Apprehension
Chapter 1: Apprehension
"ALL ABOARD !!!!!"
Octavia marveled at the conductor's projection- she, sitting in the next-to-last car, could still hear his voice over the chattering mass of ponies on the train. The conductor waited about 20 seconds to make sure that everyone was on the train before closing the train's doors. As he readied the train for departure, Octavia let her mind wander.
Here she was. Leaving to start her new life in Ponyville. She turned away from the city, looking instead to the interior of the car and leaning her head on the cold glass window behind her.
"Maybe this isn't the best ide........nope. This is definitely what I need to do." Octavia's resolution immediately squashed the creeping fear in the back of her mind. She couldn't afford to let it convince her to stay. Octavia physically shook her head to clear her doubt, and attempted to cast her thoughts to the opportunities that await her in Ponyville. A fresh start. Free from memories of her parents, her orchestra, and.....him. Octavia shuddered as an image of the charismatic Concerto flashed into her brain. The image moved in as if to kiss her, and she mentally withdrew from it so emphatically that her physical head actually moved....right into the window. Octavia blushed and rubbed the back of her head, embarrassed. Luckily for her, everypony else was too engrossed in their business to notice.
Fresh. There's no sense in dwelling in the past when I've already decided to move on from it.
Fresh.
None of that needs to exist anymore.
Fresh.
*THONK THONK THONK*
Octavia jumped. Someone or something had just pounded on her window. She calmly turned around to see an old, light purple mare with red glasses waving at her as emphatically as her creaky bones would allow. Octavia smiled at her and nodded to let the mare know that she had been noticed, and leaned out into the aisle.
Octavia called out politely, "Excuse me, conductor? There is a mare outside who needs to board".
A couple of heads turned towards her and gave her quizzical glances, but her announcement otherwise did nothing to change the behavior of the ponies on the train.
She turned back to the old mare and gave her a sympathetic glance and an apathetic shrug. She mouthed "nothing I can do", and was in the process of turning back around when another THONK from behind her made her jump again.
Can't the old lady see that I'm not loud enough to do anything for her?
Octavia turned and smiled again at the purple mare.
What kind of mare am I to leave an old lady out there like that?
Octavia cast around for a way to alert the conductor to the mare's plight.
He looks nice.
She held up a hoof to the mare outside to let her know that she would be right back, and trotted over to another compartment.
"Umm, excuse me....."
The inhabitants of the compartment stopped their conversation and looked at her, curious to know why she had interrupted their conversation. Octavia directed her next statement to the large, dark stallion with a tuba cutie mark.
"Could you shout to the conductor that there is a mare outside that needs to board? My voice is too soft."
The stallion snorted and puffed up his chest.
"Of course, sweetcakes. Watch and learn."
Nice, but a pig.
He winked at her before taking a deep breath, leaning out of the compartment, and bellowing,
"CONDUCTOR MAN!!!!!! OPEN THE DOORS SO SOME LATE OLD FOGEY CAN GET ON!!!!!!"
Nope, not even nice.
He leaned back with a satisfied smirk as every head in the train turned toward him, including the conductor's. The doors opened, and the old mare got on, moving her way to Octavia's compartment. Octavia dug her hoof in her ear in an attempt to stop the ringing, murmured (at least to her) a quick "thank you" to the massive lunged beast next to her, and made her way back to her compartment.
The purple mare had just finished settling in when Octavia got back. The mare gave her a warm smile and welcomed her with "Thank you, young filly. I was afraid that I would miss the train and get home after my bedtime. That was a mighty sweet thing that you did."
Octavia was immediately ashamed that she had ever even considered giving up on getting the mare onto the train. She was immediately fond of the old gal, and comfortable sharing the space with her. She took a second to self-consciously adjust her bowtie, and replied, "I almost didn't get to him in time, but I'm glad that you're here now". The train started moving in reinforcement of her statement. The old mare smiled and turned to the window to watch the station retreat into the distance.
That's exactly the opposite of what I want to do.
Fresh. New start.
Octavia was once again brought out of her reflection by the old mare, this time by a gentle nudge.
"I never did get your name. I'm Chelsea. Chelsea Porcelain."
Octavia smiled at the old mare's sincerity and returned the nicety. "My name is Octavia Melody. It is a pleasure to meet you."
Chelsea shifted in her seat to more directly face Octavia, and said, "I hope that you'll humor an old lady and chat a while. We fogeys like to make the most of our encounters with younger ponies. It makes us feel both older and younger at the same time."
At least it'll take my mind off of the city. I could do with some distance. Besides, she seems nice.
"No, I don't mind at all. Where are you headed, Mrs. Porcelain?"
"Please, just call me Chelsea. It's another old fogey thing. I'm on my way back to Ponyville to get something that I forgot. I'm going to go visit my son in Manehattan. His family always takes me in for a few months out of the year. Sweet lad."
"And where are you headed, little miss?"
"I am moving to Ponyville from Canterlot."
Chelsea moved in closer
"Oh, are ya? You look like a city pony to me. Why would you move to the countryside?”
You could only imagine.
"I'm ready for a change.”
"Well, what is your profession?"
"I was lead cellist in the Canterlot Symphony. I have put out several albums of recorded music with them."
Chelsea's eyes lit up
"Oh, that's wonderful dear. Why would you want to abandon that? Do you not enjoy playing music any more?"
Old people can be so nosy sometimes.
"No. I love my music. But I can't live in the city any more."
The terse nature of Octavia's reply warned the old mare that she was unwilling to elaborate any further. The two sat in a semi-awkward silence for a little bit. Chelsea ended it by launching into a story.
"Well, I'm sorry if I offended you- sometimes I am too curious for my own good. I promise it's only because I genuinely care about every young 'un I meet. You're our future. I think that I understand at least a little of what you're going through. When I was 17 years old, my family suddenly packed up and left Baltimare. I was never given an explanation by my parents. My father just came home one day, announced that we were moving, and five days later all of my belongings were packed up and on a train to Celestia-knows-where."
Octavia's ears perked up, and she nodded to indicate that Chelsea had her undivided attention.
"Well, we stopped in Dodge Junction of all places, and my father led us to our new house. My life had been turned upside-down and inside-out in a matter of six days. In six days, I went from being a young city mare with a bright metropolitan future to being an out-of-place teenager with no friends and no idea how to live in a rural town. I lost contact with my coltfriend of two years (who, by the way, I had long ago decided that I would marry). I never did find out why the move was necessary, but I dealt with it. I didn't have any other choice. Somewhat luckily, I only had about a year and a half left of high school, and my family had the means to send me to college. Those two years were extremely difficult, though. I never made any friends in Dodge Junction, and spent most of my time in my room reflecting on the direction of my life. My teacup cutie mark, born of my passion for spending time with my peers, seemed to be wrong. College gave me a chance to reset my life and attitude. I was no longer alone. I even hoped that I would meet my special somepony whilst there, but nobody that I courted worked out. Upon graduation, I became a traveling house-cleaner, moving from city to city as opportunity after opportunity exhausted themselves. Despite my hospitable nature, I never enjoyed working. I just did it to put food on my table. At the age of 25, I had completely given up on marriage, and had resigned myself to a life of discontent and roaming. I thought if there was one thing that I could learn from being uprooted, it was that my life was never meant to be stable."
Chelsea paused her monologue as the caffeine trolley passed by. "I'll take two lemongrass teas, please."
She turned to Octavia. "You don't mind tea, do you?"
Octavia reached for her wallet. "I'll drink whatever. I've never really been partial to anything except champagne."
Chelsea chuckled and gently pushed Octavia's hoof down. "It's really no problem. You do realize that my cutie mark is tea cups, right? I won't hear of you paying for any while you're in my presence."
Octavia put her wallet away, surprised and encouraged by Chelsea's easy generosity. After they had both gotten their tea, Chelsea reclined and resumed her story.
"Thank you for humoring me and listening to my story. Every time I tell it, I learn something more about myself. And I've told it MANY times, so that's saying something. Now where was I? Ah yes. Melancholy. One day, I was walking back to my apartment from the house that I was responsible for, and this gorgeous blue stallion just plows me over. He was obviously in a hurry, but he immediately turned around to help me. In my dazed state, he was the kindest and most considerate pony in the world, despite what he had just done to me. He told me that his name was Waddle, and apologized about twelve times in five seconds. As he helped me to my feet and off of the sidewalk, three businessponies came running toward us. It turns out that Mister Waddle was a business con artist of sorts, and had gotten more than he had bargained for. When they saw me, though, they glared at him, swore a few times, vowed revenge, and trotted away. Mr. Waddle and I were married within a year. We realized that our love could give us what we had only ever dreamed of: stability. I know that it sounds naive, but we were young, and it worked. He gave up his shady life to become an entrepreneur, and I was able to settle down and stop working for a while. We decided to live in Ponyville, and made our lives. I found contentment and happiness in hosting our neighbors and friends and supporting my husband. My presence made their lives better, so my cutie mark was once again utilized, and I was happy. Until one day, Waddle's pipe business crashed. I was forced to become a waitress for a few years, because our savings couldn't support four ponies for very long. I hated it. It was unnatural, and not where I belonged. Eventually, though, Waddle restarted his business, and we had stability for the rest of our lives."
Chelsea paused and finished off her tea. Octavia, thinking that she was done, said, "Wow. I am glad that everything worked out for you, and I am so sorry that you had to go through what you did.”
Chelsea waved her off
"It's just the way life is, hun. By the looks of you, you know that plenty well. Let me give you one piece of advice: Never let your friendships falter. The most dangerous and oppressive part of my life was when I was in a new place and afraid to put myself out and make new friends. In the same vein, it was when I found and maintained close friendships that I was most happy with life, and those friendships maintained me through the hard times and the waitressing that came with them. No matter what happens to you, do not shut yourself off from other ponies".
Octavia was slightly taken aback by the intensity with which Chelsea made her last statement. She did her best to meet her stare, but was forced to look away blushing. There was too much in it. The two mares sat in silence for a little while, each lost in her individual thoughts. Octavia was encouraged by the old mare's story- fresh starts could happen. They had to.
My future is in my own hooves. I hope that when I'm her age, I have the ability to tell an even better story. Today is the first day of the most important chapter of my life.
Octavia and Chelsea were pulled out of their reveries by the slowing of the train as it came into the station. Octavia turned to Chelsea and said simply "Thank you for the tea and your story. I will keep your advice in mind."
Chelsea winked at her. "Thank you for humoring me and helping me learn a little bit more about myself. You are a delightful young filly, and you will lead a good life."
And with that, their ways parted.
Octavia left the train and stepped into the station. She took a deep breath.
Here I am. My new home. My future. Bring it on.
...and then she realized that she had no place to sleep.
Darnit Octavia. You plan ahead for EVERYTHING. Why did you not find a house before you left?
Because I packed up and left in 3 days?
Oh, right.