> Scent of Roses > by Winston > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Part 1 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scent of Roses Part 1 Rainbow Dash was sitting at the kitchen table of her cloud home. The letter had just been delivered minutes ago. A torn open envelope, addressed simply to "Rainbow Dash, Ponyville" and slapped with a couple stamps bearing Princess Celestia's face in profile, was tossed haphazardly in the middle of the table, discarded. The important part, the letter itself, was carefully folded open, laying flat in front of her. "You gotta be kidding me." She said softly, incredulously. It was difficult for her to believe what she was seeing. Five years, Rainbow Dash reflected, staring ponderingly at the sheet of paper. It was hard to tell... She couldn't decide whether this letter was a happy or an unsettling occasion, after such a long silence. She hadn't even thought about it in so long. But some things never go away completely. Five years. Sometimes even those five years seemed like they could evaporate into nothing, like there was no distance, like it all happened yesterday. When she read it, her experiences in the whirlwind of the war rushed back to the surface, from parts of her memory that would always be there no matter what. It was all still clear, vivid in surprising resolution. The sights and sounds, and maybe most strongly, the smells... Fire, and screaming, and blood... More than anything, that was what always got to her the most, recalling the sight and scent of so much shed blood... The smell. The smell was the worst. The visions could fade with time, like an old photograph turning grainy, hazy, an unrealness to emphasize that it was over now, and distant... But the scent's recollection never lost even a little bit of the edge. It was true what she'd heard Twilight Sparkle read out of a science book once, that scent is the sense most strongly keyed to specific memories. Always like it was right there, fresh in her nose, every time something made her remember. She started uncomfortably as her thoughts drifted into the upwelling of these memories, brushing up against it almost without even realizing at first. This kind of sudden unsought recall hadn't happened in a long time. It wasn't even necessarily a very painful or distressing experience to her, now, with the distance of time and a rebuilt knowledge and confidence in herself, but it was still powerful nonetheless. She shook her head and looked away, surveying her home, grounding herself firmly in the thought that she was here and not... Not there. Not for a long time now. It was over. What she could say, at least, was that for all she'd been through, she made it. She had a handle on things. Those first six months or so were rough, but by the time when she'd told her last, most painful secrets to Twilight Sparkle, she'd already been getting better, she knew she'd be able to overcome it. With time, her life and her mind were peaceful and happy again... Mostly... That was more or less enough. The slow, steady progress of a normal life, having quietly regained her peace. That, she finally realized, was about all any pony could ask for, and knowing what things would be like without that, she was eternally thankful to have it. Truth be told, she was, most essentially, just content that it was over. She was very glad for her five years of it being over, of not having to think too much about it these days. She hoped it would stay that way. After a deep breath, she turned back and slowly read the letter again. Hey Dash, This is Gilda (the griffin). I'm writing this letter hoping that it gets to you, because I don't really know anyone else who can help. Sorry I don't remember your exact address, but I'm pretty sure there's only one Rainbow Dash in Ponyville, so it should be good enough to get where it's going. The postal services are usually pretty quick, so I'm hoping it arrives in time. The whole story's pretty long, so here's the short version. I'm back in Equestria, and I'm in jail. And the best part is... The one time I get tossed behind bars is the time I didn't do anything to deserve it! They picked me up a little outside the city of Jennetstown, up north. I was crossing back into Equestria through the mountain passes up there. I didn't think about how they might not like griffins around that area so much, after the war. I guess I'm just dumb. I thought things would be cool, because I served on the Equestrian side of the war, have Equestrian citizenship, all that. I didn't think about how they might not believe me if I didn't have my paperwork or any identification, which of course I didn't. I've been out drifting the world for five years. I've been kinda homeless, to be honest with you. I got nothing but my fur and feathers and a backpack with some food and water I was carrying (which they confiscated, of course - jerks!). So anyway, these pegasus cops busted me and hauled me into the town jail. They questioned me for a long time. They haven't charged me with anything, but I'm pretty sure the way they see it, I'm guilty of being a griffin on a weekday. More seriously, I'm also pretty sure they think I'm a spy or some kind of scout for a griffin raiding party, like the old school kind of raiders that started the war in the first place. I told them that was stupid. Everyone knows there's treaties in place, every griffin is way too scared to break them after what happened in the war. I told them I was born in Equestria, worked for the Equestrian army in the war, that I'm allowed to be in this country, all of it... But they're not buying anything without my documents or someone to back my story up. The reason I'm writing to you, Dash, is because if I can prove my story with a reliable witness or some papers or something in the next week or so, they said they'd let me go. Otherwise, they'd probably end up turning me over to the royal guard and I'll go into the royal judicial authority system. I'm not too worried about that because they can get into contact with the Equestrian Royal Army and get a copy of my paperwork, which should spring me, but it'll take forever and be a pain in the flank, and I know they'll keep me locked up until that all gets figured out. Not fun, dude. So I know this is a lot to ask, but I'm really hoping that there's some way you can get here and help me out. I know that Jennetstown has a train line that runs into it, so I guess it wouldn't be too hard to get here, though of course I have no way of knowing the train schedules. I guess you should know where it is pretty well, anyway, I think you said around here is where you were stationed in the war. Please write me back and let me know. Just address it to the Jennetstown jail, I'm pretty sure they'll figure it out. I'm the only Gilda, and the only griffin, here, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I understand if you can't do anything, or if you don't want to, and I wouldn't blame you. I don't want to mess with your life. I was a pretty bad friend back in the day, aside from me being a reminder of the war that I'm sure you could do without. I know it did bad things to both of us. I wouldn't even write except that I'm just really over a haybale here. I'm gonna owe you big time if you can help me out. See you (I hope), Gilda Soaking in the somewhat disjointed, unreal-seeming novelty that this was really happening, Rainbow Dash felt a little numb in a funny kind of way. "Man, Gilda..." She sighed and shook her head slowly. "You have got to be kidding me!" She repeated herself, a bit louder. Five years... That was also the time since Rainbow Dash had last seen that particular griffin, just after she came home from the war, during those critical first few months when they were both still struggling so bitterly inside with the residual effects, trying to reconcile the return to normalcy... Trying to deal with it all. Gilda couldn't. She'd paid a visit to make her apologies and inform Dash that she was leaving Equestria for... A while. An undefined, probably long while. Maybe forever, Dash had assumed. Since that day, though they parted as friends, that was the last they'd heard of each other. Now this letter was here, showing up out of the blue. Rainbow Dash couldn't help thinking about the capriciousness of random chance that it even arrived at all. Derpy Hooves was the carrier who'd delivered it, and Derpy was occasionally known to misplace mail, causing it to be delivered later than it should have been. If fate had made it work out that way, maybe things would have been different, as Dash sat reading the letter - maybe not so urgent, because it might have been too late by then. Maybe it would have been somepony else's problem, some army clerk who'd have to dig out a record and transcribe a copy, and Rainbow Dash would be able to dust off her hooves and call it a day because there'd be nothing else she could do anyway. But as it was, with time to head off larger complications, Dash knew that this one fell on her. Whether that was fate or random chance, the luck of the Derpy draw, this was how it happened. Although she felt a tinge of guilt for thinking it, she wondered if she was relieved it had just happened to arrive promptly, or if she really wished it had been delayed long enough to remove the real necessity of her having to face it... And Jennetstown. Good Celestia, why'd it have to be Jennetstown? Rainbow Dash figured that was also just part of the luck of the draw. Nothing to be done about it, anyway. Even as much as she knew her feelings were still all kinds of mixed up about that place... She couldn't ignore it. She knew, without having to really ask herself, that her feelings, the inner voice of her mind, would never let her. A friend's in trouble, you gotta go help them. That's just the rule. Loyalty. That's how it works. That's what it does. A quick reply would be the first step. For that, a certain kind of assistance would be helpful in expediting things as much as possible, she thought, and to get what she needed, it was time to hit the library... "That's kind of a ridiculous spell, you realize." Twilight Sparkle said, regarding Rainbow Dash a little strangely from across a small table. "I mean, sure, I think I can do it, but it's going to take a few minutes of concentration to map out exactly where this jail's front desk is. Teleporting anything across this kind of distance is a real test." "I know, Twilight." Rainbow Dash said, looking up from the train schedule she was reading. "You know I don't like asking you to use your magic for stunts like this, but it's an emergency. I just really, really need this to get there, like, yesterday." "It's no problem, really. I understand." Twilight said. She thought for a second. "Although I don't think I can do much for yesterday. Time travel's usually remarkably unhelpful, anyway..." She added with a knowing grin. "Yeah, I guess not..." Rainbow Dash said, distractedly, looking over her schedule. "Right. So the train leaves Ponyville at 7pm tomorrow, runs through the night, and gets into Jennetstown by 7am the next morning. Guess that's as fast I'm gonna get there." She wrote down the details on a sheet of paper in front of her, finishing up the letter she was working on. She folded the sheet of paper, worked it into an envelope, licked the flap, and sealed it. Finally, she turned it over and addressed it to "Gilda, the griffin, Jennetstown Jail". "Hey... I just realized, you save on postage this way." Twilight Sparkle noted. "Very convenient." "Yep! You've uncovered my secret scheme to weasel out of paying for a quarter bit stamp!" Rainbow Dash laughed. "Ha ha..." Twilight was briefly amused. "So... You're really going all the way to Jennetstown to spring that griffin friend of yours from jail?" "Well... It isn't gonna happen on its own, and I don't know of anypony else who's gonna do it." Rainbow Dash shrugged. "So yeah. I guess I am." Twilight pondered a bit. "Can I ask why she's in jail?" "Not for any good reason." Rainbow Dash replied. "Her letter made it sound like they locked her up just for being a griffin without an ID." "Well, that's kind of..." Twlight trailed off. "Messed up?" Rainbow Dash suggested. "Yeah, it is." "Are you sure that's the only reason?" Twilight asked. "I haven't really known her to be much of a liar." Rainbow Dash said. "It's just that I remember she was kind of... Not exactly very pleasant." Twilight remarked. "No offense." "Last time you met her, she was being kind of a jerk, I agree." Rainbow Dash said. "But there's a difference between being a jerk and a liar. And anyway, last time I talked to her, before she left, she seemed... Different... The war, Twilight. It changed her... It changed her a lot. She knows how it... How it felt... I think she wouldn't be trying to get hold of me unless she really needed this help. This isn't some kind of game. She's seriously in trouble. I can tell." "Alright." Twilight nodded. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to second-guess you." "Nah." Rainbow Dash shook her head. "They're reasonable questions. I guess... I can't really expect most ponies to understand completely." Rainbow Dash looked at the sealed letter in front of her, studying its surface for a few moments. She seemed fleetingly apprehensive about something. "Alright... Let's get this over with." She said, with a sigh, looking up at Twilight Sparkle. "Right." Twilight nodded. "Here we go." She concentrated, staring at the letter, and her horn began to glow, faintly at first, then gained intensity. Slowly, gently, she closed her eyes and her face softened, as if she was transfixed on something ephemeral, trying to grasp it. After a few moments, beneath her closed eyelids, Rainbow Dash could see Twilight's eyes moving, side to side, as if she was examining something, taking in a scene and learning the details, seeking something out. This lasted for several minutes, until finally a few faint white sparks flared from the tip of her horn. A few seconds later, the letter on the table in front of her became charged with the same pale purple glow as her horn, and it gently floated, briefly, a couple inches into the air, before disappearing with a faint pop and a gentle shower of the same small skittering sparks. The glow faded from Twilight's horn, and she opened her eyes and exhaled heavily, visibly relaxing a tension carried in her muscles, as if released from a heavy exertion. "That'll do it." Twilight said, with a faint, slightly tired, smile. "I'm pretty sure I even saw the desk officer notice it appear. Boy, did it look like it surprised him, too." "Awesome. Thanks, Twi." Rainbow Dash smiled back a little. "... Guess I have no choice, now..." she murmured. "Something the matter?" Twilight asked, slightly surprised to notice her friend's apparent apprehension. "Don't you want to go?" "And see Jennetstown again? Yeah, not so much, Twilight." Rainbow Dash replied. "But... This isn't really about what I want. So it doesn't really matter, does it?" "Of course it matters!" Twilight said. "Why, what's wrong with Jennetstown?" "... Nothing. The town itself is fine." Rainbow Dash said hesitantly. "It's just... You know, sometimes, there's things you know you need to face but... It's hard, and you don't know if you know how... So you don't really want to..." Neither of them said anything for a moment. "... But I know I'll never really know how until I just go do it, and the deal's done now anyway. I have to go there, this is what has to happen and that's it. I think some part of me's known that for a long time, and now there's just a convenient reason finally making me." Rainbow Dash said. "I'm... I'm scared, but maybe I'm kinda glad that the day's here when there's no way to run anymore, you know?" "What are you scared of?" Twilight asked. "Everything still waiting for me there." Rainbow Dash said distantly. "Everything that's been waiting there for five years." Twilight couldn't get anything more than that out of Rainbow Dash. She had to be off, no more time to hang around the library... There was a train ticket to go buy. The room was small. Standard enlisted quarters - not really a room, a tent, actually. The walls were heavy cloth, held up by a light metal framework. It was a plain tan, nondescript color, no designs or decorations, except for one thing, a bundle of dried flowers tied with a string to one of the metal crossbars supporting the ceiling. They were there for the slight, barely noticable fragrance they still emitted, set against the smell of earth from under the layer of canvas spread out on the ground, forming the floor. In the two corners opposite the wall with the door - a strapped shut flap of cloth, simple but effective enough at keeping out the elements - there were a couple of sets of saddlebags and small duffels that Rainbow Dash knew held carefully packed personal belongings and flight gear. Light was provided by a lantern placed near the wall midway between the two sets of bags. It was reasonably effective, if yellowish, light, filling the tent sufficiently. She was laying down on her belly on top of a blanket, folded in half and spread out on the floor, made of a coarse but soft and comfortable thick woolen material, dyed the usual colorless neutral army-issue grey. There was another pony laying down next to her, facing her, the front halves of their bodies overlapping side by side. She was also a pegasus, with an off-white coat, the color of white stone, like a statue, and a just slightly deeper colored beige mane and tail. Her eyes were sky blue, her cutie mark a dark stormcloud pouring rain. Rainbow Dash recognized her with a familiar ease. It was her friend Alabaster. Being here felt normal - it felt like home. That was only natural, since for three years a tent like this had been home, and Alabaster had been the fellow soldier she'd shared it with... At least, until... Until it happened... But that didn't seem to matter. She was here now, and that felt like how it was supposed to be. The two of them were oriented on each others' left sides, their left wings spread out before each other. Instinctively, Rainbow Dash was inspecting the white pegasus' feathers, every primary and secondary, noticing every gap or irregularity breaking the perfection of their surfaces, and running them gently through her teeth to comb and groom them back into top condition. Alabaster was likewise performing the same preening on Rainbow Dash's wing. It was calming, soothing, focusing on detailing every feather one by one and feeling the same being done to her own feathers and not thinking about anything else, letting go of all the stresses, fears, everything else negative. Preening was an important part of the day - it was a ritual, a necessity, a carefully performed essential point of maintenance. To the combat fliers, the condition of their wings was a matter of life and death. To any pegasus, letting another pony preen their wings was a bond of closeness and trust, but to them, especially so. The sense of intimacy, connection, wasn't quite like anything she had with any other pony, ever before or ever since. For a few minutes, she enjoyed the easy silence, ruffling through feathers, cleaning and arranging, working them perfectly into place. Eventually, they were done, and they both slowly folded their wings back into resting position against the sides of their bodies. Rainbow Dash turned her head and looked to the left. Alabaster looked over also, and the two of them locked eyes. As they did, Alabaster smiled, just slightly, in a friendly way. An aura of contentment and happiness was on her face. When she looked into that face, something about it, something deep inside her own heart, brought a sudden unexpected welling of sadness into Rainbow Dash. She bowed her head a little and cast her eyes down, unable to keep meeting those of her friend. "You alright, Dash?" Alabaster asked in a soft voice. "I'm sorry." Rainbow Dash said in response. "It's not your fault." Alabaster replied gently. "It still feels like it is." Rainbow Dash said, in a cracking voice. "Really, Dash, it's not your fault." Alabaster said, barely above a whisper. "It's okay." "I'm sorry..." Tears broke over Rainbow Dash's eyes and rolled down her face. "I'm so sorry..." "Hey, c'mon." Alabaster reached over with her forelegs and embraced Rainbow Dash. "Everything's okay now. It's alright." Rainbow Dash hugged her back, and tears kept flowing forth. Gentle sobs escaped her. She never wanted to let go, even as she knew somehow that shortly there would be no choice. She closed her eyes and leaned her head on Alabaster's neck. She felt Alabaster lean her cheek against the side of her head. "It's okay..." Alabaster's voice whispered in her ear. "It's okay..." Everything was black. Everything was gone. Briefly, there was nothing, just a sense of utterly nothing at all. Starting a little bit, Rainbow Dash woke up. She was laying in her bed, in her cloud house over Ponyville. It was the middle of the night, with the dark surrounding her. The faintest glow of gentle silver moonlight filtered in through a window, and in it, she could just make out the nightstand next to her bed, the one on which she knew that Gilda's letter, and her train ticket, bought that afternoon, were resting, paperweighted down by a rock - a random present at some point from Pinkie Pie, who'd said it was some specially particular kind of rock. Rainbow Dash had kept it around because she'd felt honored to get it as a gift - it seemed to mean something to Pinkie by the way she'd squealed with delight the day she found it laying by the roadside. Even though Dash wasn't quite sure what it was, herself, she liked it because it reminded her of her pink party animal friend. Lots of the things in her home reminded her of her friends. The blanket and the sheets on her bed right now were birthday presents Rarity had sewed for her. A framed photograph of Fluttershy surrounded by an unbelievable swarm of butterflies was sitting on the dresser. Rows of books - the entire Daring Do series, among scores of others, mostly exciting adventure novels - that Twilight had passed down to her lined her bookshelf. Even the fridge did, full of vegetables and fruits from Applejack's farm. But all those things, all her surroundings, were lifeless, cold and silent, no comfort in the dead of the night. Rainbow Dash found herself very conscious of feeling alone, so starkly alone, and she longed for Alabaster's presence, to feel it again the way she just had moments ago - but it was only a dream. Alabaster wasn't there in Ponyville, never had been... ... Never would be. Rainbow Dash would never see her again. Never. Never. The word, the concept, hit with a finality that stung, suddenly, sharply, inside of her. Rainbow Dash's tears were there with her, though. They wetted her pillow and they were still flowing down her face as her heart ached, lying there in bed, crying softly. She knew, in that moment, that this trip would be even harder than she'd thought. She was at a loss for how she was going to do what needed to be done. A small sense of despair at how impossible it seemed ran through her, and she laid awake for a while, being gnawed by it, until finally somehow the dark mercifully swallowed her back up into a sleep in which she didn't dream any further. A part of her wanted nothing more than to just lay there, forever, in unthinking oblivion, never having to face tomorrow... Never having to wake again. *Tink...* *Tink... Tink...* The sound of something tapping on the window woke Rainbow Dash. She opened her eyes, slowly, to see that the sun was long since up. Despite sleeping in she still felt tired, drained and not fully recovered after that dream. It lingered unpleasantly in her thoughts and mood like a bad taste in her mouth. The tapping persisted. "Ugh." Rainbow Dash groaned, yawning. "Wha...?" On the next tap, she saw that it was a piece of gravel, being thrown at the window, presumably to attract attention. No. Not thrown. The stone was hovering. All the noises were just one piece of gravel, being repeatedly tapped on the windowpane. Twilight Sparkle. Rainbow Dash realized it had to be her. None of her other friends were telekinetically talented enough. Or maybe some of them were - Rarity had some skill - but even so they would have had the sense to more simply find some way to just ring the doorbell or knock on the door. Not Twilight, though. Magic just 'cause she could, just for the fun of it. This was her kind of style. And she would keep it up until she got what she wanted. Dash pushed the covers off of herself and got up. She cracked her neck and took a deep breath, shaking out lingering cobwebs of sleep, eyes still half-closed. Shuffling out of the bedroom and to the front door of the house, she blinked out the sandy feeling from her eyes and pushed disheveled hair from her mane out of her face. At the door, she stopped for a second and took a moment to stretch out... Front legs, then back legs, then wings, and a quick twist of her back. It helped get her blood flowing and wake up a little. She opened the door and walked outside onto the cloud layer underlying the house. Stepping to the edge, she looked down at the ground. Yep. Twilight Sparkle was there, looking expectantly back up at her. She waved one forehoof in greeting. "Hi Rainbow!" She shouted upward. "Hi. What's going on, Twi?" Rainbow Dash shouted back. "I gotta talk to you about something!" Twilight shouted back. "I... Sorry. I didn't wake you up, did I?" "Nah. It's alright." Rainbow Dash shouted in return. "It's already late, anyway. Just gimme a second, I'm coming down." "Okay." Twilight nodded. With that, Rainbow Dash stepped over the edge of the cloud, opening her wings just as she began to fall and caught the air. Without needing to flap, she rode the wind downward, gliding to the ground to land in front of Twilight. For a moment, they stood there silently, looking at each other. "Good morning, Rainbow." Twilight smiled. When she did, it seemed forced, uneasy. What a terrible poker face. Rainbow Dash was sure she was up to something. "What is it, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked, deciding to cut to the chase. "Umm... Alright... So, Rainbow..." Twilight began, speaking a little slowly, as if feeling her way around her words, "I was thinking... I mean, we talked about it... Me and Applejack and Pinkie and Rarity... And Fluttershy, of course... And we were all thinking... You know, you seemed worried, and... Well, this trip you're about to go on. You shouldn't have to do it alone, should you? We're your friends, and this is what friends are for, so... I just came over to ask, would you like us to go with you to Jennetstown?" "Oh... Twilight, you don't have to do that." Rainbow Dash shook her head. "This is... My responsibility... Not yours. Not anypony else's." "Oh. I see." Twilight said, in a crestfallen voice. She hung her head, but she looked up at Rainbow Dash with little bit of a smile, a hopeful, expectant expression. "That's unfortunate, because these train tickets we already bought would go to waste, then." Silence. Rainbow Dash had a sinking feeling as she realized exactly where this was going. "Is this gonna be one of those times when you're pretending you're asking to make me feel better but I don't actually have a choice?" She sighed. Twilight Sparkle just smiled a little bit wider and nodded yes, with a gleam in her eyes. "Would it do any good at all to resist or sneak off alone?" Rainbow Dash asked, inflecting a note of hopefulness into her voice, even though she already knew the answer. "Nope!" Twilight kept smiling, and shook her head. "Didn't help Applejack that one time, did it? Even with her head start. And we already know where you're going. I'd say you pretty much don't stand a chance." Rainbow Dash had a troubled look on her face. Yes, this is just what they'd do, she thought. They would insist, because it's how they were... But they didn't understand. They didn't know what they could be in for. She waited, saying nothing, until Twilight's smile faded away. "Look... This isn't going to be a fun trip." Rainbow Dash said. "I'm pretty sure none of you will like it there. It's not a tourist kind of town, and what I have to do is not pleasant. I also know that all of you have better things to do here at home. I just don't want to be a burden, taking everypony away from what they're already responsible for. It's better for us all if you just let me do this on my own." "No..." Twilight Sparkle said, more serious now. "No, it isn't. Not anymore, not this time. I know that you always want to protect us, and I know you're worried. I would be, too, to have to go back to someplace associated with a tough part of my life. But you don't have to shield us from this, not anymore. We need you to let us help, because by always trying to keep us protected, you're keeping us out. You know you don't have to carry things alone. We want to understand more about what happened to you out there. We need to see it, with you. We're your friends and we need to do this for you. We can all make arrangements to cover things around here for a couple days, but we can't be there for you if we don't go." Rainbow Dash and Twilight just stared at each other for a long moment. "You fought a war for us... For everypony." Twilight finally said. "Just let us try and help fight for you for once. Really. Let us do this for you. Please?" Differing thoughts ran through Dash's head, struggling with each other. She knew that if she really wanted to, she could make them not come with... She could get angry, she could yell at them, make them understand that it would just be too much to handle, having them along. But she knew it would hurt them if she did. They'd feel pushed away. They'd resent the rejection. But they'd get over it, of course. They wouldn't even show it, probably. They'd understand, in their own ways. They wouldn't blame her. And maybe it would be for their own good, whether they realized it or not. They didn't need to see this, they didn't need to experience... Not this... She'd been the one to volunteer, to go fight for all of them so that they wouldn't ever have to see it, not in this kind of way. But if she didn't let them... Then nothing would change. They'd be kept at the same distance they always had - and this chance would be gone. Maybe there'd never be another one like it. That unspoken rift between her and them would be permanent. And that... That would disappoint them. It would make them feel, yet again, like they couldn't do enough, like they couldn't help. In the end... She couldn't stand the thought of making them feel like she was sidelining them, making them feel useless. Not again. Even if it felt in her own mind like it was for their own good, she had to admit that denying them wasn't fair, not anymore. Twilight was right. Trying to protect them would be outweighed by the pain she'd cause them by not being a good friend, and by not accepting their efforts to be good friends. The truth was, they did need to do this. She knew they did because putting herself in their horseshoes, she knew that she would need to, also. Loyalty should understand that best of all, shouldn't she? Wasn't one friend needing to help another the entire reason this trip was happening in the first place? And even besides all that, Twilight Sparkle's implied threat that they, or at least some of them, would just show up anyway was reasonably credible, even if she could initially make them stay here. Inevitably, their consciences and their concerns would eat at them until they'd change their minds and and find a way to follow her, somehow. She was forced to conclude there was no way out. "Fine." Rainbow Dash said in a small voice, looking down at the ground. "If you've already bought tickets and everything..." "Alright! Thank you!" Twilight smiled. "Where is everypony else, anyway?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking around at the empty field as it occurred to her. "Already at home packing." Twilight said. Rainbow Dash looked at her with slight incredulousness. They really were coming with no matter what, weren't they? "Sorry about being so presumptuous like that..." Twilight said with a sheepish little nervous grin. "But it was kinda short notice, we didn't have much time to lose. We're meeting back up at the library when we're ready. Train leaves at 7pm. Eh, but you already know that... Just meet us at the library when you're ready, we'll go from there." "Right." Rainbow Dash nodded. She found herself conflicted. It was an odd mixture of relief at knowing she'd have her friends, but apprehension about the uncomfortable things it might mean. She couldn't decide if this trip just got easier or even harder again. Maybe both. Probably both. > Part 2 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scent of Roses Part 2 The sky was blue - the deep, vivid, incredible cerulean that was only really experienced from high in the air, from hundreds or thousands of feet above the earth. At that height, even moreso than from the ground, the sky was an expanse that seemed like it went on forever, curving overhead in an unending spherical dome, arching down toward the incomprehensibly distant horizon and wrapping around the very planet itself to envelop it all. Only a few miniscule puffs of white fluffy clouds, like tiny islands in that vast ocean, dotted it. Clarity was perfect, the morning sun bathed everything in radiance. A great day for flying. Rainbow Dash flapped leisurely through it, gliding at intervals. Soft wind ran across her limbs and her body, gently rippling the flightsuit she wore. Her eyes were taking in the spectacular view from under the clear lenses of her goggles. At this slow speed, Dash would have preferred not to wear them at all, but the goggles were part of the Combat Flier's proscribed personal protective gear for operating in the field. It wasn't trivial. There was no telling when a patrol could turn into a high speed chase - or escape. She looked over at her partner, flying at the same pace on her left. The same flightsuit covered her, light grey, neutrally colored to help break its silhouette against a pale horizon in the daylight hours. It covered her mane, the same way Dash's was covered, keeping it hidden and neatly out of the way, only her ears sticking out at the top of her head. The same goggles covered her eyes, the same small gear pouches were strapped to her, carried on her sides. The two could have almost been the same pony, individuality of appearance suppressed under the uniformity of their military equipment and clothing, except for the other pegasus' white wings and flowing beige tail versus Dash's light blue wings and rainbow-splashed tail tapering off into looser, messier ends. Alabaster had always had better hair... If 'groomed' and 'pretty' were the criteria for 'better'. Dash was aware that this was how most ponies judged it, but tended to disagree. She preferred the wild look, to just let her mane and tail do what they wanted. The two of them cut a wide arc over the ground below, turning very gradually for the next new minutes, tracing along the circular route they were supposed to be patrolling for signs of any incursion by the Northern Griffin Kingdom's army into Equestria. Nothing exciting was happening, for a while, until suddenly Alabaster raised one forehood straight forward, toward the north, pushing it back and forth with urgency, trying to point something out. Dash followed it with her eyes, snapping her head in the indicated direction. A small dark silhouette was just visible in the distant sky ahead. It was too small yet to resolve many details, but the overall feel of the conformation was hard to mistake. Pointier wings than a pegasus, broader, with feathers that tipped up slightly at the ends... The wings of an eagle. Forelimbs folded up, carried like a bird, back limbs stretched out trailing behind. Rainbow Dash pulled up suddenly, breaking for a small nearby cloud. She darted into and through it from beneath and emerged from the top to land on it. Alabaster paralleled her flawlessly, landing next to her. Crouching down, they dug in, and fluffed the displaced large cotton-candy chunks of white cloud back over themselves. They were quickly concealed. They kept watching the griffin in the distance, as it slowly rode a thermal, lazily circling upward into the sky. "Looks like we got a winner." Rainbow Dash whispered. "Bait?" Alabaster asked, eyes locked on the distant creature. "I dunno. But when do we ever see just one griffin by itself?" Dash asked in response. "Yeah. Figures." Alabaster said. "Guess that's it for this being an easy up-down-and-done patrol..." "Well hey, who wants a boring day anyway?" Rainbow Dash replied. "I'd kinda like one once in a while, sometimes." Alabaster answered the rhetorical question. Dash didn't reply back. She and Alabaster both opened up one of their gearpouches, and each pulled out a particular piece of equipment - a length of steel chain, about as long as a pony, with a square steel weight at one end and a loop of cords, the right size for biting down on in a pony's teeth to control it, on the other. They were tangleweights - weapons designed to ensnare a flying creature, wrapping around wings and limbs to immobilize and eliminate flight control, sending them spiraling to the ground. They each wrapped the chains around one bent forelimb, grabbing the cord-looped end in their teeth, ready for employment by simply extending their leg and letting the coils of chain fly off and straighten out... Ready to hurl into the sky to intercept a foe to deadly effect. "You ready to outrun an angry mob of griffins if this *is* bait?" Rainbow Dash asked. Alabaster grinned, with a certain spark in her light blue eyes visible from under the goggles. "Always, Rainbow. Always. Let's go check it out and get this done with..." "... Is everything alright, dear?" Rarity's voice intruded into Rainbow Dash's mind, along with a sudden awareness that the white unicorn was sidling into the seat next to her. The interruption broke the reverie. The train... The reality of the train flooded back into Dash's awareness. She was on the train to Jennetstown, sitting in a seat toward the rear of the car they were riding in. For most of the time since the train's departure at 7pm sharp, she'd been quiet and reserved, keeping uncharacteristically to herself and staring out the window at the land outside that rushed by in the little bit of remaining daylight. And now Rarity was sitting next to her, nosing into things. Out of nowhere a part of Rainbow Dash's mind flared suddenly with a hot impulsive anger, surprising her. Alright?! No! Everything's not alright! Why are you here? Dash wanted to yell. You, always being all girly fru-fru, with your dresses and that stupid looking sunhat you like to wear and your perfectly sculpted... or... coifed... or... whatever-you-call-what-you-do-with-your-hair! You don't know what Jennetstown is... Don't you understand how much you don't belong there? How much I wish you weren't following me there? You don't understand how hard this is already gonna be. You don't understand anything! Why can't you just stay out of it?! All of you! All of this ran through her brain in an instant, begging to be screamed out. But Rainbow Dash fought it down, carefully holding her tongue. She just shook her head a little. Lashing out was the last thing she really wanted. Rarity, and all the others, were just trying to help, the only way they knew how. It was only natural for them to be concerned. No doubt Twilight Sparkle had informed them that there was something more to this trip than simply bailing a friend out of jail - Rainbow Dash hadn't exactly hidden a larger sense of apprehension - but Twilight didn't know the details herself, so she couldn't have told them what, and Rainbow Dash just wasn't comfortable with revealing any specifics. Her late arrival to the library with just enough time for the group to run and catch the train had, in fact, been timed to avoid getting asked too many questions that she already knew she'd only evade. She felt bad about it... But she also didn't know what else to do. Parts of her just weren't cooperating. "It's... Nothing, Rarity. I'm just... You know, kinda stressed out." Rainbow Dash said. "Oh, I understand!" Rarity said. "Why, just the other day, working in my studio, I was completely at my wit's end with how... Oh, eh... But..." She thought for a second. "You wouldn't really... Want to hear about that, would you? ... No... It does seem sort of trivial..." She shook her head. "... But at any rate..." She continued after a pause, "What I mean is, I know you're a little nervous about this trip, Rainbow... Twilight said it might be... Hard... For you... But I'm sure things will be just fine. We're all here for you, darling." She reached up and put one foreleg around Rainbow Dash's shoulder, comfortingly. "Please just let us know if you need anything, yes?" The gesture was brief, but Rainbow Dash found herself moved. Rarity had a well-defined concept of her own personal space and a fastidious manner, and accordingly, physical contact with other ponies was... Ironically true to her name... A rarity for her. The sensation of her touch pierced some sort of barrier and made Rainbow Dash really feel it down inside, warm in her heart - she understood that Rarity truly cared about her and the difficult situation she was heading into. Just as fast as she'd gotten angry, Rainbow Dash's feelings swung 180 degrees, and suddenly, she found that she welcomed Rarity's presence, and that of all the rest of the ponies. She felt guilty about being so angry while her friend was only trying to show her some sympathy and bring her some comfort. She also realized that she'd been so preoccupied and nervous that she hadn't thought about any of them... She hadn't even said a word of thanks. Guilt crept through her about that. Springing up inside her there was suddenly an urge to show her appreciation, return that warmth. "Hey... Guys..." Rainbow Dash began haltingly, looking away from the window and towards all her friends. "I... Uhhh..." "What is it, dear?" Rarity prompted her, after her words seemed stuck. "Oh, it's..." Rainbow Dash shook her head. "I just wanted to say thanks for coming with me. That's all." "Woooo! No problem at all, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed loudly, from a couple seats over. "I get to ride the train, and see a new town, and..." The glares of all the others silently informed Pinkie Pie that her response may have been inappropriately enthusiastic for the situation. She noticed, and her smile faded away as she seemed to deflate a little. "What?" She looked around. "Nopony else is excited?" "Sorry, Pinkie..." Rainbow Dash shook her head. "I know you like to try to make everything fun, but... I'm... Just not feelin' it. It's not gonna be that kind of trip." "Oh... Well... Alright, then..." Pinkie Pie seemed rather nonplussed. Silence mostly reigned once more again, after that. Rainbow Dash fell back into staring out the window, watching the landscape, the trees, the rocks, farms, empty wild fields, all rushing past. It reminded her of flying, and she wished she was up in the air, feeling the wind in her wings instead of sitting on this train carrying her to... To... She wasn't even completely sure what to, anymore, she pondered, staring into the very end of the sunset, watching the last hints of the faint deep rose-red glow on the horizon fade away and yield to Luna's inky blue-black night sky and the soft silver glow of a crescent moon. Eventually, with the ascension of the night completed, the ponies gradually fell asleep one by one in the dark train car, getting some rest before the coming day in a strange town. For a long time, Rainbow Dash was the last one still awake, feeling anxious and helpless. The train sped on, an impersonal machine caring nothing for that sky, mindlessly carrying her inexorably to a destination that parts of her didn't know if she even truly wanted to arrive at at all, and there was nothing she could do. The six ponies were woken up in the morning, early, around sunrise, by the conductor walking through the car and announcing in a loud voice that they would be arriving at their final destination shortly, and asking for all passengers to please gather their luggage and get ready to exit at the Jennetstown station. The ponies did so, most of them (except for Applejack, accustomed to being up early) blurry-eyed and a little sluggish at first, before they came around and shook it off. The morning's first order of business, after exiting the train, was to find the police station. Fortunately, the train station had a stand with maps of the town available. Twilight Sparkle magically grabbed one, levitating it in front of herself and the other ponies. After a quick stop to buy breakfast at a stand selling donuts and assorted pastries, they easily planned their route and started out. As they walked through Jennetstown, they found that it was different than what they were used to. The buildings were more drab, painted mostly in earth tones or subdued pale hues, not bright candy colors. The road was dirt and gravel, packed hard by many years of being walked on, much like the roads of Ponyville, and also like Ponyville, the grass in the yards was lush and green, but in contrast, there were very few flowers. In Ponyville, most houses and buildings had small flowerbeds planted along the margins of walkways or underneath windows, adding additional splashes of color. Here in Jennetstown, it was uncommon. Instead, there were more shade trees, rows of them lining many of the streets to provide shelter from the hot summer sun and help break the cold winds in winter. The overall effect of the town, compared to Ponyville, was of a place that was more serious and somber, less time for frivolity or making things pretty simply for appearances' sake. The ponies they passed in the streets reflected the same general outlook. Few of them had smiles or time to even say a "good morning" in passing. Most simply had a neutral expression, walking quickly and paying no real attention to the group of six friends as they passed by, looking like they had other things to be doing and just wanting to be left alone to get where they were going. The mood of the town affected the group and their journey to the police station was a quiet one. But the walk wasn't long or difficult, and before long they found themselves standing in front of their goal. The Jennetstown police station was a very old stone building, a single story in height but built to present a distinct sense of grandeur and stateliness. The stone blocks it was made from were large and gave the building a feeling of fortification, like a castle. The windows looking into the offices inside were narrow but tall, showing off the thickness of the walls. A short set of stone steps led up to the front entrance, comprised of large wooden double doors. Above the doors was a carved stone shield, surrounded by a wreath and underscored by a motto ("Protect and Serve"). Twilight Sparkle took the lead and ascended the stairs, with the others following close behind. She pushed the doors open and slowly walked in. A little inside and to the right, there was a front desk with an earth pony officer, white coated and brown maned, wearing a blue uniform with a silver shield shaped badge on it matching the carving over the station's doors. He seemed a little surprised to see the group of six ponies entering. "Good morning." He said, setting aside some paperwork he'd been flipping through as Twilight and Rainbow Dash approached the desk side by side. "May I help you?" "I sure hope so." Rainbow Dash said. "We're here looking for someone you're holding in the jail." "Who would that be?" The officer asked. "Her name's Gilda." Rainbow Dash said. "She's kinda hard to miss. She's..." "The griffin?" He asked, with just the slightest hint of surprise, interrupting Dash. "Well... Huh. Didn't think anyone would show up for her. What do you fillies want with a griffin?" "Here to get her out, actually." Rainbow Dash said. Twilight Sparkle and the others nodded in simultaneous agreement. The officer's eyes briefly opened wide, in surprise, before narrowing as if he was unsure of what to think about what he'd heard. "Hmm. That's sort of a horse of a different color." He said, frowning just a little bit. "Gimme a second. You're gonna need to talk to the captain about this." He stepped away from the front desk, turning toward an office door a little way behind him. He knocked on it, tapping it twice with a forehoof. A few seconds later it opened, revealing another police pony, a female pegasus. She was a moderately dark greyish-blue color and a lighter blue mane. She wasn't wearing a uniform, but did have a silver badge on a loop around her neck. It was like the desk officer's, but with a small star on top. The desk officer said something quietly to her. The six of them couldn't quite hear it. She frowned and narrowed her eyes, much like he had at first. "The griffin?" She asked, in a louder voice that carried over to them. "You kidding me?" "Nope. That's what they said." He said, glancing back over shoulder at them and briefly pointing with a forehoof. She disappeared back into her office for a second, then came out carrying a file folder and walked to the front desk where the six ponies were waiting quietly. There was a momentary silence. The six of them faced the two police officers, slightly awkwardly, no pony saying anything. "You're here for the griffin?" The captain finally asked, looking over the group. "Yep." Rainbow Dash stepped forward. "I am." "So who are they?" The captain asked, looking at the other five ponies. "Friends." Rainbow Dash said simply. "Lotta friends for bailing somepony - err, griffin - outta jail." The captain remarked in an off-hoof way, flipping open the file folder and looking at the papers inside. "Yeah." Rainbow Dash mumbled. "Guess you could say that." "What's your name?" The captain asked. "Rainbow Dash." Dash replied. "Alright, Rainbow Dash." The captain said. She consulted her file briefly, checking something. "You the one who wants the griffin released into your custody?" "Yes." Rainbow Dash said. "Right. Come with me. We're gonna need to talk." The captain grabbed the file once again, and motioned for Rainbow Dash to follow her into her office. The two of them stepped inside, leaving the others waiting outside, still at the front desk. The captain closed the door behind them. The office was spacious, a large square room painted in white, with a window on the far wall. There was a large workdesk, cluttered with pens, pencils, a few random papers and forms, scattered and various knicknacks. Rainbow Dash stood in front of it, and the captain walked around to the other side. She tossed down the file, which landed in the middle of the desk with a small thud. The two of them stood looking at each other momentarily. "So." The captain began. "You know this... Gilda, is it?" "Yeah. We're old friends." Rainbow Dash said. "Right. Right." The captain nodded. "So how'd you find out that she's here?" "She wrote me a letter." Rainbow Dash said. She opened the flap on one of her bags and pulled out a sheet of paper. "I've got it right here. She explained where she was and why." Rainbow Dash set it down on the desk. The captain read it, briefly. "Alright. Well, Rainbow Dash, we've heard your name. Gilda gave it to us. We didn't know whether or not to actually expect you to ever show up, though, frankly. We didn't know if you were real or just some line she was trying to feed us to get out of here." The captain said. "Nope. Real as it gets. Here I am." Rainbow Dash said. "I can see that." The captain said. "I understand that you're here to vouch for her. She said you'd be able to, if you showed up. So... Let's get right down to the problem we're looking at: We picked her up trying to come through the mountain passes near the border. It's not legal for noncitizen griffins to cross into Equestria from the Northern Kingdom. Not after the war. If she's a citizen, then she's got the right to be here, but we haven't been able to confirm that. She claims it but she has no ID, no documentation, no proof. No nothing. We need something. If you can help us out with that, we can resolve this and get her off our hooves. I'm sure that's what everyone wants here." "Well, I brought what I could find..." Rainbow Dash began. "Unfortunately, I don't have copies of Gilda's army papers or anything. I just have my own. But I did bring all the photos I had of us together." She dug through her bags and began pulling out the mentioned items, first, her own Equestrian Army enlistment and discharge papers, then numerous photographs of her with Gilda - as young children, then a little older at Junior Speedster's graduation day, with Gilda giving her goofy rabbit-ears, and a scattering of other occasions over time. "I've known her since I was a little kid. We grew up in Cloudsdale. I knew her parents. They were definitely Equestrian citizens, which makes her one too. I can tell you their names and their address. I know that none of this might be the direct proof you're looking for, but honest to Celestia, I tried as hard as I could. It's all I've got. I guess all I can ask you to do is believe me... And her." The captain stood at her desk, looking over Rainbow Dash's papers, reading her service record off of her discharge forms. "Advanced Flight Combat school. Aerial warfare qualified... Awarded the Sunmark. Nice. Stationed at the camp here outside Jennetstown." The captain nodded to herself, then looked up at Rainbow Dash, locking eyes with her. "You got it on your shoulder?" She asked. The question floored Rainbow Dash at first. She was speechless for a second before she managed to get out the answer. "Heck yeah... 'Course I do!" She said proudly, grinning. "I remember when I got mine done..." The captain shook her head, smiling back a little bit. "Had to get loaded with some of the rest of my class to go through with it, but I did it." "Yeah." Rainbow Dash nodded. "Only hurts for a little while... But it's bad while it lasts." "Wouldn't do it again, that's for sure!" The captain laughed. "So what'd you get?" "See for yourself." Rainbow Dash reached up with her right foreleg and pushed up the hairs of her blue coat over her left shoulder. The captain studied something underneath them, before the coat's hairs fell back down and Rainbow Dash smoothed them out, covering up her skin again. "Not bad." The captain nodded. "I always kinda wished I could get something cool like all the enlisted fliers. All I got were the plain old officer's wings. Not very exciting, right?" "You were an officer?" Rainbow Dash asked. "For six years." The captain nodded. "Probably woulda stayed in longer, but Jennetstown was hiring police at the time, and I was kinda sick of the whole always moving around thing and I like this area... So I took my chances here. Worked out alright so far. But sometimes I guess I still miss it." "Yeah, well..." Rainbow Dash looked at the floor. "There's some things I miss, but there's more than enough that I don't miss. At all." "I know what you mean." The captain said. "Alright... Well, to get to the point, Dash, I feel like I can trust you. I want to, at least. And this griffin, Gilda, says she was an officer in the army. I want to trust her, too, because if there's one thing I never want to have to do, it's distrust a fellow officer. I've talked to her and she knows things that I don't think someone who hasn't been in the Equestrian service would. I'm really wanting to extend the benefit of the doubt, 'cause keeping her locked up is, frankly, a lousy situation for everyone and I feel pretty bad about it. Just couldn't let her loose, though, without somepony showing me something on paper to make it plausable enough. Know what I mean?" The captain was quiet for a moment, studying Rainbow Dash's face. "So here's the deal, Dash..." She continued. "I want your word. I want you to look me in the eye, and I want you to say what one Advanced Combat Flier would say to another and tell me that everything is true and that Gilda deserves to be let go. Can you do that?" Rainbow Dash immediately walked from in front of the desk, around the side, to stand directly facing the captain, mere inches separating their eyes. "The day I can't fly is the day I die." Rainbow Dash said. "And I swear to you on that, it's all true, ma'am." The captain stared at Dash's face, her eyes, for a short time, then finally nodded somberly. "Alright. That's all I need to hear. Let's get the paperwork filled out and she's yours to deal with. I really hope I don't get in trouble for this. Don't let me down, Dash. One Flier to another. Remember." "Thanks, captain." Rainbow Dash said, relieved. "One more condition, though." The captain said, after a thoughtful pause. "What is it?" Rainbow Dash asked. She looked up from collecting her papers and photographs back off the desk and putting them back into her bags. "Look, don't take this the wrong way - I have nothing against griffins, per se - but I'll be honest, I want her out of my town. That's for her own good. Ponies around here... They're not gonna be so nice to her, you know?" The captain said. "And they're gonna get her and themselves in trouble if you give 'em too much of a chance, the way feelings run around here after the war. Tomorrow night. Next train out leaving for Ponyville. That's where you came from so I assume that's where you're going back to, right? I want you, your friends, and her on it. Understand me, Dash?" "I wouldn't worry about that." Rainbow Dash said. "Already got round-trip tickets. No offense, but I don't wanna be in this town any longer than I have to. I've seen enough of it for a whole lotta lifetimes." "Good." The captain nodded. "That's good." A half hour and a stack of paperwork later, Rainbow Dash was led back to the holding area and taken to a cell, brick walls on three sides and enclosed by thick, wrought-iron bars with black patina on the fourth, with an extremely bored looking griffin inside laying on a cot in the corner staring up at the ceiling. Rainbow Dash recognized her instantly. Her heart sped up a little at the sight of her old friend, at laying eyes at last on the reason for the trip to this town. "Heya, G." Rainbow Dash said through the bars. Gilda's eyes went wide and she jumped up, practically flying off the cot in her scramble. "Dash! you're here!" She exclaimed. "Aww man, thank Celestia..." "Pfft." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "You act like you didn't expect me to show up or something. All the times I've told you I'm not gonna leave you hangin', and you still don't believe me? I'm getting you outta here, Gilda. Already worked it all out. You're free." She grinned widely. "Seriously?" Gilda smiled back. Her eyes lit up. "Yeah, G. Seriously." Rainbow Dash said. "Shoulda known." Gilda said. "Thanks, Dash. I got your letter but I didn't think you'd be this fast. You're still awesome." "I know." Rainbow Dash smirked and waved one forehoof, faux modestly. The officer accompanying Rainbow Dash unlocked Gilda's cell and she walked out. The three of them walked through the halls of the jail, back to the partitioning doors separating the jail section from the rest of the station. There was a check-out desk inside a walled-off booth where a clerk had a last sheet of paperwork waiting for Gilda. "Initial here and here, then sign on that thick line down at the bottom." The unicorn working the desk said, pushing the sheet of paper towards Gilda underneath the glass window of the booth. "With pleasure." Gilda said grimly, and grabbed the pen that was sitting on the ledge under the window. She scanned down the paper, marked down her initials, and scrawled off a signature on the mentioned bottom line. She shoved it back under the glass. "All good?" She asked, a little severely. The unicorn dispassionately examined the paper. "Thank you." He said in a neutral, unreadable voice. "You're all done." They exited the jail area. The officer who had been accompanying Rainbow Dash left them at that point, walking away to some other part of the station once he was satisfied that the jail's main doors were secured again. Rainbow Dash and Gilda went back towards the front desk, and as they came within sight of it, the other ponies, still waiting there, rose to their feet to join them. They converged into a group of seven, and wordlessly prepared to exit the police station. While they walked out, the earth pony desk officer glared a little at Gilda, in an uncomfortable way. She looked over back at the officer, with a scowl and burning eyes. She stopped her stride. Everypony froze. Tension hung thick for just a second, with Gilda looking like she was on the verge of saying something, like the impulse to snap out in anger was hot inside her. She didn't. She held it in, just snorted a little, and looked back ahead at the main doors and kept walking, following the ponies. She walked out of the station and didn't look back. Once they had all exited and the doors shut behind them, the group paused outside. On the steps of the police station, in the mid-morning's sunlight, Rainbow Dash and Gilda stood staring at one another. Having gotten over her initial excitement and taking the time to really observe her more calmly, Rainbow Dash was dismayed to more consciously realize just how rough of a sight Gilda was. She was thin and gaunt, worn looking. The feathers on her wings were in poor shape, ruffled and beaten, some with bent quills and broken nicks in their airfoil surfaces. A few scars here and there that Dash didn't recognize from the last time she'd seen Gilda ran across her back legs and torso. Her eyes were dark and slightly sunken. Scratches marred the normally smooth yellow surface of her bill in places and the upper mandible even had a small chip in its lower edge, towards the end where it hooked down. "You okay, G.?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Alright, I guess, considering." Gilda asnwered her non-committally. "Dude... What happened to you?" Rainbow Dash asked with concern. "Don't be mad, but... You look like..." She trailed off, unable to choose a word for some reason she wasn't sure of. "I dunno... I guess I've just seen better days, Dash." Gilda said, tiredly. She shrugged a little, helplessly. "You can say that again!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "They didn't do any of that to you in there, did they?" She nodded back towards the police station. "Huh?" Gilda looked surprised. "No way, dude. They didn't put a hoof on me. Actually, wanna know the funny part of this? I've been eating better there in jail than I have been for a long time up north. It's just... It's not easy up there, these days, Dash. I guess it's just sort of worn on me a little." "They beat you up like this in the griffin kingdom?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Not really beat me up, this is just how life is. And hey..." Gilda smirked a little. "You're a little scratched up yourself. Remember?" She pointed at Rainbow Dash's side - there were old faint scars still running down it in parallel, the just barely-visible lingering marks of war still left there from a harsh claw-raking years ago. It took her a little by surprise but made sense that Gilda would point them out. Rainbow Dash hadn't even thought about them, herself, in a very long time. Rainbow Dash wasn't amused, though. "No, Gilda, I'm serious." She said. "You don't look so hot. You sure you're alright? You need anything, just tell me." Gilda fell silent and looked at Rainbow Dash with a look of... Dash couldn't really tell what it was. Guilt? Embarassment? "I'm fine, Dash." Gilda said. "I mean... I'm a little run down right now, yeah. Things've been a little hard. But I'll be fine." "If you say so." Rainbow Dash shook her head. It wouldn't do any good to talk about it any further, so she decided let it drop. "Yeah." Gilda said. "I do say so." Same old Gilda tough-girl attitude, at least, Rainbow Dash thought. That was still a good sign, maybe. "Who are all these ponies, anyway?" Gilda asked. "These? These are my friends." Rainbow Dash answered. "They, uh... Well, they insisted on coming with, out to Jennetstown. Moral support and whatever." "Oh." Gilda said blankly. She looked around at the group, taking in each face... Especially Pinkie Pie. She showed a trepidation at recognizing the pink pony. "So... Hey, everypony. How's it going?" She asked. "Pretty well, actually." Twilight Sparkle answered first. "I'm finding this trip to be quite interesting." "I am also quite well." Rarity said, with a slight nod. "Eh, what they said. Got no complaints." Applejack shrugged. "I'm... Pretty good..." Fluttershy half-hid behind her pink locks and spoke softly. "I'm just doing awesome!" Pinkie Pie put on a big smile. "I've done a lot of work on my partying skills since the last time we met. I hope I'm way more cool and way less lame now." When Pinkie Pie said that, although she wasn't trying to be sarcastic or mean, Gilda definitely looked embarassed. She stared at the ground sheepishly and scratched the back of her neck. "Yeah, hey... Uh, about... That..." She said, shakily. "Look, I really wanna apologize to all of you for the way I acted the last time I think you met me. I don't know why I was bein' like that, but it wasn't right. I wasn't... I wasn't a very good griffin back then. And I don't know if it means much, but for what it's worth, I've changed since then. I'm sorry." Tension hung in the air between Gilda and the group of ponies for several seconds. "Aww, shoot." Applejack finally broke the silence. "Everypony makes mistakes and goes through rough spots. It's been a few years. How 'bout we just call it all water under the bridge and start all over?" She asked. Rainbow Dash was relieved and made a point of it to give Applejack a thank-you later for her magnanimous offer. Gilda smiled slightly and nodded. All the rest of the ponies smiled back. "Well, okay then. Put 'er there." Applejack said, raising her right foreleg and extending her hoof. Gilda took it with her own right hand and gave her a hoof-shake. When she returned her hand to the ground, Rainbow Dash suddenly noticed something funny about the claws of her right hand compared to her left - specifically, that there were different numbers. She looked closer. The left was missing one. It didn't look like it had simply broken off or been clipped very short - in fact, her whole pinkie finger was too short, ending in a stub. Dash was alarmed once it registered in her mind that the claw was gone because the end of Gilda's left pinkie had been cut off. "Hey. Gilda." Rainbow Dash said with concern. "Your left hand... What happened?" "Huh? Wha - Oh. Yeah. That." Gilda stared at it ponderingly, as if it was something she had almost forgotten completely about. "Had a little run-in, I guess." "With what?" Rainbow Dash demanded. "With another griffin who has a lousy temper." Gilda responded. "A 'lousy temper'? They. Cut. Off. Your. Finger." Rainbow Dash said slowly, emphatically. "Jeeze, Dash, quit freakin', would ya?" Gilda admonished her. "If that's not a good reason to 'freak out' a little..." Rainbow Dash started to argue. "Fights happen sometimes out there in the griffin kingdom." Gilda said. "Especially if you're like me when I went out there at first, not knowing how things were like anywhere but Equestria, running my mouth and not knowing my place yet." "Why were you out in the griffin kingdom?" Twilight Sparkle piped in curiously. Gilda gave her an odd stare. "... Err, if I may ask?" Twilight added sheepishly, cowering down a little. "Well... uh..." Gilda blanked. "Her name's Twilight Sparkle." Rainbow Dash whispered. "Well, Twilight Sparkle." Gilda began again. "I don't know how much you know about what happened to a lot of places in the griffin kingdom in the war. Without getting too into it, let's just say they were pretty much destroyed. Lots of villages, lots of griffin's homes. Totally wrecked. Lots of griffins had nowhere to go and nothing to eat. Still don't. It's a mess. I went north 'cause I wanted to help them." "Well, that's very noble of you." Twilight Sparkle said. "Not when you're part of the reason they were so screwed in the first place." Gilda mumbled. "Pardon?" Twilight looked confused. "Intelligence officer in the Equestrian army during the war." Gilda said. "I... Uh... Extracted information. The Equestrian Army payed pretty good because I can speak Griffin. My job was to interrogate prisoners and help figure out where we should attack next to help cut off the griffin army from their logistic support. Destroy the supplies, the army falls apart. That's the strategy they thought would work best. Because of the things I found out... Because of the things I told the officers higher up above me, that's how what villages were gonna have to burn got chosen. I pointed out on the maps for them who was gonna live and who was gonna die." "Oh. I see." Twilight said. "I'm not proud of it." Gilda said simply, then became quiet. After they'd walked a couple blocks through Jennetstown, it became uncomfortably clear that Gilda made the group stick out. Ponies that walked past gave them strange, wordless looks... Some of them hostile, though they didn't do anything about it. Yet. The police captain's warnings echoed in Rainbow Dash's head. "Hey... Guys, we should probably keep a low profile. Y'know, stay outta sight of the locals." She said. "Hmm. You might be right about that." Twilight agreed. "They don't seem to appreciate our new friend. Sorry to say it, Gilda." "Don't worry 'bout it." Gilda said. "Feeling's kinda mutual right now. Dash has a point. I'm probably better off out of sight and out of mind." "How're we supposed 'ta hide a full-grown griffin?" Applejack asked. An opening presented itself in a possible answer to that question, jumping to the fore of Rainbow Dash's mind. The needs of the group coincided with... Something she needed, for reasons of her own... A thing that compelled her, suddenly, forcefully. She needed to see... See it again... "We won't hide, exactly, we'll just go hang out for a while somewhere that the ponies aren't." She said. "With any luck, maybe they'll assume we all left for good and just be glad we're gone." "Oh? What do you have in mind?" Twilight asked. "We could go check out the area near my old base camp." Rainbow Dash said. "Or whatever's left of it, anyway. It's a pretty good long walk. Should keep us busy for a while." Even as she was suggesting it, Rainbow Dash felt a cold sensation of odd discomfort, but she hid it, stifling it down. She coughed quietly and shivered involuntarily for a fraction of a second, tremoring down her spine just slightly. None of the others seemed to notice. "You alright with that, G.?" Rainbow Dash asked quickly, deflecting any of the group's concerns onto another target before anypony else could think to ask the same of her. "Yeah, I'm cool." Gilda shrugged. "I could use a good walk outside after being in that cell. I hate it indoors, especially when I can't leave." "Well, what're we waitin' for?" Applejack said impatiently. "Let's get a move on, instead a' just standing around." "Right." Rainbow Dash nodded. "Follow me, everypony." She looked around the streets, orienting herself. Her memory of the town was vague, but it wouldn't be too difficult to find her way. Jennetstown was relatively modern, with streets laid out in gridlike fashion, not a mazelike tangle some old towns tended to have. Dash pointed herself north and started leading the group. After a few blocks along their way, there was a florist's stand along the streetside. The group was walking by, and would have passed it without notice like so many other vendors along the way, but something in it suddenly caught Rainbow Dash's eye. She stopped to look. They were roses. Not particularly spectacular ones, not big, not brilliant, just average, modest tea roses... But it was the color. The pale, just barely off-white was what caught Dash's eye. It held her fascinated for a few seconds. The half-dozen flowers were bundled up into a slender bouquet with a piece of light cream-colored silky ribbon, complementing them. Slowly, Rainbow Dash inhaled, drinking in the soft, sweet scent they were perfumed with. It was... Familiar... So familiar. Without saying anything, Rainbow Dash got some bits out and paid the marked price for them. The vendor, a pale pink earth pony, took the bits. "Ooh, good choice. Those are some of my favorites." She nodded approvingly. "Yeah..." Rainbow Dash nodded distractedly, dreamily. "Yeah. They're favorites, alright." She carefully put the bouquet gently into one of her saddlebags, then closed the flap, and rejoined the rest of the group. "What was that about?" Gilda asked, puzzled. "Nothin'." Rainbow Dash said, shaking her head. "Just in case." "Just in case what?" Gilda smirked. "You think you're gonna run into the mare of your dreams out here or something?" she teased. "Oh, original. A fillyfooler joke. Har har." Rainbow Dash said in a dry, sarcastic voice. "You're so funny, Gilda." "Awww, lighten up." Gilda scowled. "You are not the Rainbow Dash I remember. She had a sense of humor." "I'm sorry." Rainbow Dash smiled faintly, a little sadly. "I'm just... Stressing... I'm not done here yet and I'm not expecting what I find out here to be easy." "Well, I sorta hope not. I mean, the mare of your dreams shouldn't be easy. A one-night stand or something, sure, but the one of your dreams... That should probably take some effort, right?" Gilda elbowed Dash in the ribs. Rainbow Dash finally laughed. "Will you cut it out?" She returned Gilda's elbowing with a light body-check, knocking into her and sending the griffin staggering a half-step sideways. "Yeah! There's old Dash." Gilda grinned, recovering her stride. "Knew it was in there somewhere." The joke had run its course, though, after that, and they fell back into walking in silence. The group traveled on, following Rainbow Dash's lead. She still remembered the town and had an idea of where she was going. As they approached the edges of town, the roads funnelled down towards one of the only ones that kept going outside of the town's edges, the one Dash recognized as leading toward the destination she was trying to reach. The buildings, mostly small houses as they moved away from the town's center, grew less and less crowded, thinning out as the town diffused loosely into the surrounding wilder fields and forests. Eventually they passed a sign denoting the city limits and population. It seemed to be a rather arbitrary point, since there were still scattered cottages beyond it. Much like Ponyville, there was no really clear-cut border, just a slowly thinning sprawl. The path they were on kept winding onward for a long time, with no end in sight. They eventually finally reached an area that showed no signs of settlement by ponies... A complete wilderness. The land here was forested, for the most part, trees arching overhead covering the road in soft shade. Not having a clear path immediately overhead open to the sky wasn't something Rainbow Dash preferred, usually, but there was no other way with earthbound friends in tow. "So how you been, anyway?" Gilda asked Rainbow Dash, after they'd left town and been traveling on the road a while. "Oh, you know." Rainbow Dash replied. "Same old, same old. Busting clouds on the days they want sunny, draggin' in new clouds on the days they want rainy. Not too exciting, but it's work, right?" "What happened to the Wonderbolts thing?" Gilda asked. "You ever take your big shot?" "Nah." Rainbow Dash said, a little glumly. "Things are just... Not what they were. I just didn't work myself up to it, and I'm probably not in good enough practice anymore now. And anyway, after the war, they got a glut of former advanced Combat Fliers getting spots. The roster's full of 'em. Probably don't need yet another one." "Sorry, Dash." Gilda said. "It's alright." Dash replied. "It woulda meant leaving my friends and stuff behind, anyway." "We woulda gone to see ya whenever we could." Applejack said. "I know." Rainbow Dash said. "But it just wouldn't have been the same, right?" "I reckon not." Applejack admitted. "But I still wouldn'ta wanted to stop ya." "You didn't, A.J." Rainbow Dash said. "Nopony did. Only myself." The group walked in silence for a while longer. The forest continued, unbroken. Sunlight dappled through the overhead branches and leaves to create a leopard-spotted pattern of light and shadow on the ground, constant in its ever-changing details, always in gentle rhythmic motion with the wind in the foliage. It was calming, and most of the group seemed to be enjoying the walk. "What've you been up to, up north?" Rainbow Dash asked Gilda eventually. "Me. Heh... All kinds of stuff, Dash. Turns out, scraping up food takes a lot of your time when you can't really just go to the store and buy it." Gilda said. "Hey, like I said, if you need anything..." Rainbow Dash reminded her. "It's not for me, mostly." Gilda shook her head. "It's for the kids." "Huh? Kids?" Rainbow Dash looked at Gilda with surprise. "You...?" "Aww hell no, not mine." Gilda clarified. "The ones at the orphanage. I go out for a few days at a time, try to find what I can. I drop it off when I've got something worth dropping off. It's never enough, though. Never really can be. Kids... Eat a lot. Turns out." "You are not the Gilda I remember." Rainbow Dash remarked. "That Gilda was a jerkbag who didn't care about anything but herself." Gilda said, more severity in her voice now. "I don't like that Gilda anymore." Somewhat uncomfortable silence followed. > Part 3 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scent of Roses Part 3 "Well... Here we are." Rainbow Dash said, as the group came to the end of the now faint trail, emerging from the forest and into a more clear area. "Guess this is the end of the road, these days. It used to go a little further. Looks like it's been grown over from not being used, though, since the army's been gone." The ponies found themselves in a grassy field, sprawling out before them, slowly rising to a cleft that suddenly dropped vertically for maybe forty feet, beyond which the field continued again as far as the eye could see. It was covered in longer, wilder looking grass that grew taller below the cleft. Bordering the sides of the shorter grassed section of land the ponies were in, trees intermittently dotted, providing convenient shade alongside the wide open, sunny areas. It would have been a wonderful, almost picturesque, place for a picnic or an outdoor party, had the occasion not been so somber. "Out there." Rainbow Dash walked to the very edge of the cleft and stared at the field beyond. "It was all right out there." "What was out there?" Twilight Sparkle asked. "This is was the base camp I was assigned to. I flew over this field a million times." Rainbow Dash said, staring out at the long grass, rippling in waves in the sun and wind, deep verdant green tipped with shimmering amber gold. "Flying out on missions... Coming back in... I knew every inch of it. We all did. I patrolled over it, flying guard duty. I shovelled snow in winter. I cleared rocks from the walkways in summer. The grass was trampled down into bare dirt, it was so busy. There were so many soldiers camped out and coming through to the front lines. Catapults and giant war machines on wheels tore up the ground and left ruts. Now it's... It's all so different. Empty. Lonely. No more war... All the grass is back. The meadow is growing again. The way it should be, I guess. The way it should have always been..." Rainbow Dash continued walking along the top of the cleft, slowly, taking in the landscape. She slowed down hesitantly as she came to a particular spot, and her gaze left the distance and the surrounding land. It fixed onto a circular white rock about two feet wide laying firmly planted on the earth a few feet from the cleft's edge. None of the others had even noticed it at first, resting as if it had been there since time immemorial, half hidden by being ringed with a fringe of high-growing grass. After briefly stopping in her tracks, Rainbow Dash stepped lightly, reverently, and walked to the stone. She gently pawed down some of the grass with her front hooves, revealing it to the world. Most of the surface looked natural, like a rock straight out of the ground or a quarry, but this was contrasted by an inscription, carved in simple but dignified and elegant letters. In Memory Alabaster Storm Combat Flier, Soldier Of Equestria Farewell All the rest of the group walked up to the stone and read it. None of them said a word for a long time. Finally Twilight Sparkle spoke up in a quiet voice, barely more than a whisper. "Is that... Is she... Here?" "No. It's not a gravestone, just a memorial." Rainbow Dash said, shaking her head. "She was cremated and her ashes were sent home to her family. Pegasi soldiers don't get buried in the ground. We get burned. We rise in the smoke, back into the sky where a pegasus belongs. But we needed something to remember... So we put this stone here for her. There's others like it, too, scattered around... Mostly out there." She nodded out into the vast field beyond the cleft. "Ponies who didn't get to go home. Memorial markers like this for pegasi, and some real graves where earth ponies and unicorns are buried. This... This is the thing I was the most afraid of seeing again..." Rainbow Dash Sat down in front of the stone and stared quietly at it. "Guys... Gimme a minute here?" Rainbow Dash asked, voice slightly cracking, over her shoulder. "'Course." Applejack said, then nodded at the others. Wordlessly, all of them backed away a good distance and waited. Rainbow Dash turned to her bags and opened the one on her left. She pulled out the bundle of roses - white, alabaster white, the tiniest tinge of beige-grey - she'd bought earlier in town and dropped them on the stone. "Roses, I know those were your favorite. I remember how you used to hang bunches of them upside down drying out in the tent, to make it smell better 'cause that camp never smelled like anything but dust and mildew." Rainbow Dash said. She bent down and inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of the fresh flowers. "You're right. They smell pretty. They always did... You always did..." She stared at the flowers. "I still remember a lot of things like that, when we were here. Like the way you flew. I remember how you could sneak from cloud to cloud like some kinda ninja in the air. I was always a little faster but you were always more... Tactical. Trickier. Better at positioning for the advantage. I always... Envied that about you. I always wanted to be more like that, and I tried to learn, but you were always a step ahead. But you pushed me to keep up with your tricks just as much as I pushed you to try to keep up with my speed. You made me better. I never said that to you when you were alive, and I still can't believe I didn't. You made me better for having known you. I never said thanks. I wish I had." Rainbow Dash said. She stared at the stone for a few seconds. "I still think about it, you know." She continued. "I still think about everything... The missions we flew. And Advanced Combat Flight school... When we had to make the time metric on the flight course to graduate. You were so nervous because you thought you wouldn't be fast enough. We practiced all week until you were sure you'd nail the dive and get the speed. Run after run, diving as hard as we could. I still think about those things. I still dream about them at night. And sometimes, in my mind, I see those days like they were still happening... It's crystal clear. Even all the little things. All the conversations we had trying to pass time. All those trips into town to hit the bar and get a drink on an off-duty night. I remember every once in a while how you'd snore in the tent, and it drove me crazy even though it wasn't that loud, so I'd nudge you over onto your side to make you shut up. I don't know why I remember that so well, but I do." "But it's a mix, you know?" She paused. "Good memories, good things... And bad things. Like the times we got hurt. That griffin that came outta nowhere and got us both pretty good. That's how I learned that stitches itch like crazy. I still have the scars... I always will, they'll always be a souvenir. I remember when you thought you broke your ankle. Just sprained, lucky you. The way you landed, it shoulda broke. You limped everywhere for a week. You had me tape it up for you to keep it stiff. Then the tape took bunches of your coat with it when we peeled it off, and you got mad 'cause it hurt like crazy and I was a jerk and I laughed about it. I couldn't help it. And... And then the worst thing of all, you know I remember that... I still don't know exactly how they found us. I just remember being ambushed and knocked to the ground, both of us. We... We never saw it coming, did we? We never figured out how we got caught. It drove me crazy, not knowing. But I don't think about it much anymore because it's not important. Not as important as the effect it had, in the end... What happened while they had us... That's the worst memory of my whole life. Knowing what that did to you." Rainbow Dash was quiet for a long time, just staring at the stone, breathing at an even pace, slow, deliberated breaths. Her eyes watered while an expression of faint anger crossed her face. "It's not right." Rainbow Dash said, in a suddenly loud, stern voice. She stood up. "It wasn't right, what... What they did... No pony should have had to go through it. And you couldn't take it. It killed you. And I watched. I couldn't help. I couldn't save you. I watched... I had to watch, while they killed you, inside." Rainbow Dash was quiet and still for a moment. Her teeth were clenched tightly, her jaw muscle straining. "I hate it!" She suddenly screamed, causing the other ponies to startle in fright at the outburst. "I still hate this whole bucking place!" She walked to the nearest tree, a thick, ancient looking oak, and studied its trunk briefly. Then she turned around, looked back over her shoulder, aiming, and reared forward onto her front legs. She lifted her rear legs into the air and landed a vicious kick on the tree's trunk. A dull thump resounded from the impact of hooves on bark. After the blow landed, she jumped back up and kicked again, even harder, grunting. Unsatisfied, she kicked again, and again. She kept kicking over and over, with her face contorting more and more angrily as she went on. Savage wordless growls rose from her throat, breaking loose louder and louder with every harsher and harsher blow. Soon she was yelling out, at the top of her lungs, to punctuate every impact. Her eyes were filled with rage, hot and fiery. Chips of bark flaked off under her hooves and dropped to the grass. "What on earth is she doing?" Rarity asked frightfully. All the other ponies were silent. Most of them looked dismayed, and at a loss. Applejack, however, was staring at Rainbow Dash intently, with a growing scowl on her face. Finally, as the storm of wild kicking continued unabated, something inside her seemed to have had all it could stand. She reached up with a foreleg and swept her hat off, grabbed it with her teeth, and threw it to the ground forcefully with a toss of her head. Quickly, purposefully, she walked over to join Rainbow Dash near the oak tree. She turned her hindquarters to it, reared up, and gave it a hard kick of her own, like she was bucking apples back on the farm. Her face grew grimmer and more determined, and she bucked it again, then again. Yelling out now, like Rainbow Dash was, she kept kicking, as if she was bent on knocking the entire tree itself right out of the soil. The two of them continued like this for several minutes, raising a fierce racket of terrible thumps, yells, and screams. Eventually, Rainbow Dash started to tire. She was breathing heavily and sweating profusely. It looked like she was finally exhausting her legs, and like a mechanical toy winding down into motionlessness, she began to subside. Her kicks lost their power, slacking into ineffectualness. Applejack noticed and slowed down with her. The blows were weaker and weaker, fading, until finally, a minute later, she was done. One last weak, feeble but desperate kick with a single rear leg, tapping the trunk but not much more, and it was all over. Rainbow Dash and Applejack just stood motionless, for another half a minute or so. Applejack silently looked at Rainbow Dash, while Dash just stared at the ground with empty eyes, their blazing fury drained and extinguished, huffing to catch her breath. Rainbow Dash sniffed and swallowed heavily. She looked up at Applejack, and the two locked eyes for a moment. Dash's lip quivered and her eyes started watering. Tears welled up and swelled over, breaking onto her cheeks and running down her face. Applejack walked over to Rainbow Dash and without saying anything, embraced her with her forelegs. Rainbow Dash leaned on Applejack, burying her face in her friend's shoulder, and erupted into sobs. Applejack just held her friend and let her pour it out. Rainbow Dash's body shook with ragged breathing and she cried in loud, jagged wails of pain. Applejack and Rainbow Dash stood there alone, the other ponies standing at a distance observing the scene in a kind of saddened awe, none of them daring to make a sound. Rainbow Dash cried for a long time before she finally began to quiet to a low, softer weeping. "I'm guessin' it still doesn't feel any better." Applejack said at last. "No." Rainbow Dash shook her head bitterly. "I'm sorry. I s'pose... Sometimes ya just can't buck hard enough." Applejack said softly, caressing Rainbow Dash's head gently. "Can ya?" "I just want her back." Rainbow Dash wept. "I'm so angry... It still hurts so much..." "I know, Dash." Applejack comforted her. "I know." Applejack held Rainbow Dash for a while longer. The other ponies watched until Fluttershy stepped forward, uncertainly at first, and approached the two of them. With tears in her own eyes, she walked up and embraced Rainbow Dash from the side, resting her head on the ridge of Rainbow Dash's neck. A few seconds later, Twilight Sparkle did the same, and after her, Pinkie Pie followed, then Rarity. They encircled Rainbow Dash, every pony hugging her from a different direction. Even Gilda joined in. Nopony said a word for a long time. Nothing really could be said, they all sensed that. At last, Rainbow Dash took a couple of deep breaths, no longer crying. She sniffed a couple times, clearing the last of her tears, and sighed as she looked around. "Thanks, guys." She said. "No problem." Applejack said quietly. One by one, the other ponies, and Gilda, let go of their embraces, until they were all standing in a group once again, facing each other. Rainbow Dash started to glance back over her shoulder, but stopped herself, painfully, almost cringing, before her eyes could reach that white stone. She forced herself to look forward again, turning away from the stone, the cleft in the ground, the old encampment field beyond. She stared forward, at the path they'd come from, leading away from this place, back into town. "Can we just get out of here?" She asked, tiredly, a note of pleading caught in her voice. "Yes." Twilight Sparkle said, all the others in silent concurrence. "Yes, good idea, I think. Let's go." Without another word they all turned toward the path and left, heading for the way back to town. After returning to town, it was late in the day and the group consensus was that it was high time to seek shelter for the night, something they mostly hadn't thought much about in their haste to just get here and get Gilda out of jail. They set out searching, but had some trouble for a while finding any place that would lodge all seven of them... Let alone one that would board a griffin, most of them citing their inability to accommodate her species' "special requirements" (whatever that meant), despite the pony's arguments that she was just like any of them, more or less. The afternoon faded and the day was turning to night before they could finally harangue some accommodation from the manager of a less-than-conveniently located hotel near the edges of town - and that only after Twilight Sparkle was finally fed up and frustrated enough to flash a piece of royal correspondence and threaten to write to Celestia herself on the topic of investigating and rooting out discrimination within the Kingdom, starting with that very hotel. It worked, but even after that, what seemed like an abnormally large security deposit was requested. Too tired to press the point and argue any more, though, every pony just tossed in some extra bits to cover it. But, at last, all that overcome, they finally settled in to their room - a large suite big enough for them all. When they saw that, their attitudes turned a little. Even given the hotel manager's reluctance and lousy treatment, they were still lucky to have found this and not be forced to split up, they had to admit. The sticky point after getting inside was that the room had two, and only two, beds. They could probably have requested extra mattresses or cots, but they were sure they would get gouged for it, and nopony was really in the mood to give the hotel even more bits, not after the treatment so far. Some ponies were just going to endure camping out on the floor. When an argument inevitably broke out over it, Rainbow Dash insisted that Gilda should get one of the two beds, since she was the one who'd been stuck in an uncomfortable jail cell for days. Other than that avocation for her friend, however, Rainbow Dash had been very subdued ever since they'd returned to town. She spent most of her time staring at the ground, shuffling her hooves listlessly when she walked. Also strangely for her, she didn't even try to put in a claim to the other bed in the room, which, normally, her competitive nature would have driven her to make a grab for (Twilight Sparkle was eventually awarded it instead, by group concession that it was only fair, since she'd gotten them the room by having the brass to challenge the manager in addition to having put up the most bits out of her own pocket to cover the cost). Dash's depressed-seeming reticence was not unnoticed by her friends, especially a blonde earth pony keeping a careful eye on her since the events of that afternoon. Once the initial shuffle of moving into the room and unpacking saddlebags had died down and things had calmed, Applejack decided it was time to approach the issue. "Hey... Rainbow... Do you wanna talk about what happened out there today?" She asked. "I dunno." Rainbow Dash shook her head despondently. "C'mon." Applejack smiled at her. "It'd make ya feel better. Don't take a genius to see that it hurt somethin' terrible. Who was that, out there?" "Her name was Alabaster." Rainbow Dash said. "Alabaster Storm. Or Ally for short, sometimes, I guess." "Alright... So tell us about her." Applejack continued. Rainbow Dash just stared off at a picture hanging on the wall, a bland nondescript landscape, for a short time. "She was... My best friend... One of my only friends... While I was out here, during the war." She finally said. "We were really close." "And what happened to her?" Applejack asked. Rainbow Dash just glared at Applejack, hesitant, slightly upset. "Sorry..." Applejack apologized. "... Not ready?" "Maybe not. Don't know if I ever will be, completely. But... Jeeze... It's been five years. If I'm not as ready as I'm gonna get by now..." Rainbow Dash shook her head. "It's just hard, I guess. I've only ever talked about this once with one other pony in all that time." Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle glanced at each other, subtly, for just a fraction of a second. None of the others noticed. Rainbow Dash decided she wouldn't elaborate as long as none of them asked. It wasn't important right now. "Ya don't need to if ya don't wanna." Applejack said. "I understand." "No..." Rainbow Dash said, determination setting into her face. "No, I do need to, 'cause the truth is, this is it. This is my one good chance, back here in Jennetstown again. It's not easy but I know that I have to face it. I've known from the second I found out I had to come here. Might as well get it all off my back. I'm tired of wearing this saddle. The way she died... It..." Rainbow Dash hesitated and looked around. All the other ponies were watching her, waiting for her to speak. Rainbow Dash suddenly felt self-conscious, being the center of attention, and about to say what she was, but she steeled herself, determined to get it out. "She killed herself." Rainbow Dash spoke. "That's all there is to it, really. She committed suicide." She was worried that finally letting it out would make her get upset again, but it didn't. It was surprisingly easy - she was all cried out, she realized, too emotionally tired to get worked up now. All there was when she broke the long silence of those years was a sense of relief and release. It was a simple way to state things, no details, no circumstances explained, but even just to say that much felt like something finally accomplished that was long overdue, a wall finally torn down that gave her more room to breathe. She welcomed it. "Oh... I'm so sorry, Rainbow." Applejack said. She seemed uneasy and stared down at the floor. "Had no idea..." "It's alright, A.J." Rainbow Dash said. "It's been a long time. It doesn't sting so bad anymore." "Still aches, though." Applejack said. "Not too hard to see that." "Always will." Rainbow Dash nodded. "Always will..." The room was quiet for a few moments. Something in Applejack's face looked indecisive and contemplative, like she was deciding if, and how, to approach something she thought might be tricky. She opened her mouth to start to speak, a couple of times, but each time closed it again and rethought, cocking her head at slight angles, ponderingly. "Ya loved her, didn't ya?" She finally just asked, directly, but gently, in a soft voice. "I mean, I could be buckin' the wrong apple tree, there, but it just feels like..." Rainbow Dash's sighed, her turn to ponder an answer. "Yeah." She nodded, after a delay. "Yeah, I did. I guess I never... Never really said it, before... 'Cause maybe I didn't really think of it like that myself, at the time. But now that you ask... Yes. Not in the 'special somepony' kind of way, if that's what you're asking, but yes, I loved her. Like family. Like a sister, like twins, I guess. That's what she felt like to me." "I understand ya." Applejack nodded. "I got Applebloom and Big Mac, and... Yeah, I know the way you mean. With family, you don't always realize all the time how much you love 'em, you just... Do. There's nothin' I could love more than them." "Maybe. That's how you could say it... It's hard to explain, exactly..." Rainbow Dash thought for a minute. "I guess what is was mostly about was that... We shared things, Applejack. Things we went through together... I mean, I love you guys, too, with everything I've got, and we share a lot, but... But not always in the same ways. We're all different ponies, you know? There's just things we can't understand about each other in the same way that me and Alabaster did. We met in basic training. We went through that together 'cause we enlisted at the same time. That was just random chance, but that's how it started... And the rest is history. We went through our Combat Flight schools together. We trained and we qualified together. We went out to the front together, fought together, flew missions together. We watched each others backs, we took care of each other, we lived together, we worked together... Everything. We both went through that war. It's the kind of thing that most ponies can't understand 'cause they haven't been there and done it, but we did it together. We went through this living hell, and we were still really just kinda kids when we showed up, and in a lot of ways we grew up side by side, by doing that. After you've done that with somepony, you know them and they know you inside and out. And... And I can't explain how much it hurts to lose somepony that close to you. I just can't. There's no word I know for how it feels, Applejack... For how it feels to have to go through the rest of your life without somepony that feels like they're a part of you." "Guess you're right, Dash." Applejack nodded. "I lost my parents, and there's just no way I found yet to say what that really feels like. And I couldn't imagine losing my brother or sister. Not in a million years." "I couldn't either, before it happened." Rainbow Dash said. "When she died, a piece of me died. It burned up in the flames when she was cremated. Sometimes it feels like a big piece. There's nothing that can ever fill it in or replace it. You try to put it behind you, you keep living your life, and little by little you don't think about it so much anymore... You let go of the conscious sense of pain and you start to feel normal again. But it can never completely be the same as it was before... Something's gone that you'll never get back. And it's little things... Just knowing that we'll never lie down next to each other and preen each others wing feathers at the end of a rough day, when they were all ruffled up and out of shape, like we used to do. It's something so simple, but there was a lot of trust and connection, in it... Even just those little things. Especially those little things. When somepony like that is gone forever... There'll always be a hole in my heart. Always." There was a silence in the room. "Dashie, you big jerk!" Pinkie Pie suddenly burst out loudly. All the heads in the room suddenly swung over to her, in surprise. She was standing, glaring at Rainbow Dash with a mix of anger and pain shining in her eyes. Rainbow Dash looked confused by the outburst. "Pinkie... What...?" "Why didn't you ever tell us?" Pinkie Pie demanded. "I mean, jeeze Dashie, five years... Five years! I mean, we knew it was tough for you when you first came home but then we thought you got better. You were still hurting like this all this time and you never came to us, you just let us think you were doing alright? You never talked about it? You just kept it inside, all alone! Why? We're your friends!" "I... I don't know, Pinkie..." Rainbow Dash began hesitantly. "I'm sorry... I just didn't... I don't know... I didn't wanna put that weight on you guys..." Her voice was cracking. "We could have helped, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie said. "I mean, I know some stuff is secret 'cause it's embarrassing or it hurts or whatever but sometimes, when something's really serious... I mean, REALLY serious, like having your friend die... You can't carry everything alone all the time! You just can't! And I know maybe it wasn't something easy but we're not weak, Dashie. We all got chosen to be elements of harmony just like you did and there's a reason for it! All of us can take it. You shoulda just let us in." Tears were streaming down her face. "We could have helped..." She sat down on the floor in front of Rainbow Dash and hugged her tightly. "We could have helped..." She sobbed weakly. Rainbow Dash teared up, looking remorseful. "Oh, Pinkie..." She closed her eyes and returned the hug. "You scared me so much today." Pinkie Pie cried into Dash's shoulder. "I didn't mean to." Rainbow Dash spoke quietly into Pinkie Pie's ear. "I'm sorry. I never thought you were weak. I just didn't want any of you to have to see the bad things that happened out here. All the things that happened in the war, you know? They just hurt so much... I didn't want any of you to get hurt by them, too. I just wanted to protect you all. I'm sorry... I'm sorry." Another few moments of emotional embrace, and Pinkie Pie slowly let go of Rainbow Dash, composing herself, and stood back up in front her. She looked over at Rainbow Dash's right wing for a second, then, to Dash's surprise, grabbed it gently with her mouth and pulled it open. "Hey, whoa!" Dash protested. "Excuse you, Pinkie! Ever heard of personal -" "Hold still. You got some feathers out of place, silly filly." Pinkie Pie said, interrupting her. "Huh? No I..." Rainbow Dash began. She stopped herself. She stared at Pinkie Pie, and Pinkie Pie stared back at her, and all Rainbow Dash could see in her big blue eyes was a pleading sadness. "... Well... Yeah. Yeah, I guess I do." Rainbow Dash reevaluated, glancing back at her wing. She left it open in front of Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie muzzled Rainbow Dash's wing, trying to push the primary and secondary feathers around in a clumsy way. She ruffled them a little, but otherwise didn't accomplish a lot. She looked slightly confused and uncertain. "Most pegasi use their teeth as a comb to preen with." Rainbow Dash gently clued her in. "We start at the base of each feather, work outward... I try to just smooth it up and close any breaks in the surfaces." "Alright." Pinkie Pie nodded, gaining a look of determination. "I've watched you like a million times... I think I can get this..." Pinkie Pie worked on it for a while. She made Rainbow Dash wince a few times, pulling feathers a little too hard now and then. It was obvious that it was her first time, but Rainbow Dash forgave her. She knew it wasn't easy when you don't have your own wings to practice on, and besides, she couldn't help but feel unbelievably grateful for such a friend and moved that Pinkie Pie was trying her best. It was so sweet of her that Dash had no will to even try to stop it. The other ponies and Gilda watched the two of them for a couple minutes. "If ya don't mind me asking... Do you know why she did it?" Applejack asked, eventually breaking the silence. "Lot of different reasons, I guess." Rainbow Dash sighed. "Stress. Guilt. Shame. Pressure. Maybe the pressure most of all. I don't really know, but if I had to guess, I'd say that. It just... The way it just ate her away from the inside out, after it happened." "After what?" Applejack asked. "She was with me when I got caught by the griffins." Rainbow Dash said. "I told you all about that... But... I left that out. I didn't tell you that there was another pony with me at the same time. Alabaster got captured, too. She got the worst of it. They tortured her.. The stuff they did was horrible. I don't even wanna talk about it, it was so bad. They made me watch. Three days, Applejack. Three days we were there, before we got rescued. And by then, it was too late for her. She wasn't in that bad of a condition, physically, but in her mind, she was hurt so bad that she couldn't recover. She couldn't get over it. It kept hurting her. Her personality just totally changed. She was in a lot of pain... And she was so scared, every day. Every time we had to fly again. I tried to help but I couldn't. She needed the kind of help I didn't know how to give her, and she never got it. She kept it inside. She never talked to anypony about it. It was killing her but she just... Kept trying to deal with it on her own. And it didn't work. It broke her down. Eventually she just couldn't take the pain anymore. I guess she was trying to deal with it the only way she felt like she had left that she could resort to. I guess that's why she did it." "That's so sad..." Fluttershy said glumly. "Why didn't she just get the help she needed? I mean, it's there, ain't it?" Applejack asked. "Yeah. It's there, Applejack." Rainbow Dash said. "But it's not... I dunno how to explain it, exactly. It was just... Different for us. Especially at a time like that. It sounds easy to just say she shoulda gotten help but it's not easy to actually do at the time. It's not easy at all when it screws with your pride and your idea about what you're supposed to be. Being a Combat Flier, and a pegasus, and... I dunno, Applejack. I don't know what it's like for earth ponies or for unicorns. I wasn't raised on the ground with them. I was raised in Cloudsdale. Me and Alabaster both. We grew up hearing the stories about the old cloud empire. The old pegasus warriors. They're still admired up there. They're role models, they're heroes - at least that's what's implied. No pony just comes out and encourages being a soldier anymore and it's not really spoken in so many words that you need to try and be like them but it's understood that it'll make everypony proud of you if you do. There's still a warrior culture there, left over, and some of us still get into it. We still feel the pressure from it because we put in on ourselves - we decide it's what we want and we try to live up to these... These heroes... I guess we try to be them. We feel like it's our responsibility. We feel like we're the ones who carry the weight of Equestria's safety. We want to make it so that everypony can live a good life and not have to ever see a war themselves." Rainbow Dash thought for a second. "I remember when I was talking to my parents just before I joined. When I told them I was thinking about it, they were so scared. They kinda didn't want me to, and I could tell, but they didn't try to stop me. They let me choose for myself, and after the contract was signed and I was enlisted, they were so ridiculously proud of me. They were so happy for me because I was so excited to really get to be a hero myself. Instead of me looking up to them, I suddenly felt like they looked up to me. My mom got all emotional and spent like fifteen minutes hugging and kissing me when I told her the news. My dad even told me he wished he had my courage. They were... They were so proud... It was amazing. I knew that whatever I decided they'd always be proud of me, but after that, it was something even more. There was this huge admiration in their eyes, and they were proud of me in this kind of way I'd never even imagined. I didn't want to let them down on that. That felt like the worst thing that could ever happen." "That sounds like what happened with my brother." Twilight Sparkle said. "How everypony looked at him when he was leaving for duty in the guard. What you're saying is really hitting home for me, too. I'm sorry I never really gave it that much thought before now. I didn't consider there might be a downside to it." "What about yourself? When you left to be Celestia's student?" Rainbow Dash asked. "That was a bit different." Twilight said. "I was just a little filly. I still got to see my parents a lot of the time, and it wasn't like it was dangerous to be a student. But yes, you're right. I guess it's true there, too. I knew I was making my family proud. Even if they're not trying to put any pressure on you on purpose, just wanting to be something great in the eyes of the ponies you love makes its own pressure. That's definitely part of why I studied as much as I did for so long and so hard." "Exactly." Rainbow Dash nodded. "That's what got to Alabaster and some other ponies the most. I know, because her family was just as supporting and loved her just as much as my family did for me. She wanted to be perfect, for them, 'cause she loved them... 'Cause she wanted to protect them... She wanted to be able to go home a hero. At the very least, a good soldier who stuck it out to the end with honor. She couldn't stand the thought of being anything... Less. Throwing it in and admitting needing help - I think she felt like she couldn't do it because she thought it was her fault, somehow. Getting captured by those griffins, I mean, and all the fallout that came from it after. I think she felt like there was something wrong with her for this to happen, and the only way to prove herself and get back what she felt like she'd lost was to tough it out on her own. I know how she felt, because I did the same thing, out there after she died and when I first came home, and about some things even for a long time after that. She couldn't let herself face the shame of what she thought of as quitting. So she just tried to keep soldiering up and kept it inside. It hurt so much, but there comes a point where you're less afraid of the pain than of thinking you're letting down the ponies you care about. You're less afraid of dying than of that, because you know that everypony you love is depending on you to be strong. So you just keep your mouth shut and try to deal with it the best you can on your own. That's the price she - we - paid. She paid worse than me. It broke her. It cost her everything." "I've always been grateful that there's ponies that feel a sense a' duty." Applejack said. "'Cause I know we need 'em. But now that I hear it from you, I'm sorry for what it did to her. I get what you're sayin'. I suppose... I never thought about it that way. I admit it, I never really stopped to think about how what they do can hurt ponies in the service that way, inside. It's too easy sometimes t' forget that they're just like the rest of us. Guess it's hard to see sometimes under the armor and such." "Yeah. Somepony has to do it." Rainbow Dash nodded. "But that price is there to pay and I guess that's just part of the deal sometimes. It's just... I dunno... Shouldn't have had to be that way for her... Didn't need to be. Nopony would have thought any less. Nopony would have loved her any less. Didn't have to end like this..." She shook her head and trailed off. The silence in the room when she stopped talking hit Rainbow Dash. She realized that the attention of every pony (and griffin) in the room was all latched intently onto her, hanging on her words. Pinkie Pie was still laying on the floor by her side, half working on preening, half absorbed in what Dash was saying. Rainbow Dash was suddenly self-conscious, feeling like she was monopolizing the room, bringing everypony down with her going on about her dead friend. "I'm... Sorry to talk so much." She mumbled. "Naw, that's alright." Applejack smiled at her. "Shoot, let it out, this trip's about you, sugarcube. We're just here to help. Now I know why Twilight wanted us all to come. Believe me, I know it ain't easy, wantin' to look after everypony... Tryin' not to let anypony down... I had my own little problem with that, didn't I? Pinkie said it best - can't always carry everything alone. I know how important it is to just talk about it instead a' trying to cover it up with a front." "Yeah. You're right. Took me long enough to figure it out." Rainbow Dash said sardonically, with a slight laugh. "Guess you won that race, A.J." "Aww, it's alright. Yours is a little bit bigger of a deal than just not winnin' some rodeo." Applejack shook her head. "And, uh... I just wanna say, I'm proud of ya, Rainbow. I'm proud ta have a friend like you." "As am I." Rarity declared with a smiling nod. "Me too." Twilight Sparkle added. "And me, also." Fluttershy agreed softly. "You're the best friend I ever had, Dash." Gilda tossed in. "On top of being the baddest pegasus I know. I'm proud of knowing you." Pinkie Pie finally let Dash's wing go and stepped back a little to look at it. "Is it okay? Did I do alright?" She asked anxiously, biting her lip. "It's just fine, Pinkie." Rainbow Dash looked at her wing briefly, and turned to Pinkie Pie. She smiled warmly. "It's perfect. Thanks." "Aww, hey... That's what friends are for, Dashie." Pinkie Pie said, smiling widely. "And don't you forget it!" She gave Rainbow Dash a quick nuzzle on the cheek. "And I'm proud of you too." "I won't forget, Pinkie." Rainbow Dash said quietly. "Never again. I promise." "Pinkie promise?" Pinkie Pie prompted her. Rainbow Dash raised her right fore hoof. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." She recited. "... Although I don't think I should have to say the hope to fly part..." She grinned briefly and fluttered her wings just slightly for emphasis. Pinkie Pie smiled back at that, and Rainbow Dash was relieved to see her mood lighten a little. "Well..." Applejack yawned. "How 'bout we get some shuteye now? We still gotta spend another whole day in this town tomorrow before we can leave." "I'm all for that." Gilda piped up. "Gotta admit, it's been a heckuva day, Dash. Probably gonna be another long one tomorrow, too, with the train not leaving 'till pretty late." "Yeah." Rainbow Dash nodded. "I guess so." No pony had any protest against getting some sleep, by that point. The ponies all said goodnight, then went around and started turning off the lights, subduing the room into darkness and slumber. > Part 4 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scent of Roses Part 4 At dawn, when faint pale blue light started showing in the dark hotel room's windows, Rainbow Dash woke from fitful sleep. Vague dreams, only half-remembered, swam distantly through her mind, while she laid there awake but not moving. They weren't nightmares, not terribly bad - but not good either. She couldn't recall much but she still felt the general sense of anxiety and sadness they invoked. It clung to her mood. She sat up slowly, sore from sleeping on the carpeted floor. Her neck was stiff from the makeshift pillow of her saddlebags. There was a chill in her skin, permeating through to her muscles. Not really a surprise, considering that the blanket she'd been sharing with Fluttershy was now mostly covering the yellow pegasus, who had apparently turned at some point in her sleep and pulled it all over onto herself. Dash wasn't upset about that, though. Hard to really control moving in your sleep. Better that Fluttershy be comfortable, anyway, she thought. Besides, she knew she wasn't going to be getting back to sleep anytime soon. It wasn't like her to be the first awake - the solid crack of noon was normally closer to her taste than dawn was - but there was just something about the glow of light growing in the windows mixed with the dreams that haunted her in the night. She was too awake, too on edge. She did briefly ponder how Applejack and Rarity, laying with their backs towards each other, were successfully managing to equitably share a blanket, but just ended up shrugging. There were more important things to consider... Like what she was going to have to use this last day for. She'd thought about it long into last night, slept on it (such as she could), and woken up with it still there, at the forefront, still knowing it. Apprehension over it felt like it was twisting her gut, making her stomach upset. She closed her eyes and shook her hanging head. Her mane was a disorderly mess, like it always was right when she woke up. It would straighten itself out in the course of things, though. She could only hope that her other challenges today would prove likewise. She knew what she had to do... But how? How was anypony supposed to do this? "... Candy canes..." Pinkie mumbled, almost imperceptibly, as if in response to Dash's thoughts. She was smiling in her sleep, and rolled just a little under the blanket she somehow had to herself. "Sugar's your answer for everything, Pinky." Rainbow Dash whispered, extremely quietly to nopony, glancing with somewhat bloodshot eyes at the pink mare. "And it's not gonna help this time." Maybe that wasn't totally true. In spite of how she felt, Rainbow Dash was admittedly amused. Her mood couldn't help but lighten as comical visions of candy canes somehow rendering assistance in all of life's little problems filtered into her mind. Falling back onto that helped her make it through the quiet waiting until the next pony awoke. After a while, with the light in the windows still bluish and dim but slowly getting a little brighter by gradual shades, Applejack slowly opened her eyes and slowly yawned, then carefully pushed the blanket off of herself, trying not to disturb Rarity. She gingerly stood up and stretched. When she looked around and saw Rainbow Dash already awake, surprise momentarily flashed across her face. Rainbow Dash decided to mess with her a little, so she smirked at Applejack, an expression of smug pride in a challenge conquered. What? Thought I couldn't wake up as early as you? She conveyed, without words. She wasn't sure why she felt the need to do that. Partly it was old habit, that was just how the two of them interacted so much of the time. But she half consciously suspected, to herself, that the bigger part was more to keep up that appearance of still being the old Dash they knew, not let anypony else see insecurity and uncertainty. It wasn't really a good answer, but she wasn't sure how exactly to stop herself. Applejack just grinned back and shook her head, rolling her eyes. Sugarcube, y'all will turn anything into a contest, won't ya? Rainbow Dash could practically hear her saying. One by one, the rest of them woke at their own paces. There was no rush. The room grew brighter and the sun was fully up and shining by the time they were all awake and moving. Twilight Sparkle used the small coffee machine provided in the room to brew a pot of fresh coffee. She and Applejack each drank a cup, joined enthusiastically by Gilda, who said she hadn't had real coffee in a long time out in the Griffin kingdom, and, indeed, savored it slowly in small sips while it cooled. Rainbow Dash decided against any herself, with her stomach still not feeling particularly good. She was already edgy, anyway, it would just give her the shakes. Once the coffee was gone, Fluttershy used to machine to make plain hot water and brewed tea with it, which she and Rarity drank. Pinkie Pie also had some, though hers was so heavily infused with sweeteners it might have been hard to really taste any of the tea part of it anymore. After morning drinks were done with, the ponies and Gilda began cleaning up the room. The blankets and pillows were thrown back onto the two beds. The ponies' saddlebags were repacked and gotten ready for travel once again. Anything that was moved was carefully put back into position. One last careful visual sweep of the room, and they went to the front desk to check out. With nothing broken or damaged, they got their entire security deposit back (a point that Twilight took a particular pride in), and divided the bits back up among themselves. After they left the hotel, they were standing outside, in the front lawn, near the road, debating leisurely in the morning sun. Opinions were divided on how to pass their time until 7pm when the train would leave. Rainbow Dash listened to the others discussing their ideas for how to spend the day, getting anxious, not exactly sure of how she should throw an announcement about her own plans that she'd been silently harboring since she'd woken up that morning into the discussion. But she knew she couldn't let them go on too long without telling them. The others wouldn't like it, maybe, but it wasn't going to get any easier by waiting to spring it. Best to just bite the bullet and get it out of the way. She waited for a quiet lull in conversation. "Guys, I have to go back to the camp." She said simply, once her opening came. All the others in the group turned to look at her. "You what?" Applejack asked, as if she hadn't heard right. "I have to go back to the old camp again." Rainbow Dash repeated. "Now why in the tarnation would you do that?" Applejack asked, looking irritated, taking a step closer to Rainbow Dash. "Aintcha already done enough to yourself on this trip?" "Look, I don't expect you to understand." Rainbow Dash said back. "And I'm not gonna ask any of you to come with me, that's not what I'm saying. You guys stay here, do what you want. You should try and have some fun in town. But I have to go." "And who says I'm gonna let ya?" Applejack stared down Rainbow Dash. "Who says you can stop me?" Rainbow Dash shot back, meeting Applejack's stare. Applejack started closing in on Rainbow Dash. "I'll show ya who's gonna - " She began to threaten. Rainbow Dash spread her wings and crouched down slightly, springy on her legs, ready to launch into flight or take on a brawl. Gilda, watching what was happening, quickly stepped in next to Dash, also in a fighting posture, getting ready to back up her pegasus friend. Twilight Sparkle's eyes widened and her brow furrowed with anger. "Girls!" She burst in between Applejack and Rainbow Dash. "Hold it! This isn't the way to solve anything!" Her voice was loud and urgent with assumed authority, intervening to command control of the deteriorating situation. They all froze, Dash and Gilda on one side, Applejack on the other, and Twilight in the middle of them all, looking back and forth. "Come on!" Twilight admonished them. "As much as I know you two love bickering with each other, we're in a strange town and it's too early in the morning for this 'who's-the-alpha-mare' nonsense!" The silence was tense. The two sides stared at each other, each waiting to see if the other would move - each waiting to react in the blink of an eye. Twilight's point couldn't really be denied, Rainbow Dash had to admit, and she began to feel a strange sense of unsettlement. Reality check time... Things were out of hoof. What was she doing, she found herself wondering, about to come to blows with a good friend practically at the drop of a hat? Sudden regret came over her. Slowly, she relaxed her wings, letting them drop. and straightened her legs, standing upright. Applejack also relaxed, no longer set to advance. An unspoken truce was formed, visibly bringing relief to all involved as some of their tension melted away. Another few nervous seconds, and the stare-down finally broke. Applejack looked down at the ground and dug a forehoof at the dust, looking like she suddenly felt foolish. "Aww, dang it..." She mumbled. "I'm sorry, Dash... Guess I'm just gettin' scared, after what I saw yesterday. I just... Don't want ya to hurt yourself all over again, that's all... What kinda friend would I be if I let ya?" "I know, A.J." Rainbow Dash said. "And I appreciate you looking out for me. But I'm not trying to hurt myself more. I gotta do this so I can try to stop hurting." "Now that don't make any sense!" Applejack protested. "I said I don't expect you to understand." Rainbow Dash said. A coldness in her own voice surprised her... It worried her. "Then help me understand!" Applejack cried out with an edge of frustration starting in her voice. "Stop keepin' it inside and talk to me! We were doin' good last night, weren't we?" Quiet settled over the two of them for a few more seconds. A cutting smart remark flashed through Dash's mind, seemingly out of nowhere, involuntarily, but she stifled it as she fought her impulse to stay on the defensive. She knew Applejack was right. Last night's openness was something they all needed, and still did. She hated that she kept unconsciously trying to fall back on the tough fascade, like always. It was so dumb... It would be a blatant mask, and a harmful regression. They'd know she was keeping them out. This was only going to hurt everypony. No! No more of this! Time to drop the act and just tell the truth. She sensed that the future closeness of her friendships with all of them might depend on it... Right here... Right now. Especially with Applejack. After the way she'd reached out, after all she'd done, Rainbow Dash knew she owed her at least that much. She made herself look the orange and blonde pony in the eyes... Those pretty green eyes, looking back, trying to fathom her friend. There was a moment's pause. "I didn't finish yesterday." Rainbow Dash finally said softly. "Didn't finish what?" Applejack asked skeptically. "Kickin' trees?" The sarcasm bit a little, but Rainbow Dash shrugged it off. "No. What I've been waiting five years to finish... What I finally have a chance to finish now." She responded. "Look, I don't... I'm sorry, I don't really know how to explain why, I just know I gotta go try and do it... Something I gotta get over with for good. Either come with, or just let me go alone. But don't try to stop me. I have to. Please. Help me out here, Applejack." Rainbow Dash's eyes were no longer hostile or combative, as they had been before. They were asking for cooperation, instead. Applejack looked back into those eyes, and she couldn't seem to resist them. Her own face changed from frustration to full of concern. "Alright, Dash." She finally relented. "If that's the way it's gotta be... I'll go with ya. Fer the record, I still think this is a bad idea... But at least if I go with ya I can keep an eye on ya." "I think we'll all go with, if that's okay with Rainbow." Twilight Sparkle said. "Right, girls?" She looked around at the group. Quietly, every one of the rest of the ponies nodded yes. Rainbow also nodded her agreement. With that decision made, Twilight took initiative and led the way. They walked as a group to the road and started out. Most of the long walk was in silence. At the end of the long road, the ponies found themselves facing the same place they had the day before. The white roses were still resting there, on the side of the stone, where Rainbow Dash had left them yesterday. Just like yesterday, they were pristine, unspoiled, and still carried their sweet scent, gently and faintly wreathing their surroundings in it. As before, Rainbow Dash approached that white stone and stood by herself in front of it, the rest of the ponies waiting patiently at a distance. She stood there for a long time without doing anything, trying to just feel all the things roiling around inside of her... Trying to figure out how to do this. She knew where she wanted to go... But there was no exactly definable path. Knowing where it had to end was one thing, but trying to get there, trying to get all the important things in between, was evasive. Grasp one, the rest would slip away. By the time one part was concrete, other things she had solidified before danced away back into abstraction, still there but intangible. It frustrated her. She was doing something wrong. Maybe... Maybe she was just trying too hard to use the wrong tool. Planning wasn't really her strong suit, she knew. Maybe it wasn't her head she should be using for this. Maybe it was her heart. That was where this really dwelled, after all. Realizing that the conscious effort wasn't really going to get it any more right or perfect than going off the cuff, she finally had to simply trust, hope, that all of it... Or enough of the essential spirit of it... Would come out on its own as she went. So she stopped thinking and just started. "Hey Ally." She spoke. "Yeah, I'm back. I'm back because there's still more things to say... I, uhh... I've gotta get them out, while I'm still here, in Jennetstown. Hope you don't mind being pestered so much." She smiled, just slightly. "Well... What I have to say is that, ummm... It's about, you know, the way that this... You being gone... The effect it's had on me. The effect it's still having. It's still hard because I have to admit it... I keep holding on." She said nothing for a long time. "I just... Keep... Holding on." She finally continued, slowly, at barely a whisper. "And I've been trying to let go... Of everything that happened, back in the war... But this is the one thing I haven't... Yet..." Her lip shook, and she cleared her throat, swallowed heavily. "I've been holding on to you for all these years." Rainbow Dash said. "Holding on because... I'm sorry... I'm sorry for what happened... I know you didn't blame me but I'm still sorry. I know that's kinda dumb but I can't help it." She paused, staring thoughtfully at the stone. "It's the not knowing." She finally said. "All these years later, it hurts that I still don't really know if there was anything I could have done - if there was something I should have done differently, if I could have helped you more, if I could have just been there for you more. I keep wondering if I could have saved you somehow. Time is supposed to heal all wounds, but it doesn't always work that way. It's made some parts of what I've been through easier as I've worked at accepting it, and I've been mostly alright for a long time now, but there's one thing I couldn't get over... What happened to you. I was angry, and it hurt... It hurt so much. It still does. All this time I've always wanted you back, more than anything. I guess I always will, in a way, and that's normal for a good friend. But it's the thing I haven't been fair with myself about. I keep beating myself up about it, 'cause I guess... I felt like if I let go it'd be admitting defeat by letting myself lose something I just wasn't ready to give up. Partly I was scared that letting you go would mean letting you fade away into forgottenness, even though I know that's not true. Partly I also kept holding on because I'm still so afraid of it being my fault. I've felt so guilty for so long. I wanted to fight it so hard, to... I don't know... Somehow make it right, find some kind of justice, or something. Anything to make it complete, fill in these unanswered questions, reclaim some part of you on my own terms in my own mind. But I know the truth. I always have. I just didn't want to look at it and say it out loud. But I'm finally ready because I know it has to be said. I know that it's not gonna happen. I know that I'll never have those answers, and that I can't get you back. There's nothing I can do. You're gone, and I know it, and there's nothing anypony can do about that." Rainbow Dash said. She took a deep breath, and sighed. "I'm finally trying to let myself be ready now because when I think about it, I remember how you were, and I know that you wouldn't want this, the way I've been to myself. You wouldn't want me to keep hanging on to something pointless, hurting for no reason. That's never how you were. We watched each other's backs, 'cause we were the same like that. You wanted to protect me just as much as I wanted to protect you. It's just... You were there for me, every day, whenever I needed you, for those three years. So I felt like I owed it to you to hold on, to fight for you. I tried... 'Cause that's what I felt like I had to do. But I guess, like my friends tell me, I can't always be the one to carry everything all the time, no matter how much I want to do that... I know you'd want me to just say it and let it go, because if it was me, and you were the one still alive, I'd want that for you, too." "So..." Rainbow Dash choked on her words. "... This is... So hard... But I have to..." Rainbow Dash's jaw quivered and her throat felt tight. She struggled, finally forcing herself to speak. "Goodbye, Alabaster." The words brought a welling of tears out with them. They felt like pulling a barbed spine from her own flesh - relief at having it out, mixed with sharp new bursts of pain, another fresh trickle of blood, at every tug it took to extract it. The last few were undoubtedly some of the worst, the most agonizing. But it had to go. After years of letting it sit there, afraid to touch it for fear of that pain... Now or never. Time to give it those last couple quick pulls. Almost done. She bowed her head down, lowering it until her forehead was resting on the surface of the rounded memorial stone. As she cried, her tears fell, wetting the surface, leaving long streaks as they slowly rolled down. "I'll never forget you, I promise." She whispered. "And I love you..." "I always will..." "But it's time... To finally say..." Her head rested on the stone, still, perfectly still, eyes closed. A gentle breeze blew, barely waving the long blades of grass. "... Goodbye." There was not a move, not a sound, not even a sound of breath, from any of the ponies or the griffin watching. After a long moment of quiet, there was a sharp inhalation as Rainbow Dash breathed deep, her shoulders rising and chest expanding, then an exhalation, shoulders falling, chest deflating. She finally lifted her head, the wet trails of tears still down her cheeks, and looked off into the distance. It was done. She got up and slowly walked away from the stone, to join the other ponies once again. One by one, saying nothing, they hugged her, briefly, tears forming in each of their own eyes as they did so. Gilda hugged her last of all, a little longer than the others. "I'm sorry about her, Dash." She said softly in Rainbow Dash's ear as they embraced. Gently, she ran one hand through Rainbow Dash's mane in a comforting way. "I'm sorry." Rainbow Dash was slightly surprised, but grateful, at the warmth. For as gruff as the griffin could be, she had her moments sometimes... And it was a moment she could desparately use right now. After the round of hugs was over, the ponies and Gilda stood around for a little while, glancing at the stone briefly now and then. Somehow, it didn't feel like time to leave yet, but there wasn't much to say to each other. They all milled around uncertainly, until Applejack broke from the group and approached the white stone. She walked up to it slowly. As she stood in front of it, she reached up and took her hat off, pinning it against the front of her chest with a forelimb. She looked a little lost for words, at first, but found some after a moment's consideration. "Hey there... Miss Alabaster..." She began. "I know we never met and I ain't the best with words, but, uh... I thought that while I'm here, I oughta say... I appreciate everything ya done for us... All of us... And especially for Rainbow Dash. A good friend ain't easy to find, and it sounds like you were a good one to Rainbow, out here, where things were toughest. Wish ya were still with us. World could use more ponies like you. G'bye." She turned, and walked away back to the group, putting her hat back on. As Applejack returned, Twilight Sparkle began walking to the stone. "Hello." She said. "We never met either... And I guess we won't now, since it's too late, and I'm sorry about that... But I kinda feel like we have, in a way, because ever since Rainbow Dash first told me about you, I've felt like you're something pretty special. I know you meant a lot to her. I know what it's like when you're in a situation where you don't have a lot of - or any - friends. Even if what happened in the end had to hurt, I think you being out here with her before that might have made all the difference. I know that you helped her make it home to us. We owe you a lot for that. I don't know how to ever repay it, other than to just say, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I wish things had turned out better. I'm sorry. Goodbye, Alabaster Storm." Twilight walked away, and Rarity took her place. "I'm not sure just what to say." Rarity spoke sadly. "But I feel as if I should at least try to say something. I don't know anything about the dreadfulness of going to fight a war. But... What I do know is true is that me not knowing is thanks to brave ponies such as yourself who do. Ponies like you are heroes. You've made Equestria safe for a modest little dressmaker and her shop, at least. It may not be much but it means the world to me. Thank you for that. And thank you for being a friend to our Rainbow Dash. Goodbye." Rarity looked at the stone wistfully, for a few seconds, and walked away. Pinkie Pie came forward to take a turn. "Hi." She said, a little subdued from her usual effervescent self. "I just wanna say we woulda been friends, 'cause I can make friends with anypony. But one of my especially good best friends is Rainbow Dash. You knew her, too, so we were already like... Second cousin friends, or something. And friends look out for each other. I know that you looked out for Rainbow Dash, and she looked out for you. I'd like to get to do that too. I might not be able to do it in the same way, exactly, but I know that I can throw you a totally rockin' party someday. It's not the same as what you two had, but it's what I'm good at. It'll be great - no, better than great. Epic. Ponyville's party of the year. I Pinkie Pie Promise that. I'm just..." She sniffed down forming tears, working to keep herself together. "I'm just sorry you can't be there in person... Bye bye..." Pinkie Pie trotted away, hanging her head a little, eyes watering heavily. Fluttershy slowly, ponderingly, walked over. "Hello, um... Miss Storm..." She said haltingly. "Your story was very sad, and I'm so sorry about that. Rainbow Dash is my oldest friend. I've known her all my life. She's always protected me when other ponies were being bad to me or whenever I've needed help. I know that she'll always... Defend my honor... That's what she calls it... So I know how important having somepony like that is, when you're a pony like me who's not very strong and not very brave. From what Rainbow Dash tells us I think it sounds like you were like that... Like her. Thank you so much for protecting all the rest of us. I'm sorry you're gone... Goodbye..." A few tears were running down Fluttershy's cheeks as she turned and walked away. She reached up with one forehoof and wiped them away. Hesitantly, looking uncertain, Gilda walked up to the stone last. "Dude, I don't really know what to say." She muttered, after some head-shaking. "I'm not sure how I still feel myself about this whole war, so it ain't easy for me, you know? Bad things happened. I've spent five years trying to make up for the bad things I did. But I think you were only trying to do what you really thought was right. I couldn't ever hold that against you, not now. 'Sides... Griffins act all proud and we have rough manners and whatever sometimes, but... We respect a good fighter, or we're supposed to, anyway, whether it's a friend or an enemy. And if you fought next to Dash... Well... I guess you had to be pretty awesome." Gilda looked at the stone with a strange expression for a few seconds. She reached up and put her right hand on it, talons clacking very gently upon its hard surface, and spoke quietly, something none of the ponies could understand - a couple sentences in the Griffin language - and then was silent. "Well, Ally Storm... Goodbye." She finally concluded, taking her hand off the stone. Gilda walked away to rejoin the group of ponies. She left, and that white stone with its little bouquet of alabaster roses was alone again, silent again... At rest... At peace, there in the green grass under a blue sky. That was the sense of it that Rainbow Dash had in her mind, looking at it now, she discovered. Peaceful. Finally... Eternally peaceful. It felt strange, a little surprising, to see it that way. It felt... Settled... Empty, somehow... Like the distress and fear it had radiated were gone out of it. It felt like a book that had been left open to an anxiously unfinished last page for a long time was finally read to the final word and the cover closed, ready to go back to the shelf. She searched herself, and found that there was no sense of good or bad, no more commotion, only what felt like a vast, borderless calm... And relief. The spine was out. Maybe the hole it left behind wasn't all done, yet... Maybe it was still sore, still oozing blood, a little... But maybe now it could really heal on its own. "So... Everypony get it all said? We done here?" Applejack asked. She looked around at the rest of the ponies. "I am." Rainbow Dash answered her. "It's all out. I'm done." "Ya sure? I don't wanna rush ya. Sure you don't want any more time to think?" "Nah." Rainbow Dash shook her head. "Thinking about it... About her... I've done enough of that in the last five years. It's all been thought about so many times I'm sick of it. I'm ready to just be done for a while. I'm ready to let it rest now." "Ya don't know how glad I am to hear that, Rainbow." Applejack sounded relieved. "So what's everypony say we get a start on heading back?" Twilight Sparkle turned away from the group and walked towards the edge of the land, the sudden drop to the rest of the meadow beyond. "Actually, if it's alright, I'd kind of like to go get a look at the field down there." She stood at the cleft, looking down into the lower ground below. "I'd be interested to see if there's anything left of the old army camp." "Didn't Rainbow say yesterday there were more graves and such down there?" Applejack asked. "Yeah, I did." Rainbow Dash nodded. "And there are. It's not a pretty place, Twilight. You don't really wanna go down there." "It may not be the most pleasant place, but when am I ever going to be here again?" Twilight asked. "I can handle it... And I really think this is something I should look at for myself while I can." She turned back toward the ledge, looking out again on the field beyond, staring out at it while the tall grass gently rippled in the breeze, gold and green. After a few seconds, Rainbow Dash walked over to Twilight, and joined her, standing there side by side at the edge. "Well... If you're going, I'm going with you." She said. The rest of the ponies looked at her briefly with surprise, then glanced around at each other, with looks conveying worry. "No!" Applejack said firmly. "Not a chance, Rainbow! Ya been through enough for now!" "Yeah, well, she can't go alone!" Rainbow exclaimed. "We're in the middle of nowhere at the very edge of the Equestrian borders. It's not safe to just go wander around by yourself." "Then why were you sayin' you were gonna come out here alone this morning?" Applejack asked critically. "That's different!" Rainbow Dash said. "I'm familiar with the whole area. I've got the training and experience to protect myself. And in case you hadn't gotten the memo, I've got a set of wings I'm pretty freakin' fast on." "Well, then, fine. If it's so dangerous for us slow-poke ponies to go it alone, I'll go with her instead." Applejack volunteered. "So you can stay here, Speedy McGee." "And how do you plan on getting down that cleft, smartypony?" Rainbow Dash questioned her, looking at the sharp drop. It was much too far to just jump down unassisted without being injured, maybe even killed, by the fall. Applejack was silenced for a moment, pondering the deadly height, then snorted in frustration at being foiled. "Just what I thought." Rainbow Dash said, a touch smugly. "And trying to find a walking path down'll take forever. Couldn't even tell you where to start looking. Road's gone now. Sorry, but it's gonna have to be somepony who flies or goes poof with their horn." "Ugh..." Applejack was frustrated. "Fine! Fluttershy, then. She's got wings." "I... Guess I do..." Fluttershy said, weakly, looking around nervously. "Oh, that's a good one, Applejack." Rainbow Dash said sarcastically. "Yeah, let's send the weakest possible flier with the weakest possible voice. That'll be useful if something goes wrong!" "Hey...!" Fluttershy started, indignantly. "Now just a minute, you... You..." She faded off ineffectually. She tried to rebut, but appeared lost in the consideration that it was technically true - she was the weakest flier there, and she did have the weakest voice. "Rainbow! That was mean!" Twilight Sparkle looked angry by now at the argument unfolding. "Seriously, what is it with you two butting heads today? Now you're trampling poor Fluttershy in the process! This is really turning into a problem!" Both Applejack and Rainbow Dash turned to face Twilight Sparkle, with the same stubborn glare on their faces. "I'm trying to look out for my friend!" They both exclaimed, at exactly the same instant, an unrehearsed harmony of complete coincidence. A brief split second of shock overtook both their faces as they turned to look at each other in surprise, then for another split second, they stared at each other in dead silence. Rainbow Dash acted first. "Jinx!" She quickly blurted out, and briefly stuck out her tongue at Applejack with smug smile. Applejack responded in a low, growling voice. "Aww, take yer jinx an'..." "Enough!" Twilight Sparkle proclaimed in frustration. "Look, I can't ask anypony to go with me. I'm willing to assume the risk, I'll go by myself. I just have to see this. Just wait for me up here until I get back, okay? That's all. No more arguing." "Yeah... No, Twilight." Rainbow Dash shook her head. "I'm not letting you go alone. Sorry. It's just not safe." "Hey, look..." Gilda spoke up. "Maybe A.J.'s right, Dash. We all got our limits, you know? And you've been pushing yours just to come here. I know you, Dash... I know you wanna act tough but we both know this hasn't been easy for you. So I'll do it. I got wings and and a roar and you know I know how to use 'em. I'll go with Twilight down into the camp if it'll make you feel better to know someone's with her." "I know you're a good flier but you still don't know the area like I do, G." Rainbow Dash said. "And the worst part is over for me. Really, dude, I got this." A light of new determination was shining in Dash's eyes. Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus still had a hurt look on her face. "Fluttershy... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it... I was just getting caught up in the moment. I'm serious. I know you've got it in you to help all of us when it's important, 'cause you've done it before. I never shoulda said what I did." Dash said. Fluttershy didn't immediately reply, but she did hold her head up a little higher and shook her hair back, not hiding so much behind it anymore. "And Applejack..." She turned to her earth pony friend. "You trusted me to come this far. I did alright. I'm still okay, aren't I? Just trust me enough to believe it when I tell you I know that I'll be alright down there, too. Okay? Are we good?" Applejack snorted. "We're not good 'till I know you're outta the woods, Rainbow. But..." She sighed. "The truth is, I know I ain't really got much right to stop ya, and Twilight's right, we shouldn't be arguin' the way we are. Just make it quick, would ya?" "Alright." Rainbow Dash nodded. "You got it, A.J." "Ya hear that, Twilight?" Applejack addressed the purple pony. "Quick." "Yes, Applejack." Twilight sounded annoyed. "I hear you just fine." With that, Twilight turned and studied the ground at the bottom of the cleft, choosing a level spot. She closed her eyes and concentrated momentarily, her horn glowed with a brilliant purple aura and she disappeared with a *pop*, instantaneously reappearing down below. Rainbow Dash took off from the edge of the cleft and glided down to join Twilight. She landed, and the two of them started walking side by side through the tall wild grass, off towards where the any lingering remains of the old encampment might be found. "While I am glad for the company, and it was chivalrous of you, you know I don't need a foalsitter." Twilight Sparkle commented, eyes focused on the ground ahead of her as she walked slowly through the field, taking in the details left in the ground. She was walking alongside the ruts still imprinted into the dirt from the path that large siege machines, catapaults and trebuchets of incredible size, used to be pulled along. "I'm fully aware, Twi." Rainbow Dash replied. "I'm not here to foalsit. I'm here to watch your back." Twilight paused her stride and looked up at Rainbow Dash. "You really don't feel safe here, do you?" She asked with concern. "Applejack is right, you shouldn't be out here." "I know it's probably fine." Rainbow Dash said. "I know nothing should really happen. Place has been abandoned for years, why would anything or anyone be out here? But I still can't shake the feeling somehow. I don't know what's wrong..." She shook her head. "Just leftover stress, I guess. I'll get over it. I'm fine, Twi. And you really shouldn't be alone, just in case." "If you say so." Twilight's eyes lingered on Rainbow Dash, worried, before they went back to the ground, resuming her investigation. After a while, Twilight Sparkle drifted off the line of wheelruts and into other sections of the pathless field. Walking around through the thick grass, she and Rainbow Dash gradually came to an area in which the ground was studded intermittently with square-carved rocks poking up from the ground, hard to see sometimes because they were nearly invisible where the lush grasscover was thickest. Rainbow Dash tried not to look at them too closely. She already knew exactly what they were. Twilight Sparkle picked her way through them, briefly examining each one she passed close to. She had no visible reaction, though she was careful with her steps and tried respectfully not to step on or inadvertently kick any as she moved among them. She passed by one after another, giving each a quick glance and moving on, until one in particular seemed like it snagged her. She gave it the same glance as the rest, at first, but then stopped in the middle of her next stride and did a double take. She kept staring longer than usual at it. Her eyes scanned back and forth over it several times, as if there was some difficulty in comprehending what they were conveying. Twilight Sparkle's face fell. "I know this unicorn." She said flatly. "Hmm?" Rainbow Dash walked up and looked down at what Twilight was reading. It was small, a low slab in a rectangular shape, of brownish stone flecked and marbled in black. The top was flat. The text on it was carved with skilled precision, but very simple, straight to the point. Moondancer of Canterlot A cutie mark was carved below the name. "I... I know this unicorn." Twilight said again, a chilled note in her voice. "Are you sure?" Rainbow Dash asked. "... Could be a coincidence..." "No." Twilight Sparkle shook her head. "What are the odds of the same name and the same cutie mark, and coming from the same town? I knew her in Canterlot, when I lived there as Celestia's student. She was another student at the palace, under a different instructor. She... She invited me and the other students to parties sometimes. I don't even know how many of her invitations I just ignored. She always said she was going to get try to get a commission as an officer in the unicorn corps with the army. But I left before I ever heard what happened with that. I ignored her invitations. I wasn't really a friend. I never was back then. I ignored her... I studied so much that I just ignored her..." The look of pain on Twilight Sparkle's face made Rainbow Dash hurt inside. Her heart sank. This, she thought... This, right here. This is exactly what she was afraid of, for her friends. This is what she'd wanted more than anything to prevent... This kind of personal shock, personal affliction by the residue of the war. She couldn't have predicted what it would be, specifically, but what was happening now hit the nail of her fears on the head. It was her fault for letting this happen. She suddenly felt weak... And she felt ashamed... Because Twilight wouldn't be here right now, finding out this way, if it wasn't for her. She was supposed to be their shield, but she couldn't do it this time. She couldn't protect her friend. She wasn't strong enough, not here. Not here. Now do you finally understand why I wanted to come to Jennetstown alone? She thought sadly. Seen enough to get it yet, Twilight? She didn't say it out loud. An 'I told you so' was no comfort - more like a callous slap in the face - to somepony in distress... So she tried to choose her next words carefully. She hoped fervently that they would help. If she couldn't stop the blow, she had to at least try to soften the sting. "It's done and you can't change it, Twi." She said softly, brushing up gently against Twilight Sparkle, shoulder to shoulder. "But you're a different pony now, so let it go." Twilight didn't say anything, she just kept staring at the gravestone, reading it over and over again, studying every irregularity, every chip, every mark, every grain and crystal, anguished disbelief all over her expression. "Hey!" Rainbow Dash said, more forcefully. Twilight turned her head to look at Dash, and Dash was worried by the blankness in her eyes. "You hear me?" Twilight slowly nodded yes in acknowledgement. "C'mon, Twilight." Rainbow Dash nudged her, just a tiny bit. "Time to walk away." Twilight said nothing, but she followed Rainbow Dash's lead, turning aside from the gravestone and taking a few steps in the opposite direction. When they'd opened up some distance, Twilight Sparkle stopped and sat down. Her face had a haunted look on it. She stared down at her forehooves. Rainbow Dash turned and stood in front of her, and saw that she was shaking, just slightly, in the forelegs, the kind of shaking left in a pony in the aftermath of a powerful shock or fright. Her eyes were glazed, not really looking at anything in particular as they stared downward. She sat there for a while longer, not saying anything. "Seen enough?" Rainbow Dash asked, after she gave Twilight some time. "Yes. More than I wanted." Twilight nodded. "Wanna get going?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Yeah." Twilight smiled weakly at Rainbow Dash. "Yeah. Getting back to town would be nice. I... Uhh... I could use a drink." "Alright. C'mon, then." Rainbow Dash nodded back. Maybe that actually wasn't a half bad idea, she thought... Maybe she could use one herself, too... And she had something in mind almost immediately, coming up out of the depths of her past memories of here. "I think I know a place. We'll see if it's still open. Can't imagine it wouldn't be." > Part 5 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scent of Roses Part 5 An hour later, Rainbow Dash's hooves led her on, an old familiar innate memory of the walk guiding her through the Jennetstown streets. They led down a main road, until it branched off into a side street, turning left down it and going for a couple of blocks, until another smaller side street came up turning off to the right, between two rows of small buildings on either side crowding towards its edges. She proceeded down this strip for a little while, until a particular sign loomed above one doorway. It was a welcome sight, the same sign she remembered always being there - a wooden arch, painted metallic yellow with peeling and flaking paint long in need of a new coat, bearing the name of the establishment splaying across it in big black block letters. The Golden Horseshoe. "You're taking us to this dive bar?" Applejack looked skeptically at the place's exterior of faded, beaten wood siding. "Dive?" Rainbow Dash put a note of indignance in her voice. "I'll have you know this is among the finest of the drinking establishments frequented by the soldiers of the Equestrian Army during the war." "If y'all say so." Applejack shrugged. "And since when are you a connoisseur of upper-class... Uhh... Whatever the upper-class term for a bar is?" Rainbow Dash asked. She turned Rarity. "Help me out here." "Umm... Bistrot à Vin, perhaps?" The white unicorn offered. "Yeah, thanks, Rarity." Rainbow Dash nodded. "What she said." "I'm just kinda surprised, that's all." Applejack replied. "I didn't say there was anything wrong with the place, necessarily." "Darn right you won't be saying that once you'd tried one of their honeyciders." Rainbow Dash said. "Won't be calling it a dive, either, I'll bet." "Honey-cider?" Applejack half-closed one eye and looked quizzically at Dash. "Never heard a' that." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Oh, just come inside." She pushed open the door, holding it for her companions. "After all of you, everypony and griffin." The group filed in, one by one, and Rainbow Dash let the door go and stepped inside last. The place was in better shape on the inside than the somewhat rough exterior of the building would have suggested. The wood floor was swept clean and washed. The bar was well-polished, lacquered wood. It was clean and wiped-down, no dirty glasses left out, no napkins or debris littered it. Every table was similarly clean and presentable. Shelves behind the bar held a wide selection of respectable liquors. The lights in the hanging fixtures overhead, surrounded by their green glass shades in the shapes of leaves, cast a pleasant diffuse glow through the whole place. Still, though, despite the excellent upkeep, the early afternoon wasn't prime business hours for drinking, and the room was mostly empty. Standing behind the bar was a unicorn mare with a light sandy colored coat. She had a deep golden strawberry blonde colored mane and tail and brilliant emerald green eyes. A white collar and dark forest green bowtie were around her neck, and a cute spray of lighter colored freckles played across her cheeks. Her cutie mark was a bottle set next to a tumbler glass. Rainbow Dash recognized her instantly, and smiled with familiarity as she walked up to the bar. "Sherry!" She exclaimed. "Long time, no see! Still workin' here, huh? Not that I'm surprised..." The bartender laughed. "Well, it's what I'm good at, what can I say? Got the cutie mark for it an' everything. It's... Uhh... Don't tell me... Been a while but I remember you..." She cocked her head slightly and rolled her eyes upward, thoughtfully, and tapped one forehoof on the floor. "Smash... Bash... No... Somethin' like that..." She mumbled quietly. "Dash!" She finally said, more loudly. "That's it. Rainbow Dash, with the crazy rainbow mane!" "The one and only!" Rainbow Dash grinned and nodded. "Didn't you used to come in with that white mare all the time?" Sherry asked. The smile partly faded from Rainbow Dash's face. "Yeah..." She agreed. "I did... Once upon a time, I guess." "Oh. Things changed, huh?" Sherry ventured with a little shrug. "Sorry." "Guess that's a way to look at it." Rainbow Dash shrugged back. "Yeah, breakups suck, huh?" Sherry said. "Ehh... It wasn't exactly a - " Rainbow Dash started, sounding slightly embarassed. "But I guess you got plenty of friends here with you now, though." Sherry continued, unintentionally interrupting. "Uhhh... Yeah. Brought 'em in all the way from Ponyville." Rainbow Dash nodded, more than happy to just let the subject change. "This is Twilight Sparkle... Fluttershy... Pinkie Pie... Rarity... Applejack..." Dash introduced the ponies all by name, one by one. "And this is Gilda." She introduced the griffin, who'd been hanging towards the back of the group. "Wow." Sherry the bartender was taken aback a little. "I haven't seen a griffin in here in... Jeeze. Years." "Guess the whole war thing kinda put a cramp on that." Gilda said dryly. "Sure did!" Sherry said. "You know... Not... That you're not welcome in here, or anything." She said awkwardly. "'Cause you are. Nice to meet you." "Yeah. You too." Gilda nodded. "So what can I get you girls?" Sherry asked, getting down to business at last. "A round of honeyciders for all of us!" Rainbow Dash immediately said. "I gotta have all my friends try one, as long as we're in town." "Ah. Good taste, this one." Sherry nodded. "You girls ever had a honeycider before?" She asked, looking at the group. "No..." They all answered, one by one, after looking around at each other uncertainly. "Trick question! Of course you haven't. It's the house specialty drink. Nopony else makes it... 'Least, not as good, if they try." Sherry said, proudly. "You're gonna love it." She got out seven heavy glass mugs, setting them in a row on the bar. "See, it's like a plain apple cider, to start with... Fermented with yeast 'till it's what you'd call pretty hard. 'Bout eight percent alcohol or so." She began filling the mugs one by one from a tap. "Then we add our mix of spices... Seasonings... And set it back out in the barrel to age." The mugs, as they filled with a golden brown, slighly cloudy liquid with a pale frothy head, were set back in a line on the bar. "And at the same time, we ferment some honey and water. Makes a nice sweet mead." The mugs kept lining up. "Then when they're both ready, we mix juuuuuust the right amounts together, along with some fresh honey, a few more spices... Blend it up for the right balance of taste... And BAM!" She thumped down the last mug in the row. "You've got honeycider!" Sherry beamed from behind the row of mugs, proud of her showmareship. It was pretty good, Rainbow Dash found herself smiling. Those mugs and the drink they were filled with brought back memories. They looked delicious. She could practically hear one of them calling her name. "Well, what are you all waiting for?" Rainbow Dash grabbed a mug from the end of the row for herself. "Help yourselves!" All the rest of the ponies, and Gilda, took a mug at her prompting. They looked at them, cautiously, tentatively, unfamiliar with the contents. "Shouldn't we, uh, drink ta... Somethin'?" Applejack suggested, peering down into the foam atop hers. "Sure, if you want." Rainbow Dash agreed. "How 'bout to... Uh..." She tried to think of something meaningful to all of them. "To the friends who can't be here." Twilight Sparkle suddenly interjected. Applejack smiled and gave Twilight a little nod. "Sure, sugarcube. That'll do. To the friends who can't be here right now." She raised her mug a little. All the rest of them did the same, following her lead. With that, they all drank. As she tipped her heavy mug up, the unique drink inside crossed Rainbow Dash's lips and flooded her tongue with a taste that had an old familiarity unrecalled for a long time. It was delicious, amazing, as it always had been... The taste of apple cider sugared with the sheer sweetness of honey, and the added notes of spices... Cinnamon spiked, just a touch of cloves, something suggesting citrus peel... Some other flavors that were hard to put a hoof on... Ingredients that Sherry would never in a million years divulge, anyway. It all came together incredibly. After a heavy draught, gulping down at least a third of the liquid in one long, slow, savoring pull, Dash slowly lowered her mug. The mug lowered, clearing her visual field once again. In her mind's eye, she could see it - the lights were different, it was dark outside, no sun coming in through the windows. A gentle cacophony of voices and music, the usual thick sound of an evening crowd at the Golden Horseshoe, filled the air, infusing the environment with a busy, energetic feeling. Suddenly another mug, emptied of its contents, slammed down on the bar next to Rainbow Dash. "Ha! All down in one shot!" The familiar voice of a female pony exclaimed proudly. "Told ya I could!" "Easy there, killer." Rainbow Dash admonished, looking over. Alabaster was standing next to her, hoof still inside the handle of the mug she'd just drained. "You tryin' to make yourself hurl or something?" "You're just jealous I beat you!" Alabaster grinned back at Dash. "And when was the last time I ever threw up, anyway?" "I dunno..." Dash conceded. "Flight school, I guess? The corkscrew thing we had to do that one time?" "You threw up too. We all did." Alabaster pointed out. "It was a pretty terrible day..." "Oh yeah." Rainbow Dash laughed. "But you know what?" Dash said, peering into her own still partially full mug. "Honeycider is a drink you enjoy, not just slam down... And I still have same left to enjoy and you're all out. And there's nothin' you can do about it! So HA!" She taunted her friend. "That's not true!" Alabaster shot back. "I... Can buy another one!" "Yeah?" Dash glanced at Alabaster and raised one eyebrow. "Yeah!" Alabaster affirmed. "Uhh... Except that... I've already had two... And we still gotta get all the way back to camp... So... I'd... Better not." She said, lamely, and hung her head a little. "Oh, responsibility..." Dash shook her head. "Is there a good time it can't wreck?" "Eh, it's alright." Alabaster shrugged. "A hangover isn't exactly a good time anyway." "Ugh... Fact." Dash agreed. She stared into her own mug, down into the remaining liquid, and gently swirled it around a couple times, watching the slow sloshing. "... Sure is sweet, alright." Applejack's voice drifted into Rainbow Dash's ear, tugging her gently out of her memories, away from the nighttime crowd of those years ago, drinking with Alabaster, and back into the present day mid-afternoon. "But they use good apples, I can taste 'em. And the spices really give it somethin' special. Hate ta admit it, but... Even compared to the Apple family cider, this stuff's pretty amazin'." "Oh, quite incredible, indeed." Rarity agreed with Applejack's assessment. "I do wonder how many calories come with this kind of incredible, however. I suspect it can't be a light number." "Actually, Rarity..." Rainbow Dash began, looking up from her mug again, "That's part of why a lot of Combat Fliers came to this bar and made honeycider their drink of choice. Aside from the amazing taste, we kinda needed as many calories as we could get." "You what?" Rarity had a skeptical look of disbelief. "Yeah, I know. Some ponies struggle to keep weight off. We had to struggle to keep enough on sometimes." Rainbow Dash said. "Pegasi who do a lot of high-intensity flying for a long time burn through a lot of energy. Sometimes, their body tries to react by dropping muscle mass to lighten itself, especially if they already don't have a lot of fat to burn off. But we didn't want to let that happen because we still had to be able to stay in shape for ground fighting, too, and you need the muscle and strength in your legs for that. Only solution, really, is to stuff your face 'till your body's convinced it has all the energy it needs." "So... You... Eat whatever you want, no matter how ridiculously fattening it would be to most other ponies, and it's a good thing?" Rarity asked. "Not like that isn't pretty much how I've always done things, but yeah." Rainbow Dash nodded. "Must... Control... Jealously..." Rarity said, through clenched teeth. "Must... Not... Hurt... Friend..." "Yeah, I've been known to get that reaction." Rainbow Dash said. "But trust me, it's a lot less of a good deal than you think. It only works if you're burning those calories. That kind of privilege comes with a price." "You should see her at sugarcube corner recharging after a looong day of flying." Pinkie Pie laughed. "It's a show! Dashie, the amazing bottomless pit!" "Hah, well, I know whatcha mean. Big Macintosh gets like that durin' the harvest season when the work's the longest and hardest, too." Applejack nodded. "Sometimes I wonder, when ya balance out how much he harvests in a day to how much he can eat, if we do any better than just break even." Twilight was a distance away, not really paying attention to the conversing of the others. She flagged Sherry over to where she was at the bar. "This is really good. But... I'm sorry, I'm just not really in the mood for sweet. I think I feel like something... Like, uh..." She looked up and scanned the shelves behind the bar. "How 'bout that one?" She pointed one forehoof at a particular bottle, square shaped, filled with an amber liquid. "That one's a pretty good whiskey. At least that's what I hear. Some of that." "Sure thing." Sherry nodded. "You want that neat or on the rocks?" "No ice." Twilight shook her head. "You got it." Sherry poured the drink and set it down in front of Twilight. Horn slightly glowing, Twilight levitated the glass gently, swirling the whiskey, and she breathed in the aroma of the liquor. "To the friends who can't be here." She said, quietly, sullenly, before lifting the glass up and sipping on it. Rainbow Dash, after breaking away from the rest of the group, walked up to the bar next to Twilight, who barely looked over to acknowledge her presence. She was focusing instead on the drink in front of her, examining it, pondering every aspect of the liquid and the glass it was in. She looked like she was on the verge of saying something, mouth opening to speak. But she didn't. She just sighed and kept staring forlornly at her whiskey. "It's really getting to you, isn't it?" Rainbow Dash asked quietly. Twilight didn't answer for several seconds. "Guess so." She finally mumbled. "I... It just... I dunno. Forget it. I'll be fine." Rainbow Dash reached up with a foreleg and rubbed Twilight briefly on the shoulder. "Hey... I'm sorry. I know it's not an easy thing to feel." She said. "But don't try to cover it up, Twilight. Some of the good times me and Alabaster had together were here in this bar. That's why I wanted to come here, to have a drink and remember the good things... But be careful. I've told you about the mistakes I made after she died, trying to make it work the other way around instead. Don't do what I did. Don't try to drink to replace feeling with being numb. Don't try to drink to forget. Doesn't help. Know what I mean?" "Right." Twilight nodded. She stared down at the woodgrain of the bar for a few seconds, then, finally, looked up at Rainbow Dash. "Yeah, I know what you mean. And... And I won't, I'll be okay..." She said. "It's just more the surprise than anything, you know? I'd never even heard anything about her after I left. I had no idea." "I know, Twi." Rainbow Dash said softly. "I know. It... Just... It sucks. I know." "There's nothing you can do about it, is there?" Twilight asked, with a sigh. "Just time, Twilight." Rainbow Dash said. "Just time. That's about it. And if you need to talk to somepony about it... Do it. I'm here for that, if you ever want to. Don't forget." "I suppose you would be the pony for it." Twilight nodded. Twilight sat there, taking a couple of slow, small thoughtful sips over the next minute or two. "You know, Moondancer, she wanted to know how to make Equestria a better place." Twilight said. "I think that's why she went. I think it's why she wanted to be an officer in the unicorn corps. She always wanted to understand how to lead ponies. That was what she thought was important, figuring out how to get us all to work together to make big things happen." "I'm sure she was good at it." Rainbow Dash said. "They don't make you an officer if you're not." "She was." Twilight nodded. "She was a natural organizer. It's why her parties always had a reputation for being successes. I just wish... That I'd ever showed up to one." "You can't change it." Rainbow Dash shrugged. "So don't beat yourself up." "I know." Twilight sipped her drink. "It just kinda hurts to realize these things retrospectively, that's all." "Yeah." Rainbow Dash nodded. "It just feels like seeing those gravestones gave me a good hard kick in the side and I'm going to be bruised for a while." Twilight said. "Well..." Rainbow Dash thought for a second. "Bruises don't last forever. That ache will die down eventually." "I'll be glad to get home." Twilight said. "Where I won't have to think about places and things like this for a while. I think that'll help." "You and me both, Twilight." Rainbow Dash nodded. "I'm looking forward to seeing this fade into the distance again. I'm ready to let it go, out of my life. That's about all I want now." "Good thing it'll be time to catch the train soon, then, isn't it?" Twilight smiled a little bit. "I can't wait!" Rainbow Dash laughed a little bit and smiled back. Late at night, in much the same way it was on the ride out, Rainbow Dash was sitting in the dark, alone, in a car that was quiet except for the constant soft background noise the train made as it rolled along. Faint moonlight illuminated the features of the land, the rocks and the trees and fields, glimmering off the dewdrops that formed from the chilled night air, just barely enough to see the world rushing by. It was calming. The blanket of night brought a silent peace to the land they were passing through. For the first time in a long while, Rainbow Dash felt like a part of that peace herself. She was alone for a long time, enjoying that feeling, enjoying the night, until, to her slight surprise, she heard the quiet hoofsteps of another pony approaching. She'd thought all the others were long asleep. Turning to look, she could tell in the dim light that the other pony was Twilight Sparkle. "Hey Twi." Rainbow Dash said softly as the other pony neared. "Oh!" Twilight was briefly surprised. "I didn't think you'd still be up." "You couldn't sleep either, huh?" Rainbow Dash asked. "No. I tried to, for a while, but... I suppose not." Twilight said, while moving into the seat next to Rainbow Dash. "You're not still thinking about it, are you?" Rainbow Dash asked. "I guess so." Twilight admitted. "A little." "Well... That's only natural, really." Rainbow Dash replied with a shrug. "It's made me think more about something else, though." Twilight said. "Yeah? What's that?" Rainbow asked. "I think it's made me realize that... I... Maybe I kind of owe you an apology, Rainbow." Twilight said. "What?" Rainbow Dash was surprised. "How could you possibly have anything to apologize for after everything you've done for me as my friend, Twilight?" "Because I keep thinking about how I felt, and how... Unfamiliar it was... How I wasn't able to understand before. I thought I did, but it..." Twilight shook her head. "It wasn't enough. It wasn't as much as you deserved." "You did as much as you could, Twi. I know that." Rainbow Dash said. "That's all that matters." "Yes, but it just feels different now." Twilight shook her head. "I kind of... See it in a new way. Now I know what I was missing." "So... what changed?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously. "I've never been shaken like that, Rainbow. I've been... Just... Lucky, until now." Twilight said. "I've never really lost somepony I knew. So I guess I never understood what this has been like for you. I still don't, not as strongly as you must. Moondancer wasn't somepony that close to me, not like I can see now that Alabaster was to you. But it still feels... Well, like you said the other night. Like there's something missing now, like there's a piece gone. Now I understand that feeling. I'm so sorry. If I'd really, truly known what this was like, maybe I could have helped you more before now. I feel like all I could do was listen and nod my head. I couldn't really say anything 'cause I couldn't feel it, you know?" "That's alright, Twilight." Rainbow Dash said. "The truth is... Well, it's like this. There's good days and there's bad days. That's life, you know? There'll always be ups and downs. All in all, though, the last five years haven't been too bad. It's been mostly good days. I've been happy, Twilight. I really haven't been suffering. You don't need to worry about that. And the biggest part of that has been because of you guys. You've helped me more than I think any of you realizes, just by being my friends. Just by being around. That's all I could ever ask any of you for. There's no way to magically erase the things that happened in the past and take away all the scars, and I don't expect that from anypony. Bad days are just gonna happen sometimes. It's the price I know I have to pay for what I had to do. That's okay. I mean it, really, I'm okay." "Why?" Twilight asked. "When we talked about this, a long time ago, it sounded like you'd been getting it all pretty well under control." "Mostly, yeah. Some kinds of hurt, you can get over just by thinking them through, realizing you don't have to hold on to them. Sometimes it's not always so easy. But I guess it can fool you. Sometimes you can feel alright even though there's still something you need to take care of." Rainbow Dash said. "It's like a splinter stuck inside of you. You can get so used to it just being there after a while that you don't really notice it anymore. But it's still there. Just thinking about it isn't enough. You gotta do something about it to really make it go away. You gotta finally just pull it out. I didn't realize that so completely until now... It was hard, but... I'm glad in a way that I had this kind of 'bad day', because now this particular one is finally over for good. I won't have it again, not like before. When I used to think of Alabaster, I used to smell blood, Twilight. I used to smell the blood, the war, the death... The bad things that happened out here, the bad things we saw and had to do together. And all I could feel was sad, and angry, and how much I still miss her. But thinking about her now... It's not like that anymore. Now I smell those roses I left at her memorial, the kind she loved because in her heart she was gentle and beautiful. And that's all. It's finally over. I finally... Have a happy memory of her, the kind of way she deserves to be remembered. I'm glad I ended up having to come back here." "I think you have a lot of courage to have done that." Twilight Sparkle said. "I... Wish I had as much." "Nah." Rainbow Dash shook her head with a modest smile. "If I had courage, I woulda done it a long time ago, when I should have just gotten it over with. In the end it wasn't a matter of courage, it was a matter of not having a choice." "But you did have a choice." Twilight said. "Not really. My friend needed me." Rainbow Dash shrugged. "I had to help Gilda. I had to protect her. Loyalty. I'm the shield, remember?" "I wish you wouldn't think like that." Twilight Sparkle said, slightly unhappily. "It's what I am." Rainbow Dash said. "How am I supposed to pretend I'm something else? I can't live like that... We have to accept what we are, Twi. That means accepting what other ponies are, too. I know it's hard. It's hard for me, too, sometimes." She smiled wryly. "Like Applejack, she drives me crazy 'cause of who she is sometimes. But I can't change her. And I wouldn't want to. She's gotta be who she's gotta be, even if it means we get into a fight once in a while. We're always still friends when the dust settles." Twilight looked comtemplative, but said nothing. Silence settled between the two of them for a while. "It'll be alright, Twilight." Rainbow Dash finally said. She raised her foreleg and put it around Twilight's shoulders, trying to be comforting. "I know what you're worried about, what I told you a long time ago about me being first... But don't. Everything will be alright." Twilight looking down at the floor. "Yeah." She said quietly. After a few seconds, Twilight turned and pulled Rainbow Dash into a gentle hug. She laid the side of her head on Dash's shoulder. Dash reached out with both forelimbs and held her. "I don't want you to leave us." Twilight Sparkle said softly. "Not for a long, long time, Twi." Rainbow Dash replied. "Not ever." Twilight shook her head. "Nopony lives forever." Rainbow Dash spoke softly. Twilight didn't answer, she only sighed and hugged Dash a little bit tighter. Rainbow Dash just held Twilight for a few minutes. "Thanks for coming with me." She finally said. "I know I wanted to say no at first, but... Now after it's said and done, I'm glad you were all here." "I love you." Twilight whispered. "We all do." "I love you too." Rainbow Dash whispered back. Gradually, in the quiet peace of the embracing darkness, the two of them fell asleep together as the train carried them home. The End For Nicole. I don't know how I could have made it through the worst times if you hadn't been there for me. Friendship truly is magic.