> The Perky Pink Parfait of Ponyville > by RGLloyd > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Prologue: A life saving Pinkie promise (Original contest entry chapter) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Hello,” I smiled cheerfully at the ponies who passed by in the Ponyville streets. They smiled, nodded, and greeted me back. Oh, I love this town! It’s so abundant! I entertained myself with thoughts of all of the happy little delicious meals that trotted past. I glanced over at a window as I cantered along to check my disguise. Perfect! Shattered Dreams, you are the perfect persona of pony! I looked like any other light blue overly happy schmuck with a dark turquoise to light green spectrumed mane. I rustled my wings, happy I’d chosen a pegasus disguise. Most changelings would certainly prefer the use of their horn. However, I found the wings handy for dispersing all the unnecessary heat these inefficient bodies tended to generate. That, and flying was just too convenient to pass up. I shook my mane, and ruffled up my wings, savoring the cool air as it sapped the irritating waves of heat rolling through me. I quietly snickered as the ponies around me shivered in the soothing breeze. Silly fleshlings. So fragile- A giggle rumbled it’s way up my throat. -and cluelessly delicious. So many nummies walking by just radiating free waves of delectable emotions. I stumbled in shock as I quickly wiped away the small line of drool from my muzzle. None of that! Show a little hive discipline! I shook my head habitually, and cringed in disgust as the fleshy ears flopped back and forth. Eeew...I’ll never get used to that! My hive had been destroyed three months ago after the Canterlot guard followed Queen Chrysalis and her brood into the wastes. We never saw it coming. Our princess was ill prepared for the slaughtering armies of the ponies as they descended upon us. Not that I blame Queen Chrysalis. Sacrificing a lesser colony to save the mane hives is a noble death in one's duty to the over hive. In the end, our princess did survive along with most of the nymphs. However, enough lives had been sacrificed to sate the blood thirsty ponies. I remember them walking away from my broken body as they left me to die. When I turned to look the other way, my own hive had done no less. I missed the buzz of the hive dearly on lonely nights, but I had made a decision that day to turn to the life of a hiveless lone fang. There was something to be said for being a lone fang. The food was so fresh compared to the regurgitated green slop of feelings back in the hive pools that it made me giddy just thinking about it. The delicacies that abounded were more than enough to make up for the blistering sun, irritatingly weak vulnerable fleshy guise, and the constant threat of impending doom should I ever be caught. I shivered, pushing it out of my mind as I focused down on my destination. I trotted merrily up to the Sugarcube Corner doors. Just as I had since the first day the most delectable of all pallet tingly ponies had tackled me upon entering this town. Swiftly I cleared the drool from my muzzle again. Back at the hive they would call me an excentric for preferring one flavor of love over another. However, I just couldn’t shake the heady joyful tingles that… “Hay! Dreamy!” A bright and cheery voice screamed from inside the store. I darted back from the door, reared up on my hind legs, and spread my forehooves wide. “Perky Pink Parfait!” I’m sure I was grinning like a fool as I shouted it out, but I didn’t care as the pink missile burst through the Sugarcube front door and slammed into me. In those microseconds that I was airborne everything that was Pinkie Pie flowed into me. I reveled in the waves of loving friendship as they radiated through the fleshy guise straight down into my changeling...everything. I didn’t care that my tongue was lolling out, or that my vision was fading around the edges, or that my heart was beating so fast my guise threatened to drop. No, all I cared about was that pink fuzzy embrace that reminded me every day why I would never leave this town to crawl back to my hive. Pinkie’s love was so different. So innocently free and unfettered by doubts, yet complex in it’s layers. Globs of love infused with syrupy kindness, layered with fruity friendship preserves, crusted over with doubtless crumbles of trust. All in a tirelessly perky pink cup of infectious joy. The parfait that is Pinkie Pie pounced upon me, pinning me to the ground, and I reveled in every delicious second of it. “Dreamy!” Pinkie giggled. “Wake up silly billy gumdrop. You’re staring at me again…” She fluffed her hair around. Then her face suddenly dropped in a pink blur, coming nose to nose with me. “P-P-Pinkie, I uhm...hi!” I said a little too loudly. “Hi!” She replied with gusto, grinning wildly. “You kept our Pinkie promise…” Heat rushed into my cheeks from the flood of Pinkie’s syrupy love coursing through my veins. “Of course Dreamy, I ALWAYS keep my Pinkie promises!” She squeed in response, an action that sent me over the edge. My heads spinning. I realized too late. I ate too much! Chaotic swirls of emotion sieged my chest. Terror slipped it’s icy maline around my throat. It’s hard to breath... I panicked as I sucked desperately at the air. So hard to breath! Even as I was blacking out, Pinkies panicked cries for help sent me further into emotional overflow. The intensity of her love coursed through my gut, tingled out my legs, and burned through my wings. “Soo-” My eyes rolled back. ”-delicious…” And the world went black. Slowly, blurry tendrils of light filtered into my vision. I could feel my heart pumping wildly long before I could make out the fuzzy shapes moving around me. My stomach churned. A sick queasy had settled in. “Ohh…I think I ate too much.” I moaned as I rolled over on whatever soft cushy thing I was laying on. “Really!? I do that all the time.” Pinkie’s voice snapped me out of my blurry little bubble. “Hay...wait a minute…didn’t you come here to eat?” I stared at her. I could taste little tendrils of worry, doubt, and expectation emanating from her chest. “Oh, I uhm...I’m fine! Really, nothing wrong with me…” I dodged her eyes. She squinted curiously at me. “That’s not what I asked you, but...oookyyy-” Her eyes perked wide open as she let it slide. “-dokie lokie!” She grinned. “If you say so.” I expertly blocked the emotions to avoid a repeat of earlier. I’m such a glutton. I need to be more careful. I could have completely blown my cover! Pinkie appeared again in my face, muzzle to muzzle. “Well?” My heart exploded. The close contact somehow shattered through my emotional blockade. No! It’s still there! Somehow, she’s getting emotions passed the block! Pinkie...what are you? “Uhh?” I stared into her eyes, searching in panic for the proper reply. “Uhh?” She copied me half mockingly with a smile on her lips, and her eyes scrunched up in excited mirth. Tear out my wings, and be done with it! I don’t know what the proper reply is! Is this some sort of friendship ritual? I could feel sweat bead up on my brow. Heat was rushing maddeningly into my face. What do I do? Oh, she smells so good. Shut up brain! Now’s not the time! What should I be doing right now? She’ll figure me out for sure! I’m DOOMED! My mouth moved on its own. “Can...maybe you give me a little hint?” I turned my head to the side and impulsively face-hoofed. “What a stupid thing to ask!” My eyes shot wide open and my hoof slid down to cover my mouth, terrified by the complications my outburst would cause. Pinkie giggled, turned my muzzle back to hers with a hoof, and rolled her eyes. “Well, duh...obviously if you didn’t come here hungry then you are here for a totally diifffeerreennt reason.” She prompted me, her eyes widening expectantly. I stared back dumbly, the heat flooding everywhere. “Well at least your wings are being honest...” She teased. I blinked. “Uh...uhm?” I snaked my hoof down to feel my wings which were stiff out the sides. I was trapped, unable to roll either way as these treacherous wings held me captive on my back, and Pinkie kept me pinned by a nose. “They are hard, and...feel like they are on fire. I-is that bad?” She gasped, the smell of pink parfait washed over me. My ears fell back, and I twittered like an idiot. My antics elicited another giggle from my pink captor. “I like how you tease me! But it’s been weeks, Dreamy! If you’re gonna ask me out would you just do it already!?” “YES!!” The word left my mouth in a trumpeted blast, blowing Pinkies hair back into wind swept spikes. She blinked a few times in shock, her lips frozen in a wavy grin. Pinkie shook her head in a blur. “Wow! I wasn’t even THAT excited about it, but now I am!” She hoofed at her chin. “Though technically you didn’t ask…” She paused thoughtfully for a second. “I’ll accept it anyway. Just this once!” She twittered cheerfully as she turned and bounded back towards a pink door at the other end of the room. I blinked up at the ceiling, laying flat on my back on the rooms only pink bed in shock. “W-what just happened?” “You asked me out on a date-” She paused dramatically. “-finally.” Pinkie turned and called back over her shoulder. “I’m going to do some chores then get ready. I have all kinds of fun stuff to plan for tonight! You go ahead and rest on my bed. I think you might be the first to keep up with me! Of course that’s what I’ve said to all my dates before, well except maybe for the very first one, but you will be the first for sure!” She looked back with a giddy manic smile and hopped out the door, shutting it behind her. I listened to her speedy chant of fun-fun-fun fade down the hall in a confused daze. Then it hit me...hard! N-n-no-NO! I am NOT ready to date my parfait! Shivers ran up and down my spine and limbs. I could feel my breathing pick up. Then another thing dawned on me. This is her bed... My jaw hung open, my breaths coming in panicked gasps… I’m in her brood chamber! Somewhere in the back of my mind a voice, more versed in survival than I, screamed for me to run. Instead my treaturous limbs refused to move, still trapped by my own wings. Suddenly, I felt incredibly drained, light headed, and exhausted. With a nervous sigh, I found myself accepting Pinkie’s offer to pass blissfully into sleep surrounded by the sweet heady scent of my favorite food. “Surprise!!” “Yeahhh!!” I burst out of my sleep, and slammed into the ceiling. Panicked and desperately trying to grasp the situation. “Wow! I didn’t know you could walk on ceilings!” Pinkie oggled at me. “Y-yes...I was born with that abilit…” It dawned on me a little late as I let go and flopped back down on the bed. “I-I uh…” I stared at her in horror. This is it! I’m doomed! “Oh, no! It’s okay! Don’t panic, I do stuff that other ponies think is weird all the time.” Pinkie ducked under the edge of the bed. I followed, looking every which way for her. However, she had completely vanished. Then, there was a tapping at the window behind me. Upon looking back I saw Pinkie outside, hanging upside down. “What!? that’s amaz…” She disappeared. I turned back to the room. “Ahhh!” I slammed against the wall in a panic as Pinkie reappeared from under the bed. “Tadah!” She threw her forelegs out to the sides with flare, and grinned giddily. “See? Fun right?” “Wow, there’s no way predators could ever catch you!” I caught of glimpse of myself in the mirror behind her, grinning like some idiot prey ready to hoof myself over for dinner. “Nope!” She beamed. “Nopony can catch me!” The predator sparked in me, my mouth moved impulsively. “I wanna try...” “Best idea ever!” She grinned wider, and in a blur she was instantly invading my muzzle space again. “If you catch me, I’ll give you something special…” She batted her eyes, and in the blink of an eye was gone from the room. My mouth watered, energy flooded through my limbs, and I bolted from the room. I was down the stairs and outside almost instantly, sniffing the air, my eyes skillfully picking out every shadow in the waning light of the setting sun. I caught her scent, and homed in on a barrel just outside the Sugarcube diner. Upon popping the lid off Pinkie burst out, and bolted down the road. Instinct coursed through my veins, the world took on new clarity, and my heart felt as if it’d burst through my chest at any moment. My hooves and wings worked in unison to propel me down the road. Shops and ponies blurred past as I used old crowded hive skills to dodge and weave through all obstacles in my way. Pinkie dodged down an alleyway, I snapped at her delectable cotton candy tail as she yanked it teasingly just out of my reach over and over. “Ahhh, Dreamy’s going to eat me!” She mocked playfully, laughing giddily as she picked up the pace. I panted, gasping for breath. Oh if you only knew! My hooves pumping the ground in a mad rush to catch the delight of my life. “Dreamy...oh Dreamy…” Pinkie grinned back at me with a sly smile. “Are you daydreaming about my flank again?” “What!?” She dodged to the side as I bolted past her, and slammed into a wall. Pain shot through my head and down my spine. I squinted through it, trying to shake off the haze around my muddled brain. I looked over at Pinkie and smiled. “Nice one, you got me good that…” The words turned to stone, catching in my throat. My pony voice had faded, replaced with the natural high buzzing pitch I was born with. I didn’t have to look at my hooves to know they were covered in black carapace. It was blazon upon Pinkie’s face. Shock and horror seared through me. The feelings coming from her burned in my veins, stabbed at my chest, and sapped the strength from my legs. I lost the will to survive as ponies jumped on me, and pinned me to the ground. Even as I was bound with rope I begged my parfait to not cry, but my words were drowned in the angry shouts of the mob as I was crushed under a pile of squishy limbs. I sat bound in town square. Ponies gathered around staring at me with mixed levels of horror, disgust, and hatred. The emotional soup in the air made me gag. Royal guards had landed and were discussing protocols on hoofing over the prisoner with the local authorities. Doubtless I would be interrogated then executed. Who cares, I already died once, and I’m dead to the hive. I sighed, my wings drooping as I stared at the ground. I’m dead to Pinkie... I watched in awe as tears streamed down my muzzle. Why do I care so much about my food? I ground my lip painfully with my fangs, trying to bite away the pain of the emotions searing through my chest and settling in my gut. “I’m really mad at you…” My head snapped up as I stared dumbfounded at Pinkie sitting a few legspans away. My vision locked onto her, the crowd around us disappeared. Her honeyed voice gooeyed its way across the gap between us to soothe my misery. A last meal. I mused darkly. “I’m so sorry…” Though words bubbled in my throat, nothing more would come forth. “I guess this is goodbye?” She looked up at me. “You changed your hair?” I stalled, anything for a few more brief moments in her presence before I was hauled off to my death. “It falls flat sometimes…” She looked off to the side, and slowly turned away. Misery radiated from her, and it made me sick to think I caused it. “I liked your cotton candy hair.” So pathetic... Guards started slowly clopping towards us. I glanced at them in panic. It was now or never, I had no more time, she was already leaving, slowly walking away. “Pinkie! I don’t care if I die, but please keep smiling! Your love was the most delicious of them all! I beg you not to lose that!” I sobbed through my words as her hooves faltered. “PINKIE!” My horn flared to life burning through my bonds with searing green fire. “You are my hive!” The fire engulfed my body and I took on my pony guise once more. I threw my forelegs to the side as I stood up. The guards rushed at me, I closed my eyes, waiting for their blades to pierce my chest. “I love my Perky Pink Parfait!” I don’t know how long she sent me sailing through the air, but I etched Pinkie’s words onto the very core of my heart. “We’d all starve without love…” > Ch1: From the Beginning v2 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I stood atop my hive’s mesa. It’s steep orange side fell off below me into a long vertical drop, bottoming out into a vast sea of red cracked earth. The Badlands, as the ponies called them, were my home. A vast wondrous world full of challenges and dangers stretching to the horizon in every direction. The sun was at it’s peak in the dusky grey sky. My wings buzzed, instinctively cooling off my natural armor. Constant wind whipped the red sand across my carapace whistling naturally through my snugs, the holes in my legs, warning off predators. It was a comforting feeling, the vibrations familiarity echoing through my body reminded me I was still alive despite the crack in my carapace just below my wing. I took a deep breath, savoring the heady scent of my beloved homeland. However, I gagged on the sudden stench of death as it wafted past me. I didn’t want to turn around. I had seen plenty this day, though I have no recollection of how long I was unconscious. The ponies were long gone, having taken their dead and wounded with them. The bodies of my kin, however, still lay broken and strewn across the mesa top behind me. The thought that the barbaric ponies would take their dead with them was confusing, but rescuing their living and injured felt logical, and even admirable. However, I shuddered at the remembrance of the slaughter when they had descended upon my home. I looked south knowing that Queen Chrysalis, on her way back from a failed invasion on Canterlot castle, and the master brood had made it home safely because of my hive’s sacrifice. Nevertheless, the victory churned sour in my stomach, knowing full well that no help would be coming to check for survivors. I knew we were expendable. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it…” “What are you mumblin’ about, grub?” A familiar voice chuckled from behind me. “Throw up your ears, and stop makin’ an old bug buzz out.” My blood chilled as I gasped. “Core! You ancient dung beetle! Where are you?” I threw up my ears, and swiftly connected into the channels. It was unsettlingly quiet. I looked around for my squad captain, blurring my eyes slightly to block out as much of the gore as I could. Try as I may though, I still couldn’t keep from stepping on the occasional shell of a fallen family member, my stomach twisting with each sickening crunch. I wished desperately that I could still fly. “Over here…” Core’s mental voice reached out over the air waves weakly as it guided me to him. I located the source of Core’s voice. The closer I drew, the more I wish I hadn’t. “Core… Oh Chrysalis, no.” “Come off it, and act like a guard Shatter!” Core glared up at me from the broken remains of his crushed body. “Core, I can’t fix you…” “I know, grub. I’m broken, not stupid.” Core paused, taking an unsteady breath. I could hear his thoughts as he mentally prepared the question. “Yes, Core. Of course I can. You don’t have to ask.” I looked at him sadly. “Haha!” He barked out loud. “The one time you show me respect, and it’s in my last moments as you get ready to off me.” I hesitated, gritting my teeth as I stared at him, dreading my next movements. “Relax, Shatter. I’ve lived long enough. There’s no fixing this old rock any longer. Just get it over with.” He grinned feebly. “At least I get to watch you squirm one last time, maggot.” I shook my head. “Just give me a moment…” “Sure, take your time…the suspense is killing me,” he teased. I rolled my eyes, somehow finding the will to grin at these last grim moments, our conversation hitting me as ironically normal. My hoof flared to life with green fire, and elongated into a sharp spike. I positioned over him, putting the tip to the base of his head. “You aren’t going back, are you?” he asked somberly. I shook my head. “No…” “Going lone fang then, huh? I don’t blame you, Shatter. Not after Feelia.” He looked at me curiously. “Will you shed tears over me?” I grinned with a chuckle as I said out loud, “not a chance…” His mirthful snort was cut off as I plunged the spike deep into his brain. His last thoughts breezed across the channels, barely perceivable to my receptors. “See you in a week...” The ensuing silence ate at me as the sand blasted winds whistled hauntingly through my snugs. My thoughts were blank save for the feeling of finality that coursed through my chest in cold hollow waves. I was now dead; completely severed from the swarm, the hive, and my family. A lone fang. I would be killed if caught by ponies because of what I was, or by my own kin to keep the secrets I knew safe. It was a long time before I realized the shadows had elongated, crawling their way across the remains of silent witnesses to my betrayal. My resolve played over the situation countless times in my mind, fighting against instinct to return to the hive. I sat there frozen in time as the sun sank towards the horizon, Core’s head still in my hoof, his eyes full of lifeless mirth staring up at me. There were no tears in my eyes. “Changelings can’t cry…” || Pause || “I-I-I c-c-can’t watch this…” Fluttershy squeaked, her voice sobbing uncontrollably in my mind. “You don’t have to Fluttershy,” Twilight intoned sadly. “I will release you from the spell.” Pinkie gasped. “No! Wait, please Fluttershy. I know it’s hard, but I just want all of you to know him like I know him.” “Pinkie… We just saw him kill one of his own family!” Applejack’s mental voice heaved, her words having a queasy sick tone. I sighed. “It was necessary. He was too broken.” Applejack’s words blasted at me, throbbing through my receptors. “Horse apples! A pony never gives up on their kin! Ever!” She shouted in rage. “But you ain’t no pony are ya? You’re just a sick twisted…” Her words trailed off in strangled huff, unable to speak past her disgust. Before I could reply, Rainbow Dash spat in her own two bits. “You were too afraid to go back to your hive, so instead of saving your captain, and taking him to a hospital, you killed him! You’re a coward!” “Now girls, don’t forget, his captain did ask for death.” Twilight’s voice was forced, disgusted, but still analytical. “This may be part of their custom.” “Yes he did, Twilight, which begs more questions to be answered.” Rarity, waves of her revulsion passed through the connection, speaking nearly twice as loud as the others emotions. Briefly, I admired her resolve at keeping steady analytical thoughts, which she picked up on. “Do not patronize me, fiend! I am only connecting to your disgusting mind as a favor to my dear friend Pinkie Pie! However, I have no tolerance for a murderer! I hope only to help cure my friend of her delusions from your insidious lies!” The words stung through me. Only a day ago I had considered these ponies friends, had foolishly grown attached to them… but that was over now. “Shhh… It’s going to be ok, Dreamy,” Pinkie called to me using her favorite pet name as she cooed in my mind. “But… I also wanna know… Why would you do such a horrible thing?” The mildest hint of distrust in her voice hit me harder than all the other five’s open revulsion to my existence combined. I blurted out the answer, eager to please her, and to validate my actions. “I had to! He was broken. He would have died slowly there in the wastes, picked apart by buzzards. We are not like ponies. A broken changeling is a dead changeling, and we do not have hospitals. A changelings armor does not heal or grow back…” The six gasped all at once. I was slightly confused at the shock. “Oh, dear, I may have just betrayed valuable information I shouldn’t have. Please, do not use this against my hive!” Pinkie cut through the chatter of questions that came at me. “Dreamy! Your shell under your wing! It’s been cracked!” Her voice was frantic, which made me sad for worrying her. “That won’t heal?” “I’m sorry Pinkie. Forgive me for being broken. If you deem me useless, I will bow out of my run for your hoof, and refrain from dishonoring you further. I will die with what dignity I have left.” Pinkie gasped. “No! Dreamy! Stop it!” “What kind of logic…” Twilight began, stumbling over her words. “Your entire thought process is alien to us…” “Of all the manipulative, disgusting…” Rarity growled over the channel. “Pinkie! Can’t you see he is playing upon your feelings to manipulate you?” “Ahm sick of this. You cain’t fool me bug! Stop making Pinkie cry with your twisted lies!” Applejack joined Rarity and Dash in a chorus of angry hateful words while Twilight struggled to calm them down. I bore it all stoically, answering questions only when asked, and ignoring the hate while offering desperate apologies to stop Pinkie’s tears. Suddenly, Fluttershy’s gentle thoughts caressed the chaos, bringing it down to a stunned silence. “I want to stay…i-if you all don’t mind.” She mentally gulped. Admittedly, even I was thrown into riveted anticipation. “Uhm… I-I may just be imagining it, but the feeling in his words… uhh… feel real? To me at least.” The silence continued, prompting her to whisper even quieter. “I… I really want to…” She stuttered over her words, trying to squeak them out. Her anxiety was nearly overwhelming as it flooded through the channel. Finally, after building up her courage she blurted it all out. “I-I really want to know if he loves Pinkie Pie…” I was touched by the sentiment that she truly cared. It made me happy in the face of the ensuing annoyed, though subdued, thoughts of some of the others as to whether or not it actually ‘mattered’. “Wow, thanks Fluttershy! It really means a lot that you care so much.” Pinkie jumped back into the conversation excitedly. “I mean to go through all that horribly gorey stuff and stay for more…” Fluttershy meeped, her presence on the channel shrinking back. “You are really a wonderful friend. I’m sure there’s all kinds of horrors ahead in this story that will give us all kinds of terrible night...” She continued on as I mentally nodded in agreement. I could sense Fluttershy shaking. “Uhm, maybe I changed…” “Wait a minute!” Pinkie switched gears mid-sentence. “Dreamy, ponies aren’t violent! There’s no way ponies would have slaughtered your hive like that!” “Aha! I knew it! The vermits lyin’. Ship him off to the castle for interrogation!” Applejack grunted in satisfaction. “Who’s up fer dinner? My treat!” Dash snickered. “What? Seriously? Why wouldn’t we stomp the hive into the ground? They attacked us first, Applejack. Besides, what’s the point of having armed guards with sharp pointy objects if they don’t kick the ever lovin’ plot out the enemy now and then?” A heated argument quickly ensued with questions ranging from pony history and possible necessity of such drastic action to flat out denial that pony culture could ever be capable of something so horrendous. Either way the argument swung, it wasn’t in my favor. “Hold on! Please, nopony should jump to conclusions. I can easily double check with the castle on troop movements, and I’m sure that princess Celestia will be open with any military decisions to invade changeling territories. There has to be a perfectly good explanation for all of this!” Everypony grunted their consent. I breathed a sigh of relief. I was safe… for now. “Shatter, please continue.” Twilight’s anxious voice tinged with excitement scared me more than the hate from the others. It made me nervous, while hate would persecute me, that curiosity would be picking apart every insignificant thought that I betrayed my old hive with. However, I foolishly continued on. Driven by my love... < Play > A deceptively meek looking yellow mare with a pink mane coiled before me in what I could only guess was either an odd greetings ritual, or my first encounter had seen straight through my disguise. I hid behind my good wing, protecting my injured one while taking into account my guise, checking it over for the hundredth time that morning. My coat and wings were light blue, a color reminiscent of my dear princesses hair. My mane was a long turquoise to light green spectrum which I had been so proud of pulling off. The colors were calmingly familiar ones from the glowing pools of royal jelly that oozed down the walls back at my old hive. Certainly it would lull my food into unsuspecting comfort zones. || Pause || “That, simply, would not have been my first choice in color combinations!” Rarity humphed. “Shhh…” twilight Scolded. “He calls us food, and that’s the first thing ya pickup on?” Applejack interjected. “Ssshhh!” < Play > No, it’s not me. Obviously something else is wrong! Waves of apprehension flooded through my gut. Suddenly, I felt very queezy, wondering if I was doomed before I had ever stepped hoof within my first pony town. I reminded myself that these creatures were dangerous and blood thirsty, and that I was at a disadvantage already against their numbers even before taking into account my injured wing. I would be killed on sight the moment they discovered my true identity. Suddenly, the horror of my situation redoubled upon me. I looked back at this creature with renewed respect, fear chilling up the unfamiliar bony ridge along my back. I had been a fool to rush in, being too distracted by the gnawing hunger in my new gutt to notice her until we were nearly on top of each other. Though, to her credit, she had been skillful in her stealth, and silent hoof falls. This one is obviously a skilled forward scout or guard... || Pause || “Fluttershy a guard? Bwahahaha!! Who knew changelings were so dumb!” Dash guffawed through the channel. “Well, I uhm, really appreciate the thought anyway Shatter…” Fluttershy giggled, a tinge of irritation in her words at Dash’s comment. < Play > I peeked between a couple feathers at her as she peeked back from behind her mane, determined to continue this sick twisted game of silent glances while these uncontrollable pony emotions and hungers devoured me from within. The silence swept on for an agonizing eternity, my resolve slowly breaking down with each passing minute. Sweat built up uncomfortably under my fur, the new sensation adding a tinge of revulsion to my already overwhelming discomfort. Changelings don’t leak from their carapace! I thought irritably. I could feel myself involuntarily shrinking with every glance from my first contact. Get ahold of yourself Shatter!! I screamed in my own mind, but I couldn’t stop the shaking that was rattling my feathers. I glared at the ground to reset my brain, trying to find some shred of my old resolve, but images of my hives massacre were too fresh as they haunted the back of my mind. I looked up and froze. She had inched closer, an unreadable look on her face. Her features had definitely changed, and now she was eyeing me up and down. I gasped, the air catching in my lungs as I tried to force myself back. She inched a little closer, my hooves froze to the ground. Her lips moved, she whispered something, but I couldn’t hear her over the pounding of my own heart. A dangerous dizziness washed over me, threatening to incapacitate me altogether. The mares features changed again, her face wrinkling in a different direction as she began slowly moving towards me. Buzz me! I must have made her angry! || Pause || “Oh...oh my...I was soo assertive.” Fluttershy’s giggles flitted through the channel. I sighed in relief when Pinkie’s sniffles gave way as she joined Fluttershy’s little giggles. “Dreamy, you’re so cute! She was concerned, not angry, silly.” “I have since learned to read pony facial expressions far better,” I stated proudly. “Uhg...can we not have so many in-ter-rupt-tions, please?” Twilight growled irritably, though her words were still marinated in that overwhelming curiosity which unsettled me so. “Sorry!” we all chorused, chagrin in our voices. < Play > I dropped to the ground, arching my back defensively, an action that sent her fluttering backwards with a sound of something like ‘eep’ that stabbed at my sensitive hearing. I wasn’t familiar with that word, nor had I seen that defensive posture before, but I was certain they were deadly ones. I watched her wings, hooves, and the way her eyes peeked over them. She must be aiming for an attack! I knew it, Core was right! I wasn’t even going to survive a week in this town. I can’t fight here, the town will swarm me the second she calls for help! I began inching back towards the forest behind me. Her hooves slowly fell to the ground. She’s going to chase! My heart sank at the realization, and again I found my hooves frozen in place. This body is horrible! It doesn’t process emotions right at all! I shivered uncontrollably, an action I akined to the fear I was feeling. Changelings don’t shiver! I thought bitterly as she inched closer, reaching into her saddle bag for what I could only imagine to be an insidious weapon. I prepared to shape shift, knowing full well this body was useless for combat. How these weak pathetic creatures ever managed to overtake my hive I will never understand... I hesitated, waiting to see what preference she held in tools of destruction. The mare produced a small orange spike. How fitting... I snickered inwardly at the irony that she would pull out my own favored weapon of choice. I readied the useless wet hide to change back into my comfortable natural armor, and to shift both hooves into spikes. The spells formed swiftly in my mind as I prepared to attack. || Pause || “See! See! Bloodthirsty as a mosquito in heat! He’d kill ya as soon as look at ya!” Applejack’s voice raged through the channel. Mentally, I recoiled, ashamed of my actions. “No!” Fluttershy’s voice snapped assertively through the channel, cutting off all replies. “It is perfectly normal for an animal to defend itself! He thought I pulled out a weapon. He was scared, and felt trapped. Defending himself was a perfectly natural reaction…” Stunned silence. “Uhh...sugarcube? Are you actually defending this monster?” Applejack questioned in shock. “W-w-well...I uh…” Fluttershy’s confidence melted into nervous twitters. “Just continue! Please!” Twilight’s eye twitching somehow communicated over the channel. “Dreamy?” Pinkie cooed curiously when I didn’t answer. “Oh, right, sorry.” I stammered quickly. “I, uhm...just went silent. I didn’t want to insult anypony with my thoughts.” “Explain, please.” Twilight’s voice perked up, curiosity smothering her irritability. Applejacks words burst in. “Yes, explain! Holding back thoughts here is as bad as lyin’!” I stuttered, afraid to anger them any further. “S-Sorry! I’m sorry, it just hurt a little when Fluttershy called me an animal. Please forgive me.” “Oh, I am soo sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Shatter.” Fluttershy’s buttery voice soothed. “I just called ya a monster! Got nothin’ for it, and she calls you an animal and you go all to pieces? Ahm not buyin it!” “Oh, nonono, Applejack. You called me a monster out of misguided anger. I can forgive that. Fluttershy honestly akins me to an animal rather than an intelligent being.” Fluttershy’s voice fluttered over the channel. “No, oh my, how rude of me. I’m soo sorry I hurt your feelings. That was very insensitive.” “Oh puh-lease. Fluttershy, he’s manipulating you the same way he did Pinkie Pie. He’s playing the drama queen to get your sympathy.” I could sense Rarity rolling her eyes. “Well, it is all fascinating whether or not he is being manipulative.” Twilight’s curiosity gripped at my chest. “You are very focused in your examinations, Twilight.” I complimented, a nervous reaction. “Oh, thank you, and I will continue to be so. However, when addressing me directly, refer to me as Princess, changeling. I do not consider you a friend any longer.” Twilight’s words hit home. It was becoming harder to keep calm. I would have already lost it by now, had it not been for Pinkie’s continuous soothing coos in the back of my mind. Twilight continued, either ignoring or oblivious to my discomfort. “Rainbow Dash, you have been oddly quiet. Did you have anything to add before we continue?” “Pffttt…” Dash snickered. “A guard? Really S.D.?” She called me by my nickname, which was oddly comforting. “Have you even been listening?” Twilight barked at her. Pinkie cut them both off. “Please, Dashie, take this a little more seriously...for me?” After many long moments of awkward silence, I continued my story... < Play > I was ready to attack! Yet, I hesitated as something ‘creamy’ caught my senses. Instantly, my casting fizzled as a new sensation washed over me, and it was delicious. I stared at her in wonder. This pony, my enemy, was freely feeding me. She offered up a feast of tender caring love, and I caught myself drooling as my stomach grumbled. “Oooh, poor thing. You must be scared, lonely, and hungry after traveling through the Everfree forest.” The mare clicked her tongue at me, an action I found confusingly alluring as if it somehow added credibility to her words, and all of it was marinated in that sweet creamy love. The scent of the weapon she held also caught my attention. My stomach growled louder. “It’s ok, I won’t hurt you, I prom-mise. Go ahead...take a bite, it’s all for you.” Her voice was nervous, but soothing, carrying those delicious waves of smooth love that fed the changeling in me. However, there was another ravenous hunger that had taken root. One that demanded I devour that weapon! She gingerly set it on the ground in front of me and backed off. After gauging the distance, and how far she would have to jump for any sudden pounces, I fell into her obvious trap. I descended upon the defenseless morsel. My traitorous pony stomach driving me into a feeding frenzy as I chomped down upon it. Oh, it was soo good! The sweet crunchy little delicacy was beyond description as it slid across my tongue. I kept a watchful eye on the mare the entire time, but instead of the suspected attack, she only sat there giggling behind a hoof. Emboldened by her passiveness I prepared to thank her for the meal, determined to show some civility. However, the scent of more orange spikes caught my nose, and scrambled my brain. I bolted towards her, she fluttered and ‘meeped’ in surprise, but I barely took notice as my delicate nose located more of the tiny morsels in her saddle bags. I snuffled and snorted frantically at the bag, trying to figure out how it opened to get at the little treasures within. A tingle at the back of my mind reminded me of what I was doing. I froze in place, trying to take in the position I had just blindly thrust myself into. Slowly, I looked over to meet the gaze of the yellow mare, who was staring at me. Her eyes were wide, her teeth bared in a frown, and one wing extended above me as she stood statuesque on her two far hooves. The closer two legs were bent and raised defensively. It’s a trap! Terror flooded through me as I involuntarily let out a loud high pitched wail. Her jaw dropped as she assaulted me with an ear splitting attack. The two of us danced frantically, twitching from side to side, trying in vain to move in any direction as we screamed in each others faces. She closed her eyes, her hooves picking up speed as she tippy hoofed in place. I found myself copying her, my own body reacting of its own accord as sheer panic set in. Her pitch ascended higher and higher until it’s frequency slammed in through my receptors, and scrambled my brain. The resulting searing headache dropped me to the ground, yet she relentlessly continued to bore into my skull with that shrill screech. The last little bits I caught were of the yellow mare running off to get reinforcements as my vision greyed inwards from the edges. Well played, yellow pony… Well played... || Pause || I deflated as riotous laughter bit into me through the channel. Everypony was laughing at me. Even Pinkie. Well, Fluttershy wasn’t laughing loudly, though she did giggle a little. I guess there was that… “I’m sorry…” Fluttershy’s voice softly flitted over. “I didn’t mean to laugh at you. In fact I was really scared. You jumped at me so suddenly I just didn’t know what to do.” “Fluttershy, dear, would you please stop apologizing to him. Though his actions carry some comedic value, he will only feed off of your sentiments, and use them against us.” Rarity chided, having swiftly regained her composure. I could sense Pinkie’s anger rising, and I sent a reassuring hum through the line to her. “Ahh! What do you think you’re doin’?” Applejack screamed at me. “Ya’ain’t brainwashing me or anypony!” “Applejack!” Pinkie snapped at her. “that’s just how he shows affection! Thanks Dreamy, I love you too.” “Oh, gag me with a spoon,” Dash teased dramatically. “Come on! Get on with the comedy already. I’m getting bored over here.” “Yes, perhaps we should continue,” Twilight interjected into the line. “However, as a side note, I would like to know why you skipped the journey from your hive to Ponyville?” “Oh, simple. My travels across the Wastelands, and through the Everfree were quite harrowing. I didn’t want to upset Fluttershy any further,” I kindly replied. “Oh thank you, I really appreciate your concern in skipping over the scary parts.” Fluttershy’s words carried a twinge of her usual creamy love. A nice snack. “Well, that was kind of you, and I will commend your thoughtfulness. However, going forward, please refrain from leaving any gaps in your memory.” The others agreed emphatically with Twilight. I decided it best to continue my tale... < Play > The world slowly filtered back in, it’s burning light searing through my skull. I twitched to the side, throwing up a hoof to block it out. I could hear voices around me. Pony voices. “Aah!” Would this confounded body never cease making a fool out of me? I have no recollection of telling it to scream. “Aah!” Came a chorus of answers. “Hay! That ain’t no way for a pony to say hi!” Came a rather confusing, and hard to understand voice. I shook my head, my eyes starting to adjust to the blinding light of this land, and glanced around frantically. There were six ponies of various colors standing around me. The yellow one was in the background, still playing her peeking games. However, it was the purple one with the horn and wings which had my full attention. A princess! Oh, buzz me! I’m doomed! My jaw dropped, the extent of my failure to stay inconspicuous, and blend in, hit me. Horrified, I glanced over her entourage, my skilled and trained senses identifying each pony’s specialties. I hadn’t a chance. She had a full and diverse squad. A powerful, immaculate, and confident looking white unicorn mage. || Pause || Rarity giggled. “Oh my. Ehem… Apparently, perfection is universal. Even across species.” < Play > An athletic blue pegasus scout. Lithe and built for speed. || Pause || “Yeah pony! Nailed that first impression!” Dash snickered through the line. < Play > An orange earth pony with toned lithe muscles which rippled beneath her coat as she walked. A seasoned veteran warrior. || Pause || Applejack gasped. “Well, ah shucks now… If’n the enemy sees me like that, ahm doin’ somethin’ right!” < Play > A jittery energetic pink pony that hopped back and forth behind the group constantly. Hmm… That one must be the... || Pause || “Jester?” Pinkie blurted out. I held my breath. “Funnest first impression...ever!” < Play > And of course the yellow one, master of stealth and deception, who I could only guess was an assassin. || Pause || I mentally cringed as laughter filled the line again. “Maybe... from now on…” Fluttershy giggled at the silliness. “Maybe… I will be known as Twilight’s assertive assassin assistant?” The channels burst out into more laughter. Twilight spoke through the giggles. “I love alliteration!” While the others laughed at Fluttershy’s joke, I took note of how swiftly she had relaxed around me. Of course I didn’t hide these thoughts from the connection as I had promised. “Yes Shatter. I do like you. I love all animals…” She gasped. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say that...” She meeped. “Please, don’t hate me…” “It’s ok Fluttershy. I came to terms of your view of me earlier, and I will work on changing that impression later. I cannot alter your perception of what I am in a few minutes.” “No, but I really didn’t mean to call you an animal just now.” “You cannot lie over the channels, and it would take a fair amount of practice to guard your thoughts enough to prevent things like that from slipping.” I chuckled. “Believe me, no offense was taken.” I reveled in the love that poured from Fluttershy, and Pinkie at that moment. I made mental note that gentle understanding elicited such emotions. I became aware that I had naturally guarded such thoughts from the channel. While I felt bad for doing so, I thought it better to keep them to myself than share. I really didn’t want any more trouble than I already had. < Play > Next, putting all of the ponies together, I could only come to one conclusion. The Princess...is a powerful warrior mage! I felt a sense of awe and respect even through the terror that gripped me. || Pause || “W-w-what?” Twilight’s response was drowned out as the laughter redoubled. I could feel my face burning from embarrassment. I needed to move on before I cooked alive in my own carapace. < Play > “Hello, I am Twilight Sparkle. You’ve met Flutt…” She was cut off as the orange pony bumped her to the side. Well the orange ones dead! I gasped in disbelief. “Aww, Twilight cut the formalities.” The orange pony pointed a hoof at my chest. “Mah names Applejack! Good ta meet’cha!” I stared at the hoof pointed at me. My heart was near exploding as it pounded in my chest, my breath coming in shorter and faster bursts. Her words didn’t ‘feel’ threatening, but why was she threatening to touch me like this? My eyes darted from her hoof to her face and back, still wondering why Twilight hadn’t decapitated her yet. I decided it better not to associate with her just in case. Applejack’s brow wrinkled, a confusing unreadable expression hung on her features. The others stared at me. I think they are expecting something from me… If Applejack would stop distracting me with that confounding hoof, maybe I could figure it out! I reached out a foreleg slowly, mustering all of my courage, and fought back the panic quaking through my wings. Applejack smiled broadly as she moved her hoof forward. I batted at it, hesitantly. “Huh?” Applejacks face scrunched up. || Pause || “I remember that!” Applejack guffawed. “Didn’t know what’ta think!” < Play > I batted at it again, hoping to get my point across because my vocals, strained from terror, refused to do it for me. Applejack laughed, and moved the hoof closer. I slunk back, a spike of jittering fear wracking through my body. My hoof moved of its own accord, batting frantically at this pony who disrespectfully defies princesses. My other hoof reached up, and took hold of the hard wooden bed I was laying on, and hoisted me over the top. I rolled over the edge, falling to the ground, landing on my hooves with my back arched and my wings out. I growled in warning. || Pause || “Ehem...for clarification. The wooden bed is also known as a bench…” “Really Twi? Cause we couldn’t all figure that out?” Applejack teased, but Twilight ignored her. < Play > “That’s some disturbing pony right thar…” Applejack stared at me. They all whispered and chattered amongst themselves until the white one with a purple mane spoke above the rest. “Well really, that is no way for a pony to act. However, being that his actions are oddly catlike, do you suppose something could be wrong with him?” They all stood with their forehooves on the ‘bench,’ peering over it’s back at me. My growls were useless, I knew. I was outnumbered six to one in their territory. I was doomed for certain, but it didn’t stop me from throwing a few defiant hisses in for good measure. “Whoa…” The blue one, a pegasus, flapped over the wooden bench at me. I stumbled backwards frantically, tripped, and rolled onto my back. She was over me before I could recover, standing in a dominant pose. “He’s a wild pony! I read about these in one of the Daring Doo novels! Watch!” “No, wait! Dash those are only fict…” Twilight began to protest, but apparently thought better of it with an exasperated sigh. Dash’s hoof shot out, I froze in panic, my eyes squinted shut, it was far too late to shapeshift in time! The killing blow landed into my stomach…and began rubbing back and forth. I was in too much shock to do anything other than lay there, and stare at her, waiting for my horrible demise. “Rainbow Dash! How terribly rude and...” The white one’s voice sounded almost as shocked as I was. “Awkward?” Twilight Sparkle’s words registered in my brain, and suddenly I wasn’t afraid anymore. My cheeks flushed crimson, and my wings burned mercilessly. Overall I was hit by a wave of nausea from the combination of embarrassment, and having my empty stomach jiggled. “Wait! Wait for it! Watch the leg!” Rainbow Dash shouted. My lips moved to protest, but I was abruptly cut off by a sudden sensation that warmed its way through my belly and out one of my legs. I watched in rapt fascination as the leg began swiftly kicking. “See! See!” Dash rubbed faster, subsequently my leg twitched into a kicking blurr. “This is so awesome! Can I keep him?” “Darling, I hate to break this to you, but any stallion will react in such a way if his belly is rubbed…” The white one rolled her eyes. “Eeyup!” Applejack shouted out, and the rest of them joined her in laughter at some kind of inside pony joke. || Pause || Applejack’s laughter busted through the channel. “Hahaha!! It’s still funny when I do it to him!” < Play > I stared at the mares nervously as they analysed me. They are happy? They must not have discovered me yet... The fear ebbed out of my body. Despite being far from relaxed, I was starting to enjoy this odd custom of belly rubbing, no matter how demeaning it may be. “Then how do you explain why he can’t talk? Wild ponies can’t speak…” Dash glared back indignantly. Nows my chance! “I-I-I-I ca-a-a-an t-t-t-talk,” I stuttered through the jiggling goodness of the belly rubs. “Hay!” Dash gasped. “You’re a fake!” My body turned to stone. My mind raced through the whole scenario picking over the only three words I had spoken since I arrived in this town. Three words! An odd custom of belly rubbing and three innocent words, and this blue one called Dash has already figured me out! This Rainbow Dash is a genius! I stared at her, my jaw dropped in awe of her unbelievable mental prowess. She was obviously fit to be included in a princesses entourage. Despite my sudden peril, curiosity about the other ponies amazing abilities gnawed at me. || Pause || “Wait? Dash? Genius?” Twilight gasped in a rare interruption. “Hay! You callin’ me stupid?” Dash growled indignantly. “For the record, I wasn’t gonna say nothin!” Applejack stifled a giggle. “No! Of course not Rainbow Dash… It’s just…” Twilight stumbled over her words. “You did kinda mistake him for a wild pony based off of a fiction book. Then, you tried to subdue him using bellyrubs.” “Hello! Those bellyrubs worked, didn’t they?” Dash shot back. “Pony ‘subdued!’” Rarity interjected into the conversation in an attempt to prevent any further argument. “Darling, I believe what Twilight ‘meant’ to say is that your faux pas’ in this matter hardly warrant the title of genius, and she was confused as to how he came to that conclusion.” “Oh, well. It’s fine then… We’re cool...as long as noponies calling me stupid!” Dash’s confusion at Rarity’s wording clear in the tone of her response. I jumped in on impulse, wanting to smooth things over to keep the peace. “The mistake was on my part. If anypony’s intelligence is lacking it would be my own.” Applejack sneered, “anypony’s? That’s a laugh! You aren’t a pony, or were you so good at fibbin you fooled yourself?” “Applejack!” Pinkie snapped, pain wrapped around her words seared through the channels. “Please, stop being such a meanie…” I could tell she was crying again, the tears soaking through her words. “Technically he isn’t a pony,” Twilight noted. “However, please try to refrain from saying anything to unnecessary. We need to remember that Shatter’s view is skewed by his lack of knowledge of our culture, and the inability to understand our social interactions at this point.” “Twilight? Do you honestly believe all of this?” Rarity gasped. “For all we know he could have planned this whole story to save himself. There is no telling how much of what we are seeing is true or complete fabrication.” “It’s all true. One cannot directly lie over the channels. If one tries, then the truth will always undertone the lie, making it easy to pick out.” I pointed out matter of factly. “Fascinating!” Twilight gasped excitedly. “Can you demonstrate for us?” “Uhm… Yes, I’d be glad too. I will attempt to lie, though the concept is foreign to me.” “Well that there’s a flat out lie! You’ve been lying to us for days!” Applejack growled. “An I didn’t hear no underlies of truth or nothin’!” “I see…” I thought for a moment. “It doesn’t matter what I say lately, you won’t believe it. So, Rarity, would you please try to prove me wrong?” “Gladly! What did you have in mind?” “Earlier you expressed some distaste over my coat and mane, correct?” “Yes, they aren’t the best of colors, Shatter. You could have done far better with the tones in my opinion.” “Excellent, would you attempt to compliment them then? Try to make it obvious, and sound excited over my color choices.” Rarity thought in silence for a moment. “Oh! Darling/’vile fiend’, your mane is absolutely fabulous/disastrous! I have always admired/’wanted to shave’ that messy bedmane style of yours.” Her words, while normally convincing, were covered over by her true thoughts, the whole sentence coming through the channels as garbled. The ensuing silence spoke wonders in my favor, so I continued... < Play > “Pfftt… You’re no wild pony…” Dash rolled her eyes at me, and turned to walk away. Then the pink one stepped forward with flare. “Well if he isn’t wild wild, then maybe he’s party wild! Oh! Right, I’m Pinkie Pie! And welcome to Ponyville!” I sat up in panicked shock as she pulled out a cannon… A CANNON!! I was to be executed by cannon? My mind realed, these ponies are psychotic! I jumped up, terror flooding my limbs with adrenaline, only to be struck by a vicious pain stabbing into my back as the wound from the battle reminded me my days were limited. I reflexively threw my forelegs wide as my muscles cramped mercilessly in response to the deep crippling agony that flooded through my wings. “Hugs? Friendship ‘accepted!’” Pinkie launched at me, missiling through the air in a burst of insidious colorful strings and bits of paper. A celebration of my death to be sure. I closed my eyes, resigning myself to a fools fate. I know nothing about these creatures, their ways, or their amazing abilities. I had been here for less than a day, and I had met a master of stealth and deception, a genius, a warrior princess, and a pink blood thirsty psychopathic jester. || Pause || “Hay...” Pinkie yipped sadly. “Sorry Pinkie... I was scared, and didn’t know…” < Play > I had experienced more in this one day than my whole life at the hive. I regretted nothing. Pinkie slammed into me, wrapping her forelegs around my neck, ready to snap my neck. How merciful, I mused sarcastically. I could feel her squeezing the life slowly out of me, her hooves tightening inch by agonizing inch. Then it hit me. My head reeled as a wall of emotions blasted through my body, radiating in from every limb to ball up in my chest. I wasn’t sure if it was the mare or her overwhelming love that lifted my hooves off the ground. I had no recollection of how long we hung in the air. In whatever moments, hours, or days we flew, the flavor of that hug changed my life forever... > Ch2-1: A New Home > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I had woken up earlier on Fluttershy’s couch to the gaze of that alicorn, staring curiously at me. Twilight had been drilling me for hours now, and though it was some comfort that most of her entourage had left, I was still tense from being trapped and interrogated inside an assassins home cave by a pony princess. However, Fluttershy was rubbing my shoulders in a very calming and endearing fashion, and making sure my changeling cravings never went unsated. All of which was extremely confusing. Everything considered, it was far from the brutality I would have expected from warrior ponies finding a trespasser on their grounds. Who knew they would use love tactics to extract information from their captives? Being impressed didn’t make it any less difficult dancing around Twilight’s questions without getting lost in my own thoughts. Luckily, that blue genius wasn’t around, but I still had to have tact, and plan my answers carefully. I hadn’t confirmed the princess’ own level of intelligence yet. So I was flying blind, but they couldn't find out my changeling heritage under any circumstances. Of course, I had taken extra care not to tell them that. The sound of Twilight clearing her throat snapped me out of my thoughts. My wings agitated in nervous anticipation as she finished mulling over my story, and began to recap. “So let me get this straight. Your name is Shattered Dreams.” Twilight eyed me up and down. “You grew up in the badlands, were raised by changelings, and actually lived in a hive with them?” I nodded, proud of her simplified synopsis of my life that elegantly skirted the truth of what I was. Though, as she continued, a growing queezy apprehension spread through my new pony stomach. I really should try to figure out if this body could live without it. || Pause || “No, Mr. Dreams. I assure you, you should keep your stomach to, uhm, well...to survive.” Fluttershy’s smiling voice twanged at my pride as little snickers erupted across the channel. “Thank you, Fluttershy, I kinda figured that out though…” “Oh! Did you starve?” Pinkie screamed in my ear. “I can’t imagine that felt good!” I flinched, throwing all of my willpower into not breaking the connection by dropping my ears. “Of course not, Pinkie, I wouldn’t be alive.” “Then how did…” I cut her off quickly before it got too far out of hoof. “Twilight taught me anatomy!” “Liar! No she didn’t! Cause I taught...” Applejack caught herself. “Applejack, I’m impressed!” Twilight beamed through the lines. “I hope you used a simple book. He gets a little confused sometimes without pictures since he can’t read well yet.” “Thank you, Princess, for smoothing over the misunderstanding for me, but she didn’t need any books. Her lessons were hooves on.” “Shut up Shatter…” Applejack grumbled. Stunned silence, except for Twilight’s ever present scribbling in the background. Maybe it wasn’t smoothed over! I almost panicked. I had to do something, quick! I missed the foreleg tightening around my neck as I continued quickly, trying not to be ungrateful. “Oh, but, I really did enjoy the more hooves on learning! Don’t get me wrong. Twilight’s explanations were very thorough and informative, but yours were valuable experience.” “Somepony please shut it up.” Applejack was getting madder. “Hooves on experience!?” Dash blurted out, completely dumbfounded. “Applejack, you have some splainin’ ta do!” “Dash! I sound nothin’ like that...” Applejack grumbled. Rarity whined into the channel. “Yes, please explain to us in the proper accent, dear, what is he going on about?” Pinkie’s forelegs tightened their hug. I smiled, snuggling down. She was so protective. “It’s nothin’/somethin’, I mean it’s not like we did anythin’...much. It ‘didn’t mean nothin’’/’meant a whole heap of somethin’’ to me!” Applejack stuttered, grasping for words as the channel pulled the truth out of her. “Ah, dern’ this stupid truth speakin’! Shatter, next time I tell ya to keep yer yap shut, keep yer yap shut!” Pinkie was being really really protective, her legs hugging me ever tighter. She must be worried about where this was going. Rarity burst in. “Applejack, what are you saying!? Just how meaningful are we talking about?” “Of course her lessons were very meaningful, as much so as Twilight’s or Flurtashees...” The last word was strangled. I would have continued, but Pinkie’s forelegs were making it difficult to breath. “Yeah, A.J., come on and spill some juicy details! You suck at lying anyway, so just give it up. You know, like you did to S.D. over there.” Dash snickered as Rarity gasped in disgust. “Hay, ah did not just ‘give it up’! I gotta mighty heavy tail on me, it don’t lift easy! He just, and I, and there was…” Applejack sighed, giving in. “Aww shucks, it all happened when we was buckin’...” “Yeah it did!” Dash cut her off, followed by riotous laughter. Can’t breath! “Pinkie!?” I inquired to no avail. “Apples! Buckin’ apples you nit!” “Can we please get back to the story?” Twilight had been growing steadily more impatient. “I really don’t see this going anywhere.” “Hay S.D., tell Twilight, how many Apples did you buck that day? I know it was at least six, three for each flank!” Dash redoubled in her laughter. “Rainbow Dash! Stop it this instant…” Rarity chided. “I can’t!” Dash blurted out. “I wish I could…” “Why, I’m flattered R.D., couldn’t get through school so ya learn’ta count from starin’ at mah flank. Kinda thought you swung that way.” “Hay!” Dash barked back. Applejack snickered. “Look. We didn’t/couldn’t get too far! Alright!? Just drop it, it’s over with. I ain’t interested in no changeling anyhow.” The others pressed on, but Pinkie stayed silent as the rest of the argument faded from my mind. I tapped and pulled frantically at her forelegs, though I have no recollection of exactly when I passed out. When I came to, the argument had ended. Everypony agreed to let it drop until the actual scene of that day played out in my story. Pinkie seemed satisfied with that, and her touch was much softer. The only one still confused on the whole matter was myself. I wondered, if I asked about it, would Pinkie strangle me again? “Yes, yes I will…silly.” Pinkie chirped merrily, reading my thoughts through the channel. Though her voice held an icy chill to it. “And the only pony allowed to teach you anatomy from now on is me.” “Ah, well that answers that.” “Pinkie promise…” “I Pinkie promise!” I went through the motions. “Yeouch!” Pinkie giggled. “Hoof in the eye?” “Yeah… I can’t see from the spell, and I kinda...” “Hah! See!” Twilight barked out. “I am not the only one!” Dash burst in. “Twilight, he’s blind! You do it in broad daylight.” Rarity cut them both off, skillfully avoiding another argument. “Speaking of blindness, Twilight dear, can we break for tea? I am overdue to straighten my mane.” “Rarity, nopony can see you, we’re all blind from the spell.” Applejack stated matter of factly. “Applejack, sophistication isn’t about what is apparent, but what may be apparent.” Rarity huffed. “Being blind is no excuse not to be fabulous. What if somepony were to walk in? Where...” I shook the whole incident from my mind, blocking out the ensuing argument, and continued my story. < Play > Twilight shifted, her mane looking a bit frazzled as she continued her recap on my life. “Then after surviving countless fights with the harsh fauna native to that area, your family was slaughtered by ponies!?” She raised an eyebrow. “Finally, you escaped from the hive through the Everfree forest all alone to come here?” I relaxed a little. “Yes! You are a very good listener. I know my history must sound odd to you.” “Odd?” She stared at me with an incomprehensible look. “Odd!?” I cringed with an awkward nervous grin, the tone of her voice hitting me like a brick labeled ‘derp’. Her head fell to the side, her ears flopping over, an eye twitching ever so slightly. “That’s not quite the description I would use. Perhaps… unique. Wait, considering your unique past, do you even know how to pony?” I siezed up, terrified and a bit too confused to answer. She really knew how to ask the right questions in just the right ways! || Pause || “Dang it Rarity. Just, dern yer sophistimacation, and let’s get on with this.” Applejack’s voice drawled sarcastically through the lines as she switched targets. “So, let me get this straight, Twilight. This here vermit told you his life story…” Rarity cut her off. “Practically screamed ‘I’m a changeling’ at you…” “And you totally derped it!?” Dash finished, barely able to talk through her laughter. “Twilight! It’s soo your fault that Applejack got taken advantage of!” “We ain’t talkin’ bout that no more, we had’a deal!” “Couldn’t help it!” Dash snickered. “You were just too ripe for the picking!” “Girls!” Rarity barked at them. “Try to show a little etiquette Rainbow Dash. Please?” She cleared her throat as they calmed down. “So, Twilight, the point is still valid, however rudely it was delivered. What exactly did you think of his story? Also, asking somepony if they know how to pony is a bit awkward, uhm, no offense darling, but awkward even for you.” Twilight’s words dripped with embarrassment. “Hay! I was in shock! And-and I was taking mental notes without my pad! It’s not like he came out, and said he was a changeling or anything. Of course I thought it was odd. The whole story was odd, I didn’t know what to think.” She paused. “Actually, that whole encounter gets a lot weirder.” It made me a little happy that I wasn’t the only one confused in that first encounter. I enjoyed hearing the thoughts of my frie… the ponies I had first met. A wave of sadness settled on my shoulders. I really wanted them back. I wished Pinkie would talk more. Her thoughts were the ones I really wanted to hear, but she was too busy licking my neck at the moment. Which I easily settled for instead. I could almost taste the anticipation in the room as I continued, reconnecting my private thoughts back into the channel, back into judgement. < Play > Twilight shook her head, and stood. “Fluttershy, do you have a quill and some paper? I really need to take some notes.” She looked back at me. “You aren’t planning on leaving anytime soon are you? We need to continue this discussion in more detail.” Fluttershy stood. “Oh, why uhm… maybe? If the mouse family hasn’t chewed them up. It is their nesting season, but I just bought some earlier today, so it may be still in my desk.” Her buttery voice floated through the room as she made her way to the desk off to the side. “Please do hurry though, I am sure Mr. Dreams is getting very hungry. I’ll need to feed him soon.” “No, I didn’t plan on leaving anytime soon, but I might now since you are asking questions that are very likely to lead to my untimely demise.” I couldn’t stop baring my teeth, and chuckling. “I can’t stop baring my fangs in a threatening posture, please excuse my rudeness. Also, I’m having difficulty keeping my thoughts to myself.” Twilight’s face scrunched up. “Threatening posture? You mean the grin? Wait…fangs?” Fluttershy returned with some paper, and a quill for Twilight. “Uhm, I really think we should stop now. Mr. Dreams is getting very nervous.” She hoofed the paper and quill off to her friend, and trotted over behind me to scratch an ear. I marveled at the calming effect it had, even though my hind hoof thumping uncontrollably against couch was quite embarrassing. “That’s a good boy Meester Dweams.” Heat spread through my muzzle, and cheeks. Twilight stared in wide eyed silence. The notepad and quill she had taken from Fluttershy flopped to the floor. I couldn’t fathom why Fluttershy could calm me down so well, but I was very grateful for it. I could look past the belittling tone, and the hoof thumping. “So, Mr. Dreams, what would you like to eat tonight?” Fluttershy nuzzled my cheek with a giggle, throwing her forelegs around my shoulders. “I can make you a nice salad, or if you are really hungry, maybe I can put a big sweet bean loaf in the oven. I have some fresh clover in the garden too.” I looked back at Twilight, keeping Fluttershy’s words in the back of my mind as I struggled to keep up. “I...I-I, on second thought, might prefer to stay around Ponyville for quite some time. There seems to be an ample amount of food here. With your permission of course.” Fluttershy’s creamy warm love was seeping in through my fur, balling up in my chest, and leaving me a little dizzy. “I think you fed me enough, uhm...Fluttershy. I’m not sure I can handle much more.” Fluttershy gasped, a hoof flying to her lips. “Oh, you poor thing. If one carrot keeps you full for a whole day…” She leaned in close, almost muzzle to muzzle, her look shifted, and I noted the features as her voice grew slightly angry. “You tell me the truth. Did those changelings feed you enough?” “Oh yes, of course, I did earn my share of the love after all.” I looked back and forth between her eyes, not sure which one to focus on this close up. “Love? They made you earn love?” Fluttershy gasped. “Oh my, I hope they weren’t m-m-mean to you?” Tears formed at the corner of her eyes. “They didn’t force you to work too hard...did they?” “Force? No, I simply worked for survival like the rest of my family.” I gave her a curious look. Fluttershy gasped. “I can’t even imagine what you went through. Did they at least let you rest?” “Of course, they wouldn’t want us to die. We naturally enjoyed a sleep cycle that lasted one quarter of the day.” I smiled awkwardly. “Were there days you didn’t have to work?” “What!? Buzz no! That’s careless. If I didn’t do my job, too many might die from the consequences!” I shoved the horror of the thought aside. “Well, though now and then somebuggy would cover my shift so I could cheer up our princess.” I beamed with pride. “We grew up together, and I was her favorite pillow!” Tears flowed down Fluttershy’s cheeks. “That’s terrible! I… it’s… so sad…” She broke down, crying softly on my shoulder with little squeaky sobs. “How can you be proud of that?” Twilight’s brow furrowed together. I was a little confused by Fluttershy’s sudden mood change. “I was thankful for what I had, and I was lucky to be part of such a good strong hive.” I tried to sound reassuring. “You’re so innocent!” Fluttershy bawled. “Twilight, we have to give him a good life here in Ponyville! Can we keep him? Please?” “Fluttershy? I, uhm… maybe?” Twilight shook her head, rubbing her temples with her hooves. “It’s not like he’s some animal we found on the side of the road…” || Pause || Rarity interrupted gently. “Fluttershy, dear, if you don’t mind my asking, what had gotten into you?” “Oh, well I was really excited.” Fluttershy paused for a moment. “It was like finding a poor defenseless and abused animal all alone with nowhere to live, and nopony to take care of him. I just couldn’t help myself.” “Well, now we know what floats Fluttershy’s wings.” Dash snickered. “Applejack, Pinkie, and Fluttershy? Dang Shatter, everypony wants a piece of changeling action!” “Dash!” They all snapped at her. Even Pinkie joined in on that one. In fact, I think even I had whispered a word of reprisal, but I wasn’t sure. The pony’s volume behind me had scrambled my brains. Dash mentally recoiled. “I can’t help it! It’s like this channel is sucking out my every thought!” I ignored the rest of the argument, my carapace heating up to very uncomfortable levels. I’d never considered that anypony other than Pinkie may actually be romantically interested in me. I mean, it’s not like I had detected any change in love flavors at least. Then after careful consideration, I interrupted the chatter. “I do not believe Fluttershy likes me in that way.” “See… Mr. Dreams believes me. I do love him, but as a very close friend. Though, he has become part of my family now.” She sounded very sad. “I’m so afraid of losing him.” “Not if I can help it!” Pinkie chirped. “We just have to use Dreamy’s adorableness to beat the sillycernes out of the rest of our friends!” I laughed. “Pinkie, your wordplay is one of the many things I have come to crave about you. However, I can support what I said with fact. Fluttershy’s flavor is sweet, but very mild and warm. It does not taste like she is in love with me. Applejack’s love…” “Vermit, shut it or I’ma buck you into next tuesday!” “Yeah! Can we watch!?” Dash barked out, desperately trying to hold her mental laughter in. I cut off the rest of them before the arguing could restart. “...is also different! I do not believe Applejack is in love with me. As for Rainbow Dash…” “What!? Nothing happened that night!” Dash screeched. “Don’t drag me into…” “Oh, no! We’re gonna hear everythin’ that vermits gotta say. Come on Shatter, tell us where the colorful pony touched you!” “Applejack!” Rarity and Twilight chided. “Oh, my…” Fluttershy meeped. “Dash how could you take advantage of Mr. Dreams like that?” “Hay! You didn’t turn on Applejack earlier!” Dash shot back, hurt in her voice. “Applejack is responsible enough to keep her hooves to herself.” Fluttershy stated flatly. “Oh my, why would I think that! I am so sorry, Dash.” Applejack barked out a laugh. “Hah! See that R.D. you got nothin’ on me!” Pinkie whispered in my ear. “What did Dashie taste like?” “She’s confusing.” I leaned back, whispering quietly off the channels. “She seems to love me only when she’s drunk… or when I’m drunk, I can’t figure it out just yet because we are always drunk at the same time.” “But, you didn’t sleep with any of them, right?” She sounded a little worried. “It could get really sticky for all of us if you did that…” “Hmm? I’ve slept with everypony here except Rarity. Don’t you remember the picnic?” “I remember lots of picnics, but definitely not that kind of picnic!” Pinkie screamed, confusion thick in her voice. “And I know I would remember. I would have taken pictures!” “What, dear?” Rarity asked, breathing heavily after joining a heated argument that had sparked between Dash and Applejack. The argument died down, Dash squeezing in a couple whispered last words. “Did not…” Even Twilight’s incessant scribbling had gone silent. Pinkie blurted out. “Everypony went on an erotic picnic with Dreamy, and I wasn’t invited!?” Stunned silence... “What!?” They all screamed back. I balked. “Parfait, I suppose that’s one way to get their attention.” “Dreamy said you’ve all slept with him! On a picnic!” Again silence… “Pinkie, you were there too, though I’m not quite sure I would have defined that particular outing as erotic…” Pinkie stammered. “Now you aren’t making any sense! I speak nonsensical, and this isn’t translating through any of my redicunaries!” I giggled uncontrollably. “Pinkie, the words.” I tried to control it “Well, for one, I never slept with that filthy thing.” Rarity huffed. “True, you weren’t there. I haven’t slept with you, Rarity.” I smiled, stifling another giggle. “Though I would have liked to. You look quite comfy, though so far, besides Pinkie, Twilight is my favorite.” “You filthy animal… wait…” Rarity paused, and the others joined her on que. “What!?” “Twilight! How could you!?” Pinkie yelled. “Fluttershy and Applejack I could understand, but you and Dashie knew I liked Dreamy! I’m very disappointed in both of you…” She trailed off with a pouty huff. “I really didn’t think it would be that big of a deal… Redicunaries…” I snorted, giggling a bit more. “I-I-I have no idea what he is talking about!” Twilight stammered, panic in her voice. “Alright! I admit it! I have no idea what happened that night.” Dash whined. “Pinkie I’m so sorry, I was soo drunk. I have no clue what we did.” “Oh, I know… I could recount if you wish.” I smiled, happy to be helpful. “No!” Dash blurted out in response. “Don’t you dare S.D.!” “Alright, alright… We just slept together, I don’t see the big deal…” I was thoroughly confused. “Twilight? Don’t you remember all those nights we studied, and slept together on the bean bags I brought over?” Dash laughed. “Hah! I introduced him to bean bags! Looks like awesomeness is contagious.” She groaned. “I really wish I could focus right now…” “Now is not the time, Rainbow Dash.” Rarity chided. “I know that!” Dash snapped, irritation clear in her voice. “Anyway, yes, those bean bags were very comfortable, but all we did was fall asleep in them.” Twilight sounded desperate. “Pinkie, I would Pinkie promise, I swear it.” Pinkie growled. “Shatter? Twilight would never break a Pinkie promise!” “Neither would I, Parfait, but anyway, she just admitted to it. She said we fell asleep together in the bean bag chairs just like we all fell asleep on the picnic.” I smiled. “The sun was very warm that day, and there was quite a bit of food.” “Uhm, Shatter, do you mean to tell me that sleeping with is defined as falling asleep with?” Twilight inquired. “Well, yes… I think the meaning is implied within the saying, isn’t it? Not like I ran it through Pinkies redicunary.” I lost it, laughing out loud in and out of the channel. Even Pinkie groaned in response. “Dern Shatter, should’a known…” “Hah! Only S.D.!” “An understandable mistake given his background.” “Oh, that is just soo cute Meester Dweams… Oh dear, sorry.” “Phew, for a minute there, I thought somepony was lying to me. I knew there had to be a good reason!” “Uhf… There are far better things I could pretend to be doing right now than teaching a bug proper social fundamentals. Can we get on with this, please?” Pinkie grumbled to herself, and resumed her grooming of my carapace. I continued my story... < Play > Twilight inched forward, her voice tinged with surprise. “Shattered Dreams, how many other ponies were there at the hive?” “None, there were no ponies at my hive.” || Pause || I hesitated, and decided it best to omit the thoughts that accompanied that statement. “Shatter? Are you having difficulties?” Twilight inquired. “Not at all, I am deciding how exactly to recall this part.” “How about the whole truth, and gettin’ on with nothin’ but the truth?” Applejack growled at me. “I have no intention of lying, but I will not share information that puts my hive in jeopardy.” I stated flatly. “Some information you should not know.” There was a momentary uproar until Pinkie screamed. “Quiet!” They did so, and after my head stopped ringing I perked my ears slightly back, eager to hear what she had to say. “I thought we were here to prove he loved me, not force secrets of his family out of him...” I could almost hear the pouty lip. I smiled as everypony grudgingly calmed down. I whispered. “Thank you…” “You’re welcome, Dreamy.” Her voice turned dead serious. “However, you would tell me if they were harming innocent ponies, right?” I paused, fighting against an internal conflict. “I… I don’t know how to answer that. I-It’s, uhm… very complicated.” Twilight voice held a sneaky edge to it. “Can you share with us, without betraying your hive, what exactly this information pertains to?” “Uhm…” I thought for a moment. “It’s about where nymphs, changeling foals, come from.” “Oh dear Celestia! Tell me the ponies are consenting!” Twilight blurted out. Rarity choked back a sob. “Twilight, what pony would ever consent to such a thing?” “Oh, I don’t know… me?” Pinkie shot back. “I’d have his foals!” “Aww, thanks, Pinkie! That means a lot to me. Oh, and either they are consenting, or it generally doesn’t matter. Most of them are near death when they arrive at the hives.” I gritted my teeth. “And I shouldn’t have shared that.” Of the many angry, and disgusted questions that ensued, I answered but one. Twilight picked her words very carefully. “These ponies that were near death, can you tell us who harmed them?” Rarity and Applejack interrupted me before I could speak, stating how obvious the answer should be. However, Twilight shushed them, and hung on my reply. “They did it to themselves.” “The ponies hurt themselves?” She asked in disbelief. “Yes… For uhm, many reasons, our primary targets are depressed, socially shut in, or suicidal ponies.” “Can you tell us anything more than that?” “No, forgive me. In closing on this subject, I will warn you. Some truths are better left unknown if you want to sleep at night.” My breath caught in my chest. I felt dizzy and a bit queasy. “There are some truths you cannot unlearn no matter how badly you wish to erase them from memory. I am not proud of this aspect of my species. As for myself, and all changelings, our birth is something we must eventually come to terms with. Some, or rather most lose their sanity, and become mindless drones. Please, don’t ask any more.” My apprehension must have communicated loud and clear, because nopony ventured forth with new questions. Pinkie nuzzled my mane, and I took a deep cleansing sigh. Then, I quickly continued my tale. If for no other reason, to clear the horror of my own birth from my mind. < Play > “But you said your family was slaughtered by ponies before you left?” Twilight blinked at me. “Your story isn’t matching up.” “What? They were slaughtered. Before I left I was standing in a field of my fallen family.” I looked at Fluttershy, who began wailing into my shoulder, and then back to Twilight, not sure what to do. “Uhm… i-is this normal for ponies?” I looked back at Fluttershy, my hooves spread wide in confusion, not sure if I should touch her. “Wait, so who exactly was your family then?” Twilight shook her head, clearly unable to make sense of my clear and simplified story. “The changelings of course...who else would I be talking about!?” I smiled, happy with my assessment that Twilight was a warlord. Warlords weren’t often that smart, and obviously wouldn’t need a genius in their employ if they were. “Fascinating…” Twilight murmured, a slightly disturbing glint in her eyes. She scribbled across her notepad, the quil moving in a blur. || Pause || I could sense Twilight’s irritation through the channels. She really was struggling to keep her cool. I kinda felt bad. “Twilig…” I remembered her earlier admonishment. She had made it clear we were no longer friends. I gritted my teeth, and fought to keep the sadness from my voice. “Princess, I really think you are smart now. I was just confused…” “Confused?” The scribbling stopped. “That doesn’t do it justice! First you accuse me of being some bloodthirsty warlord, then you constantly think I’m out to kill you, and to top it off you think I’m an idiot, all while comparing me to the genius Rainbow Dash.” Twilight let out a rough exasperated sigh. “Hay! I thought we were being adjective here!” Dash growled at her. I groaned in embarrassment. “Princess, I didn’t know… I am so sorry. So, so sorry.” < Play > Twilight’s eyes constantly darted between myself and Fluttershy. “Where did you say you would be sleeping again?” I shrugged off Fluttershy’s tears as nothing unusual. I figured if the princess doesn’t reprimand her, then who am I to judge? However, I still had no clue where to put my hooves. “Sleeping? I have that all planned out. I will dig a hole just inside the Everfree forest. I already scouted a nice spot that the timber wolves won't notice.” “Oh, good. Well then, if you will excuse me, I need to get…” Twilight had extended her hoof towards me, much in the same manner Applejack had. “Wait, what!?” Her other foreleg gave out, and she fell onto the floor dropping her notepad and quill again. She recovered instantly, popping back up, her hair frizzing even more. “Are you crazy!?” I recoiled from her sudden outburst, adrenaline dumped into my system as I shook my head. One of Fluttershy’s forelegs slipped down, and around one of mine, her crying getting slightly louder. She tightened her grip. I pulled away slightly, but found myself very securely fastened to the clingy pony. “Shh… shhh.” Fluttershy spoke between sobs. “Twilight, please! Calm down. You’re scaring Mr. Drea-heams. He’s been through so much, and-” She turned to me her voice suddenly clearing up mid sob, her eyes refocusing with purpose. “-it’s far too dangerous to sleep in the Everfree.” Fluttershy nuzzled my neck gently. “You can stay here. I have a cozy little corner in the basement that the other animals aren’t using.” My eyes widened. “Oh, I get it. Crying is a calming tactic ponies must use to…” “You do! I knew it, you actually think you are a changeling!” Twilight looked at me, eyes wide with her own revelation. “The way you reference ponies as a separate species!” I’d been caught! I’m doomed! I couldn’t move, my body froze, shivering from the sudden terror that turned my limbs to stone. Fluttershy burst back into tears. “Twilight, please, calm down!” “Really, Fluttershy, uhm...the crying is not helping anymore.” My breathing picked up to near hyperventilation. Twilight turned abruptly, staring at Fluttershy with the same look she had given me, and then yelled out. “Spike! Where is that dragon?” “Eeeyigh! Okay! Im sorry, I’m a changeling! Forgive me!” I shuddered. “Execution by being impaled upon a spike, and fed to a dragon is a bit much don’t you think!?” I wrung my hooves, suddenly too exhausted from the chaos of the day to think clearly. “You ponies are crazy. If you’re going to kill me just get it over with, and stop playing with me!” || Pause || “Wow! He really did. You just came right out an’ said it plain as day!” Applejack voiced what was on everypony’s minds. “Well, I guess ya don’t get much more honest than that.” “Told you! You can always trust Dreamy to be honest.” Pinkie giggled. < Play > Twilight’s head snapped back, eyes growing wide, brow furrowing together, and her voice jumped up an octave. “Relax, nopony is going to harm you. Besides, I have way too many questions to ask!” Her voice jumped up even higher, adding in a giddy little squeal at the end. || Pause || “An’ that’s our princess…” Applejack giggled. Dash guffawed. “Twilight! You totally ignored him like a boss!” “Hay! I was a little bit distracted at that moment. Besides, I had already come to the conclusion that he believed he was a changeling. Why would him admitting it make any difference?” “That I can imagine, but Fluttershy, dear, what were your thoughts at that moment?” Rarity inquired. “Oh, I was very very distraught.” Fluttershy intoned sadly. “Let me fill in the blanks, Fluttershy.” I buzzed happily. Pinkie giggled behind me as my wings tickled her tummy. She resumed her licking. < Play > “It’s soo sad! Mr. Dreams was abu-hu-hused…and now he thinks he’s a changeling!” Fluttershy’s breath caught in her throat, the intensity of the next sob building behind tightly shut eyes. “I know! Isn’t it great!?” Twilight danced in place with, guessing by the flavor of it, elation. “Uhm…” I hesitated, wondering if I had misread the situation. “I was certain you were going to execute me many times earlier today. Though I have to admit, before I passed out and woke up here, the pink one you call Pinkie has by far the most delicious personality I have ever had the pleasure of being strangled by. If you do decide to kill me, I would prefer her methods again.” || Pause || “Aww…” Pinkie continued licking, her tongue making it to my shoulder. The area around my head was beginning to dry. “That’s sweet.” I wondered if this was a bathing ritual. “No silly, you just taste like strawberry frosting!” She chirped. “Uhh… we can’t see you two over there because of the spell. What is Pinkie doing to you.” Twilight inquired. “Well she’s…” “Nothing!” Pinkie giggled. “Nothing at all.” “Actually…” “Shhh!” “Uh…” “Zippit!” “But…” “Shooshy!” “Why?” “Because I’ll stop doing it, silly buggy.” She giggled some more as she continued her covert licking. “Well I wouldn’t want that…” I thrummed happily, ignoring the demands of the others as I went to continue my story. Until it hit me. I caught the thought before it could escape, and shut off the connection to everypony but Pinkie. “Pinkie, you just lied!” “Hmm?” Lick, lick… “You just lied through the channel, you can’t do that!” “Oh, come on, it was just a little one, and I was only teasing.” She giggled. Lick… “No I mean it’s supposed to be impossible. You aren’t even supposed to be able to bend the truth!” “Silly Dreamy, we all have our talents, and right now yours is being covered in sweet sugary frosting.” Lick, lick… “I...but, uhm...eh-al-alright...” I wasn’t sure what to think. She was blatantly breaking the rules of the channel, and subsequently my brain shattered just trying to understand how. I reconnected with the others, and was assaulted from all sides. Questions of where I’d been, what I was talking about, what I was doing, and why I’d shut them all out. It was overwhelming, but Pinkie handled it quite nicely with a little giggle. “Oh, my… I had no idea all of my friends were voyeurs. We could replay the steamy conversation we just had, but I’m not sure any of you could handle it.” “Wait, w-w-w-what?” I stammered. “Shh…” Lick, lick. “You just completely-yeouch!” She bit down on my ear before I could say ‘lied’. “You talk too much! And stop moving! Let me see your leg, I’m super hungry.” The confusion that bombarded me from Pinkie’s friends was almost enough to match my own…and I knew what was going on! < Play > Fluttershy slipped her forelegs around my neck, the gentlest most loving stranglehold I had ever been in. Pinkie was so much rougher, kind of like diamond dogs, except...delicious. “Oh, you poor poor baby.” Fluttershy nuzzled through my mane, and behind an ear. An action I found quite calming, despite being in such a dangerous position with an assassins hooves around my neck. Then the sobbing redoubled. “Nopony is going to harm you. I’ll take care of you.” “I appreciate your efforts to keep me calm. You’re quite good at it.” I smiled nervously. “Also, I appreciate you letting me live.” Twilight’s jaw dropped, her quill scribbling furiously at the paper. Suddenly, I recognised her facial expression! She was confused! Her eyes darted back and forth between myself and Fluttershy, but mostly Fluttershy. I put the different bits together, and memorized that look for future reference. Just in case I made it out of here alive. Fluttershy squeezed tighter as I tensed, wrapping further around me. “This reminds me of cuddle death. I experienced it once, though I would much prefer Fluttershy’s version to being smothered, and crushed by hundreds of my kin. Actually, it dredges up some painfully horrible memories. You wouldn’t mind releasing me, would you?” “Eeek!” Fluttershy released me, and jumped back. She stared at me wide eyed, hooves over her mouth. || Pause || “Smooth Casanova, real smooth!” Dash snickered. “Nothin’ says romance like ‘you remind me of a horrible slow painful death under a bunch of hot sweaty monsters.’” Applejack laughed, Dash swiftly joining her. I could just picture the two of them throwing up a hoof bump. Rarity sighed. The feeling that she really didn’t want to be here came through loud and clear. “Applejack, be a dear and try not to expound upon the already revolting imagery too much?” “Well, in my defense I had just confessed to being a changeling! I kind of expected the next move to be my execution at some point, so I was slightly irritable.” “Well it didn’t take long for Twilight to trick you inta revealin’ that little secret now did it?” Applejack chuckled. “Not the brightest bug, are ya?” “Now girls, remember, he didn’t know any better. We have to look at it sub-ject-ively.” Twilight drew out the last word. I was certain it was aimed at Dash’s earlier misuse of ‘adjectively’. After all, Twilight was very good at word games. Dash picked up on my thought. “You know, I could have figured that out on my own, but after this story, it really pisses me off that you figured it out before me.” Dash growled in my direction. “I didn't mean to think that out loud… but seriously, buck your word games. I don’t care if I’m stupid, I can run circles around both of you eggheads! Heck, Shatter’s too broken to even fly. Makes you pretty useless as a pegasus or a changeling!” Dash paused, the channel silent. “Wow, I’m sorry. That all came out way harsher than I thought it would.” “Yep, this truth speakin’ bites ya in the apples don’t it, R.D.?” Applejack chuckled. “Not the only thing biting you in the apples A.J.? Eh...S.D.? Hehe, like you some apple sauce there, now don’t’cha?” Dash gasped. “Wow! Really didn’t mean to think that!” “Uh-huh…” Applejack deadpanned. I had a feeling she wasn’t amused. “Dang it Shatter, what are ya? Master of the obvious? Yer two bits are more worthless than that perverted pegasus’ sex bits.” “Did you mean six?” Honestly, I was confused. “No, I meant ‘you’re a jackass’/six! Stupid blasted worthless buckin’ truth speakin’ pain in the flank channel can burn in Tartarus! I thought you were good at word games?” “Well, yes. At least when I know I’m playing them. I didn’t know we were playing! Can I try again?” I left it open to interpretation as to how serious I was. “No, I was never... You idiot! Never mind!” Pinkie’s giggles vibrated through my wings. I snuggled back into her, happy I had entertained her, even a little. “Hay? I am still here, and I am not/so perverted! I just can’t keep the thought’s out of my head. Not my fault they keep escaping into this stupid channel.” Dash growled, embarrassment deep rooted in her tone. “Look, I’m tired of covering it up. I don’t/do care what any of you think. I can’t hide my thoughts at all, and I haven’t meant to say most of the things I did. Seriously, I’m really trying to take this all serious, but I can’t help it. So, get off my back, alright?” “It’s because you are very honest and outspoken. If you are capable of hiding your thoughts outside of the channel, you will be much more likely to naturally hide them inside of the channel.” I stopped to think for a second. “I imagine that is why Rarity hasn’t said much, and what she has said is really poignant and controlled.” “Don’t analyze me you vermin!” “Well I could be wrong…” I mentally shrugged off the sting of her words, and sighed out my frustrations as I turned my focus back to the story. “Uhg, I really did look like an idiot. That whole first day was a disaster...” Fluttershy cooed at me. “Aww, cheer up Meester Dweams. At least you were really cute...” She gulped at my irritated silence. “I-I… I’m so sorry.” She meeped. “It’s alright.” I took a deep breath, and prepared to continue. “Mmmm…” Lick, lick, lick. Pinkie giggled. “Sweet frosted creamy-creeaamy Dreamsicle...” “What!?” I facehoofed, a stress relief technique I had picked up from Twilight. “Here we go again…” > Ch2-2: A New Home Whether You Like it or Not! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Nopony’s going to kill you!” Twilight blurted out, her breathing picked up, and she winced as a hoof assaulted her forehead. I think Twilight’s look of confusion was getting worse, but I would be confused too if my own hoof just punched me in the face. She was now whispering under her breath, apparently content to conversate with herself at the moment. I wasn’t quite accustomed to determining different levels of the emotion just yet. So, maybe this was normal? || Pause || “Yep, nothin’ outa the ordinary here…” Applejack chuckled. Confirming grumbles and giggles rang through the channel. “Hay! I was stressed, confused, and okay...maybe a little excited, but that is definitely not normal for me!” Twilight shot back indignantly. I was genuinely shocked. “Wow, Twilight, you’re usually different!?” Twilight let out an exasperated sigh. “Do I normally act like that around you, Shattered Dreams?” Pinkie ran out of spots on my carapace to lick clean, and had settled in, her head resting contentedly on my shoulder, making little analytical ‘hmm’s as she listened. “Yes!” I shook my head emphatically, hoping she could feel it through the line. “You’re terrifying! All you ever do is follow me around, take samples, and scribble on your notepad. It’s kinda creepy.” “Twi, you totally just got called creepy by a changeling.” Dash snickered. “Well if that don’ open yer eyes, nothin’ will.” Applejack joined Dash in a fit of snickers turned giggles. Rarity cleared her throat daintily. “I would have to agree with these two on the matter, Twilight. No offense, but you have been acting out of sorts lately, and I do believe if Shatter knows anything, that I could respect his opinion on, it would have to be being creepy.” “Hay…” I could have given her an earful, but Twilight cut me off. “None of you are helping!” Twilight blurted out. “Shatter, continue, please...” “Wait!” Fluttershy whispered loudly. “Oh, my! That was unexpected. I never would interrupt so…” “Fluttershy just spit it out.” Dash’s mane rustled as she shook her head. I knew since I had memorised the sound. “Uhm...well, maybe, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but, maybe, uhm…” Fluttershy took a deep breath and blurted out the rest. “Maybe she’s in such a deep state of denial that her denials have become her reality?” “I am not delusional!” “Meep!” Twilight growled. “Shatter, continue! Now!” Maybe Twilight wasn’t delusional, but she definitely was grumpy, and I am sticking to my assessment of creepy. “Shatter!” Another round of laughter echoed through the room. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to think that on the channel… but, uhm...” “What?” Twilight barked, clearly at the edge of her tolerance. “Well, do you want me to skip ahead an hour or so?” I grinned nervously. “You are kind of crazy in the next session.” “I...am...not...crazy! I am a focussed deep thinker, and sometimes a little out of touch with reality, but I’m not creepy, delusional, or crazy!” She growled. Pinkie giggled. “Creelusionalzy!” I barked out a laugh so hard I nearly passed out. I would have fallen on the floor but Pinkie held me up. Twilight groaned, giving up as she attempted to change the subject. “Shatter, I know your love for wordplay is borderline fanatical, but Pinkie's word doesn't make any sense. It's not even funny...” “Nah, but it’s soo cute!” I fell into another round of uncontrollable laughter. "Cute? Really?" Pinkie repeated the word with a breathy pouty tone. "Creelusionalzy..." I melted into a fit of playful giggles, completely at her mercy as she whispered the word over and over, giggling all the while. “Would you, puh-lease just continue the story?” Rarity whined. I took my time recovering, adding in a few extra giggles for good measure. Which wasn’t hard given that every grumble from Rarity made me giggle long after the effects of Pinkie’s word played out. < Play > I looked back to Fluttershy. She was still crying, but no longer touching me. I blinked in shock as I realized it wasn’t a pony technique for comfort. I had cried...once, so I took a stab at it. “Are you crying for me, perhaps?” I cocked an eyebrow. “Why would you do that? I’m not dead...yet.” Fluttershy darted from the room in a yellow streak, and hid in the kitchen. I sighed, and rubbed at my temples. “Dear, Chrysalis, I am cracked at this.” Twilight giggled in response, and shook her head slowly. She was still babbling quietly as something incomprehensible mulled about her brain, bits of hair randomly popped out of place to stick up in little chaotic curls. She scribbled furiously on that curious little notepad, the pages were filling up and flipping every few seconds. Mentally I took note. Ponies had such a wide range of facial expression, and each had its own varying degrees of severity. I had no idea that even their hair was expressive, or that confusion caused them to scribble on paper. Even so, I was feeling quite pleased with myself having become so well acquainted with this emotion. I soon became engrossed with staring at Twilight. The emotional waves rolling off of her, and her foreign bizarre actions drew my fascination, and terrified me at the same time. I hoped I would have a chance to venture out, and taste it in the future. Actually, my hoof was stretching out to do just that before I realized it. || Pause || “Ahh! Run, Twi, run!” Applejack screamed in panic. “Ahh!” Came a chorus of answers, followed by embarrassed silence. “I am just recounting a memory Applejack, the images you see cannot hear you.” I reassured her as best I could, but I could only guess at Applejack’s response. Seeing as we still weren’t on the best of terms. “I know, I know. It’s just seein’ one of mah good friends in mortal danger of being eaten by a monster. Well, memory or not, it gets to me.” She sighed, still trying to catch her breath. “I’m really not sure how to feel about that…” I brushed it off and continued. < Play > My eyes darted between the glows of Twilight’s horn, and the notepad. She gazed hauntingly at me as she bit her lip, her eyes widening. She watched my hoof with baited breath. I watched my hoof in fascinated horror. What am I doing!? I screamed in my own mind as my hoof drew ever closer to the purple glowing horn. The tip of my hoof hissed as I touched it, and I recoiled a little. I soaked in a little of the magic, and tasted it, mulling it over in my craw in careful analyzation. || Pause || “Aah!” Rarity screamed. “Aah!” Came the chorus of answers, followed by curious silence. “How could you let him touch something...so...private!?” She gagged. “I think I may be sick.” Twilight mentally shrugged. “Knowledge comes at a price. If all it cost me was satisfying a little foalish curiosity, then it was worth letting him touch it.” Dash snickered. For the next few moments I struggled with an inner debate on which statement irritated me more. Applejack’s, Rarity’s, or Twilight’s. “Oh come on! I bet Pinkie’s let you go curious foal all over her!” Dash failed to stifle her laughter. “Congrats, Dash, you win…” I thought out loud. “We’ve only been a couple for three days, and I was in jail just until this morning when you all came to get me.” Pinkie giggled. “What about curious Pinkie? I can’t wait to see what else he can change into!” I froze, not quite sure what she was implying with such an impish tone. I only had one other transformation other than my combat spikes. “Well, I do know one trick…” “Spare us!” Rarity gasped in horror. “O...kay, no awesome pillow talk for you then! I will continue…” < Play > “Oh, there’s a form of love in this.” I met Twilight’s eyes again, twirling the combination of her magic and emotions around in my craw. “It’s different, and a little twisted, but I am pretty sure it’s a kind of love.” Twilight began giggling, her eyes getting wider along with the toothy grin that spread across her muzzle. || Pause || “Aaah!” Fluttershy squeaked. “Run Mr. Dreams! Run!” “Oh, come on!” I blurted out in exasperation. “Really?” “Sorry…” She meeped. “I couldn’t help it.” < Play > Then, without warning, she pounced. “My turn!” A long yellow cord popped into existence. I was so horribly ill prepared for what happened next it still haunts my dreams. She flipped me every which way, holding me in mid air with her magic. She stretched out every limb, mumbled a series of numbers, and scribbled like a maniac! Each wing, leg, my barrel both length and girth, teeth, snout, ears, tail, and then... || Pause || “Ahh!” Twilight blurted out. “Ahh!” Came the chorus of answers. “Oh, for the love of, what now?” I grumbled irritably. “I completely forgot about that!” Twilight gulped. Dash was whispering a low mantra to herself. “Shuddup, shuddup, shuddup, shuddup, shuddup. Not saying anything…” Fluttershy meeped. “Oh my! Twilight, how could you…” “Twilight!” Rarity gasped in shock, letting out a blast of breath she had been holding. “There is no profession or purpose I can possibly think of for you to ever take measurements of that!” “Shuddup, shuddup…” Twilight stammered, snapping back. “I was focussed! I was just measuring everything I could get my hooves on…” “Well, there wasn’t much ya didn’t get yer hooves on was there?” Applejack snickered, then laughed so hard she degenerated into a fit of wheezing punctuated by raspy gasps for air. “Ah cain’t believe you did that!” Twilight sighed. “I’m never going to live this down am I?” “Eenope…” Applejack squeaked out between her uncontrollable fits. Dash was squeaking off in the corner, sounding like she was holding her breath. “Want to add anything Pinkie?” Twilight grumbled. “Nah, I’m just taking notes like the rest of you girls.” Pinkie paused for a second. “Hay, Shatter, did you mean to make it that big?” “Holy flaming sunbutt, realy?! As if it wasn’t hard enough to keep my mouth shut!” Dash had her own battles to fight. I admired her determination. “Dash!” Twilight screamed out. “That is terrible! I can’t believe you would be so disrespectful of princess Celestia!” “Fine! Holy delusional star flanks!” Dash shot at her. “Hay! I am...delusional!” Twilight paused. “Wait…” “She said it! She said it!” Rarity blurted out in a momentary loss of composure. “Oh, Twilight this is a wonderful start. Acceptance is half the battle! I’m soo proud of you!” She squealed. Pinkie added in her own squeal. “Oooh! I’m delusional too! You can join my club. I hang out with Vinyl Scratch every friday night. We can be delusion buddies together! She calls us dubbies.” “Squee!” I fell over laughing uncontrollably. “Delusional and buddies. Dubbies! I love it!” Twilight groaned, then slowly and methodically she stated. “I am no-awowaawoowaa…” The channel was clearly making it impossible for her to say ‘not.’ “Fine! I’m delusional.” She stated flatly. “If that’s what it takes to further my pursuit of knowledge, then so be it.” “I believe, uhm, in some way...oh please somepony shut me up…that in itself is a delusion.” Fluttershy sighed. “I want my bunny…” Twilight ignored her, cleared her throat, and continued. “I believe Pinkie has an unanswered question still.” She read from her notepad. “Ehem, did you mean to make it that big? Really Pinkie?” “What?” I could feel Pinkie shrug. “Everypony here was thinking it!” “Yes! Yes I was!” Dash screamed out. “Oh buck me…” “Absolutely nurrawraw…” Rarity sighed. “Fine, maybe I was ‘a little’/very curious.” “Yep…” Applejack paused, listening to the stunned silence. “That’s it, just yep. I was wonderin’. Ain’t seen one that big since ah caught Big Mac and Cheerilee out in the apple orch… dangit! Why am ah still talkin’?” “Pinkie? Are all ponies so fixated on genitalia, and mating rituals?” I inquired. “Always! But only when good friends are left alone to talk long enough.” Pinkie twittered. Then she added more seriously in a low tone. “Alwaayyss...” Twilight filled in the rest. “Yes, all conversations generally turn towards such topics amongst friends.” “And sometimes co-workers, depending on what the juiciest gossip of the day is.” Rarity added. Dash blurted out. “Because when it really comes down to it, ponies have a history of forming herds of one stallion and four to eight or more mares. It’s only recently that couples became the social norm. So, yeah, we talk about sex to express the frustration that everypony feels from not having enough release.” If there was a sound for jaws dropping, I heard five of them. “I have therapy twice a month to deal with my issues/hypersexuality…” Dash cleared her throat trying to cover up the last word as the channel slipped it through. “Anyway, what do changelings talk about?” “We talk about many things, most of it over the channels. There is a work channel for every job, and then there is the chatter channel that picks up all other channels.” I thought for a moment. “Princess Feelia dedicated a channel to me. Though my job was outer rim guard, I didn’t do a whole lot other than stand there most of the time. So, once it became apparent I had kept my sanity, and the story telling skills from my past life. I was given the optional position of hive story crafter. I would take in stories from returning...” “Wait! Go back,” Twilight interjected. “What did you say? Past life?” “Oh…” I clammed up, cutting off from the channel, but I couldn’t shut out their shouts from outside the channel. I was bombarded with questions, many of them surprisingly concerned. “Booring!” Pinkie screamed, cutting off the chatter. I wasn’t prepared for what she did next. My brain scrambled, causing static through the line. “What in tarnation!” Applejack yelled out over the rest. “Felt like somepony just deep fried mah brain in pop rocks!” “Sorry, Applejack!” I really was. “I can’t help it! Pinkies sucking on my…” Dash burst in, cutting me off. “Hay, that’s what I wanted to do! At least I kept my mouth shut!” I finished. “...ear” Pinkie paused, as did the others. Dash broke the silence. “Somepony, just kill me…” “I thought you were against mercy killing?” I inquired. Dash barked out a half hearted laugh. “Buck off, S.D.!” I chuckled. “Sarcasm… Nailed it!” Dash snickered as the others around the room giggled. The hint was taken, and they let my slip up slide, but I knew deep down I hadn’t fully escaped the subject. Pinkie hugged me tight. “Nice one, Dreamy…” She nuzzled my neck. “You too, Parfait, thanks.” I smiled, feeling quite accomplished at having relieved the tension in the room. Pinkie had taught me a few tricks. Maybe, someday, I could fit in. “You are going to tell me later though, right?” Pinkie whispered. I gulped. “Tell you what?” Stalling to gather my thoughts. “Mmmm…” I could feel Pinkies cheeks puff out against my neck, and could just picture her narrowed eyes. “I’ll…” I stammered. “I-I’ll try, Parfait, but I don’t think you really want to know.” She kissed me on the cheek. “Don’t be silly. I want to know everything about you.” “No you don’t…” I mumbled under my breath. < Play > The nerves of my pony body had turned my limbs completely to stone. I was helpless, other than to hold the various positions Twilight stuck me in while she ravaged me with that yellow cord. “So, uhm… Thanks again for letting me live…” I said awkwardly. “But, uhm… A little respect, and common decency would be much appreciated!” “Mmhmm…” she replied. “Yeah, I-I” My brain grasped desperately for anything to talk about as she flipped me back and forth through the air. I locked onto the notebook, staring, wondering. “I can’t hold back, the question is killing me! Does scribbling on that thing relieve stress? O-or is it a coping technique to enhance one's understanding in a confusing situation?” “What an intelligent question!” Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head as she leapt back to get a better look at me. I fell to the couch with an ‘erf.’ “The real question is what led to you developing such intelligence while being raised by monsters!?” “We aren’t monsters!” I snapped back. “We are a close community bonded by the hive mind and common goals for survival! The hive means never being alone, never being denied, and never being left wanting for anything! My love for the hive!” || Pause || “Oh, my…” Rarity giggled derisively. “It does have a backbone. Who knew? Tell me, after you abandon this home will you defend it so vehemently with declarations of love, or is it more your style to let Pinkie fade into distant memory as you con a new source of food?” “I never abandoned my hive!” I screamed it, the words tearing themselves from my throat as my heart clenched, my carapace flooding with the heat of my vehemency. “My hive abandoned me! They murdered my hive, Feelia, and left me to die twice! That is three betrayals, and on the third I gave my life for the hive! I am broken and will die for the hive that abandoned me!” My chest heaved, my wings quivering in rage as I brought my tone back under control. “A pampered pony who lavishes in luxury can only offer a fools judgement.” “A pathetic answer! I care nothing for your hive, or your piddly qualms. I care about Pinkie, and nothing in your little rant even mentioned her well being, much less her importance to you. Did you even hear what I said, or were you too busy wallowing in the broken pride of your self pity?” I could not hide the irritation of her words as they seared through me. My mind was completely thrown off balance, and I silently cursed her for adding self doubt to my list of issues. “It’s ok, Dreamy! I know you love me, and leaving me is last on your mind. So why would you even think of it?” Pinkie beamed, ever the voice of optimism. Compulsively, I rubbed my fangs against the lugs in my forelegs in subconscious stress relief. The dull sound of sheathing bone on bone filled the room with an occasional intermittent clack. “Perhaps, you haven’t gotten over what your hive did to you? Maybe?” Fluttershy soothed through the line. “Do you want to talk about it?” “No, I really don’t.” I growled in a low tone. “I’m doing my best to forget it.” “Forgettin’ isn’t the answer.” I was surprised to hear the concern in Applejack’s tone. “Shatter, ya need to talk about it. Pain like that doesn’t just go away. Ya have to talk about it, and get it off yer back. Else, it just eats ya up inside. Besides, that’s what good friends are for!” I stopped to consider her words, and gritted my teeth as I bit back my frustration. “That’s a funny thing to say, Applejack. Considering you all made it quite clear I had lost my only friends. Even now I sit here under judgement of whether or not I’m even worthy to be kept alive while you refer to me as a disgusting monster.” “We aren’t determining whether you live or die, Shatter.” Twilight cut in. “Just whether or not your feelings for Pinkie are true.” “Ah, I see, and what they do to me in Canterlot after the fact is none of your concern then?” I snapped. There was a long awkward silence. Pinkie slumped down a little, and I could feel her emotions shift. I felt bad, but I didn’t know what to say at the moment. I was struggling to deal with my own emotions. It was some time before I was calm enough to continue my tale and due to the dark mood that settled upon the room, it was quite a while before I would be interrupted again. < Play > “Fascinating!” Twilight shook sense back into her brain, her mane in frizzy chaos as she bolted after Fluttershy. Leaving me completely alone! I blinked, staring after her. “Well, you didn’t have to answer, but, still, that was a little rude. Not like I can hear you on the channels or anything!” I straightened back out on the couch, pulling my limbs back into place underneath me, and trying to fight off the sickening queasy spreading through my gut that came from being so blatantly violated. I glanced at a hole in the wall. It was barred with a few feeble looking twigs, but nothing I couldn’t handle. My eyes darted back to the kitchen. The two ponies were mumbling to themselves. Briefly, I considered staying. Fluttershy was delicious, and fed me freely. Yet, I had just upset her! Now they were back there discussing Chrysalis knows what, and here I am with the perfect chance to escape. I jumped off the couch, eyeing the hole in the wall, and freedom beyond. Apprehension nipped at my hooves, however, and my eyes darted back to the kitchen. Twilight was indeed terrifying, and hard to read, but Fluttershy was such a great food source. Both of them were my mortal enemies...but they also knew Pinkie. I shook my head. Delicious beyond belief or not, Pinkie was also my mortal enemy. I gritted my teeth, my mouth watering in remembrance of that amazing flavor she had. I eyed the window, shuffling about the room in confusion. I shook my head again, my breathing coming in short panicked gasps. I started over on my logic. Freedom, Twilight, Fluttershy, survival, Pinkie, crying, and the secret of the notebook! It all danced in circles around my mind, which was growing foggier with my exhaustion from handling the overload of emotions all day. It’s too much! I choked on my breath, trying desperately to control the emotions flooding my senses. I hate this body! My hooves froze to the floor in indecision. I stared at them, my pony stomach churning with queasy apprehension. I cycled through the logic, the choices, the weight of each decision, over, and over, and over… An image of Pinkie flashed through my head, and I wished she was here to shut off the world again. I wanted to scream. A creaking floorboard caught my attention. I looked over my shoulder to see Twilight halt around one side of the couch, stuck in an odd pose, her wings lifted slightly. I looked to the other side to see Fluttershy, nearly the same pose, her lips drawn back in a nervous grin, her eyes dancing around guiltily. My panic attack suddenly paused. “I recognise that form. You two were going to pounce on me weren’t you?” I asked matter of factly, trying to catch my breath. “Uhm...well, kind of yes, if you don’t mind.” Fluttershy smiled at me. “It’s for your own good, Mr. Dreams, but we won’t have to if you don’t run.” She glanced nervously at Twilight for confirmation. “You won’t run, right? Please…” Briefly, I wondered, if Fluttershy’s strangleholds were so delicious, how amazing would her pounces be? I looked back to Twilight, and the thought was crushed as my panic attack suddenly resumed. I was washed under a sudden wave of terror as I remembered… Perverted Alicorn Twilight the Violating Warrior Princess!! || Pause || “I just… I don’t even… How did it come to this!?” Twilight said dejectedly, her head flopping onto the floor. “I give up…” The tension in the room exploded into a hearty round of laughter. I didn’t join in. Personally the memory wasn’t all that funny to me. I also took note that Pinkie wasn’t laughing quite as hard as the others, but she was at least giggling. “Did I depress you?” I whispered. “Don’t be silly… I’m not depressed, why would I be? I have you in my hooves.” She whispered back, but added somberly. “For now…” I nodded, but was unconvinced. Her flavor had definitely changed. “Even if they condemn me to Canterlot-” I whispered in a low tone. “-I will fight to stay by your side.” This didn’t seem to cheer Pinkie up. In fact, it seemed to make her mood worse. I tried to quell the confusion that nipped at the back of my mind, and keep it private as I continued my tale. < Play > I screamed in terror, my wings flapping back in a blur as I shot forward with every ounce of speed I could muster. Freedom only mere fee… ‘Smack!’ I hit something hard with a resounding thud that vibrated through the walls, and crumpled to the floor. I wasn’t sure what had happened. I looked up at the hole in the wall. Somehow in my panic I must have missed it. I darted to the side, barely dodging Twilight and Fluttershy as they pounced onto the spot where I had been laying. I bolted across the room to a square hole in the wall. The twigs were slightly larger, but nothing I couldn’t… ‘Smack!’ I slid down the window with a dull vibrating screech to land splayed out on the floor. “Ow!” I shook off the dizzy that was threatening to overcome my brain. I looked back. Twilight and Fluttershy were circling around opposite sides of the room now, trying to pin me in. I examined the clear exit, my hooves running into something solid. I tried to push past it, but it was no use. I turned back, the ponies froze in place mid creep. “We are just trying to help.” Twilight nodded at me. “Please, remain calm, and sit on the couch. I promise not to analyze you for too long.” Her lips drew back in a terrifying grin. “Please,” Fluttershy cooed. “I really don’t want you hurting yourself. It should only take a few days at most to complete your house training.” I looked back and forth between them. Their words said one thing, but their actions were screaming out another. I was being hunted! I could only guess at the horrible things house training entitled… I jumped to my hooves, and spun back around. ‘Smack!’ “Ow! Why do I keep doing that!?” I chided myself on forgetting the invisible barrier again. My wings spread in panic, and slammed down hard. I jumped up into the air, grabbing for a thick wooden rafter, but a stabbing pain seared through my side. My injury! I crashed back to the ground in a heap, wailing in pain as I curled into a ball. I was helpless as the ponies fell upon me. I thrashed around feebly, but to no avail. My normal combat prowess was severely hampered by the debilitating pain that stole my breath, and the inability for this body to process terror. I did the only thing I could, and blindly bit a purple hoof. Twilight recoiled, wearing that look of shock again, cradling her foreleg. “Lugrot!” I cursed under my breath, realising I had just bitten a princess. I shoved at Fluttershy, who was still on top of me, until I locked eyes with her, finding a new definition of terror in the icy tendrils that trickled across my skin paralyzing my legs. I much prefered the hug torture to the stare she leveled at me. There wasn’t malice in Fluttershy’s stare, but there was anger. A chilling distant focus that pierced through the soul, making it hard to breath. It was the sudden absence of love, like an overflowing dam of mild but fluffy snuggles suddenly slamming shut, replaced with a bitter chill void. I hardly noticed it was there, that I was basking in its fuzzy warmth until it was suddenly gone, leaving behind depthless pupils that threatened to suck me in. “I understand you are scared and confused, but you do not! I repeat, do not! Bite!” She leaned in closer. “Do you understand me, mister!?” I swiftly nodded, eager to please, and terrified of upsetting her further. “If I catch you biting again, there will be no dinner, and you will be grounded to your room! Now, you are going to march over to that couch, and sit there like a good pony. Got it!?” Her eyes narrowed slightly as she pointed a hoof at the couch. I shook my head faster, anything to make that cold hard stare go away. She backed off as I slinked past her, cringing under her gaze, nearly dragging across the ground, and never once taking my eyes off her. “Move!” “Eeeh!” My hooves scrambled across the floor of their own accord. I jumped up onto the couch, laying down obediently, unable to control my quivering wings as I tried to hide under a pillow. Fluttershy turned to Twilight, reaching out to inspect her hoof. “Oh, Twilight, does it hurt?” “No, not really. He didn’t bite hard...” Twilight’s words trailed off as she crained her neck around Fluttershy to stare at me, a smile on her lips. Fluttershy’s concerns fell upon deaf ears as we locked gazes. I couldn’t place the look, but something in her eyes was unsettling. Haunting and unwavering. Something in me would almost rather deal with Fluttershy’s stare than Twilight’s. However bad that gaze was, the smile was worse. It’s little upturned corners split into an all out grin that froze my blood. I want to go home… Fluttershy disappeared into the kitchen, leaving me alone with Twilight again. || Pause || “Oh no! Poor S.D. needs an adult!” Dash burst into laughter. “Hay!” Twilight shot back, mumbling under her breath in embarrassment. To my chagrin, Pinkie giggled a little as the rest joined in Dash’s mirth. < Play > Twilight trotted over. The couch was slowly swallowing me as she squared off, staring, her eyes never leaving mine, but her focus was far beyond where I was sitting. I chanced a furtive glance at the back of the couch. Nothing was there. She must be staring through me...magically. I could only imagine... Fluttershy trotted back into the room holding a small cup of liquid. “Here you go. Drink this...it will calm you down.” I eyed the concoction. It was brown, some kind of dirty water with little specks of floaty bits around the bottom. Fluttershy nodded reassuringly. “It’s called tea, and this blend is very special. My friend Rarity taught me how to make it from flowers in my garden. It will make you feel all better.” Fluttershy turned to Twilight. “Twilight, uhm...if you wouldn’t mind not staring at him. He is still very skittish.” She smiled warmly. “Please? Let me house train him, then I am sure you can ask all the questions you want, ok?” Twilight’s head snapped around to lock onto Fluttershy, who meeped in surprise and backed up a little. “And write that book! Oh, Fluttershy! This is great! Think of it, the only pony to ever grow up with changelings!” She had apparently lost the ability to control the volume of her voice. || Pause || Twilight groaned. “I’m not crazy… I’m insane!” We all heard her make mental note to have Celestia do an extra in depth mental examination for her next… She hesitated for a moment. “Oh, so this is why Celestia personally tends to my mandatory monthly checkups…” She was more mumbling to herself than talking to anypony. Tentatively I broke the awkward silence by continuing my story, ignoring her mumbling in the background. < Play > I eyed her warily as I focussed on the cup of dirty water. I wasn’t a stranger to drinking from mud pools out in the wastes. While I was a guard, it was the duty of every hive member to seek out water, purify it, and then bring as much back to the hive as we could carry. This was an easily manageable amount of dirt. I swallowed all of it instantly, intent on purifying it, and spitting out the nasties. However, this surprisingly sweet mildly viscous liquid called tea was just lovely! So I took my time. || Pause || Rarity’s words beamed with pride through the channels. “Oooh, I taught her that blend! I’m flattered, Fluttershy. Really, It is one thing to say you like it, quite another to serve it to guests.” < Play > I swished it around in my craw, then once I was satisfied, I sucked the impurities back up. The ponies had gotten into a very mild mannered argument. I couldn’t keep up however. While I was interested in my fate, I was far too exhausted to make sense of their heated whispering. The dross slid up my throat. I leaned over the couch, careful not to dirty it, and spit it onto the floor politely, not wanting to make any rude sounds, or unnecessary distractions. Twilight glanced over. “Eew! What are you doing?” Her quill began scribbling notes. || Pause || “And now I can never drink it again!” Rarity cried with dramatic flare. < Play > “Bad Mr. Dreams! No!” Fluttershy trotted towards the kitchen as I slinked further into the crack of the couch. “We do not do that in the house.” “Okay, Fluttershy, I see your point.” Twilight heaved a long self controlling sigh. “I will wait until you are finished training him, but I still plan to observe every step of the way! I don’t want to miss a thing. Oh, this is so exciting! I’m putting everything else on hold to write this book.” She squealed, and hopped in place a couple times. I didn’t understand what training I would be undergoing, but I was convinced I was in over my head here. I definitely wasn’t looking forward to more of Twilight’s observing. Well, at least the tea was delicious. It reminded me of the harvested liquid love pools back at the hive regurgitated with care by returning infiltrators from the field. || Pause || “Disgusting! You’ve simply ruined tea time! You, you...horrid mud wallowing beetle!” Rarity growled at me. “What? How did I do that?” The shock in my words was sincere, though secretly I grinned that I had somehow gotten back at her in some small way for her earlier mind games. “And I do not wallow in mud. Not unless it is really hot out, otherwise it gets stuck in my snugs, and that’s very unpleasant…” “Rarity! Stop being a meany to Dreamy! He was just complimenting your tea.” Pinkie jumped to my defense. I could feel her forelegs wrapped around me, squeezing gently. Like being in a soft warm cubby comb. I tried not to grin so evilly in Rarity’s direction, but seeing as everypony was blind, I didn’t try to hold back too hard. Pinkie whispered in my ear, though the words also transmitted over the channel, I savored the tactile caress of her breath across my receptors. “It’s okay, Dreamy, I don’t think you’re disgusting. In fact, I think liquid love sounds super delicious!” My wings buzzed happily between us, eliciting little giggles from her as they tickled her tummy. Then an idea hit me. “Oh!” I couldn’t keep the excitement out of my voice. “Would you like to try some?” I asked, curious if I’d found a new way to please the mare I craved. “Barfed up love juice!?” Dash spoke up. “That is soo gross!” I could feel the excitement in her voice. “Do it Pinkie, I dare you!” “Rainbow Dash, that there is wrong on so many levels.” Applejack snickered. “Ain’t no way even somepony as random as Pinkie Pie is goin’ to accept such a stupid dare.” “Hmmm…” Twilight hummed in. “I don’t think it’s all that far fetched. We do eat honey from bees after all.” “Twilight! How could you even suggest something so...terrible!?” I tried to ignore the overwhelming disgust in Rarity’s voice, fighting my frayed nerves with a deep calming sigh. “Comparing the poison this monster spews out to sweet bee honey...well...it’s just...unthinkable!” “Does it taste like bee honey?” Fluttershy’s soothing voice was a balm to Rarity’s sharp tone. “If you don’t mind me asking…” “I don’t know…” I thought about it. “I don’t believe I’ve ever tried bee honey directly.” Rarity gasped, cutting me off as her voice echoed across the channel in frustration. “Fluttershy? First Dash, then Twilight, and now you? Have you all lost your minds?” “Me too!” Pinkie chirped defiantly. “Don’t forget me. I’m going to try it. I’ll prove Dreamy isn’t gross or weird. He can be super duper sweet! And I’m gonna pro...” Twilight cut Pinkie off as she suddenly dropped the spell that connected us. I opened my eyes, blinking and squinting to reacclimate to the waning light of the setting sun as it filtered into the library. I wasn’t alone, the others were all groaning from the strain as well. Even Pinkie, who grunted in my ear, and startled slightly, her hooves squeezing a little tighter. protectively? As the world came back into focus, I saw Twilight prancing out of her kitchen. “I have a tea cup!” Twilight’s voice cracked in high pitched excitement as she floated the shivering purple aurad cup over to Pinkie. She then stared, wide eyes over the brim of a large notepad at us.` Pinkie shifted in a blur to sit in front of me, a massive grin on her face as she held the cup out. “Okay, Dreamy! Show me some love!” I studied the cup, sizing it up. I only needed to let go of a little, though I wasn’t used to actually bringing love back up in small amounts. It wasn’t like I was a trained gatherer or anything. However, I had been keeping a few emergency pools in my room, so the feeling came natural as I agitated the love craw in my chest. I realized too late just how full it was, Pinkie had been shoving love into me for hours now! The feelz from my craw flooded up my throat, and burst out in a torrent, wrenching my mouth wide open. The sheer pressure from it pushed my head back, forcing my eyes shut. When my eyes reopened, Pinkie sat before me, dripping in love. The room went silent. I was so mortified I couldn’t speak. My jaw hanging low as I stared, trying to imagine the whole scene before me as anything other than what it was. Pinkie’s eyes went downcast, an ear twitching as she drew in a shaky breath. “Wow, it even looks and feels like honey...” I expected something perky. A sudden bubbly outburst, or her tongue to lash out, and lick it all up at once. Anything to break the tension. “Warm, sticky, gooey honey…” She sighed deeply, her voice somber. “I’m going to shower…” She trailed off sadly as she stood, and plodded for the stairs. I nearly panicked as her emotions dimmed. I had sensed her emotions fluctuating over the past couple of days. Especially while I was locked up waiting for Princess Sparkle to determine how to deal with me. This whole ordeal had muted her usual perkiness. I reached after her, but nothing within me felt like I deserved to even touch her after all the pain I had caused. I could barely speak through the lump building in my throat. “Pinkie! I’m so sorry. I couldn’t control it. I really didn’t mean to…” She turned and smiled. A warm sweet smile, full of love. Yet, all I could feel behind it was sadness and worry. “I know silly! I’m just going to wash off…” Her voice waivered a little. “T-then we’ll just try again okay?” Rarity whispered in horror. “Darling, you can’t be serious?” She covered her own mouth too late, an apologetic look in her eyes. Pinkie glared daggers at her, tears threatening to betray her as she struggled to keep calm. “I am serious. More serious than I’ve ever serioused before!” She stomped the floor for emphasis as she held her head high. “You all just need to...need to...stop being such meanie heads, and give him a chance!” Her lip quivered slightly. “Of course ya’r.” Applejack trotted over. “Sugarcube, if’n it’s that important to ya, ya don’t have to do it. We’ll believe, that maybe, even if he’s a bug, he’s not...uhm...always that gross.” Her eyes darted to the side. Pinkie shook her head, and stomped the ground again. “Not good enough! I want you all to really know he’s not gross.” Goo dripped from her neck onto the floor in a wet splat. “He’s my colt...uhm...bugfriend! And I’m not letting anypony send him off to die in Canterlot!” “Whoa! It’s cool Pinkie, I got your back. I totally respect that he means a lot to you. I don’t want to send him to Canterlot either. He’s too much fun!” Dash snickered, trying in vain to hold back an all out torrent of laughter. “But Pinkie… I gotta know, how was your first time being covered in your boyfriends hot sticky love?” “Dash!” Rarity, Applejack, and even Twilight, still staring between us and scribbling notes, barked at her. “Bwahahaha!” Dash lost it, and fell over laughing hysterically. “Oh come on, I’m just lightening the mood. It’s Pinkie, if anypony can, she can take a good joke! Besides, after all that, she’s the only pony who’d ever give Don ‘Fail’ Juan over there a second chance!” Her words couldn’t have weighed any heavier on my already faltering hoof. I sat frozen in place, an outsider looking in, wishing I could change the story as it unfolded before me, but knowing I would only make things worse. Pinkie glanced at me, then turned on Dash with the pained gaze of a wounded friend, her words coming out in an agonized sobby whine. “Dashie?” Dash’s laughter died, and her ears fell flat as she dodged Pinkies eyes. “Whoa, hay...come on Pinkie, I didn’t really mean it. I’m just trying to get you to laugh...” Pinkie, a mare who I had witnessed help so many others find their smiles on the darkest of days, through the saddest of times in their lives, couldn’t find one pony amongst her friend to do the same for her. Her muzzle wrinkled up over a pained grimace, her eyes shutting as tears streamed down her cheeks. This was all my fault. I’m just a changeling who brings her nothing but pain. My hoof was still half extended, refusing to go any further even as Pinkie’s friends rushed to her side. Even Twilight’s pad smacked against the ground as she left it momentarily forgotten. “Mmmm…” The sudden loud soft fluttering that accompanied the muted happy sound caught everypony’s attention. “It tastes like sweet camomile and lavender.” Fluttershy beamed, smiling warmly at Pinkie, holding the gooey teacup between her hooves. “This really would go wonderfully with tea.” Everypony stared in shock. Pinkie trotted over, her frown instantly inverting. “Thanks Fluttershy. You’re the bestest!” Pinkie reached for the teacup, and took a sip of the viscous liquid. Her eyes shot open. “Wow! This is amazing! It tastes like...like thick creamy flowers!” Pinkie finished off the cup, and began to hug Fluttershy, but stopped short remembering just in time how sticky she was. However, Fluttershy closed the gap, wrapping her forelegs around her surprised friend. Despite Fluttershy’s belittling view of me as nothing more than an animal to be pet and coddled, in that moment, I etched her into my heart as a dear and trusted friend. “Fluttershy, now you’re as sticky as me silly.” Pinkie giggled. I smiled in relief as I felt her Emotions balance back out to her normal perky self. “Oh, it’s nothing...really. I just want you to feel better.” Fluttershy ran a calming hoof through Pinkies goo gnarled hair. They separated with a ‘shlop’ as the goo sucked in between them. They were connected by countless little strings that clung to their fur. “Pinkie, Flutters, don’t move!" Dash flapped over to me, throwing a foreleg around my shoulders. “Hay Shatter. Take a good look at those two. What do you feel right now?” I tensed up, looking back and forth between Dash and the Pinkie Fluttershy goo mess. “Really, really, bad.” “So your emotions completely change when you shapeshift right?” A sly grin spread across her muzzle. “Yeah?” I glared at her sideways. Dash was always pulling tricks on me, even before she knew my true identity. “What are you getting at?” “Just shapeshift into Dreamy real quick.” A quick green flash later, and I settled back into my pony persona. “Now, look at them.” I did so. And they looked back, strands of love goo slowly stretching to the floor between them, still halfway in a hug. “So, how do you feel now? Seeing them covered in thick creamy love?” Dash giggled, giving one of my suddenly very stiff wings a tap with her hoof. I laid down, my wings extended helplessly to the sides. I glanced nervously at Applejack who shrugged as if to say, “yer on yer own…” I looked between Dash, and the Pinkieshy goo mess. “Don’t wanna talk about it…” I was pretty sure my face was going to catch fire. Twilight scribbled furiously... > Ch3: Different Shades of Green and Purple > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Since it was getting late, and nopony had any patience left, Twilight consented to the request of everypony present to just let me do a quick verbal summary of the rest of my first night. “Well, after Twilight went home, Fluttershy showed me to the basement.” I shrugged. “Really not much to tell. She spread out some newspapers, left me with a few blankets, a pillow, and a bowl full of water.” Everypony gasped, and stared at Fluttershy, who shrank back, and hid behind her hair. “Nonono! It wasn’t bad, it was everything I could have possibly hoped for, and I immediately went to work on building my cubby comb. Within a few hours I had chewed the water, newspaper, and a good portion of harvested love into a cozy little cubby comb nestled into a ceiling corner. I lined it with the feathers from my pillow, and then used my snugs to mold some lugs out of the inner walls so I could hang upside down comfortably. Finally, I lined the opening with the blankets to keep the warmth in, and went to sleep.” “Oh, what was I thinking?” Fluttershy ran her hoof in a circle on the floor. “I should have given you the guest room, but instead I...I…” She trailed off with a pouty lip. Pinkie cut in. “You gave Dreamy exactly everything he ever needed!” She bounced in place. “If he was happy with it, then how could it be wrong?” “Perhaps common decency, dear?” Rarity raised a brow. “No offense, Fluttershy, but throwing somepony in the basement is a little odd, don’t you think? Twilight’s ear twitched. “Yes, it is odd…” She stared at me. “Pffttt… Common decency.” Pinkie rolled her eyes. “I’ve never been commonly decent!” “It’s okay, really.” I was speaking to Fluttershy and Rarity, but my eyes were glued to Twilight as I tried to guess her thoughts. Fluttershy’s eyes downcast, studying my hooves. “Still, I am really sorry for treating you that way. I should have given you a bed in my guest room. I can’t believe that never dawned on me.” “Yes, very odd…” Twilight’s eyes narrowed as she bore into me with that critical gaze. “I-It’s fine Fluttershy. Really, I understand. I wouldn’t have enjoyed sleeping in a bed anyway. We can work on your view of me later.” I tried to sound reassuring, and not at all nervous or embarrassed, but Twilight was making that impossible. “Yay!” Fluttershy perked up. “Can we do it in the park? I’ll bring your favorite frisbee.” “Frisbee!?” My attention snapped to Fluttershy. “Oh, yes please! That does sound wonderful!” The following silence confused me slightly, then Rarity snickered. “You really are nothing more than a simple minded animal with a perplexingly large vocabulary.” I glared at Rarity. “What? Too fabulous for frisbee?” I was getting tired of the snide comments. “Of course I also planned to make tea and sandwiches. Does that strike you as civilized enough?” Pinkie’s eyes darted between us as we squared off. “Hay! That sounds delicious! Let’s have tea and sandwiches…right now!” She bounced little squeaky hops between us to cut off our glares. “Please… pretty please? I’ll bring the desert...” “Galavanting about with a changeling playing friends? Sounds dreadful regardless of the activity.” I could feel the smirk in her voice. Pinkie brushed up against me for support, nuzzling under my chin, glaring angrily at Rarity. Her actions brought some warmth despite the chill of Rarity’s icy words. “Honestly, I believe Fluttershy has the right idea. You do seem tame enough to, with proper training mind you, perhaps make a decent pet. Now, if only you could learn your place, and stop drooling over Pinkie. Why I’d even be willing to make you a quaint little cage, and I’m sure Fluttershy could teach you, since you appear intelligent enough for simple instruction, to clean up your own filth.” Being a changeling, I know the nature of the channel, absolute truth, by heart. Sometimes we hear something, and block it off from registering in our brains, stealing our emotions against such attacks. However, the channel breaks through those defenses. Emotions speak to emotions, directly from conscious mind to conscious mind. In that moment, as I viciously lunged for Rarity, I came to understand that the bond of friendship does the same without the channel. Perhaps if I hadn’t so desperately wanted her friendship back, her words wouldn’t have pierced me so deeply. But, no matter how I look at it, there was no excuse for what I did, and perhaps there was truth in hindsight to Rarity’s words. For if Pinkie had not been there to pin me down, I would have bitten Rarity...hard. Moments later, after the red haze had cleared around my vision, and much struggling to contain my feral nature, I realized Twilight had placed me in magical purple chains that connected from my ankles to my neck. Pinkie held the end of it, quietly staring at the floor next to me. Fluttershy stared at me, the sadness in her eyes gnawing at my guilt. I suddenly felt like I had failed my trainer, though it brought some solace that she was glancing angrily at Rarity now and then. Applejack glared at me, and had moved between me and Rarity as an extra precaution. She had stayed quiet for the most part, though disgust was written across her face. Twilight had reprimanded Rarity for egging me on, and even Dash had made a few comments in my favor, saying she would have tried to punch her for it, but it only made me more irritated for failing to handle the situation in a more civilized manner. The whole situation left me feeling queasy sick. “I’m sorry, I...” “Would you shut up!?” Dash snapped at me. “You’ve been yammering all day, I can’t get your voice out of my head. I’m tired of hearing you talk.” Her voice quivered a little, and she mumbled quietly. “Besides, nopony likes you right now anyway.” She began pacing back and forth. I shuddered, cold fear of losing Dash’s support gripping at my heart. “I thought you were okay with me being a changeling. We were joking around…and…” “Did I say anything about changelings? No, don’t think I did. I don’t give a buck what you are. Maybe, I just find you obnoxious and irritating. I really hate this whole thing. We just spent the entire day listening to you drone on about your first day in Ponyville, had to deal with this truth speaking plot, and then after it all we’re right back where we started. You’re dangerous! I don’t mean like fighty dangerous, I mean you almost just ripped Rarity’s throat out! What am I supposed to think about that? Yeah, she deserved a hoof across the snout, I won’t deny it, but Shatter, that was extreme…” She paused for a moment, studying her hooves in silence. Then with a deep sigh she continued. “I just want to get out of here and grab some hard cider.” “I’d still like to drink with you…” I leaned towards Pinkie, but she shied away. I fought down a creeping panic that was crawling up my chest into my throat. “Look around you, Shatter. When is it going to sink in? You are bucked! It doesn’t really matter if Twilight or the rest of us like you or not. Even if you do get to stay with Pinkie, do you really think the ponies out there demanding you be imprisoned are going to be all ‘oh, gee, if Twilight think’s he’s an okay creepy critter of nightmares then it’s all good with us! Sure, move on in, and make yourself at home. Eat a few foals while you’re at it!’ And what if you snap like that again? Open your eyes Shatter, it’s over, and this is nothing but a waste of time!” The pain in her voice washed through me, as did the harsh reality of her words. She looked away. In fact none of them would make eye contact with me. I gritted my teeth. The whole situation was so out of hoof. It was gnawing at my insides, rising up, filling me with a queasy sand that threatened to suck me into the floor. If this was the reaction I was having in my true form, I shuddered to think how extreme it would be in my pony form. “Well, all that truth speakin’ was a real pain in the flank. Quiet Dash!” Applejack paused, but her attempt at comedy fell flat as Dash’s only reply was to mumble quietly to herself in distraction. She cleared her throat with a nervous grin and continued. “I-I can see Dash being loud, and unable to control her thoughts. Rarity is a right lady-” She paused glancing over at Rarity. “-usually, so it’s not too hard to imagine her keepin’ shut when she want’s to.” Rarity offered up a half hearted smile to Applejack, but avoided my eyes when I glanced her way. If I didn’t know better, I would think her expression was almost apologetic. “As for Twi, yeah she’s quiet because she’s all focussed over there, and Fluttershy never really speaks her mind to begin with. But there’s one thing I just ain’t gettin’.” Applejack paused, taking a deep breath. “Pinkie! Pinkie couldn’t keep her mouth shut if she were hog tied, wearin’ a twine choker, and trussed up with an apple in her mouth. Yet, there she is, all quiet as can be. She ain’t really said nothin’ this whole time!” Curiosity was palpable in the room, a lot of it my own as all eyes turned to Pinkie. Pinkie cleared her throat after a long pause. “I’m trying really hard not to think right now.” “Why?” I turned to face her. “I really want to hear your thoughts most of all.” I looked her over, taking note of how flat her mane had fallen to hang in half straight strands to one side of her head, still half fluffy in places. Pinkies voice was sombre, and sad. “You are my first love, Dreamy, and my heart whispers wonderful things about you, but-” She looked up with wavering eyes. “-the voices of my friends are trying to change it’s mind. If I think too much, I’m afraid it will listen.” Changelings can’t cry… Whether it was her usual excitement, and upbeat random happy attitude, explosive anger, or now this new heart wrenching sadness, Pinkie never ceased to amaze me in her ability to express emotion in a way that affected...no, infected those around her. One does not simply glance over Pinkie’s emotions. They suck you in, and flow through you. It’s what made Pinkie who she is. It’s what lured me to love her. But…changelings can’t cry. There were no jokes, friendly ribbing, or snide remarks. Even the angry looks my way stopped, as did the incessant scribbling of Twilight’s pad. I sat off to the side, my chains clanking as I watched them huddled together sharing their tears in a ritual of sorrow. Pinkie had made it quite clear she didn’t want anypony to touch her. Including me at the moment. I wished changelings could cry. I felt the pressure behind my eyes building up, but there was no release. It weighed on me, my chest felt like a void sucking in on itself, my head like lead as I finally gave into gravity, and slumped to the floor. My vision was tinted red around the edges, and the room was filled with little starbursts. A void opened around my heart, I could feel Pinkie’s love draining from the craw in my chest. I clung desperately to the few drops I had left as I hid my desperate gasps for air from the others. I didn’t want to make things worse. I didn’t want them to know. I didn’t want Pinkie to find out that sadness kills changelings. I was fighting for survival in more ways than one, but this one was a battle I was determined to fight on my own. I had caused her enough pain. They all broke off after Rarity reminded them it was a good chance to unwind over dinner. They decided eating at the kitchen dining table was best, and were soon shuffling out of the room. Pinkie glanced over her shoulder, and shot me a half hearted smile. I stared back uncertainly, because that smile was not one I recognized from Pinkie. She never did anything half hearted. It was a smile that failed in the definition of who I knew Pinkie to be. A smile that matched the exhaustion in her eyes well, and held no food for me. That smile tore at my heart more than all the snide comments of the day. However, by the time I looked back to say anything about it, Pinkie was already gone. Rarity was last in the room. “Are you coming?” Rarity looked back at me, her voice unreadable. I was more than a little shocked, but I shook my head. “I’m not hungry, thank you.” I looked down at the ground, and smirked. It was difficult just staying awake at the moment. “I’m sure Fluttershy will bring me some leftovers eventually.” A flash of anger passed over Rarity’s features, but she held herself in check. “It’s unbecoming of a male of any species to fail in defending their lover’s heart.” She raised an eyebrow, one corner of her mouth frowning at me. “She’s fighting for you, changeling. She’s fighting for her Shattered Dreams. Through all of this pain she comforts you, and protects your heart. The generosity of her unrequited actions are both inspiring and sickening.” “What do you expect from me!?” I glared at her. “I’m doing the best I can over here, and you are making things worse!” She leveled her glare at me, a piercing intense gaze accompanied by an accusatory hoof that hammered her point home. “You aren’t in a hive anymore, Shatter. You may not have mattered there, but to one very special pony you do matter. Please, try to act like it.” She turned to leave, whispering back over her shoulder with a furrowed brow. “Telling you is pointless, but for Pinkie’s sake…you need to figure it out soon.” I stuttered, trying to come up with a reply, anything at all, but I withered under that piercing gaze. All I could do was stare at her as she turned, and left for the kitchen, leaving me to some rather angry and confused thoughts. The moment the door shut, I slumped to the floor in exhaustion. I mulled over her words as I laid there, but the deeper I thought about it, the more they confused me. I glared at my magical chains as they cast a faint purple glow that glimmered off my shiny black carapace. Usually dull, Pinkie had licked it into a brilliant reflective sheen. Except, for the love that had wiped off of Pinkie onto me! I quickly lapped up every little drop I could find. A modicum of energy returned to my limbs, but I held my position, and stretched out on the floor. I didn’t know how long it may be before I could eat again. “Rarity’s pretty awesome isn’t she?” I looked up to find Spike bounding down the stairs. He was eyeing me suspiciously. “Always full of constructive criticism.” “Spike!” I perked up with a little rush of excitement. Then his words hit me, and I snorted. “Really? You should have heard her earlier. She hates me.” “Yeah, and you’re lucky Pinkie held you back, or I’d hate you too.” Spike glared at me. “Oh, you saw that…” I glanced off to the side, gritting my teeth. That would explain the look in his eyes. “Uh-huh. You suddenly went nuts, so I guess it worked.” He raised a scaley eye ridge. “What do you mean ‘it worked’?” I balked, momentarily losing control of my jaw. “Anything past insulting, attacking my pride, and completely infuriating me, her words were pretty pointless. Except, maybe the last few, but none of it makes any sense to me.” Spike shrugged. “Well you’ve been depressed this whole time, acting half dead. Whatever she said snapped you out of it. For a minute there you almost looked alive for once. You were even ready to fight.” Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I glanced at the kitchen door. It wiggled ever so slightly. I shook my head, ignoring it. I had come to terms with my unnecessary skittishness to such things a while ago. “No, I think you are looking a bit too far into it. The last thing she would want me to do is fight. I’m counting her vote as the first to send me to Canterlot.” Even as I denied them, Spikes words nagged at the back of my mind trying to find some form of logic I must have missed. I hoofed at the door irritably. “Anyway, you going to join them?” “Nah! You kidding? I don’t want to be anywhere near that drama right now.” He thumbed at the door. “Fluttershy is probably cooking something already anyway. I just came down to get a good look at you.” I looked at him, my head turning sideways as I tried to reassure myself I hadn’t forgotten. “You’ve already seen my original form, though. Last week.” A muffled exclamation came from the kitchen. I wonder what they are talking about? I looked back at Spike, who had been too busy talking to notice. “Yeah, but only for a second before you changed back! I’ve never seen a changeling up close like this. Well...at least not one that wasn’t trying to hurt somepony.” He moved closer, his claw outstretched. I stared at the encroaching claw, more than a little irritated. “If you try to pet me, I’ll rip it off…” Spike snickered. “Yeah, right! Fluttershy should have named you Mr. Skittish. I’d say your growl is worse than your bite, but can you even growl?” I snorted, and threw out my best sarcastic ‘Grr…’ Spike snickered, “Wow, if that growl is worse than your bite I doubt you have teeth. Exactly how did you survive in the Everfree forest? Let me guess, you gummed everything to death!” The corners of his mouth were slowly turning upwards. I didn’t feel like laughing, but Spike had a knack for tearing a good chuckle out of my frowns. I snickered, rolling my eyes like a good sport. With a flash of green fire I shifted my forehooves into long jagged spikes perforated by my snugs. Spike nodded, not even flinching as he began appraising them. “Well they look mean, but on you they aren’t much more than cosplay.” “What’s cosplay?” Spike gestured towards me to indicate everything that I was. “Fake.” “So you’re saying prove it?” “Couldn’t have said it more loud and clear if I’d screamed it from the balcony...” Spike leaned against the wall next to me picking the dirt out from underneath his claws in mock boredom. I picked a random book off the shelf, balanced it on the end of a spike, and focussed my energy. Spike startled. “Uhm, Shatter, a book isn’t…” My spike hummed to life with a green inner glow. The book slid down, and split in half, falling to the floor. “The best choice...too late...but nice light show! Too bad Twilight’s going to kill you now.” He shook his head. A commotion from the kitchen caught our attention. Lots of muffled screaming, grunting, and what sounded like a table flipping. The walls vibrated as something heavy slammed against them. My jaw dropped. “Wow, emotional mares can be scary.” “Tell me about it, that’s why I stayed out here.” Spike rolled his eyes. “Anyway, how sharp are those things?” Spike ran over, and touched the tip of one experimentally. “Hay, it’s vibrating.” “Yeah, they are special tuned to my target. I can cut through rocks with them, but they won’t hurt anything, or anypony who I haven’t tuned to. See, touch the tip as hard as you want, it won't break through skin even though I can shove it through a tree.” Spike ran a claw around the bladed tip and up the serrated edges. “Wow, that’s really useful. So you don’t cut anypony by accident right?” “Exactly!” I was getting excited. I rarely get to show off my skills. “You see, there can be hundreds of changelings in a battle to defend the hive. Some hives have thousands. My spikes are way sharper than normal, and if I didn’t special tune my weapons, I could accidently break somebuggy, and a broken changeling is a dead changeling.” “Spikes are my weapon transformation. Not many changelings can do this. Most can only change into living creatures they have touched or at least seen. However, I caught the eye of princess Feelia. She put me through special training, and taught me all kinds of useful skills.” “They look kind of like spear tips…” Spike shook his head. “Wait, you were trained by a princess?” Spike raised an impressed eye ridge. “Why? Were you really talented in magic or something?” “Nah, no special reason, really. The other drones would avoid princess Feelia, and it was rude to speak to her without being addressed first, or unless it was an emergency. So, when we were nymphs she would snuggle with her favorite pink pillow somebuggy had brought back from a love scavenge as a gift. It was her only friend.” Spike stared at me, eyes wide. “So how’d you become her apprentice?” “I didn’t, I replaced her closest friend. One day, she looked kind of sad and lonely, so I tried to cheer her up by shapeshifting into a rock, but it didn’t work. I accidently shapeshifted into a small rock shambler which is a bipedal creature that sometimes sneaks into the hive and rearranges tunnels for nesting. The guards chased me all over, and kept kicking me. Luckily, rock shamblers are made of rock, so they couldn’t really harm me, but it was still scary.” Spike began laughing. “Why am I not surprised? It’s pretty easy to imagine you running around from guards screaming.” “I wasn’t screaming! I was yelling that I was a changeling, there is a difference. It was just unfortunate coincidence that rock shamblers don’t have vocal abilities… Anyway, she honored me with her presence in the grounding chamber later that day. I found out her favorite pillow wasn’t really up to the harsh environment of hive life, and had become a muddy pile of soggy lumps. She told me it was her only friend, and she really wanted her back. Then, she described it in such perfect detail I decided to try shapeshifting again.” “Into a fluffy pink pillow?” “Yes.” “Wow… now, that I can’t picture.” “Oh, well here.” In another bright flash of green light I leapt into the air and shifted. My body scrunched up into a soft fluffy pink rectangle roughly the same size as Spike. Lacy white ridges popped out around the edges. Intricate embroidered flowers flashed into existence across my back. I landed on four short thin little lacy legs with a silent fluff. “Tada!” I said in a tiny high pitched voice as the glowing chains clattered to the ground around me, disappearing as they burst into purple mist. Spike's jaw dropped. “The other day! That pillow was you!” I blinked at him through little oval embroidered holes, and smiled with a lacy mouth as I haughtily rubbed a lacy fist on my immaculately hoof stitched chest. “Pretty cool huh? Spikes are a basic skill, tuning them is an elite skill, but you won’t ever see another changeling pull this one off! This skill is all mine. Like an ultimate!” I squeaked with pride. Spike fell onto the floor, laughing hysterically. “Shatter! Oh, my Celestia! You… only you! You look ridiculous!” “Hay! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get this kind of fluffy perfect!?” I jumped up and down ‘pomph-pomph’ for emphasis. “Shatter! You’re the only one who can pillow fight as the pillow!” Spike rolled around laughing so hard he lost the ability to breath. “That’s not true! Sweetie Belle can too…” I glared daggers at him. Which made things worse, but it was at least satisfying to see him gasping desperately for breath between fits of laughter. Spike’s eyes went wide as something suddenly dawned on him. “Wait, you were with Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo the other day! That pillow was you, wasn’t it?” “I don’t wanna talk about!” I glared fluffy little daggers at him. “I’m still trying to forget that day…” Spike exploded into another round of laughter. “Okay, I get it. Here it may be funny, but back at the hive it was really impressive, okay? Feelia would use me as a pillow for hours, and it made her happy. Mission accomplished.” I flashed back into my normal form. Spike pounded at the floor. I half expected him to pass out, his face turning red from lack of breathing. I smiled, chuckling a little, it felt good to be back out of those chains, and have a little fun. “I hope you die laughing…” Spike stood up, finally catching his breath, and extended a claw. “I swear I’m gonna bite it off!” I shied away. “Do not…” He plodded closer, snickering uncontrollably, and scratched behind an ear. “Good boy!” As expected, my hind hoof began thumping at the ground. “Oh, good, I was worried it wouldn’t work in this form.” “...pet me…” I glared at him sideways. “I cannot properly communicate my hatred for you right now.” “Because you love it!” He fell back onto the floor, choking on his own mirth. “But if you somehow figure out how to properly communicate your hatred for me, please, say it in your ultimate form!” I held the glare, my eye twitching, until finally a mirthful ball of pressure rolled up my throat, and burst out in a loud guffaw. “Diminutive drake!” I joined him, rolling and laughing as Spike dragged me further out of my depressive slump. “Cowardly critter!” “Gem gnawing grunt!” “Frosted freak!” I gasped, looking around frantically, and jumped to my hooves. “Spike!! That was private, you weren’t supposed to see that!” “Hah, how could I not? I’ve been bored out of my mind watching you all think at each other all day. Pinkie licking you clean, and mumbling ‘creamy, creamy frosting’ was about the the only highlight.” He smirked at me. “Oh, by the way-” He polished a claw on his chest, as he stretched out on the floor, his head propped up on an elbow. “-looks like I win.” Suddenly I remembered the game. “Curse you livingwell lizard!” I shook a threatening hoof at him. We joined each other in another good laugh. Spike holding his stomach doubled over, and me with my head down trying to catch a breath in between uncontrollable bouts of mirth. “Thanks, Spike. I really needed this.” I grinned over at him. “I knew I could count on your friendship. I owe you one.” Spike slapped a cheek. “I can’t feel my face!” With some effort, he brought his snickers under control, looking a bit dizzy as he continued. “Oh, and you owe me way more than one after covering for you this last week. Wasn’t my fault they figured out what you were.” He rolled his eyes at me. “They found out because you ran into a wall? Really? Does the hive train changelings to be as bad as you?” “Oh, haha.” I returned the eyeroll. “Look, I get it. I should have listened to you, and just come clean from the start.” I ground my hooves together. “I was afraid of how they would react.” I glanced at the kitchen door, it was glowing faintly light blue. “Looks like my fears weren’t unfounded.” Spike stayed quiet for a while. So, I stretched out on the floor as he focussed on breathing and studying his toes. Just before I could speak up, he cut me off. “So, Shatter, you know I’m not a pony.” I cocked a curious eye ridge in his direction. “Oh really? I thought something was off with the slight lack of fur, and the awkward posture. Oh yeah, and the fire breathing. Can’t forget that.” Spike ignored my sarcasm. “Look Shatter, from one magical creature to another, I can understand how inner natures can be a real pain.” He fidgeted uncomfortably. “A while ago I kinda messed up, and let my greedy dragon nature get the better of me. You see, it was my birthday, and everypony was giving me presents. One thing led to another, and my hoarding instincts kicked in. I kinda leveled half the town, and started looting anything shiny.” I gasped. “You’re so small, how?” “That’s where the magical part comes in. The more I hoarded, the bigger I grew. It wasn’t long before I was taller than a building.” He brushed his cheek with a claw and a deep sigh. “If it weren’t for Rarity, I would have been taken over by it. Who knows, I could be destroying pony towns all over Equestria right now. She reminded me of who I was. She’s got a knack for seeing through others, knowing what they want, and helping them in ways they would never expect.” “Anyway, after destroying half the town, ponies really feared me for a while. A lot of them would say things like ‘what if it happens again’, and ‘what if next time he really hurts somepony’. Some wanted me to leave, and a lot of them would avoid me.” “Your own hiv...home feared you?” I whispered breathlessly. “I-I know how that feels…” I gritted my teeth in empathy as I listened, riveted. My hoof crossed between us to rest on his shoulder. “Yeah, little ol’ me.” He smirked and brushed my hoof off, then began to chuckle. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. I learned something that day. Nopony’s perfect, Shatter, and we all make mistakes. If you are honest with others, talk with them, and show them you are a good person inside, the fear starts going away. You make friends, and they will tell others you are a good person, or argue with anypony who says you aren’t. Eventually, everypony will start seeing you as a friend, and not some monster.” He looked over at me, and I was stunned by the wave of confidence that shone through his eyes, his claws balled into determined quakey fists of dragonly passion. ”Shatter, let them know you aren’t just some drone here to suck the love from ponyville! They don’t fear you, they are protecting Pinkie. Prove they can trust you! Be her bug in shining armor.” He pointed a commanding claw at my nose. “Never give up! Show them who you really are! Do it for Pinkie!” My body flooded with tingly chills, I could feel my confidence returning as the last remnants of my fear and doubt receded. “You proved you were a good person as Shattered ‘Dreamy’ Dreams the pony.” Spike crossed his arms haughtily. “Now do it again as the real you, Shattered ‘Dreamy’ Dreams the changeling. You can’t change what you are, but you can be whoever you want to be, and I want to be Spike the generous! Friend to everypony, and awesome assistant extraordinaire!” I barked out a laugh, completely caught up in the moment. “Fair enough! And I want to be Dreamy the friendly changeling, story teller, and hive to Pinkie pie!” We shared a good laugh, but I couldn’t quite shrug off the weight of the situation. “What of the towns ponies, though?” I looked down at the floor in worried thought, tapping my chin with a hoof. “They all fear me too, and I don’t have friends behind me like you do, Spike.” Spike flipped a claw. “Pffttt, you got me! And what about Pinkie, Fluttershy, and the others?” Rarity trotted out of the kitchen door before I could reply, letting it swing shut. A flurry of scattering hooves echoed behind her. She glanced at me as she walked past. “We will take care of the towns ponies should the time come, Shattered Dreams. If you worried about what everypony thought about you, you would lose sight of who you are. Stop fretting over such trivialities, and focus on the ponies who matter. The friends who lost their trust in you.” She turned to Spike, and kissed him on the cheek. “Spikey wikey, you are so caring and dependably sweet! Now, let’s get out of here.” She picked up a shocked Spike by the scruff of his neck, and glanced at me sideways, muffling around her mouthful of dragon something incomprehensible as she helped hold him aloft with her magic. I stared after them. Was that worry in her eyes? I shook it off, and chuckled. Spike was in too much shock to do anything other than curl up into a ball as Rarity made swiftly for the door, her head arched back like a cat carrying a huge kitten. I smirked, and made a mental note to tease Spike about his own pet status when he returned. Then the kitchen door swung open, slamming against the wall. Twilight pranced out, an enormous grin on her face as she looked every which way but me. Her head jerked from one angle to the next, eyes darting about dramatically studying the room. She made an inspection of each shelf, the desk, the ceiling, and finally the floor as she trotted around humming to herself. “Well the library looks exactly the way we left it. No problems, nothing out of place, nothing broken, nothing cut in half. Oh…” She paused. “What’s this?” She glanced down dramatically at the two halves of book on the floor by my hooves. I gasped. “Wow, you really are thorough in your inspections! I would have never of thought to specifically look for a book that had been cut in half!” Her eye twitched. “Princess, this book is damaged and needs magical repair.” I stated matter of factly as I picked it up, and held it out to her with a helpful smile. Twitch, twitch...twitch-twitch-twitch… I cleared my throat, feeling slightly uncomfortable as she stared at me. “Uhm...Twiligh…” “Princess!” Twiwiwiwiwitch... “Oh right, sorry...uhm, princess? I uhh, think you are doing the the crazy, twitch, delusional stare thing again...you know, the one Fluttershy, uhm…” I looked at the kitchen door. Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack were all staring at me from the doorway. I noticed, with no small amount of muted elation, that Pinkie’s hair was fluffy again. I also noticed they were all now covered in the love goo I had soaked her in. And finally I noticed their expressions were creased with worry. I looked back to Twilight when it was apparent nopony was going to help me. Twilight also had a few smatterings of love goo on her. One such patch was dripping down her cheek. Twitch...twitch-twitch. “I’m sorry I broke your book.” I grinned nervously. “Please...forgive me?” A yellow cord magically popped into existence next to her head. Suddenly, I felt as if I was shrinking, and she was growing impossibly large as she loomed over me. “Damage fee…” She whispered through her toothy grin, her eyes glaring down at me, bathed in the demonic glow of purple magic emanating from her horn that sucked the light from the room, and reflecting menacingly off her pupils. “I don’t have your measurements in this form...yet.” I screamed. As a changeling, in changeling form with full emotional control over my actions. Oh dear Chrysalis how I screamed... > Ch4-1: Airborne Love! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The night was in full swing. Starlight filtered in through the windows to help the candle on Twilight’s desk illuminate the room. Rarity had returned with Spike piled high with sandwiches, fruits, and other assorted foods. The dragon practically floated across the room, set the makeshift picnic up in a whirlwind of movement, and promptly dropped from exhaustion. He reluctantly retired upstairs since it was past his bedtime. Consequently, Rarity had been too preoccupied for me to follow up further on what she had meant earlier. Deep down it was eating at me, and I was wondering what exactly I was supposed to do that I had so obviously missed. Even if I was mad at her and didn’t understand, I knew Spike was right. There had to be more to it. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were sitting off to the side eating a few sandwiches, and whispering to themselves. They had ignored me for the most part. Except, Applejack kept glancing my way. She seemed curious, and it appeared to be bothering her to no end, but she politely kept her distance for the time being. Twilight mulled over her notes for the day with Fluttershy, the two of them huddled around the candle going back over my recount to check for errors or oddities of any kind. They had yet to find any. I had stayed to myself, but was pleasantly surprised when Pinkie trotted over to feed me. I reveled in the waves of love that passed in through my horn, little tingles of her amazing flavor rolling around my craw as I slowly began to lose myself to her intoxicating presence. She told me an agreement had been reached to which all present would stand guard over me tonight so we could spend some time together. I was ecstatic that they would allow us the privilege to be together like that. I shifted into Dreamy for her so she could be more comfortable and warm. Pinkie simply snuggled into me quietly as we lay against the furthest wall from the door. I missed my cubby comb, but Pinkie made the floor rather inviting as she shifted every which way to close each little gap between us. “I thought she would just repair it…” I intoned absent mindedly as Pinkie squeezed me protectively. I eyed Twilight with furtive little glances of disdain which she returned in kind, looking up over her notes periodically to keep reminding me she was still mad. “How was I supposed to know about damage fees?” I turned to Pinkie, startled by a sudden thought. “Does everypony have to pay damage fees?” “Of course silly, it’s a library.” She giggled. “Wow…” I sighed. Pinkie stopped in thought for a moment, looked like she was about to add something, but then shook it off, and ran her hoof through my mane. “Dreamy you sure love punishment. You’re always begging for it!” “I don’t ever remember begging for punishment. I’m rather averse to pain and suffering, thank you!” The others in the room giggled in response, rolling their eyes in rejection of my shrugging claim to innocence. “You’re welcome! Anyway, you know I’ll always be there to make you feel alllll better, right?” She looked at me with wide eyed expectation over an ear to ear grin. “Uhm…” I considered my options. This question posed the problem of either emasculating myself and possibly making Pinkie happy, or the contrary on both accounts. Though, I wasn’t sure if I could appear any more weak in front of the others at this point. Making Pinkie smile was something I enjoyed, and perhaps… Being lost in thought on the matter, it was quite a while before I noticed the room bobbing up and down, and a few more second before I organize my thoughts enough to understand what was happening. Pinkie was nodding my head yes for me. “See! See! He does love me!” She let out a high pitched series of giggles punctuated by the occasional snort. I loved her little snorts… Wait! This is far worse on my already tarnished outward ponysona! I had to think fast, I needed to salvage the situation, but what could I do? Pinkie came under control of her giggles, the rest of her friends stared at me with no small amount of mirth. Except Twilight, who was frowning at me under a glowing horn, but I couldn’t find any target. Her quill and notepad were laying on the table next to her. I shook my head, refocusing on my current predicament. I looked over to see a face full of Pinkie. We were nose to nose. Her eyes narrowed mischievously. “What’cha thinkin’?” “Oh, uhm, I was analyzing…” “Boooring! We haven’t got enough time to be thinking silly!” Pinkie rolled me over, her hooves hovered over my belly in anticipation. “Who’s my good boy?” My ears perked up. “I ammm…m-m-mean this is not a good time Pinkie! Don’t you think we should be serious about…” “No! We’re on break. Duh!” She giggled. “Besides, I’m the only mare with a special somepony who’s part dog!” “Still, I don’t think… wait, dog… what?” Her lips widened into a grin. “Whos my Dreamy?” I scrunchy faced in resistance. I threw every ounce of willpower into it I could muster. “I’m not…” “Whooose my Dreeaamy?” I could feel my face flush as my willpower snapped. I’m sure I grinned like an idiot. “Me! I’m your Dreamy!” “Yay!” Pinkie tackled me, scratching all over my belly as I kicked wildly and wriggled back and forth. “See! Everything's easier if you just accept who you are, and go with it! Stop pretending to be a pony, and just be Dreamy.” I wanted to hide. The embarrassment was eating me alive, but I couldn’t help it. The call of the belly rubs was just too much! I involuntarily shifted back into my changeling form. If it’s what made Pinkie happy, then that was good enough for me. Besides, being expected to just be myself felt good for a change. My tongue lolled out, my legs kicked, my eyes rolled back, and the room began spinning as I swiftly filled up with the most delectable love in all the world. Perhaps a little too much. Pinkie squeed. “There it is!” I looked at her dumbfounded as she stopped scratching my belly, pinned me down, and began licking my chest. “Uhm… Pinkie?” I froze, uncertain if this was something she wanted to do in front of others. Especially since she had wanted to keep it secret earlier. “Pinkie!? What are you doing?” Rarity looked on in disgust. “I completely understand your frustration of being kept apart for so long, but please show some self control, dear, there are others in the room.” Pinkie looked up, licking little yellow specks off her lips. “Oh, did you want some too?” Rarity’s jaw dropped. “E-excuse me?” “Oh, come on, it’s super delicious!” Pinkie worked her tongue up to my neck. I looked down at myself. I was covered in little splotches of yellow powder. My breath caught in my throat. “Not this again...” Twilight eyed me, her brow furrowing a little deeper. “I knew it!” She moved forward, her head lowered. “Get away from him Pinkie!” I struggled out from under Pinkie, and flipped over onto my hooves as Twilight approached with her glowing horn lowered cautiously. “What did I do this time?” I backpedaled. “B-b-but! I just wanted some dessert!” Pinkie pouted, as she clamped protectively onto my neck, pulling me forward from my retreat. “He didn't do anything!” Applejack stared wide eyed at me. “Shatter, what is that stuff?” “I-I don’t know! It happens sometimes. It’s never happened before I came to Ponyville.” I couldn’t stop nervously grinning. It was always something. It was always some little thing out of my control that suddenly ruined everything. I pulled harder, intent on dragging Pinkie with me, but the mares flanks seemed glued to the floor. Twilight’s horn grew brighter. To my creeping horror, I realized I was surrounded by a faint purple glow. “I have a pretty good idea of what it is. There is a thick layer of magic all around you, Shattered Dreams, and it’s getting thicker. In fact it’s already permeated the whole room.” “So what!?” Pinkie shot back frantically. “There is always some kind of crazy magic around you, Twilight! Dreamy is a magical creature… of course he’s going to have magic, silly! Maybe he just has so much it sweats out?” “Not now, Pinkie!” Rarity stepped forward. “Twilight, what is it?” My heart was pounding in my ears, my body felt like it was being sucked into some void in the floor below my hooves, dragging me down on weak knees to some abyss that was Tartarus bent on making my life impossible. I gave up trying to pull away, and leaned into Pinkie. An argument broke out as Pinkie jumped in front of me, walling off the others. Consequently, my support gone, I dropped to the floor. I watched on in silence as Pinkie defended me, her pink little nose scrunched up angrily towards her hive. She pounded the floor with her hoof. If only I could be that passionate… Everything that was Pinkie, and it never ceased to amaze me, was always so passionate. I thought about it every day, many times a day, and it still left me awestruck. Whether she was doing her silly little antics, or reading my mind to find that one thing that could make me smile no matter what my mood was, she always chased away the pain. She brought feeling to my life… not just the food kind. And now she was standing against her friends, fighting with that scrunchied angry sad muzzle. So passionate… Twilight shouted over the rest. “Listen, I’ve caught him red hoofed this time! I don’t know much about changelings, and there’s next to no real books anywhere that cover their abilities, but I do know the yellow dots on his carapace are made of the same stuff as the liquid love. Except, it’s also airborne!” “We’re breathing it?” Rarity gasped in shock. “Yes!” Twilight glared at me. “I’ve figured you out Shatter. You dust the room with that love to manipulate ponies!” Everypony gasped. Even Pinkie stepped back a second, a look of confusion flashed across her muzzle. “Dreamy?” I stared on in horror, fixated on the pony of my dreams suddenly doubting me. She shook her head in a pink blur of denial. “No! Dreamy wouldn’t do that to us! Not on purpose anyway. There has to be an explanation.” She stared at me, begging for something, anything. I gazed back into glistening eyes over a pouty quivering little lip. I could feel my heart cracking. Twilight cut in before I could open my mouth. Not that I could say anything anyway as the icy clutches of panic had already gripped my body. “It explains everything.” Twilight’s voice lowered to a steady calm. A small vial of love goo magically popped into existence next to her so she could eye the contents. “It didn’t take much to realize what effects the liquid love has. Mild elation, noticeable changes in mood, dilated pupils, and an elevated heart rate, but nothing that would ever be noticeable unless they knew what to look for. If I’m right, this stuff endears whoever breaths it to the changeling. It causes the sudden need for a pony to like him. Take Fluttershy for example. She would never invite a stranger to stay in her home. Strangers are dangerous, especially ones that crawled out of the Everfree, but she immediately accepted Dreamy without hesitation.” Fluttershy looked at me, concern etched over her features. “B-b-but he was so cold and lonely. He just reminded me so much of a poor lost and injured animal. I couldn’t help myself…” “Exactly!” Twilight grinned haughtily. “You made up any excuse to deny your fear of strangers to accept him. I believe that’s how it works. You treated him like an animal, because that’s what your brain had to do to accept the situation. It’s addicting because it makes you happy, and the more love you feed him, the more dust he rewards you with. You instantly begin to crave more of it. That magical dust makes ponies desperate to accept him, get closer to him, and keep him around.” Fluttershy gasped, taking a step back as her brow furrowed. “Mr. Dreams, how could you?” I shook my head, trying in vain to defend myself as Twilight cut me off again. “Then there was me.” She stepped forward, glaring me down. “I made a complete fool of myself, ignored all of the warning signs that something was off about you, and even created excuses for why you couldn’t possibly be a changeling even after you told me you were! I had to be in that state of mind excitedly jumping from one conclusion to another, or else I would have easily figured you out.” Rarity huffed at me. “Of course! Magic. It all makes perfect sense now. It was an impressive masquerade, fiend, but nopony will buy into your lies any longer!” “Wait!” I pleaded. PInkie was biting her lip. I could see her mind racing as she tried desperately to grasp the situation. A smirk spread across Twilight’s lips. “And then there is Pinkie.” My heart clenched, a stabbing pain in my chest as my panicked breathing became heavier and heavier. “Pinkie loves sweets. Her favorite hobby is baking pastries and cakes. I’m not surprised she finds you so delicious.” I knew I should run, that it was all over, but my hooves were glued to the floor. My legs felt numb. Twilight took another step forward, glaring into me. Pinkie stared at me, her eyes still begging for answers. “P-please…” I stammered. “...stop! I didn’t know!” Dash flapped upwards to hover over Twilight, trying to get a better look at me. “Hay! What kind of crazy plot did that stuff make me…” She paused, the color drained slightly from her cheeks. “...oh, wait. All those nights where I blacked out and woke up next to you. Shatter, I’m going to break you if you…” “...lyin’” Came the faint thoughtful statement from the back. Everypony stopped for a second. “What Applejack?” Twilight looked back, her lips still curled up triumphantly. “I said,” Applejack took in a long deep breath, and sighed exasperatedly, “it doesn’t make any sense, because he just ain’t lyin’.” The smile fell from Twilight’s lips. “What?” “In fact, I don’t think he lied once through that whole story of his. If’n it all was true, which you said it was, he didn’t outright lie even once! Trust me, I was hound doggin’ for it the whole time.” She removed her hat and rubbed at a temple. “I cain’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t believe he really tried to hurt anypony in the first place.” “Applejack! He attacked me not more than an hour ago!” Rarity shook her head. “He’s a dangerous wild animal! Have you forgotten?” “How could we?” Dash snorted. “You egged him on! We already know he’s wild. You can’t go up to a timber wolf, kick him in the jaw, and not expect him to rip your throat out.” “That is no excuse to be a brute.” Fluttershy interjected over a frown. “And! It does not excuse anypony for being manipulative!” She harshly stated in a soft tone while glaring at me. “Okay. Hold on ya’ll.” Applejack threw up a hoof. “Now I get how the stuff made Twi into a knowledge crazed lunatic, of course Fluttershy got all critter-giddy over there, Dash… well we won’t go there, and it ain’t hard to figure out Pinkies reaction, but if this stuff is so magical then how’d it affect me and...” She paused, and her ears drooped as something dawned on her. “Ah… I get it. That stuff really does play with hearts don’ it.” “Oh, darling. He got to all of us didn’t he…” Rarity threw her hooves around Applejack’s neck. “Deep breaths. Let it out.” Applejack took a few deep breaths. “I feel sick…” She whispered. Twilight turned on me, anger in her voice as she stepped forward past Pinkie. “Shatter, you are too dangerous…” I shut out the rest of her tirade. I couldn’t bring myself to care as my eyes fixated on Pinkie, and the sadness that was rolling off of her in thick sickening waves. “Say something.” Pinkie was staring at me, her mouth sounding out the words silently. “Anything!” Her eyes pleaded. My hoof reached out towards her shoulder, rising up hesitantly, but she shied away. Her head dropped slowly to stare at the floor. The clamor around us became far off and muffled as she turned from me. My vision blurred green. Then, something snapped with a loud crack! “Enough!” The word echoed through the room. Twilight’s jaw was still moving, but the diatribe had been lost from her lips. Everypony was quiet. They stared at me, shock in their eyes as I glanced around startled. It took me a moment longer to realize I had actually said it, and it wasn’t all in my head. I was slightly dizzy from the vehemency of the shout, and my hoof ached from slamming into the floorboards. I took a deep breath. The apprehension chilling its way down my back was quickly incinerated by a rising wave of indignant anger. Pressure built up behind my eyes, and my teeth ached for a fight. I’d had more than enough! “I called you my friends!” I gritted my teeth as I looked across my audience, and eventually leveled on Twilight. “I thought friendship meant something. You took me in and made promises to help me when I was scared and lost. You became my hive! And now you all doubt me, or persecute me not because I actually did anything to hurt anypony, but because of what I am. A changeling…” I glared over at Rarity. “A monster. Well this ‘monster’ found love, and now you are all ruining that! I can’t change what I am. I can’t justify what I feel for Pinkie, because I don’t know how! If I could prove it, I would!” I turned to Fluttershy. “I’m sorry about the dust. I had no clue, and I can’t help it, but I didn’t force you to do anything.” She slunked away a little. “I didn’t force any of you to be my friends! And, obviously the dust isn’t that manipulating because you are all very clearly making your own decisions to destroy any chance Pinkie and I could have at happiness. Which I, obviously, have absolutely no control over!” “You chose to be my friends on your own, just like you are all choosing to turn on me now. You’re demanding I justify my actions as a changeling when those actions were already acceptable as a pony. If I was a pony I could scream tribalists at every one of you!” “But... I’m not a pony anymore, am I?” The statement rocked me to the core, and sucked the fight out of me. I thought I’d gotten over this, but I guess no changeling ever truly moves on. It’s why we have so many drones. I stared down as green drops dripped down my muzzle to patter onto the floor. “I’ve had enough... You are holding me captive, demanding I prove my motivation for loving Pinkie, and I’m probably not even going to survive long enough to enjoy it with her even if you do approve. What is the point of proving anything to any of you when you can just turn on me on a whim, anyway?” “Shatter, wait...” Twilight stepped forward. “Shut up!” I growled at her. “You’re the worst. Analyzing me like some stupid and dangerous beast without ever giving a plot about who I really am. I don’t know how ponies love. I don’t even really know how I love. I don’t know how to prove it to you, because I don’t know how to define it! I just want to be happy… with Pinkie. Isn’t that good enough? Am I not allowed to be happy because I’m different? Because I have odd magic that makes ponies happy? Is it so wrong for me to love a pony, or is it just wrong because you all see me as some freak?” I didn’t care that I was crying. I didn’t care what that meant. None of it mattered anymore as the glowing streams of green blood trickling from my eyes thickened. I wanted to be done with it all. I let the tears flow. Twilight stepped forward frantically. “Wait, Shatter! Stop crying!” She lifted my head. I was surprised to see genuine panic in her eyes. “Shatter, stop it! I’m sorry! Please, don’t do this!” She turned to Pinkie in panic. “Pinkie! Do something! If he cries it will kill him!” I slapped her hoof away. “Do any of you really care?” I slammed the floor with my hoof again. “I don’t even care! I’ve already died once anyway!” My brain scrambled as Pinkie missiled into me. We hung in the air for an eternity as I watched the ceiling creep by. Dropplets from my cheeks arched up and floated above us in slow motion. All it ever took was one hug, and my world gained new perspective every time. I had no idea how she did it. In all the world there wasn’t a single moment I anticipated more than this. If I were to live for one pony, it had to be Pinkie, and if I were to live for one thing, it had to be all the love that came with her hugs. It permeated through me, instantly repairing the cracks in my heart. I closed my eyes, and lost myself in that sweet embrace as I slipped my hooves around her. In that moment I lived for, “Parfait…” > Ch4-2: For the Sake of Friendship > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have to admit. I was shocked that Twilight had known crying will kill changelings. I half-heartedly made a mental note to ask her how she knew, but for now I had more pressing concerns. Pinkie was still wrapped around me, pinning me to the floor. She whispered into my ear, “don’t you love me, Dreamy?” “Yes, I…” Her head lifted in a blur as she locked eyes with me. Very angry eyes under her suddenly straight flat mane. “Then why would you give up now when I need you more than ever!” She pressed hard into me, muzzle to muzzle, our noses bridging the gap for her tears to tickle their way down my cheeks. I heard Rarity harumph disapprovingly from the background. I had no answer. The thought of her wanting me alive, or even my love for her hadn’t had any real bearing on whether or not I wanted to be alive. If I was dying anyway… “It doesn’t matter if you are dying!” I could swear she could read my mind sometimes. “We are all going to die someday. What matters is how much fun you have before then. I want to have fun with you every day I can!” Her voice lowered. “I want your smiles, and your snuggles. I want every moment, Dreamy.” She sniffled. “I love the way you laugh at my silly jokes when others are too busy to hear me, or understand, and I love the silly way you always take everything I say so seriously.” “But, I thought you’d given up on me…” “I’m confused!” She blasted at me, rattling my sensitive sensors. “I’d like you to be there when my brain gets unfuddled!” I brushed my hooves along her cheeks. The tears trickled down my forelegs in shiny little obsidian black rivers. “Everything is so painful. I’m tired of pain. There’s no escape from it, and when I look back on my life in it’s entirety all I see is pain. I can’t remember being happy for long. The sadness always comes back, and it hurts so bad it wipes away the good memories. I can feel it eating away at me. Even when I know I shouldn't be in pain, everything still hurts. It hurts just to be alive, and then with all of my friends turning on me..." I trailed off. I couldn’t look her in the eye anymore, the guilt written in my eyes was mirroring back at me from the depths of her pupils. “Then live every day with me! Share your pain, and I’ll share my happy. I’ll smile enough for the both of us, but I can’t do that without you.” Her lips pulled back into a shaky frown. She winced with a wet sniffle, and strained, her teeth clenching. After a moment she let out a blast of breath, and went limp, her head on my shoulder as she burst into sobbing wails. “I lost my smile!” What was wrong with me? Wasn’t this what I’d always wanted? To be loved, to have friends, to be happy? Happiness was in my hooves fighting for me this whole time, and all I had to do was step up to grab hold and never let it go! I feel so useless... Everypony stood around us silently. Finally after agonizing moments of Pinkie wailing in my forehooves, she quieted down to soft sniffles. Twilight stepped forward. Her cheeks were matted from tears. She took a deep long breath, and sighed out as she extended her wings. "Shatter, I earned my wings through the magic of friendship. I wasn't foolish enough to think I'd learned everything about friendship, but it was kinda hard to really find anything I'd missed." She cleared her throat awkwardly. "Today I learned something new. It’s not always obvious why we treat others the way we do, and often times they may not deserve it, but I’m ashamed to say that I treated you badly based on my experiences with changelings in the past. You see, everypony here fought in Canterlot when the changelings attacked. Chrysalis manipulated and used both my brother, and my sister-in-law in horrible ways. She even captured my mentor Princess Celestia, and stuffed her in a slimy green cocoon. The changelings not only attacked me, but also my friends, and they hurt everypony who was dear to me." She choked on her words, gritting her teeth as a new stream of tears poured their way down her cheeks. "They hurt so many ponies, Shatter, and after I saw what they did to Cadence..." Her eyes narrowed as she stamped the floor. "Maybe I just wanted some answers. I secretly thought maybe I could get those answers out of you, because you grew up with them. Then, when I found out you were a changeling, I didn't feel like I needed to worry about the boundaries of our friendship anymore. I didn't have to be nice. I could just study you, but Pinkie loved you so I couldn't just..." She grunted in frustration, and stared at the floor. "I forgot you actually did help ponies during your stay here. Everything you did to learn how to fit in, and help others suddenly didn't matter. You became just another invading changeling, and I was determined to figure out how you were manipulating everypony into liking you. When I made the connection with the dust, it felt like all the pieces were fitting into place, and everything I suspected was true. It felt good, because it was easier to hate you for being a changeling than accept you as a friend, because every time I look at you I remember Canterlot, the changelings attacking wave after wave, my brother, and Cadences bruises, and my friends fighting..." She broke down completely, her wings drooping to the sides. "It's still hard to see you as Shattered Dreams our friend, and not another monster attacking ponies to suck the love out of them..." She took another deep breath. “No matter what the reasons were, though, there isn’t any excuse for how I treated you. You are our friend, and I never thought anything could ever make me forget that. I’m sorry, Shatter, I’m still just…” She trailed off. Applejack interjected. “...workin’ through things, sugarcube. There’s a lot of confusing thoughts rolling around right now, and pony’s emotions are runnin’ high. Just, give us some time…” Twilight nodded, and scuffed lightly at the floor. “Yeah… time…” I couldn't speak. The pain rolling off of everypony in the room at that moment was palpable. None of them could make eye contact with me. After many agonizingly awkward moments I was able to whisper. "Pinkie? How..." I stuttered. The question was terrifying to ask. "Ho-how do you... feel about, uhm..." She sighed. "I was scared at first a little, but then I remembered all those times you'd made me laugh, and how you've always cared. Then there was always the hugs. Evil meanies don't give good hugs, so you can't be an evil meanie, right? There are bad changelings just like there are bad ponies. Just because one pony is bad doesn't mean all of us are, and just because almost every single changeling I've ever met has tried to hurt me doesn't mean that there isn't at least one good changeling in the world." She gave a half-hearted attempt at being energetic. "If there's only one, then I'm sure glad he's my Dreamy!" She leaned into me with a yawn. Once again, while all the others were still having trouble looking me in the eye, Pinkie accepted me for everything I am, changeling and all. I looked up at Twilight, and suddenly, for once, I wasn’t just tasting everypony’s emotions, I was empathising with them. “I… I understand. I actually really understand! I did the same thing when I came to Ponyville. I expected everypony to be a bloodthirsty killer, or at the very least warlike. I watched Ponies slaughter my hi… family…” “Oh dear Celestia…” Applejack winced. “How’d you ever get past that…” Dash whipped her mane back and forth. "Gyaah! I can’t take the drama anymore!” She stepped forward past Twilight. “Look, I’m not speaking for everypony here, but I think you’re a pretty cool guy S.D., and I’ve always thought that. I haven’t got any clue what’s really going on with your crazy wild love magic, and I gotta be honest, I wouldn’t mind kicking in a few more changeling flanks.” “Dash!” Came a chorus of chides. “What? Seriously, I’m not going to lie to him. I was there right along with Twi and the rest of you, I get it! I guess I felt… feel that way too, but what it comes down to is that I like S.D., and at the end of the day, that’s all I really need to call him friend.” She smirked. “Now, don’t think for a second I’m going to let you off on the whole love dust thing, though I can’t fault anypony for using every trick up their sleeve to impress me. But, if you can forgive me for being a bit blind, I’m not one to just let my friends go so easily. I’d grab some hard cider with you anytime.” She extended a hoof for a bump. “We cool?” “It took me weeks to get over the fact you were all ponies.” I actually laughed as I met her hoof half way. “You did it a lot faster...” “Well, you put up a darn good fight when cornered.” Applejack snickered, her hat down over her eyes as she quickly wiped away an offending tear. “Look, ahm not sayin’ I get the whole picture yet, and I’m still a bit mad at ya over what all happened, but just thinkin’ about you given up on life like that… it kinda hurts, S.D. Bein’ angry at a pony don’t mean they suddenly aren’t a friend anymore. It just means you got some words to say, and some feelin’s to pound out. I would have given any of my friends the benefit of the doubt if’n they were covered in love dust or whatever that stuff is. That magic cain’t be any worse than what Twilight’s done to this town with her magic anyway.” She cleared her throat. “I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is, I’d drink some cider with ya anytime, too.” “Thanks Applejack!” I felt so much lighter all of a sudden. I glanced around, hoping the others were also coming around when I noticed that Fluttershy looked absolutely miserable. “Fluttershy, it’s okay, I really do understand…” “No!” Her eyes shot wide. “No, Mr. Dreams. I never once thought of you in that way, and I’ve had a lot longer to adjust to your being a changeling than the others…” She trailed off as everypony’s gaze went from attention to disbelieving stare. “Fluttershy, you knew?” Rarity balked. “How did you…” “Oh, I really was worried at how everypony might react.” She hid behind her mane, and gently twiddled a hoof on one of the floorboards. “Please, don’t be mad.” Twilight shook her head, trying to make sense of the situation. “Fluttershy, how long have you known?” I smiled. She really had kept my secret, even through the interrogation. “Well, uhm, since his second day in Ponyville.” She glanced around guiltily, her eyes darting from one friend to another pleading for vindication. “How did you figure that out so quickly?” Twilight’s mouth kept moving in disbelief after the question. “Well, he did kinda build a, uhm…” She looked at me for confirmation. “Cubby comb?” I nodded affirmatively. “A cubby comb on my cellar ceiling. He also used to change back into a changeling when he fell asleep…” I interjected. “Which I have overcome!” I looked around in embarrassment. “I no longer shift in my sleep…” I trailed off as they all stared at me dumbfounded. Rarity took in a deep breath, and cleared her throat to gather attention. “Fluttershy, dear, if you knew this whole time, then why were you so mad about the dust?” “Oh, uhm, well I just think it’s a terrible thing to manipulate others, and I definitely don’t like being manipulated…” She looked at me suddenly, slightly panicked as she quickly followed up with. “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that you were trying to manipulate us! I understand now that you didn’t know it was happening. I’m so so sorry for jumping to conclusions like that Mr. Dreams, and I really like being your friend dust or no dust. It’s just I’ve been manipulated in the past, and it really hurts my feelings.” “Thank you for keeping my secret, Fluttershy, and I’m sorry for not having more faith in you as a friend. I should have known you wouldn’t just throw our friendship away like that.” I gritted my teeth. I honestly felt a little sick at forgetting our connection so quickly. “I guess I kinda just assumed that because every other pony was suddenly turning against me, you were just doing the same too.” “Oh, no, it’s my fault. I was so heartless.” Her lip quivered. “...and to think I drove you to su-su...” Rarity moved in to console Fluttershy, giving her a big hug. “I’m so sorry!” Rarity cut in before I could speak. “We are all at fault for being judgemental, dear.” Applejack scoffed as she eyed Rarity. “Yep! Aaalll… of us.” Rarity glared back. “What? So I’m a little passionate about my feelings. You were no prize pony yourself, Applejack. Don’t judge me!” She took a deep calming breath, and shifted her gaze towards me. “Anyway, I hope you accept my most humblest of apologies as I am also guilty of judging you based off of past experiences with your kind. I will try to rise above such horrendous faux pas moving forward. I would also like to commend you on your newfound passion, though I can’t really see you devoting yourself heart and soul to Pinkie with such a blase’ attitude towards life.” “Rarity! Now is hardly the time to be pickin’ a fight!” Applejack glared at her. Dash stepped towards her, shaking her head back in forth in disbelief. “What the hay Rarity? Don’t you ever give up? Seriously, what is too far with you?” I cut them off. “She’s right!” I went to pry Pinkie off, but she was thoroughly glued to me. “I do have a half flanked attitude towards life, and now I’ve gone and hurt the pony I love, and shortened what little time I have left. I just…” I stopped for a second, trying to find my words. “It’s hard to explain, but it all felt so final. Every one of you had made up your minds, and I didn’t see any hope...” Twilight nodded. “Minds can change.” She stamped the floor, her brow furrowing in determination. "Especially for friendship!" “And so can hearts!” Applejack nodded at me. “They’re right, Shattered Dreams, opinions are never set in stone. It just takes the right amount of passion, and determination to change them.” Rarity smiled kindly while punctuating her statement with an important hoof. “Uhm, however, I think everypony needs to remember that we can only do what our minds allow us to.” Everypony turned to Fluttershy as she continued absentmindedly. “If everypony here has past traumas regarding changelings, then I think we need to go forward with that in mind. It’s going to affect decisions, and judgements whether we like it or not.” “Wow, Fluttershy, that’s really insightful.” Twilight cocked her head to the side. Fluttershy looked around in surprise. “What? Oh my, did I say that outloud? I’m so used to my thought’s speaking for themselves over the channel now. I wasn’t even paying attention.” I nodded. “That’s exactly why I have no talent for lying. I’ve been on the channel for years.” Twilight let out a deep long sigh. “There are so many questions to ask. I’m torn between respecting you as a friend, and wanting to demand answers…” I looked long and hard at Twilight as I mulled her words, and the past days events over in my mind. I brushed a hoof through Pinkie’s mane, and chuckled as I noticed she was snoring softly. I couldn’t blame anypony anymore for thinking I was a monster. Not when I was guilty of doing the same to them. And with that thought I realized something new. Pinkie’s love wasn’t the only thing in my life worth fighting for. My friends had all been hurt by my brethren. Suddenly, I had something to prove. Changelings can be friends too! We need friends just as much as everypony else. “Perhaps, the real fight begins now…” “What?” Twilight raised a curious eyebrow. “Twilight, do you really consider me a friend now?” Her eyes dodged guiltily. “I do, but the feelings are still there.” “I understand. In fact I think I can guess your thought’s exactly on the matter.” I smiled halfheartedly at her, shaking off bad memories. “So, I will…” I hesitated, taking a deep breath for resolve. “I will answer your questions as best I can if you swear to me that the knowledge I pass on does not leave this room, and that you will not use it against the hive.” “What?” She gawked at me. “Seriously? All of them? I can ask anything?” I nodded. “Since you are my friend, I will trust you, but first, I would like to continue my story.” She stared a few more seconds in disbelief, then bolted across the room, and grabbed her notebook and quill with her magic. She jabbered off a slew of questions before I could take another breath. “Twilight!” Applejack shoved a hoof into her friends mouth. “Hush! I think it’s time for everypony to get some sleep before we all collapse.” Twilight looked around to take in the state of everypony present. I did as well, and was met by yawns and half vacant stares. Each one of them looked like they were ready to drop from exhaustion. In fact… so was I. I couldn’t remember ever feeling this tired. My face felt numb, and I could swear I was melting into the floor. My head felt too heavy to hold up. “Why?” Rarity gazed at me curiously. “Everypony has already admitted their faults, and nopony will question your right to be with Pinkie any further, Shattered Dreams. What can you possibly prove to us by continuing your story?” I blinked at her thoughtfully. “It’s not what I can prove to you so much as what I have to prove to myself. Changelings share memories to strengthen bonds so they can keep their sanity. I realized by your words that I need more of that. I want to remember exactly why I call you all friends as much as I want to remind you of why you called me friend to begin with. I need that strength.” I looked down at Pinkie who was sleeping silently against my chest. “For Pinkie…” “Hmmm…” She smiled, and nodded with an heir of satisfaction. “Sweet dreams, Shatter. I look forward to you bringing Pinkie’s smile back.” I watched her canter off to the other side of the room. That pony never ceased to confuse the ever loving plot out me... It all ended with Twilight agreeing that everypony should get some sleep, and that we all talk about it in the morning, which I was very thankful for. As the flurry of activity around me slowly faded I raised my ears instinctively. I guess a part of me missed the channel updates, and the old thrum of my hive would have been incredibly soothing right now. “...don’t give up…” The words whispered across my sensors. “...we have hope…” “I’m not alone?” I whispered, and smiled. There must be other lone fangs out here. I was too tired to contact them back with much at the moment. I communicated my feelings over the channel, and whoever they were answered with a chorus of soothing thrums. I sighed in relief. “Of course not…” Pinkie whispered back. I looked down to see that she was staring through half lidded eyes at me. “Just because everypony is upset, and unsure doesn’t mean...” “No, I mean…” Pinkie shushed me with a hoof. “You aren’t alone, and you never will be, because I love you...” She trailed off with a yawn. “Chase me through my dreams?” She nuzzled my nose. “I’d love to…” I shifted to get comfortable, and winced as pain radiated up and down my back. I’d lost a lot of blood from crying. I rested my head wearily onto her foreleg. “Are you going to be okay?” She whispered. “I don’t know. I only have so much blood, and I’m running out, I think. I don’t know if I even have enough to shapeshift anymore.” Pinkie sighed, stroking her hoof along the back of my neck. The pain ebbed off wherever her hoof roamed. She seemed to just know where the pain was, and chased it away instinctively. I could feel sadness, and a twinge of fear from her. I wanted to bring her smile back so desperately, but for now… sleep. I absent mindedly listened to the others bed down for the night. Dash had claimed the couch after winning a bit toss with Applejack. Rarity had popped a little tent in one corner for some privacy. I could hear Twilight shuffling up to her room with a vial of scavenged blood from the floor, muttering something about cellular analysis. Fluttershy had laid down next to me a few hooves away. Applejack had propped herself up against the door, and pulled her hat down to cover her eyes. It was a huge relief knowing that each of them had real reasons for turning on me like that. It meant that my magic hadn’t faked the friendship, and had suddenly fizzled when they found out. Though I found it odd that if they distrusted my magic so much, why hadn’t they cleaned off the little splotches of yellow love goo which had been slowly absorbing into their fur? I smiled faintly. It must not bother them that bad after all. It was a comforting thought as I drifted off to sleep. > Ch5: Memories > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sleep was empty, dark, and brief as usual. Morning came swiftly. The sun was filtering in through my eyelids, and I swiftly blocked it out with a hoof. I missed the dusky green darkness of the caves, but for all the fuzziness in my brain I was super excited to get back to recounting my tail, and it wasn’t long before my hoof padded around to find that Pinkie was very much gone from my forelegs. “Aaahh!” A splitting scream rattled me out of my half awake state. “Aaahh!” I answered. A pink fuzzy blob outlined by the library ceiling came into focus. Pinkie was staring down at me, her muzzle crinkled into a worried frown. It took a second before instinct kicked in. I attempted to jump up, but pain shattered through my side and down my leg. “Shatter, sit!” Pinkie pinned me down. "Twilight, glue stat!" Her words rolled around my head through the miasma of pain that was clouding my brain. My body froze save for little jerks timed with pulses of agony searing through my side. It started just below my right wing, and shot along a jagged path down the outside of my right front leg. My breaths came short and fast as my chest tightened from strain. Everypony had gathered around by now. Pinkie was still pinning me, her hooves clamped down on my chest and back as if to hold my shell together. My vision blurred again, the pain was ebbing off under a flow of fuzzy numbness. I could hear everypony freaking out in their own ways, but the details became as blurry as the pain. The world faded in a jumble of colorful ponies dancing frantically around me. My last glimpse was of Pinkie snatching a bottle of glue from Twilight, and Rarity pulling out some thread alarmingly attached to a thick carpet needle. It felt like the worst possible time to not be conscious. Fuzzy blackness... For some time there was nothing but the sweet embrace of the endless empty void of dreamless sleep far from crazy ponies with glue and scary sharp objects. I never was good at dreaming. Well, that’s not entirely true. I used to dream all the time. I loved the vivid fantasies that would entertain me from dusk till dawn, and would share them now and again with my friends. I used them to help my friends until they all turned into nightmares... Soo woozy... I caught the thought. Nightmares. I couldn’t remember if the dreams turned into nightmares, or my friends had. Maybe it was both. It felt like both. But that is how all changeling memories work. Dreams, hazy and distant, tickling the back of the mind in a misty thick shroud which always kept the full details just beyond the tip of a hoof. I winced as bright light flooded my vision. Suddenly, I was surrounded by an oddly familiar room. I glanced down to see myself in pony form lying on a couch. So it begins, I grumbled. I prepared myself. There were no good memories. So, as I watched the scene begin unfolding before me like an immersive theater all around, I knew this wasn’t going to be fun. || Play || The soft and sweet melody of my marefriend's voice snapped me awake. “Dreams!” My door thudded over and over again. “Dreams! Sweetie, wake up! We’re gonna be late.” I rolled over on my couch to glance at the time. The target of my fuzzy squinty eyed glare, a small alarm clock, lay on a cluttered coffee table before me decorated with thousands of colorful My Little Breezies stickers. Seven ten a.m… “Whoa! I’m up!” I thudded onto the floor in a flurry of hooves, leaped up, and tossed my saddlebags full of books onto my back. I dodged a pile of bags full of old pizza boxes, dried up hay fries, and the worlds most diverse assortment of fast food wrappers. I remember this. It took me months to collect all those bags of trash! Maybe they used to be valuable? I thought to myself as I surveyed the dream before me. A disembodied males voice boomed in from the walls around me. “Messy, because you choose daily not to get your life together. Are you happy living like a slob?” I rolled my eyes. My hoof snagged on a Ponystation controller cord, sending me tumbling into a stack of manga. The console shot out from it’s perch next to my tv to clatter to the floor along with half my games. I don't need these memories. I discarded them for a reason… The dispassion in my voice felt alien to me. “Ahh, plot! Seriously? This has to happen now?” I danced in place. Torn between checking up on my precious gateway to better realities, and dealing with the actuality of making it to my college finals in time. “You’ll never amount to anything until you grow up, and stop this childs play.” Maybe the disembodied voice was right, maybe not, but my hobbies were what kept me sane. Giving up on hobbies is not growing up! Meeting life’s challenges responsibly, and reaching for your dreams is! Pinkie taught me that. “Dreams! We gotta go, buck, move your flanks!” The door barked at me. “I want to get this over with. I can’t wait for dinner tonight.” She added with a giggle. “Coming!” I snagged a small paper bag off the counter by the door, and tossed it in my saddlebag. Luckily I’d grabbed a couple extra cheese sandwiches last night from the deli with my last two bits. “I got us lunch!” I don’t want to remember this. It’s pointless. I sighed and resigned myself to letting the scene play out though since there wasn’t much to do about it. I was on the verge of failing, but I’d calculated it all out. I studied hard for the finals. All I had to do was pass them. Nothing was gonna stop me! I swiftly trotted past an assortment of Breezy figurines, and my prized collection of now disheveled graphic novels. “Looser…” I stopped midstride with a start, and turned towards the tiny voice. As did the disembodied me who was watching the scene. Hay! “Hay!” All that met our irritated gaze was the grin of the breezy Plinky, element of happies, frozen in her silly little pose. I shook it off, my hoof continuing it’s stride forward. That is just cruel! Did my dreams always suck this bad? At least Pinkie makes a cute breezy. “Lame!” Am not! “Am not!” I spun around, and screamed at the little toy. “She thinks it’s cute that I collect breezys too!” The little breezy giggled, and gestured to the door. “I never mentioned what she thought, but I guess it’s obvious since you were thinking it too…” That’s not fair! I never thought that… I think. I was remembering far more than I wanted to. I tried focusing on waking up. The door thudded. “Sweetie! We gotta go, now!” I spun back around, and leaped for the door. “Sorry! Plinky was picking on me again.” “Yeah, that release isn’t as sweet as the pre-episode nine hundred thirty two blind bag series.” Came a sweet muffled reply. “I know, but I got her off ponybay with custom hair, and it’s a rare edition with cutie marks on both sides!” Uhg… How long is it going to take me to get to that door? Wait, there were only one hundred sixty episodes in total! Where’d she get that crazy number? Now this dream doesn’t make any sense at all! || Pause || Suddenly the dream stopped moving, and went silent. “Uhm, also, breezies don’t have cutie marks.” Fluttershy whispered gently somewhere in my mind. “Whoa!” I frantically searched for the voice. “Fluttershy? What are you doing here?” Pinkie chimed in. “Wow! I do make an adooratastic breezy! Too bad she’s a little meanie. I would never judge you for collecting things. In fact, I collect lots and lots of things!” “Pinkie! Cute word, but how’d you get into my dreams too?” I stuttered. “Uh, uhm… not that I’m really complaining mind you.” “We’re all here sugarcube.” Applejack chuckled. “So far, this is pretty tame for bein’ a nightmare.” “Oh my, I really really don’t want to watch a nightmare.” Fluttershy’s voice quaked in my mind. “Please, Mr. Dreams, please think happy thoughts.” Dash snorted. “Nightmare? Pfftt… he’s being teased by a tiny doll. I’ve had worse nightmares of falling out of clouds. In fact, my boring dreams are more bone shatteringly extreme and awesome than this. Come on S.D., show us what’cha got!” “Hello! Has anypony even noticed he’s dreaming of himself as a pony?” Twilight chirped in exasperatedly. “Shatter, are these really memories? Were you actually a pony?” “I’m not supposed to tell you that.” I faltered. Something in my brain screamed, forbidding such knowledge outside the hive. “Oh dear Chrysalis, I shouldn’t have told you that. You aren’t supposed to know that!” Twilight cleared her throat. “Well technically under your earlier promise of full disclosure.” I prattled frantically. “When I was ready! I can’t just drop the exact details into your hooves!” “I see, so… uhm, bad timing?” Rarity giggled slightly. "You both act as if we all hadn't already figured it out. I mean, it was rather obvious." "What do you mean?" I mentally gawked at her. "Yep, totally figured it out." Applejack chuckled. "Well, uhm, you did kind of tell us Mr. Dreams." Fluttershy giggled softly. "Don't you remember?" "What? No, of course not!" "Ehem," Twilight cleared her throat. I could hear paper rustling. "Day of one of evaluation, six fifteen pm. The subject stated..." I grumbled defensively, and cut her off. “I’m trying to sleep! Would you all please get out of my head.” Twilight continued. “Well, actually, you passed ou…” Pinkie gasped. “And we were all super worried! Especially after Rarity did that with the huge needle, and the thread, and the glitter! Wow, she did amazing things with that glitter!” Rarity proudly cut in. “Well, it really didn’t call for gems, one of the few times anypony will ever hear that phrase leave my lips, but it just looked so tacky and drab I couldn’t possibly leave it alone.” “Wake me up!” Panic cracked my voice. “Please just wake me up, throw some cold water on me, anything! Just get out of my head!” "No!" Fluttershy shouted quietly. "Throwing water on him now can make the shock much worse, and the glue is definitely not waterproof." "That isn't the point and you know it." I snapped. Pinkie chimed in. "Well we can't just leave, this is the fastest way ever to get to know you, right? And if we're running out of time..." Her voice trailed off sadly into a puppy whine. "Okay, yes, you're right. Pinkie can stay. The rest of you..." Dash cut in. “Whoa, no way I’m leaving now! I sat through your boring story all yesterday, and you expect me to leave just when it’s about to get good? Feathers to that!” Twilight cleared her throat, and jittered excitedly. “Besides, we may find the secret to turning you back into a pony tucked away in the furthest recesses of your memory!” “But I like being a changeling!” I grumbled. "Wait a second!" Rarity gasped. “Oh… my… sweet… Celestia, Shatter! What happened? How did you go from that handsomely dashing young colt to creepy… this?” I could feel her mentally gesturing to all of me. “I thought you didn’t like my color scheme?” I asked incredulously, completely distracted from the previous argument. “Well, darling, excuse me for getting caught up in the exaggerated glow of your dream. Obviously, you thought very highly of your looks at some point.” Dash snorted. “Dude, seriously? You used your original form from back when you were a pony when you could have shape shifted into anything? Lame, dude, I woulda shifted into a dragon or something!” Twilight interjected again, her voice sounding hopeful. “It was probably subconscious.” She squealed, “I bet he really wants to be a pony again, deep down.” “Ooh, or maybe this is the image of who he wished he could be.” Fluttershy sighed, and added with a grumble. “I really didn’t miss the truth speaking part of this.” “Noted, subject exhibits illusions of… wait,” Twilight grunted in frustration, “this is no time to be psychoanalyzing him." She paused for a second. "Well, actually it kinda is, but that is besides the point. Shatter, what happened? How did you get turned into a changeling?” “I don’t want to talk about it, there was a lot of oaths, paperwork, and boring orientations..." "Really? That sounds amazing! Tell me every detail." She squealed in excitement. "Please?" I couldn’t hold down the panic from creeping back into my voice. "Can you wake me up now? I would appreciate figuring out what exactly happened to my body.” “Well, actually, we already tried to wake you up, but maybe I could…” “Boooring... Shell cracked, everypony panicked, then first aid was first aided. End of story, now play!" Pinkie giggled, and I heard an audible click. || Play || The scene before me, once frozen, now began moving again. Pinkie, how’d you? I groaned in defeat, and decided it better to let it go as her giggling redoubled. My attention returned to the scene playing out before me. I accepted the helplessness that settled in my gut. There was no hiding anything now, not that I really had in the past, but I had no control over my dreams. My hoof reached for the door. I willed it to come back, but it continued forward intent on revealing all the painful memories I’d thought long left behind. I was an outsider staring down at myself as the little me threw the door open, ignoring the taunting giggles of the breezy. My body leaped out into the hall smiling like a fool, expecting to see my ex who I had been so glad to erase, but my hooves missed the floor of an empty hall. The void sucked in around me as I fell back into the endless abyss, my legs splayed, wiggling frantically out to the sides. I screamed, spinning, a frisbee'd frog flung into the wind by the cruel madness of my mind. The breezy’s taunting voice followed me. “You always played it so smart, didn’t you? You had everything figured out until your plans fell out from under you. One, by one...” “What?” I wriggled around in panic. “Where is…” The name of my ex was garbled and lost. “What did you do with her?” “Duh, I threw her away, just like she threw you away.” The breezy ‘harrumphed’ condescendingly. “You should be thankful…” “She didn’t throw me away! She moved on to a better college, she was following her dreams!” “Without you!” The voice cut through like a knife. “But I didn’t pass! I failed the entrance exams that day…” “And every day after. You were too busy thinking about your glorious future with your marefriend, and how amazing it would all be…” “So what, I test badly. Nopony’s perfect! I had outstanding scores otherwise.” “Look how much good that did you…” I couldn’t reply, I had no come back for that. I could feel the despair of my past, that I tried so hard to cut from my memories, creeping into me once more. “Your father was right, wasn’t he?” The breezy sneered. “I did just fine for myself! I moved on to get my life together. I even wished her luck as she left with a smile. All I needed was a good paying job, and then I would have come back and offered her the world!” “Nice excuse, but get some self esteem, and drop the plot. You let go of everything that ever mattered to you, and it never came back, because you weren’t brave enough to fight for it.” “But, I would have held her back if I followed…” The fight drained from my voice. The color drained from my body. “I just needed time...” “Pathetic! Keep talking, maybe you'll actually believe your own lies when you stop crying yourself to sleep.” Hay! I was young and stupid! I was fighting in my own way! “And, you never saw her again.” The voice stated calmly, knowing it had already won. She must have met a nice colt somewhere down the line. I stated flatly, emotionlessly. It was so long ago in a life far far away, I honestly didn’t care anymore. Images of a faceless mare, and colt sitting by the Canterlot falls in the waning sunlight popped into view. Whatever, life moves on... I snapped irritably. It suddenly dawned on me that the image of myself was gone, and the breezy was addressing my thoughts directly. “Except yours. You never went anywhere. You stayed in the same apartment playing games, collecting useless junk, and failing at life while everypony around you made something of themselves.” The voice giggled, and suddenly sounded a lot like Fluttershy’s. “Oh my, did you need to be taken care of?” I can take care of myself! I growled. “I can get you more newspaper, and water if you’d like.” I've had enough of this… “And everypony’s had enough of you.” The voice sent a chill down my spine. I recognized it as my fathers. “Get a job.” I had a job! “Get a real job, not that dead end excuse for a highschool dropout position you are working now. There is no real advancement opportunities in it, and it doesn’t have anything to do with your cutie mark. Why did you go to college anyway? Think of your future! Follow your cutie mark, it knows best. I know you can do it if you would just put your mind to it. You have all the potential in the world…” Enough! Nopony teaches you how to be an adult. Everypony is left up to their own methods to figure it out for themselves. I learned the hard way. My cutie mark was fun, but it didn’t pay the bills, and I moved on to find a new place in the world! Not every cutie mark brings in the bits. “Did they teach you that, dear?” Mom? A faceless mare popped into view. I vaguely recognized her. “Maybe, you should just find a nice mare, and settle down. Don’t worry about your father, he’s just trying to give you a nudge, but you should really listen to him. Lots of pony’s have talents that don’t bring in a lot of bits, but at least they are happy working. I’m not so sure about your new friends either, honey. I really worry about you. ” I was facing off with my mother directly. I barely noticed that I had been pulled physically into the dream, and given my own body. My thoughts were no longer projected into the void, but verbalized directly. I quickly missed the safe anonymity of being a disembodied voice. “But… but I like my new friends…” I passed a hoof over my newly shaved head. “It’s never good enough for anypony is it? I can’t just be me, being me, enjoying being me, for the sake of just being me, can I? I always have to change for somepony. I’m never good enough. I needed better grades to keep my marefriend, I needed a better job for dad, I needed better friends for you, I gotta live up to my cutie mark for everypony, because that is what society expects!” A new voice, and a dark shadowy figure behind glowing green eyes to accompany it. "And you need a better life for yourself, because you can never be happy with the mediocrity the talent you were born with will garner.” “Yes!” I harrumphed triumphantly. “Exactly! I have dreams and aspirations.” “And a world which is always pulling you down. Remember how I found you. Down, out, crying on the side of a bridge ready to throw it all away with one fatal step? City life isn’t like the country. Cutie mark talents are a dime a dozen here. The market is flooded with talented ponies, because every single pony has one.” “Well, yeah…” I replied sheepishly. “Hence why society is prosperous enough to offer generous social services.” “There you have it. It’s the same tragic story over and over again, friend. In fact it sounds a lot like my own. Pony gets cutie mark. Pony gets excited about vast unlimited potential. Pony gets promised a job in said area, and then pony finds out that he’s just a drop in the trough of thousands of others just as special as he is. And finally, pony’s dreams are crushed under the weight of the constant struggle to meet everypony’s impossible expectations, including their own. Then pony ends up living on the princesses bit.” The figure inched forward to whisper in my ear. “Makes a special talented pony feel not so special, now doesn’t it?” I grumbled. “I’ve done everything I can think of to get ahead! I studied, I worked hard, I earned credit, but no matter where I look, if there is a method or niche to make bits at doing something then somepony is already doing it! It’s like you really have to know somepony to get anywhere.” “Exactly! But you do know somepony, and, friend, have I got the perfect opportunity for you.” I recognized the voice now as Darkwing, my hive recruiter. The shadowy figure threw his leg over my shoulders. “Walk with me, and let me tell you a little about where I come from. We offer full benefits, guaranteed work, full room and board, and a close tight nit understanding community who won’t judge you for who you are whether you follow your cutie mark destiny or not. The vast majority of us don’t, so trust me, we will understand if you deviate and simply accept you for who you are.” “I don’t have to change for anypony?” “Not at all, unless you really want to. Believe me, if you want to, then we make it really really easy to change into whoever you want to be. Of course there’s an ample trial period, just in case you change your mind.” Elation flooded through me. “Whatever, sign me up!” The void opened back up, and I could feel myself falling again. The deep green pulsating hugh of the caverns back home slowly glowed into view below. The panicky drum of my heart calmed as I plunged towards the thrumming of my hive. The stress of life ebbed away, I breathed a deep sigh of relief, and let the rythmik hums of my brethren run through me. “So good to be home…” I welcomed the green hue of the caves that swallowed me down into the depths of their welcoming comfort. || Pause || “Whoa, whoa pony!” Applejack screamed. “Just, whoa a minute. Did you seriously volunteer to be a changeling?” I hesitated a second. “Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that. There is a process, and a lot of chances to pull out, and…” “And Mr. Dreams never once took any step backwards, because the changelings had everything planned from the beginning. They played on your feelings to manipulate you into wanting something different, and waited until you were at your lowest emotional point to drive their methods home!” Fluttershy actually growled. “Why those manipulative, advantage taking… oooh, I’m so angry. They should be ashamed!” She paused for a moment. “Uhm, they can’t hear me, right?” “No silly, it’s just a dream.” Pinkie giggled. There was an edge to that giggle. I could feel Pinkie’s mask of smiles slowly cracking again. “Dreams can’t hurt anypony.” “Well, technically this is all based in memories.” Twilight cut in matter of factly. “So, Shattered Dreams has already been hurt, but we’re safe.” “Nopony hurt me!” I snapped irritably. “I chose this willingly…” Rarity cooed. “Oh, you poor thing. You’ve been brainwashed beyond recovery.” “I’m not brain…” || Play || I was forcefully cut off as the scene around me suddenly jerked and swirled past. I fell deeper into the endless tunnel. I felt the sensation of falling rapidly, but save for the green glowing veins in the rock around me, it was impossible to orient myself. “Such is the nature of dreams,” I grumbled. “Pinkie?” No answer. The scene moved faster and faster. Green streaks continued to zip and swirl past. I shouted out louder. “Pinkie! Fluttershy? Girls?” I heard myself breathing more than anything. The air sucked in, and sighed out softly. The swirls of green were so calming. “I missed this feeling…” My eyes began to slowly close as I resigned myself to the comfort of the tunnels of my homeland. “Dreamy...” My name called at me soft and distant. “Shhh…I’m tired, just let me enjoy the glow for a while.” I yawned. “Dreamy! Wake up!” Still distant. “I know that voice…” I mumbled softly. Breath in, sigh out. I continued to fall. The walls glow pulsated gently with my breathing. Green veins of royal jelly extended from the rock, and whipped around me in a soothing dance that calmed my heart further. I wanted to hear that voice again, though. It was a nice voice. “Dreamy!” The green tendrils faltered before engulfing my body. “Yay…” I giggled. It makes me happy. I turned from the calming glow of the emerald veins, and looked on ahead. A pinpoint of light appeared off in the distance, and steadily grew larger. The voice was coming from that light. “Hay, Dreamy! Pay attention silly!” Pinkie’s voice came in loud and clear. I smiled in excitement. The pinpoint of light flashed brightly, filling my vision with blue sky as the rock tunnels shattered around me. I blinked a few times, and squinted at my surroundings. I was laying in a tuft of grass under an apple tree. Pinkie danced in place in front of me. “Come on Dreamy! You are always napping all the time. You are going to miss your first day of work!” “Work?” I yawned. "Well yeah! This is totally the best place to earn some bits! I know the mare personally, she's one of my best friends. In fact you even met her already. You kinda batted at her hoof the other day outside Fluttershy's cottage." Pinkie giggled. "That was soooo unexpected. It was totally cute too." Pinkie stopped to rub her chin thoughtfully. "I can't figure out if it was cute because it was random, or if it was random because it was cute." “I’m lost, where are we again? How’d I get here?” I shook the fuzziness out of my brain, and stood up. “Don’t you remember? Fluttershy said you were house trained, and Twilight said you passed all the Equestrian basic education tests. So, now we’re here to get you a job, because you really really wanted to work!” She threw a foreleg around my shoulders, and pointed off into the distance. “Here she comes now!“ She began waving. “Applejack!” Pinkie screamed so loud my brain rattled. Applejack trotted down from the hill next to us with a huge grin. “Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres! Ya hungry?” I was suddenly suffering from the most bizarre deja vu. > Ch6: Down on the Farm > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sweet Apple Acres really was something amazing. The vivid green leaves against the blue sky. The sweet subtle hint of apples on the gentle breeze as it rustled through the trees. Waving fields of golden grain in the distance. I could almost feel love coming up from the land itself to feed me. As it was, I just wanted to flop down into a tuft of grass, and revel in the serenity. But first, I had to deal with ponies. After the usual slew of confusing pony greetings, and my subsequent silent nodding as I tried to blend in, I took a private inward moment to reflect upon my success. I had infiltrated Ponyville, and was in good standing with all of Twilight’s inner cadre. Only Fluttershy had discovered my secret, despite outright confessing to Twilight who had somehow decided I was a pony raised by changelings, and had accepted me as something akin to a pet. For now, it would have to do, but overall I was very pleased. I was swiftly getting ponyisms down, and had gotten to know Applejack a little here and there over the past few nights since she would visit both Fluttershy and Twilight often. So when she proffered a hoof, I was quick on the uptake to meet it halfway with my own. As she shook it, I couldn’t help but think about how much she liked apples, and subsequently, had convinced me quite thoroughly that so do I. Especially when they came in the form of a spiced apple pie which she was always keen on sharing, much to my delight. “Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!” She flashed me a haughty smile. “To start off we’re gonna haft’a test yer strength a bit.” Oh, that delicious apple pie! I hope she has some lying around. I looked at the trees, and wondered which ones grew... “Uhm… sugarcube?” Applejack waved a hoof in front of my face bringing me back to reality. “Apple pies!” I blurted out, and stared at her wide eyed. “I mean… delicious! Yes… apple pies are delicious! And, uhm… that’s entirely irrelevant! Hehe… why am I yelling?” I gulped down my nervousness. “I-I’m ready for work.” I grinned, trying desperately not to stare her directly in the eyes as I snapped to a rigid solute. Applejack’s eyebrows weren’t quite level with each other as she stared at me a little sideways. “Okay… Ya don’t need to be so nervous, and if you were that hungry, why didn’t ya just say so?” “Oh, nonono, You see I was just hoping that you would point out which trees grew the apple pies so maybe if I did a really good job you might allow me to take one home.” Pinkie flopped upside down on the ground laughing, her legs kicking wildly in the air. “Ahahaha! I had totally forgotten he’d said that! He’s so funny!” “Pinkie!” Applejack eyed her sternly. “Oh, right. I’d almost forgot…” Pinkie cleared her throat. “What I meant to say was ‘ha-ha-ha, that is soo silly Dreamy!’” Applejack hid her face behind her hat as she sighed, and then let out a hearty guffaw. “Sugarcube, the day that trees start growing whole apple pies is the day I stop gatherin’ with baskets, and start bringin’ tin pans!” “Then how?” I wasn’t sure how to even form the question. I was also confused by the little interaction between the two of them just then. “Wait, what was that you two were talking about just now?” Applejack shook her head and continued as if she hadn’t heard me, her voice a little too loud. “Just relax, I’ll teach you later how to bake a pie.” “Orr… I can!” Pinkie blurted out, giving Applejack a look that was far beyond my current understanding only made worse by the fact she was still upside down. “Ooh… right, I mean…” Applejack grinned. “Of course you can... I mean…” She grumbled and ran over to Pinkie to whisper. “How’n the hay am I sposed to remember which lines are yers?” Pinkie shrugged. “I don’t know, just roll with it!” Applejack ran back to her original position and cleared her throat. “For now, like I was sayin’, we need to test your strength a bit to see where ya might fit in best ‘round here.” She gestured down the path. “Now don’t get yer hopes up. My brother Big Mac has already laid claim to strongest, so no showin’ off! Ya cain’t work if yer injured.” I blinked, suddenly confused in more than one way. I sighed and shook it off. Apparently there was still much to learn about pony interactions and customs that I was far from mastering. “Ooh, a test of strength!” Pinkie squeakily hopped back onto her hooves next to me as we trotted down the path through the forest of apple trees. “This is so exciting! I wanna play too!” “Pinkie, this isn’t a game…” Pinkie shot her another glance, and hoofed directly at me. Applejack’s tune shifted instantly. “But I really can’t see why not. I could use another farmhand to pull the carts. We’re gearing up for an apple festival to raise money for the local school and city beautification. Just try to take it seriously. It’s been a good two weeks since our last work related injury, and I wanna keep it that way.” Applejack tossed Pinkie a serious pony glare. “Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie flashed back an imperturbable grin. “You can totally count on me.” Applejack stopped short, and looked back at Pinkie Pie inquisitively. “Hay, Pinkie, why are you sticking around anyway? Don’t you work today?” I glanced sideways at Pinkie, studying each little movement and mannerism. I noted every detail. Even my reflection in her ear to ear grin. I was here to work, and learn how to fit into pony society, but I hadn’t forgotten my main target. I just wish that all the rules for pony mannerisms that I had formulated for everypony else would apply to her. I found myself staring at her often, pondering why she was so different from the others. “I am working! Twilight appointed me as Dreamy’s official pony cultural liaison and life coach.” Pinkie flashed me a grin. “It’s been super fun! So far Twilight’s taught him the basics of pony stuff. Fluttershy potty trained him…” I stumbled face first into the dirt, my inner reflections shattered into so many bits of lost dignity. Apple jack laughed mercilessly. Pinkie continued obliviously, “... and you are going to teach him all kinds’a work stuff. Then, later I’ll teach him how to party! I got so many parties planned too. There’s the welcome to Ponyville party, and then all the birthdays he never celebrated with the changelings mega birthday bash, and of course his cutie mark coming of age party!” I popped back up out of the dirt, and shook off with a groan. When I looked up, whatever words I had for Pinkie were lost as I realized both of them were staring at me. I followed their gaze to my flank. At that moment a sudden gasp, and a rustle from a random bush to the other side of me caught my attention. I jolted to the side, and braced myself for combat. A little filly with a massive red bow rolled out of the bush onto her chin. After a short tumble head over hooves she popped back up and trotted over. Her mouth was wide open in a show of emotion I hadn’t quite learned yet. Perhaps she was hungry? The hair on my back stood up. “She isn’t going to eat me is she?” I looked over at Pinkie and Applejack to see that their mouths were open just as wide. “Sister! He doesn’t have a cutie mark!” The little filly trotted up to me. I swiftly backpedaled. “I, uhm…” Crack my shell! I’d forgotten that detail, and it’s bitten me in the flank three times now. Twilight had been the first to notice, and Fluttershy the second. At least Fluttershy had been polite about it, and hadn’t probed me with fifty questions. “How could I have forgotten a cutie mark?” I thought out loud. Even I knew what a cutie mark was. Most changelings came from hardluck cutie mark stories. I probably came from one too if I could remember back that far. They all stared at me with that same open mouthed vacant look. “Please don’t eat me…” I was starting to feel more than a little uncomfortable at all the open mouths around me. “There’s apples everywhere, and I’m sure they would taste…” “Forgot your cutie mark? lIke as in ya lost it?” The little filly blurted out over me, shaking her head, and suddenly taking on a very serious attitude. “It’s only the most important thing to everypony ever! It’s not like ya can just drop it under the sofa, or forget to slap it onto yer flank, because you were too busy rushing to school! How do you forget a cutie mark?” “Applebloom!” Applejack snapped. “Now don’t be rude to Mr. Dreams here. He didn’t grow up in a good place with civilized folk, and hasn't had the chance to find his true calling yet.” My ear twitched irritably. Pinkie squealed, and practically vibrated with excitement. “Do you know what this means? It could be anything! He’s still a blank canvas with an infinity of infinite possibilities!” “Well, I gotta admit that is pretty exciting. So, what are ya good at Mr. Dreams?” Applejack cocked her head to the side. A gesture I took as inquisitive since I’d seen Twilight do it so often. “Have you found anything that you enjoy doing since you’ve been in Ponyville?” Before I could answer, the perky little filly known as Applebloom bounced up between us. “Yeah, like breaking rocks with your hooves?” “Oooh-oooh! Or making ponies super happy by just being around them?” Pinkie stared at me with piercing eyes. I could feel my cheeks flush. “Wh-what? I don’t make ponies happy. At least I don’t think I do. Why would you say that? How would I?” I couldn’t place the lopsided grin on Applejack’s face. “Yeah, Pinkie… Why don’t you fill us all in? How does S.D. over here make ponies happy?” It was definitely a grin, but something was different. Applejack nudged Pinkie on the shoulder. “Well duh! He’s always making me smile. Doesn’t he make you smile too?” Pinkie shot back unperturbed. “Hah! I’m not the one that’s been grinnin’ like a fool this whole time.” “Oh! I get it!” Applebloom cocked her head to the side. “Pinkie, you like Mr. Dreams? Are you each others special somepony?” “Of course not!” I blurted out. “She hasn’t bitten me, and I haven’t chased her down yet! There are protocols to courtship rituals that one must follow, and I definitely haven’t… Yeeouch!” I leapt to the side, and spun around to see Pinkie licking her lips, her pupils getting larger. “Ooh, he tastes like whipped frosting! Dreamy! You are super creamy!” I rubbed my aching flank in shock. Applejack face-hooved. “Well, Pinkie, you never were subtle, and try to keep it clean around the kids.” “I knew you were hungry!” I snapped at her. “Didn’t I say please don’t eat me?” I grabbed an apple off the side of the road, and tossed it to her. “I am not food…” Applebloom face-hooved just like her sister. “Ya ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed, are ya? I think Pinkie is trying to…” Applejack shoved a hoof in Applebloom’s mouth before she could finish. “No, sis… let him figure it out for himself.” “But…” “Look, it’s way more entertaining that way.” Applejack snickered, trying in vain to hold back her mirth. A small clearing in the grove loomed up ahead at the end of the path. It appeared to be some kind of staging area since multiple carts, equipment, a large tool shed, and many ponies were all running back and forth through it. I cleared my throat, as I glanced down at the woefully inadequate muscles in my legs, and compared them to Applejack’s. I mumbled to myself. “Hmm, I may need to rethink my current body build.” Pinkie happily munched on her apple. “Wow, Applejack, there sure are a lot of ponies here today.” “Yepper! All of em are volunteers from the school. Parents and their foals commin’ to help out for the school’s bake sale during the festival.” Applejack beamed at the organized chaos. “We get a lot of hooves down from Canterlot during these types of events, so we gotta be prepared.” I cleared my throat to catch her attention. “Ponies share their food with each other? I thought it would be a lot more cut-throat.” “Whatever kinda crazy talk are you goin’ on about?” Applejack stared at me with that same look from earlier. Ah, crazy, that defines that look quite well. I mentally filed it away. “We have extra apples at the end of the season that are just going to go bad, sometimes. So, we hold a festival. The school, and local funds for stuff like cleaning up the parks get what they need, and we get some good advertising to spread the Apple family brand. This year was a good bumper crop, and we got all the apples we can work with till next season. No sense in letting good eats go to waste, right?” Applejack trotted up to a cart, and a rather large red pony. “Hay, Big Mac! Check out the new guy.” Applebloom trotted up to her brother. “He ain’t got a cutie mark. Isn’t that somethin’?” Big Mac glanced up from testing a cart wheel. His face was completely blank as he looked me over. “Eeyup…” He turned back to his work. Applejack trotted up to the cart. “This here’s Big Mac, my brother. He’s ganna hitch you up to this cart.” “Why?” I stared at what looked to me as a repurposed mining cart, but somepony had filled it full of apples. “Couldn’t magic pull the cart easier?” I was surprised the ponies hadn’t thought of that. “Eeynope!” Big Mac eyeballed me for a second. Applebloom giggled. “What my brother’s trying to say is that we don’t use magic on the farm when it comes to workin’ with the apples.” Applejack nodded. “Yep, and that’s the way it’s gonna stay. Magic ain’t natural. Good ol’ hard work and sweat is gonna get these apples down to the farmhouse so we can keep baking on schedule.” I nodded. Work was work, and I was just glad not be in Fluttershy’s house with all the animals constantly chattering at me, or having my brain analyzed by Twilight. Big Mac motioned me over to the cart with a barely perceptible jerk of his head, and a quick motion of his eyes. He then glanced at the crossbar at the end of the carts arms, and my chest. I crossed my hoof over my chest, wondering if it would hurt with all the weight pressing such a thin bar into the soft flesh of this pony body. Big Mac shrugged, raised a hoof, and waggled it back and forth. I see, so it does hurt, but not much, and one can get used to it. I nodded, stepped into place, and lifted the bar up. Big Mac slid a soft harness across my back, and adjusted it so the crossbar was at the right height. He then stepped back, and after a second, raised an eyebrow. My eyes went wide. Right, he expects me to move forward. I took a step. The wooden cross bar bit into my chest, but then loosened as the cart creaked forward. I took a few more steps, and the cart seemed to move almost effortlessly. “Ah see you are used to workin’ hard!” Applejack beamed at me. “You will be a lot of help.” “Oh, well, it’s not that heavy once you get moving.” I shrugged, and glanced back at Big Mac. He nodded, and I continued moving forward towards the farm house. “Nah, not that. I mean how you can communicate without too many words gettin’ in the way. You already know what to do without having it all explained out. Means you’ve worked in groups before, and know where ya fit in.” “You could say that,” I grinned nervously. I looked around for Pinkie absentmindedly, and noticed she was off entertaining a group of children. Applebloom had followed her over. It was just me, Applejack, and her brother. “Hmm, that looks a bit too easy so far. Let’s load ya up a bit more.” Applejack guided me over to a tree. She gave it a powerful buck and apples rained down into the cart. A few more times, and the cart was brimming with apples. “There, now try it.” I strained against the cart and nodded. It was definitely a lot harder. “Is that too much sugarcube?” She gave me a sweet grin that carried the warm distinct flavor of spiced cider. I glanced over at Big Mac’s cart. He raised an eyebrow, looking between me and his own cart. “Eenope…” Applejack snickered. “What my brother there’s tryin’ to tell ya is don’t go comparin’ the size of his to yours.” “Oh, well that does make sense. He is twice my size after all.” I looked back at our carts. His was twice the size of mine, and piled twice as high. “Wow, Big Mac, you sure are strong. I was admiring earlier how the muscles rippled beneath your coat, especially around the flanks, but I had no idea how powerful you really were.” He turned an extra shade of red, and plodded off. “Errr… Dreamy, ya might wanna be careful where you lead on with talk like that.” Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Why?” “Uhm, look just watch the compliments unless ya really, really, mean them, alright?” She grinned awkwardly. I pondered her words for a moment. I had known her for a few days now, and had grown more comfortable around Applejack after coming to the shocking terms that she wasn’t actually a soldier, but a food grower. “Do ponies not like compliments?” I wondered, because changelings definitely like compliments. She stumbled over the reply. “Uhm, no-no... it’s not like that. Uhm, it’s just… well, we do like them, but ya gotta watch how ya say ‘em and who ya say ‘em to.” My tone dropped a bit nervously. “Oh… What did I do wrong with that compliment?” Applejack sighed, and threw a hoof up to my shoulder. The mild spicy stream of love trickled in a bit thicker. “I told him you were raised by changelings, so ahm sure he will understand, but when you go complimentin’ ponies like that, they…” She grinned awkwardly. “Look, they just might get the wrong idea. Uhm, like ya like ‘em or somethin’.” I raised an eyebrow with a calculated turn of my head to communicate confusion. “But I do like him. He’s very strong, dependable, and I can feel he has a lot of love.” Applejack stared at me, unblinking. “Uhm, S.D., how… Do you like colts?” “I guess so.” I furrowed my brow, making sure to communicate the deepening of my confusion. “Why wouldn’t I?” She blinked a few times, and scratched the back of her head. “Do ya like mares?” “Yes… I really don’t see where this is going, Applejack. I guess I really haven’t met anypony I particularly dislike. Though Princess Twilight still makes me nervous.” She shook her head with a sigh. “Don’t worry about it too much, S.D. I’ll have a talk with Twilight later, maybe she can ex…” She stopped mid-thought. “Or perhaps Rar… Uhm… Well yer close to Flutt… no no, that won’ work.” She sat down, rubbing her chin with a hoof. “Pinkie, now that could be a disaster waiting to happen, and R.D…” She shuttered. “What?” Apprehension was suddenly strangling my gut. “What is it? Is it that important? I don’t understand. They are just words, I didn’t mean anything bad by them.” “I know, simmer down.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “Ah, road apples… I’ma gonna have ta do this myself aren’t I?” She shook her head slowly, a hoof rubbing at the bridge of her crinkled up nose. “Thank you, Applejack.” I could taste the love replaced by stress, and extended a comforting hoof to her shoulder. “It really means a lot that you care so much about me.” She blushed with a smile. “Oh, Shatter…” She smacked me across the shoulder with a hoof sending me stumbling sideways with an awkward flap of my wings. “Quit yer flertin’! Yer practically family now workin’ on the farm. It’s the least ah can do. But, I’ma need a little time to prepare for this.” I rubbed the sting out of my shoulder. “Is it complicated?” “Well… yeah, kinda, but it’s somethin’ yer supposed to learn pretty young. So everypony knows it.” She shook her head. “Don’t worry, S.D., we’ll get you straightened out. I’ll sit down with ya later and teach you about the birds and the bees. Now, get back to work. Days almost done.” I watched her go with growing confusion. What could local fauna possibly have to do with social etiquette? I took a deep breath and sighed. It was obviously going to be a long difficult road to mastering socialization. Applejack called back. “If’n you can haul that load to the farmhouse without breaking a sweat, then we’ll hitch a second cart to the back of it. See how many you can pull.” She grinned at me. “Cause it’s gonna be a long haul, and we need all the muscle we can get.” “It’s not that far to the farmhouse.” I glanced up to see the farm wasn’t more than a ten minute trot. I began making steady headway as I paced myself with the heavy load. Applejack guffawed. “Hah! Not to the farmhouse S.D., but into town. This load’s going down to Granny. The big haul comes tomorrow when we hitch the strongest ponies here to the cart trains, and haul the whole lot down to Ponyville so everypony can join in on the baking.” Pinkie piped up from behind me. She was suddenly laying in the cart on the apples munching on one. She squirrel cheeked the bite, and winked at me. “I max out at four.” Applejack cut her off. “Four is when her line becomes unstable, and carts start tippin’ over ‘cause she cain’t pay attention for more than thirty seconds. Don’t pay no mind to that though. Earth ponies like us have a bit of an upper hoof. If you can pull two, I’d be mighty grateful.” I trotted silently towards the farmhouse while listening to Applejack and Pinkie chatter back and forth. It wasn’t long before we reached the barn, and they unhitched me. Applejack skillfully hitched me up to a train of three empty carts for the return trip. Applejack hummed a little as she worked. “Alrighty, playtimes over. Now that ya got yer hooves wet, let’s move on to three carts. That’s what most heavy workin’ ponies can pull without overdoing it.” I nodded and started on the path back up the hill. Applejack was pulling a few empty carts as well. Pinkie rode in the first cart of my train while throwing out the occasional, “Heya! Heya mule!” I studied her social techniques and came to the conclusion she was indeed a filly still, though she looked much like a mare. I pondered on it. Filly or mare, I really hadn’t had any experience in pony aging, nor the stages of development. “So,” Applejack broke through my fascination with Pinkie’s daydreams, “got any siblings?” I thought for a moment. “I suppose you could call them that, thought there’s just too many to count.” “Haha! Yeah, I know that feelin’.” She rolled her eyes. “How bout’ cousins?” “Oh, don’t get me started! Soo many, but I know them ‘all’ by name, every one.” I smiled in thought of all my family back at the hive. A small pang of guilt stabbed at my chest at the thought of how I abandoned them. Applejack whistled. “Tight nit family ya got there. I like that. Nothin’ more important than family.” I thought for a moment. “Yes, we were very close. I used to live with all of them. Our ‘beds’ were packed in pretty tight.” “Aww, poverty is rough.” She nodded over at me understandingly. "Well, we really never had any money at all. We were self sufficient, and money has no value to my family anyway." “Now that’s the spirit!” Applejack guffawed and stamped up the hill with a little more gusto. Pinkie was leaning on the edge of the front of the cart, her head in her hooves as she listened. “I thought you grew up with changelings though? Did they take your whole family too?” She gasped, “cousins and all?” Applejack stopped and turned back, staring at me with wide eyed shock. “I’m so sorry! I hadn’t even thought of that…” I looked back and forth between them in confusion. “What? I thought you were talking about the changelings I lived with. They are my family.” “That’s not any kind’a family fit for a pony!” Applejack turned and glared at me. “Why, if’n they were here, I’d show em’ a thing or two for keepin’ a colt hostage!” I gritted my teeth and stared hard at the path in front of me as I picked up pace. Pinkie chimed in. “Applejack! How can you talk about a pony’s family like that? Even if they were changelings, that doesn’t mean they are any less family.” “They are changelings! A right proper family is parents, siblings, and cousins. Ya cain’t tell me you’d consider a bunch of monsters as parents, brothers, and sisters!” My chest squeezed at Applejack’s words. They bit me down to the bone, but I held my tongue. I had survival to think of, and getting into a fight with those who I depended upon for that survival was suicide. Such logic had always made sense to me. It was sound. It was smart. It was necessity. “No!” A surprise jolt of adrenaline up my spine stopped me in my tracks, and I quickly craned my neck to look back at Pinkie. She glared at me with forelegs crossed over her chest. “No…” She repeated sternly, as if chiding a dog. I blinked at her in surprise, and then something exploded in my brain. Something that hadn’t been there before. It was as if that word ripped apart the walls that kept my emotions in check. A heat burned through my limbs. It seared up my neck and down my cheeks. Images of my family came to mind as I remembered all the good times, and all the support they had given me. Applejack had also stopped, and was looking back at Pinkie. “What in tarnation Pinkie?” “No!” I glared at Applejack. “They are my family! They are a great family! They took care of me when I’d lost all hope of survival. I lived comfortable and happy. We played games, and the hive would listen to me tell stories for hours! Not a lot of changelings have good enough memories to keep stories for very long, so I used my talents to collect them, and I would keep their spirits up when they were sad. Many of them would help me when I was sad too.” Tears welled up into my eyes. What was I doing? “Changelings can’t cry on the outside, it kills them, so they have to cry on the inside. They bottle it up, and can’t let it out. If they do, they bleed to death, but they don’t actually die. They become mindless drones capable of basic work and shapeshifting. It’s a horrible existence one can never return from.” The tears cascaded down my muzzle. Why? Does ‘no’ really have such a profound meaning that it can just shatter through my inhibitions? “I watched so many meet that fate. So many kind and gentle brethren who lost their control and succumbed to the pain in their hearts. My stories would help them. Even if just for a moment, my stories would bring them smiles, or help them forget their sadness. I wasn’t the only one either. A lot of the changelings would do that. They would help each other, because they understood that pain, and by sharing it, they could help relieve some. They would reach out and comfort one another when things became too much to bear.” I choked on a sob. Stupid word! “Yet so many were lost! It didn’t matter what we did. The pain and sorrow of depression isn’t something you can just wipe away. It takes family to fight it. That family may not always be the ones you were born with. When I was broken, the changelings were there for me.” Against all my better judgement I met Applejack’s gaze hard. “Don’t insult my family! They are as good as any blood born pony kin.” Applejack smiled and pulled her hat down over her eyes. “Well said S.D. I’m mighty proud to call you friend.” I tried shaking the confusion off of my brain. “What… just… happened?” I looked back at Pinkie. She just giggled and shrugged. She then pantomimed cracking a whip. “Heeya mule!” I got back to work, my head buzzing with questions. I caught Pinkie and Applejack sharing glances with one another a few times. There was definitely something I was missing here. Beyond all that, I was still having the most bizarre case of deja’ vu. > CH7: Curiosity Killed the Cat > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- We did a few more cart runs, and it turned out that two carts was my comfort zone. Applejack had just shrugged and said that was the average for most ponies just starting out. I went about the rest of the morning piling baskets into the carts and hauling them down to the farmhouse. Applejack did all the bucking since I wasn’t anywhere near strong enough to shake the apples out of those trees. Besides the wind rustling through the trees, a few chirping birds, and the ponies working off in the distance, it was really quiet. It felt too quiet without the constant chatter from the channels. “I miss my story channel…” I missed telling stories too. I breathed in the sweet apple air with determination to enjoy the day, and savored the feel of lifes renewed energy flowing through my limbs from a good days work. “Changelin…” I caught myself mid sentence and glanced around frantically. “I-I! I love to work, it’s the privilege of earning the right to live! He-hehe...” I finished with a sigh and kicked at a rock. There wasn’t anypony around for it to hit, so I put a bit more reckless force into it than my soft unarmored pony hoof could take. “Eeyigh!” I recoiled back, my flank slammed into the cart just as I reflexively lowered my head. The bar shot straight into my nose with all the momentous weight of the cart, taking my forehooves off the ground. I suddenly found myself far too intimate with the ground as I stared at the sky. I twitched as the pain registered in my face and overrode my brain. My legs flopped to the sides, and I groaned as I slowly regained motor control. I glanced back at the cart. It was sitting not ten hooves from me like nothing had ever happened. I glared at it. “I’m really not cut out to do this whole pony thing…” I couldn’t help but think that magic would be so much more efficient for this job. I caught my mind wandering over impossibilities like going back to the hive, or finding other lone fangs like myself, but I quickly found any number of reasons to dismiss all of them. I had found a niche, and surrounded myself with enough food to live happily. “What more could I want?” I thought out loud. A sudden pang of sorrow hit me. “Oh, well it would be nice if Feelia were here.” I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering my princess. I let out a long deep sigh. “What a ridiculous thought. If she were alive, I wouldn’t be here, and she definitely wouldn’t be here with me.” I turned over, slowly regaining my footing and rubbing the pain out of my nose when something caught my eye. It was red with a yellow rearing pony on a blue shield. I examined it closely. The pony on the shield was wearing something around it’s neck that looked a lot like the thing I was staring at. “It’s a piece of clothing...” I mumbled absentmindedly as I kicked that diamond dog loving cart, gently for fear of injuring myself further, and began filling it with baskets that had been neatly situated around the trees on the side of the hoof path. “Huh… I guess someponies weren’t able to figure it out so they had to stamp a picture of the instructions on it.” I noted how there was a loop tied at the front of it. My ear twitched. I glanced around, but Applejack was still off helping other ponies elsewhere since there weren’t any more trees to buck in this section. I glanced back at the clothing. The instructions looked so regal. I pondered if it belonged to a guard. “A very small guard. I’m sure I could have figured out how to put it on without the instructional picture though.” I wondered what purpose it had other than fluttering in the wind off the back of ones neck. I went back to work and dutifully ignored it. “Best not to get into trouble and just focus on my job.” It’s a simple job, I thought as I rubbed my throbbing nose. Put apples in the cart. Don’t touch random things that don’t belong to me. Haul cart to barn. Avoid bits of clothing that may be laying on the ground. Haul empty cart back to orchard. Stop staring at those darn attractive colors. Stay out of trouble. Repeat. “Simple…” I grinned as I set the final basket into my cart. My eyes flickered over the clothing. I shook my head and growled. “Simple!” I snapped at it. “I don’t need any trouble from you, or any other colorful wind flappy thingys!” I backed up to the cart and positioned under the soft strap, setting the crossbar snuggly over my chest. I prepared to move, but stopped short. I looked down at the little piece of clothing. It was smack dab in the middle of my path and there wasn’t any way around it. I sighed as I unhitched and chided myself for missing the obvious. “I’m just going to have to move it.” I snatched the cloth up to examine it… I-I mean to move it! I glanced around nervousely. A small thrill went up my spine. I’d never worn clothing before. I looked around again. Where would I move it too? It seemed wrong to just put it back on the ground, or over a tree limb. Of course I could just throw it in the cart and take it back, but... “Hello?” I tested my surroundings, listening for any reply. “Anypony out there?” Only the chirps of birds answered my inquiries. The wind rustled through the trees as a grin spread across my muzzle. Oh, how mischievous I felt the moment I slipped the loop over my muzzle and worked it over my ears. It sat snugly just behind my jaw, making it a little hard to breath, and the back of my skull. It wouldn’t for the life of me go any further than that, so getting it around my neck was out of the question, but I could only imagine how regal I looked with it waving in the wind off the back of my head. I struck a pose much like the one on the shield of the cloth. “Yes! I gotta get me one of these!” “Ahahaha!” I spun around to see Applejack faceplant into the grass, stamping her hoof. “Oh pony, it’s just as funny as the first time I saw it!” I quickly went to snatch the clothing off of my head, but all I accomplished was nearly ripping my ears off. “Ow-ow-ow... sorry! Ow, I’m so sorry! Ow-ow-ow!” Applejack only laughed harder. After nearly strangling myself, I stopped and stared at her indignantly, the cloth whipping defiantly in the wind behind me. She gasped for air in between beating the ground with a hoof and guffawing so hard she lost her balance. “Tha-hahaha… th-that’s Apple Bloom’s cape! Ahaha, an’ she ain’t gonna be too happy when she finds it stuck on yer head!” Applejack trotted over and clopped me on the shoulder, still snickering. “Go on now, you’d better get it off quick.” She hoofed over in a direction off to the side. “Her tree house is over that way. When you get it unstuck from yer noggin’, she’d be a might bit happy if you’d return it. She’s been looking for it all morning.” I nodded silently, still too embarrassed to say much as I turned and trotted off. I caught Applejack mumbling something. I wouldn’t have picked it up if my ears weren’t so sensitive. “Go on, Shatter, I’m dying to know what happened next between you and my sister.” I spun around. “What? Nothings happened, I only just met her...” My jaw dropped, and my eyes searched every which way. Without a sound or any explanation, Applejack was gone. Something felt very wrong about my surroundings. After Applejack disappeared, a chilling sensation was left creeping up my spine. I looked around. All of the volunteer ponies were gone, and Pinkie hadn’t come back either. Since I’d arrived in Ponyville, there had been at least one of Twilight’s cadre at my side at all times. I swallowed against a queasiness that was crawling up my throat. “Something isn’t right…” Of course it isn’t! Ponies don’t just disappear! I mulled over the issue, but was quickly snapped back to reality when a tree house caught my eye off the side of the path. I blinked in confusion. “I don’t remember seeing that in the distance at all.” I looked back. Row after generic row of apple trees lay behind me. I shook my head and rubbed at a temple. “Wow, I really need to pay more attention to what I’m doing.” I trotted up the stairs of the tree house and peeked inside. Nopony was home. My curiosity nipped at me. I’d never been in a tree house before. Changelings live underground in caves, so the aspect of living above the ground in a tree was intriguing. I gently crept up on the door and nudged it open. The interior was very simple. Mostly empty with a desk, a few chairs, and some basic decorations on the wall. It smelled of dust and wood. I stared at the pictures on the walls for a second. They made about as much sense to me as anything else ponies collected. I shrugged it all off. “Odd that they would make their foals live in trees…” I checked the ceilings for cubbycombs. “Oh that’s right, Ponies like soft beds.” I looked around. “No, none of those either. Maybe they have to sleep on the ground until they build the beds on their own.” That made sense. I nodded, changelings do the same thing. Each of us are required to build and customize our own cubbycomb. Applejack’s sister was nowhere to be seen. I would just have to leave the clothing here and get back to work. “Ahm sure I left my cape around here somewhere!” I recognized Apple Bloom’s voice. She was very close outside. My breath caught in my throat as Applejack’s words of warning played over in my mind. “That’s Apple Bloom’s cape, and she ain’t gonna be too happy when she finds it stuck on yer head!” I was certain to make the little pony mad! I could hear hoofsteps clopping up the stairs. I yanked at the cape, but my ears defiantly held it in place as it tightened around my neck. I yanked so hard I could feel my eyes pulsing with my heart beat. “How’d I even gotten this thing on?“ I croaked. The hoofsteps came closer. I whipped my head back and forth frantically lashing the cape with muffled snaps. And that was the worst thing I could have done. Between the strangulation and the world suddenly spinning in circles around me, my legs went limp. I thudded to the ground and fought a new sensation. My pony stomach felt like it was imploding, or at least trying to. I wasn’t sure what to think about it, but it definitely didn’t feel good. “Hay! You girls hear somethin’?” Apple Bloom asked. “Yeah, I totally just heard something move around in there too!” Came an unfamiliar voice. “I bet our treehouse is haunted!” “Haunted?” A third squeakier voice. “You don’t suppose ghosts eat fillys? Maybe we should have brought cupcakes.” Apple Blooms voice again. “What? Nah if’n I had cupcakes, I wouldn’t be feeding them to no ghosts! Besides, we were just here. Doesn’t it take time for houses to get all haunted up?” I was frozen in place, but for whatever reason my mouth had all the brave initiative. I think I was trying to say something along the lines of ‘hello, it’s just me,’ but with all my dizziness, and whatever my stomach was doing, it came out more like a groaning, “Uuhhhngah…” “Fluttery fruit bats! It’s a zombie!” Apple Bloom gasped. “Whoa! That’s soo cool! Lets feed him apples and name him Mr. Nibbles!” “Shouldn’t we tell somepony?” “What? No! They would take Mr. Nibbles away!” “But if a zombie bites you, don’t you turn into a zombie?” “Nah, that’s just in stories meant to scare the little kids. Zombies come from the Everfree forest and are ponies who lost their cutie marks and never got them back! I hear they are full of holes, have bug wings and horns, and can shapeshift!” Whatever I was going to say caught in my throat as I mumbled to myself, “Wait…did she just describe changelings?” “Well now, there’s only one way to tell. Just gonna have to ask him.” Apple Bloom cleared her throat and knocked. “Hay, you in there! Are you a zombie?” “Uhm...” I wasn’t sure how to answer since technically they described me perfectly. By their definition I guess I kind of am, but still, I threw out a trepidatious, “No?” “I don’t think that sounded too convincing.” Came a squeaky reply. “Well, which one of us is going in there to check?” Came the third voice. “Ah say we all go in on the count of three.” Apple Bloom said. The doorknob twisted. I took a deep breath and yanked hard on the clothing with both hooves only to faceplant into the floorboards. My nose screamed at me. “One!” The door creaked open slowly. “Eeeh!” I squealed in panic. “Two!” I took a deep breath, and in a flash of green fire. “Three!” The three fillies bravely burst into the room. “Cutie mark crusaders zombie tamers!” “Oh hay! Look, it’s my cape.” Apple Bloom trotted over to me. “Why’s it wrapped around this here frilly pink pillow?” “I don’t know, but it’s a really really nice pillow.” The white one squeaked as she examined me. “Wow, that is some gorgeous embroidery, and I love the stitching!” I puffed up with pride. “Whoa, where’s the zombie though?” The orange one looked every which way. “Aww come on! He must have escaped out the window.” She bolted to the window at the back of the treehouse. “Whatever it was, it’s gone now.” Apple Bloom pulled the cape off of me and slipped it over her head. “I really like this pillow!” The white one hugged me. “It’s soo soft!” It was kinda nice to be snuggled again as a pillow. It had been such a long time. Memories of my princess Feelia flitted through my head. “Apple Bloom, can I keep it?” “Uhm, sure? I don’t see why not Sweetie Belle.” Apple Bloom put a name to the white squeaky one. I made mental note. “Go-fer it.” “Whoa, hold on a minute. Shouldn’t we figure out where that thing came from and why it was attached to your cape?” The orange one smiled. “That’s totally a mystery!” “Dont’cha think yer thinkin’ a little too hard there Scootaloo? I mean it’s just a pillow.” And then there were two named. Thank you Apple Bloom. “Hello? Didn’t you hear the voice? A pillow, a mysterious voice, a flash of green light, a missing zombie, and pony knows what else we’ll find!” Scootaloo danced in place. “Yah, I heard the voice too! It was kinda scary.” Sweetie Belle grabbed and squeezed me tight. “Squee!” The sound escaped my lips involuntarily. “It squeed!” Sweetie Belle tossed me to the floor. “It’s a squee pillow!” She giggled. “A squee-low!” Apple Bloom trotted over to me. “Yeah, I heard it too.” I held my breath. Scootaloo zipped over. “Whoa, how’d you do that Sweetie Belle? Make it squee again.” “I don’t know how. It just did it on it’s own.” Apple Bloom eyeballed me. “Hmm…” She slammed a hoof into my gut. “Guuhff…” I grunted. “Guuhff?” Apple Bloom repeated. “Well, yeah, of course he’s going to say ‘guuhff’, Apple Bloom, you just stepped on him.” Sweetie Belle chided her. “Which really wasn’t very nice.” Scootaloo facehoofed. “Sweetie Belle, that isn’t the point! It’s a talking pillow. It’s not supposed to say ‘guuhff’ even if you do kick it.” Sweetie Belle grinned. “Oh! So the pillow is the zombie then?” “Nah, it cain’t be a zombie. You cain’t zombify a pillow. Trust me, Zecora and I already had that conversation.” Apple Bloom gasped. “It’s gotta be magical! I was wishin’ my cape would come back, and then there it was attached to this here pillow. Maybe it will grant other wishes too? Maybe it can tell us how to earn our cutie...” “Hold it!” They all jumped when I barked out. “Don’t get carried away.” “Sweet!” Scootaloo jumped back over to take a closer look at me. “It does do more than grunt and squee!” “We already knew that, it talked at us through the door,” Apple Bloom shook her head. “Uhm, girls I’m kind of busy right now, so…” I hopped up onto my little tassels and trotted for the door. “Oh my gosh! It’s sooo adorable!” Sweetie Belle had me in a vice grip hug before I could blink. “You are the cutest most wonderful pillow ever! I’m gonna hug you, and squeeze you, and love you, and call you George!” I would have struggled if it weren’t for a new kind of flavor trickling in from the squeaky little pony squeezing the life out of me. It was different from Twilight’s shock tart obsession, Fluttershy’s mildly sweet and buttery meltyness, and Pinkie’s overwhelming sugar fruity parfait. Her love had a chaotic quality like little sweet granules that popped and fizzed on my pallet. It was delicious to be sure, but it was the sharp tingly delivery of it that completely placated me as she overwhelmed my curiosity. In that moment, I was very happy to be an adorable pillow! “Wait… George?” I gasped in between forced snuggles. Apple Bloom scratched her head in thought. “What kinda business would a magic pillow have in Ponyville?” “My names not George!” “Granting wishes, duh!” Scootaloo stated excitedly as she rolled her eyes at the obvious. “Come on Sweetie Belle! Hoof it over. I’m gonna wish I can fly! I’ll be in the air in no time!” “Hay, stop ignoring…” Scootaloo’s request suddenly hit me in rolling waves of tingling chills that invaded every corner of my body. I didn’t have that kind of magic! My mind immediately came up with a plan though. I cleared my throat, knowing this would take some tact as I didn’t want to disappoint or anger the young filly. “I am sorry to inform you, dear Scootaloo, that I am quite incapable of performing such magic…” “Aww…” The little filly’s ears drooped. I was suddenly assaulted by her disappointment. I was prepared for it, but it still burned into me in a bitter wave. “But!” Her ears perked up. “I’ve seen a lot of pegasus younger than you flying around. I think all you have to do is just flap your wings!” Of course! It made sense. That was all I had to do when I wanted to fly. I was very happy with my solution. She, however, was showing a new kind of facial expression. Her eyes were half lidded, and her mouth was forming neither a smile nor a frown. I studied her carefully, expectantly. An eye twitched. “Aha!” I shouted triumphantly. “I know what a twitchy eye means! Irritation!” I was quite pleased with myself. “Wait… irritation?” Scootaloo’s facial expression definitely switched to anger. I knew that emotion because it was similar to the most common one displayed in my captains eyes back home when he was dealing with me. Poor Core… She started growling at me. “I kinda wanna rip those tassels off…” I recoiled. Anger tasted extremely sour. I really didn’t like her being angry with me. My mind spun in circles. What had I done wrong? Sweetie Belle flipped me up onto her back. “Well… At least he’s cute when he isn’t talking!” “Yep, definitely a boy pillow.” Apple Bloom shook her head. “Sis, says that all colts are cuter when they aren’t stickin’ a hoof in their mouth.” “Whatever!” Scootaloo turned to head for the door. “I say we ditch the pillow. I could go for a malt down at Sugarcube Corner right now.” I blurted out the first thing that popped into my mind. “Oh, I know that place! Pinkie Pie is assigned there.” “Not invited!” Scootaloo snapped at me. I was surprised at how disappointed I felt. I really wanted to see where Pinkie worked. “Oh, well I guess I could get back to work pulling the apple carts then.” “You? Workin’ for my sister pullin’ the carts?” Apple Bloom eyed me suspiciously. “Ya know, Sweetie Belle, I think Scootaloo’s right. Get rid of him. We don’t need no lyin’, hoof in mouth pillow anyhow.” “But…” Sweetie Belle looked back at me indecisively. “He’s fluffy and warm and cute…” “And lame!” Scootaloo reached the door. “Come on Sweetie Belle, just get rid of him…” I felt a cold chill inside. The emotions rolling off the fillies were making me sick. “I really am sorry if I said anything wrong. I didn’t mean to insult you. I’m kinda new to this whole socialising with ponies thing.” Scootaloo growled, “Then go home.” I shrugged. “I can’t… I ran away. I can never go back.” Scootaloo hesitated, her hoof on the doorknob. “Girls… please, just listen to me!” I struggled against my bonds, pleading with the three crazy fillies. “Sweetie Belle, those ropes holdin’ up?” Apple Bloom beamed with pride as she surveyed her precision ‘hog tieing’ work. “Mhmm!” Sweetie Belle muffled around the rope in her mouth, and nodded which sent me bobbing up and down as I dangled from the other end. This was bad! Terribly bad! I almost wanted to cry. The girls were dragging me off to the treebrary to see Twilight Sparkle. “Well, it’s your fault.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes at me. “If you would just tell us where you are from, you wouldn’t be in this mess, and we’d all be at Sugar Cube Corner by now!” “Why do you even care where I’m from?” I squeaked out in frustration. Apple Bloom barked at me. “Because family is important! Runnin’ away never solved anything, and I’m sure they all miss you somethin’ fierce.” Scootaloo nodded. “You should be glad. Your family is out there somewhere waiting for you to come home, and we’re going to do the right thing and get you back there!” “Nonono! You don’t understand! They’ll kill me!” I squeaked frantically. Apple Bloom nodded. “Good! I’d kill ya too if you ran away and you were my brother or somethin’!” I froze and stared at Apple Bloom. “Ponies are brutal! Help!” I screamed with all the squeakyness I could muster. Scootaloo smiled lopsided at me, “Yep, totally brutal,” and stuck her cape in my mouth. > CH8: Meeting the Pony God > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today was just not my day. Sometimes, I can tell when things are about to get worse. Call it a sixth sense, call it logical progression, or just call it the fact I was being set down on Twilight’s table in front of a very curious little dragon. “It talks? Really?” Spike glared at me dubiously. “Just looks like a hogtied pillow with a cape shoved inside it to me…” “No, really, it actually talks!” Apple Bloom shook her head encouragingly. “Well, can you make it talk then?” Spike reached for the cape. Scootaloo rolled her eyes and stopped his claw. “It doesn’t have anything good to say, trust me.” Sweetie Belle pouted off to the side. “Yeah, and I can’t keep him, because he ran away from home, and we have to find his family.” “Uhuh…” Spike raised an eyebrow as he quickly plodded across the library to a bookshelf. “Well, I guess I can look for a reference book, but do they even have one on living pillows? Oh wait, I know we have one on odd magical creatures and items enchanted with sentience.” I opened my mouth as wide as I could, and shook the cape loose. “Patooh!” I unceremoniously spat it onto the floor. “I demand you release me!” I whispered vehemently so Spike couldn’t hear. Scootaloo snagged the cape, and tried to shove it back in my mouth. I dodged her efforts by rolling back and forth, as well as skillfully shutting my mouth in defiance. Spike plodded back over, and slammed a massive tome down onto the table. A cloud of dust enveloped me. I breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn’t noticed me moving yet with that massive tome in front of his face. However, I quickly realized, as my mouth opened involuntarily with a deep intake of breath, that a sneeze was imminent. “Gotcha!” Scootaloo’s hoof sped towards my face intent on jamming the wadded up cape back into my open mouth. I dodged, looking to the side with lightning reflexes. “Aaa-choo!” I sneezed hard on the book, sending the massive cloud of dust straight into Spike’s face. “Scootaloo!” Spike huffed. “At least la-look the… th-the oth… aaaa…” His eyes squeezed shut, his lungs building up a massive sneeze. I panicked. My heart nearly exploded in my chest. I knew exactly what happened when Spike sneezed on things. They burn to a crisp never to be seen again! “...aaaa…” I squiggled and squirmed against my bonds, desperately trying to roll off the table. I inchwormed for dear life. Just before my salvation was at hand, an orange hoof nudged me back. “...chooo!” My world was suddenly engulfed by emerald green flames, and the last words I heard were Scootaloo’s. “Go bug the princess…” I was floating in midair. I guess such a thing would be fitting since I was obviously dead. However, it was the situation of my afterlife that completely scrambled all sense, and defied all logic. Death by dragon fire was nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, I could have been crushed by a collapsing tunnel for example, or eaten by a diamond dog. There were much worse deaths that I could think of. I could have slowly lost my mind to memory madness, or even suffered a slow agonizing death from shell rot. Whatever, I guess it doesn’t matter what kills a changeling. I just always believed that we join the eternal channels after death. Echoing forever in the hives as whispered words of wisdom to the next generation. Maybe such a noble existence wasn’t meant for traitors. That has to be it. I betrayed my hive, and now here I float in front of the one pony that is drilled into every mind of every changeling as the subject of countless horror stories. The hoarder of love and kindness. Princess Celestia. Oddly enough, all I could do was stare in awe. Her love was overwhelming. It flooded everywhere, and flowed straight through me. It wasn’t just love, but pure magical love essence. Endless waves of it’s sweet vanilla cream passed over me. It wasn’t even directed at me. Her love simply flowed in every direction as if she loved everything around her whether it was pony, pilar, or pillow. The pony god was quite captivating, and I stared openly with awe as she held the rope from which I dangled gently in her magic. I found myself in the predicament of slowly turning, and had to keep squirming to keep her in my field of view. Subsequently, my spinning also revealed others in the room. Two guards stood to either side of Celestia. One was a powerful looking stallion with purple hair that had a pink stripe. He was staring at me with an unsettling look of curiosity that felt too familiar. His jaw was also wide open. I found myself hoping that ponies didn’t eat pillows. The other guard had curly purple hair, and was preoccupied with staring in a mirror as he adjusted his helmet. “Oh-hoo-my, I may have to go explore this… role a little more in private later.” “Oh, come on! Why couldn’t I be something cool like Princess Celestia, or a guard, or something!” Celestia’s throne suddenly complained. I admired it’s rainbow patterns. “I’m’a carpet!” A pink fluffy carpet wiggled and giggled below me. “This is so amazing! I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a carpet!” Celestia seemed to ignore all of them as she sat down on her throne. “Dis brows!” It muffled, and rocked back and forth woodenly. “Es-dee! Erm’a git’chu fer dis!” Celestia giggled as she bounced me ever so slightly. “Hmm, what a curious little pillow Twilight has sent me.” I blanched as it suddenly dawned on me where I was. Something in the back of my mind snapped. “I’m not allowed to talk to you! For the hive!” I chewed at my bonds, growling viciously. “You’ll never take me alive delicious one! ” Celestia gasped. “Oh, dear, are you an invader?” I froze. “What? No, of course not! I’m the only one here. If we were invading we would have swarmed by the thousands!” “Oh, so you are alone?” She smiled gently. “Well, yes, unfortunately. I burned to death by the fire of a baby dragon. A noble death to be sure!” She giggled. “Assuredly…” I puffed out my pink pillowy chest. “However, I believe I’ve been sent to the wrong afterlife.” “Hmm… so if you are already dead, then how can you be ‘taken alive’, as you put it?” She waited patiently as I contemplated her words. No matter how I mulled it, she was right. If I was dead and stuck in this afterlife, whether the wrong one or not, where would there be for me to flee too? I looked back at her trepidatiously, “what would you have of me, then?” “Perhaps a little tea?” She clopped her hooves together. The resemblance of my predicament to a trussed up tea bag was not lost. “Never! I would make a horrible tasting tea!” I gawked at her in horror. Celestia covered her mouth with the tip of a hoof, and turned away, but failed to hide the giggles. A moment later, some servants rushed in with a cart of tea and a chair for me. “Oh… you mean to have tea with me.” I deadpanned at the tea tray. “Well, that does make more sense now doesn’t it?” Celestia nodded curtly towards me, having fully regained composure. “I am enjoying our conversation. Would you kindly indulge my curiosity for a while?” I was shocked. I remembered my first day in Ponyville that Fluttershy had served me tea. I had no idea she upheld such royal practices, and I could only be thankful that she taught me not to spit the dross onto the floor. Celestia poured each of us a cup. Then, she stopped as if just realizing something. “Oh, dear, you can’t be comfortable all tied up like that. May I?” She gently worked the ropes off of me with her love magic and set me down in the chair. “Uhm, thanks! That helps a lot.” I smiled gratefully. “One more thing.” She waved a hoof at me. “I believe there is a form you would be much more comfortable drinking in.” I thought for a moment, panic rising in my gut. My mind raced for an answer. “Relax. What fears do the dead have?” She leaned over and bopped me gently on the nose. My disguise shattered in a burst of flame. I sat before her in all my shiny changelingy-ness. “Isn’t that better?” I wanted to panic. To flee or fight. Anything, but sit here. However, I couldn’t. Celestia’s blanket of love was as calming as waking up to the hives thrumming rhythm in the morning. I looked back and forth at the guards to either side. They stared at me openly, but their spears were still at rest. So… so far so good? I nodded to her, “much better, thank you.” Honestly, I didn’t know what else to say. The whole situation was far too overwhelming. First death, now this? It was a lot to take in. “Magic carpet!” The pink fluffy carpet flew and swirled through the air. “Wee! Ride me!” I watched it with fascination. Celestia began sipping tea as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I had meant to ask if this was perhaps the afterlife for living objects, but something else entirely escaped my lips. “Why am I not being executed as a vicious love sucking monster?” She raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you have to be alive to be executed?” “Oh, good point again. I keep forgetting. So, ponies and changelings live together in harmony in the afterlife?” I looked at her inquisitively, and noted, that so did the guards to either side of her. Her voice flowed with silken honey. “There are enough misunderstandings in life to bury aspirations and shatter dreams. What hope is there for the living if we cannot find peace even in the beyond?” “But I was a mortal enemy to your kind…” “Oh? Oh my…” Her eyebrows creased with the same concern I’d seen Fluttershy use so often. “Please, elaborate, what horrible things have you done to my little ponies?” My mouth opened as if to prattle off a list of atrocities, but I stuttered, my brain churning for even one. Celestia waited, patiently sipping her tea. Then it hit me. “Oh, of course, changelings have been trying to invade Canterlot, and the pony royalty for years to secure a continuous food source. Doesn’t that make us enemies?” I cocked my head to the side curiously. “Perhaps,” she smiled gently, “however, such decisions, as invasions, are decrees of your queen. I can forgive you for following orders. However, if you are here on a mission of conquest, I am sorry to inform you that I have to detain you, and keep you under heavy guard until we can ascertain your intentions. Now, my little changeling, are you here on a devious and terrible mission?” “No! No-no-no!” I waved my hooves in front of me. “I left after my hive was slaughtered by a pony invasion force!” Celestia stopped drinking and stared at me long and hard. The mirth disappeared from her demeanor. I squirmed a bit after she didn’t answer. “No, really, I did leave. I’m not part of the hive anymore. I went lone fang.” Celestia took a deep breath and let out a long steadying sigh. “I believe you. I haven’t met a changeling yet who can effectively lie to the face of somepony who loves them.” She stopped to think for a moment. “Tell me, how shall I address you?” “Oh, uhm… My name is Shattered Dreams, but in Ponyville my food called me Dreamy.” I sipped some of the tea. It was amazingly delicious! “Oh, I do like Dreamy much better. May I call you Dreamy too?” I nodded. “Please do! Your tea, and your love, are absolutely delicious.” She giggled. “Why thank you, Dreamy.” She cleared her throat and stood up. “Dreamy, you said your food started calling you by this name, right?” The chair gasped for air. “Drea…” The curly purple haired guard shoved a hoof in the chairs mouth. I nodded in answer to Celestia while keeping a keen eye on that oddly angry chair. “Tell me, are these ponies kind to you? Have they helped you find happiness?” She slowly moved the tea cart out of the way with her magic and sat down on the floor closer to me. Her tea cup floated next to her gently bobbing up and down. I stared at it. It was so… so soothing. Celestia was absolutely huge this close up, yet I felt so calm. I couldn’t move if I wanted to. I almost wanted to just curl up in her forelegs and fall asleep. I thought for a moment, my mind was growing slightly fuzzy. “For the most part yes. I feel very welcome and mostly comfortable around them. There is one, though, Twilight Sparkle, who is constantly studying me. She scares me a little.” Celestia, ever so slightly, choked midsip of her tea. “Oh?” She raised a hoof and daintily coughed into it. “Yes, actually, she’s terrifying! She does horrible things to me with ‘measuring string’ and is constantly following me around with a notebook!” I clopped a hoof on the edge of my seat in frustration. “One time she even asked me about the regularity of my bowel movements!” Another ever so slight crack in Celestia’s calm demeanor as an eye twitched, and one side of her mouth curved up. The guard with purple hair stared in open mouthed horror at the pink streak guard, who was biting his lip and shaking his head. “What? So I was thorough! Medical exams are supposed to be thorough,” he whispered vehemently. “Are you even qualified?” The curly purple one whispered back. “Buck no she isn’t!” The chair piped in. “She’s just obsessed. Remember the measuring incident?” “She even measured the length of my…” The rest of my sentence was suddenly drowned out by the high piercing scream of the pink streaked guard as he fainted. The chair snickered. “I can’t believe he said it!” The curly purple haired guard shoved his hoof back in the chairs mouth. Celestia giggled openly for several second. “Oh, that must have been hard for you.” “Oh, yes, quite hard.” I replied with all seriousness. She giggled harder, her eyes squeezing shut as she covered her mouth politely with a hoof. After a moment she regained her composure. The tea cup continued its bobbing, interrupted only by an occasional sip. “Dreamy, please tell me, is there one pony that is more delicious than any other?” “Pinkie Pie!” I blurted out without hesitation. “She is amazing! She fed me this thing called a fruit parfait once. It had strawberries and blueberries all mixed in with yogurt, and it had whipped cream with a cherry on top. It tasted exactly like her love. It’s so delicious! I can’t get enough of her.” “I’m so happy for you. It is wonderful that you are meeting new friends, and have even found one you love. Does she love you back?” Celestia smiled warmly and stroked the top of my head. “Yes, she loves me, she feeds me often. She seems to love everypony, though. A lot like you, actually, but hers is more directed and chaotic. I don’t even know if they are really my friends, though. I don’t think I can have friends. Once they find out I’m a changeling they will all hate me.” I felt so relaxed. I’d never felt so relaxed. Her hoof passing over my head was so warm and gentle. I leaned into it reflexively. “I see. That is a terrible fear. However, if they are truly your friends, then they will accept you for who you are.” Her hoof stopped suddenly and retracted to her side. Her features grew sad. I could tell by the drooping of her eyebrows and the sudden slight downturn of the corners of her mouth. She took a long deep breath and sighed. “Dreamy, being a changeling is hard, but it is the least of your worries. Your memories are not entirely your own. I fear you have been manipulated and your memories altered. It is something I have seen many times before.” I suddenly felt a little dizzy. I just couldn’t raise my head high enough to look her in the eyes, and any articulation to my speech was impossible. “What? What happened?” “Something terribly unfair to you and the friends you have made. I’m going to ask you a question, and I need an answer straight from your heart.” Her whispers echoed in my ears, and it was all I could do to just nod. “I can send you back to the ponies you have befriended. Eventually, they will discover who you are, and you will have to face the fear of losing them. You may lose everything, or I can send you to a place with many of your kind where you will be happy, loved, and free of the hives forever, but you will never see them again.” I thought for a moment, her words sinking into the fuzz over my brain. I thought of being with my own kind and never having to worry about who I am, or what I am. Then, I remembered how my new friends tasted. They all had so much love and were always sharing with me. I blinked. I was suddenly looking up at Celestia from my back. She felt so warm and soft… and creamy… “Have you made a decision?” She asked gently. I nodded. “My decision… it tastes like parfait…” She giggled. “Truly spoken from the heart. Dreamy, I try so hard to bring peace and happiness to my little ponies, but no amount of effort can make it up to the ones who slip through the cracks. You will spend your whole life searching for love from everypony else to fill that void in your heart, but you will only be whole when you learn to love yourself.” “Love myself?” I whispered, my eyes closing. “I feel you will learn this lesson quickly. There are no ponies in this world more suited to teach you than the friends you have already made. I’m going to send you back now, Dreamy. I’m sorry, but you won't remember any of this.” “Why…” “Because, your hive…” Her words faded, and were lost in the hazy swirls of my mind.