Don't get me started on those ponies!

by Blazer The Pony

First published

This is a story about a dude going into Equestria but there is a catch he is not a friendly fellow.

This is about a hate filled teen going through the magical land of Equestria. While he goes on this adventure he stumbles through this land he meets joy filled ponies.

Chapter 1: The Intro

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One day in a small town named Drows in Ohio America two guys age 16 and 18 are in a bright red house in a blue room looking at a mirror. The 16 year old is Mike, he has a white shirt and blue jeans with a "YOLO" baseball cap. the 18 year old is winchester, but don't call him that or he will rip you a new one. he likes the name Wolf much better.

"Hi there my names Mike and I'm going to beat you up unless you give me your food and lunch money punk." Mike said being as angry as he could be.

Wolf looked at Mike doubtfully.

"Wow that was so cliche." Wolf said rolling his eyes at Mike then face palming.

"Well what do you think then wolf." He said looking at Wolf.

"No, he will not be good for my group he is weak too kind and mushy. I need mean and ruthless people and he seems to be trying to act cool or "Kool" wearing a "YOLO" baseball cap. Well, gotta wait for the next person to see if there good enogh." Wolf thought to himself.

"OK, so am I in the group the first member recruited?" Mike said with a great big smile on his face eyes as wide as they could be when your about to go into a group that is for you.

Wolf grabbed him by the collar and said "NOPE! Your not qualified." while looking dead straight into his eyes.

Wolf let go of the collar of the 16 year old and yelled "Now scram, out the door!" Then wolf pointed to the door.

Mike looked at him shock then looked down in extremely heartbroken and walked out the door very slow and cried on the way out.

Wolf shut the door with frustration.

"AGGGHH why couldn't find someone that knows how to mean and able jerk around with other people smaller than them!" Wolf yelled. "Well might as well as well sleep it is 10 o'clock after all...Wolf stopped talking and realized "Oh the bungie jumping almost forgot about that." wolf said shocked

Wolf grabbed iPhone with headphones and shoved the iPhone in his pocket to keep safe then he Ran out the door towards the street leading to the 117 foot white dam.



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Meanwhile in Equestria

In this land of techno coloured ponies in a town called Ponyville, there is a town with a specific mare with a cyan coat and a rainbow coloured mane with wings is flying around in the sky. This ponies name is Rainbow Dash Trying to move all the clouds over Ponyville.

"OK, that is 100 clouds out of 9001. Wow thats a bunch, OK how about I get Twi to give me a speed boost or something." Rainbow said pondering about how to do her job faster. "Alright then lets do this then."

Rainbow Dash raced to a library that is carved into of a oak tree that houses a lavender pony named Twilight with a horn on her head with darker purple mane with light purple and a pink highlights. Also living in this library is a baby dragon named Spike that has light purple and dark green scales with green eyes. Rainbow came to the door and knocked three times. After that the door opened

"Hi Rainbow dash." A lavender pony said greeting Rainbow dash. "How are you doing?

"Hi Twilight I need some help moving the clouds, can you give me a speed boost or something to help me? Rainbow asking for assistance.

"Hmmm... I know." Twilight said looking at a purple young dragon and said "Spike come here and find the book named 'Fast traveling and moving for ponies vol.1'

"Alright Twilight." Spike looked around and found the science/magic section and loomed fir the book. "Ha got it." Spike handed the book to twilight and she picked it up with her magic.

"Thanks Spike," twilight said thankfully.

Spike then said "Well it is just one book, it's not like asking me to organizing then on how many words the books have like last week." Spike said.

"Well that my be but, I'm still thankful." Twilight said still thankful

"Whatever." Spike said raising his hand up in the air walking away.

"Anyway lets find a way to help you shall we." Twilight said

"Cool, thanks Twilight." Rainbow said eagerly to find out how Twilight will help.

They looked through the book looking for something that would help out. After 10 minutes they found a spell that would speed up the speed of wings flapping by 100 and would give the power of going very fast.

"Ah ha here this looks like it could work." Twilight said in excitement."It will multiply your wings flapping ability and makes you go very fast." She said with a smile on her face.

"Woah, that... sounds... AWESOME!" She said flying doing a back flip. "Lets do it 'spell' me up."

"But Rainbow it also says "If you do this spell then be warned if you use this new powers then be careful because you might cause a rift in space and time and cause the universe to implode on its self and make it also make people"... wait what does break the forth wall mean? Anyway..."

Twilight didn't realize that Rainbow wasn't listening since the words 'it also says' because she was daydreaming about flying very fast. Flying around with the wind in her mane and snapped back to reality when twilight said "Do you agree to do this?"

Then Rainbow said confidently with a cocky grin "Yes Twilight, I'm sure." She looked at twilight.

"OK, lets go outside and do it alright." Rainbow nodded after agreeing to Twilight.

They walked outside so Twilight could preform the spell.

"Alright Rainbow," Twilight said closing the book looking at Rainbow "Are you ready?"

Rainbow looked at the sky then to twilight "Yes I am so lets do this."

Twilight focussed on Rainbow with all her power a huge purple coloured power burst of energy came directly towards Rainbow Dash and hit her wings with momentum that nearly nocked her over. If there was no force lifting here of the ground.

"Stage 2" Twilight yelled

A orb formed around Rainbow Dash with sparks in it and weird symbols from past Equestrian history. With that a big explosion was created and the spell was complete. Twilight raced over to Rainbow Dash to see if she was OK. Rainbow was laying on the ground.

"Rainbow you OK?" Twilight asked curiously

"Yeah, I think so" Rainbow asked dazed

"Well did it work?" Twilight asked

Rainbow flew up in the air trying to see she could fly faster. But she wasn't she going fast so she did it slightly wrong.

"AHH! Whats are the spells that you could of done at the start middle and end of the spell in the book. OK here lets see." Twilight said then looked in the book.
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Start: no spells.

Middle: no spells

End: Intergalactic travel to a creature to your world pg. 68.
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"Oh no, this can't be good" she looked at Rainbow Dash in concern

"Hey Twilight, what could possibly go wrong." Rainbow said



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Meanwhile back to wolfs world 30 minutes later after leaving his house...

Meanwhile at a dam with a bungie jump station on it. A dirty blond mid 30's man with a tie dye T-shirt with black blue jeans with a white mark where looked like bleach fell on to his pants with a New York Yankees base ball cap was hooking a bungie cord to a teenager's harness. The teenager was little younger than Wolf with grey sweat pants and a black T-shirt with a dragon illustration on it and curly brown hair.

"Yeah made it. Just in time too neat." Wolf said catching his breath. "OK only one person in front. Nice." he said well a small grin.

"OK sir you only need to jump after i hook you up to this bungie cord you will jump and get lunged up and down. Then Bob the man in the boat right there" he pointed at a white and green boat to shore and Bob waved at them.

"OK, 3...2...1 GO!" the man yelled and the black shirted kid jumped with his arms flailing around trying to fly or something. Reaching the end he flung backup then down again and again and again and again.

"Sir your next after him just wait a bit. He will be up eventually." He looked at Wolf with a smile.

"Well, how long is a bit." Wolf asked curiously.

"Well about...30-40 mins." The man answered looking at Wolf.

"No, too long hey how about that cord with there." Wolf pointed at a bungie cord to the right.

"Oh over there that one is out of order." The man said

"well, not to me. Hook me up dude." Wolf said back with a cocky smile.

The man looked at him and shook his head "Sorry, no sir just wait."

"Do i have to ask again?" Wolf looked at the man and cracked his knuckles.

The man gulped "OK sir..."

the man hooked up the equipment on Wolf and the bungie. While having a concerned look on his face look around seeing if there is a way to stop Wolf from falling.

"Alright, sir I'm done now now jump but the bungie might break so I have no..." The man said before getting cut off.

"Yeah, Yeah, Blah, Blah lawsuit, charges, nothing to do with it, I get it." Wolf looked down to the water to see how far down the drop will be if the rope breaks.

"Are you sure sir, I mean it could be dangerous." The man looked while knowing his fate.

"Ha the word "Dangerous" from a person that throws kids off a dam with a cord strapped to them for a living doesn't concern me." Wolf Looked down and said "Well tie dye man dude I must admit, your very strict with the rules but you know what?"

"What?" The man wondering what he was about to say to him and this man was thinking if he dies I'm the guy that will know hi last words.

"All that I can say is..." Wolf thought for a moment trying to think of his last words are and thought of them what will the last words to say to this guy before falling.

"Well, what is it that you want to say dude?" the man asked curiously.

Wolf yelled at the top of his lungs "Rock and Roll!"

Then he Jumped off the 117 foot Dam with courage.

Chapter 2: The Fall

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Meanwhile by the dam...


Wolf jumped off, with courage. With all his will and total fearlessness he took the dive towards the icy cold water with jagged rocks. Wolf Suddenly realized he might die from this! Wolf tried to get off but it was too late. The cord snapped on his way down he notice that he was now in no protection via rope.

"The things that I get into..." He said laughing while plummeting to his demise.

Wolf looked up to see how long he was falling. "It is about 90 feet down so 27 feet to go." Wolf thought and gulped while just waiting until his fate.

"Ok! Here we g-" Wolf said

Then suddenly Wolf noticed a purplish circular orb of energy this object appeared out of nowhere below him. This object looked like some sort of a portal and or gateway leading to who knows where. Then hey was about to hit this orb of energy at 58 feet per second.

"Well Shhiii-" Wolf getting cut off by not being there in that universe anymore.



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"Hey Twilight, what could possibly go wrong." Rainbow said.

"-iiiiiiiit" a unknown creature said falling out of the sky.

Then a loud THUD was heard that was about 1 mile away from where they were. Towards the Everfree forest



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With a loud THUD Wolf's vision went black and then everything disappeared. Then suddenly saw a familiar faces. There were five kids all at the age of 11. Then walked towards a kid with a wolf t-shirt and grey sweat pants.

"Hey look at topper." As a the seemed to be leader of the group pointed at a kid with a spinning top in his hand.


A kid it the middle pointed at him and all of them started to laugh. The kid called "Topper" looked at them confused but then realizing what they were laughing at. He went up to the kid that called him "Topper" and started running full speed at one of the kids that were at the middle.



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Wolf's mind jolted back to reality. He saw some trees and bushes and a crater that he left which was about 4 feet wide. Wolf looked around some more and saw no dam and no water nearby. Wolf then remembered the ball of energy now he was just confused.

"I survived falling over 100 feet and had been moved to who knows where, just perfect!" Wolf thought to himself.

He heard sound of what sounded like horseshoes coming towards his general direction, Wolf tried to get up but fell back down because his leg gave out on him. He was unable to move that much due of his body being sore from falling from the dam, so he tried to get up again but failed.


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Rainbow was flying towards where she and twilight heard the THUD. She went extremely fast past the trees to get to that location. As Rainbow came out of the trees to find a clearing in the trees and large crater in the middle with some sort of creature in the middle. Twilight followed shortly after and was shocked as well as Rainbow about what they saw.

Rainbow Dash landed on the ground then looked at Twilight "Twilight, what is that thing?" Rainbow asked scared.

"I-I-I don't know some sort of creature with 2 legs and arms with some odd things at the end of them." Twilight said unknowingly.

Twilight and Rainbow walked closer but then the weird two legged monster looked at the two ponies while still laying in the crater that he made.

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Wolf got up off his stomach and fell back and asked "What the...?"

The 4 legged multi coloured creatures were startled from seeing a very scary looking creature and looked at each other. The purple one whispered something to the blue on with rainbow hair. Wolf didn't take any chances with the skittles ponies. Wolf is not a man that wants to take risks usually. (granted the fact he jumped off a dam but that's besides the point.) So he grabbed a large branch that had a pointy end because it fell out of a tree when he landed hard onto the ground into this world.

Wolf yelled at the 4 legged animals and said."Hey! You what are you looking at!"

They both looked at him in curiosity. Then he threw the pointed branch like a javelin nearly hitting hitting the lavender one. The purple one screamed and started running away from Wolf. The blueish one looked at Wolf and where the other one left multiple times then went after the other one in fright.


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The two ponies were raced out of the forest because of what they just saw. The ponies keep running until they found themselves just outside of the library. They both stopped and looked back at each other and back to the forest the to each other again.

"Twilight," Rainbow Dash said looking at twilight while Panting "What was that thing?" Rainbow asked concerned.

"I don't know, I just don't know at all." Twilight said looking back at Rainbow looking very worried.