> A Celestial Mix-up
>  by pchn00
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1: A Very Long Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1: A Very Long Day

“And as you can see here Princess, the projected earthworm migration could very well…”  Celestia was doing her best to focus on her petitioners.  Seated upon her throne, her absolute favorite cushion beneath her royal rump she looked out at the happily chattering earth pony stallion and plastered her usual serene smile on her face.

First there’d been a slow rock harvest this year.  It meant construction would be slow and repairs requiring stone more expensive for old roads and buildings.  After that she had to sit through a representative from the astronomer’s guild as he complained about Luna shifting the stars in the sky.  She’d honestly lost track of how many times she’d tried to send them to Luna’s night court, but they preferred to bring the complaints to her.  She in turn would laugh about them over a late night glass of wine with her sister, but it was still an unnecessary annoyance.

After that Blueblood wanted to propose she make it illegal for anypony under a certain level of wealth to be seen in Canterlot’s upper districts.  How in the world he had planned to accomplish the proper identification was entirely beyond the Princess.  She shot him down immediately of course.  The day was brightened slightly come afternoon when she received a friendship report from Twilight.  Evidently Spike had asked Rarity to accompany him to the Fall Harvest Festival.  The lesson of the day was sometimes baby dragons get shot down by adult mares.  

The new Captain of the Royal Guard, Sterling Silver, wanted a bigger budget to hunt down changelings who may be hiding in pony society.  By hunt down he of course wanted free reign to drag anypony who might be suspected of being, or knowing, a changeling, which would essentially boil down to a witch hunt and possibly lead to a revolution.  Which was certainly not something Celestia was of a mind to deal with.

And now she was enduring this incredibly tedious speech delivered by this stallion whom she was sure was a very nice pony.  A part of her felt a small pang of guilt as she admitted just how little she cared about something he was so obviously excited about.  In the past she’d always taken a keen interest in whatever her subjects were passionate over, whether she herself cared about it or not.  She used to be of the opinion that just because you didn’t know a lot about something at present time, did not mean it couldn’t become something you were fascinated in with a little education.

Which really came to the very core of the problem.  Princess Celestia was old.  Very old.  Quite literally older than a large amount of the dirt that made up the Equestrian landscape. And being the ancient, learned, well-traveled mare that she was… while not at all wanting to sound full of herself… Celestia was fairly certain she knew everything  about pretty much anything that went on not only in her Kingdom, but the bulk of her neighbor's kingdoms as well.

And when one knows everything there is to know about everything, one can grow very bored, very fast.  She idly wondered if Luna had the same problem.  Probably not, she thought, given her sister’s knowledge gap of the past one thousand years, she was keeping very busy devouring every little tidbit she could find on this modern era.  When she wasn’t studying, she would generally be out and about Canterlot questioning any random pony in the streets who made eye contact about whatever subject was currently interesting her.

Her curious behavior was having the surprisingly positive effect of endearing her to her subjects.  At first they were fearful and mistrusting of the returned Lunar Diarch, but after coming to realize that aside from a noticeable height difference, Luna was far more like the common pony than her sister.  After all, Celestia rarely left the castle.  And when she did it was always in the company of her guards, and generally to see to some new catastrophe.  Nine times out of ten centering around Ponyville.

Luna’s popularity only seemed to be growing as time passed.  Her little sister was of course delighted to find her subjects so accepting of her presence.  Equally delighted was she to find that more than a few twenty-four hour eateries had cropped up in the past millennia, and that late night dance clubs had grown in popularity as well.  The younger Princess had stricken up a close friendship with a DJ named Vinyl Scratch at one such club.  

Truly, Celestia couldn’t be happier for her little sister.  After so many years of sadness and heartache, it was wonderful to see Luna finally fitting in amongst their subjects.  Celestia herself had tried to enter such an establishment in the past, though the moment she arrived the DJ’s switched to the sort of dull classical music it was assumed she loved.  The excitement died immediately and everypony more or less stood about awkwardly until she left.  

When did she become the ‘old lady’ of Equestria?  She liked to have fun.  She liked to party.  Granted she hadn’t been to an actual party not thrown specifically in her honor in quite some time, but still.  In the past her parties had put anything Pinkie Pie put together to shame.  (Pinkie was in fact an unknowing student of Celestia’s, having made several books penned by a Miss Sunny Skies on the subject of party planning her near nightly reads).  The great volcanoes of the land of dragons had come about after one such night of drunken carousing.  

Celestia was stuck in a rut.  While she dearly loved her kingdom, and all her little ponies… she deserved some time just for herself, didn’t she?  Equestria could keep running without her for a few days.  Maybe a week even.  That wasn’t so long a time.  

Then she came back to the day’s events.  Her subjects came to her for advice on growing rocks and herding earthworms.  Maybe, just maybe, they’d grown a little too dependant on her.  Maybe some time away from Equestria would do both herself, and the kingdom itself some good.  She couldn’t very well just announce she intended to take a vacation.  The outcry from the nobility would be enormous.  Nor could she simply disappear.  Heaven knows what Twilight Sparkle would do if she up and vanished.  

No, Celestia needed an altogether cleverer solution.  Something well thought out, and properly befitting a mare of her years of accumulated wisdom.  She had to do some very deep thinking.  

This called for cake.

***
Marissa sighed in her cubicle, poking at the little bobble head of a certain animated pony princess that decorated her desk.  Watching the little plastic Celestia’s head bob up and down, she pondered on how this was the highlight of her day.  Where had her life gone wrong?  She graduated top of her class with her art degree, specializing in commercial ad work.  She’d left college excited for the no doubt successful life that awaited her!

And now, a year and a half later she was still working the same telemarketing job she’d had when in school.  She lived in the same tiny apartment she’d been in for the last three years.  She had the same incredibly obnoxious roommates too.  Everything was the same.  She was supposed to be moving forward.  She was supposed to have at the very least, some kind of entry level position in her field of choice.  

The sound of keyboards rapidly being typed upon heralded the arrival of the floor supervisor.  The callers like herself did at most, maybe an hour or two of real work in an eight hour shift.  So while her job wasn’t exactly hard or stressful, it was unbelievably, unequivocally, undeniably boring.  It was in Marissa’s expert opinion very likely the most boring job a person could possibly have.  

She didn’t like to complain too much (out loud).  At least she had a job.  It’s more than she could say for certain members of her family.  Her eyes drifted to a picture of her family on her desk, she and her mom smiling happily.  Her older brother and father somehow managing to stand close enough to one another without coming to blows long enough to take a picture.  She huffed and refocused on her computer screen.

Marissa loved her brother.  He could always make her laugh, he was always there when she needed him.  He really was the greatest guy in the world as far as she was concerned.  He just had a bad habit of… being lazy.  Really lazy.  Alex was always happy to help, no matter what you wanted him to do or where you needed him to go.  He just hated working.  With an almost scary passion.  The lengths he’d gone to in the past to wiggle out of getting a job had actually scared her now and again.  

The worst of course when their father had finally announced he was dragging Alex out onto the crab fishing boat for their three month tour in the Atlantic.  Alex had convinced one of his friends to back over his leg with his truck, fracturing the shin.  Obviously this had gotten him out of going on the grueling fishing trip.  

With a little grunt of annoyance she tried to focus on filling out her daily reports.  Doing her best to ignore thoughts of her stagnant lifestyle and her loving, but infuriating brother she worked on drowning her woes in monotony.  Halfway through twelfth identical report, a small chat box pinged open at the bottom of the screen.  Wondering if it was Alex killing time, one of her roomies wanting her to buy more food, or one of the rare friends she’d kept in contact with through college she clicked the blinking window.

Immediately she raised an eyebrow at the handle.  ‘Celestia5662’.  It definitely wasn’t one she recognized.  The message was a simple ‘Hello?  Can you see this message?’

Marissa debated responding or just closing the window.  She was a member of a few different forums and online groups, so it was probably someone from a pony board she frequented.  Figuring it was better than just passing the day away with humdrum drudgery she responded.  

‘Yup!  What can I do for you?’

The little message that informed her they were typing a reply appeared, and stayed there long enough she almost lost interest.  ‘Well!  I thought there might be something we could do for one another.  If I may ask, are you alone?’

Immediately about a dozen warning bells went off in Marissa’s head.  She definitely didn’t want to engage in cyber sex, freaky RP, or whatever weird Skype call this person had in mind.  She quickly clicked on the little x, shutting the window and ending the chat.  

A few minutes later the window reappeared blinking again.  With a scowl Marissa exited the chat program and went back to work.  Her eyes widened as it seemingly reopened itself, and the window resumed its flashing.  Again she closed it, and again the program restarted itself.  Starting to grow equally frustrated and nervous, she leaned under her desk and flipped the power switch on her computer.  She gave it a good five minutes before flipping it back on.

Sure enough the window was blinking, demanding her attention.  Marissa chewed on her lower lip now as she shut her computer off again.  Grabbing her purse she walked briskly to the desk.  “Hey I’m not feeling well.  I’m taking off a little early today.”

Her supervisor looked up from his paperwork.  “You look fine to me.”

She dropped her voice to a low whisper.  “Lady problems.”

That always worked.  Wide-eyed he nodded and motioned for her to move along.  Offering an apologetic smile she hurried down the hall tot he elevator, riding it to the ground floor and heading out the door.  “Great.  I’m gonna have to change my handle I guess.  LAst thing I need is some creepy stalker.”

Halfway to her beloved little VW Bug, her phone began to buzz like she had a text message.  Frowning she flipped it open, and nearly dropped it when she saw who it was from.  Celestia5662.

‘I’m sorry if I did or said something wrong, I’m not very familiar with this method of communication.  I was very much hoping to have a conversation with you Miss Masters.’

Marissa gasped aloud as she saw whoever it was on the other end knew her real name.

‘Listen to me you creepy fuck, leave me alone or I’ll call the cops!’

Climbing into her car she threw the phone into the passenger seat and backed out of her space.  She yelped as it began to buzz with another incoming message.  “Jesus Christ, some people can’t take a hint.”

Against her better judgment she peeked at the message.

‘Language like that betrays a very limited vocabulary Marissa.  I’m disappointed.’

Equally angry, worried, and outraged Marissa snatched her phone up.

‘Well excuse me!  You’re the creeper stalking me and wanting to have online sex!’

This time she didn’t jump when she got a message back.  ‘I don’t want to have online sex!  I don’t want to have any sex. With you at least.  I was just searching for a specific kind of person that I thought may be interested in an offer I wished to make.  It’s been a little difficult searching for just the right kind of person, but I think you fit the bill perfectly.’

Marissa had to admit a tiny part of her was intrigued.  Someone was searching for someone just like her?  Why?  What made her so special?  She didn’t like to admit it but she was at least self-aware enough to know she wasn’t some kind of artistic savant of anything.  ‘What kind of offer?’

‘I’m so glad you asked!  What would you say to the chance to visit another world entirely different from your own.  A magical world!’

Marissa shut off her phone, and resolved to change the number as soon as possible.

***

Celestia frowned as the signal between the enchanted crystal she’d crafted, and the young human’s device shut-down abruptly.  “Hm.  Maybe a little evidence would go a long way to helping her believe I’m not some lunatic on the internet.”

She’d spent days searching for a world different from her own, but one that still had reasonably civilized sapient beings.  Stumbling upon Earth she’d been delighted to note that the strange world had many coincidental parallels to her own.  Accessing their internet had been easy enough, and after a few hiccups where she discovered one should be very careful about what you type into a search bar, she’d found something most intriguing.

Evidently stories about Equestria were told in this other world as fiction.  A children’s cartoon show specifically.  Many of the facts were far too accurate to be simple coincidence, and she wondered if perhaps the humans behind the shows creation had somehow caught glimpses of Equestria.  Discord had sworn up and down he had nothing to do with it, but Celestia was fairly certain he was lying.  

Never the less, it was almost too perfect for her plan.  She simply had to find the right human, someone who was a fan of this show and make them the offer.  She was sure many of them would jump at the chance to spend a week in her hooves, and she was excited to spend a week in their world.  It was a perfect plan, with absolutely no chance of anything going wrong.  

She’d found Marissa Masters on one such website dedicated to My Little Pony.  Initially she’d been drawn to the young woman thanks to her online avatar.  A rather beautiful rendering of Celestia herself.  Her online moniker, The Princess of Awesome had helped as well.  Celestia spent quite some time studying up on Miss Masters.  It was a simple enough matter to discover her real identity and learn some background information with a few choice spells.

She really should have anticipated the human’s disbelieving attitude however.  Their world was entirely bereft of magic, and the internet was full of unscrupulous individuals.  Still, Marrisa was intelligent.  Kind, compassionate, hard working, and an all around good person.  The coming week was going to be very slow with everypony busy with their final harvests of the year, and preparing to usher in the Winter.  Celestia rarely, if ever, had any petitioners over the coming week year after year.

Now she only had to convince Marissa to make the switch.

***

Blowing through the front door Marissa slammed it behind, setting a brisk pace for her room without slowing down.  One of her roommates, probably Julie since it was the middle of the day and she was no doubt overcoming her latest hangover, cried out in protest of the noise.  Ignoring the complaining woman, Marissa stepped into her bedroom and shut the door.

She actually shrieked in alarm at the figure sleeping in her bed.  Fear turned to irritation as she realized it was her brother Alex.  The lanky twenty-eight year old flopped over in her bed, contentedly snoring up at the ceiling.  Marissa’s anger turned to concern as she noted the twin black eyes he was sporting.  He must have gotten into it with their dad again.

Shaking her head slowly she sighed and tugged off his shoes, throwing a blanket over him.  She could yell at him for letting himself in (through the window probably) later.  Her brother temporarily seen to, she settled at her computer desk, grimacing at the task before her.  Having to change all her names and accounts was going to be a huge hassle.  It was better than dealing with a crazy all the time though.

The sound of her PC whirring to life wouldn’t disturb her brother, who could sleep through an earthquake.  Literally, a mid-sized quake had hit their city a few years ago and Alex had blissfully slept right through a tree falling through the roof of the living room.

Hitting the power button she slid her headset over her chestnut curls and leaned back in the chair.  If she was stuck doing this for an hour or two might as well listen to music.  As soon as her computer finished booting up, a large window appeared.  Marissa’s eyes widened as she realized it was a video chat.  Though it wasn’t a person she was looking at in the screen.

It was a horse.  A horse with a horn, a glossy white coat, and a rainbow hued, ethereal mane undulating almost hypnotically.  Huge eyes of a gorgeous violet hue gazed back her her.  A delicate golden crown rested just behind her horn.  It had to be Princess Celestia.  Or some poor horse painted to look like her.  That didn’t explain the mane though, or how the eyes were too large and expressive for a real animal.  “Hello, Marissa.”

Marissa’s mouth worked open and closed as she stared at what she was beginning to think was the best CGI she’d ever seen.  “...uh… hi?”

“It’s a pleasure to speak with you in person… so to speak.  I apologize if my clumsy messaging earlier was off putting.  I’m not terribly used to the technology of your world yet.  I think I’m getting better though.”

The astonished woman nodded slowly.  “This is… a prank right?  PinkieGuy42 or something animated you?  But how are you responding if you’re just a program?”

“The simplest answer would be because I am not a program.  I’m the one hundred percent genuine article.  Princess Celestia in the flesh.  So to speak.”

A panicky little laugh escaped the woman’s lips.  “Heh!  Ha.  S--sorry but…. but that’s impossible.  You’re not real.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m as real as you are, Marissa.”

“How… how are you talking to me?  How do you even know who I am?”

“Well, I’ve been looking for just the right person, as I mentioned in the text message.  You see, I’m looking to get away for a little while.  Just a short little vacation.  But I’ve been around a very long time, and Equestria doesn’t really hold much interest for me.  I was hoping to enjoy a short otherworldly trip.”

“...l--like Twilight did through the mirror?”

“Exactly.  Though if I up and vanished for a week it would cause an nationwide panic.  So I was hoping that you would be open to the idea of making a small switch.”

Marissa blinked, staring blankly at the screen.  “Yes.  You and I would exchange consciousnesses for the week.  I would be you, and you would be me.”

“Ahhhhh…..”  Marissa blinked slowly again.  “...you want me to be the Princess of Equestria for a week?”

Celestia nodded, smiling a little now as she felt somewhat encouraged by Marissa’s response.  “Yes.  It’s a very, very, very slow week for me.  The fall harvest and winter preparations don’t require much of anything from me.  At most you’d have to sit on the throne, smile and nod a lot.  Deal with the occasional noble…”

Marissa rapidly flailed her hands at the screen.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Deal with nobles?  If the Canterlot nobles are half of what they seem to be on the show how the heck am I supposed to deal with them?!”

“Mmm.  I find that generally telling them ‘no’ to anything they request does the trick.  As I said, I’ve done a lot of research on potentially suitable people to spend the week as me.  You’re the best of the lot Marissa.  You embody everything I look for when I personally appoint somepony to my court.  You’re a kind, generous person who cares genuinely about people.  You have a good head on your shoulders, and I’m confident you can make sound decisions if you really must.  And if there’s any tremendous emergency, I’ll of course leave a way for us to communicate.”

Marissa ran her hands through her hair.  “I… but… but what about my job?  And like, won’t the ponies think something is up when I can’t do magic or whatever?”

“That’s the best part!”  Celestia beamed.  “You WILL be able to do magic.  The spell will allow us access to one anothers more important details about our lives and day to day business.  I’ll know how to do your job just as well as you.  You’ll know how to do magic just as well as me.  I trust you to act responsibly with it.”

The young woman slumped in her chair as she pondered all this.  “I… but you’re Princess Celestia. You raise the sun!”

“Just like you’d get to for one whole week, Marissa.  What do you say?”

What did she say?  What could she say?  She’d spent hours watching the show, the movie, reading the comics, and more than a little of the fanfiction.  Now she found out it was all real (more or less) and that Princess Celestia herself was asking her for a favor.  A favor that would result in her being able to spend a week in the magical land she’d fallen in love with over the last four years!

Her giddy smile gave Celestia her answer before she spoke.  “Ok!  Let’s do it!”

Celestia’s smile was equally bright.  “Wonderful.  Give me just a moment to prepare the spell.  A glowing rune should appear on the center of your screen.  Simply tap it and the transfer will happen.  The spell is timed to undo itself once the week is up, just in case some sort of trouble arises and you’d be unable to cast the spell yourself.”

Marissa nodded rapidly.  “Okay!  Ready when you are!” 

***

Celestia couldn’t believe her luck.  The first perfect human she’d found, and she’d said yes.  Already the Princess was imagining seeing some of the sights she’d been researching through the internet.  And she was equally excited to sample the local cuisines, maybe take in a movie or two (they definitely looked better than the ones in Equestria) and just enjoy a week free of royal duties.

Channeling the rather complex spell through the viewing crystal, she sighed in satisfaction as the runic symbol appeared.  Now she only had to wait for-

“Sister?  Are you within?  I would like to speak with you.”

Celestia’s eyes widened.  “Er… is it important Luna?  I’m a little busy at the moment…”

“I assure you it won’t take but a moment sister.”

Celestia’s eyes darted from her door to the crystal.  “Marissa, wait just one moment please, I need to speak with my sister.”

She was relieved at the human’s prompt response.  “No problem, Princess!  Take your time!”

Carefully covering the crystal with a cloth, Celestia opened her door.  “What’s wrong, Luna?”

Her younger sister entered, practically abuzz with excitement.  “Sister, I had a petitioner!  In the night court just now!”

Celestia returned her sister’s smile.  “Lulu, that’s wonderful.  Was it anything exciting?”

Luna bobbed her head in a rapid nod.  “It was!  My friend Vinyl has been discussing the possibility of a new holiday in Equestria.  The Winter Moon Festival!  She and the others on her planning crew wish it to be a mirror of the Summer Sun Celebration.  Where I will raise the first moon of the winter!”  Some of her enthusiasm ebbed.  “I… did not want to approve it without your permission.”

The elder Princess chuckled lightly.  “Luna, you don’t need my permission for something like that.  You’re just as much a Princess as I am.  I trust you implicitly, and endorse any decisions you make.  When did she wish to hold this festival?”

“Two weeks from now.  On the first day of winter.”

Celestia moved to her desk checking the planner within.  “Well nothing else is scheduled for that day.  You can count me in as well.”

Luna’s squeal of glee brought a smile to Celestia once more.  The younger alicorn rushed over and engulfed her sister in a tight embrace.  “Thank you Tia!  It shall be a celebration spoken of throughout the ages!”

Returning her sister’s warm embrace Celestia smiled.  Luna’s mood had never been higher, and she was about to have her vacation.  This was shaping up to be one of her better days.

***

Marissa stared at her monitor impatiently, drumming her fingers along her desk top.  Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down.  If Princess Celestia needed a few minutes with her sister, she wasn’t going to tell her no.

“Hey!  Mariss!  I need to talk to you!”

A small mewling whine escaped the young woman at her roommate’s voice.  “Can it wait?”  She glanced over at her brother, still snoring blissfully.

“It’ll be quick.”

Heaving a sigh she slipped her headset off and trudged over to the door.  “What’s wrong, Julie?”

“T.V.’s out again.  Can you take a look at it?”

Marissa looked from her monitor back to her half-asleep roommate.  “Fine!  But it’s gotta be quick okay?”

With a nod the smaller woman stepped aside, letting Marissa exit her room.  “Okay, okay jeez.  What’re you doin’ in there?  Hot sexy chat with some dude?”

Shooting the other woman a quick glare Marissa marched over to the apartment’s large T.V.

***

Alex was slowly stirring in his sleep.  Running a hand across his face he loosed a huge yawn and sat up.  Blinking about in confusion for a minute before he remembered where he was.  Eyeing the blanket his sister must have draped over him in his sleep he grinned a bit and threw it off, swinging his legs out of her incredibly comfortable bed.  “Eh, I’ll cook her dinner to say thanks.”

Pushing himself to his feet he made the short trek to her computer and flopped down in the seat.  She always got on his case for using it without asking, but he didn’t care what kind of freaky stuff she was into.  He frowned curiously at the image on screen.  It looked like a skype call, with no one on the other end.  The camera showed some kind of weird library or something, but it looked like it was off the set of the Hobbit or some crap.

Then there was the big glowing button in the middle of the screen.  He could even feel a little warmth coming from it.  Not the screen, but the gold symbol or whatever itself.  Leaning closer he could swear he saw little wisps of golden mist curling away from it, and into the air in front of the monitor.

“Whaaaaat the fuck?”  Lifting a hand he move to brush at the thing.  The second his hand made contact he felt a strong jolt run up his arm, then everything went dark.

> Chapter 2: The Princess and the Slacker
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2: The Princess and the Slacker

Alex groaned and blinked woozily.  “Jeez… what the hay, Mariss?  Your computer shocked…”  He blinked again, eyes wider as he heard his voice.  “Testing?  Testing?  Hello?  I sound like a big girl?”  He did indeed sound like a big girl.  That’s when he started registering the many, many foreign sensations his body was sending his brain.  His face felt huge.  He felt huge in general but his face was way too big.  

Craning his neck around, which was weirdly easy to do now, he got a view of a long, white furry body.  His body was enormous!  He was a horse!  “I’m a horse?!  Why the buck am I a horse?!”  A weird horse at that.  He was acutely aware of the massive, white feathered wings flaring out at his sides as he got more and more worked up.  “...I’m a horse with wings.  And… a big rainbow tail…wait.  Waaaait, wait, wait.  I know this horse.  No way.  No, no, no this is not happening.”

He blinked suddenly.  “Wait, did I just say buck?  Why the buck am I saying buck?”  Frowning again he started to pace back and forth.  “Um.  Pony feathers!  Horse apples! Hay!  Buck!  I can’t swear?!”

Spying a mirror at the far end of the room he scrambled to his hooves and rushed over to it.  “Oh jeez.”  The displaced human stared hard at the reflection of the regal pony Princess in the mirror.  “I’m Princess… uh… sun… pun!”

“...Alex, you dipshit!  What did you do?!”  

The extremely alien sensation of his ears swiveling around drew Alex’s attention to a… something covered by a sheet.  A something his sister’s voice was coming from.  He rushed toward it, eyeing it a moment before gripping the sheet with his teeth and pulling it away.  There was a large crystal about the size of his new horse head hanging in the air.  All on its own.  A crystal with his sister’s extremely angry visage within.

“Whoa.  How’s it doing the floaty thing?”

“It’s magic, Alex!  You… you… oooo!”

Alex’s eyes widened as he saw a hand rest on his sister’s shoulder.  HIS hand.  “May I speak with him for a moment, Marissa?”  He experienced a very weird out of body moment as he watched himself sit down in his sister’s computer chair.  “Hello, Alex.  It seems we’ve had a little bit of a mix up.”

Hearing such gentle tones coming from his own voice was almost as weird as seeing his body moving around without him controlling it.  “A… a little bit of a mix up?!”

“Please just calm down.  This is all very easily reversible.  Just take a few deep breaths, relax, and I’ll walk you through casting the reversal spell.”

Alex’s new horse ears twitched a bit, and listening to himself WAS helping to calm him down.  He didn’t know if it was what he… she… whatever was saying, or how she was saying it but the Princess in his body had a very soothing effect.  “Okay… okay.  I’m calm.  Can somepony please…”  He scowled.  “Somepony?  Really?!”

“Alex!  Alex, please.  Your speech is being influenced by a safety I laid in the spell that would have allowed Marissa and I access to each others surface memories and skill sets.  The intention was for she and I to switch places for a week.  A sort of vacation for the both of us.  The spell has little safeties sewn into it to make the illusion more complete.  You’ll speak like a native Equestrian, and I’ll speak like a native Earthling.”

Alex closed his eyes taking several more deep breaths.  “Alright.  Fine.  It’s fine.  I’m a big talking female magical cartoon horse and the real owner of this body is squatting in mine.  But it’s cool.  Everything is cool.”  Finally he returned his attention to the crystal.  “So lemme get this straight.  You wanted to switch bodies with my sister, and live each others lives for a week?  How is that a vacation?”

“Well, I’ve been doing my job for a very long time.  Almost longer than your species has had a civilization to be quite frank.  It’s gotten very stale in Equestria for me.  Everything is the same, like an endless cycle constantly repeating.  There’s nowhere for me to go, nowhere to see.  I can’t go to something like a spa because I’d be mobbed and treated like some sort of goddess.  All I want is a nice, exciting vacation.  New sights to see, new foods to taste, a new culture to immerse myself in.  I’m sure it all seems very strange, but when one lives for nearly six thousand years you have to start looking outside the box for new entertainment and experiences.”

Despite the utter insanity of the situation, Alex felt a small part of himself sympathizing with the Princess.  Princess… something tia.  He’d never been a big fan of the show but he’d picked up bits and pieces through cultural osmosis.  He knew it was sun related.  “I guess, like, that kinda makes a weird sorta sense.  And I know Mariss would flip at the chance.  You should see all the pony crap she has, it’s borderline creepy.”

Hearing his sister’s indignant ‘hey!’ brought a smirk to his face.  The Princess smiled gently as well.  “Well I’m glad we’ve got that sorted out.  Now!  What say we get switched and you can get back to whatever it is you were doing before I messed things up for you hm?”

Alex just shrugged, looking back as his wings opened and closed with the motion.  “It’s uh, okay I guess.  I mean this is an easy fix, right?”

“It is!  In fact just to be safe, one of the little safeties in our mind switch is the reversal spell.  To find it simply turn your thoughts inward and focus specifically on the spell that will return us to normal.”

Alex nodded to the Princess, closing his eyes and focusing as she instructed.

***

Celestia turned to find Marissa chewing her thumb nervously.  “Is everything alright?”

The young woman nodded rapidly.  “O--oh yeah!  Yeah just fine.  Sorry I’m just… I was a little wound up about the whole idea.  In a good way of course!  But then this happens and Alex says I panic over every little thing way too easy and that’s probably what I’m doing right now.”

“Well try to relax.  Everything will be alright… though I must ask is there a reason your brother’s face is so sore?  It feels like I’ve been bucked by a mule right between the eyes.”

Marissa shrugged.  “More like punched by our dad right between the eyes.  He and Alex kinda… disagree on a lot.”

“My goodness.  And they come to blows over it?”

Marissa looked uncomfortable as she rubbed the back of her neck, avoiding eye contact.  “Dad was a military man.  Raised by a military man.  Very strict you know?  Men are men!  Women are women.  Guys like him see the world a certain way.  Anything that doesn’t really fit in with the way they think things should go they take a dislike to.  Alex is not exactly dad’s idea of a proper specimen of manhood.”

Celestia glanced down at the body she was borrowing curiously.  “Your brother seems male enough to me.”

“Right, well sure physically he’s all dude of course.  But Alex isn’t much into sports, didn’t want to follow in the family men’s footsteps and join the military.  He’s always been more into reading.  Pretty much anything he can get his hands on.”

Closing her eyes Celestia rummaged through the borrowed brain a little.  “My goodness he’s a very well read young man.  Science, history, art, music, mathematics… is there anything he doesn’t study?”

“Not really.  If there’s something he hasn’t studied up on, it’s just that he was too busy learning something else to get to it.  He’ll focus on a subject for a while before moving on.  He’s been big into astronomy lately.”

“Interesting.  It’s a shame that such a learned individual isn’t appreciated for his talents.”

“Well that’s the other problem with Alex.  He doesn’t really apply what he learns to anything.  He just finishes a subject and moves on to the next one.  He never does anything with all his knowledge.  If he’s not reading or wandering around the city like some kind of hobo, he’s sleeping.”

“Ah.  So he’s lazy.”

Marissa nodded firmly.  “Very.”

“Hm.”  Celestia leaned back in the surprisingly comfortable chair and examined her hands.  They certainly were strange appendages, a little like a griffons talons though without the claws.  She could certainly see how they’d be useful if one was lacking in magic however.  She was only a little shorter than she had been as her old self, and her spell helped both she and Alex maneuver about in their temporary bodies.

Turning to face the screen Celestia cleared her throat gently.  “Alex?  Are you still there?”

***

The second Alex focused his thoughts inward, they began to stray.  Juuuust a little.  Just one tiny little question had poked its way into his head.  ‘If she can do a spell that can switch the minds of two people from across dimensions… what other spells could she do?’

As it turned out, she could do a lot.

The single stray thought had brought about a startling reaction in his host body’s mind.  It was almost like a library had formed in his head, vast and never ending.  Row upon row of books stretching off seemingly forever.  Every one of these books he knew, held magical mysteries within just waiting to be unlocked.  

His ears swiveled back toward the crystal as his voice called for him.  Peeking an eye open he saw himself smiling patiently.  “Oh uh, sorry.  I’m here I got a little…”

“Lost in my head?  It’s not surprising.  It’s a rather large place after all.  Alex, I’m wondering if perhaps you would like to be me for the week?”

Alex’s “What?!” was echoed clearly by his sister.  “I… I can’t do that to Marissa.  She’s gotta be so excited about all this.  Besides I uh, don’t wanna be a mare.  No offense it’s just a little weird.”

Celestia… that was her name!  Celestia’s smile was understanding.  “I know it’s an unexpected change, but I think you might enjoy yourself.  And don’t worry about your sister, I’ll make sure she gets to see plenty of Equestria first hand when we switch back in a week.”

Alex looked down at his hooves, blowing a bit of the constantly flowing mane of hair out of his face.  “...I can’t deny a little part of me wants to learn about magic.  But I mean, I can't be a uh, a Princess.”  He made a face at how girly the title sounded.  “I’m more than a little unqualified for the job y’know?”

“Well I arranged for this week’s schedule to be practically empty.  There’s very, very little that you would actually have to do outside of sitting on my throne for the morning and early afternoon.  You might need to sign the occasional document but it’d be very little work.”

“Mmm.  What if I sign something to, I dunno, make it legal for ponies to eat each other or something?”

“Would you sign something like that?”

“No!  No I mean, of course not.  I guess what I mean is, I don’t know a lot about your kingdom’s rules or laws or whatever.  Don’t you think I might miss something important in the small print?”

“Ah!  I see.  Well not to worry there.  There’s exactly one pony in all of Equestria who’s aware of my vacation.  My personal aide and highly trained assistant Noteworthy.  She’ll be at your side nearly the entire duration of your stay.  She’s been with me for several years now and I trust her implicitly.  Even so, if there is an emergency you can always contact me through the crystal.  If you really feel the need, you can even cast the reversal spell.”

Alex idly lifted a foreleg, letting his hoof dangle at the end and giving it a small shake.  This was definitely a once in a lifetime opportunity.  He highly doubted he’d get the chance to travel to a magical, alternate world and essentially be in charge of it for a week.  Plus it would probably be a more comfortable week than crashing on his little sister’s floor.  “It might not be a great time, ma’am.  I’m sorta, uh, in-between places to live.”

His sister poked her head into view.  “Like I’m going to throw Princess Celestia out into the street, Alex!  She can stay with me this week, I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure Mariss?  You’re the huge pony fan.  I dunno if I feel okay taking this from you.”

Marissa waved her hand dismissively.  “It’s fine!  The Princess said I could see Equestria after she got back so it’s all good!  Just don’t burn down the kingdom when you raise the sun!”

“...raise the sun?”

Celestia took over for Marissa.  “Yes that would be your primary duty while you’re filling in for me.  Yet another little safety in the spell that will help us fit in.  You’ll have a sort of inner alarm clock wake you up when it’s time to raise the sun.  When it goes off the sun raising spell will push its way to the forefront of your mind.  All you have to do is let it do what it wishes.”

Alex glanced outside to the slowly rising moon.  “...uh… kay.  I guess I can do that.”

“So you’ll stay?”

Swinging his head from the crystal back to the mirror, Alex studied the large mare staring back at him.  “...it’s just for a week.  I’ll give it a try.”  He looked back to the crystal.  “And you’ll uh, take good care of my body?”

With an encouraging smile Celestia nodded.  “Like it was my own!”

“Okay.  Alright.  Well… I guess this is it then?”

Celestia nodded again.  “It is.  When you’re not alone, do your best to remain serene, poised, and polite.  Really everypony is so afraid of upsetting me that you’d have to REALLY act out of character for them to grow suspicious.  Have fun, Alex.  Good luck, and don’t hesitate to rely on Noteworthy or myself in an emergency.”

A flutter of nervousness was making Alex momentarily nauseous, but he fought it down.  “Well, have fun I guess.  I’ll see you in a week?”

He watched his own body smile and wave, before the crystal went dark.  “Jeez.  Guess I’m really doin’ this.”  The butterflies returned in his stomach as he stepped away from the crystal.  “It won’t be so bad.  She said it was gonna be an easy week.  I just have to play nice and I get to have a week long vacation pretty much doing nothing.  Can’t ask for more.”

Alex was grinning by the time he finished his reassurances.  Standing solidly on all four legs now he looked his borrowed body over more closely.  His coat of fur was a glossy snowy white color that shined in the brightening moonlight.  His mane and tail were a pastel multi-hued rainbow of colors, that always seemed to be flowing.  Which was a little distracting now that he was thinking about it.  Some kind of big necklace was around his neck, it seemed like it should be heavy but he barely noticed its presence.  Glittering golden shoes of some kind covered his hooves.

Much of his attention was on his new wings however.  Doing as he was told for the reversal spell, he closed his eyes and focused on the memory of how to use his wings.  Like reading a book at a rapid fire pace, the information unfurled almost instantly, pushing itself to the forefront of his mind.  He blinked his eyes open again and wobbled unsteadily from the momentary dizziness accompanied with such a large information dump.

Making his way over to the wide open bay windows leading to a beautiful stone balcony he stepped outside.  The cool night breeze running over his fur was a new, but pleasant sensation.  Focusing on his newly acquired knowledge of flight he spread his wings tentatively.  If having four legs and no hands was a weird feeling, spreading a massive pair of wings from his back was the weirdest so far, (he was doing his best to ignore the gender discrepancy).

The feel of the breeze over his feathers sent pleasant ticklish ripples through the new appendages and into his large, equine body.  It even brought forth a small laugh, (definitely not a giggle) at the feel.  Giving them an experimental flap, it was all he could do not to prance in place in excitement.  Learning magic was going to be cool, but so was flying.

Taking a deep breath he spread his wings wide at his sides, and crouched down preparing to leap into the air.  “You should probably get a running start first.”

Alex reared in alarm from the sudden voice speaking behind him.  “Sweet Celestia you scared the horse apples out of me!”  Then he blinked.  “...really?  Sweet me is a curse word?”

He got his first look at a native, non-Princess pony.  It was a unicorn judging by the horn peeking out of her semi-messy mane.  The mare’s coat was a glossy blue-black color, and her mane and tail a striking verdant green.  Her mane was pulled back in a loose ponytail, a few errant strands framing her face.  A pair of slender black framed glasses were perched on her nose.  The cutie mark of a sheaf of paper and a quill adorned both flanks.  

Alex cleared his throat as the pony stared at him.  “Oh um… hi there…”  He frowned.  Polite, poised, and proper.  “Good evening uh… my little pony.  Really?”

The unicorn mare just looked more amused as he fumbled.  “Miss Masters, I presume?”  She fully entered the room, closing the door behind herself.  Alex blinked as she did it without looking or touching it, her horn glowed a bright blue color then the door closed.

“Uh… yeah!  Yeah.  Alex Masters.  I guess you’re Noteworthy then?”

“I am.  Princess Celestia said she was trading places with a Marissa Masters, not Alex.”  She was regarding him with a frown now.”

Fidgeting in his hooves under the stare of the much smaller pony Alex offered a faint smile.  “Last minute change of plans?”

To his relief the mare snorted in exasperation.  “Why am I not surprised?  After all this was a fool proof plan concocted in the midst of one of her cake binges.  Truly it was perfectly thought out with no room for anything to go wrong.”  After a moment of silent fuming she took a deep breath, and a smile found its way to her muzzle.  “Well then, Alex Masters, welcome to Equestria.  I’ll be on hoof to make sure there are no huge catastrophes while you fill in for our immortal sun goddess.”

Alex’s eyes widened.  “Is she really a goddess?”

Noteworthy shrugged as she made herself comfortable on one of the plush cushions on the floor.  “Maybe?  Nopony knows for sure.  In olden times she and Princess Luna were certainly worshipped as deities.  Had big temples and everything.  After the whole Nightmare Moon thing though, Princess Celestia threw that whole system out the window.”

Alex had the feeling there was a story in there somewhere, but he didn’t want to pry too heavily.  “So you’re like my secretary?”

“No, I’m ‘like’ Princess Celestia’s personal hoofmaiden and aide.  My primary duty is to attempt to keep her on her schedule.  Some days I imagine it must be what the weather teams deal with when they try to herd a hurricane.  For a being as old as our world itself she has a tendency to act incredibly irresponsibly.  And for the next week it would be best to think of me as your babysitter.  I’m here to swat your nose and tell you ‘no’ if you start to misbehave.  Also I’m to tattle on you to the Princess if you really misbehave.”

Part of him was a little irked at the mare’s tone, but he had to admit… if someone all of a sudden was in the body of the person who kept his world going he’d be a little nervous around them too.  “Well don’t worry Noteworthy, I plan to keep a very low profile.  Whatever you say goes as far as I’m concerned this week.”

It was impossible to miss the pleased look on the pony’s face.  “W--well… that’s… very good to hear, Alex.  Did you have any questions for me specifically right now?”

“Weeeeeeell… can I go flying?”

***
Celestia amused herself probably longer than she should have with the chair she was in.  But honestly who wouldn’t have fun in a chair that spins around like the one her human body presently occupied.  About the sixtieth rotation she started to realize Marissa had been staring at her silently the entire time.  Planting her feet solidly on the floor she abruptly stopped her spinning and cleared her throat.  “Well.  I suppose we’re siblings for the week hm?”

“You’re kind of silly aren’t you?”

Smiling playfully the Princess rose from her chair, getting a feel for her new human body.  The legs weren’t much shorter than her normal ones, though only two of them felt odd.  Her arms hung rather uselessly at her sides she felt, and had her hands folded behind her back just to give them something to do.  “Sometimes.  Where’s the fun in being serious all the time?”

“Well… Earth isn’t Equestria.  We’re a lot more serious here.  I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this, but as far as everyone here is concerned you don’t exist.  So telling people who you are is kind of out of the question.  They’d think my brother went nuts.”

Sensing that the young woman was worried Celestia retook her seat and arranged her smile to the more serene one she wore around her subjects.  “I understand.  I promise I won’t do anything to get your brother into trouble.  In fact I plan to do very little of anything.  Maybe tour your lovely city a little.  I’m very interested in trying as many different foods as I can.  Especially sweets from your world.”

Marissa cracked a smile finally.  “So that article in the Foal Free Press….”

Celestia’s cheeks reddened.  “I don’t know how that colt even got that picture!  And those fillies… ooo if their sister’s weren’t the Elements of Harmony they’d have spent a week as a trio of frogs.”

“Would you really have done that?”  

“Probably.  Something unpleasant at the very least.  I can take a joke as well as anypony but that was a bit too far. I want my subjects to be comfortable around me, but that was very disrespectful.”

“...so you were really going to town on that much cake?”

Celestia cleared her throat abruptly.  “And speaking of cake!  I believe I’m hungry.  So, Marrisa Masters, official representative of humanity to the Princess of the Sun.  What do you recommend for my first human meal?”

Marissa rubbed the back of her neck.  “I… was probably gonna go to Wendy’s?”

Celestia was on her feet in a flash again.  “Wonderful!  What sorts of dishes does Wendy specialize in?”

Marissa tugged off her shoes and started to change into her everyday clothes.  The Princess was watching her expectantly.  “...Wendy’s is the name of a restaurant.  Can I have a little privacy?”

The Princess blinked at that.  “Oh!  Of course, the nudity taboo.  That’s going to take some getting used to.”  Shuffling over to the corner she dutifully kept her strange little human nose in it.  “So what sorts of dishes do they serve?”

“Eh, mostly burgers, fries, some chicken.  Oh jeez, you’re vegetarian aren’t you?”

“Actually that’s a common misconception many of you seem to have about equines in general.  While we tend to eat fruit and vegetables more than anything, we’re perfectly capable of digesting meat.  We just find other foods tastier.  While I’m human however I plan to fully immerse myself in what your people eat so… if my diet will be primarily carnivorous this week, so be it.”

Marissa tossed her slacks and blouse in the corner, tugging on a t-shirt and jeans.  “You can turn around.  And we don’t have to eat just meat, it’s just what I usually eat.  My roommates are huge mooches so if I keep food in the apartment they just swarm it like locusts.”

“Aha.  Well then we shall dine out this week, for every meal if you like.  My treat.”

Briefly glancing at her phone for any missed messages, Marissa looked up with raised eyebrows.  “How exactly do you plan to pay for anything?”

Celestia reached into her back pocket and produced a platinum visa card.  “I opened a bank account and had a small pile of bits converted into dollars.  The exchange rate on gold is surprisingly favorable.”

“You… how did you open a bank account when you weren’t even on Earth yet?”

It was Celestia’s turn to raise her brows.  “Magic of course.  I simply convinced the nice human at the bank that I was sitting in the chair across from him.  It’s all very simple stuff.”

“Uh huh.  So how much did you set up for yourself?”

“Well I wanted to be safe so I transferred ten thousand bits.  It equated to one and a half million dollars.”

Marissa’s eyes bugged out of her head.  “A… a million dollars?!”

“Well a million and a half.”

The young woman put a hand to her chest, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths.  “Hoo.  Okay.  Okay I’m good.  Well.  The good news is you probably couldn’t spend all that money in a week unless you tried really hard.  I guess with that kinda cash you can pretty much do whatever you want this week huh?”

A sudden loud banging from the door drew the pair’s attention.  “Hey Mariss!  I’m having my boyfriend over!  Kelly’s staying with her guy for the night so uh, can you get lost?”

Celestia took a step further from Marissa as the woman’s face turned an alarming shade of red rather quickly.  “Can you believe that?!  Get lost!  I pay for most everything in this crap hole and she’s telling ME to get lost?!”

“Hm.”  Celestia pocketed her card again.  “It occurs to me that perhaps we would have a more enjoyable week staying someplace… other than here.  How about we find the nicest lodgings in the city.  This is New York after all!  With all I’ve read about the sights and places I want to see the best of the best!”

Marissa looked from her bedroom door, back to the Princess in her brother’s body.  “You know what?  I deserve a little ‘me’ time too.  Since that putz gets to have my Equestria vacation, I’ll take one for myself right here in the city.  I’ve never done half the touristy stuff everyone comes here to do and I’ve lived here all my life.”

The Princess waited patiently as Marissa packed a bag.  She called work taking some ‘vacation days’, (something Celestia noted she would have to incorporate into Equestria when she got back).  Finally she stood, hefted her suitcase and got the door.  “After you, your highness.”

With a little grin Celestia curtsied.  “Thank you, Lady Masters.  So polite.”

The two shared a laugh as they walked by Marissa’s staring roommate.  “I’ll be gone all week.  You and Kelly better not burn the place down while I’m gone.”

The short blonde girl’s eyes widened at the announcement.  “What?  But we’re like, completely out of food.  Aren’t you gonna get groceries before you go?”

Marissa actually stopped and stared a little dumbfounded at the idiot’s audacity, before just storming out without another word.  Celestia followed her downstairs silently, just taking in all the sights as she went.  The inside of the apartment building wasn’t terribly exciting but it was somehow better than focusing on the angry woman.  

“I’m so finding my own place when this week is up.”

***
“Ah ha ha ha!”  Alex pumped his wings hard, the massive feathery appendages carrying him higher and higher into the air.  Closing his eyes he pushed his way through the canopy of clouds in the sky, shaking the accumulated rain water from his coat as he emerged on the other side.  

“This is the greatest day of my life!”  With one more heavy flap he flipped over in the air and allowed himself to fall backwards into the clouds, landing with a springy sensation on the suddenly solid puffy white mass.  Rolling about and laughing wildly he relished the sensation of laying on the clouds.  That was a morsel of information he hadn’t quite believed when his brain was teaching him how to fly.  Walking on clouds.  This place was awesome.

“Goodness, sister, I do not recall a time when I have seen you so… exuberant.”

Alex froze in his night time frollicing at the new voice.  Lifting his head slowly he had to stifle a gasp at the pony standing calmly on the clouds before him.  She was only a little smaller than he was, standing much taller than a normal pony.  Her coat was a deeper blue than Noteworthy’s, and her mane and tail even darker.  Their most striking feature of course being the glittering stars within the rippling depths.  

“I assume you are well this evening then, Tia?”

“Uhhhh….”  ‘Oh crap!  Oh crap!  She has a sister?!  Okay!  Okay I can do this!  Just focus… focus...’  He focused hard on Celestia’s ‘sister’.  He had expected the same rush of information he’d received when he’d focused on flying.

What he did not expect was the colossal volume of information unfolding in his mind.  Celestia and… Luna.  Lulu,  Little Moon.  They’d existed since the beginning of the world, side by side.  They did everything together.  They made their first home in a large cave.  The primitive ponies who discovered them erected shrines in their honor once they realized these two were responsible for the sun and moon appearing each day and night.

Century after century they existed.  Sometimes in the open, other times they would aid their beloved people from behind the scenes.  Thousands upon thousands of years, side by side.  Then all at once… he felt the most crippling, soul crushing loneliness.  The most unexpected of betrayals, and the most painful heartbreaking guilt as he… as she, she… not he… as Celestia was forced to banish her sister. 

After that was the darkest time Celestia had ever known.  A thousand years without her beloved Luna beside her.  A thousand years of solitude.  Her subjects adored and loved her more than ever, but all their warmth went unfelt by the Princess.  The days were hollow, the nights filled with her heart wrenching sobs.  Raising the moon only drove the dagger deeper into her heart as she felt Luna’s presence sealed within.

Alex lifted his suddenly tear filled eyes to meet the younger Princess’ confused gaze.  “Celestia?  What is it?  What’s wrong?  Are you unwe- oh!”  She exclaimed in surprise at the sudden nearly crushing embrace Alex gripped her in.  

He wasn’t entirely sure why he was hugging this stranger.  He’d only just met her hadn’t he?  This wasn’t HIS pain and sadness he was feeling, but Celestia’s.  Even knowing that, it was impossible to ignore.  Throwing his forelegs around her neck he hugged Luna close.  The smaller alicorn’s tension eased gradually and she returned the embrace, resting her chin against Alex’s back.  

“I just… missed you is all.”

Luna lifted her head and stepped back.  “Missed me?  I saw you scarcely an hour ago!”

Sniffing loudly he wiped his eyes, pushing the tears away.  “I… right.  Sorry I was just… remembering.”

Understanding filled Luna’s eyes.  “Oh.  Yes of course.”  She smiled again.  “Well, I am here now Tia.  And I am not going anywhere ever again.”  Her smile turned playful.  “Honestly at times I wonder which of us is the baby sister the way you carry on sometimes.”

Alex chuckled weakly, nodding.  “Yeah.  Sorry…”

“It is very late is it not?  What are you doing flying about so late?  Is something amiss?”

“Uhhh…. no!  No nothing’s wrong I just… felt like flying is all.”

“I see.”  Luna eyed Alex for a long minute and he flexed his wings nervously.  Did she suspect?  Should he just come clean?  “Well!  Perhaps I will join you.  It has been quite sometime since I flew simply to enjoy the sensation of flying.  Shall we make a race of it?”

Alex scuffed a hoof.  “Oh… I dunno about that.”  He casually strolled to the edge of the cloud.  “Since you’ll never beat me!”  He sprang away at that, rushing into the air and ignoring the indignant shout from Luna.  

This really was going to be a good week.  		

	
	
	
> Day 1: A Great and Powerful Problem
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 1: A Great and Powerful Problem

Marissa was wide awake just after the sun had began to shine through the curtains of the penthouse suite Princess Celestia had rented for the two of them.  Crossing her room to the adjoining door she peeked in to check on the Princess currently living in her brother’s body.  Apparently she was still sleeping, one arm flung over her face and mouth hanging wide open with a rather unflattering trail of drool running from the corner of her mouth.

“Yeesh.”  Carefully closing the door again she ran a hand through her hair dialing up room service for breakfast.  She’d seen her brother asleep plenty of the time, and he never looked like that.  That was all Celestia.  Marissa giggled a little, imagining the princess in her OWN body laying about in such a ridiculous state.  

Settling back on her bed she flipped through the menu and eyed the various meal options.  One was a large breakfast platter consisting of pancakes, eggs, sausage, toast, bacon, and three different juices.  Deciding to err on the side of caution the ordered the huge platter.  No doubt Celestia would be up and ready to eat sooner or later.

Breakfast came.  Marissa ate.  Then took a shower.  Then watched a little TV.  Looking over at the clock she frowned seeing it was already ten o’clock.  Her eyes drifted toward Celestia’s door.  ‘Should I wake her up?  Or let her sleep?  She IS on vacation.  But she said she wanted to do sight seeing and stuff...’

Several times she got off the bed and walked to the door, stopping before she opened it.  Huffing a little she walked back to her bed.  “This is stupid.  It’s my vacation now too.  I should just go make her get up.”  Her face fell a little.  “Go make the immortal sun goddess get up.”  Abruptly she gave a firm nod.  “That’s it.  I’m waking her up.”  

Walking back to the Princess’ door with purpose in her stride, she shrieked aloud when it burst open and Celestia bounded out evidently wide awake and grinning ear to ear.  “Good morning, Marissa!  Something smells good!”

Marissa followed Celestia with her eyes as she stalked over to the now stone cold tray of food.  “Uh… we can ask the kitchen to heat it up or something?”

With a dismissive wave Celestia sat at the table in the kitchenette loading up a plate with a nearly alarming amount of food.  Vaguely Marissa wondered why she didn’t just move the platters from the tray onto the table and eat right from those, but she wasn’t about to critique Celestia’s dining habits out loud.  “I think there’s a microwave in the kitchen at the very least, Princess…”

Celestia looked from the food before her than up to Marissa with a look on her face that very much said ‘leave me alone I want to eat.’  Still a little curiosity glinted in her eyes.  “What’s a microwave?”

“Oh!  Duh.  Hah, sorry.  It’s sort of like an oven but it heats things up in a couple minutes instead of an hour or whatever.”  Delicately claiming the dish over flowing with breakfast foods from the nearly salivating Princess, Marissa moved it to the large microwave oven followed closely by Celestia.  A few quick taps of the buttons and the machine was humming merrily as it heated the food.

The look of childlike wonder on Celestia’s face was priceless, and Marissa had a hard time suppressing an ‘awww’ when she pressed her face to the little viewing window.  “That’s amazing!  And it heats it in only two minutes?!  Really if I didn’t know better I’d say your world is as magical as mine.”

Now Marissa did laugh softly as she leaned on the counter.  “It’s one hundred percent science I promise.  I dunno how it works exactly.  Alex probly does, come to think of it.  He knows like everything about everything really.”

Celestia leaned away from the microwave, closing her eyes as a brief look of concentration crossed her face.  “Oh.  It uses microwaves.  Hence the name.  That’s clever.”

“Right you can rummage around in his memories.  You’re not gonna dig up like… personal stuff right?”

“No, of course not.”  When the microwave dinged Celestia smoothly opened the door retrieving her plate.  Her eyes widened almost immediately.  “It’s hot!”

Marissa laughed as Celestia rushed it to the table, hastily setting the plate down and blowing on her fingers.  “Right, that’s what the microwave does.”

With an indignant little huff toward Marissa, Celestia settled in to enjoy her meal.  Marissa could only watch for a few seconds before she had to look away.  There’s no way she was such a pig in Equestria… right?

***

A small jolt ran through Alex’s horn and to the rest of his body as he jerked upright in bed with a soft grunt.  Blinking in momentary confusion he glanced around the spacious royal bed chambers of Princess Celestia.  “Guess I didn’t dream last night.”

It took a little work to get himself up and out of the ridiculously large bed.  Even for his huge equine body it still felt like three king sized beds mashed together into like… a triple king sized bed or something.  In the night he’d wound up rolling toward the exact center nestled comfortably between what must be like a billion thread count silk sheets.  “Wonder if she’ll let me take these home…”

A small tingling had been building in the back of his head, demanding his attention as he climbed out of bed.  Focusing on it for a second caused the sun raising spell to unfold into the forefront of his mind.  Going a little cross-eyed for a second as the incredibly complex equations unraveled in his head he blinked to get his vision right again.  Stepping out onto the balcony he looked out to the eastern horizon.  Keeping the magical equations in his mental focus he just followed the mental instructions allowing the magic to well up in his core and out through his horn.

He wasn’t sure how to describe the sensation of magically connecting with Equestria’s sun.  He suddenly felt very, very small as the power within him reached out and touched the source of life for the entire world he was standing on.  Eyes wider and wondering he stared to the east as colors began to splash across the sky and the sun slowly rose into view.  “Wow.”

“Not a bad first sunrise at all, Miss Masters.”

Alex’s ears swiveled toward Noteworthy’s voice as the mare let herself into his room.  “Yeah?  I did okay?”

“Absolutely.  The sun’s rising and Equestria isn’t aflame.  I’d say that was a good first morning.”

Smiling now Alex turned from the rising sun to give his temporary assistant his full attention.  “So!  What’s on my agenda?  Do I have to do Princess stuff or can I find the library and start reading?”

Seeming to be pleased with Alex’s positive attitude Noteworthy’s own was perking up.  “Well!  First you’ll have a bath, then breakfast.  After that you should move to the throne room for the day court.  As Princess Celestia told you, it should be very slow your entire visit.  There might be the occasional petitioner or noble to deal with, but it should all be simple matters.  If something seems too big for you, just tell them you need a few moments to deliberate on it.  You can contact the Princess and ask for her advice at that time.”

Alex was nodding as the mare spoke.  “Sounds like a plan.  Bathroom is this way right?”  He indicated an archway with his wing.

“It is!  The servants should have the water hot and ready by now.”

“Oh right, royalty now.  Heh, okay that’s cool.  Lead me to the bath Noteworthy!”  Noting the less than pleased look on the mare’s face he hastily back tracked.  “Sorry… joking, joking.  Really.”

Her stony expression softened into a faint smile.  “It’s alright.  This way, Princess.”

Alex followed the small unicorn into the other room.  He’d come into the bathroom in the evening to do some (very awkward) toilet related business.  Having to wipe his new female anatomy, with hooves no less, was one adventure he wasn’t incredibly eager to relive.  Really, that would have been almost as helpful an info nugget at the sun raising spell.  

During the day the royal bathroom was significantly more grandiose.  It might be that he wasn’t racing to the toilet after holding it in so long he was about to explode, or that the sunlight filtering through the windows was providing better illumination.  But the olympic sized pool of a tub had steam wafting off the water, some kind of flower petals already floating in the water giving off a wonderfully aromatic scent.

Gingerly Alex placed one forehoof, then the other into the water as he slowly lowered his body into the bath. He was passingly familiar with the sensation of wet fur after his late night escapades in the clouds last night, but sinking into the steaming hot bath felt surprisingly luxurious.  Releasing a heavy sigh he settled on his belly on the floor of the tub, so only his head was still above water.  “This is nice.”

“So glad you approve, Princess.”

“Yah-ha-ha-ha-ha!”  Alex yelp slash whinnied at the two female voices who piped up from either side of the tub, speaking in unison.  The creepy factor only increased as he noted they were identical twins.  A pair of seafoam green coated mares with swirling, deep blue manes and tails smiled at him from either side.  Closer examination revealed one had horns, while the other had wings.  So nearly identical then.

“Oh!  Princess we are so sorry!”  Alex’s head swiveled to the unicorn.  “We didn’t mean to startle you.”  Then over to the pegasus as she spoke.  Both had a faint hint of laughter in their voices however.

“It’s uh… it’s alright uh…”

Noteworthy cleared her throat.  “Shampoo!  Conditioner!  How many times have I told you not to slink around in the steam.  You know how drowsy Princess Celestia is when she first wakes up.”

Alex looked to Noteworthy and mouthed ‘Really?’  at the revelation of the bath maiden’s names.  Both mares tittered soft giggles.  “We are ever so sorry Princess.”  Alex was about to tell the pegasus, Shampoo it was alright when her sister spoke up.  “Please accept our deepest apologies.”

Taking a moment to compose himself he plastered a small smile on his face.  “It’s alright ladies.  No harm done hm?”  A small flash unraveled in his mind.  “Though I’ll remember this when April Foal’s Day comes around.”  

Both mares’ eyes widened a little and their bodies went rigid.  For such a polite, proper, and prim Princess pony Celestia had an alarming number of potential practical joke and prank ideas rattling around in her head.  And apparently she made mental notes of every pony who earned her joke based ire over the year.  “Sh-shall we get to work then, Princess?”

Feeling a small amount of satisfaction for the small amount of revenge, Alex looked toward Noteworthy who nodded imperceptibly.  “You may, ladies.”

He wasn’t completely sure what to expect.  Shampoo went to work as her namesake might suggest, and got started on working a sweet smelling shampoo through his mane.  Conditioner nudged at Alex’s left wing prompting him to fan it open wide.  He started slightly as she began to nibble and tug at the feathers.  She was… preening his wings his mind told him.  It felt a little weird at first, but once he relaxed it started to feel more than a little pleasant.  

With a heavy sigh his head sank a little lower, prompting his attendants to giggle again.  “Princess, you’d sleep the day away if poor Noteworthy weren’t here to rouse you.”  Shampoo commented.  Her sister spoke up next.  “Or for us to properly prepare you for the day.”

“Uh huh…”  He was feeling so good right now he had trouble forming a more coherent response.  His stomach growled audibly suddenly, and a very tantalizing scent tickled his nostrils.  Without thinking he opened his mouth and scooped a mouthful of flower petals in, chewing them happily.  They had a very unique, almost fruity taste that burst to life on his tongue.

“Princess, you do love your lotus petals.”  The pony working on Alex’s wings moved to the other.  “It was an excellent idea of Noteworthy’s to have a snack on hoof for you while you waited for breakfast.”

Alex started working his way slowly along the tub scooping up as many of the sweet flower petals as he could.  His bath attendants following along patiently performing their duties as if this were a daily routine.  And judging by what he was hearing of Princess Celestia, it very well may be.  

Soon his coat, mane, and tail had been thoroughly cleaned and rinsed out.  His wings were feeling surprisingly refreshed.  He hadn’t even noticed they weren’t in pristine condition until the sister’s went to work over him.  Slowly climbing out of the tub he stood feeling a little silly as Shampoo magically dried him with a towel.  Both mares bowed low and retreated from the room.  

Shaking his mane out a little he spread his wings slowly before turning to look at Noteworthy.  “How’d I do?”

“Very well in fact.  If you had demanded a pastry or two while in the tub I’d never know you weren’t the real Celestia.”

His stomach again made it’s presence known.  “Speaking off…”

Laughing lightly Noteworthy nodded.  “Of course, Princess.  Right this way.”  

Alex followed his aide from the bathroom and out into the palace proper.  Every pony he passed from the servants to the armor clad guardsponies had a polite greeting for him.  One he returned with a smile and a nod as often as he could.  

He kept close to Noteworthy as she guided him through the palace.  At first it seemed like some sort of impossible to navigate labyrinth  but the longer he followed the little mare the more confident his steps became.  Soon he was the one walking at the front, with Noteworthy falling in at his side.  A pair of servants hastily opened the dining room doors as Alex approach, both of whom he thanked.

The dining hall like everything else in the palace was enormous.  A table large enough to seat at least fifty ponies was heavily laden with enough food that he imagined it could feed that number as well.  Glancing about and finding himself alone with Noteworthy he lowered himself to the head of the table eyeing the spread.  “Are we early?”

“Ah… no.  Princess Celestia has an incredibly healthy appetite.  Raising the sun alone requires a massive amount of magical energy.  A unicorn’s magic will replenish on its own over time but…”

Alex received another flash of recognition.  “...but caloric intake speeds it up?  Interesting.  So basically you burn calories by casting spells?  I guess that’s how Celestia can eat so much and not weigh a thousand pounds.”

He was rewarded with a genuinely warm laugh from Noteworthy.  “Oh goodness!  You’d think right?!  But no, she’ll go on these huge cake benders and put on like twenty pounds!  And whose fault do you think that is?”

Feeling the levitation spell unfolding easily in his head he drifted a small pile of pancakes to his plate dolloping some syrup atop them.  “No way.”

The other mare nodded as she sat down at Alex’s left.  “Oh yes.”  She cleared her throat affecting a tone of voice similar to the one Alex had.  “Noteworthy!  Look at this cake flank!  You let me binge again!”  Noteworthy rolled her eyes.  “As if she listens to me about anything.”

Using a knife and fork with magic was shockingly entertaining, but he managed to focus on the conversation at the same time.  “Is it really that bad?”

His aide sighed softly as she helped herself to a donut.  “Not that bad.  But it’s not easy being Princess Celestia’s personal assistant.  The Princess loves Equestria.  She loves her subjects dearly and is always on the lookout for way to improve life in the Kingdom.  That being said… the Princess has a tendency to… wander.  She loathes paperwork of any kind.  She’ll raise the sun then try to go back to bed.  Some mornings I have to actually levitate her out of bed and into the tub.  After she inhales her breakfast and sits through the day court she tries to sneak off to the gardens or out into the city.

“And who has to chase her down?  Who has to sit her down and make her do her paperwork hm?  Is it her sister?  Oh no.  Princess Luna, bless her heart, has her own duties.  And she’s so diligent!  Reports always filled out and filed on time.  She attends the night court which has been growing in popularity a good deal lately.  Then once her work is finished she’s free to do whatever she likes with her evening.  Oh what I’d give to trade jobs with Night Shift.  Now that’s one lucky stallion.”

Throughout the entirety of her rant Noteworthy had been almost violently attacking the plate of donuts, eating one after the other.  “And her little pranks!  They’re harmless enough MOST of the time!  But when she thinks it’ll be funny to turn the floor to ice in the kitchens and the royal chef spills hundreds of bits worth of rare and expensive imported spices all over the floors, who has to fill out those budget reports?  Who has to fill our requisition requests?  It’s not Celestia.  It’s Noteworthy!”

By now Alex had stopped eating and was staring silently as the smaller mare worked herself up more and more.  “Oh, Noteworthy, this is an easy little thing.  I trust you to take care of it.  Oh, Noteworthy, would you mind running to Donut Joe’s for some of those jelly donuts.”  Blowing a heavy breath through her nostrils Noteworthy crushed the donut she was in the midst of eating with her magic into a tiny ball.  “I attended Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, you know?  I graduated near the top of my class with honors!  And this is what I’m doing with my life.  Cleaning up after the world’s oldest filly and running into the city to buy her snacks!”

Noteworthy’s sides were heaving as she sucked in deep breaths of air by the time she’d finished.  Alex waited a long moment before speaking softly.  “...feel better?”

A sudden grin split the mare’s face as she barked a short laugh.  “I do!  Oh my goodness I’ve been bottling this up for so long.  I mean you can’t say these kinds of things about the Princess to anypony in Equestria.  They’d think I’d gone mad.  But you’re, you know… a stranger.  You don’t have the same awe everypony has for her.  Well, everypony who doesn’t know her has for her.”

Taking a sip of his orange juice Alex resumed his meal.  “Well, maybe this week could be a vacation for you too?”

Noteworthy eyed him curiously.  “How do you figure?”

Alex shrugged.  “Well I’m not about to run around pulling any pranks on the ponies here.  I’m definitely not going to be sending you into the city to buy me snacks.  Why in the world wouldn’t I just go myself?  Plus if there’s paperwork to do I can sit at a desk and sign my name on some stuff.  Uh… it’s not much paperwork is it?”

“No!  That’s the worst of it!  It’d take her maybe an hour tops if she’d just sit still and do it. Instead she comes up with any excuse at all to wiggle out of it.”

Coughing uncomfortably Alex hid his sudden discomfort by taking another bite of his pancakes.  That was sounding a little too close to home for comfort.  It was with some surprise he realized he’d eaten maybe thrice his usual amount in one sitting by the time he’d felt full enough to call it done.  “Well.  I do this day court thing.  Do an hour of paperwork, then I get the rest of the day to myself yeah?”

“That’s right.  Oh, a whole week of a Princess doing the ‘un fun’ part of her job without my badgering.  This WILL be a vacation.”

Alex’s smile was back full force.  “Alright then Noteworthy.  It’s time for court I believe.”

His aide’s smile matched his own.  “Right this way Princess.”

***

“...this is so weird.”

Celestia admired herself in the mirrors outside the dressing room.  “It’s not ‘weird’.  Just because I’m not quite in the body I was expecting doesn’t mean I have to trudge through this week dressed in those baggy rags your brother insists on wearing.”  

The two were in the middle of Manhattan’s upper crust shopping district at.  Celestia had been trying on Armani silk suits for the past half hour.  “I think this is the one.”

Marissa had to admit he brother had never looked better.  She wanted to stick up for him but just about every one of Alex’s t-shirts was minimum five years old.  His jeans just as bad, and most had been showing their wear and tear.  Seeing him standing there adjusting the suit and eyeing himself in the mirror, she could actually imagine he was a real adult.  

“You know most people don’t wear several thousand dollar suits out and about for a day on the town.”

Celestia flashed a toothy grin.  “Most people probably aren’t magical interdimensional princesses with massive amounts of funding at their fingertips.”

“Fingertips.  Way to pick up the lingo.”

Celestia wore her new suit up to the counter, handing the clerk her card.  “I familiarized myself on the taxi ride over.”

Marissa choked a little as the price for the suit flashed across the register, but Celestia didn’t bat an eye.  She thanked the man for his help, pocketed her card and stepped out with Marissa.  “So!  Where to now?”

“Well, we’re in Manhattan already.  We could check out the museum of modern art I guess?  Maybe do lunch after?”

“Sounds like we have a plan!  I’ve made an entire list of things I want to do while I’m here.”

Marissa smiled.  “Yeah?  Let’s have a look.”

The pair made their way down the street, content to walk to their destination.  Celestia fished about in a pocket before withdrawing a slip of paper.  “Here we are.”

Marissa took the list with a small smile as she looked it over.  “See the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, visit Central Park… okay those are all really doable.  See a Broadway show.  With your big budget we could probably see a few.  Lots of food you wanna try, huh?”  

Celestia offered a sheepish smile.  “I like to eat.”

“Oh I noticed.”  The young woman went back to the list.  “Drive a car?  We might be able to arrange that… I… this can’t be right.”

“Which one?”

“Under… under drive a car.”

Celestia peered down at the list.  “No, that’s right.”

Grabbing Celestia’s arm, Marissa tugged her off the sidewalk into an alley.  “It says you want to have ‘sex as a human’!?”

Celestia’s eyebrows rose at Marissa’s tone.  “Is that a problem?”

“I… w--well I mean… yeah!  You can’t just… sleep with some stranger!”

Now the Princess tilted her head in confusion.  “I was under the impression your people typically did so.  Generally after becoming heavily intoxicated at a bar.”

“W--well yes that does happen but it’s not normal!”

“Marissa, I think you’re overreacting just a bit.”

“I… wh-what if you got some girl pregnant huh?  What if you had switched with me and gotten me pregnant?!”

Celestia rolled her eyes.  “I know where babies come from Marissa.  When sunshine and moonbeams meet overhead in the sky they give some lucky mare a foal all of their own.”

Marissa’s eyes boggled and her mouth fell wide open.

“Gotcha.”  Celestia winked.  “Of course I know about contraception Marissa.  And one of the spells I added into the swap was to ensure there would be no ‘accidental’ pregnancies on either end.”

“On either… you thought I would be sleeping with a stallion?!”

Celestia shrugged.  “Or a mare.  I don’t presume to tell anyone who they can and can’t find happiness with.”

Marissa gnawed on her lip as she stared at Celestia.  “...how can you be so blase about sleeping with some stranger?”

Resting a hand on Marissa’s shoulder, Celestia guided her out of the alley and back onto the sidewalk resuming their trek.  “You’re familiar with the television program, so you know that Luna and I are extremely long lived, yes?”

Slowly the woman nodded.  “Sure…”

“When King Eternum and Queen Galaxia created Equestria, they created us.  Luna and I have existed since the dawn of time for our world.  Many thousands of years.  Do you understand?”

Again Marissa could only nod.  “Yes ma’am.”

“Well.  When someone lives for such a long time it becomes… difficult to form attachments.  Friendships and romantic relationships are fleeting things for immortal beings such as myself.  I’ve had a husband or two, a wife, several children.  It is a very difficult thing for a mother to see her own children grow old and die as she remains static… unchanging for eternity.”

“They weren’t um… alicorns like you?”

Celestia’s shook her head.  “No.  In a very real sense we’re as close to divinity as a pony can come.  I don’t know all and see all of course, but I am immensely powerful.  So much power can only be wielded by a very specific sort of individual.  None of my children… proved worthy.”  She paused in her speaking to swallow a lump forming in her throat.  

“Princess, I’m so sorry…”

“Thank you for your kindness, Marissa.  I look back fondly on my time with my family but I long ago realized that forming long lasting romantic relationships only opened myself up for great pain.  Pain I no longer wish to endure.  And so from time to time I’ll disguise myself as an ordinary mare and venture into the city to find a partner for the evening.”

Marissa shook her head slowly.  “Just… thinking about Princess Celestia trolling Canterlot for late night booty calls is so… so… dirty.”

Celestia laughed at that.  “Marissa, just because I’m an ageless princess doesn’t mean I don’t have needs from time to time.”

“And now you want to do that with my brother’s body… I dunno how he’d feel about that.”

“Fair enough.  Does Alex have a girlfriend?”

“Uh, no.  Alex is kind of a loner.  He does his volunteer work, and he reads.  That’s about it.”

“Alright.  Then I’ll meet a nice girl at one of your bars.  That can wait however, there are plenty of other things I want to do as well of course.”

Marissa just sighed eyeing the list again.  This might be a bit more of a stressful week than she was expecting.

***

Alex shifted uncomfortably in the throne.  It’s not that the throne itself was uncomfortable.  But it was a really big throne.  And the throne room itself had these enormous stain glass windows depicting heroic moments in Equestrian history.  It was a little intimidating being in charge of a whole kingdom.  All of it was starting to hit home as he sat upon the massive seat looking out over the room.

He did feel a little more comfortable with Noteworthy dutifully standing off to the side of the raised dais his throne sat upon.  The morning had been going smoothly as well.  One of the guards had reported his partner missing from their morning patrol, and Alex’s first royal decree had been to have somepony ‘find him’.  An hour later he was found sleeping out behind the barracks apparently.  

Honestly it had been pretty boring.  Initially he was stressing about having to sit there and make these big decisions for a foreign, magical kingdom but Celestia hadn’t been exaggerating when she promised it would be a slow week.  “How much longer is court going to be open, Noteworthy?”

Noteworthy smoothly levitated a pocket watch from the breast pocket of her blouse.  “Fifteen minutes, Princess.  We can probably call it an early day if you like?”

Alex nodded.  “Sure.  It doesn’t seem like anypony else is coming by.”

At that precise moment the doors swung open startling the pair of mares.  Vigilant Watcher, the recently appointed Captain of the Guard trotted in with a pony mare trailing behind him, her head lowered.  “Princess Celestia, I apologize for the sudden entrance but a matter that requires your immediate attention has come up.”

Alex had to fight down a sudden onset of nerves.  This is exactly what he didn't want happening.  Still he had a role to play.  He forced his face to remain pristine and unchanged.  “Oh?  What is this matter, Captain?”

The burly unicorn stepped aside thrusting the mare behind him forward.  Alex got his first good look at her as she stumbled and tripped over her shackled forelegs.  She hit the floor with a grunt.  The mare had a pale, almost icy blue coat with a striking silvery colored mane and tail.  A horn peeked through the front of her mane, but it had an odd metallic ring settled around it.  Focusing on the ring an image formed in his mind.  It was a dampening ring, used to make a unicorn prisoner’s magic inoperable.

“Captain, why is she shackled?  Surely the dampener is enough?”

Vigilant grunted loudly in response.  “You’d think so, but no.  She pulled some kind of flash power out of her cloak when we apprehended her, blinded a few of us and made a run for it.  Dunno if she has anymore tricks and we didn’t want to take any chances.”

“I see.  Well who is she that’s caused so much trouble then?”

Alex caught the flash of concern on Noteworthy’s face a moment too late.  Vigilant narrowed his eyes in confusion as he regarded his diarch.  “She’s Trixie Lulumoon, Princess.  The mare who terrorized Ponyville with the alicorn amulet?  You personally instructed us to apprehend her and bring her to the castle.”

To his credit Alex did an amazing job holding his composure.  “Oh!  Oh yes of course… I just didn’t recognize her…”  The name brought memories and images.  A young unicorn filly enrolled in Celetia’s prestigious academy.  Forced to drop out because her parents couldn’t afford the tuition.  She learned stage magic from her grandfather and took up his mantle as a travelling performer.  “...without her cloak and hat.  They’re quite distinctive after all.”

The Captain seemed to accept this explanation and relaxed.  “Yes well, as I said she pulled a fast one on us and we felt it safe to relieve her of her belongings before bringing her before you.”

“Well she’s here now, Captain.  Thank you.  I’ll send for you if necessary.”

Seemingly wanting to protest, but recognizing Celestia’s ‘stern’ tone of voice the captain bowed his head and backed from the throne room.  The mare still prone on the floor flinched as the doors slammed shut.  Alex looked from the shivering Trixie to a concerned looking Noteworthy at his side.  He leaned in close dropping his voice to a whisper.  “What do I do?”

Noteworthy shuffled closer to Alex, keeping her eyes on Trixie.  “Did the Princess’ memories tell you her crimes?”

Alex nodded slowly.  “The super powerful amulet thing she used to rule over Ponyville for a day right?”  At Noteworthy’s nod he ruffled his wings.  “So… what’s the usual punishment here?”

Now his aide was frowning.  “Well… Princess Celestia likes to be creative with her punishments.  There are very few rules written in stone regarding that sort of thing.  Community service is her favorite… usually ironic or unpleasant community service.”

Yet another answer he wasn’t pleased to hear.  Finally he cleared his throat turning his attention to Trixie.  “Miss Lulamoon?”

Trixie flinched but slowly lifted her face to look upon her Princess’.  The showmare’s ears splayed back and her tail tucked tighter between her legs.  “Y… yes, Princess?”

Alex’s horn shimmered as the manacles around the mare’s legs fell to the ground with a loud metallic clunk.  Trixie rubbed at her aching forelegs slowly, keeping her movements clear and precise.  “I was hoping you could explain your actions in Ponyville.”

“I… well I…”  Trixie’s head lowered further.  “...I can’t, Princess.  There’s no explanation for my actions.”

Alex wasn’t terribly familiar with how courtroom sentencing and prisoner conduct usually went, but he was pretty sure most insane criminals didn’t look so incredibly contrite.  “I see.  I would still like to hear in your own words exactly what lead up to the event, and what occurred after it if you don’t mind.”

Trixie in fact looked like she very much did mind.  Recounting the tale of her greatest embarrassment and failure wasn’t her favorite past time.  After some hoof scuffing she launched into the story of arriving in Ponyville.  Beginning her act and dealing with the hecklers in the crowd.  

“It sounds as if you were simply performing, and some of the townsfolk took offense?  Doesn’t every performer stretch the truth when they’re on stage?”

The ghost of a smile flashed across Trixie’s muzzle, but it was very brief.  “Yes, most do.  Though most don’t embellish quite as much as I did.  Some of the fault was my own.  I certainly reacted more harshly than was necessary.”

Alex nodded slowly as he mulled this over.  “True.  Though I can’t entirely fault you.  But while they did start it, it wasn’t very mature to stoop to the level you did.”

Trixie sighed.  “I know.  And I considered apologizing the next day.  Then those… colts decided it would be a good idea to lure an ursa minor into town.  So that I could prove how ‘great and powerful’ I was.”  The mare snorted in exasperation.  “My talent is in magic but I’m not that powerful!  I didn’t think anypony was until I saw Twilight Sparkle.  P--Princess Twilight Sparkle, I’m sorry.”

Now that was a name that elicited a response in Celestia’s memory.  Years of tenderly watching over a little filly as she blossomed and grew eagerly absorbing every little magical tidbit doled out by the Princess.  A warmth stirred in Alex’s chest… a pleasant sensation that spread out to his entire body.  It was.  He couldn’t help but wrinkle his nose a little as the sensation took a name in his head.  It was motherly love.  Celestia cared for this Twilight Sparkle almost more than she did her own sister.  

Love and pride mingled as Twilight rose to every seemingly ridiculous challenge Celestia laid before her.  All in the hopes that she’d be worthy of joining she, her sister, and her niece in ruling Equestria.  The feelings multiplied exponentially as the memory of Twilight’s ascension and coronation surfaced.  

Both Trixie and Noteworthy looked concerned as tears started running down Alex’s face.  “P--Princess I’m so sorry if my story has… has offended you somehow…”  Poor Trixie looked torn between hiding in the corner and trying to console her Princess.

Noteworthy was about to approach when Alex straightened his back and dried his eyes.  “No, it’s alright, Trixie.  I was… lost in my memories for a moment.  Please, you were telling me how you came by the amulet?”

Nodding slowly the unicorn shuffled a little closer.  “Yes.  I offered the shopkeeper an incredible amount of bits for it…”	

Alex raised a hoof.  “I’m sorry to interrupt.  You simply walked into a store and bought this insanely powerful and dangerous magical artifact?”  He turned an incredulous look on Noteworthy.  “Is this sort of thing common?”

Noteworthy blinked at the abrupt question glancing from Trixie to Alex.  “Well… not common but it does happen.  These sort of things slip through the cracks, Princess.”

“Slip through the cracks?  If I understand her story correctly Miss Lulamoon purchased this cursed artifact in a shop in where was it?”

“Canterlot.” Trixie quickly supplied.

“In my OWN city right under my nose?  The amulet has been HERE in Canterlot for who knows how long?  How long has it been missing Noteworthy?”

The mare stammered as she flipped through some papers.  “I… I w--well I’d have to do some research, Princess.”

“For that matter, how many other incredibly dangerous artifacts are floating around that could potentially fall into the hooves of my subjects?”	

Noteworthy winced.  “More than you’d like, Princess.”

Alex nodded slowly, a faint frown never leaving his muzzle.  “Trixie Lulamoon, while you’re not entirely blameless in this entire affair I believe you have already suffered a good deal for your actions.  That doesn’t excuse them however.  You will report to Princess Twilight Sparkle in Ponyville, and serve as her personal assistant much like Noteworthy does for me for no less than two years.  You will also be required to put in ten hours of general community service in the town a week.  I’ll be expecting reports from Twilight each week on your conduct and how things are going.  If I don’t like what I hear, the sentence will be harsher.  Do you understand?”

Trixie nodded rapidly, eyes wide.  “O--of course Princess!  I won’t disappoint you again!  I promise!”

The stern look on Alex face eased as he nodded.  “See that you don’t my little pony.  When this is all over I think I’d like to see one of your shows.  Your grandfather was a remarkable magician and was invited many times to perform here at the castle in his prime.”

Trixie’s eyes shone with tears as she bowed her head.  “You’re too kind, Princess.  It would be an honor to perform for you.”

Alex used his own magic to remove the ring from Trixie’s horn.  “I’ll be sending a letter to Twilight this afternoon.  I expect to hear that you’ve arrived in Ponyville, ready to begin your duties by this evening.”

“I’ll leave right away!  The first train I can catch!”

“See that you do.  Have a pleasant afternoon, Trixie, and try to enjoy your time in Ponyville.  It really is a lovely little town.”

Trixie backed out bowing the entire time.  Noteworthy looked up at Alex once she’d gone.  “That was amazing!  If I didn’t know better I’d think you were REALLY the Princess!  And the way you talked about her grandfather and Ponyville, it sounded like you knew it all from memory.”

Alex offered her a faint smile and shrugged.  “I dunno how to explain it.  As I was talking it just felt… right.  Everything I was saying, I guess.”  His smile didn’t last long.  “Who’s in charge of stuff like these missing magic items?”

A look of distaste crossed Noteworthy’s features.  “That would be the head of the magical item research and storage bureau.”

“Alright.  And who’s that?”

“Princess Celestia’s nephew, Prince Blueblood.”

“Hm.  Can we schedule a meeting with him tomorrow?  Or do you think that’s out of bounds?”

Noteworthy shook her head.  “It’s not at all.  The fact that something like the alicorn amulet was just sitting in a shop in Canterlot itself and nopony noticed is slightly appalling.  The Princess gave her nephew the position mostly to shut him up and give him something to do.”

“Hm.  Well he’s doing a crappy job.  Let’s have him in and see what he has to say about all this.”

“I’ll make a note of it, Princess Alex.”  The mare smirked as she jotted a note down in her planner.  “Well then!  That was a very successful first day of court I think!”  She almost looked to be dreading the next part.  “Time for your paperwork?”

The relief the little pony showed in her body when Alex nodded was enough to make him laugh.  “Lead the way, Noteworthy.”

***

“Well I had thought Wendy made the finest hamburger in your world, but I fear Serendipity 3 may have her beat.”

Marissa just shook her head with a rueful grin as the Princess polished off her three hundred dollar hamburger.  “Most people get stuff like filet mignon or something when they spend that much money.  She herself had just finished a seventy dollar hotdog.  If Celestia wasn’t footing the bill she’d never even set foot in a place like this.

“Well then they’re missing out let me tell you.  So!  Dinner is seen to.  And our show begins in less than an hour.  Perhaps we should make our way to the playhouse.”

“Yes sir!”  Both shared a little laugh at that.  “I’ve heard amazing things about Wicked.  This is gonna be a blast.”

“Mmm.”  Celestia eyed the write up for the show as they walked.  “It’s certainly a unique concept.  To be honest nine out of ten plays in Equestria are incredibly dull.  Most are about Luna or myself, the rest are just rehashed versions of the Hearth’s Warming play or similar historic events.  I’m afraid my little ponies have very little in the way of unique ideas.  I go every week in the hopes of something new but alas...”

Marissa walked at Celestia’s side, wearing one of her nicer dresses and a pair of heels.  “Are you sure that’s why there’re never any new plays?  I mean maybe ponies don’t write new stuff because they think they’re perfect and beloved Princess loves all the classics.”

Celestia frowned as she considered that.  “Come to think of it the headmaster for Canterlot’s Academy of the Arts was asking for my advice on a direction for some of his instructors.  I might have been a trifle dismissive with him and said whatever he was working on now was fine.  He may have taken that to mean I didn’t want anything changed.”

“I have to say you’re… very different than the you from the show.”

“Am I?  I’ve watched all three seasons.  I’m very rarely depicted aside from reading Twilight’s friendship reports or attending the occasional function.  None of my private life is delved into save my love of cake.  Luna’s had more character development for goodness sake.  I’m just depicted as the perfect pristine mother figure for the whole Kingdom.”

“And… you’re not?”

Celestia sighed softly.  “In a way I suppose I am.  At least in the eyes of my subjects.  It got so irksome one year, all the bowing and scraping and such that I began wearing the most tacky, obnoxious gowns covered in gems.”

Marissa’s eyes widened.  “No!”

“Oh yes.  It’s still considered high fashion today even though I quit on that years ago.  Recently however trends have turned toward darker more subdued colors.  Silvers, blues, blacks… that sort of thing.”

“...oh yeah?”

“Yes.  Particularly with the younger ponies.  Luna’s been growing steadily more popular as she’s been back.  She has her own holiday coming next week.  More than a few foals were dressed as a night pony, or Luna herself for Nightmare Night.”

The young woman chewed her lip, hesitating to say what she was thinking.  “Princess, are you… jealous of your sister?”

“What?  No!  No of course not.  That’s absolutely ridiculous.  Luna deserves some popularity as well.”

Marissa shrugged.  “Well I can’t argue that.  But you’ve been ruling alone for a thousand years.  That’s a really long time to not have to share the spotlight.  Now your little sister is home raising the moon again… nightlife in Equestria is booming.  I’m not saying you’re going to go all Tyrant Sun or something, but still.”

Celestia snorted.  Then took a deep breath and blew out a heavy sigh.  “Ugh.  I’m jealous of Luna.  I’m just the worst person in the world.”

“You’re not a bad person, Princess.  You’re a normal person.  One who’s lived a lot longer than most, but you still have the same kind of feelings we all get.  I don’t think humans and ponies are all that different really.  On the inside I mean, on the outside we couldn’t get much more different from each other.”

Celestia laughed softly at that.  “You may be right, Marissa Masters.  And please, just Celestia is fine.  Or even Alex I suppose if folks are close by.  We might get a few interested looks if you called me Celestia.”

“Can’t argue with that.  So what’s Luna doing that makes her so much more popular with the ponies?”

The Princess sighed as she walked.  “She’s been throwing herself into modern Equestrian culture with abandon.  All the nightlife has her so excited that she got over her shyness rather quickly.  Luna’s always been rather blunt.  When she wants to do something, she does it.  If she wants to learn something, she apparently starts asking anybody who crosses her path about the subject.  This has made her seem more normal and approachable than I, who is supposedly all knowing.”

“Which you kinda are, right?  Isn’t that the whole point of your week long getaway?”

“True enough.  There’s very little in Equestria that holds mystery for me any longer.  Luna has a thousand years of missed history and advancement to occupy herself with.  Not to mention all the parties she’s been attending.”

“You can’t go?”

Celestia shrugged.  “I can, but my presence tends to be something of a killjoy to the common pony.  They feel that if I’m there they can’t relax and be themselves.”

“So show them they can.  Go… be a party animal like Luna.  Heck have Pinkie throw a “Princess Celestia is a regular pony too!” party.  You know she would.”

Now Celestia quirked a little smile.  “I suppose she would.  That might not be the worst idea in the world either.  Thank you, Marissa.”

Marissa flashed a grin of her own.  “Anytime, Celestia.”

The pair walked in companionable silence after that.  The playhouse soon coming into view.

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

While I was initially apprehensive at the idea of essentially being Trixie’s jailer, Spike reminded me that my increased workload is stressing not only myself but him as well.  Another pair of hooves around to help out can only be a good thing, even if I do have to put up with the Great and Powerful Trixie.

I’ve had Spike prepare a room for Trixie.  We have several in the library’s upper floor that aren’t in use.  Even more, now that everypony in Ponyville has insisted it become the site of my very own palace.  Something my protests about have gone entirely ignored, by the way.  Still, the old tree is looking pretty magnificent, and I’d love if you could come out and see it soon.  Princess Luna’s been by several times for tea, I know you’re very busy though and don’t wish to impose.

Rest assured Trixie is in good hooves here in Ponyville.  We’ll find plenty for her to do to earn her freedom.  

Always looking forward to your next visit,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

Alex set the letter aside with a small frown.  If Twilight was so important to Celestia, why did it sound like she was avoiding her?  Shaking his head at his lack of understanding he went back to the book he’d been reading before the letter dropped from the air overhead.

A gentle knock at his door drew Alex’s attention away from ‘A Foal’s Guide to Beginning Magic’.  The children’s magical primer was laid at his hooves as he called out.  “It’s open!”

Noteworthy stepped inside.  “Just wanted to make sure you were all settled in before I turn in for the night, Alex.”  She raised an eyebrow as she spotted the cover of the book.  “A little simple isn’t it?  You’ve been doing magic all day.”

“Well I have but I don’t know how I’m doing it.  I’m just borrowing the Princess’ memories on how to levitate or raise the sun.  That’s not the same as understanding how I do it.  I want to learn about magic, not just mooch off of Celestia’s powers.  Does that make sense?”

“It does in fact.  I suppose I’ll leave you to your studies then.  Just don’t stay up too late hm?  Early morning and all that.”

“Yes ma’am!  I promise I won’t be up much past my bedtime.”

Noteworthy snorted and thumped him in the back of the head with a pillow using her magic.  “Hey now that’s cheating.”

The little mare wore a grin as she backed out.  “Enjoy your rest, Princess.  I’ll see you tomorrow.   ...and Alex?  You did very well today.”

“Thanks Noteworthy.  I’ll see you tomorrow.  And I won’t stay up too late, promise.”  He watched her go, turning his attention back to the book at his forehooves.  Completely ignoring the niggling memories of magic in his head he focused on the formula for forming a light.  As far as he could tell, according to the book at least… magic required no verbal component.  A unicorn needed to formulate and focus on a very complex formula consisting of the magical alphabet in their head.  

Spells were split into seven different schools of magic.  Each school had a sort of base formula each spell was developed from.  So to conjure a light, he needed the basic formula for conjuration magic mixed with the formula for light.  Developing new spells seemed as simple as adding more complexities onto a formula.  So if he wanted a green light he would do conjuration, plus light, plus green.  It was surprisingly simple at its core.  The trick was memorizing the various symbols to create the formulas.

He was nearly finished with his little primer book, and on the other side of the bed unseen from the door was a small stack of more complex magical tomes.  He definitely wouldn’t stay up too late though.