Entry No. 4,572
Dear Diary,
Being banished to the moon by my own sister is truly one of the worst things that ever happened to me. Sure I had been Nightmare Moon at the time, but now that I am myself again, I feel horrible. I feel horrible that I was even jealous of my sister. I know now that there are ponies who love the night as much as they love the day. Perhaps if I had known that would happen a thousand years ago, I wouldn't have become Nightmare Moon. It is thanks to to the Elements of Harmony that I am back to my old self again. If it weren't for them...well I shudder to think.
I know my sister says she forgives me, but I still feel horrible. I fear this ordeal will haunt me forever, which is a very long time for an alicorn princess like me. I am immortal after all. I am afraid to go out to visit the areas in my Kingdom, in fear that other ponies will cower before me. I have made myself their enemy. I am a tyrant in their eyes. However, now that I am Princess Luna once again, I will do everything in my power to make things right again. I owe it to my subjects after what I have done to them.
Now diary, the fear of my subjects' hatred is not what frightens me the most. What frightens me the most is that I can still feel Nightmare Moon inside of me. We are one and the same, and even though the Elements of Harmony did supposedly destroy her, I can still feel her in my being. It frightens me, for she is the side that holds my hatred and rage towards my beloved sister and my beloved subjects. I am afraid that this part of me, the part that is Nightmare Moon, will attempt to return. I am afraid that she will take my place once again and plunge my beautiful kingdom into eternal darkness.
Tomorrow I will try to talk to my sister about this. She is strong, kind, and very wise. I hope she can give me the comfort that I need. I hope she can ease my fears and give me the confidence I know I lack. If successful, then maybe, just maybe, I can go out and visit the towns and cities of Equestria. If I can do that, then maybe my subjects will fear me less and love me more. It is only love that I desire from my subjects, not fear. Nightmare Moon was the one who instilled fear into the hearts of my subjects. I only wish to instill happiness and love in their hearts, not fear and hatred.
I am sure you are wondering how I spent my time on the moon, dear diary. I was Nightmare Moon of course, so in the beginning, I was angry for a very long time. I would often howl in rage at the heavens. I would often run across the barren landscape known as the moon's surface and let my anger out through my speed. I would often sleep as well. There's not much you can really do on the moon, see. So honestly I found it helpful to sleep. Sleep was good for me, even if it meant missing out on the darkness of space.
Eventually I did get used to life on the moon. I could still go for walks, I could still fly, provided I didn't go too far away from the moon as well. So I spent my days, months, years rather, flying through the air and orbiting the moon. Of course since it was only the moon, I did get bored . My boredom eventually drove me mad, and I started plotting my escape. That part was not easy, however.
It required a lot of patience, first off. Especially since with my, or rather Nightmare Moon's extensive knowledge of dark magic, I had been banished for 1000 years, and I had to wait until the right time. It required a magical circle and a blood sacrifice. Naturally there was nopony else on the moon with me. I was all alone. I had to shed some of my own blood into the circle. Once I had done that, I had to invoke the power of the ancient gods who had created this world. Infused with my blood, the magic circle allowed me to escape and return to Equestria.
I can still see the scar on my leg. I had cut rather deep, using my own horn to do so. It is a reminder of what I have done. It is also a reminder of my time on the moon. I need to find something to cover it up, maybe an arm band or something. Nonetheless, I shall start my search tomorrow. Tomorrow...I have not used that word in such a long time. Living on the moon, you really don't have a sun to show you the time. It is a world of perpetual darkness on the moon. I am grateful now for my sister's sun. I can see it now, outside my window. My sister is lowering it upon the horizon.
Alas, dear diary, the time approaches for me to guard the night. ...Interesting, I have not done that for some time now. I imagine my sister has taken that job as well. I did see a hint of fatigue in her eyes earlier. She has been working too hard on something that should be controlled by two powerful Alicorns, not just one. I have a lot to make up. I must make amends for my past sins, and I do hope that in time, everypony will just see it as a bad memory. Like I do now. I must go, I can hear my sister calling for me, so farewell for now , my dear diary.
With Love,
Princess Luna.