Gold Roll
Gold Watch couldn’t even yelp before the snare hoisted him five feet off the ground in a tight net. Panic gripped him, joined by dizziness and disorientation, and fears icy tendrils began to worm into his stomach. He knew this wasn’t Blue Chip’s doing. Even at his wildest, net snares were simply not his style.
Both net and pony fell to the ground with a thud and a grunt, and when Golden Watch realised which way was up, he saw an orange pegasus towering over him, casting a grim shadow under the poplar tree.
“Wha— Scootaroll?” yelled Gold Watch, “What the hay, mare! Where’s Blue Chip?”
His captor shrugged and laughed. “Hay if I know, probably doing that apprenticing thing with Soprano’s big bro. Can’t believe you can’t recognise your best friend’s muzzlewriting.”
Gold Watch quelled his panic and brought all the indignation and authority he could muster to bear, “Whatever, just get me out of this freaking net right now! I don’t care what stupid prank you and Applebuck are doing, but you’re both going to be in a world of shit if—!
Scootaroll barked out a harsh laugh. “Applebuck? Farmcolt didn’t have nothing to do with this.” He circled around the bound pony, and as the late afternoon light filtering through the trees hit his face, Gold Watch saw a crazed look in his eyes. “Nah, I’m the one who spent twenty hours straight setting up net snares under every damn poplar tree in this damn grove. I’ve been awake for two days, running on fumes, Minotaurine, and those little cupcakes made from chocolate-covered cornflakes from Sugarcube Corner, and you have messed with us for the last freakin’ time!”
Before Golden Watch could protest further, the pegasus shoved a ball of chewy peanut-butter toffee in his mouth, and dragged his mumbling captive away from the poplar trees.
* * *
After being dragged a quarter-mile over rough ground by a jittery pegasus, Gold Watch was a bruised, terrified mess. He cried out though his censoring confection as he was hauled into a crude tent. When his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he whimpered. The tent was full of horrific instruments; crude whips made from bicycle cables, bundles of freshly-picked nettles, vicious-looking switches, buckets of manure, scissors, needles, whole toolboxes full of Solaris-knew-what...
Gold Watch twisted his head to look at his captor. The pegasus brought a hoof down hard on Gold Watch’s back, and with a cough the peanut-brittle-ballgag shot from his mouth.
“Sc-Scootaroll this is a bad idea you’ll get in so much trouble just let me mphfff—” he mumbled, cut off by an insistent hoof.
“We’ve gone through a lot together, huh Goldie? Like, remember that time when you and Bluey told everyone that Red Gala was actually Applebuck’s mom? Or when you slapped a bunch of chicken feathers and superglue on my flank and shoved me into a ‘surprise Cuteceñero for the Amazing Equine Chicken!’ That was a hoot! Or, or, even that time after we got our Cutie Marks, and you spread a rumor that Soprano lost his virginity to a cat! All of those, and every little bitchy spiteful thing you said or did to us, I mean, well, wow.”
Scootaroll leaned in so close that Gold Watch could feel his breath on his eyelids. “I figured it was high time to repay the favor,’ whispered the pegasus, ‘Your mommy thinks you’re off on some camping trip, so I’ve got all weekend with you. I’m gonna shave off that stupid, poncey mane, make you eat worms and give you the switch ‘til your butt glows in the dark and that’s just for tonight, you hear me?”
‘Mmmphff...’ replied Gold Watch around the hoof, tears already welling in his eyes.
“You’re all mine, Goldie. By the time I’m through with you, you’re gonna be my little hoof-licking bitch who won’t even have the balls to tell anypony who hurt you. And speaking of balls, I think I know just where I’m gonna rub those nettles first — Uh.”
Scootaroll froze in place, eyes wide, looking down Gold Watch’s body. Gold Watch looked where his captor was looking, and his coat went from pale pink to crimson. He was rampant, painfully erect, his cock twitching against the twine net.
“Uh, I didn’t, I mean — I wasn’t really—” Scootaroll sputtered for a moment. Gold Watch whined in pure humiliation, his cock hardening even as he wished it to wilt.
The pegasus grabbed a pair of scissors and cut Gold Watch away from his bonds. A moment later, they were both stood in the tent, staring at each other blankly.
“For the record, this wasn’t how I thought things would—”
“You son of a whore!”
Gold Watch tackled the pegasus so hard that both of them catapulted out of the tent in a biting, punching, wrestling whirlwind. They rolled across the grass until they came to a stop a minute later, both headlocking each other, with Scootaroll barely on top.
“You fucking soft-boned piece of midden if you tell anypony I’ll kill I’ll you oh Solaris I’ll you I’ll kill you—” cried Gold Watch.
“Dude I’m not gonna tell I’m not gonna tell dude, I’m — look, I’m gonna let you go okay? I’m gonna let go of you.”
“Let go of me,” spat Gold Watch, his lilac mane plastered across his forehead, “fucking let go of me now.”
“I’m letting go, I’m letting go.”
Scootaroll eased his grip off the earth pony’s neck, who did the same in return and sprang to his hooves, with hatred in his eyes. Gold Watch took a step forward and pushed Scootaroll with a hoof, then shoved with both hooves, sending the pegasus on his rump. Then he turned tail and ran, back through the poplar grove, away from Scootaroll.
“Wait, don’t go through—”
With a sudden crack, Gold Watch found himself hoisted high in another net trap. Scootaroll launched himself forward in a panic, fluttered up to the net, and cut the pony out with some effort. Both of them landed on the ground, panting.
“...how many of these traps did you set?”
“*pant* — uh, lots, I think. There’s a few pit traps too. Don’t worry, I left a way out though, just follow me through FUCK—”
After taking four steps to the left, Scootaroll disappeared through a thin layer of leaves and twigs on the floor. A minute later, panting, gasping, his wings fluttering madly, he lifted himself to the surface.
“Okay. Okay, shit. I can’t remember where I left it. Don’t worry though, you can see my traps if you look at the ground all carefully.”
At that exact moment, the sun dipped beneath the treeline, sinking the whole area in shadow. The ground became a dim muddle of browns and greens and greys.
“You are a moron.”
“Whatever.”
Gold Watch perked up. “Wait, why don’t you just fly us over the trees?”
“I ain’t slept in two days, I can barely walk straight!”
“You were planning to torture me for the weekend, you can’t be that tired!”
“I dunno, I was gonna nap on you or some shit, what’s with all the questions?”
Gold Watch let out a tired sigh. “Great. I’m stuck in a forest full of deathtraps with an idiot.” His stomach gave an angry rumble. “Did you at least plan on feeding me this weekend, you ass?”
“Yeah, uh, I’ve got some hay, some snacks and some soda in the other tent with the sleeping bags.”
“Wait, other tent? You brought two tents?”
“Yeah, the food and sleeping bags and my walkmare and stuff wouldn’t fit in the tent with all the toys.”
“You were going to sleep in the same tent as the pony you kidnapped? Didn’t you think I’d try to, y’know, escape?”
“I’d have put a leash on you or something, okay? You coming, or not?”
With a bitter sigh, Gold Watch followed Scootaroll back to the tent.
* * *
After the pair tore into a sweetroll and opened two bottles of carrot cola under the dim light of a torch, a silence fell over them. Scootaroll fidgeted his wings as Gold Watch stared darkly at the fabric of the tent. Scootaroll cleared his throat and then broke the silence:
“Look, I’m sorry about today, okay? I went overboard.”
Gold Watch didn’t even move, just continued to stare.
“After we get back, I’ll do something to make it up to you, okay? I can tune anything with four wheels, I’ve got a Sugarcube Corner loyalty card, and I could get you a Rainbow Blitz autograph no problem.”
The earth pony twitched, a few hairs of his slicked-back, white and lilac mane springing free.
“And I’m never going to tell like, anypony, about the boner—”
Gold Watch spun to face him, “If I even think you’ve told somepony, anypony about that, I will make it my life’s sole mission to bury you and burn everything you love!”
Scootaroll held up his hooves, “Easy, easy. I’m not going to tell anypony because that’d be a dickhead thing to do, way more than some childish prank—” he paused, images of bundled nettles and crude whips floating across his mind, “—spirited roughhousing, and I ain’t that much of a dickhead.”
“Midden, I know what ponies like you are like,” growled Gold Watch, “You’ll wait until the moment I’ve got my croup turned, and tell the whole damn town when you know it’ll break me.”
“Okay so you’re kinda crazy about this, so what if I tell you something just as bad about me, so neither of us can say anything?”
“What could you possibly tell me that would be half as bad as—”
“Rainbow Blitz once caught me sniffing his jockstrap.”
“...well that’s definitely a thing.”
There was a pause, until Gold Watch raised his eyebrows as if to say ‘continue.’
“I dunno if you knew, but I’ve always been a big fan of the Blitz,” said Scootaroll.
“I had no idea, honestly.”
“Well, I was. Anyway, last year, I was kinda too much a big fan of Rainbow Blitz. I was having a lame time at home, mom and dad were arguing all the damn time and there were bailiffs and shit, and Rainbow Blitz would always be cool with helping me about it, or letting me stay over when my folks just needed space or whatever. And like, he was really cool about everything, he’s the fastest pegasus alive, he knows like, everything about flying, he’s practically a Wonderbolt...
“This was just before I started to realize how awesome fillies and flanks and teats were and stuff, but I started to think... stuff, about Rainbow Blitz. Like, not that I was in love or anything, just that I’d really like to be, well, his. That I’d preen him, give him sports massages, do... other stuff, and basically be like, his apprentice of awesome, but more.
“And I kinda got obsessed with his stuff, and his grin, his house, his clothes, his smell, like, crazy-obsessed with his smell, and when I was round his house I’d just bury my face in his pillow, I’d ask to wear his baseball cap just so his smell would be near me, and then, well, I started sneaking into his laundry hamper...
“I remember the first time I found his jockstrap, because that was—” he paused a moment, swallowing, “—it was the first time I ever clopped. I imagined seeing him after a long session of training, splayed out on his bed, telling me to get him dressed and cleaned and telling me to only use my lips and tongue and — you get the picture. The second time I did it, he caught me. He stared straight into my eyes right when I had my lips pressed to that part of the jockstrap.”
“Huh. That works.” Gold Watch looked at Scootaroll, the venom leaving his eyes for the first time, “So I guess you’re not going to tell, then?”
“Hay no. Never.”
“Good. That’s good.”
“Yeah.” Scootaroll took a swig of carrot cola, frowning as a tiny trickle touched his tongue. Gold Watch’s bottle was equally empty. “Hey, you want another?”
“Yes please.”
Scootaroll cracked open two more bottles, passing one to the earth pony. He accepted it, and took a swig. They drank in silence for a while. This time, Gold Watch broke the silence.
“So what happened when he caught you?”
“He was good about it. Really good about it. He didn’t shout or freak out or tell my parents or laugh. Well, he didn’t laugh much, anyway. Told me he wouldn’t tell anypony, and then, he just kinda let me talk. I said I was having all these thoughts about him — like, not a crush, ‘cause he wasn’t a filly — and he just said that everypony gets crazy crushes at some point, that it didn’t matter if it’s a mare or stallion, and that it’s totally normal to act kinda silly when you first get one. He told me I was like the most awesome little brother ever, that he was flattered I’d think that way about him, and promised he’d take me to a gentlecolt’s club in a few years. Then we got ice cream and I spent the rest of the evening bugging him over what a gentlecolt’s club was until he told me.” Scootaroll paused contemplatively. “Y’know, come to think of it, I think that’s when I realised fillies were cool too.”
Gold Watch shrugged. “They’re alright, I suppose.” He flashed a thin smile. “But thank you. I appreciate it, I guess.”
“Yeah, well. Just this once.” He laid back and sipped his cola. “So what’s your deal?”
“My deal?”
“Yeah, your deal. Do you like colts, or colts and fillies, or do you not really know, or what?”
A hard expression set on Gold Watch’s face, and he looked away from Scootaroll. Then, he softened. “It’s... weird. Like, I’d go out with a colt or filly, but it’s more — cocks. I just think about cocks, a lot. And hooves. Cocks and hooves.” He turned to face the pegasus, “There, I said it. You’re the only pony I’ve told apart from Blue Chip.”
“Cool,” said Scootaroll. “So, you like cocks but you don’t really care about the dudes attached to them.”
“Well, no, but... kinda. Colts are nice and fillies are nice and both can be really cute, but they don’t lie awake at night fantasising about them, y’know? But kinda, yeah. I mean, if there was a filly with a dick, I think I still would.” His eyes went wide as he realised what he’d just said. “I mean—”
“I know exactly what you mean. Like, if Zephyr had a dick and wanted to do it? I’d be on her like down on feathers.”
“But — that’s messed up!”
“What, it’d be hot, you said it yourself.”
“Yes but it’s weird and disgusting and perverted! You can’t just act like it’s a totally okay thing!”
“We’re just talking, dude. It’s not like Zephyr actually has a dick.”
Gold Watch groaned. “See, this is — you just don’t get it, ‘cause all you need to think about is your skateboard or whatever. I’ve got to be involved in so much, and my family, and everything in Ponyville. I’ve got this town on lockdown! And, and, ponies need to know that I’ve got my head screwed on straight. I’m the face, Scootaroll. I’ve gotta be a big part of Barnyard Bargains as soon as I’m done with school, I’ve gotta get connections and speak to boring ponies at boring parties with bad food because those ponies can get you reams of paper at two bits less per kilo or tell you some banker is ripping you off or stop some crazy prosecutor from trying to put your uncle in prison for an accounting error, and, and—” he took a deep breath, his voice shaky, “you’ve gotta be normal for that. You can’t be some freak, some freak who gets boners—” he spat the word, “—at the thought of cocks or licking somepony’s hooves or having my balls tied up with string or being spanked with a lump of raw ginger shoved up my rump, you can’t, they’d eat me alive, I’d let down my whole family, and my mom...”
What might have been a sob escaped from his throat, and his eyes glistened in the torchlight. He looked down, at the empty bottle between his hooves. He didn’t protest when a warm, orange wing draped over his back.
“I was supposed to be normal,” murmured Gold Watch, “I had to be normal. But I’m disgusting. Forget going into business. If the ponies in this town knew what I really was, they wouldn’t let me go to school with their kids...”
“Goldie, that’s crazy,” said Scootaroll gently, “stuff like that is totally normal. Well, not so much normal, but lots of ponies around here are weird like that.”
Gold Watch looked up at Scootaroll, not moving away from him. “Y-yeah? Like who?”
“Uh—” the Cakes confectioners sugar Butterscotch’s novels Red Gala with that bull Cranky Doodle and Matilda in public they thought nopony would see Spines her collage of Elusive butt shots Daring Do fanzines under Blitz’s bed “—a lot of ponies, trust me okay?”
Ice blue eyes glared at him. “Midden. I said. Like. Who.”
“Like... it doesn’t matter, okay? Just lots of ponies.”
Gold Watch slumped again. “It’s okay, Scootaroll. I know you’re only lying to make me feel better.”
“I’m not — argh! I’m not lying, there are lots of ponies like that!”
“Like. Who?”
“Well.” Scootaroll paused. “Like me.”
“You told me about the Rainbow Blitz affair. That was ages ago, it doesn’t count,” sniffed Gold Watch.
“Duh, I’m over that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still think about freaky stuff.”
“...oh?” Gold Watch’s blue eyes shone in the light, and there was a soft curiosity in his expression that Scootaroll had never seen in him before.
“...yeah. Yeah. I mean, some of the stuff I like is kinda tame, but lots is freaky and nasty.”
“So what’s the tame stuff you like?” asked Gold Watch. Scootaroll barely noticed him shuffling a little closer.
“There’s the obvious stuff. Like kissing. Finding somepony, pressing them up against the wall or the floor, and making out with them for like, forever.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And cocks, I don’t think about them all the time, but licking one or letting somepony lick mine would be really hot.”
“Yeah...”
“And sweat, I’ve got a weird thing for sweat. Like, if we — if I’d just finished working out with somepony hot, and we start making out and I plant my nose in their neck and their fur is all damp and you can smell how hard they’ve been exercising...”
“Somepony stronger than you doing that, pressed on top of you,” added Gold Watch, “and you’re so excited that you don’t even notice their hoof drifting down your body until it’s right between your legs.”
“I dunno, personally I’d wanna be the pony on top, doing the pressing.”
“Y-yeah. What would you do then?”
“...I guess I’d kiss him”
Their noses touched first, still cold from the chilly evening air. They moved, a twitch, each taking a gentle whuff of the other’s muzzle. Their eyes drifted shut.
Two sets of lips melted against each other, hints carrot cola dancing between them. Gold Watch let out a shadow of a whimper as Scootaroll nudged him onto his back.
A second kiss, harder, as Gold Watch slid his hooves around Scootaroll’s barrel and pulled him down onto him. Their shafts were both throbbingly erect, snug between them, pressing into each other. Gold Watch could feel the heat of the pegasus’s cock through his own cock, and thrust his hips up as he slipped his tongue between his lips. The corners of his mouth turned up in a grin as Scootaroll grunted softly in response.
“Midden this is so wrong I shouldn’t be doing this,” whispered Gold Watch, as he peppered Scootaroll’s neck with tiny kisses, “I’m gonna feel so bad about this, fuck, I’m gonna feel guilty.”
“No, you won’t,” whispered Scootaroll.
“...you’re right, I won’t...” He giggled, and was muffled with another deep kiss.
Scootaroll thrust his hips, his shaft pressing and rubbing against his partner’s. Gold Watch twitched in response and tried to stop the pleasure he felt, tried to stifle the noise from his throat into a muted gasp, but couldn’t stop a full-throated, feminine moan from escaping his lips, or his tail from swishing up against Scootaroll’s balls. The moan ended on a squeak as the pegasus nipped his ear.
“...you moan fucking cute,” growled Scootaroll, thrusting down again.
“Yeaahhmmmfff...” He buried his face in Scootaroll’s mane, inhaling the scent of mechanic’s oil, unwashed hair, and sport deodorant.
Scootaroll got into a rhythm, humping the pony below him, their precum mixing between their cocks and running down to pool in Gold Watch’s belly-button. It wasn’t long before Gold Watch joined in to meet the pegasus’s thrusts, twitching his hips up in perfect sync.
Gold Watch came embarrassingly quickly, jets of thick cum spraying from the tip of his cock, spreading between their bellies, soaking slick and white into pink and orange fur. He wrapped all four limbs around Scootaroll and buried his face in the pegasus’s neck, mewling broken, barely coherent curses and praises as his lover thrust down onto him.
Scootaroll thrust for a minute longer before Gold Watch’s orgasm finished completely, and then sat back to admire his pale pink pony lover. Gold Watch was splayed out on his back, panting lightly, his usually perfectly-coiffured mane plastered across his forehead with sweat, his half-hard cock still twitching lightly, pale pink mottled with chocolate-brown spots, all slick with a sheen of his seed.
“...fuck,” whispered Scootaroll. Gold Watch gave something between a pant and a giggle, the corners of his mouth turning up ever so slightly.
A twitch, practically a thrum from his groin reminded Scootaroll just how turned on he was, and that he still hadn’t climaxed. He looked down. His own cock, onxy-black and achingly hard, stood to attention. The dark surface was marbled with streaks of Gold Watch’s cum, clinging to the tip and underside of the shaft where it had been thrust between their bellies. He looked at his exhausted lover, and a devious grin bloomed across his features.
“You got cum on my dick.”
“...hnuh?”
“I said, you got cum on my dick,” he repeated, “you little slut.”
Gold Watch said nothing in response, though his hips lifted into the air unconsciously.
“Come here, rich bitch,” said Scootaroll, “and clean my dick.”
With a tiny moan, Gold Watch rolled to his belly and crawled over towards Scootaroll, who sat up straight with his legs splayed outwards. Gold Watch moved between his legs, the stench of sweat and sex and Scootaroll filling his nose as he approached his target. He pressed his nose to the bottom of Scootaroll’s balls, pushing up against them, feeling their weight against his face, letting their heat flow into him, before enveloping one in his open mouth. He sucked it into his mouth, tasting sweat and skin, imagining all the rich seed within, before relinquishing it with a *pop* and taking the other between his lips. He felt a hoof being placed on his head, and blushed bright red as Scootaroll played with his mane.
Letting the balls drop from his mouth, he looked up at Scootaroll. The pegasus’s eyes were glazed, his mouth open ever so slightly, nodding unconsciously at the pony below him. Gold Watch darted forward, his tongue grazing Scootaroll’s balls, but pulled back with a playful grin. Scootaroll whined in frustration, and tried to push his lover’s head forward, but Gold Watch resisted, grinning ever-wider.
Before the soft “please” had even left Scootaroll’s lips, Gold Watch pushed forward and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to where the balls met the cock. The front of his mane touched a large glob of cum, which clung to the hair as he pulled back. As he looked up at Scootaroll once more, the ball of cum dripped from his purple-and-white mane down onto his forehead, where it ran down his nose and dripped onto his lips. As the sticky white seed bridged between his top lip and his bottom lip, his tongue flit out to taste it.
“More,” they both whispered.
Gold Watch trailed a long, languid lick up the length of Scootaroll’s shaft, letting his own seed pool on his tongue, until he reached the tip. He then wrapped his lips around the head, letting his tongue clean any stray semen off the top, then swallowed down the slick, salty mess. After placing a soft kiss on the very tip, he went down and ran his tongue along the shaft several more times, until every drop of cum had been cleaned away.
Scootaroll openly moaned as Gold Watch sank his mouth around the tip of his cock. His eyes rolled back as warm wetness enveloped him, his lover’s soft tongue massaging the shaft as ever more of it disappeared into Gold Watch’s mouth. He wanted more, just a little more, putting his hooves on the back of Gold Watch’s head and pushing down just a—
“*glok*”
Angry blue eyes looked up at Scootaroll, and he quickly withdrew his hooves. Gold Watch moved away from the cock, a thick rope of spit connecting his lips to the tip.
“That’s not cool.”
“Uh, sorry. Sorry,” stammered Scootaroll, “It just, uh, it felt, y’know, good. Really good.”
Gold Watch’s stern frown washed into a smirk. “Really good?”
“Really, really good. Awesome.”
Scootaroll could barely cry out as his lover stuffed his cock back into his mouth. The earth pony took more and more dick in his mouth, more than he could manage, choking and gagging as the head bumped the back of his mouth. He looked up at Scootaroll with glassy eyes and tears running down his cheeks, making lewd glugs as sloppy drool ran out from his lips and down the shaft, pooling on Scootaroll’s perfect balls.
Scootaroll tried to stop a moan of pleasure, but only delayed it, turning it into a drawn out, whimpering hiss. Gold Watch’s ministrations were sublime, warm, soft, slick and wet like every blowjob he had ever dreamed of, making up for inexperience with relentless vigor. He felt a finely-groomed hoof massaging the base of his cock, rubbing the sloppy mess of spit and want across his balls and up his shaft.
Gold Watch’s tail flicked across his back and into the air as he desperately humped the floor. Tears were running freely from his eyes now as he begged Scootaroll to come, begged him to fill his mouth with rich, creamy seed, let it run from his lips. His coiffure was a mess, hanging down in sloppy, curly bangs, a dollop of his own semen plastering his silver highlight to his forehead. He never took his mouth off the cock for a second, his pleas turned to incoherent mumbling between gags and gluks
“Ploaeth?” he mumbled, his lips stretched wide around the dick, looking into Scootaroll’s eyes. The pegasus gave a tiny nod, and Gold Watch drove his head down, almost but not quite pushing the tip past his tonsils.
Scootaroll came with an embarrassing squeak, filling Gold Watch’s mouth with seed. Though he was expecting it, the force took Gold Watch by surprise, who pulled up as another spurt went into his mouth. As the tip left his lips, the next shot arched high and splashed above his right eye, dripping down his forehead and cheek, and glueing his eye closed. The last few jets were weaker, flowing out onto the bridge of his nose and onto his lips and cheeks.
He looked up at Scootaroll through his open eye. The pegasus was breathing hard, his eyes lidded, looking down at his lover with amazement. A drop of semen ran from Gold Watch’s lips as he closed his mouth and swallowed the cum, taking two gulps to down it all.
“...you cum too much.”
“Hnuh.”
“It’s all over my face.”
“Uh.” Scootaroll blinked. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” said Gold Watch, waving a hoof. “Do you wanna pee on me?”
“What?”
“I said did you bring any wet wipes?”
“I think there’s some in my preen kit, just lemme check...”
Gold Watch stole a glance at Scootaroll’s haunches as the pegasus rummaged through his knapsack. He pulled his head out, a small foil packet in his mouth. He opened the packet, took a small, damp sponge from inside, and brought it towards Gold Watch’s face.
The earth pony sniffed at it. “Wait, does that have alcohol in it? I don’t like using products with alcohol on my face, it dries out the skin and coat and makes me look — muhff!”
Gold Watch scowled but didn’t protest as his lover wiped away the stray spooge and sweat from his face.
“There,” said Scootaroll, “That’s a bit, uh, yeah. Cleaner.”
“Thank you,” deadpanned Gold Watch. He paused, as if stunned. “I’ve made a huge mistake.”
“Dude.”
“I’ve just ruined my life, this is the biggest scandal of my political career and it hasn’t even started yet—”
“—dude, no, dude—”
“—I’ll be blackmailed, I’ll end up falling from grace and working as a gigolo in uptown Fillydelphia and — what are you doing?”
“I’m giving you a hug, dude,” said Scootaroll, his wings and forelegs wrapped tightly around Gold Watch. “Nopony finds out about whatever unless you want them to, okay? And don’t worry. Ponyville doesn’t do sex scandals, dude. Your mom has been sleeping with Mayor Daily since forever, and nopony even cares.”
“What.”
“Yeah, even when Bright Eyes caught them in public nopony did anything, it didn’t even make the Ponyville Gazette and they print any old midden — Ow! Why’d you hit me?”
“You take that back,” growled Gold Watch, “My mom’s a saint!”
They quickly descended into a confused and outraged wrestling match. There were all the hallmarks of a sloppy teenaged wrestle — a few pins here, a few clotheslines there, a belly-to-belly suplex, a near-miss rear naked clam jam — before they ended up laid next to each other, panting, bruised and exhausted. The air reeked of unwashed sex, sweat and exertion.
“How...” huffed Scootaroll, “How did you not know that, Watch? You’re Prince Spycraft von Gossiptown The Fourth, you know all of the rumors in Ponyville, you made half of them.”
“They’re mostly... mostly true.”
“You — hhah — you ass, when I went to hospital for a strained wing you told everypony I got my dick stuck in a skateboard wheel again.”
“Yes, that was hilarious...”
“That was eight years ago, everything we did then is embarrassing now, remember the stuff you did eight years ago?”
“Hey, I was normal eight years ago, I didn’t do anything okay I can see from your face that this isn’t going to fly,” said Gold Watch.
“Pancake batter.”
“It smelled like my moisturiser okay!” snapped Gold Watch. Straightening himself out, he continued, “Maybe it’s best that some things stay buried. I’ll try to keep a, uh, leash on the information I pass along from now on. Will that be satisfactory?”
Scootaroll chuckled. “It’s a start.”
A thin smile bloomed into a grin across Gold Watch’s face. “Yes, it is.”
Both of them yawned simultaneously.
“We should sleep,” said Gold Watch.
Scootaroll climbed into his sleeping bag, but paused before zipping it up and looked at his lilac lover. “You wanna, uh, share?”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll only share a sleeping bag with Bluey. I sleep better on my own anyway.”
“Oh. Okay, that’s cool,” said Scootaroll, the faintest hint of disappointment in his voice. “Wait, you share sleeping bags with Blue Chip?”
“We always share beds and sleeping bags when we’re camping or sleeping over. We’re slumber buddies.”
“...five minutes ago you were dribbling my cum and what you just said is still the gayest thing to come out of your mouth all night.”
A grin lit Gold Watch’s face as he trotted over to Scootaroll. He planted a soft kiss on the pegasus’s forehead, and zipped up his sleeping bag before returning to his own.
“G’nite, jizzmane,” whispered Scootaroll.
“G’nite, dickwings,” whispered Gold Watch.
THE END