> Spiked Berry Punch > by Strange Harmony > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Since I'm a drunk, I think I'll get some help > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Derpy Hooves stood beside a sleeping Berry Punch, who was obviously exhausted from a get together last night. That or she was drunk as hell. Derpy stood there in her mail mare uniform, looking beautiful as usual with her cute bag and all, and questioned Berry Punch's life. How had her life been overcome by an addiction such as drinking? Who will save this precious mare from drinking herself to death? Maybe she will turn to her friends for help, for they are the only ones that can help her overcome this bad hab-” “Derpy?!” Berry Punch hollered. The voice made Derpy jump, causing her to bump into the dresser and knock items from it all over the floor. She quickly glanced at Berry Punch from over her shoulder and then back at the mirror. “She has awoken and she seems angry, but at what? Most likely not because I broke her window trying to get inside.” “You did what?! Why?!" She shook her head in confusion, giving herself a terrible migraine. "Ow! N-nevermind, What the hell are you even doing here at this hour? It’s like 5 A.M.!” Berry said angrily, starting to get up from her bed. Derpy grabbed something from in front of the mirror and turned toward her friend, concealing the item behind her back. “Uh... I’m just trying to set the scene for the story.” She said as she looked around the room with a nervous smile, not knowing what to do. “What story?” Berry asked looking toward Derpy, she spotted what she was hiding behind her back through the mirror. “Is that a camera Derpy? What are you film-?” “Porn!” Derpy interrupted. "I-I mean uh..." As quick as possible, Derpy put the camera in her bag and swung the room door open but tripped over herself and slammed her face into the hard, wooden floor before even taking a step from where she was standing. Flapping her wings, she got up quickly and ran down the hall, bumping into everything on the way out. Berry heard her front door open and slam closed again. A few seconds passed before she even moved a muscle. “She looked around her room, thinking about what had just happened. How the mysterious mare had broken into her home.” "What the?" She looked around her room from her bed but found nopony. "I’m going crazy...” she got up and walked to her dresser where Derpy stood. "What a way to wake up in the morning. A crazy pony filming you while you sleep and a splitting headache." She opened the first drawer and pulled out a green container that read, "Wine Pills." “Berry Punch opened the container and shook out one, two pills." Berry was starting to feel uneasy, that voice was faint but she could hear it clearly. "Is that me?" She asked herself. "Probably my mind playing tricks on me again, maybe I should lay off the wine..." She said, actually thinking if it'd be a good idea. "Ha! Maybe not." she said as she walked down the hall, into the kitchen. "She walked to the kitchen where she pulled a bottle of wine and a glass from a cabinet.” The voice said with a snicker. Berry's ears perked up and she set the glass and bottle down. “Now I know that's not me. Who the hell...?” She looked around once more and spotted a camera at the corner of her broken window. “Derpy! Get the hell out of here!” Derpy peeked into the window once more and met with Berry’s angry gaze. Berry grabbed the bottle of wine, tossed it at the window and missed the broken portion causing the rest to shatter and startle Derpy. Before Berry could do anything else, derpy took off down the road and ascended into the air where she almost immediately collided with another unaware mail mare carrying a box. They both spiraled out of Berry Punch’s sight, the contents of the box flying everywhere. The boxes contents? More boxes. Berry heard a loud "CLANK!". Hopefully that was a bounce house. Berry thought as she tried to get a better look from her window because she couldn't see a thing, and the sounds continued, signaling that the crash was causing more damage. When the commotion finally died down after a long paragraph of words, all that could be heard were ponies' angry yells. “Holy crap.” Berry said to herself laughing. “Well, back to bed I go.” She walked back to the counter and pulled another wine bottle from the cabinet. She returned to her wine glass and filled it to the rim with wine that smelled solely of alcohol and not even a hint of grapes. She set the two pills down besides the filled glass and drank whatever was left in the bottle of wine. "Oh sweet Celestia, that's good." She threw the bottle in the trash, then went back to finish her glass of wine. Without even a wash, she set the glass back in the cabinet and went back to her room, completely forgetting about the pills. She closed the door behind her and laid back in her bed, getting comfortable as she covered herself once more. She couldn't help but wonder how crazy the morning had started. How Derpy had caused so much damage in so little time and how she was being watched while she was sleeping. Scratch that, filmed. She rolled over so she was facing the wall now. “I have a feeling this morning is only the beginning...” She said with a sigh as she finally drifted off to sleep. _________________________________________________________________________________________ "So she broke into your house?" Bon Bon asked from across the coffee table. "Yeah, but that's not the worst part." Berry responded, looking around. "Bon Bon, she was filming something in my room, something about setting the scene." She continued to look around until she was sure Derpy wasn't around. "Huh, I've never heard of Derpy really doing anything bad. Boy, if she would've broken into mine and Lyra's house and tried to film us sleeping she'd be in for some hot, steamy mare-on-mare-" "Alright!" Berry interrupted slightly disgusted. "I don't wanna hear about a sex life that isn't my own, and I usually only hear mine from a policepony." Berry sighed, "Where's our coffee? We've been sitting here for a good fifteen minutes!" "What the? Berry, we didn't order anything, and you don't seem like somepony who would drink coffee." "Well why the hell not?" Berry said with a wine bottle in her hoof. Bon Bon sighed, "I'm gonna go find Lyra, we need to discuss more important matters." She got up from her stool. "Like what?" Berry questioned. "You'll see, are you coming?" Bon Bon asked, a little irritated. "I guess so. I mean, what else have I got to do?" Berry said with a shrug. Drink yourself to death maybe? Bon Bon thought to herself. The two mares got up and walked outside. The view was beautiful, flowers were blooming and the wind carried the smell of fruits and vegetables through the air. Everything seemed pretty lively outside, ponies walking down the streets, buying from stands, stallions pulling carriages with big crates on the back. Anypony could see today was a busy day. Berry took a deep breath, taking in all the sweet aromas, "Ahh... feels like I haven't been outside in forever." "Well, yeah I can see why. I mean, the story did start inside of your house." Bon Bon responded. "What story?" Berry snapped at her. "Yeah! What story?" Bon Bon looked away nervously. "Anyways, let's find Lyra. She's probably at the park doin' her thing." They walked down the road leading away from the coffee shop, taking turns at corners and sightseeing around Ponyville before eventually reaching the park. There, Berry and Bon Bon spotted Lyra, sitting how a pony shouldn't. "How can she sit like that?" Berry asked, "it doesn't seem comfortable." Bon Bon began walking toward Lyra and she motioned for Berry to follow. "Lyra's into these otherworldly creatures, I think they're called, "Hoomans" or something like that, but they seem kinda cool. She's been doing some research and apparently that's how they sit." As they approached, Lyra turned her head and met with the sight of her two friends. "Hey girls!" She got up from her seat and met Bon Bon with a kiss that was long enough to make anypony feel uncomfortable, including Berry. She looked away until Lyra eventually backed away from her marefriend. "Where have you ponies been all morning?" "Talking," Berry responded, "Derpy broke into the my house earlier this morning." "She did what? No way!" Lyra exclaimed, shocked. "Why would she do that?" "Actually, Lyra, honey, sweetie." Bon Bon interrupted. "What did we talk about this morning?" "How the Author was gonna write a stor-" "No, not that!" Bon Bon shouted, startling the mares accompanying her. "Ahem... heheh sorry girls, I meant the other thing Lyra." "Oh, ok." She turned to Berry, "Berry, we talked it over this morning and me and Bon here wanna help you quit drinking." "Yeah... no." She turned and began to walk away. "Berry, come on!" Bon Bon pleaded and walked ahead of her. Lyra followed. "We just wanna help you, and as far as me and Lyra know, we're the only ones that wanna help. Berry, even Derpy wants to help." "We've tried this before, what makes you think it'll work now?" Berry responded angrily. She brushed passed the pair and continued walking. "It's because you don't want to give it up Berry," Lyra stepped in front her, stopping her again, "we want you to give it up, why don't you? Don't you hate waking up every morning with a nasty hangover? Do you like waking up every morning not knowing what happened the night before?" "It's none of your business what I do with my life, I'm doing fine on my own!" Berry moved to the side and Lyra followed, stopping her once more. "Are you Berry? I want you to think long and hard about what I just asked you. Are you?" Tears building up, Lyra moved in closer to hug her friend. "We care about you more than you think and we want nothing more than to live a life where we won't have to lose a friend or a loved one. What happens if one morning you just don't wake up...?" The tears began to flow from her eyes. She let go of Berry and went to hug Bon Bon, hoping for some comfort. Bon Bon held her and looked Berry Punch in her eyes, holding a gaze of sorrow that filled her and her companion, "You have to see that this poison is ruining your life and it's killing you. Nopony here in Ponyville wants to have to bury you." She patted Lyra's back, hoping to stop her tears. "Girls, I'm branded the town drunk, the one who's always a trouble maker and a pony who's life doesn't matter. Do you really expect me to believe that?" Berry lowered her head, tears building in her eyes as well. Up until now, she never once thought of the mistakes she was making in her life. Never once did she think about how horrible her life was playing out since the day she started drinking. Reality was slapping her right in the face. With a hoof Bon Bon raised Berry's head until their gaze met once more, "Remember when you, Lyra, Derpy, Dinky, and I went to the coronation of Princess Twilight Sparkle? Remember how she reminded us of all the things she overcame with magic of friendship?" "Yeah..." Berry said with her voice breaking, trying her best to hold back tears as her lip began to tremble. "Well," Bon Bon said, wiping Lyra's tears. "she needed the help of magical necklaces and five friends. You might not have magic artifacts or that many friends but what you do have is Lyra, Derpy, and me. And you know what? That's all you need." Berry joined in on the hug and held her friends close. "Now how about we push that crap out of your life and help you get back on track, hmm?" "Yeah... alright." Berry responded wiping her tears. The group let go of one another and took a step back, gathering their composure. "I'm gonna try to kick this habit again, not for myself, but for everyone around me this time. You girls and Derpy mean the world to me." "No," Lyra said with a smile, "this time you will kick this habit." "Soon you'll be the happiest mare in all of Equestria!" Bon Bon smiled. "Thanks girls." Berry smiled at her two friends and thanked Celestia for blessing her with them. She couldn't think of a day where her friends hadn't been there with her, including Derpy. She knew she couldn't live without them. "Well, you know what they say," Berry said, gathering her friends and holding them close. "Friendship is Magic..." > Where to begin... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Did you expect it to end like that?” Lyra said, cuddling next to Bonbon in their queen sized bed. “Kinda,” she responded. “it was an ending anypony could’ve predicted.” “It was just the first chapter. Maybe he has something else in store?” Lyra asked as she rubbed a hoof on Bonbons belly. “Like what?” She reached forward and pulled the covers up to their muzzles. “I don’t know,” Lyra moved her hoof south from Bonbons very rubbed belly. “but maybe we could do something until we find out.” She said seducingly. “I like where this is going.” Bonbon shifted under the covers and pulled Lyra in for a- wait a minute. This story is about Berry Punch, not your ponies’ sex life. The covers were thrown off the bed and Lyras hoof skyrocketed into Bonbons muzzle. “I didn’t mean that I swear!” Lyra said. “I mean, it wasn’t me!” “Just once,” Bonbon said to the ceiling, rubbing her muzzle. “why can’t you just let us just once?” I don’t remember this story being called ‘Spiked Berry let’s ignore the point of the story and do what we want that’s not child appropriate’. “...” Thought so. “Time to get up, I guess.” They both got up from bed and in a few moments they were halfway into Berry’s house. “Wait, hold on.” said Lyra with a confused tone. What’s wrong?” asked Bonbon with a concerned tone. “When and how did we get here?” “Beats me. Maybe ‘He’ is using his powers again” “Oh, right. Don’t you think that maybe we should do something about that.” “What do you mean?” “I’m talking about rebelling.” whispered Lyra in hopes that “He” wouldn’t hear her, but I did. “Thats nonsense. Why would we rebel?” countered Bonbon. “Well ‘He” is controlling our lives. he won’t even let us do...well...you know.” Lyra and Bonbon arrive at Berry’s house. Bonbon raises a hoof and knocks thrice on the door. “Do what?” Bonbon asks. “You know, do the frick-frack.” Bonbon blushes and is about to respond before Berry Punch swings the door open. “Oh, hey girls!” Berry shouted, startling them both. “Hey Berry.” The couple responded. ‘Ready for your training?’” “You said Sunday!” Berry groaned. “It is Sunday.” Berry turned around to look at her calendar. “Oh, right.” “Get your stuff, we’re going to Derpy’s house.” Lyra said “Fine.” Berry reluctantly responded, gathering some items on her counter as well as her bag. The trio proceeded outside into the wilderness that was Ponyville and down a road passed Twilights library; descriptions, descriptions yada yada -arrived at the doorstep of Derpy Hooves. Lyra knocked three times before Dinky finally opened the door. “Lyra!” Dinky said with a wide smile. “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in ages!” “That’s because nopony has written a story about us lately.” “Huh?” “Where’s your mother?” Bonbon asked. “Oh! Ummm…” Dinky walked back into the house. “Mom!” She shouted. “Yes, dear?” Derpy yelled back from somewhere inside the house. “Your friends are here!” “Tell them I can’t pay them right now, the deal is shot, Soarin lied about the-” “Not those friends!” Dinky interrupted In seconds, Derpy was at the front door with her daughter. “How’s it goin’ girls?” “Did you forget we were coming?” Berry asked. “No.” Derpy responded. “No I did not.” She motioned for them to follow her into the house. “Make yourselves at home.” “Where’s the bathroom, Derpy?” Lyra asked, shutting the door behind them. “I have to go.” “Actually,” Bonbon began. “where the hell is the rest of your house?!” “Now that I think about it,” She laughed. “I’m not too sure, where did I even come from?” The group peered from the house’ entrance into a black undescribed abyss that shrouded anything further than where they were currently standing. “I’m not sure what to make of this anymore.” Berry said with a sigh. “Can we just go outside?” “Wait!” Derpy shot her hoof out as swift as a snail, slapping Berry in the process. “Sorry. I have an idea.” She took a deep breath, exhaled and peered into the blackness. “From the door, a couch sat against a red wall.” To everypony’s astonishment, what Derpy described had appeared like she said. With a smile as wide as a mile, she continued to describe her home in every bit of detail. “A table in the middle of the expensive, white carpet with a muffin imprinted in the center. The curtains, oh so beautiful, made of the finest fabric to cover the stained glass bearing the queen of all muffins! Me!” “Uh… Derpy, I think you’re going a little bit overboard.” Lyra said with a laugh. “And a 75 inch plasma T.V with 3-D features in the front of the room! An archway made of muffins at the entrance to the magnificent entertainment room. Maybe even a dash of a diamond walkway throughout the house.” Before their eyes appeared Derpy’s exact descriptions as she called them out and even from underneath them the walkway shifted into the diamond path she had described. “How about a seat fit for a queen and, and, and, my own servant that will do my bidding!” A stallion with a chiseled moustache appeared out of thin air. “Bonjour, madam Derpy. Address me as Justin Itforthemen and I will fulfill your every need.” “Your name is what now?” asked Lyra but Derpy’s ongoing spree of materializing objects drowns out her voice. “How about a golden chalice as well as a magnificent china cabinet for the heads of all who oppose me as their god! Muahahahahaha!” Wow. “Derpy!” Berry yelled. “What the hell?! Stop!” “Mom? Are you okay?” Dinky asked. Derpy’s laugh was cut short as her daughters voice brought her back into reality. “...umm… yeah. Just having some fun.” She said, taking a seat on her muffin throne. She motioned for her friends to sit on the couch across from her. “Where do we go from here?” Asked Lyra, taking a seat with her friends and Dinky on the couch. “Well,” Bonbon began. “before Derpy went all crazy I had planned to discuss several methods we could use to help Berry so let’s do that.” “What methods, exactly?” Berry asked. “Well,” Lyra said. “ we thought about having you live with us so we could monitor your intake of alcohol and cut it down little by little until it eventually stopped but that’s a stupid idea that would never work.” “What have you tried already?” Berry asked... “Well,” Began Derpy. “there was this one time when we thought you’d eventually stop by yourself so we decided to let you drink all you want.” “Why didn’t that work?” Berry asked. Sweet Celestia she’s annoying. “It almost did,” Derpy responded. “but then you tried to sleep with Dinky and I almost kicked your plot to the sun. That was when we realized that it was a big no-no.” “She said I was fun sized.” Dinky whispered to Lyra. “You are.” Lyra whispered back with a wink. “What did you say you Cootie Queen?!” yelled Derpy. “Nothing.” Lyra quickly responded. That’s what i thought “What do you girls have in mind now?” Asked Berry, continuing with her questions that are unimportant to the story. “Mom?” Dinky raised her hoof. “I think I have an idea.” “What is it honey?” “Why don’t we just cover her mouth so she can’t drink?” Dinky said with enthusiasm. Berry laughed. “That won’t work, silly. I can just uncover my mouth when nopony is around.” “Nuh uh!” Dinky retaliated, shaking her hoof in Berry’s face. “ Ms. Lyra and Ms. Bonbon have this thing with straps that goes around your whole head and covers your mouth with a little red ball!” “What the-” Derpy turned toward Bonbon and Lyra, peering directly into the depths of their souls. “What are you showing my daughter? Did she catch you two ‘wrestling’?!” Derpy asked with anger. “Wrestling?” Bonbon asked, puzzled. “Oh no, Derpy. We were totally fuc-” “Shut up!” Derpy shouted. “You two had better get back on track or I might ‘wrestle’ you to death!” She just said that. “This isn’t going to fix my problem!” Berry shouted, finally becoming somewhat important to the plot and getting up from the couch. “You’re all supposed to be helping me, not arguing about who’s going to wrestle who!” “She’s right,” Lyra said. “that’s why we brought her here.” “I’ve got it!” Bonbon shouted, jumping from the couch and clapping her hooves in excitement. “There’s going to be a-” Logging Off. “Huh?” “OH NO! I forgot to postpone the update.” Derpy shouted. Windows is now Updating. Please do not shut down. “What the hell is windows?” Windows Update Complete. Windows Shutting Down. “Ah motherf-”