This is the tale of a young college student being transported to Equestria for no reason at all. (Or is there? Nah probably not) Where he will at last find true happiness.
This is my first time writing outside of academics, so go easy on me, my goal here is simply to write a little story with a bit of romance and humor to it.
My phone's alarm squawked out as I rolled over, reaching for the snooze button. "Just a few more minutes..." I muttered drowsily fumbling about and knocking it off my nightstand. "Shit."
I swept my blankets off of myself, greeted by the chill of my rather cold room. Shuddering for a moment, I swung my feet onto the floor giving myself a moment to take a deep breath.
"Okay, Jim. Get off your ass and take a shower" I growled at myself.
Retrieving my phone from the floor I silenced it and stumbled out my bedroom door and around the corner to my small bathroom, glad that I had decided to leave the portable heater I had in there on.
Finishing my shower I put an old hand-me-down robe on and made for the coffee maker in my kitchen/dining room/living room. As I sipped my rather ass-tasting coffee, I looked out of a nearby window to the tattered yard, the tractor shed on the other side of it, and the large fenced field beyond it. I could see the sun beginning to crest the tops of the trees at the east end of the property.
Getting dressed and scarfing down a burnt piece of toast I filled my Darth Vader coffee mug up and headed out my front door encased in a thick sweater and sweatshirt, it was the middle of winter after all.
My scratched up but reliable truck started right up as it always did. The heater set to full blast, I coasted out of the dirt and gravel driveway and turned down the narrow county road pointed to town, waving to the dull-eyed cows standing in a nearby field.
The twisty road I had become so accustomed to went by in blur as I sipped my coffee and turned on the radio (don't do this at home kids), curious as to what the weather may be up to.
"...The next few days are forecast for more cold weather and a slight chance of snow around the weekend..." "Yeah right, we haven't got real snow here in years now" I mumbled as I sipped some more of the liquid ass I had been drinking.
The next ten minutes of driving were unremarkable, until I got to the bridge that crossed a rather large canyon with an equally large creek at the bottom. At this point I experienced a rather severe brain fart. Yes, I believe this ailment fits what happened well. It is at this time that I decided to set my coffee into my lap, instead of the perfectly suitable cup holders that come standard with the vehicle, my mind obviously occupied by other things besides driving or the cup of lava sitting precariously close to my crotch.
At about halfway across the bridge I foolishly shifted my left leg to keep it from falling asleep, upsetting the balance of my coffee and thus plunging its contents squarely on my boys. In a fright I squealed like a child and yanked the wheel hard to right. My truck collided with the steel railing, smashing a little memorial someone had set up for a person that had jumped off the bridge, sending bits of flowers and a cross into my windshield. Unluckily for me the truck's momentum wasn't finished at the railing as the front bumper buckled and it flipped off the edge of the bridge.
As the ground rushed up to meet me,I shut my eyes and gripped the steering wheel for all I was worth. I tried to scream but I could only whimper like a pansy as I prepared for a world of pain.
The pain and violence I expected never came. Cracking my eyes open, they were met with the orange-ish red sky of early morning, I could hear a wind howling and the gurgle of flowing water.
Had I been thrown from the wreck? I look pretty good for dead I thought to myself as I brought my seemingly untouched (with the exception of a little dirt) hands up to my face. My sleeves seemed to be okay as well, Good, this is my favorite sweatshirt. Sitting up though, I realized things were not quite as fine and dandy as previous thought. My surroundings had utterly changed. The grass seemed greener--even soft, the air a bit sweeter, an overall pleasant feel in the very environment. There was no sign of what may be left of my vehicle, not even a runaway hubcap like in the movies. For that matter, I wasn't in the bottom of a canyon with a large creek running through it.
Frantically whirling my head about I realized that I was now in an area of rolling hills, with a small brook flowing peacefully nearby. I couldn't help but let out a content sigh at the view before snapping back to the matter at hand: I was in new territory, with no landmarks or means of transportation and a set of rather frayed nerves. Taking a few deep breaths I got to my feet, might as well get to a vantage point. Spying a nearby tall hill, I made for it in all due haste eager to give myself a bearing on where the hell I was. Huffing and puffing by the time I finished the ascent, I put my hands over my head catching my breath and surveyed the landscape. I could see far and wide, to the north plains stretched out to the horizon, to the east a single large peak seemed to rise out of nowhere with no adjoining mountains and I thought I could make out a large structure of some sort on its steep slopes, but with the sun in my eyes I couldn't tell for sure. West looked to be just more rolling hills, but a small range of mountains ran east parallel to them and ended a short distance south of me. That is where I caught sight of what looked to be road.
Civilization! My heart jumped at the sign of people and help, Now to find someone who knows where I am I cheerfully thought as I trotted down the hill heading south towards the road.
It took me a few hours, as well as a couple of times getting lost like an idiot, before I reached the road. It was partially paved in cobblestone--Cobblestone? Where am I Britain?--and looked like it had never had a car on it, since all I could see were cart and hoof tracks, rather small hoof tracks too which made me a bit curious. Who uses horse carts anymore? Amish folks? I mused, pondering which direction to take. Not being able to decide I patted my pocket for a coin but found my phone instead--MY PHONE, HOW COULD I BE SO DAFT!
Clawing to get it out of my pocket I found it to be unharmed and functioning. "No Service" I read out loud from the spot where the reception is displayed. Groaning, I shut it off to conserve its battery and fished out a coin to flip.
Heads south, tails north.
Giving the coin a good flip I caught it and slapped it onto my wrist. Heads. Washington has spoken, south it is then.
Pulling my collar up a bit, I turned south, as beautiful as this place was it was still cold. I missed my coffee. ___________________________________________________________________________________
It was about midday when I stopped to take a breather, as even the cobblestone was it was rather uncomfortable to walk on for extended periods of time and my feet were not having it. Checking my phone I was again met with no service. Not like I was going to get much signal anyway; a few miles back the rolling hills had given way to relatively flat forest land that seemed rather lacking in wildlife. The refreshing smell of pine trees and a warm breeze drifted through. Feeling rested, I once again set out. I would have to find food soon though, the void that is my stomach was beginning to groan and protest the lack of sacrifices.
As the day dragged on I began wondering where all the people must be, since the road seemed a bit deserted for how large it was. Is it a holiday and I've just forgotten about it?
Fortunately for me the road I was following didn't climb over the mountain range to the south, instead skirting around to the end and down into a large valley with a river running down the middle of it. The forest was beginning to clear, and I could make out little columns of smoke just south of me. Quickening my pace brought me to the edge of the forest, looking out at an area of little hills and what looked to be a small town of some sort. Seemed pleasant enough, so I continued my trek towards it, coming across a fork in the road with a couple of direction signs.
"Ponyville" on the sign pointing south, southeast and "Las Pegasus" on the one pointing west. Are my eyes going bad? I rubbed my eyes and squinted really hard at the signs for about three minutes before I chalked it off to just being bad paint that's distorted the words. "Ponyville it is then" I chuckled to myself.
Looking up in the sky I noted the lack of any clouds, the sun seemed to be shining a bit warmer than I remember it being a few hours ago and the fields nearby looked to have recently had snow on them but been plowed away very thoroughly. Curious, all the surrounding area seemed like that, like someone had decided not to wait for it to melt and just had at it. I began hearing the sounds of animals finally, breaking the silence that permeated the land it seemed.
I was within about two hundred yards of the first town building that I realized how odd it looked. It was as though someone had taken a medieval house with a straw roof and fused it with some sort of art designer's hip idea for a color scheme and modern materials, most curious indeed.
Now where are the people?!
The sound of a large group of people talking made me perk up a bit as I peered about searching for the source of the murmur. Walking into the town I took note of the size of the various houses, they seemed a tad small to me--Must just be my eyes playing tricks on me again.
The town square looked to be just ahead, and I hurried towards it, the voices seemed to originate there. Rounding the corner of a building I was confronted with a busy plaza filled with multi-colored, little, talking... PONIES?!
The program Jim.exe has stopped working, how would you like to proceed?
I chose the instinctual path and was about to make a break for it back the way I came when I heard approaching footsteps behind me. Panicking I ran for a nearby alleyway and continued sprinting along it as a cascade of thoughts came down upon me:
There has to be a scientific explanation for this! What was in that coffee? Am I in a coma and just having a dream, a really really intense dream?
Focusing on thinking and not where I was running I ran smack into a large tree that seemed to be just sitting in the middle of town. Feeling something warm drip from my nose I reached up my hand and pulled back blood, Great, now I have to deal with this too, I had a tendency to bleed a lot when this happens. Wiping off what I could I scrambled up into the tree in a mad dash for cover.
Easy Jim, easy, its just ponies. Sentient. Ponies. Sure I'll calm down, its fine, not like this hasn't happened before I have spent years preparing myself mentally and physically for this day. You must unlearn what you have learned. STOP IT.
I shook myself trying to calm down. Focusing on just relaxing.
It must have worked because I woke up hours later, from a cold breeze. The sun was beyond the horizon and stars dotted the sky and a moon I don't remember being so big shone almost as bright as the sun. Shivering, I looked down from my perch at a small window in the side of the tree. What? Curious, I climbed down and peered in as ninja-like as possible. The interior of what I thought was just a tree was lit by candles and a roaring fireplace--how I didn't recognize this I will never know--and every wall had at least one book case carved into it with an array of other decorations and windows as well. Touching the glass I could feel how warm it was.
With stealth engaged I slid down the side of the tree and looked around for a door, looking in every window I could find to make sure it remained empty. I found the front door, with a sign that read "Library",
Perfect! Who sleeps in a library Homeless People? Can it.
Easing the door open part of me experienced a pang of guilt entering a building like a thief, then the other half reminded me that it was freaking freezing outside.
The inside of the Library was very comfortable, and I understood why homeless people like staying in them. After a brief moment of warming myself by the fire I took a better look at the interior of the place. Lots of books, but there also seemed to be quite a few personal effects for it being a library, maybe the librarian's stuff? Odd considering that most libraries I had been to had little to no personalization like what I was seeing.
There was a stairway across the room, and curiosity simply got the better of me as I tip-toed up them to the next floor. This one still had plenty of books, but it had a few more windows and a couple of complicated looking telescopes in them. A coffee table in the center of the room also had what looked like parchment paper and quills neatly organized on it. How the ponies were supposed to write with hooves I hadn't the slightest clue.
I tensed as I thought I heard something upstairs. Hardly breathing I crept to the next stairway and made my way up. The next floor had more books than the last with the same kind of shelves, the room itself had only one candle burning, a little fireplace with a chair and two sets of stairs, one going up to a window and the other ending on a landing. Against my better judgement, I walked up this last flight wanting to see if I could find the source of the noise.
That's about when I noticed the snoring, loud, with a little mutter at the end kind of snoring. I thought I could hear other breathing as well but it was hard to discern. The origin of the snoring came from what looked like a little cat bed, whose owner was a.... a chubby little purple and green dragon Well I'll be dipped in hot grease, now I've seen everything. There was a larger bed adjacent to the little beast, a normal bed, just a little too small for me I guessed. Its occupant I could not at first identify, since she was turned away on her right side. Still curious as ever, I leaned in closer. She stirred for a moment and rolled back towards me.
Is that a unicorn? Holy balls this place is magical.
In accordance with Murphy's Law, this was the time when she just happened to open her eyes. Which truth be told entranced the shit out of me; a deep beautiful purple (and rather large considering the size of her head) with a few strands of her strange (what I would call) purple mane and purple/pink highlights.
"Hi" I stuttered, a little loud.
She blinked once and then her rather cute face contorted into a look of terror as she screamed in surprise at the strange two-legged beast that had entered her house and was now towering over her bed gawking at her.
The sudden clamor took me aback and I lost my balance at the edge of the landing, tumbling down the stairs until I hit the hard wood floor.
I heard her call out, "Spike, wake up!" before I blacked out.
Ah not again. __________________________________________________________________
Ow.
Unlike the last time I blacked out, this time my head throbbed and I felt a good bit of back pain as well. Though the surface I was laying on no longer seemed to be wood, I guessed it was blankets or sheets of some kind and I could feel my legs hanging off the end of whatever I was on.
Opening my eyes I found myself in the small bed I had seen the unicorn in earlier, my legs a good couple of feet too long for the bed and partially covered in a rather soft blanket draped over my form. Reaching up to my damaged head I found it bandaged and sore like never before. Deciding to move it the minimum I let my eyes do the moving as I examined the room.
I was on the small landing on the third floor of the (tree?)house, the window to my right had sunlight from the mid-morning sun streaming in and I could see ponies going about their daily routines in the street below. It wasn't a dream then. Got any more excellent observations captain?
I groaned a bit as I slowly sat up, vision warping at the change in elevation. The small pet bed that had been occupied the previous night was empty, a crackling fire was present in the fireplace and the room was much warmer than mine back home in the morning. Taking it slow, I removed the covers and proceeded to get out of bed still wearing my clothes from the day before. I would need a shower in short order, the smell of dirty man is not a pleasant one.
Really, your first thought is about hygiene? You are in a land of talking ponies and your first thought is about not smelling bad? Well yeah, if you haven't got your health you haven't got anything.
Taking my time I wobbled my way down the stairs to the second floor, one hand steadying me against the wall and the other holding my aching head. I could hear a pair of voices downstairs, and I needed to know why I was still here with my wounds bandaged and not in a jail. Descending to the first floor I found the lavender pony who I had scared the daylights out of the night before speaking to the tiny dragon who appeared to be taking a letter for her.
So that's how they write, they have a little dragon do it. This doesn't make me think of what drugs I must be on at all.
Stopping part way down the stairs, I decided it would be best to announce my entrance this time.
"Uhm, good morning miss," I almost whispered (I've never been good around new people).
Unfortunately the mare still jumped in reaction to my voice intruding on her mid-sentence and turned about with her eyes wide. The (baby?) dragon also started at my appearance, dropping his quill with a look of surprise.
I of course being the overly apologetic person I am, raised my hands as I went down the last few steps quickly uttering an apology; "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break into your house and scare you so bad. I just needed a place to stay and--" the rest of my apology consisted of a bunch of stuttering and mumbles as I attempted to explain my reasons which stopped when the purple pony held up her hoof Like a hand? for me to stop and motioned for me to sit on the small sofa in the center of the room.
The piece of furniture creaked a bit as I sat down in it looking like Lurch. The pony still eyeing me, she nodded at the dragon whose name I was pretty sure was Spike and he produced a new piece of parchment. Sitting down in front of me the mare looked up at me with a studious look and took a breath to speak.
"Who are you?", she spoke in a soft but serious tone looking me square in the eye.
For a pony, she seems to have a pretty nice voice.
I almost mumbled, "Jim, Jim Tailor," averting my eyes from her gaze, such forthrightness a bit unsettling for me.
"What are you?" she replied, still looking straight at me.
"I'm a human", at the question I could not help but look back up at her with a look of confusion. I followed up with; "Do you not know what a human is?"
Granted if she didn't know what I was it wouldn't be much of a surprise, since I had never heard of a freaking civilization of intelligent ponies where I came from.
"No. I have at least several books on every subject known in Equestria--" Equestria eh? That's a new one"--and not one of them makes any mention of anything like you," she said looking down with a sigh, seemingly upset at this fact. I didn't much care for being referred to as thing but the same could be said of her.
Wanting to clear up any more questions before she asked them, I started again, "Well, I am nineteen years of age, I was born in California, and live alone while I attend a few college classes--" the mare's ears perked up at the bit of info and blurted out: "You're a student too! Oh what are you studying in? What university?" The pony's sudden rise of mood took me by surprise as her face lit up with a big smile and overall cheerfulness.
I couldn't help but smile back, my face warming from a blush that I couldn't really help. I answered concisely, with the little purple mare nodding happily as she listened. When I finished she seemed to remember who she was talking to and her face turned a bit red turning away for a moment. "I am studying under our ruler, Princess Celestia--That's odd, I thought if someone was a ruler your title was king or queen. Oh screw logic, you're in a land of ponies for pete's sake--and she has me studying the magic of friendship."
That last bit made me chuckle, and the enthusiastic pony turned to me with a stern look of slight offense, "Friendship is the most powerful magic in Equestria, this is no laughing matter Jim," she stated examining me with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.
I stifled my little outburst and looked her square in the eye, "Magic? And of friendship for that matter? I mean, we have friendship where I come from, but nobody calls it magic except for little kids and some books that I've read," the concept was almost more foreign to me than this land and its denizens.
"No magic?!" The pony sprung to her feet in a huff, "How can that be? How do you survive? How can society function without the magic of friendship?" A little hyper much? I held up my hands to signal her to calm down, she sat down again, but retained her inquisitive look. "My society is a capitalist society where we all compete for jobs and money, friends are usually limited to family and maybe a few people you meet at school--at least that's what mine have been like, I prefer my computer and books to people myself though." She took interest at the mention of books, and actually nodded knowingly, "I know how you feel," she replied,"but even I have friends that help me through the day, like Spike!" She gestured back over where the small dragon was now sleeping on the floor, using the large parchment like a pillow still clutching quill in hand. The pony let out a sigh, shaking her head with a smile, "Well he is just a baby dragon after all," I knew it!
"Miss?" I inquired as my hostess turned back to me.
"Yes Jim?" she answered in a charmingly sweet voice Wait what? "You seem to have me at something of a disadvantage, you know my name but I have no idea what yours is," I continued. Her eyes widened a bit, "Oh how rude of me, sorry, my name is Twilight Sparkle," she extended her hoof for a hand(or hoof)shake. Hesitating for a moment I reached out and we both seemed to experience a slight shudder as we both felt an appendage that neither of us was used to.
After a short (a smidge awkward as well) moment I glanced about at the shelves of books "You think I could learn a thing or two about your home? I'll tell you more about mine," I offered. Twilight smiled and nodded. The following hours were spent exchanging stories of our pasts, (though I didn't disclose all of my secrets to somebody--somepony, got to remember that--that I had just met) and me reading through her extensive collection of literature. Twilight had to be the most interesting pony I had ever met, nothing too surprising there since I had never seen one until that day. She went on about her studies of magic, showing me how she could levitate objects Like a friggin' Jedi! and even teleport No Tardis required surprisingly on a whim and how she had a group of friends that she couldn't wait for me to meet.
Before we realized how much time had past, the sun began to set, darkening the windows and making me squint to read the little text of a book about how the earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi actually make the seasons change by moving clouds, plowing fields and waking the animals from hibernation. The land would not function without the ponies. They truly are at harmony with their surroundings, while we humans were always changing ours to suit us. Deciding I had done enough reading I dog-eared the page I was on and closed the book with a yawn. Twilight glanced over as I set the book down, doing a double-take when she saw the way I marked my place. In a lavender flash she was right in front of me with the book open and smoothing out the dog-ear, replacing it with a small bookmark. She turned on me with a frantic look on her face her voice full of reproach, "Are you crazy?! Some of these books are centuries old! You might have torn it or caused a permanent crease or--" her little rant continued as I sat there dumbfounded at the sudden change in Twilight's demeanor. After a moment she stopped and just looked at me awaiting some sort of response, I fumbled over my words "S-sorry Twilight I just have a habit of saving my spot in a book like that," she went to interject but I placed a single finger over her lips stopping her, "but I do understand why you are upset, it was wrong of me to be so careless with your things I would react the same way if you were to do that to one of my Batman comic books." I smiled, nodding my head as I finished.
Twilight nodded back, but then asked "What's Batman?" I shook my head and said, "I'll tell you some other time, but right now I need to take a shower or something, I stink," grimacing at my own stench. Twilight also gave a sniff before covering her muzzle with a hoof, "Its just upstairs on the third floor".
"Thanks Twilight," and with that I stood, popping my knees, and made my way upstairs. The shower was pleasant enough, but not spectacular seeing as I was about two sizes too big for it, forcing me to take a bath/shower almost falling out a few times.
Upon exiting the shower I re-bandaged my head as best as I could. There were some large blankets laid out for me and my dirty clothes gone. Time to look like an ancient Roman I guess, that's about how I looked after securing one of the blankets about my person, The slight draftiness is less than desirable, I noted as I walked downstairs. Twilight was on the second floor finishing a letter, and Spike was on his way upstairs.
"Goodnight Spike," I said as he passed me on the stairs. He appeared to be still a little leery of me but nodded making for his bed. I waited for Twilight to finish writing to speak to her, "What's the letter for if I may ask?" She turned to me with a pleasant face, "Oh its just a letter to the Princess about you." When I responded with a frown she was quick to add, "Don't worry, you're not in trouble, she just might stop by at some time in the next few days to see you" she assured me with a smile.
Her smile and tone helped but my uneasiness persisted, I would be meeting the leader of the country and Twilight's teacher. I wasn't one for first impressions, especially if the person is one of repute. Sensing my continued discomfort, Twilight came over to me and place a hoof on my hand, "You'll be fine," again with that adorable smile accompanying it. Simply nodding in response, I gave a big yawn, I had been walking most of the day and my system demanded rest.
"Well, goodnight Twilight." I smiled and gave her head a gentle pat, walking past her towards the first floor stairs, my heart set on the small sofa from earlier, blanket in tow.
"Wait, where are you going?" Twilight called after me as I started down the steps. "I'll stay on the sofa tonight, I think," I called back over my shoulder. "You sure? It seemed a bit too small for you earlier..." she advised, a bit of uncertainty in her voice. "I'll be fine, I've slept on worse Miss Sparkle, night." She called out a faint "Goodnight" and I laid down on the minuscule sofa in immediate discomfort.
Shifting about for a few minutes to no avail, I decided to lay out the blanket near the fireplace and scavenge the sofa's cushions for pillows. Laying down on my makeshift bed I looked out a large window on the ceiling at the moon. Is it just me or do the craters on the moon look like a unicorn head? I made a note to ask Twilight about it in the morning and drifted into peaceful slumber.
What at first seemed like it was going to be a restful night of sleep quickly turned sour. My dreams were filled with feelings of dread, anguish, regret. My family and friends' voices calling out to me across an abyss beyond comprehension which seemed to swallow me up and corrupt my very being with a horrible cold.
As I accepted my fate, a dark blue flash of light broke through the darkness scouring it from sight leaving me sitting alone in a room of unknown size with a single light source on me. Wearily I looked about, spotting a dark form approaching. Silent as the grave I held my breath awaiting what horror my mind had cooked up to torment itself.
"Greetings human." A regal and soothing voice said as the form came into the light, revealing a large unicorn, no pegasus, wait... this one was both. The new creature before me rendered me speechless, seeing as all I could utter was, "You're a, um... a duhh... hrm?"
Still walking towards me the being continued speaking, "I am Luna, Princess of the Night, and it is my duty to watch over the dreams of my subjects," she cocked her head at me inspecting me, "no matter who they are."
My dream just said that this is a dream. Is that considered breaking the fourth wall?
"For many years I have walked through the dreams of ponies, watching as they battle their own demons and emotions, but never have I seen such darkness as in yours," she stated, looking at me in a therapeutic sort of way, "is where you are from really so terrible?" I sighed, looking up at her dumbfound, "Is everything here really so perfect that you can't recognize regret? Rage? Fear?" "Such emotions do exist here human, but it seems they exist in you far stronger than any pony." Luna paused, seeming to be deep in thought, "Perhaps you should venture forth and see for yourself Jim." She knows my name? Well she is in my mind
With that said, Princess Luna's form shrank back into the beyond and the ground dropped out from beneath me.
I awoke in a cold sweat and out of breath. Outside I could see the the bright colors of a new dawn on the horizon, with the earliest of the day's birds already chirping. Steadying my uneasy breathing I pulled my blanket robe close and decided to get up, trying to go back to sleep after a nightmare was always a fruitless endeavor for me. After a few minutes of looking I found a cupboard with a candlestick, lighting it with the embers in the fireplace I brought it up to the nearest bookshelf. I sought out the L section, feverishly searching for a tome about my dream-time visitor. L... Lucky Pony, no, no, Law and Order in Equestria, no, no, who organized these books in such a way?... aha! I pulled a thick volume from one row, blowing off some dust and turning it over to see the title: Tales of Princess Luna.
I carried the book to the couch, setting it and the candle down on a reading table. Flipping the rather heavy cover open, I started reading. Skimming over some of the longer winded and dry stuff, I was able to discern that Luna was Celestia's younger sister who she ruled Equestria with and they were responsible for discovering the Elements of Harmony. Whatever those are. As she stated Princess of the Night, et cetera et cetera--oooh! Looks like someone got greedy!--who at one point challenged Celestia in an attempt to create everlasting night, becoming Nightmare Moon. Clever name might I add. Using the Elements Celestia banished her to... the moon? I gazed out at the moon as it descended opposite the sun, I hadn't been imagining that face on the moon then. Where she remained for a thousand years before escaping again, luckily the Elements of Harmony were reunited by a group of young mares led by TWILIGHT SPARKLE!? I stopped reading and turned to look up the stairwell, I knew a pony with Jedi mind powers and was the savior of Equestria!
I picked the right library to break into.
Reading the little remainder of the book I found a piece of paper tucked into the back. Unfolding it, I found a picture of Twilight and her band of friends. At this point trying to stifle my involuntary "Awwww," was pointless, there was Twilight in the middle, with a calm pink maned yellow pegasus laying down in front of her, an orange perhaps tan colored earth pony with blonde hair and a stetson to her left (I could almost hear the southern drawl), another unicorn with white fur and an extravagant (not quite purple or blue) mane, behind her was a exuberant looking pink earth pony whose hair I could swear was cotton candy, and next to her was a cyan pegasus with a confident expression and posture as well as a rainbow colored mane.
They seem like a pleasant bunch to meet, I thought as I tucked the photo back in its place and closed the book.
"Sleep well?" a familiar voice called from the stairs, making me jump despite its soft tone. Composing myself I turned to see Twilight blush a little as she walked down the steps to join me. I shifted over offering her a seat on the couch. She sat, "Sorry for scaring you, I didn't expect you to be up yet," she smiled, "you usually get up this early?" she asked having noted my slightly grizzled expression.
I rubbed my eyes, "To be honest I only get up this early on school days, I just didn't sleep too good last night is all," I replied stretching my arms and quickly recoiling them to avoid Twilight seeing my shameful armpit hair. She bore a worried look, "I have a feeling that it was more than sleeping down here that's got you out of sorts Jim."
Man she is perceptive, or I really just look like crap.
Not really knowing how to begin I gestured to the Tales of Princess Luna copy still sitting on the table. She raised an eyebrow at me, and retrieved the book with her magic reading the title aloud; "Tales of Princess Luna? Why were you curious about her...?", she trailed off for a moment and set the book down. "Were you visited by her in your dreams?" she queried. I nodded back, still sincerely perturbed by it myself, but I didn't want her to know that, "Yeah, she just stopped in to say 'hi' it seemed," I bluffed in a carefree tone,"probably just wondering what I was or something."
Twilight eyed me suspiciously, "If you say so, but Luna has a tendency to only visit those in great need." She trotted over to the "L" section with the book and slid it back into place. "I think today you should go out and explore Ponyville, and meet my friends," Twilight proposed in a more cheerful voice.
Seeing my apparent skepticism, she rolled her eyes, "Don't worry, ponyfolk aren't as hostile to new people as they are where you're from," when my doubt still lingered she was quick to add, "I'll be with you the whole time showing you the sights."
With this I perked right up, and standing had to make fast grab for my dignity blanket tragedy averted. Experiencing such a close call, my face went bright red and I almost frantically asked, "Any chance I can wear my normal clothes when we go out?"
"Hmm?" Twilight (fortunately for me) had not witnessed the near catastrophe and had been stoking the fire. She turned around with smile, waiting for me to speak. I repeated the question, "Oh that's right, I had Spike wash them last night, let me go get them." and with that she hurried upstairs. I followed after her, not wanting to get dressed in a room with a front door and lots of windows. Twilight gave me the third floor to myself, forcing a grumpy Spike to get started on his morning chores. I thanked him for taking care of my laundry and got a half-hearted snarl in response. I know that feel bro.
Glad to be back in clothes again, I headed downstairs towards the smell of something cooking.
Breakfast was brief but well-made, consisting of eggs and haycakes, both of which I found odd but filling, Spike knew how to cook pretty well for someone his age. Our bellies full, we prepared to leave. I snugged down my sweatshirt as Twilight grabbed a saddlebag emblazoned with her... cutie mark? I think that's what she called it.
"Oh now where did I put that scarf?" she asked herself, opening a few drawers and rearranging the couch pillows. I spotted it atop a shelf near the door, and plucked it off. "Here, Twilight I found it," I said waving it about to catch her attention. She smiled and trotted over to me, holding out a hoof. "Allow me," I offered wrapping it carefully about her neck.
That's when I really took note of how very different Twilight looked from the ponies back home. Her hooves looked far cleaner and the same color as the rest of her fur, which seemed to lack any imperfections. Her face was not that of a 'normal' pony either, she had an almost human-like face if that made any sense and her eyes still got me even then.
I had finished putting her scarf on, and was just standing there oblivious that I was staring at Twilight. I couldn't tell if she was staring back but she was the first to break the silence, clearing her throat and shifting her eyes to the floor. I blinked a couple of times returning from dreamland, and we silently left the residence.
The air was brisk and refreshing as I walked alongside Twilight with my hands stuffed in my pockets heading down the street. Smoke rose from the chimneys of the neighborhood and the relatively quiet bustle of the town filled the background. A few ponies pasted us, at first taken aback at the odd creature that had appeared in their quiet town, but seemed to calm somewhat when they saw Twilight with me.
Twilight must have a bit of a reputation if the people are calmer when they see an alien with her and don't start a riot.
We eventually came to a house that I could swear was made of desserts, with a sign reading: "Sugarcube Corner". I followed her in, reflexively ducking underneath the short door, but luckily the inside was more accommodating for my size. Behind the counter festooned with treats of all shapes and sizes stood a lanky orange pony in a cook's hat and apron. We approached the counter. "Morning Mr. Cake," Twilight greeted pleasantly, "is my order of muffins ready?"
Mr. Cake gaped at me for a few seconds longer and snapped out of it, "Oh oh oh, right! Sorry Twilight I'll go get them from the back," and he disappeared through a set of doors to the kitchen.
"I'm guessing that won't be the last time I am regarded like that?" I awkwardly asked, a little flustered at being stared at with such shock. "Well how did you react when you first saw a pony from Ponyville?" She shot back, not looking back at me. Surprised at her somewhat harsh tone, I stuck my hands in my pockets again and rocked back on my heels--"SOMEPONY NEW!"
A pink blur shot out of the blue, landing square in my chest and sending me sprawling on my back. "Who are you? What are you? Where you from? >gasp!< Do you know Twilight? How old are you?" followed by a bunch of other questions from the ordinary to the utterly random while the pink pony I recognized from the photo bounced up and down on my chest making squee sounds the entire time while I tried to respond. "MY >squee< NAME >squee< IS >squee< Jim! >squee<"
That's about as much as I could utter before Twilight cut in, lifting my assailant off of me with her magic, still chattering away. "Pinkie Pie! Why do you always have to assault anypony new?" Twilight berated.
Pinkie stopped her gabbering for a moment, "Sorry Twilight, but you know I can't help myself!" and Twilight's magic aura dropped her back on the floor. After the proper introductions were done, Pinkie invited me to take a seat at a nearby table before challenging me to a muffin eating contest--that she easily won since she seemed to be able to defy the laws of physics at will. We were busy enjoying ourselves when we heard a cry from Twilight, "YOU TWO JUST ATE MY ENTIRE ORDER OF MUFFINS! THOSE WHERE MEANT TO LAST A WHOLE WEEK!"
I looked down at the empty box, "Oopsie, sorry Twilight, she issued a challenge--it was a matter of HONOR!" I declared, chest held out in a mock heroic manner. Pinkie chortled, "I like this guy, finally somepony who appreciates a food contest!"
Twilight let out a annoyed groan before ordering another batch. Fortunately Mr. Cake took pity on her and didn't charge her for the replacements. "Come on Jim, hopefully we can do the rest of today's errands without any more interruptions" as she scribbled out part of the list, and moved to leave. "Ah come on Twilight, lighten up! Its not like you have to buy more," I chuckled stumbling to my feet and catching up with my peeved guide. I waved bye to Pinkie, who returned it tenfold in a joyful flail of her front leg and a grin that was almost disproportional to her face.
Twilight was put out with me and didn't respond to my excuse, just taking out her list, "Now we need to stop by Sweet Apple Acres," she fixed a glare on me, "and no eating the item we came for mister."
Sweet Apple Acres laid on the outskirts of Ponyville, and stretched for what looked like miles of picturesque bountiful apple trees, easily putting my old farm at home to shame. "Wow, man the land must be fertile for that many trees," I remarked, admiring the expanse. Twilight glanced at the orchard, but said nothing, the barnyard was just ahead.
"Heya Twilight!" Dat accent The Stetson wearing pony I recognized immediately as she tromped up with a warm expression. "And who's this?" she asked, her mood surprisingly going on undaunted. Happy with another friendly face, I held out a hand for a hoofshake, "Jim, good to meet you Miss...?" "Its Applejack, and this here's Big Mac," she pointed to a large red stallion who walked up with a cart with a few buckets and a barrel who responded with a simple "Eyup." "That's Applebloom," a simply adorable little filly ran up with a red mane and large pink bow wearing a grin Pinkie would be proud of with a glint in her eye I couldn't quite place until she spoke in an accent just as thick as Applejack's: "You don't have a cutie mark either! You wouldn't want to join the Cutie Mark Crusaders would you? Would you would you would you?" she chittered racing around my legs in great excitement. I glanced down at my side, stifling a laugh, "Ahh sure, why not." With this response the filly sprang up in great joy before running off towards town, "I can't wait to tell Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!"
Turning back to everpony else it has begun! I saw Applejack shake her head with a knowing smile, "Oh now you gone dun it, expect to be wrangled into more than a few shenanigans," "Eyup" Big Mac agreed. "Getting back on track," Twilight huffed "since our last stop took up precious time," she again gave me a look, "Is the cider I asked you about ready yet?" "Oh, right, course it is Twilight. Macintosh's got it right here," Applejack replied pointing at the barrel in the cart. Before Mac could volunteer to carry it for us, I grabbed it and tucked it under my right arm. "Nice arm there Jimbo, now if y'all got whatchya came for we got more work to do, maybe we can get to know ya better later?", Applejack suggested turning with Big Mac towards the apple orchards. We said our goodbyes and sauntered back to town.
Twilight's mood seemed to have lightened since she had me to carry the be a man, don't show the discomfort of carrying this heavy damn barrel. "Next on the list is some suitable clothing for you, since you seem the type to wear them out soon," she declared circling one item on her list and tucking it in her saddlebag again. We approached a very ornate looking house that looked almost like a covered carousel in design, in a word--fabulous. Ringing the doorbell, a lavish almost British accent called, "Be right there!" in a sing-songy way.
"Oh hello Twilight!" a white unicorn with a perfect mane addressed her friend before turning to me, "And who is this tall fellow? A visiting dignitary?" She examined my clothes, letting out a gasp of horror, "Oh darling dearest I cannot allow you to parade around town in such drab attire!" dragging me into the boutique, my head hitting the sign outside. The yellow pegasus with the pink mane was standing in the front room with a half finished dress on, she tensed up and cowered back as I was nearly flung into the room. Within seconds the fashionista was upon me with a tape measure and fashionable glasses sitting on her nose.
"At least take a man out to dinner before you have your way with him," I joked whilst my personal space was blatantly intruded upon. The designer froze in mid-measurement, biting her lip in embarrassment, "Sorry dear, but the need to rectify such a crime against fabulousity overtook me." "Well at least Rarity got started on her measurements." Twilight giggled, setting her bag down and taking a seat near the yellow and pink mare standing quietly in the corner, "Hey Fluttershy, how's your day been?"
The mare mumbled and whispered at the same time, "I'm okay Twilight..." avoiding all possible eye contact with me. With as much composure as I could I introduced myself to Rarity, she was most civil but distracted as she put all her energy towards measurements and clothing materials. While she gathered materials for my opinion I attempted to make small talk with Fluttershy, I got a few words out of her but not much of a real conversation, she made me look like an extrovert when it came to new people.
It took me a while to pick a color scheme, which Rarity simply insisted upon and Twilight became impatient after the fourth set, so I made a quick decision. Saying goodbye to Fluttershy and Rarity--and that demonspawn cat of hers--we headed for Twilight's house as the sun dropped behind the mountains. At this time I actually got a good look at that structure I had seen upon the slopes of the solitary mountain to the north. It was a giant castle, with a number of surrounding structures on large supports that propped it against the steep slopes it rested on. "What's that place?" I asked Twilight pointing across the great distance to the mountain. "Canterlot? Its the capital of Equestria, where Princess Celestia and Luna live. Its also where me and Spike are from." She seemed to have some good memories there judging from how her demeanor improved. At about this time we arrived at the library, I opened the door for her, "Thanks Jim."
"Spike? Spike!" Twilight shouted, setting her scarf down on a pedestal. When the little dragon didn't waddle his way down the stairs she sighed, "He's probably already asleep." Shifting the cider barrel in my grip, "This thing got a place?" I asked. "Right," Twilight answered emptying her saddlebag onto the reading table in an orderly manner, "it goes in the kitchen pantry," she pointed to a nearby door. I maneuvered my way in, careful not to rearrange the kitchen, finding a suitable spot on a big shelf in the pantry alongside bags of oats. Back in the living room Twilight had started a fire and was busy writing what looked like a report to the Princess She reports everything doesn't she?, and I decided to find a book to read. After a moment of perusal I found a suitable title, "Canterlot Social Life".
Sitting down on the couch, I cracked open the book. Twilight finished her report and set it aside, sitting next to me on the couch, "Canterlot Social Life? What made you grab that one?" she asked with a weird sound to her voice--like the mention of 'social life' caught her off guard. "What do you mean? You don't seem like much of a socialite Twilight--" She found fault at this, quickly stammering: "W-what's that s-supposed to mean Jim?" before quickly adding with a smirk, "Not like you're one to talk." At this remark I cried "En Garde!" playfully poking her in the exposed side to which she reacted with a fan girl-like squeal and wriggled away. "Aha!" I did not relent so easily, Continuously tickling her sides until she was sputtering for air and screeching "Enough Jim, enough for pony's sake!" as she escaped my grasp a deep lavender blush on her face.
She yawned, seeing the time on the clock, "Alright, that's enough rough-housing for one night Jim." and she walked up the stairs. I placed the book back where I got it from, and followed Twilight up to the third floor to retrieve my blankets. I found them near the stairs and said goodnight. "Hold on a minute Jim, you don't have to stay on the floor downstairs," Twilight shouted down to me. Interested in what she meant I walked up the stairs to her landing to find a much larger bed in place of her old one. Skepticism and nervousness descended on me, "Uh Twi... why is the bed bigger?"
She looked it over, a nervous smile on her features, "Yeah there was a mix-up with the bed store and they replaced my bed with a larger mattress instead of delivering a large bed for you. They left a note," she pawed the ground with her right hoof. "Okay," I breathed, getting rid of the awkward silence (with the exception of Spike's snoring), "this will work for tonight I think." I sat on the edge of the bed taking off my shoes and undoing my belt, hands shaking the entire time, I glanced over at Twilight on the opposite side. She was neatly folding the covers over and slipping into them, politely looking away as to give me some privacy. I stripped out of my pants and set them off the side, keeping my shirt on (a mixture of nervousness around a female--species aside--and having never been the most athletic of men). I slid into bed as slick as possible calm steady breaths, steady, that's the key.
Twilight blew out the candle at the bed stand and pulled up the covers while I laid there as frigid as a frozen sardine. Just don't move. At. All. Don't invade her space and the night will go smoothly.
Of course, Twilight had other plans. I felt a warm leg nudge my side, "What are you doing Twi?" I whispered, startled at the contact. "Shhh, I just want someone to snuggle with," that's what I always said and it never worked and with that she pulled herself up to my right side and tucked her head under my arm. I moved it into position to support her head and sighed, enjoying the closeness. I listened to her breathing as sleep took her, and I steadily followed suit.
I walked through the field near my house as birds flitted to and fro and the wind swept the leaves across the ground. The air was cool, and I could smell the moisture in it from the recent rain shower... as well as something else. Sniffing a bit more I recognized it, smoke?Where? Looking back towards my house I saw a pillar of smoke rising, and the glow of a roaring fire. Cold dread filled my gut as I ran for my house, tripping in a gopher hole and face-planting in a mass of star-thistle thorns. Ignoring the burning pain I sprinted and flung myself over the fence and into my yard. My cabin was in flames, a nearby tree was as well with branches falling down onto the roof. My stuff! I rushed for the front door, avoiding the doorhandle, instead trying to kick it open. That's when I heard the voices of my family screaming in horrible horrible pain, with their faces on just the other side melting away with bloody burning hands trying to claw out of the glass panes of the door.
I was petrified, unable to do anything as the house collapsed crushing us all beneath its charred mass.
I woke with only half a blanket on me and a concerned Twilight sitting to my right, "What's wrong Jim? I woke up to the sound of you screaming and thrashing about, what in the name of Celestia is wrong with you?" she spoke in a shaken tone as she placed a hoof on my shoulder. Wiping a bit of sweat off my brow I shivered, which must have given Twilight the wrong message since she removed her hoof. I turned to her, "Sorry Twilight, the concern is appreciated... I just got some things that I'd rather not talk about right now. She still looked upset but bowed her head in understanding, as I turned over to the left taking a bit of covers with me, and she kept her distance, not needing a spell to know that I needed my space.
The rest of the night was spent tossing and turning as gently as possible as to not wake Twilight. When I saw the dawn approaching I silently got out of bed and got dressed. I rekindled the fire and pawed through one of the bookshelves looking for a calming book. I read for a couple of hours before grabbing my sweater for a early morning stroll.
The only ponies present on the streets were salesponies setting up their stands in the marketplace. Big Mac was among them and gave a wave, which I returned with a weak smile. My feet carried me to the edge of town in little time and around the border of a dark forest of sickly trees. Walks never seemed to help me really when I was out of sorts, it usually just gave me more time to fume or wallow in self-pity.
And become oblivious too.
I hadn't noticed the odd sensation of the hair on the back of my neck raising, and a low growl emanating from the stand of trees I was passing. That is, until I heard, "Hey, look out!" from somewhere nearby and a dark form crashed into me sending me sprawling to the ground.
It smells like pine trees and rotting meat... how odd.
My attacker had glowing green eyes and looked like a wolf made out of timber--A Timber Wolf...? Oh I see what you did there VERY clever--and it was trying its best to bite my throat out. I had an arm pinned up against its throat, and that seemed to be keeping it back for now though to be honest I was still new to the whole being mauled by a wild animal thing. Just as my arm was going to give, a cyan colored pony with a rainbow mane kicked the creature square in the face and it flew clear off me with the impact. "Give me your hoof!" my savior shouted, holding her foreleg out.
I grabbed on and she proceeded to take to the air, pulling me along with her.
Yep, I am not going to be able to hold on.
I was fairly strong, but you try hanging onto the landing gear of an airplane going at full speed and let me know how it goes. We had cleared the ground and were flying over the treetops when I shouted, "I can't hold on!" in a a slightly high-pitched voice (I don't do heights), and as the pegasus made to hold onto me with the other hoof I went into free fall.
I remember hitting a few branches on the way down and that was about it.
I seriously need to stop getting knocked unconscious, its becoming a habit and I have too few brain cells as it is.
I woke up looking up into a dark canopy of trees with my head in a puddle of water and pain. Just pain. I strained myself sitting up, and checking to see if I had all my parts. My sweatshirt was still intact--except for on the arm that I had used to keep the wolf off me. Peeling the ragged sleeve back I found a nasty bite wound, nothing had been torn off but the gouges were deep and looking at the damage made me a little dizzy. I salvaged the sleeve and used it to wrap the bite up as best I could. Standing I felt something shift that wasn't supposed to shift, So that's what a broken rib feels like, oop, make that two. and I fell to the ground again scarcely containing a scream. I hadn't broken any bones before, I hadn't planned on it either, and damn it all to hell it hurt like a bitch.
A short while later, after considerable writhing in pain, I rose to my feet again and looked about. It was dark, a noxious smell filled the air, one that smelt of decay and mold, Its like Murkwood in the Hobbit and the trees all seemed to be spindly and tall with no branches save for high up. I could see a faint light through the gloomy trees, what I guessed was the sun but I couldn't gauge where in the sky it was. With a painful shrug I started walking towards the only source of light.
A few hours of stumbling and frayed nerves later I came to a meadow rife with wildflowers and rabbits with a stream running down its middle. The small critters scattered to other parts of the clearing at my approach, and I squinted up at the sun I could now clearly see. It looked to be midday, or just about, and I had been walking east, so north must be where Ponyville is? The meadow was surrounded on all sides except one by the forest, to the east there was a rise that ran near a gorge. Seeking the better view yet again I walked to it. On its crest I spied a deep gorge to my south, a bog to the west, and more forest--but smoke beyond it--to the north. In the far distance I could see the solitary peak with Canterlot on it Erebor-- No Jim, not now.
I figured that I should head south and move north along the outskirts of Murkwood or whatever its called, since there was less creature infested forest between me and safety that way. Holding my side and stretching as far as my damaged limbs would allow me, I trekked south towards the gorge.
All things considered having a couple of cracked ribs wasn't too bad, as long as I didn't breathe deep or try to exert myself much, I had been fortunate that I hadn't broken a leg or I would've been screwed like a tired sheep.
The sun sank faster than I would have liked and by the time I approached the gorge the sun was setting behind the hills to the west. Sighing at the fact I had to sleep outside, I roamed about looking for a place to settle in. I steered clear of the gorge since I could hear some of its inhabitants stirring and they didn't sound like the welcoming kind. An unoccupied hollowed out tree that laid between two rocks 100 meters from the gorge looked suitable for my needs and I made myself at home.
With only my clothes to keep me warm, I curled into the fetal position and pulled my hood up.
The following morning was a cold one, and I crawled out of my warren shivering and restless. I had heard noises in the night and the same dream from before had come back with a vengeance. The sun was inching up and I had a lot of ground to cover if I wanted to get back to the nice warm library and the snuggly pony who tended it--HEY, keep it in your pants man.
I found a rickety bridge further down the gorge near the falls from the river that flowed through it, sputtering and swearing the whole way across in a panic. Why must there be heights? Somewhere in the forest I heard a wolf howl, answered by another a few seconds later, putting some steel in my spine and energy in my step as I went north. My mind wasn't letting me travel in peace of course, since I kept thinking I saw eyes looking from the shadows of the trees and the imaginary sound of footsteps following me. I put a bigger distance between myself and the forest again, paranoia more than kicking in.
The only traveling music I had was my scuffling footsteps and my uneven breathing followed by my rapid heartbeat whenever I stopped to take a breather. I was thirsty, sore, and I thought my injuries were getting worse as I picked a piece of wood out of one of the tooth marks. At that time I heard a ghastly howl echo across the valley and my body froze with my eyes jerking towards the treeline. Those glowing eyes from before were there, gazing out at me with such a malevolence that it shook my frame, soon joined by four other pairs. Run Jim, run!
I took off at a lopsided sprint in no direction in particular, just away from the bloodthirsty monsters. I heard a second howl and underbrush being smashed as they came for me, though I didn't bother to look to see how many.
I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this
Soon I was out of breath and I thought I saw a road--no train tracks up ahead--and is that a train I hear? To my left there was a colorful locomotive fast approaching with passenger cars in tow. Que Indiana Jones theme
I ran like hell for the vehicle, the sounds of pursuit getting closer and closer with each step. Spotting an empty looking cargo car with its door open, I dove for it, my injured side bouncing off the doorway and my body landing in a heap. The wolves howled in anger at their prey escaping their grasp, and one tried to climb into the car with me, but I sent it back out with good old fashioned foot to the head.
Having exhausted myself quite expertly, I gave into sleep.
I was falling, falling into nothing. I could hear the monsters coming for me, but I didn't know where from, I could hear the wind howling past me in my descent. Then I found the ground with a bone-shattering thud.
I jolted awake rubbing my head from the bump that had interrupted my rest. The train had stopped and I heard someone say Ponyville. Flopping out the doorway of the train car I got to my feet and meandered away from the train that had stopped at what I guessed was the Ponyville train station. I was too delirious to tell what time of day it was. Not too far away I saw the familiar shape of Twilight's library, I grinned groggily and zombie-walked towards it, hurting with each step. The door opened easily enough, the house was as warm as I remembered and the smell of old books was a appreciated alternative to the forest's scents. A frazzled looking Twilight was frantically looking through a stack of books and scrolls that were strewn about the room, she looked up with a look of fright. "Jim?! Oh sweet Celestia, are you alright?" she ran up to me with a face of pure dismay and held me up with her front hooves on my shoulders. I shook my head dumbly, "Got bit, broke a few..." my voice seemed to gurgle as my head swam and vision became patchy and I collapsed into her.
What happened next I was sort of conscious for, I was aware of being carried by a couple of ponies, having needles poked into me and scared voices whispering to and fro. I didn't sleep, I just had fluctuations in my perception of time and my environment.
I broke through the haze after who knows how long feeling almost completely numb. For the second time since I came to this place I was in bandages, They lure you in with the ponies and the magic and then they stick ya, and I was laying in Twilight's bed on the third floor of the treehouse. I could move my arms with some sluggishness, one of which had a tube running to a blood pack and some other wire attached to a heart monitor. Being hooked up to such things made me terribly uneasy, the only time I had seen these before had been when I was visiting dying relatives at a hospital, good thing I wasn't in one of those.
I heard a soft snoring and looked to my left to find a sleep-deprived Twilight sitting in a chair with her head and front legs resting on the bed next to me. I immediately was struck with a cold pang of guilt, my disappearance must have scared her pretty bad and her hyperactive mind likely blew things even farther out of proportion. I slowly moved my hand and brushed a stray hair from her face resting it on one of her hooves. She stirred for a moment before cracking an eye open and seeing that I was awake the other slammed open, looking at my hand on her hoof. I felt blood rush to my face and I quickly removed my appendage, pulling off an uneasy smile. Smiled with an equally nervous giggle, "You're okay," her face hardened, "don't do that ever again Jim."
I drooped my head in shame, "I didn't mean to scare you like that, I just had really bad luck is all--" "You went wondering off on your own without telling anypony, even where you are from isn't that foolish?" she interrupted with a scold and a look of disappointment that was aimed square in my eye. I shrank back a little, she was angry, and that made me want to kick myself. I returned her look with my best apologetic face, "Look Twi I'm sorry, I got jumped by some wolf thing and next thing I know I am out in the woods alone, I almost got eaten twice, I had to sleep in a log, I broke a few things, and I should have told you I was going for a walk but..." I trailed off not knowing how else to explain what happened. I looked back to Twilight to see her features had softened into that of acceptance, she leaned forward, "Its okay, just let me know next time you want to go hurt yourself," and with that she planted a small kiss on my cheek before standing up and heading downstairs purposely keeping her face hidden from my view.
Months passed, my wounds healed, and the weather warmed to a more comfortable climate. In that time I got to know Twilight's friends better; I took some part-time work at Sweet Apple Acres and Sugarcube Corner to pay back Twilight for the medical bills and the food I was eating (a non-meat diet isn't too bad as long as you don't think of meat), I went for walks with Rainbow Dash as I came to know her, and helped out Fluttershy as well as Rarity with their projects. The forest I came to know as the Everfree remained at the top of my shit list, though how I was supposed to take revenge on an entire forest I had yet to puzzle out.
Since the kiss on the cheek incident Twilight and I had been a little jumpier around each other, such a thing being new to both of us, and I was experiencing a bit of conflict as to what I should do. Of all the women--or mares, or ah whatever--that I have known in my time, Twilight was the only one who seemed to show genuine sincerity and kindness towards me, the girls back home all seemed to like me as a friend and nothing more, but didn't have the heart to tell me such when I asked them out. This was exactly what I feared Twilight would do, you know, aside from me being a alien from another plane of existence or whatever the case may be.
One day when we were revising the library's catalog for the third time, I mustered up enough courage to ask her out. I was setting a book on the anomalies of magic in its place, when I turned to Twi, who was busy marking it off on one of her countless checklists. I took a deep breath, forming the sentence in my mind and as I was about to word it I was interrupted by the front door opening to reveal a pile of supplies with purple scaly legs, "A little help? Somepony!" he squeaked. I shook my head in minor frustration as I went to help him, and we put away the goods in short order. After Spike went upstairs to clean, I prepared to ask Twilight my question again, only to be cut off by her, "The next book is Anonymous Pony Volume 1," and she gestured to the stack of books we had been working through.
At first I went for the book, but then shook my head with determination, "No, Twilight," she looked up from her parchment in curiosity at my serious tone, "I-I need to ask you about something" I stuttered in sudden nervous energy. She levitated her quill and paper down, still looking at me curious as ever. I took another shaky breath, "I was wondering, if you would like to..." I was shaking uncontrollably, like I used to before having an asthma attack like when I was younger. I nearly fell onto the couch, trying to control my nerves to no avail, and Twilight rushed to my side, "Jim? What's the matter? Are your injuries acting up again? Do you need me to call a doctor?"
I couldn't help but let out a nervous chuckle, she sounded like a mother fretting over a klutzy infant, I bumped my palm into my forehead a few times and looked her in the eye, "Would you like to..." She didn't let me finish, instead she silenced me with a gentle hoof over my mouth, "Calm down Jim, its okay," she almost cooed, "Yes, I would love to go on a date with you," and she smiled. OH MOST JOYOUS OF JOYS YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUH! I couldn't help myself but spring up and dance about like a cartoon character, laughing as I did. After a moment or so of this I cleared my throat and regained my posture, seeing as Twilight was barely containing her own chortles.
"So," I began, "I hadn't really thought of where to take you--didn't think I would have gotten this far," I admitted embarrassed. She smiled as charming as she always did, "How about that nice little restaurant next to Sugarcube Corner, tonight?" I was petrified, "T-tonight?!", oh I had so much I had to get ready, my clothes, a shower, my manners, Rarity's rubbed off on me more than I would have liked oh I had so much to prepare!
Twilight frowned, "Unless you don't want to--" I interjected quickly: "NO! nononononono! Tonight's perfect! I just got some stuff to do, I-I-I'll meet you at the restaurant at eight!" and with that I was out the door booking it towards Rarity's house. I arrived panting, and immediately started slamming on the door. "Goodness gracious! Whoever you are you could learn a thing or two about not knocking on the door like a ruffian---oh Jim its you!" the unicorn greeted as she opened the entrance and I rushed in.
"Rarity, there is little time, I asked Twilight out and she said yes and we're going to that one restaurant in town square and I need to look nice and I want to look nice and I want it to be special!" By this time I was simply gasping for air, and Rarity was looking at me with some tears in her eyes, "That is just simply adorable Jim," she sniffled and wiped her eyes with a handkerchief, "now come here, we need to make you a suit that will have Twilight's heart aflutter the moment she sees you!"
After hours of waiting and manner lessons, I left the Carousel Boutique in a handsome dark blue suit, with star cuff links and a star on the breast pocket, I looked damn sharp if I do say so myself. My next stop was Sugarcube Corner and it was nearly eight o'clock already. I hurried in, an expectant looking Pinkie Pie was behind the counter and she waved happily as always. Like Pinkie, she knew exactly why I was there and had a half dozen of her famous cupcakes on hoof and ready for me. Pinkie Sense, I'm telling you. With my last item secured, I departed for the restaurant. It was a welcoming place, candlelight lit most of the establishment and it had a formal but relaxed feel to it. I reserved a table for two towards the back and waited impatiently. It was a few minutes to eight, and my brain was already rolling over the possible scenarios of what might happen.
Maybe she got cold feet? Maybe she didn't mean it? Did I overdo it on the suit? What was I thinking, she's not even human, why did I think this would work? Oh stop it, she is the nicest person you have ever encountered she wouldn't stand you up That's it I am leaving
As I stood to leave, she entered the restaurant. So that's why Rarity wanted my suit to have stars on it. Twilight was wearing a dark blue dress with a few other shades, stars along the seams, dainty shoes with stars on them, and a sparkling star earring. Her mane was curled at the back and it shined in the light. She was beauty made manifested as far as I was concerned at that moment. She spotted me easily, and slowly walked to me, with a goddess-like smile on her lips. "Hello," she greeted, to which I, in standard awkwardness responded with, "The name's Bond, James Bond" in a mock Sean Connery accent. The reference was lost on her but she giggled nevertheless, making warmth swell up in my chest.
She made for her seat, but I was there before her, pulling it out like a gentleman--Rarity would be proud--and scooting her back to the table once she was comfortable. I returned to my seat, again looking akin to Frankenstein's monster in comparison to the chair. I thought of bringing up a topic of conversation, but when I went to make eye contact I stopped, Twilight was staring into me with a look of bliss--sincere happiness at being there with me.
Is she okay? Even I am not that sexy--oh knock it off you narcissist
For a moment we stared into each other's eyes, before we both realized what we were doing and looked away blushing. Twilight was the first to speak, "Sorry, it's just... nopony has ever asked me out before and you have been so nice to me I..." she trailed off into thought like she always did and I uttered a content sigh. "Its okay Twilight, I am new to dating as well. Well, not as new as you, but this one has already been the best I have been on," I assured her candidly. Her face blushed adorably and she covered her eyes with a hoof as a waiter came to the table, "Are you two ready for me to place your orders?" the well kept stallion asked, eyeing me with some caution. "Oh yes of course," I stammered, "I would like the cucumber salad with a side of dressing and the lady would like..." I looked up at Twilight and she finished my sentence with: "I'll have the same please." The waiter nodded and left us for the kitchen.
Dinner was exquisite, we made small talk about happenings in town, and I liked cucumbers before but the way the chef prepared them was fantastic and before long I found myself comfortably full. I paid the bill and left a few bits for the waiter before we departed. The night was clear and somewhat warmer than those had been recently, but I still saw Twilight shiver. Now's your chance, giver her the-- No! I am not going to do that! I am a gentleman and a scholar! I didn't mean like that dipshit, I meant the snuggles... Oh right, sorry
Slowly reaching my right arm over to Twilight I placed a hand on her side. She jumped at the contact before looking back at me, with a smile and I pulled her close as we walked together, tricky considering the difference in physiology.
We arrived at the library in little time, and I got the door for my date. She nodded her thanks and trotted up the stairs, I watched as she went--was she swaying her hips seductively? I made a face of confusion looking up the stairs before I grabbed a copy of Daring Do from a shelf. I went upstairs at a moderate pace, peeling off my coat and dress shirt that I hung up in an empty closet, placing my dress shoes in there as well. When I got to the third floor I saw that there wasn't a fire going, so I set to making one before walking up the stairs to the landing. I didn't see Twilight anywhere, and the bed looked to still be made so I sat down on my side and undid my belt, leaving me in boxers and plain white undershirt as I pulled back the covers and got in.
The bed had to be one of the most comfortable things I had ever laid on and my form easily sunk into its spongy mattress. I noticed the bathroom, just across from the bed had a light coming from under the door. It was probably just Spike or Twilight--wait, where is Spike? The cat bed was empty and I couldn't hear his obnoxious snoring anywhere in the house, Oh no, I am alone in the house with Twilight.
I didn't know if I should have been panicking or excited, Twilight was up to something and not knowing what was playing hell with my mind. At that time the bathroom light turned off and its door opened to reveal Twilight no longer wearing her dress but she still had a star earring on. She gazed at me while she traipsed towards me, climbing over the foot of the bed and brought her face within a few inches of mine. I was too scared to move, Hey sue me I'm not used to female attention, and I began shaking uncontrollably. Twilight noticed my distress and her smirk turned to a frown, "Goodness Jim, what's the matter now?" and she moved over to her side of the bed still looking right at me. She sounded... impatient, like she was waiting for me to do... OH oh oh okay, um .
She did not avert her eyes, and she made to say something, but before she could I closed the distance, clasping a hand behind her head and bringing my lips to hers. I had never kissed someone like this before, or kissed someone for that matter, and I was terrified that I was doing something wrong.
She closed her surprised eyes and held my cheek with a hoof. I guess you did something right Casanova.
She pulled closer and I took her in my arms, instinct taking over I suppose, and we lost ourselves in the storm of feelings washing over us.
I was running. Running where to or where from was of little consequence, I just had to run. The ground was muddy and riddled with debris that cut my bare feet and slowed me down, it was raining.
Jim!
Who's there?
Jim!
Twilight?
I tripped and fell into the muck, looking behind me I saw her, sinking into the ground with an outstretched hoof and tears streaming down her face.
I'm coming Twi! Just hold on!
Dragging myself from my earthen bonds and scrambled to get back to her, tripping over every obstacle in the way. She was sinking at a terrifying pace, and she was pleading.
Don't let it get me Jim, please!
I dived just in time to catch her foreleg, and pull her out of the trap.
I got you Twi, I've got you...
At that moment a great inferno broke forth from the rainy darkness, turning the water to hot steam and burning me and Twilight. We screamed in pain as it washed over us. An invisible hand snatched Twilight from me, I could only cry out in rage and fear as the flames took her and she disappeared into them.
NOT HER TOO! ____________________________________________________
I woke up on the floor beside the bed, clasping a sweat-drenched pillow in my arms, threatening to burst its seams. I checked up on the bed to see Twilight still sound asleep, at least I hadn't caused her grief this time. Getting on my feet again I wiped some of the sweat off myself, feeling rather sick I went to the bathroom. I didn't vomit thankfully, just sat there with my arms on the toilet seat in case I needed to pull myself up to the bowl.
Fire. That was all I could think about. For a time spiders and small spaces where the most potent of my fears until the day I came home to a burning house and my family among the flames. The investigators determined the cause of the blaze had started with some faulty wiring in my room that had gotten overheated from me setting up a computer in there. The police didn't tell me this of course, I found out the exact cause when I read the report while they weren't looking. Some of my collectibles that my family had bought me over the years were still intact, and I handled them with great care. I used part of the inheritance I got to have them buried next to my grandparents, and used what was left to move as far away as I could--to a cabin on a farm where I could find peace--and enroll in college like my parents always wanted me to.
It didn't work of course, the law suspected me of purposefully starting the fire to get an early inheritance, after a long trial I was deemed innocent, and the nightmares followed me every step of the way. My reputation was stained and few saw me as a possible employee in their business, so I scraped by every month living off the bargain groceries I could afford. My classes had been going well, I was passing with above average scores, something that I had hardly ever achieved during my time as a student, and a pizza place had been considering hiring me when I had careened off that bridge on that morning that seemed so long ago.
The scar in my memories being reopened had made me cry, as hard as I had tried to hold the sobs back they forced their way from me in violent gasping attacks. I felt drained, of both emotion and water, as I left the bathroom. Wiping my nose and eyes clear of tears I walked to the bed to sit. Twilight was still sound asleep, my shirt was stained with tears--and I wasn't wearing any pants. My eyes opened as wide as dinner plates at the discovery--Mr. Johnson was just hanging there, enjoying the fresh air.
I didn't! Oh snap son... yeah you kinda did. Maybe they fell off in my sleep? Do you see them?
I whirled about trying to find my missing briefs, and I found them alright--underneath the soundly sleeping Twilight who was facing away at that time.
Maybe she doesn't realize that-- You are in major denial man, you guys did the nasty. Why must you refer to it like that? Why not something more..? Snu snu? No! Oh forget it, you are not helping in the slightest. You got laid. Oh you jerk.
I must have lapsed into some sort of sex coma? I had blacked out part way through the deed? I hadn't a clue as to what had transpired but I had a pretty good idea what must have happened. I. Got. Laid. Looking back it couldn't have been with a better person, someone I really really liked, maybe even lo--Simmer fine sir, you don't want to jump the gun--if you know what I mean! Oh come on that didn't even make sense.
I exhaled dumbfound and got back under the covers, leaving Twilight her room to shift. I moved to my right and held my head up with my arm, she was breathing evenly, her mane somewhat ruffled and covering much of the space between us. I ran a hand through it, happy as could be. I must have a heavy hand since Twi turned over to face me, her eyes cracked open just enough for me to see her pupils, "Everything okay?" she murmured still half-asleep. I smiled, "For the most part", as I ran my hand over her cheek. She inched closer and buried her head in chest, returning to her catatonic state in seconds. That wasn't entirely truthful of me. Why I hadn't told her yet I wasn't sure, I just knew that I had to, for the good of both of us.