> Smiles for Derpy Hooves
>  by Pony Sigma
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Smiles
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


“My name is Pinkie Pie, and I am here to say: I’m gonna make you smile and I will brighten up your day!”


~


If Pinkie Pie had one rule, it was that nopony was allowed to cry. Unless they were happy, of course. But Derpy Hooves didn’t look like she was happy. The unpredictable pegasus mare lay on the grass in the shadow of the gazebo in the park, sobbing quietly. Pinkie was confused: it was such a beautiful day, so why would anypony be sad? She skipped over to Derpy, put on her biggest, brightest smile, and said:
“Hi Derpy! What’s up?”
“Oh, hey, Pinkie,” Derpy sniffed. Pinkie Pie skipped around in a circle.
“What’re you doing here on a nice day like this?” she asked.
“I can’t tell you. You’d laugh at me!” Derpy replied, burying her head in her hooves.
“Well of course I’d laugh, silly, that’s what I do!” A few moments passed, and Pinkie realized that possibly that was not the type of laughter Derpy meant. And then she remembered seeing some of the young fillies pointing and laughing at the pegasus as she flew overhead on her mail route. When Derpy dropped a package and had to fly down to retrieve it, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had mocked her clumsy flying. Cheerilee had taken them aside and spoken to them afterwards, but it seemed the incident had already done its damage on the normally happy pegasus.
“Ooooh, you think I’d tease you?” Pinkie said, sitting down next to Derpy, “Of course not! I’m your friend, and friends don’t tease friends!”
“My friend? Nopony’s ever wanted to be my friend,” Derpy burbled, but her ears perked up
and she lifted her head off the ground. “What do friends do?”
“All sorts of things!” Pinkie jumped up and began bouncing in place. “Play games, run races, have parties, tell jokes, eat cupcakes-”
“Cupcakes?” Derpy looked up at Pinkie, her odd eyes suddenly bright and happy again.
“Sure! Do you like cupcakes? I like cupcakes!”
“I like muffins!” Derpy cheered, standing up. She looked at Pinkie Pie’s bouncing, her eyes bobbing to follow the motion. Then she jumped into the air, imitating the pink pony’s bounce. Bouncing on the ground was different from bouncing on clouds, Derpy thought. She decided it was fun.
“Can you make muffins?”
“Yup! We can make them together! Follow me!” Pinkie bounced off towards Sugar Cube Corner, Derpy Hooves skipping behind her, a wide smile on her face.
> Muffins
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie greeted the bakery’s owners as she bounced through the door.
“Oh, hello, Pinkie Pie,” Mrs. Cake said, pushing a cart of pastries out of the kitchen. Mr. Cake smiled at Pinkie from behind the counter.
“Who’s this?” Mrs. Cake looked towards Derpy, who was fluttering in the air, playing with the bells hanging from the doorframe.
“Derpy Hooves! She’s my friend. We’re going to make muffins!”
“That’s nice, dearie, just try not to make too much of a mess. We’ve got special visitors coming this afternoon!”
“Don’t worry! Since when did I ever make a mess?” Pinkie Pie assured Mrs. Cake, who simply smiled in her long-suffering manner and nodded that Pinkie could continue. Pinkie turned back to Derpy, who was now staring at the many colorful pastries in the glass display.
“C’mon! Let’s get started!” Pinkie said. She turned and bounced into the kitchen, Derpy following behind.
"We've got all the ingredients here!" the pink pony said, "Flour, sugar, butter, blueberries-" She gasped as a new idea came to her.
"And sprinkles! You normally have sprinkles with cupcakes, but we can have them with muffins. I mean, who doesn't love sprinkles? It's like eating confetti! I love confetti! Do you like confetti?"
Derpy turned around to answer, knocking over a stack of muffin trays with her wings. They fell to the floor with a clatter, and the pegasus jumped back from the noise, falling into another pile of pots and pans.
She poked her nose out of the pile.
"I love confetti! It's all bright, and colorful, and bright..."
"Great! We'll make blueberry muffins with sprinkles!" Pinkie said, taking no notice of the mess. She bounced over to the cupboard and began to pull out the ingredients. While she did this, Derpy explored the room, peering over shelves and into bowls.
“Pinkie! What’s this?” she asked, pointing a hoof at a cooling rack stacked high with warm brown loaves.
“Banana bread! It’s a new recipe from some of the Cakes’ friends in Fillydelphia. The Princess’s new royal guard ponies love it, so she’s ordered a whole bunch. They’re coming to pick it up later!”
“Ooooh! That sounds yummy!” Derpy started jumping again. Pinkie turned back to her work, throwing a lump of butter into the bowl she had been working with.
“Now then, you just need to mix this up and we’ll be set! And then we can bake them! That takes a long time but I never get bored cause I can just sing a song and then it’s fun! And then you get to EAT the muffins, and that’s the best part!“ Pinkie explained without pausing for breath.
“Yay!” Derpy cheered. She took the bowl from Pinkie and started stabbing at it with the spoon. Bits of half-mixed batter flew around the room.  
“That’s not gonna work, you need to stir it!” Pinkie laughed, licking a chunk of batter off her nose.
The pegasus hovered above the bowl and started to spin the spoon, causing the bowl to go flying across the room. It crashed against the cupboards, the contents sticking to the wood and spilling on the floor. Luckily, the bowl didn’t break. Pinkie Pie picked it up and dropped it in the sink.
“What happened? What did I do wrong?” Derpy questioned, looking at the mess. Then she added sadly, “Now I won’t get to have any muffins.”
“Of course you’ll have muffins! We can make another batch!” Pinkie laughed, already busy pulling out a new bowl and new ingredients. 
> Surprise
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next attempt at preparing muffins was somewhat more successful, although rather fewer blueberries went into the mix than originally planned. By the time two trays of muffins- one Pinkie’s expert creation and the other Derpy’s...slightly less expert work- went into the oven, most of the bright berries were already in Derpy’s belly. But neither pony cared much about that when the kitchen started to smell wonderfully of blueberry muffins.
Mrs. Cake poked her head through the door.
“Pinkie, dearie, you really should get ready! The guards will be here any minute now! Oh!” She gasped when she saw the mess in the kitchen. “Clean this up, Pinkie, quickly, we can't have them thinking we're untidy!”
“Okie-dokie-lokie! We'll get right on it! Don't you worry about a thing!” Pinkie assured her. Mrs. Cake turned to leave and narrowly avoided colliding with Twilight Sparkle.
“Pinkie Pie! Spike just got a letter— the Princess is coming! We have to get ready!” Twilight announced, “She says she wants to see us! I've already told the others, they should be here soon.”
She looked around at the fallen piles of pans, spilled batter, and smashed berries.
“It's such a mess in here! It can't be a mess if the Princess is coming!” Twilight deftly levitated the bowls and plates back into their cabinets and drawers. Finally, looking up, she noticed the grey pegasus who was currently fixated on blowing bubbles with the dish soap.
“Pinkie, what are you doing? Why is she in here?”
“We’re baking muffins! Derpy here loves muffins! I love muffins too. Almost as much as I love cupcakes!” Pinkie told her.
Derpy turned around at the sound of her name.
“The Princess! I want to see the Princess!” she exclaimed, looking hopefully at Twilight.
“Oh... I don't know if that would work...” Twilight began cautiously. She didn’t want to upset Derpy, but the idea of the awkward, clumsy pegasus possibly wreaking inadvertent havoc on this surprise royal visit was enough to set her mane on edge.
“Come on, Twilight, of course she can stay,” Pinkie protested, oblivious to the reason for Twilight’s hesitation. “Maybe the Princess would like one of the muffins we made! They’ll be done really soon”
“Yay! Muffins!” Derpy cheered, leaping into the air and turning a half-flip before crashing back down, knocking a rolling pin off the counter. It tumbled to the floor with a loud thud.
“Oops. I’ll get that!”  she said, putting it back on the counter.
“She’s not so bad. What’s the worst that could happen?” Pinkie said, already bouncing out of the kitchen, “Come on, Derpy, I need to get my party cannon!”
Derpy squeaked happily and skipped after her. Twilight stared after them.
“Party cannon?”
“Yep!” Pinkie reappeared after an impossibly short time with a brightly colored red-and-yellow cannon.
“If the Princess is coming, we should have a party!” She wheeled the party cannon out into the bakery, where the Cakes were frantically pacing the shop, adjusting tables and chairs and anything that seemed to be even minutely out of place.
“Pinkie, this really isn’t the time...” Mr Cake began.
“Whadd’ya mean? It’s always the time for a party!” Before she could be stopped, Pinkie had aimed the cannon at the ceiling and fired it. Streamers and balloons shot out, filling the room with perfectly arranged party decor within moments. Twilight sighed and hoped the Princess wouldn’t be too annoyed at this sudden change in plans, although somewhere in her mind she did know that Celestia would appreciate mostly anything she and her friends did for her.
Derpy bounced cheerfully around the room, blowing on a party whistle.
“Parties and muffins and the Princess!” she sang. Twilight shook her head. It was no use arguing with Pinkie, and anyway, she couldn’t send Derpy away now. She just prayed that the royal visit wouldn’t end in disaster.
> Friends
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bells over the door chimed as Rarity walked into the shop.
“Pinkie Pie! This is simply marvelous! You’ve truly outdone yourself,” she greeted Pinkie.
“Oh, it’s nothing. Not with my trust party cannon!” Pinkie said, leaning on the cannon in question.
“And Twilight, darling, you look incredible. Have you been to the spa? I  just came from there myself, of course. One must always look one’s finest when one’s Princess is coming for a visit!”
The door opened again and Applejack came into the room, followed by Rainbow Dash. The blue pegasus dragged a struggling Fluttershy by her tail.
“C’mon, Fluttershy, the Princess wants to see us all!” Dash said through a mouthful of hair.
“But...but I need to feed my animals!” Fluttershy complained, still trying to escape.
“No, ya don’t,” Applejack told her, “I heard ya say you could spend another hour helpin’ Rainbow Dash here with her new trick. What is it you’re scared of?”
“The guards! They’re all big and fierce and mean...”
“Celestia’s guards? Never! They won’t hurt you, Fluttershy,” Twilight promised.
“Well, in that case...” Fluttershy relaxed.
“Don’t worry,” Dash added, dropping Fluttershy’s tail. She noticed Derpy, who was still skipping around the room, chasing the balloons.
“What’s Derpy doing here? She’s gonna ruin the whole thing! You know what she did to the town hall!”
“Be nice, Dashie,” Pinkie answered, “Derpy helped me make muffins! We can’t exactly send her away before they’re done!”
“That’s right. And, Rainbow,” Applejack began, “didn’t ya promise Fluttershy you’d buy her a donut if she helped you with that trick?”
“But we’re not done!” Rainbow Dash protested. Applejack continued to stare at her.
“Oh, fine. What kind do you want?”
“Chocolate would be nice...” Fluttershy said.
Rainbow purchased the treat, keeping a wary eye on Derpy. The pegasus was floating around the room, hanging onto a large yellow balloon.
“Pinkie!” she squeaked, “This is fun!”
“You said it, Derpy!” Pinkie Pie laughed, floating by on a pink balloon of her own. Flutttershy, nibbling at her donut, looked concernedly up at them.
“You should be careful! That doesn’t look safe...”
“Pinkie, Derpy, get down!” Twilight called, “We need to be ready for the Princess!”
Reluctantly, Pinkie let go of her balloon and floated gently to the floor. Twilight tried to ignore the blatant violation of the law of gravity. It took another prompting for Derpy to release her balloon. She tumbled to the ground, landing with a smack on one of the fancily-draped tables. She climbed to her feet, laughing happily, her gold eyes spinning.
Pinkie’s right ear twitched. She gasped happily.
“The muffins are ready! C’mon, Derpy, let’s go get them!”
“Oooh! My muffins! Yay! Let’s go get them, Pinkie!”
The two ponies skipped into the kitchen. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
“Look, Twilight, do you really think this is a good idea? She’s so clumsy! What if she messes everything up?”
“Well, I think it’ll be okay,” Fluttershy said, “Look at how happy she is!”
“I suppose...” Twilight sounded uncertain.
“Let her stay. Celestia will understand,” Applejack stated firmly.
“If Celestia can handle Pinkie Pie, Derpy will be no problem,” Rarity added.
“Yes. She’s Pinkie’s friend, in any case. We have to respect that,” Twilight concluded.    
> Lessons
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bells on the bakery door chimed again as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon entered, clearly intent on after-school snacks.  
“Hmph. This is so tacky!” Diamond Tiara sniffed, unimpressed with the party decor. The two fillies strode up to the counter.
“We’ll have two fruit tarts!” she demanded. Mr. Cake finished adjusting a tablecloth before returning to his place at the counter.
“Such terrible service!” Silver Spoon complained. Mr. Cake pulled the pastries out from the case.
“That’ll be one bit, girls,” he said. Diamond Tiara sniffed again and threw the coin on the counter.  
Silver Spoon had just taken a bite out of her tart when Derpy and Pinkie emerged from the kitchen,each carrying a steaming tray of blueberry muffins.  
“Look! Look! I made muffins!” Derpy exclaimed, the tray bouncing in her mouth. Pinkie put her own tray of perfect muffins down on a table and smiled at her friends. Derpy followed her motion and placed her tray next to Pinkie’s. Her muffins were lopsided and slightly burned, but she didn’t seem to care.
“Oh, Derpy, those look... really nice,” Fluttershy said.
“Nice! Ha!” Diamond Tiara snorted, “Those are, like, the stupidest muffins I’ve ever seen!”
“Yeah! Those are muffins? I thought they were, like, trash!” Silver Spoon added.
“Of course they’re stupid,” Diamond sneered, “Bubble-brain here made them. Looks like she can’t do anything right.”
Derpy’s ears drooped.
“Well,” said a familiar voice, “that certainly isn’t any way for young ponies to behave.”
“Princess!”  Twilight gasped. The ponies in the bakery knelt as Princess Celestia walked into the building, flanked by two of her pegasus guards. The fillies stared at her in shock.
“Diamond Tiara! Silver Spoon! Haven’t you learned anything about friendship? Little ponies should never tease others. Apologize at once!” Celestia ordered sternly. The two fillies, left with no other choice, muttered apologies to Derpy Hooves.
“I think you should be getting home now. Both of you.” It wasn’t a suggestion. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon slunk out of the bakery, leaving their treats behind.
Her tone gentle again, the Princess greeted each of the six friends and the Cakes by name. Then she turned to Derpy, who still looked sad.
“I think those are lovely muffins. May I have one?”
Derpy’s ears pricked up, and she smiled.
“Sure!” she exclaimed, skipping over to Celestia with the tray in her mouth. The Princess levitated one out of the tray and took a bite. She smiled.
“Oh, these are good!” she exclaimed. Derpy gave a big grin.
“Of course they’re good”  she said, ‘they’re muffins!”
“Huh? But...” Rainbow Dash swooped down and snatched one up. “Wow!”, she said through a mouthful of muffin.
“You’re all so silly!” Pinkie Pie laughed, taking a muffin as well, “You think she’d ever make bad muffins?”
Derpy hovered around the room, offering muffins to everypony, even the guards. The two pegasi were initially unresponsive, but at Celestia’s prompting, they were soon enjoying the muffins along with the rest of the ponies. Rarity took a cup of tea as well, and Applejack finished Diamond Tiara’s untouched fruit tart.    
“I do apologize for being late,” the Princess said, “You can’t imagine how difficult it was to convince the court at Canterlot to let me come here with only two guards. Arrow Point and Light Speed here are new additions to the guard,” She nodded at the pegasi, “They’re recruits from Cloudsdale. They were feeling a bit homesick, so I told them to go for a visit and pick up some treats. I decided to come along to visit my favorite student and her friends!”
Twilight beamed.
The Cakes emerged from the kitchen carrying boxes of neatly packed banana bread. The guards took these, nodding politely to the bakers. Princess Celestia levitated a pouch of bits to Mr. Cake, who caught it and put it in his saddlebags.
Derpy finished her own muffin and approached Celestia.
“Princess?”
“Yes, my little pony?”
“Thank you for coming here! Pinkie Pie really deserves it! She’s the best baker-party-maker-pony ever!”
The Princess laughed. “Yes, little one. And I gather you’ve all learned a valuable lesson about friendship.”
“What, ‘new friends make really good parties?’ ” Pinkie suggested, confused. “I already knew that!”
“Yes, Pinkie Pie. That’s an important lesson. But there’s one other.”
“I know! I know!” Derpy cheered, bouncing up and down, “friends make good muffins together!”
Everypony laughed at this.
“That too,” said Celestia,  “but what else have you learned today?” She looked at Twilight.
“Maybe...” Twilight began, “Maybe it’s that everypony deserves to have a friend.”
“And that you should never exclude anypony who needs one,” Rainbow Dash continued, “even if they seem different or silly.”
“Yes, my little ponies,” Princess Celestia said.
Derpy chimed in with another lesson: “And having friends is really really fun!”