Wow. Much Ford. Very T-Model.
It's a well-known fact that if the rent ain't too high, then something else is. In the case of one little city in Canuckistan, the thing that gets too damn high is its very own drunkard brony mayor. When he's not interrupting someone's speech or making lewd comments on live television, he is likely definitely smokin' it up with some of his Somali buddies somewhere in Toronto.
Somewhere in Toronto…
"Hey man, let's get high!"
"Lel okay"
A few minutes later…
Our heroic brony is TOO DAMN HIGH! He's so high that he decides to cross a literally chickenshitless road with the prime objective of getting to the other side, but unfortunately for him, an award-winning 2014 Ram 1500 was driving on said road at the same time, so the Ford went splat under the not-Ford truck, and the driver got his ass raped by a brown dude in jail, not that we care about that, though; we care about what happened after this browny died and went to Android Hell for being a naughty robot (if you know what I mean)… on second thought, that sounds excessively boring, so let’s skip ahead to the part where he’s in the Perpetually Gratis Jungle; many lesser bronies have been lost upon not being there, but this one is smart enough to find himself — how about that, eh?
Upon waking up (not down, cuz that’s gay, yo), he immediately knew where he had been transported to 'cause he’s really über smart and stuff. He was unmenacingly sitting up when suddenly, a manticore and its effeminate timberwolf lover jumped out of the bushes and started chasing him. Fortunately, he is Le Karate Master and therefore can run really fast.
Later, after he had majestically outrunnerized the terribly homosexual monsters, he reached the sunny edge of the forest and happened upon a cottage thing. ”Aww fuck yeah, time for RAPE! I could use some mare pussy right aboot now.” said Sir Ford. Yes, he actually said "aboot" instead of "about". Don’t blame me. He’s Canadian. Things are different up in 'Murica’s Hat.
In preparation for a rather unpleasant meeting with a certain white rabbit, he whipped out his Swiss Army Knife and set it to medium stun. Upon kicking open Fluttershy’s door, said rabbit immediately attempted to destructificate our hero’s nads. Good thing he had that phaser ready. “PEEW PEEW” said the Swiss Phaser. Devil Bunny responded with a pitiful “Oh no I'm dead”, then he died.
Our hero walked into a bar Fluttershy’s bedroom and found her cowering under her succulently succulent bed. He got out his large crack pipe (the biggest in Toronto!) and smoked some of that shit, then injected four whole marijuanas for good measure. Rob Ford then articulated “Hay Fluttershy you're my favorite pony” and started petting her on the top.
She responded by crying even harder, and God Ford became pissed on as fuck by this, so he said “Okay fuck you, you little bitch!” and flipped her over onto her back, then delicately spread her hind legs apart and drank in the delicious sight in front of him. He heard a faint whisper: “No, please don’t…”. Good thing he was too high to give a flyin’ fuck because of all that cocaine and mary jane that he injected just before this unstartling new development.
The Fordster started rubbing Fluttershy’s pussy with his left hand while singing his favorite song: “Every day, I wake up in the morning, smack my bitch, where’s breakfast bitch…”. While Fluttershy started getting unconsentingly wet, Fordie took another hit from his bong with his other hand. Alarmingly, he got a great idea from this foul act. He stopped rubbing Fluttershy’s hooter and shoved his bong into it. Fluttershy, being the whorse that she is, didn’t scream in pain; instead, she moaned as the combustion gave her a pleasurably pleasurable pleasure.
Meanwhile, Devil Bunny had magistically reincarnated his pingas as a parasprite and was wirelessly flying it upstairs. The poor thing got tuckered out from never having eaten anything in its entire short life, so it died and went to purgatory for the terrible sin of being too ignorant to believe in Allah. This did not go unnoticed by Lord Ford, who has the best hearing of any layer mayor around (it’s Onion Enhanst™). He swooped down the stairs seemingly, grabbed the parasprite, ran back up, took the bong out of Flutterfuckershy's delicious horse vagina, and rammed the parasprite all the way to her cervix. She moaned moaningly, then started starting to start the beginning of the start of the first part of the artful beginning of masturbation with a parasprite in her vajayjay. It’s like a jay bird, ja?
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Twilight Sparkle, who was visiting her secret marefriend in Canterlot (psst: it’s Princess Luna) was watching the ongoing rape with her marefriend, Princess Luna. They were using a smelloscope for that extra spice of eroticism. Mutual lesbian masturbation is a wonderful thing – not as wonderful as chaos, though! Either one can lead to excessive application of carpet-munching to the forehead, but only chaos has the muscle to support up to one hundred and fifty nein thousand grams. In addition, it seals leaks instantly – use it on pipes and faucets for a permanent seal ! As you knead, it activates, turning from green to white, to show that it’s ready to hold on tight. Whether it’s penis to vagina, vagina to vagina, or even penis to penis, any job, big or small, chaos putty repairs them all. There’s nothing you can’t do with a bit of chaos in your life! Discord truly is the best pony ;_;
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All good things must cum into an end, which is why Bobbin’ Rob was thrusting hard into Fluttershy’s plothole. With a final grunt and slap, he crame buckets into her. After he pulled out, his drug-filled jizz started oozing out of dat plot. It was the sexiest thing that Twilight Sparkle and Princess Luna had ever witnessed. They came with the fury of a thousand moons while rubbing their marehoods together, and were married the very next day.
To be cuntinued