Happiness is a warm pony

by Snowy Flanks

First published

Pinkie is on a mission to find a very special and very lonely being in need of some happiness, and nothing is going to stop her

Pinkie is going on a very special mission and she can't tell any of her friends. She doesn't know where her quarry is or how she will react when Pinkie arrives. She might even never return home, but the party pony doesn't not care. She has a job to do

Happiness is a warm pony

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The pony had been busy for many days. First taking a week long vacation from her employers, then buying a train ride to Dodge Junction, with a quick stop over at Cherry Jubilee’s farm, then the long hike through the ‘collar’ the only saddle in the Macintosh Hills. Before her was the Badlands, an arid untamed land full of Curi Beetles, Wasa Bees, Capsi Bats and Jalapephants, but none of these animals were the reason that the pony had traveled such a great distance without telling anypony. She had something much more important in mind and was not going to let one of the most inhospitable localities in the world stop her.

Pinkie was excited, her journey was almost half over and no pony had tried to stop her yet. The Cakes had been more then willing to give her her first vacation in eight years, she had managed to get her ticket without raising suspicion and nopony had tried to stop her during her trek. The changeling invasion in Canterlot had forced her to be subject to multiple magic scans on the train and in Dodge but she had passed them all with ease. Now as she walked along the double baked ground, feeling the sweat stick to her coat she was glad she had taken the time to pack. Plenty of bottles of water and Gummyade to stay hydrated, a map of the area and a compass for navigation, one of Rarity’s giant hats to keep the sun off of her face and a white linen peplo to protect her skin. She didn’t know where to go now that she had arrived at the Badlands so she just walked down the path and kept her eyes and ears open for anything to might help her.

After three hours of walking and five empty bottles of water, Pinkie saw a herd of Curi beetles drinking at a water hole. Once they had tramped away, Pinkie trotted up to the water. After refilling her empty bottles and washing her face, she saw what she had been hunting for, a sharp edged set of hooprints leading to the east.

“YAY! Party time is coming up soon.” Sang Pinkie as she started to run towards the east. The light got darker as she entered a canyon coated in shadows. Pinkie welcomed the reprieve from the harsh sun and kept following the path, now there where plenty of hoofprints on the ground but she still had not found exactly who she was looking for. She couldn’t find any cave that they might be hiding in and she was sure that the tracks had lead her to this place. She was about to give up and go back to the main path when she heard a light buzzing coming from high above her. She looked up very carefully and after a moment, she saw one of the shadows move.

“Hi! I can’t see you very well up there can you come down here for me?” asked Pinkie as she waved enthusiastically. When the shadow did not move Pinkie just smiled and reached into her bag and pulled out several balloons. She quickly inflated them and tied them around her waist. After a moment, she jumped up and floated towards the ledge where the shadow moved. When she arrived, she found more hoofprints but nopony. Not to be deterred by her quarry disappearing Pinkie started to look even harder, pressing her muzzle into every crack no matter how small it might be. Once the entire ledge had been search with no sign of life, Pinkie called out again.

“Come on! I know you have to be somewhere near by. I just want to see you for a little while. I promise I won’t hurt you, please?” called out Pinkie, then she waited but nothing responded.

Pinkie turned around to see a pitch-black face, with solid blue eyes, a curved horn and fangs staring back at her.

“Hi there!” said Pinkie with a smile “I’ve been looking all over for you can you please show me where your warren is?”

The changeling just stared at her before turning around and walking towards one of the boulders on the ledge. He somehow managed to squeeze behind it and disappear. When Pinkie walked over to check, she discovered a cavern that had not been there when she had been searching. Without a moment of hesitation or fear, Pinkie stepped right into the cave.

The cave was much moister and mustier then Pinkie would have expected after being in the desert. It was pleasant to experience and a good reprieve. As she got farther away from the opening, Pinkie noticed that the walls were beginning to glow an eerie green. Also, there was a buzzing coming from down the tunnel. Pinkie began to skip with glee since she was so close to her goal now. When she turned a corner she was confronted by four changelings buzzing there wings angrily showing there fangs.

Pinkie tilted her head a little before putting on a big smile and leaping on the second changeling to the left.

“It’s you, the changeling who was doing all my friends during the invasion! You were almost a better me then me,” said Pinkie with a smile and a tight hug.

The changeling shuttered a little and tried to squirm away but couldn’t escape Pinkie bear hug. The other three changing did not know what to do. They tired to pull her off but she did not budge, they tried to magic her off but even that didn’t make her release her grip. Finally, the trapped changeling wrapped its hooves around Pinkie and hugged her back. When he let go so did Pinkie.

“Sorry I can’t play right now, but I have to go talk to somebody right now, so sorry about this,” said Pinkie before she reached into her bag a dropped one of her party cannonballs on the ground.

There was a powerful flash of light and the ball burst with streamers, confetti, balloons and cake batter. The changelings were covered in seconds but Pinkie laid flat on her stomach to avoid being hit. Quick as she could she ran down the path heading towards the loudest sound of buzzing. She saw changelings in side paths but did not stop to wave, she had a mission and it was time for her to complete it. Finally, she found who was looking for. Her target was facing away from the door admiring some crystal formations. Each one was of a nature scene. Pinkie could see a butterfly, a tree and a little dragon sleeping on a rock.

“Hello Queenie Cheeselegs!” shouted Pinkie as the bounded into the room.

“WHO DARES?” billowed Chrysalis as she turned around.

“Look how big this place is! It is really windy I bet the tunnels go on forever and ever! Do you all of the changelings live here? Did you make this place all by yourself? You have really pretty hair. I really had to travel a long time to find you, I had to walk and walk and walk and walk and it was really hot. Oh, but what do you changelings eat? Love? Can you eat any other kind of emotions, what does sadness taste like? I you have nice eyes colours, I really, like pink and pinker but the green-blue you have looks really beautiful. I was hard to find you home, but I think it was clever to build in side the crevice it keeps everything nice and cool, can you even feel heat with you shell like this, do you have to polish them so they stay black like that? Hey, how do you fly with holes in your wings?"

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE PONY?” shouted Chrysalis as she sent a command for her guard to come to capture Pinkie.

“And that's when I said "oatmeal?! Are you crazy?!" I mean oatmeal works well if you have a lot of bug bites or scratchy mark on your skin but trying to smooth rocks with it is really hard to do. When do you get holes in your body like that, does it make you whistle when the wind blows? Do your legs taste like Swiss cheese? My friend Rainbow Dash has a tail that looks like Skittles but when I tasted it, it tasted all dusty and hairy and Dashie was really mad at me, I tried to tell her I only wanted a little nibble but she said ‘Pinkie that’s worse!’ Say how did your horn get like that? It looks soooo cool! I wish Twilight’s horn looked like that, all she has is a short dull one, is it true what they say about horn length? And is that thing on your head a crown or antennae? If it is a crown, can I try it on? It looks like it would be a lot of fun to wear. Are you the only changeling that can talk? Are all of your little ones mindless drones? Are you ticklish? Can you eat anything other then emotions?” continued Pinkie heedless of the danger she was in.

“PINKIE!” shouted Chrysalis loud enough to stop Pinkie.

“Yes Chrysalis?” asked Pinkie.

“What are you doing here?” sighed Chrysalis as she rubbed her forehead.

“I came to visit you silly,” said Pinkie with a hoof wave.

Chrysalis was shocked at the statement but recovered quickly “What?”

“You left before I had a chance to welcome you to Equestria.” said Pinkie.

“I didn’t leave, Princess Credenza and Shining Armoire used there magic to banish me and my children!” shouted Chrysalis.

“When you were trying to crash their wedding, why didn’t you just ask for an invitation?”Asked Pinkie.

“Why did you come to visit me Pinkie? Didn’t you fight me back in Canterlot?”

“I wanted to throw you a party because I’m your friend,” said Pinkie with a leap.

“We are not friends Pinkie! You are my enemy. Now when my guards arrive, you will be taken to the cells and used until you are drained of all your emotions,” said Chrysalis with a cackle and drones began to descend.

Pinkie’s hair deflated “I am your friend Chrysalis I just came because you looked so sad back in Equestria.”

Chrysalis raised her hoof and the drones stopped advancing “What are you talking about?”

“When you were talking to everypony, you said you came to Equestria because you were so lonely, and that made me really sad, so I thought I would come over as throw you a cheering up party so that you would no be so lonely” said Pinkie.

Chrysalis sneered at Pinkie “What kind of cruel prank is this?”

Pinkie’s mane became flat and she began to cry, “It wasn’t a prank I just wanted to visit you.”

Chrysalis tried to ignore it but Pinkie’s voice was so shrill that pierced right through her “Ok, Ok you can have a party, just stop crying!” shouted Chrysalis.

Pinkie stopped crying and her mane went poufy again “Oh thank you Chrysalis” said Pinkie as she wrapped her hooves around Chrysalis neck.

Chrysalis was shocked; Pinkie was pressed up right against her, overwhelmed with her sheer joy with the chance to through a party. Her emotions were pouring right into Chrysalis, filling her with energy. It wasn’t like the love she got from Shining Armour; this was much more sweeter and easy to digest. Chrysalis didn’t know what to do.

“We’ve got to have streamers, and cake, and balloons and have to invite all of the changelings.”

“Most of my changelings aren’t free thinking enough to even realize they are at a party, but I will summon the ones that will, and we can’t digest cake; to much sugar,” said Chrysalis as she tried to peel Pinkie off of her. Changelings began to come in and out of side caverns.

Pinkie looked saddened that not every changeling could come and that there would be no cake “But what are they going to eat?”

Chrysalis gave off a small laugh “Pinkie if you can just keep up what you’re doing right now, they will all be fine.”

Pinkie was happy to hear this “Yay! Party time!” she picked up a few party balls from her bag and threw them high into the air. They exploded and rained party supplies down on the changelings.

“OK everybody it’s time for a party!” said Pinkie popping up between to changelings and giving them a hug. The changelings looked a little put off by Pinkie’s antics but with a glance at their queen, they reluctantly tried to have fun. Pinkie didn’t have any games to play and since she was the only food source in the room, there were no snacks or drinks to eat. Nevertheless, none of this stopped Pinkie; she just went around giving everybody hug and asking them how they were. Most of the changelings didn’t know how to react so they just gave her crooked smiles. One of them how ever did something else.

“How were you able to recognize me?” asked the changeling with a tilted head.

“What do you mean, Poly?” asked Chrysalis.

“The Pink Pony was able to recognize me from the insertion and able to pick me out from a group.” Said Poly.

“Oh that’s easy; you all don’t look the same at all. Anypony could tell you apart if they tried to,” said Pinkie as she gave Poly a hug from behind.

Chrysalis stared at Pinkie for a moment, who gave her a big smile that showed all of her teeth, then started to laugh, first a little then more and more until her laughter filled the while room and began to echo down the halls. Some drones began to buzz around her concerned for her but she waved them off.

“Oh Pinkie you are truly one of a kind do you know that?” laughed Chrysalis as she hid her mouth behind on of her hooves.

Pinkie smiled “That’s what my Granny Pie told me Chrysi.”

Chrysalis frowned “You don’t know me well know to call me Chrysi Pinkie Pie.”

“Sorry Queen Chrysalis, I was just being friendly,” said Pinkie with a big smile and a quick hug.

Chrysalis just gently pried Pinkie off her and smiled again, every moment Pinkie was here she was feeding the hive, and they didn’t even have to trick her, all of it was freely given. How the pony was not getting tired from all the draining was not something she could figure out, if anything she seemed to be getting even more energetic as the party went on.

Soon all of the changelings had been hugged and hugged again and Chrysalis stomped one of her hooves to get every bodies attention. “Pinkie thank you very much for the party and for the visit but I am afraid you must leave now.”

“But I don’t want to leave, I thought you said I had to stay” said Pinkie with a tilt of her head.

“If I kept you here, Celestia would try and find you and I am not strong enough to fight her off, not for the small amount of energy you have given me,” said Chrysalis with a small huff.

Pinkie just smiled “If you really think that Chrysalis, I guess I will have to go” said Pinkie as she turned around and started to leave.

Chrysalis gave out a snort “I can’t have you getting lost and being eaten out there. Poly, Lema, escort her out of the cave and fly her to the pass in the mountain range. Make sure she doesn’t get hurt I don’t want the pony princess to have an excuse to attack us.”

Both changeling gave a quick salute and followed Pinkie out of the cavern. Chrysalis sent out another commanded and the hall was soon empty the last traces of the party being taken away by the drones. When she was alone Chrysalis allowed herself a private smile.

“Well Pinkie, it may not have been the most usual to feed by children but I have to say, it was one of the most fun.” Whispered Chrysalis quietly before laughed, “Perhaps someday you can come and feed us again.”