.

"Property of Doomguy?" Ollie said to himself, reading out a label on the side of the gun. "Who calls themselves Doom?" He said, shaking his head.

He finally located a small slender piece of metal. But when he tried to flick it it wouldn't move. He looked everywhere on the gun until he found a small switch with the words 'Safety, on and off' written above it. He flicked the switch to off and heard the thing buzzing violently.

He went back up the stairs, and made a choice of kicking Jack's body before continuing up. When he got up he looked everywhere he could for a balcony. He found one that looked out over the outskirts of Ponyville, and he pointed the gun straight towards the mayors house.

He pressed the trigger, and felt a shock go through his body as some sort of projectile went flying towards the house. A few moments later there was a mighty explosion that shook the walls of the castle violently. When the smoke had lifted and the dust settled, Ollie got back onto his feet, and saw that not only was the mayors house gone, but a large chunk of Ponyville.

He looked down at the gun and smiled. "Where have you been all my life?"





It wasn't long until Twilight came running by looking for Ollie along with all her friends. The princess of friendship had by now learned that when anything went wrong it was either Ollie or Discord, and Discord wasn't in Ponyville at the time, so there was really only one left.

She opened up the door to Ollie's room.. Well it was more like Ollie's, Jacks, and Azazels room, but right now Jack wasn't present on account of being dead.

Ollie himself was sitting down toying with the gun. Twilight burst into the room along with her friends and a few guards. "Ollie, what in the actual name of Tartarus did you do?" She asked, steaming with anger.

"Oh, hey there twilight." Ollie said casually, looking up from the gun for a short while. "Well, I blew up a good chunk of the town."

Twilight stuttered for a few seconds before she nodded furiously. "Yes, yes you did, and I want to know two things. One, how did you do it? Two, would you prefer to be flogged or thrown off the castle walls?"

Ollie shook his head. "Neither really, you wouldn't believe what this thing can do." He said, almost ignoring twilight in favour of admiring the gun. "It's got adjustable firing, destruction levels, jump mode, all kinds of things."

Twilight shook her head before her mind picked up on two words from that sentence. "Jump mode?"

"Yup." Ollie said as he pointed the gun at the ceiling. In stead of a rocket, now it fired a small concentrated beam that seemed to cut cleanly through the stone. Soon a perfectly round piece of the ceiling fell down and smashed into pieces on the floor, and Ollie flicked yet another switch on the on the gun.

"Lemme show you." He said, running towards them. As soon as he was under the hole in the ceiling he jumped and fired at his feet. A small explosion caused him to go flying into the sky, soon not even Rainbow with her trained eyes could see him.

"There are certain things in this world that scares me to no end." Twilight whispered to herself. "But Ollie having that thing is going to be added to my list."
> The Overlord and the frighteningly large firearm part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack woke up were he'd expected to be after that tumble down the stairs. A black ceiling comprised entirely of rock, the floor comprised entirely of rock, his head felt like a rock. Yup, this was most definitely Hades.

When Jack had first been granted immortality it had been a shock when he'd appeared here. But now, after approximately spending one-thousand-four-hundred and seventy-nine hours, and a lunch break, here, he'd slowly gotten more and more used to it.

He leapt off the ground, and attempted to wipe off his trench coat. But this awarded him only with the slightly odd feeling of flicking his own nipples. Unfortunately you were teleported to Hades wearing what you were upon death, which in Jacks case meant fuck all, and a towel.

He sighed, before remembering he had arrived here once before without the blessing of a towel, that had been a weird night to be sure. He shuddered upon remembering the awful 1000TH birthday of Ollie, and decided that dilly dallying here wasn't gonna do him any good in the long run.

He moved in the direction he knew he was supposed to be heading. River Styx was the only way out of this horrible place. Thankfully they had a special deal for immortals such as himself, any boat free of charge. Otherwise Jack would need to have a 100 dollar bill permanently in his gob. But as he got closer to the edge of the river he noted that perhaps he'd have to wait a while.

"Hey, Charon." Jack yelled above the crowd of a thousand damned souls. "Yeah it's me, Jack, I need a ride back to my dead body, think you can help?"

The old ferryman looked up from his already full boat. "Sorry old pal, can't, it's been a busy day for me. About three hundred guys have arrived already, all at the same time no less. Can you believe it?" 

"How long will I have to wait?" Jack asked, hoping it wouldn't take too long.

"Try something like ten days. These fuckers are heavy, because they just need to bring their bloody shields along for the ride. And their king is a total bitch to deal with, he keeps kicking my customers off the boat!" Charon yelled back, just in due time as some guy with a massive beard kicked off another passenger, causing him to go sailing down the river. "But you can always ride with Jimbo!"

Jack cursed, ten days was too long for him to wait with getting revenge. But riding with Jimbo was perhaps even less of a pleasurable experience. "Is there nobody else free this evening?"

"Hah, you know how the other ferrymen are, their lunch breaks take millennia, lazy bastard leaving me with all the work!" 

Jack kicked a pebble in frustration, causing it to plop down into the water and immediately disintegrate. "Fine, I'll ride with......... Fucking Jimbo."

Charon nodded before he pushed the boat off the pier and started rowing as best he could. Pretty soon the boat was out of sight and Jack turned around to the place he desired to be the least at the moment.

Now, Jimbo was Hades son, not that he would ever admit to that. Hades had tried his best to raise Jimbo properly into the next Lord of the underworld. But the guy had done his best to defy his dad. His preferred taste of music was reggae, not death metal. He had extremely long dreadlocks as hair, despite being a skeleton. And to top it all off, ever since an extremely successful rapper had arrived in the underworld, dear Jimbo had taken a liking to smoking weed. This was the straw that broke the camels back for dear old hades, and he sent Jimbo, or as he had been known before; Lothal, Lord of the underworld, down to river Styx to serve as a ferryman, but nobody ever seemed to notice that the Jamaican skeleton was even there, perhaps because his boat was about a mile away from Charons.

Jack got there as quickly as he could, preferring the torture be over quickly rather than having to drag it out. Pretty soon the boat was in sight. It was a rather small steamboat with only one cabin, that being were the captain steered from. Speaking of the captain, Jack pretty soon caught sight of a multi colored beanie just peaking over the edge of the window.

Jack reconsidered for a moment whether or not he should just turn around and go back. He took a deep breath, making the decision in a split second. "Jimbo, come down here!"

The beanie disappeared for a short second. Before a skull peaked around the corner. The skull in question had the previously mentioned beanie on his head, as well as dreadlocks bound behind his head. In between his teeth was a shoddily rolled blunt. Soon the skull lit up in a bright smile, and was followed by the rest of the skeleton. The skeleton in question was wearing a multi colored t-shirt, as well as brown cargo shorts.

"Heeeeey, Jack, homeboy, how're you doing my nigga?" The skeleton asked, running down to Jack and raising his hand for a high five. Jack looked at the boney hand with a disgusted expression. "Come on don't leave me hanging nigga." 

"Don't call me that." Jack said with a tired voice. He slapped Jimbos hand away before stepping onto the boat. Jimbo followed him straight after. 

"Oh by the day dude, you're gonna have to share the space with another passenger, he got here just a few minutes ago." Jimbo said, pulling the lever to the steam engine, causing the entire boat to shake violently and spurt out disturbingly black smoke.

Jack looked to the edge of the boat, seeing that the passenger in question was a guy in a green combat suit, he was wearing a grey helmet with a black pane of glass serving as his only means of vision. On his back was a rather large shotgun with two barrels.

"Hey, I'm guessing you're going back to life as well eh?" Jack asked, tapping the guy on his back. He turned around and glared angrily up at the Englishman.

"Yes, respawning is a complete bitch." The guy said, before turning around and looking out over the dark gray water. Jack sat down next to him, looking for at least something to do, whether that was gonna be talking with, or annoying, this person didn't really matter to him.

"What killed you then?" Jack asked.

The guy sighed, the way his helmet worked making sure it became slightly distorted. "I was looking for a prototype of a new weapon me and my organisation have been working on for a good while. It's supposed to combine every single one of our current weapons into one easy to manage package." He said, patting the shotgun on his back as he did. "But we accidentally teleported it off world, we located it to a planet supposedly named Equis or something. I found the weapon, but it had fallen into the hands of some armoured bloke with red glowing eyes."

Jacks eyes widened, he was fairly certain he knew exactly who that armed bloke with red eyes was. "What happened then?"

The guy sighed. "I tried to ask him for it nicely, I even offered him payment. When that didn't work I threatened to crush him into smithereens."

"Lemme guess, he killed you?" Jack asked, raising a single humorous eyebrow.

"Well, the gun he had killed me, but yes. He did kill me." The guy said, bowing his head in shame. "To think that of all the beings of hell, I died to some fuck wearing a sauron cosplay......."

Jack bolted up from his sitting position and hurried towards the captains seat. "Jimbo, can this old pile of strung together garbage go any faster?" He asked. The skeleton pulled off his headphones before turning around. The blunt he had been smoking had been reduced to a small stump still sitting in his mouth, despite it not being lit.

"I wouldn't dare try it dude, last time it caused the engine to explode....." He said, shaking off his high to make sure he could talk properly. "But yeah, it definitely can."

"Right, that's all I needed to know." Jack said, he grabbed hold of the skeletons head and yanked quickly. This pulled the skull off its spine, whereafter Jack thre it onto the roof of the cabin, so it was lying right next to the large exhaust.

"Really nigga?" Jack heard the skull ask from the roof.

"I told you not to call me that!" Jack said, pulling the lever further down, causing the boat to lurch forward and spurt violently. The black smoke was now accompanied by a small amount of fire.

The guy walked up besides Jack, looking towards the exit that lead out of Hades. "What's your plan?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"The plan is as follows. We get back to Equestria, we beat the piss out of Ollie. We get your gun back, and then everybody lives happily ever after." Jack looked back at his newly found accomplice. "Comprende Señor?"

Jack swore he could see the guy smile behind the black glass. "Sounds like a deal, partner?" He asked, presenting his hand.

Jack shook his hand and smiled a devious smile. "Partner Indeed."