> The Embassy
>  by bossfight1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Prologue, Part 1: Evaluation
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Embassy

Prologue, Part 1: Evaluation

Baltimore Hilton, August 2nd 2013, 9:00 PM

With a groan that steadily increased in volume I lurched into my hotel room, tossed my bags to the side, and collapsed into my bed. My legs felt like they deflated as I squirmed my way up the bed to rest my head on my pillow.

“Bronycon...” I moaned, my face pressed into the pillow. “Bronies, good... Walking for ten hours, baaaaad...”

After spending a minute debating whether or not I should just pass out right there, I rolled onto my back and emptied my pockets. My cell phone, my Horde insignia wallet, my iPod, my inch-thick emerald stone, any receipts that I--

“The hell?”

Frowning, I took the spherical emerald and held it up above my head. It was rough, and had a strange, faint glow. Squeezing it in my palm I could feel a deep warmth. “Where did you come from?” I murmured, placing the stone on my bedside table. Sitting up in bed, I pulled out the event listings for the next day.

                -                -                -                -                -

The usual mental clusterfucks I call ‘dreams’ were interrupted by an overwhelming sense of mental clarity, often absent whenever I dreamt. Before I could get to the second ‘t’ in ‘what the fuck’, the dream melted around me, and I was left in complete darkness. Oddly enough I could look down and still see myself as though the place was well lit. It was like the place around me was merely a black background.

“...’kay?” I made to step forward when a flash of light blinded me. When I finished rubbing my eyes and cussing, I looked up and gasped softly. There, clear as day, was Princess Luna (Heh, ‘clear as day’... you get it? ...You get it-- never mind.) She stood roughly as tall as me, her mane of a pure night sky more breathtaking than anything the show could depict.

“...Hello...” I said. I found it odd that I could think so clearly in what was clearly a dream, yet I hadn't woken up. Typically whenever boring old logic shows up, the dream party is immediately and irreversibly ruined.

Luna smiled and approached. “Good tidings, Mr. Creed. Worry not, your dreams will resume once I am finished here.”

“Finished with what?” I asked, yet she didn’t reply. Her horn began to glow, and she touched it to my forehead. For a moment it felt like my brain was being copied and dumped into her head. As quickly as it started, though, it stopped. Luna stepped back, satisfied.

“Thank you, Aaron.” She turned away, and I felt something pulling me backwards. Before I was dropped into dream again, Luna turned back to me. “You should probably keep the stone...”

                -                -                -                -                -

Baltimore Convention Center Food Court, August 3rd, 1:00 PM

“I goddamn LOVE funnel cake...” I said before taking another vicious bite out of the dessert before me, not caring for the mess of sugar getting on my clothes.

“I gathered...” my friend Gabe chuckled, taking a sip from his drink. Gabe and I had only met the previous day, yet we were already swapping Steam names, Twitter, Facebook, just to keep in touch. That’s part of the joy of BronyCon, isn’t it? Actually making friends out of your obsession with a show about friendship?

“I dunno, man, I just found it in my pocket last night...”

Perking up, I turned and noticed three guys at the neighboring table. The guy in the middle was showing them an oddly familiar stone...

“Huh...” I said, powdered sugar flying out of my mouth.

“What?” Gabe said, looking up from his phone.

“Those guys over there...” I nodded towards them. “That stone they’re looking at? I found one last night in my pocket...”

“Where’d you get it?”

I shrugged. “Couldn’t tell ya... Did someone slip it in there?”

Gabe peered past me. “...There’s another one...”

I turned around and spotted the stone in question, and scanned the crowd. “...And another one... and another... There’s two right there...”

“What’re they for?”

I scratched my chin. “I remember once in elementary school, at lunch they put stickers on the bottom of some trays... Then they told everyone to look under their trays, and the kids who had stickered trays got a prize, like a basketball or something... Maybe that’s the same idea here?”

Gabe nodded. “Makes sense... Wonder what the prize would be...”

                -                -                -                -                -

Creed’s House, Rockport, Maine, September 2013

“You'll never take me alive, coppers!” Gabe yelled through his mic without any trace of irony as his character poked out of the car window and shot out the front tires of the pursuing police. The car skidded and flipped onto the sidewalk, reducing several civilians to a bloody pulp. As I laughed hysterically, trying as hard as I could not to crash the car myself, Gabe’s character sat back in the passenger seat. “That’s Steelport’s finest, ladies and gentlemen!”

“Serve and protect!” I replied happily.

My grin faded when I noticed the car glitching between lanes, and the controls became unresponsive. “Laaaaaaag...” I droned through my mic, doubtful that Gabe could hear me. After a minute of irritating lag, the game finally threw up its hands and outright disconnected me. Sighing, I looked to the modem at the computer behind me and noticed the flashing yellow light, indicating a failed connection. I pulled out my phone and texted Gabe. “‘DC’d... Sorry... I’ll get back online... once I finish... beating my modem... with a garden hoe...’” I murmured as I typed out the text.

After a minute Gabe replied back, “Actually, I gotta go pick up my sister from school. Let’s play again later. /)”

I stowed my phone and spun around in my office chair as I looked around my room. My bedroom was really more of an attic, with a low slanted ceiling I spent many a morning banging my head against. Other than that, though, I loved my room. Space to myself, everything I needed short of a bathroom, and my parents were down in Florida, leaving the house entirely to myself a majority of the time. This house was my little corner of the world. It was on a dirt road in a thickly wooded area, where no religious bible-pushers dared to tread. The quiet neighborhood was well worth the fact that we were miles from any stores.

My gaze fell upon the old green stone on my bedside table, gathering dust in the month since I’d come home with it. I stared at it for a moment before standing from my chair, collapsing on my bed and picking the stone up. I rolled it around in my hand, feeling the curved surface in my palm. “Pretty fancy paperweight, if nothing else...” I muttered out loud. I rolled to the side and made to set the stone back on my table.

A sudden warmth in my hand made me stop. I peered at the stone and noticed a soft glow emanating from it. “Um...” The glow brightened quickly, and the stone soon became red hot, causing me to drop it to the floor, hissing in pain. Peering over the side of my bed I watched the stone glow brighter and brighter still, until I couldn’t look directly at it anymore. “Okay, this is a little weird...” I said loudly, partly addressing the stone in vague hopes of getting it to stop.

Imagine my surprise, therefore, when the glow suddenly stopped. Raising an eyebrow I peered back at it. I barely made a confused “Huh?” before the stone suddenly flashed and I blacked out.

                -                -                -                -                -

With a snort I woke up, finding myself lying on what felt like a stone floor. The room I was in was dark, save for a couple lit candles on either side of a door a short distance away. Taking shuddered breaths, I sat up. Where was I? Was I kidnapped? Why?

I felt in my pocket and found my cell phone. I frowned; why would kidnappers leave my phone with me? I decided to wait a bit, hoping someone would explain things. I stood up shakily, sweating profusely. “Hello?” I called out.

The door suddenly swung open, causing me to jump back yelling “Fuck!!” A brown-haired woman, roughly in her thirties, carrying a manilla envelope and wearing casual business attire, stood in the doorway.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” she said cheerfully. “Would you come with me, please?”

“What is this?” I asked, hand on my phone in my pocket. “Where am I?”

“We will explain everything, just come with me, Mr. Creed.”

“How do you know my name?” I asked, a bit more forcefully than I intended. “What is this, some government-related shit?”

The woman shrugged. “Sssssssorta?” She said sheepishly. She stepped into the office-like hallway behind her and gestured for me to follow her. After a few moments’ hesitation, I followed her out of the room. The building we were in was very unremarkable, with plain white walls, dull gray carpeting and an overwhelming sense of “someone, someday, will go postal here”. The woman led me to a room at the far end of the corridor, with nothing save for an empty table and two chairs.

The woman gestured for me to sit in one chair while she sat in the other. I sat down uneasily, not taking my eyes off of her. The woman opened the envelope and pulled out a reasonable amount of papers, as well as what appeared to be parchment straight out of Hogwarts.

“My name’s Shannon,” she said cheerfully, searching for a specific form. “I’m here to help you with your application.”

“...For...?” I said, gesturing for her to continue.

Shannon giggled. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you outright. Just fill out these forms...” she laid a few basic forms in front of me and gave me a pen from the envelope. “Don’t worry if you can’t fill everything out, just fill out all the basics and we’ll be all set.”

Raising an eyebrow at her I slowly scooted towards the table and began filling out the form. It wanted my name, my date of birth, my hometown, my parents’ names, my siblings’ names, yet for the life of me I couldn’t tell why they needed all this information. They already knew my name, it was safe to assume they knew plenty of other things about me...

Eventually I finished the form and laid the pen to the side; my aching hand reminded me that this was why I preferred typing, other than my atrocious handwriting. Shannon took the form, still smiling that creepy-ass grin. “Thanks! Now, Mr. Creed...”

“Just call me Creed. That’s what my friends prefer.”

Shannon gave a small, happy gasp. “You consider me a friend?”

“Um...” Oh, joy. I thought.

“I can tell why you were chosen-- oop!” She covered her mouth and giggled again in that “Moira Brown from Fallout 3” way that was getting a little irksome. “Almost let it slip! Now, if you’ll just wait here for a few minutes, we’ll wait for the others to finish their applications and we’ll explain what you’re doing here.” She stood up, taking the forms with her and heading for the door. “I’ll be back to get you soon, Creed!” She shut the door behind her, leaving me alone. I waited about twenty seconds before trying the door; locked. With a sigh I sat back at the table.

I sat there drumming my fingers against the desk for a couple minutes before pulling out my phone. It still had a decent charge, but wherever I was, it didn’t give me any reception; absolutely zero bars. “Calling for help is out...” I muttered. Placing my phone on the table I began rubbing my temples, trying to remember what had happened. “Okay... was playing GTA with Gabe... My modem became an asshole and disconnected me... I... fiddled with that rock!” I sprang up. “That rock! Augh, I should have thrown the fucking thing away! I wouldn’t be in this mess... whatever kind of mess it is...” I slouched back on the table; whatever they wanted, they were at least being pleasant about it... On the surface, at least.

After five minutes without anyone coming in I started playing Angry Birds, battery conservation be damned. Most of my apps needed a signal, like Steam or Twitter, so my options were limited. After about ten minutes there was a knock at the door. It opened and Shannon came through, still grinning ridiculously. “Thought I’d try not to scare you this time,” she laughed.

“Thanks...” I said, warily. I stood up, stowing my phone in my pocket. I wasn’t exactly subtle about it, but she didn’t seem to care. “We all set?”

“Yep! Just follow me and you’ll be briefed.” She turned and led me out of the cramped room, down the hall.

“...And if I say ‘no’ to... whatever you’re briefing me on?” I asked cautiously.

“We’ll send you home, to either think it over or forget about all this. Don’t feel like we’re forcing anything on you, Creed!”

“Other than being ripped from home and put in a locked room...”

“The locked room was just a precaution. As for the ‘ripped from home’ part, it was the best way we could get you here discretely. What we’re doing here isn’t exactly public knowledge yet. Trust me when I say, you won’t be pressured in the slightest to take part in our little project.”

We went through a door to a stairwell, where Shannon led me upstairs. “So, you said there were other ‘applicants’ here...” I said. “Where did they come in? I was alone in that room when I woke up.”

“They landed in separate rooms. We felt if you woke up in a dark room with several strangers, not everyone would be... civil, or trusting.”

I nodded; I might’ve panicked and decked someone who happened to be in the same boat as me. “Fair enough.” We reached the top floor and entered a large conference room, with a long table and multiple chairs on either side. Only four chairs were occupied, with a few people looking at us like they were hoping we were the ones delivering answers. There was a guy with short blonde hair, a black guy with glasses, a red-haired girl with a sort of hipster look, and a guy with a Smooth McGroove-type beard and haircut. Giving an awkward wave I sat down close to the door.

“Right!” Shannon said. “I think that’s everyone! Don’t worry, we’ll explain everything in a few moments. Be right back!” With that, she turned and left the room. After a few moments I spun in the wheelie chair towards the other people.

The awkward silence that followed was one for the ages; a few minutes spent twiddling thumbs, clearing throats and evading eye contact. Finally, the blonde guy spoke up. “So, no one has a clue?” Everyone present shook their heads. The guy leaned back in his seat. “Shoulda thrown that rock away...”

“Where’d you get it?” the black guy to my right said.

The first guy coughed. “A-At a con, last month...”

Wait a minute... I thought. “Baltimore?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. The guy perked up and nodded. “Bronycon?” I clarified.

The guy opened his mouth to sigh in relief when everyone else spoke up. “Dude, you two are bronies?” The guy to my right said. “Me too!”

“Same here!” The red haired girl said. A wide grin spread across my face; maybe this wasn’t such a bad day after all...

“I’m Louis,” the blonde guy said.

“Derek,” the guy to my right said, holding a fist out for a brohoof.

“I’m Aaron,” I said, meeting his fist.

“Dana,” the redhead said, scooting forward in her chair.

“I’m Colin,” said the guy with the beard so thick you could lose your keys in it. We chewed the fat for a few minutes before the door opened and Shannon entered.

“Great to see you all getting along!” She said cheerfully. She turned to watch another woman follow her into the room. She looked to be in her thirties, dressed in a business casual attire similar to Shannon’s, and had a kindly, almost maternal demeanor. Yet it was her hair that almost made my jaw drop. It was ludicrously long, with shades of blue, green and pink, and billowed in a non-existent wind. A very obvious answer was screaming to be heard in my mind, yet for some reason it didn’t occur to me.

The woman smiled warmly at us, folding her hands behind her back. “I thank all of you for your patience...” At hearing her voice the ‘obvious answer’ in my mind was now setting off fireworks, screaming into megaphones, doing everything in its power to draw attention, yet I was still unable to clue in. “I understand the means with which we brought you here were... more than a little suspicious, but believe me when I say we could not risk word of our work here getting out. I know you all have many questions, but first I ask you hear me out.”

When no one answered, she took a breath. “If I am to explain your purpose here, I will need to show you something... This will prove to you that what I say is true, but it may be... shocking. I ask that you all remain calm, and act in a civil and reasonable manner at what I am about to show you.”

If she starts undressing, I’m out of here, my inner joker said.

The woman took a deep breath and shut her eyes in concentration. Shannon let out a small cough, “You all might want to look away a bit.”

“What?” I said before my whole concept of reality was crumpled up and used as toilet paper.

The woman’s eyes opened, revealing a blinding light. I held up a hand to avoid getting blinded, and watched as she raised her arms. A shimmering, high-pitched hum began ringing in my ears as the woman actually began levitating a few inches off the floor. The light seemed to spill from her eyes and begin spilling down her face, all over her body, completely enveloping her. It was when I caught a glimpse of her multi-colored hair that the obvious answer in my mind finally let out a single, piercing scream.

Celestia!!

The woman seemed to explode in light; Louis and I stumbled out of our chairs and made to duck beneath the table. When the hum subsided, I slowly took a tentative peek out from under the table. This time my jaw actually did drop.

There she was; about seven feet tall, her mane even longer than when she was a human, and her very coat somehow giving the brilliance of the sun. This was, no bullshitting, Princess Celestia.

She gave her wings a brief stretch, as though she had them folded uncomfortably beneath the clothes she wore moments ago. “I must admit, I’m pleased to see all of you taking this so well...” she said. “We had some nurses on standby in case this revelation was too much for you.” She giggled.

None of us may have been screaming, but we were still more than a little dumbfounded. Louis and I hadn't bothered to get out from beneath the table. “How is this possible...?” Dana said softly.

Celestia gave a soft laugh before her horn lit up. We flinched at the further display of magic, yet calmed down when a large red cushion appeared at the end of the table. Celestia sat upon the cushion, then tilted her head at Louis and I. Hesitantly we climbed into our seats, not taking our eyes off of her. Celestia turned to Shannon. “Why don’t you go tell the chefs that they can bring the food in whenever they’re ready?” Shannon gave a thumbs up before heading out the door.

Celestia turned back to us. “Twelve years ago, my dear cousin, Princess Brushstroke, discovered this world while exploring the dreamscape once explored by my sister Luna. She found the dreams of humans, young and old, and discovered their potential for the harmony that has protected our home of Equestria for millennia. She showed this world to me, and we agreed humans should have the opportunity to become a part of Equestria.”

“Yet when we arrived on Earth in secret, we discovered that the human heart, however bright, has a tendency to be surrounded by darkness. We learned of humanity’s... darker aspects; war, bigotry, greed, hatred... I almost turned around right then, hoping to never look back. But...” Celestia smiled. “Brushstroke was persistent. She insisted that humanity could earn its place in Equestria... She learned that for every act of cruelty, there is an act of kindness... Every act of greed, an act of generosity. Brushstroke theorized that, if humanity could be shown what Equestria stood for, it would learn to follow our example.”

“Perhaps it was fate when we then discovered a franchise on your world... My Little Pony...” she chuckled. “Brushstroke’s talent has always been with writing; creating worlds that would astound and immerse the reader... We found that... ‘MLP’, as you call it, bore enough similarities to Equestria that we could simply use that brand to create what you would believe is fiction, when in reality it is anything but.”

A soft cough caused Celestia to pause. She looked up at Louis, who was tentatively raising a hand. She nodded, allowing him to speak. “Uh, yeah, if you mean the first three generations...” Louis said tentatively. “...You think that... well, to be frank, that garbage, other than some similarities, is like the Equestria we’ve come to know?”

Celestia laughed. “I said ‘enough’ similarities, I didn’t say they were exactly alike. And yes, we did observe the first three... ‘generations’ of MLP. Brushstroke felt the first generation was rather... ‘average’, and the other two...” She gave a soft shudder. “Were somewhat painful.”

Huh, even the Gen 4 ponies didn’t like the past three generations? Ouch... I thought.

“In any case, Brushstroke took on a human guise; a way with which she could earn a name for herself in the world of cartoons and animation...”

Wait... I thought. Another obvious answer was beginning to make some noise...

“She would obtain the rights to the show, she would show mankind the true Equestria, and she would see how mankind would respond.”

It can’t be... I thought.

“And when your subculture, the...” she laughed. “‘Bronies’, came to light, we knew that humanity was more than deserving of a chance.”

The obvious answer in my mind had somehow gotten its hands on some guns and was firing wildly into the air like it was a Texas wedding.

Celestia’s horn lit up again for a moment, then the light faded. “Your fandom was more than just a group appreciating a decent show.”

The door opened. In walked a red-haired woman in her late thirties, a wide smile on her face. She walked up to Celestia and wrapped her arms around the Princess’s neck in a hug. She released the hug and turned to us.

“It’s great to meet you guys,” said Lauren Faust.
> Prologue, Part 2: Integration
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prologue, Part 2: Integration

Lauren seemed to shrink a little under the combined looks of shock, disbelief, and fanboyism. I myself felt a single drop of drool leak from my lip and drop onto my lap, snapping me out of my trance. As I wiped my lip I took note of the day’s events; I was pseudo-kidnapped by the princess of the ponies I’d spent the last two years worshipping, and I had learned that the ponies I once thought were fictional were anything but.

Derek to my right took a steadying breath. “I, I don’t...” He put his face in his hands.

Lauren straightened up. “I’m sorry, I hope you guys won’t mind, but I just wanna get a bit more comfortable...” With that, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Oh boy... I thought, looking away to avoid being blinded again.

Lauren’s eyes opened, revealing a blinding light, the light enveloped her, and there was another explosion of light; this time we kept our cool for the most part. The light faded, and in Lauren’s place stood her pony avatar; a pure white alicorn with a mane the same shade of red, and an inkwell cutie mark.

Lauren- or Brushstroke, as Celestia called her- made a sigh of relief like she’d been cooped up in a car for the past few hours. She turned and nuzzled her wings affectionately. “I missed this...” She faced us and lit up her horn; another cushion appeared beside Celestia, and Brushstroke sat down. “So... I assume you guys have a lot of questions.”

“The whole thing...” Louis blurted out. “...was more or less a documentary? The world, the characters...”

“All real,” Brushstroke said, nodding. “Every episode was a true story. We discovered Earth about nine years before the Summer Sun Celebration; we found the lessons of Twilight Sparkle to be the perfect way of conveying Equestria’s message to humanity. So, we told her story; Celestia would send me reports on events transpiring in Ponyville, as well as a copy of Twilight’s friendship letters, and I would turn the story into a full fledged episode.”

“But you left the show after season one...” I said, but I quickly clammed up when I realized I’d interrupted her.

Brushstroke smiled patiently. “I had to leave because the bronies had surfaced; this was the sign that humanity was more than willing to accept Equestria’s lessons, and I needed to work out a way to find bronies willing to come to Equestria. I explained everything to my fellow writers at the HUB; Meghan, Amy, Mitchell, everyone. I showed them who I was, what I was sent here to do, how important the bronies truly were... I shared my communications with Celestia with them, told them that Twilight’s lessons needed to be shared. They promised they’d take it from there, to the best of their ability.”

“Why the bronies?” Derek asked. “I mean, we enjoy the show because it’s... well, an amazing show, but I’m not sure how that makes us special.”

“Because you are willing to openly embrace the magic of friendship, while many other humans take it for granted,” Celestia explained. “Even if it seemed ironic at first, we could tell you were, over time, taking the lessons of Harmony to heart.”

I slowly nodded; before becoming a brony, if anyone ever brought up the ‘magic of friendship’ with a straight face I would have laughed them out of the room. Now, however... I knew that it was friendship, love and harmony that made Equestria just so... appealing. It wasn’t just the characters I’d love to hang out with; it was the overall sense of peace that would make living there a real joy.

“The fact that you bronies exist is proof that humanity is ready for Equestria,” Brushstroke said. “...Or at least, soon will be.”

“We wish to slowly, discreetly, begin integrating human and pony alike into each other’s society,” Celestia said. “While your kind is aware of us, very few ponies are aware of you. If we were to suddenly drop humanity into Equestria, or ponykind on Earth, the shock of two societies being so suddenly melded might produce some... less than favorable results.”

“That is why you are here,” Brushstroke said. “Should you accept what we offer, you will be the first humans to step foot in Equestria. You will start small; only a handful of ponies will be briefed on the truth of your presence at first, but over time we shall allow the truth to be told. Once we know for certain ponies are ready for humans, we will reveal ourselves to your leaders. We will begin diplomatic relations, and pony and human societies will finally become intertwined.”

The door opened, and three white-dressed people each pushed a cart loaded with food into the room. For a moment I wondered how they got the carts up the stairs, but shrugged it off as the work of magic; I then felt weird for so quickly adjusting to the existence of magic. The caterers seemed unphased, or at least unaware of the presence of two alicorns in the room as they handed out the food. They mostly served a variety of desserts and some sandwiches that seemed to be appropriate for a pony diet. As the caterers left I stirred my food absentmindedly with my fork, my brain demanding to be let out for a smoke break. I was going to be an... ambassador?

At the merest thought of the word ‘ambassador’ I sat up. “Um, I know absolutely nothing regarding politics...”

Brushstroke giggled. “Let us worry about the political side of things. Your job is to show ponies that our cultures can easily meld.”

“How were we chosen?” Louis asked, gesturing to the humans sitting at the table. “Did you choose whoever got those glowing green rocks?”

Brushstroke gave a sheepish smile. “In all honesty, our method of choosing applicants was more random than we would have liked...”

I raised an eyebrow. “So, you just shoved those rocks into random people’s pants at Bronycon?” I said with a smirk. Brushstroke blushed and, I swear to god, did the ‘squee’ noise that puts a smile on any brony’s face.

“Well, the stones are used as beacons for our magic,” Celestia explained. “We can use them to summon you to places, or enter your dreams...”

My stomach did a couple somersaults. Louis dropped his fork. “Luna...”

“I dreamed of Luna, the night I found that rock...” Derek said.

Celestia nodded. “She entered the dreams of every brony we gave a rock to, and evaluated each of you; she read who you were at heart, and how likely you could easily blend in in Equestria. She found a great deal of worthy candidates, so we simply...” Her voice trailed off.

I smirked. “You drew our names out of a hat, didn’t you.”

Celestia gasped with mock-indignation. “No!” She paused and smiled. “We pinned your names to a wall and threw darts.” Everyone in the room laughed.

“So, if ponies aren’t gonna know we’re aliens, won’t they be a little confused that there are... aliens walking around?” Louis asked as the laughter died down.

Celestia shook her head. “You won’t exactly look like aliens...”

Everyone clued in to her hidden meaning. “You’re making us ponies...” Colin said.

Brushstroke nodded. “With our magic we will make you into the ponies you are at heart. There is no way to tell what you will become; whether you’ll be a pegasus, unicorn or earth pony, what your cutie mark will be, not even the color of your coat or mane... What you become will be based on who you are.”

At this point I could feel my brain trying to kick its way out of my skull, demanding a breath of fresh air. Derek held up his hands. “Okay, let’s see if we got this right; you want to turn us into ponies, bring us to Equestria with you, and see if we can get along with your people?”

Brushstroke laughed. “Pretty much, yeah.”

“What about our families?” The red-haired girl asked. “Our homes?”

Celestia nodded sympathetically. “We have already prepared what you call a... ‘cover-up’...” she chuckled. “Sounds shadier than it really is, but, there it is...”

“So, a lie...” Derek said.

Brushstroke nodded. “Should you agree to our proposal, your friends and families will believe that you are all volunteering to aid a burgeoning village in South Africa. They will still be able to remain in contact; any mail they send will be forwarded to Equestria.”

“When can we come back?” Dana asked.

Brushstroke bit her lip. “Opening a portal between our worlds takes a lot of magic; I’m sure once we begin diplomatic relations with your people, our combined resources will make a sustained portal more plausible...”

Sounds familiar... I mused.

“Our next portal opens next week,” Brushstroke continued. “We can only open a portal for roughly three days every month or so. This is, by no means, a one way trip.” I leaned forward in my chair; honestly, this was all sounding quite appealing. I was never one for homesickness.

“What can we bring?” Louis asked. “I’m guessing guns are out of the question...”

Brushstroke laughed. “While we will not allow human weapons into Equestria, anything you can carry, you can bring with you. We just ask that you be careful who sees it in the first few weeks. Once the knowledge of humanity is made public, you can ease up a little.”

“Where will we be staying?” I asked, though a small part of me knew the answer.

“Ponyville,” Celestia said with a smile. We all bounced in our seats with silent glee. “We felt it would be the most agreeable for you.” She was right.

“You will be living in the newly built Ponyville Embassy,” Brushstroke explained. “The ponies believe that you are dignitaries of a distant land that is seeking to become part of Equestria.”

“Which is... sorta the truth...” I muttered, nodding.

“The Embassy is already furnished and ready for you to move in,” Celestia continued. “It is also built with the electrical sockets you have here. We understand that you might have a hard time parting with certain human commodities, mainly your electronics...”

And video games, I thought, feeling a pang in my stomach at the thought of not being able to play WoW anymore.

“...and you will be without the... ‘internet’, at least for a time...” Celestia continued.

I gave a mild groan that was slightly louder than I meant; both princesses turned to look at me, and I shrank slightly in my chair. “Well, personally, I can part with it...” I muttered. “It’s just... well, the internet is why we’re here today, isn’t it?” I looked at everyone else at the table, who were all nodding. “I mean, we’d all think we were alone in liking what was, ostensibly, a little girls’ show.”

Brushstroke nodded as well. “We are working on finding a way to create a network between Earth and Equestria, don’t you worry.”

I leaned back in my seat again, my heart swelling with joy; this all felt too good to be true. Every brony’s dream, laid out before me, the only drawback being that I’d be without YouTube and fingers for a while... I looked at everyone else in the room; they all seemed to have the same attitude.

“While it seems you all are willing to become Earth’s first unofficial emissaries to Equestria...” Brushstroke said. “I’d advise you don’t jump in so quickly. I thought it would be easy leaving home to come to Earth, yet every day my heart ached, I missed it so much...” She paused to nuzzle Celestia affectionately, who responded in kind. “Yet it was worth it in the end... in more ways than one...” She smiled, and somehow I could tell what she was thinking of, or rather who; her husband, Craig.

“As I said, the portal opens next week,” she continued. “You should have plenty of time to consider our proposal, though it seems some of you have made up your minds. At three o’clock on September 23rd, a taxi will arrive at your homes. The driver will wait ten minutes, then depart...” (...Brain, what the hell? I thought.) “It will bring you to the site where we are opening our portal. I would advise you pack whatever you need or wish to bring before then.” With that, the princesses stood up. With a glow of their horns, the cushions vanished, and the pair turned to leave. Brushstroke gave us all an appraising look before heading out the door. Celestia turned as well.

“I have high hopes for all of you...” She said with a smile before departing. Shannon entered the room as they left, yet even her own grin couldn’t surpass the ones we all bore.

“Well, glad to see that went well!” She said. “If you’ll all come with me, I’ll bring you all back to the rooms you arrived in!” We all stood up, some of us grabbing a few extra desserts from the catering (myself included, because, goddamn those things were delicious) and we followed Shannon down the stairs.

As we returned to the hallway, Shannon turned and walked backwards to address us. “If you guys have any questions, just take your stones... stop snickering, Creed...” she said, mock-sternly at me. “...and give them a tight squeeze... I mean it, Creed!” The smile on her face said otherwise. “We will give you a call, and we can talk about any questions or concerns you might have. Ah, here we are!” We’d arrived at the door to the room I’d woken up in. “Creed, since you arrived last, you can go first.” She pulled one of multiple folders from her clipboard and gave it to me. “This is the brochure for that ‘volunteer work’ your parents will think you’re going on, to help sell the story.”

Nodding, I approached the door. I stopped to shake Shannon’s hand; a part of me felt guilty for feeling annoyed at her chipper attitude earlier. “Thanks for this... opportunity.” Shannon smiled and pulled me into a sudden friendly hug. As she stepped back I turned back to the others. “I hope to see you guys next week,” I said before turning and entering the dark room. The door shut behind me and I was left in near complete darkness again. I bounced on the balls in my feet, yet a part of me wondered how I’d deal with the next week, knowing what lay ahead; like a child struggling to fall asleep on Christmas Eve, knowing what awaited them the following morning. The floor beneath me suddenly lit up, a bright white rune revealing itself. There was a flash of light, and I blacked out again.

                -                -                -                -                -

I woke up with a jolt in my bed, banging my head on the low slanted ceiling again. Swearing, I rubbed my forehead and slowly sat up. The memories of the past hour stubbornly remained, way too vivid to pass off as a dream. As I swung my legs over the side of my bed I became aware that I was gripping something. I looked down and gave a delighted laugh at the folder Shannon had given me.
> Prologue, Part 3: Departure
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prologue, Part 3: Departure

Creed’s House, September 23rd, 2:55 PM

“Are you sure you have everything?” Mom asked.

“Mom, if you ask again, I’m hanging up,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Listen, it’ll be alright. Susan said she’d check on the house now and then, I spent the past week packing, and I’ve locked all the doors and windows.”

“Okay, you know me...” Mom said over the speakerphone.

“Yes, unfortunately...” I said with a smirk. My parents were delighted to hear about my “volunteer work”, if only to get me out of the house. They were eager for me to find work, anything to get me away from my computer. Finding a job around Rockport was freaking impossible; anywhere hiring either never called back, or had a job that gave me stomach pains just thinking about it.

“So when will the cab get there?” Mom asked. “You live on a dirt road, he might have a hard time finding the house...” She was interrupted by a honk outside.

“Oh, whaddya know...” I said. Despite assuring Mom I had everything, I did my sixth sweep of my room, making absolutely certain I wouldn’t leave anything I’d planned to bring. “All right, my cab’s here, I’ll call you when I get a chance, all right?”

“All right, honey, have a safe flight!” She said. “Love you!”

“Love you too,” I said before hanging up. I took a breath and kept scanning the room. “Okay, let’s see; human clothes of questionable necessity, phone, electronics, chargers, emergency cash, laptop, toiletries, batteries, snack for the road, house keys, wallet, passport,” I stopped to take a breath. “Journal, stationary, books... christ, glad I have a big duffel bag... Anything else...” I snapped my fingers, getting that nagging feeling I was forgetting something. My eyes fell on the green rock on my bed. “Oh, might not wanna forget you...” I grabbed it and threw it into my ‘quick-grab’; basically, the bag I throw my essentials (wallet, phone) into for easy access while travelling.

I turned off the light and grabbed my doorknob, but stopped; this was it. This would be the last time I’d be in this house for a while. When I walked out that door, I’d be brought to Equestria... There really was no better word(?) for it; I was, as Pinkie would put it, ‘nervo-cited’. I took a steady breath before bolting to the entry way. I picked up two of my four bags and walked out the front door.

An unassuming cab was in the driveway; dirtied with the passage of many miles driven, and with no taxi-brand to identify it. I was made uneasy by the lack of any license plates, but assumed there were measures taken to prevent any legal trouble. I hurried to the cab, and the trunk opened. After another trip inside the house and stowing everything in the trunk, I got ready to get in the back seat. I stopped, a niggling fear in the back of my mind. I held up a finger to the driver I’d not gotten a look at yet and hurried back to the house, double checking every room, door and window before finally feeling satisfied. I went to the front door, triple-checked that it was locked and, with a sigh, shut it.

I ran back to the cab and got into the back seat. “Sorry, I’m leaving the house alone, needed to check everything...” I said as I shut the door.

“It’s no problem, sir,” the deep-voiced driver said. I turned to get a look at him and jumped in my seat with a “JESUS!” Sitting in the driver’s seat was a pony; a unicorn stallion with a white coat, brown mane, and wearing a chauffeur's uniform. “Are you all set?” He asked with a smile.

I stammered, gesturing between him, the steering wheel and the windows. “How the-- what-- how-- the pedals-- WHAT?!” I took a breath. “How are you driving this thing? And what if someone saw a pony driving a cab?!”

The unicorn chuckled. “Don’t worry, Mr. Creed, we’ve got things figured out. We’ve enchanted the windows to show a human driver. As for how I’m driving...”

The unicorn’s horn lit up, and a yellow field of magic enveloped the parking brake. The car shifted into drive and pulled out of my driveway, making me feel somewhat guilty for doubting the pony’s driving ability. I made to buckle up, but first looked out the rear window. I watched as my house shrank in the distance before the car pulled off the dirt road and onto the pavement. With a sigh I buckled up and faced the front again. “So...” I said. “What’s your name?”

“Stoker,” the unicorn said. “Normally around Canterlot I chauffeur the magic-driven chariots, but Princess Celestia conscripted me to drive you to where the portal is.”

“And where’s that?”

“In a small city you call ‘Sand Point, Alaska’,” Grey said cheerfully.

I blinked several times. “...Soooo... We’re gonna be driving through Canada... to Alaska... in a cab.”

Grey shook his head. “Nah, not all the way. We’ll be there in a few moments, actually...” I raised an eyebrow as he pulled onto a dirt road, leading into a thickly-wooded area. As the car rolled to a stop, Grey’s horn remained lit as he began looking in every direction. After a few moments the light faded. “Good, nopony’s around... Er, nobody.” He popped open the glove box and withdrew another stone similar to my own, only this one was a bright red. His horn lit up again and he touched the tip of it to the stone. The rock instantly lit up and began spinning, rapidly increasing in speed. Remembering my history with rocks like this, I squinted and looked away.

A sudden, violent jolt made me jump; I fell to my right and smacked my head against the window. Cursing, I rubbed the right side of my head. “Christ, what was...?” As I opened my eyes, my jaw dropped; gone was the wooded drive we had parked in. We were now in an empty parking lot just on the edge of the ocean. Down the shore I could spy a small harbor town, the docks lined with covered boats.

“Welcome to Sand Point,” Grey said. “Population, 976.”

“Small town...” I mused, still rubbing my aching head.

“Yep; perfect for our little project. You were the last pickup I had to make today, I just have to ‘cover our tracks’, so to speak.” He turned around to face me. “Bring your stuff into that warehouse behind us.” I turned around and spotted the rustic warehouse in question. “They should be all ready for you in there. Good luck!”

I turned back and held out a hand. “Thanks...” He placed his hoof in my hand and we shook. I hopped out of the car and pulled my stuff out of the trunk. As I hefted my two heavier bags up I heard a soft whooshing sound. With a flash the cab vanished behind me; it disturbed me just how comfortable I was getting around all this magic. I carried my bags to the warehouse and banged on the garage door. “Uh, hello?” I called.

The normal door to the side opened, and a familiar face peered around it. “Hey, Creed!” Shannon said cheerfully. “Glad you could make it!” She hurried out the door, ran up and threw her arms around me in a hug.

“Same here,” I said, hugging her back with slightly less enthusiasm.

“Here, I’ll get the rest of your things, you just head on in, we’re already sending people through!” Shannon ran over to the rest of my bags and hoisted them up with surprising ease. I walked through the door she came from and passed through a small office. Heading through another door we found ourselves in the warehouse proper. The place was empty, save for a large stone structure that was exactly what a portal should look like; like Stargate, only with runic stones in place of all the science!

“Ah, welcome!” A familiar voice said. I turned and smiled when I saw Princess Celestia approaching me. I gave a modest bow, which she laughed off. “It is good to see you here, Creed.”

“I feel good being here...” I said. “Listen, I, uh... I really don’t how to...” I took a breath. “Thank you for this chance. I know you might still have some doubts...”

“Not as many as you may think,” Celestia said with a wink. She turned to regard Shannon, who was still easily hefting my bags towards the portal. “Let’s let Creed go first, Sugar Cane.”

“Wait, what?” I asked, looking at Shannon. She smiled and nodded.

“My real name is Sugar Cane,” she said. “I grew up in Fillydelphia.”

“You’re a pony?!”

Shannon nodded eagerly. “Yep!” She laid my bags on the ground and flexed her fingers. “And I gotta say, these things are just great! It took me like a week to get the hang of it, but now I’m worried about going back to hooves after seeing just how awesome they are!”

Celestia chuckled. “Don’t worry, Sugar, you’ll have plenty of chances to be a human again.” She turned back to me, donning a serious look. “Now, Creed, while I appreciate your enthusiasm, understand that travelling between worlds is not exactly... subtle. Portal energy is rather unstable, which is why opening one for long periods is so difficult.”

I frowned. “I’m not gonna come out on the other side with three extra arms, am I?”

Celestia giggled and shook her head. “No, but the experience might be disorienting, frightening even. I know you’ve already made up your mind by coming here, but if you wish to reconsider...”

I shook my head. “No, this feels... right. I... I think I’m ready.”

Celestia smiled and turned towards the portal. “Once you arrive on the other side, you will become a pony. We have ponies on the other side who will help you acclimatize to your new form.”

I laughed. “You know, after what Lauren-- er, Princess Brushstroke told us, about not knowing what we’d become, I’ve been trying very hard not to have a preferred pony type. How do I know I’ll even become a pony on the other side? What if I’m a griffon or something?”

Celestia laid a foreleg across my shoulders. “Only one way to find out!” She said encouragingly.

I nodded and stepped towards the portal. I could feel its energies causing the hairs on my arms and neck to stand up, like I was approaching a nexus of socks rubbing against new carpet. Each step made my heart race faster; my inner coward started screaming that I say ‘Fuck it’ and run out the door, but the rest of me quickly stuffed him into a burlap sack and started beating him with baseball bats.

Finally, when I was literally inches from the shimmering portal, I stopped. My brain hesitated to make me take that last step. I turned to Celestia and Shannon/Sugar Cane, who gave me patient smiles. I turned back to the portal, grimaced and screwed my eyes shut.

“Goddammit!!” I threw myself in.

                -                -                -                -                -

All I could remember from the portal itself was a swirling mess of arcane energies like I was being brought to Christmas Town; other than that, though, I only focused on my panicked screaming. I felt like I was miles underwater, the pressure squeezing me from all sides, but at the same time I felt my spine being stretched like silly putty. The discomfort was either the feeling of being brought between worlds, or my body being morphed into that of a pony, possibly both.

“OHDEARJESUSTHETWISTINGTHEHEATOHDEARGODWHATTHEFUCKWASITHINKINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...”

                -                -                -                -                -

Wham!

I landed hard on a stone floor, feeling my arms and legs as though they’d been twisted and forced into the wrong positions. I lay there groaning, my face remaining in an expression of pure pain.

“Excuse me, are you alright?” A female voice a few feet away said.

“Not particularly...” I said strainfully. I slowly rolled to my left side and made to took in my surroundings. Instead I caught a glimpse of a plain gray hoof where my left arm should have been. I stared at my new limbs, my new body, the black tail twitching madly, the itching hint of a mustache at the end of my muzzle (fucking MUZZLE)... I angled my head towards my flank; it seemed to depict a book with a game controller on the cover. Makes sense, I thought. Always wanted to be a game writer...

I noticed I didn’t have wings, meaning I was either an earth pony or a unicorn. Slowly, tentatively, I reached a foreleg up towards my forehead.

I felt something protruding from my skull. I nudged it several more times to make sure it was there, and gave a laugh of joy. “Unicorn! I’m a unicorn!!”

The female voice from before gave a laugh, reminding me of her presence. I looked up, and my jaw dropped at the purple alicorn mare standing a few feet away. Princess Twilight Sparkle opened her mouth to greet me, but in a moment of fanboyism I threw myself onto my hind legs on instinct.

“I MADE IT!” I screamed proudly. “I’M IN EQUESTRIA--”

Whump. The faceplant kinda dampened the mood.

> Day 1: Orientation
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 1, Part 1: Orientation

Ponyville Train Station, September 23rd, 2013, 4:00 PM

The train rumbled to a stop at the platform. I hadn’t looked away from the window for the entire ride from Canterlot, so when I finally turned my head away my neck felt stiff and sore. With a small gasp of pain I reached up and rubbed my neck. I stopped and looked at my hoof, still fascinated by my new body. Barely an hour ago I’d had fingers, and while being a unicorn would have its advantages in performing tasks that required a bit of dexterity, I still found myself missing my digits.

Hell, I was already kind of missing home. Mainly my family and friends; my older sisters both lived in Oregon, and had called to wish me luck with my ‘volunteering’. Gabe and my other friends were sad to see me leave the ‘civilized world’ (‘civilized’, in this case, meaning ‘place with internet’), but they supported my decision. I wondered how everyone would take the truth once Celestia and Brushstroke revealed themselves to the world. Would they be mad at me for lying? Angry that I so eagerly went so far from home? I shook my head; Cross that bridge when you come to it, Creed...

“Okay, everypony, we’re here!” Twilight said happily, standing up from her frontmost seat. I looked up at her and smiled; I couldn’t maintain even a slightly dour attitude here, knowing we’d be doing what I didn’t think was possible. I turned in my seat and looked at the other bronies.

Derek, a pegasus with a dark blue coat, white mane and stethoscope cutie mark, was busily flexing his new wings, eager to tear up the skies. Louis was a unicorn with a bright yellow coat, a brighter mane and a wrench mark. Dana was an earth pony, her mane color unchanged, a pure white coat, and a gavel mark. Colin was an earth pony as well, with a build similar to Big Mac’s. He had a light brown coat, a creme-colored mane and a cutie mark of a drawing easel. His magnificent beard had carried over between forms.

Shakily, I pulled myself from the seat and stood in the aisle. The more I walked, the more natural walking with two new legs felt. It did feel somewhat irksome when my tail kept swinging and brushing my hind legs, but the alternative was keeping my tail rigid while walking, and I couldn’t be arsed. Carefully I followed Twilight out of the train car, and onto the platform. While we’d had our car to ourselves, we weren’t alone on the train. Other cars emptied, ponies hefting their luggage out and greeting their relatives and friends. Our own luggage was going to be sent to Ponyville ahead of us, to give us time to adjust to our new forms without having to deal with several bags at once. We passed the ticket booth and got a good view of Ponyville proper.

The town looked bigger in person; I couldn’t recognize any of these buildings, and the population seemed to be a few digits bigger than the “small village feel” the show portrayed. As Twilight stepped off the platform, I stopped, looking at the ground in wide-eyed terror. “Shit.”

Twilight turned around. “Is something wrong?”

The others stopped behind me; I could tell they knew what the problem was. “Stairs,” I said, terrified.

“Oh, Claptrap, I know your pain...” I heard Louis say behind me.

“What’s wrong with stairs?” Twilight asked, approaching. She looked at us gaze down at our new hooves with uncertainty, and her features lit up with understanding. “Oh...”

“Maybe I should have played more ‘Clop’,” Colin said.

“Okay, okay...” I said firmly. “Let’s just try to...”

I barely made the first step before, in a painful blur, I tripped and ended up with my mouth full of dirt and a massive pain in my back. I spat out my mouthful of soil. “Fucking OW...” Twilight suddenly rushed up, making shushing noises. I raised an eyebrow.

“Ponies don’t... really use... profanity...” she said hesitantly, looking around to make sure nopony had heard.

“OH! Uh--” I said before a massive weight fell on my back, knocking the wind out of me.

“Sorry...” Louis groaned as he rolled off my back. The pair of us stood up and moved away from the stairs, clearing what appeared to be the landing pad. I looked to Twilight again.

“So, wait... You know profanity here?” I asked.

Twilight nodded. “Yeah, they’re considered to only be in the vocabulary of minotaurs, griffons, and the like... A pony uttering those words might draw a bit of attention. You guys need to look as pony-like as possible for the next couple months.” As if on cue, Dana tripped down the stairs and landed painfully. I could practically feel the stares of the nearby ponies burning into the back of my head.

Colin managed to shakily get down the stairs without tripping, to everyone’s amazement. After Derek simply jumped from the landing, slowing his descent with his wings, we headed into town. Despite Twilight’s status of Princess, she didn’t seem to be drawing that much attention, save for a few friendly greetings and waves. We appeared to be near the town center; a dozen stands lined the sides of the road, the vendors selling various goods or chatting happily with their friends and customers. Near the town hall I could make out a familiar red stallion selling apples. My smile seemed to widen a couple inches. I even think I caught an “Eeeyup” as we passed.

Rounding a corner we spotted an unfamiliar building. It was a white building, two stories tall and with a rounded roof. The front steps had tall pillars on either side of the double doors. A sign stood some distance to the building’s front left, reading ‘Ponyville Embassy’. “This is where you’ll be staying,” Twilight said, leading us up the front steps and inside.

The first room looked like an office lobby, with a desk at the front, various benches on either sides of the walls, and a spiraling staircase into the upper level. A pair of guards stood on either side of the desk, doing their usual ‘palace guard’ glares at some spot slightly above them. As Twilight passed them they each sprang into a sudden salute without a word. Twilight rolled her eyes at them as we passed and approached the staircase.

Thankfully, a mouthful of dirt motivated me to be more careful this time. Though it took me about five minutes I managed to get up the staircase with no broken bones. Upstairs looked like a college dorm, with several rooms and a common room. At the far back looked to be a decent kitchen area with all the fixings. In the center right of the common room were several cushions, all gathered in front of a table and...

“A TV?” I asked. It was a 48” widescreen, too; how the hell did they manage to get this here?

Twilight seemed to bounce at the sight of it. “Oh, yes! Princess Celestia and Brushstroke had a few things from Earth brought here for you guys. You won’t have any... cable, I think you call it, but you can use it to watch your movies and the like. I’m just so excited to see what you guys brought from Earth, I can’t wait to start learning your culture! I want to know what music you have, what stories, philosophies, history...” She descended into a rant that Pinkie Pie would be proud of. We let Twilight ramble for a minute before she finally slowed down, giving a sheepish smile. “Well, heh, your things have already been brought from Canterlot. Mr. Creed, this is your room...”

She used her magic to open a door to the room at the corner of the floor. She shut the door behind me as I entered, and I got a look at my quarters. My bags were placed on a plain yet comfortable looking bed, there was a desk against the corner next to the window with an oil lamp, quill and inkwell, and a decent-sized dresser next to the door. It was basically the plainest dorm room imaginable, but it didn’t bother me; I had simple standards for living conditions. I nodded approvingly. “I like it. Guess I should start unpa--”

I suddenly felt the pain of missing my fingers flare up. I looked at my hooves, then at the zippered bags on my bed. I glanced up at my horn, but didn’t like the idea of cremating myself on my first day in Equestria. “Hoo, boy...”

                -                -                -                -                -

Thankfully, using my mouth to move the lighter stuff was quite simple, and I at least had the promise of learning magic to manage bulkier loads. I still had to wait to get my laptop out, but that was hardly my biggest priority.

With my things all unloaded I threw myself onto the bed, bouncing on it experimentally. Just touching the thing made me want to doze off. I lay back on my pillow and gazed at the ceiling. I tilted my head at the lighting fixture in the center of the ceiling, and looked near the door. On the wall next to it was a light switch. Sitting up, I realized there were a few electric plugs around the room.

I’m pretty sure ponies had access to electricity already, I thought. That or they’ve snuck a few bits of human tech here like that TV. I hopped out of the bed and noticed a small mirror on top of my new dresser. Instinctively I made to inspect it, but stopped. This was the first time I’d see my pony self. I worried that my brain would freak out about it, but slowly decided to bite the bullet. I peered into the mirror.

Thankfully, my brain had prepared to face the transition. I had a thick mustache and what appeared to be a goatee. My eyes were a bright shade of red, and my black mane was a bit of a mess. While I wasn’t freaking out, the face I was looking at did not feel like my own. “Maybe someday you won’t look like such a stranger...” I muttered.

I turned and approached the door, but stopped. It had a round doorknob. Why in the hell would there be doorknobs in a society deprived of fingers? “Crap.” Resigning myself to the imminent slapstick, I leaned forward and wrapped my gob around the metal knob. It tasted like it had been recently washed. Gagging, I bit down and tilted my head to turn the knob. After a painful minute of my teeth failing to grip the knob, I managed to turn it enough to be able to open the door.

Spitting the taste out of my mouth, I entered the common room. Twilight was alone there, fiddling with the TV remote in her magic, scrutinizing every button, trying to discern their meaning. I cleared my throat and got her attention. “Oh, hi! All settled in?” She asked.

I nodded. “Nice digs we have here; you guys really went the extra mile for lil’ ole us.”

Twilight giggled. “Really, it’s nothing compared to how much our peoples could gain. Think about it! Pegasi aiding humanity in maintaining weather, magic helping to cure human diseases, human technology advancing ponykind’s by hundreds of years, over the course of a few months!” Her eyes glimmered with the promise.

“That’s assuming we can play nice with the ponies, which is a safe bet,” I said. My eyes fell on the remote. “You’re trying to figure that out, aren’t you.”

Twilight looked at the remote again. “Some of these buttons make no sense...” she murmured. “What does ‘VOL’ mean?”

“Oh, joy...” I muttered, not quietly enough, judging by Twilight giving me a deadpan look. I braced myself for Basic Tech 101 when a door opened and Colin came out.

“Hooves suck,” he said simply.

“Agreed,” I deadpanned.

“You’ll get used to them,” Twilight said cheerfully. “Once everypony’s ready we can talk about what we’ll be doing here.”

“Sounds good,” Colin said as he sat on a cushion next to me. “By the way, I don’t think I’ve heard about what you do for a living, Aaron.”

“Just ‘Creed’, thanks,” I said. “And I was hoping I’d be a game writer. Help the industry finally break free of all that ‘games aren’t art’ bullsh... crap. And also, hopefully avoid making certain... mistakes.” A vision of me hurling my copy of Mass Effect 3 out the window, screaming in rage, flashed in my mind. (Yes, I was still bitter. AND STILL AM.) “So, what about you?”

“I grew up in Michigan,” Colin said. “I graduated from Columbia College with an art degree. My passion’s always been drawing...” he peered at his hooves. “...which I guess I’ll have to learn how to do with my mouth now.” (I forced a ‘that’s what she said’ back down my throat.) “My passion really started after ponies came into my life.”

I nodded. “Lots of bronies say the same thing.”

Twilight tilted her head in thought. “Huh... We’ve had a real impact on you guys, huh?”

We nodded. “Honestly, that’s what Celes- uh, the Princesses were hoping for, wasn’t it?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said. She looked honored at the whole ordeal. “Still... I didn’t think Equestria would mean so much to you.” We smiled at her warmly. “What brought you guys to the show?”

“In all honesty?” I asked, rubbing the back of my head. “Curiosity. It’s what brought a LOT of folks to the show. We just heard that the latest incarnation of My Little Pony actually didn’t suck, that it was made by a really talented cartoonist, and that we should give it a chance.”

Colin shrugged. “I just heard it was a good show and decided to check it out.”

“I struggled with trying it out for a couple months,” I said. “Then one night I practically threw up my hands and said ‘FINE!!’ Twenty minutes later, I’d finished watching the first episode, I clicked on episode 2 and said ‘...Well, shit.’”

“Sounds familiar,” Colin laughed. The three of us laughed as Dana, Louis and Derek came out of their rooms.

“Okay, now that everypony’s here,” Twilight said as the laughing died down. “Let’s talk about what we’ll be doing here for the next couple months.” As the rest of us sat down, Twilight walked over to the front of the room. “All of you are to simply find ways to make a living in Ponyville. Find a job somewhere, have a presence here, help the ponies warm up to you.”

I raised a hoof. “That kind of feels like we’re just spying on them...” I said.

“Well, a fear the princesses have is that the ponies will believe that humans, with their history, are barbaric monsters,” Twilight said. “If you guys can fit in well enough, ponykind might see that humans are not entirely different to them, once the news breaks.”

“So, who else knows the truth?” Dana asked.

“Well, my friends know...” Twilight began.

“So, the Mane Six...” I said offhandedly. Twilight raised an eyebrow; I gave my mane a meaningful bop. “‘Mane’ Six. The Elements of Harmony.”

Twilight nodded in understanding. “Anyway, Spike and Mayor Mare also know. Other than that, this is a pretty tight circle we have.”

“So what’s our story to tell the ponies if they ask?” Louis asked.

“You are all immigrants from the distant pony nation of Amareica,” Twilight began. Derek, Colin and I snickered while Louis and Dana rolled their eyes good naturedly. “What?” Twilight asked.

“It- It’s nothing...” I said between giggles. “We just realized we’re just gonna have to deal with more horse puns than before.”

“W-what’s wrong with puns?” Twilight asked, confused. “Everywhere in Equestria is named like that!”

“Not the same on Earth,” Dana said, grinning madly. “We don’t have ‘Humanville’.”

“Or ‘Walkburg’,” Derek chimed in.

“Or ‘Babyton’,” Colin said. We laughed for a bit before calming down and letting Twilight continue.

“Anyway, you’ll be the first Amareicans to move to Equestria, while the Princesses manage diplomatic relations,” Twilight continued. “So, more or less the truth... in substance, at least.”

“Won’t people question where Amareica is?” I asked.

“Ponyville is the only town that knows about ‘Amareica’,” Twilight explained. “And they’ve been informed to keep things under wraps. As far as anypony from out of town knows, the Ponyville Embassy is an all-purpose facility for griffons, minotaurs and the like.” When noone else had any more questions, Twilight continued. “Now, in order to fit in properly, you should leave any human technology you brought with you here in the Embassy. Avoid using human terminology, or profanity, as I mentioned... what else... Oh! And I know you’re familiar with quite a few ponies already, but it would be best if you pretend otherwise when you meet, oh, I don’t know, Time Turner or Bon Bon...” (Squee! I thought.)

“And avoid glomping ponies,” Derek contributed.

“‘Glomping’?” Twilight asked. “Do I want to know...?”

“Glomping,” I said informatively. “The act of simultaneously tackling and hugging someone. Usually performed out of overzealous love.” I thought about it for a moment. “Though we might be unable to hide smiling like idiots once we meet, for example, Trixie.”

“Trixie--?” Twilight asked, but she shook her head and got back on track. “That’s fine. Lastly, I think it would be prudent for you all to come up with pony-like names. Creed, I think your last name will suffice.”

“Sketch Pad,” Colin said instantly. “...What? It’s what I’ve always wanted my OC to be named...” he added, after noticing our stares.

Louis, Derek and Dana took a bit longer to create their names. “...Bolt Crank?” Louis eventually said, as if he was guessing. “Since I was majoring in engineering...”

“...Due… Process?” Dana said slowly, fluffing her mane while examining her cutie mark.

“Heart Rate,” Derek said, a bit more confidently. “Yeah, it might be taken by somepony else, but that’ll probably happen here, right?”

“Not very often,” Twilight said. “But it’ll do fine. Now, I think that’s everything. What say we give you guys the tour of town?”

All five of us jumped up with a small cheer and scurried for the door before Twilight could react. We hurried down the stairs and waited in the lobby, bouncing in place while Twilight descended the stairs with a bemused expression.

                -                -                -                -                -

Speaking only for myself, the excitement for the tour was not just to see the town itself, but to meet the ponies we’d practically been worshipping for the past three years. Twilight’s first stop was to head to the library to check on Spike. The Golden Oaks Library was taller than I’d expected, easily twice as tall as my own house. The tree itself looked older, and there were a great deal of fallen leaves at the base of the tree.

Twilight swung the door inwards and let us in. “Spike! We have visitors!” The inside of the library had that feel of “bigger on the inside”; after all those Human fics I’d read, where the humans would need to duck under doors, this place seemed comfortably sized. Other than that, though, the show had done it justice. There were multiple shelves in the walls, a staircase leading to the upper levels, a table in the center of the room, and a door in the far wall leading into the kitchen.

We heard the sound of a broom clattering to the floor in the kitchen. The kitchen door swung open, and a purple blur came speeding out and up to us. “Is this them?! The ‘hum-muns’?!”

Spike seemed to have grown from the events of the show. His eyes looked more reptilian, he was at about eye level with me, rather than at the base of my neck, and a pair of bulges in his back hinted his wings growing. His voice had deepened somewhat, and the fins on his head were growing longer and farther apart.

“Humans, Spike,” Twilight corrected. “‘Hyoo-men’. And yes, this is them.”

“Man, I’ve got so many questions!” Spike said eagerly.

I held out a hoof. “I’m Creed, and it’s great to meet you.” Spike reached out to shake my hoof, but I shook my head. “Nah, nah, bro-hoof. Make a fist and bump it.” Spike did so and chuckled at the act. Spike introduced himself to the others while I checked out the books on the shelves. A variety of them were history books, biographies, magic how-to’s, and the like. After a minute I decided to look at a beginner’s level magic book. Since telekinesis was still an unknown to me, I had to pull it out with my mouth, carry it over to the table in the center of the room, and lay it flat. With my tounge I flipped to chapter one.

“Let’s see... foreword by the author, skip...” Lick. “Warning that magic is not a toy, skip- man, I’m gonna get a paper cut the way I keep flipping these...” A certain Happy Tree Friends Smoochie came to mind, and I shuddered. “...HERE we go... ‘Basic Telekinesis’...” Apparently unicorns had a dormant link of energy between their brains and their horns. With sufficient focus, the energy could be manipulated and shaped into what the caster willed. It was all just a matter of willpower. “Not unlike a Green Lantern ring, actually...” I mused aloud.

“A green what?” I spun around to see Twilight peering over my shoulder.

“Oh, nothing. I’m just seeing what I can learn about magic before I make my first inevitably disastrous attempt,” I said.

“If it’s telekinesis you’re starting with, don’t worry,” Twilight said. “Levitation is the first spell every unicorn learns. Here, try lifting this book.”

I turned to look at the book and took a steady breath. I ‘reached out’ to my horn with my brain. A low warmth surrounding my horn and a faint glow out of the upper reaches of my vision told me I was on the right track. Focusing, I looked at the book. A dim red glow surrounded it. “Yes, yes, that’s it!” Twilight said excitedly.

“Awesome!” I said.

“Dude, will you show me how to do that?” Louis asked. I glanced his way; the momentary distraction seemed to give the book the impression that I wanted it to fly over and smack Louis right in the face, and it was happy to oblige.

Whack. Louis flew back, clutching his muzzle and groaning. “Crap!” I said. I willed the book back over to the desk and let it go as I ran over to Louis. “Crap, crap, crap, I’m so sorry!!”

“It’s cool...” Louis said, checking to make sure he wasn’t bleeding.

“Facebook,” Derek laughed. “You’re doing it wrong.” I raised an eyebrow at him and my horn lit up. The book dutifully floated up beside my head. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” Derek laughed, shielding his face with his hooves. Smirking I replaced the book on the table. I turned to see Twilight barely able to hide a smile herself.

I lit up my horn and gazed at the tip at the peak of my vision. “I wanna be able to do more than just levitate stuff...” I said. “You think you could teach me some tricks?”

Twilight stammered. “I, I don’t know, almost everything I learned, I learned from the Princess, I don’t know if I can be anywhere near as good a teacher...”

I held up a hoof. “If you can teach me to do some magic that doesn’t end up blowing me sky high, that’ll be enough for me.” I put on my best puppy dog eyes. “Please?” Twilight didn’t say anything; I realized that male characters on the show never had any major ‘cute’ moments, and saw the fault in my plan.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “All right, I’ll help, if only to keep you from hurting yourself.” She turned to Spike. “We’re going around town to introduce our guests to our friends.”

Spike groaned in disappointment. “But there’s so much I want to know!”

Colin gave him an encouraging nudge. “Hey, don’t worry buddy, we’ll be here for months. Stop by the Embassy sometime, we’ll answer any questions you have.” Spike grinned at him excitedly.

“Until then, we should get going,” Twilight said. “We only have a couple hours of sunlight left.”

“We’re gonna meet the rest of the Mane Six?” Louis asked eagerly, his reddened nose forgotten.

Twilight giggled. “Yep! Now, Carousel Boutique is the closest...”

“Actually,” I interrupted. “I vote we meet your friends in the order you got to know them when you got to Ponyville. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “...Oh, come on, every brony knows the order,” I said, defensively.

“Does it really matter?” Dana asked.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Fair enough; let’s head to Sweet Apple Acres.”
> Day 1 Continued: Introductions
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 1, Part 2: Introductions

“You know, I think I’m getting the hang of this.” I turned from the path we were walking down to regard Derek. He’d managed to get himself aloft with a few shaky flaps of his wings.

“Surely, Rainbow Dash can help you out,” Dana said.

“Yeah, but I’ve always liked learning things myself,” Derek said, managing to rise a few more feet. With some effort, he managed to propel himself forward.

“Careful up there!” Twilight said warningly. “If you guys get hurt on your first day it won’t exactly do me any favors...”

“...Oh, and the injured will probably be less than thrilled, too,” Colin joked. Twilight rolled her eyes; I thought about making a drinking game where you took a shot for every eye roll she made. We’d be blitzed within ten minutes.

“Hey, check this out!” Derek said, noticing a small cloud overhead. Wavering through the air like a housefly, he approached the cloud and dove inside. After a moment, he opened a hole from within and peered out, a small portion of the cloud wrapped around his muzzle like a beard. “Arthur... Arthur... King of the Britons...” Colin and I instantly knelt, much to Twilight’s confusion. Louis looked confused as well, while Dana gave us an incredulous look. “Oh, don’t grovel!” Derek said; his British accent was much better than mine, which usually earned me a punch in the face from any actually British folk present. “If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s people groveling...”

“What are you doing?” Twilight asked, bewildered.

“Yeah, what the hell, guys?” Dana said.

“Shh! Don’t ruin it!” I hissed, mock-sternly.

“Ah, it’s fine,” Derek said, shaking the cloud beard off. He leaned out of the cloud and looked in the direction we were headed. “Oh, hey, we’re here!”

As we climbed a small hill in the path and got a look at the farmland, I suddenly realized just how many acres of trees the Apple family had. For the next mile we could see what had to be at least a thousand apple trees of varying age, rolling over countless hills. On what appeared to be the corner of the property lay the pens for the sheep and pigs. Towards the horizontal center of the land, close to where we stood, was the familiar red barn right beside the rustic farmhouse. I took a deep whiff of the air, and for a moment thought I was going to spit out a couple apple seeds right there.

Louis let out a sharp whistle. “Not hard to see how this property got Ponyville started.”

Twilight smiled and led us through the front gate. “Let’s see if Applejack’s around. By the way, remember what I said about you already knowing certain ponies. When you meet Big Mac or Applebloom, act as though you’ve never known them.”

We nodded. “All right, but remember,” I warned. “Once they learn the truth, I’m going to jump on the chance to grab Applebloom and tell her how adorable she is.”

“Seconded,” Derek said as he glided down and landed beside Colin.

“Not in a way that necessitates calling for an adult, right?” Louis asked.

“I’ll get back to you on that.”

We followed the dirt road towards the farmhouse, enormous aged apple trees lining the path on either side. I drifted towards the side as we walked and looked up into one tree’s branches. Its apples looked quite ripe, ready for a buck-induced descent. Matter of fact, there were a few empty bushels gathered around the base of the tree...

The sound of rapidly approaching hoof-falls on the other side of the tree made me snap to attention. There was a grunt and a loud Thunk! I only had a mere second to glance up and scream “Oh dear GOD--” before I was barraged by the farmland’s namesake. Attempting to get out of the way, I slipped on a fallen apple and fell to the ground. Somehow, more than half of the apples managed to collide painfully with my head, causing me to utter a swear with each collision. After a few torturous seconds the bombardment ended.

“Oh mah gosh!” I heard an accented voice cry. “I’m so sorry, fella!” Shaking the stars out of my eyes I turned to see Applejack hurrying from behind the tree and up to me. In person she was densely muscled, had a thick layer of dirt around the base of her hooves, and her accent was slightly subtler than the one portrayed on the show. Her trademark stetson looked quite clean, however; perhaps it truly belonged to her father.

“It’s cool...” I said, carefully standing up to avoid tripping on another apple.

“Hey, Applejack!” Twilight said. “Glad we caught you, these are the...” she stopped to make sure no one was around to eavesdrop. She leaned in towards Applejack. “The ‘visitors’...”

Applejack gave a happy gasp. Suddenly I found one of my front hooves between both of hers, being shaken like a Magic 8 ball. “Well, boy howdy, I’m sure glad you folk got here safe ‘n sound!” She turned to shake hooves with the others while I got my foreleg to stop wobbling like jello. “Welcome to Equestria, and welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!”

Louis in particular seemed the most excited to meet Applejack; I figured he was part of the ‘Applejack is best pony’ crowd. “It’s an honor to meet you, AJ.”

Applejack chuckled. “Honor’s all mine, partner. So y’all are gonna be seekin’ work in Ponyville for a while?”

“Applejack is always willing to let ponies help on the farm,” Twilight said. “The busy season’s coming up, her family needs all the help it can get.”

Colin made a couple practice bucks. “I might be of some help.” Applejack approached him and gave his hind legs a gentle prod; I could tell Colin wanted to make a joke along the lines of ‘I need an adult!’

“Well, you sure got the build for it,” she said. “Once y’all are settled in, feel free to mosey on down here and we’ll get you workin’.” Her tone became serious. “It’s hard work though. Don’t expect an easy ride.”

“The best work is the kind you still feel at the end of the day,” Derek pointed out.

“Exactly!” Applejack said with a grin. She approached the bushels by the tree that had nearly buried me, somehow all full of apples in spite of the amount that landed on me, and balanced one on her back. She noticed Dana staring hungrily at the apples. “Help yourself!” Dana opened her mouth to protest, but Applejack held up a hoof. “Least I can do to welcome y’all to Ponyville.”

Dana grinned before snagging an apple with her teeth. As she chewed on the entire thing I realized just how enormous pony mouths were, compared to the human mouth. While for a human an apple basically equated to a ball gag in terms of size, ponies could stuff their faces comfortably. Dana swallowed the apple while the rest of us grabbed one as well. “Oh my god, that was delicious…”

They really were; my diet consisted entirely of crackers, soda and other various junk foods (yet, miraculously, I never got much higher than a couple hundred pounds), so I never ate that much fruit. This apple, however, made me rethink just how much crap I’d been stuffing down my gullet. “Beautiful…” I said, licking the juice from my lips.

Applejack nodded appreciatively. “Well, it’s accepted fact these’re the best apples in all of Equestria. Why don’t y’all stay for dinner? We’ve got fresh apple turnovers comin’ out of the oven any minute now!”

“And ‘apple fwittuh’?” Louis said in a baby voice.

“Oh, god, please don’t...” I said, raising a foreleg to my chest. “I barely survived my first heart attack after seeing that...”

Applejack looked confused as to how she was involved in inducing heart attacks when Twilight intervened. “We’d like to, Applejack, but we really gotta get going,” Twilight said. “I promised them I’d introduce them to all of our friends.”

“On that note,” I said. “Where does Rainbow Dash usually nap on your property?”

Applejack laughed. “I see the princesses didn’t shy from showing her slackin’ off!” She pointed towards the east end of the acres. “I last saw her flyin’ that way. Don’t let her scare you off if she tries to figure out how ‘cool’ y’all are. She respects those who stand their ground.”

“Thanks for the tip,” I said. “See you around, AJ, great to meet you!”

“Y’all come back now, ya hear?” Applejack called as we headed down the eastward road.

                -                -                -                -                -

“So, what was that about a ‘heart attack’?” Twilight asked a few minutes later.

“Well, I wasn’t serious,” I clarified. “One thing bronies loved about the show is how... adorable you guys were.”

“Adorable?”

“And too much sweetness causes heart attacks,” Colin said. “So when we saw baby Applejack...”

“Sweetie Belle drinking a milkshake...” Derek added.

“And Fluttershy doing anything, at any time, ever...” Louis said.

“Bronies have an overall reaction of ‘HHNNNNNNGGGGGG...’” I clutched at my chest, grimacing in faked pain. I opened one eye to see Twilight looking at us with unease. “...You’ve had plenty of cute moments too...” I added sheepishly.

“...okay...” Twilight said. “Anyway, keep checking the trees. Rainbow Dash usually naps in the branches, and...”

At this point I sensed that the smug God of Comedic Timing was rolling up his sleeves for another trick. Instinctively I looked up to see a cyan and rainbow-colored blur speeding towards us. “Move,” I said, calmly yet firmly. All eyes looked skyward and saw our incoming visitor. The six of us all spread out to make a sizeable landing pad. Rainbow Dash landed heavily between us, sending a thick cloud of dust up from her landing. I swished the air with a leg to clear the dust, and regarded the pegasus.

Many fics seemed to consider Dash’s mane and tail to be messy, unkempt and so forth. Yet, to me, it came across more like she had a simple enough style that she didn’t need to pamper it often. Her poise, as expected, was always one of confidence, of being ready to accept any challenge to her established ‘coolness’. Her wings seemed to constantly shift in place, which logically showed she was always aching to get back into the skies. “Hey, Twilight!” She said. Her voice wasn’t as raspy, either, a bit more feminine. She looked at us and raised an eyebrow. “These the aliens?” She asked, somewhat unimpressed.

I frowned; I should have expected the blunt attitude. “Yep,” I said with a cough. “The humans. It’s great to meet you, Rainbow.” I held out a hoof for a bump, yet she just kept staring at us warily.

“Right... So, you guys are gonna be hanging in Ponyville for a while?”

“Yeah...” I said, confused. By her tone, it sounded like she didn’t like the idea of the whole affair. “Is there a problem?”

Dash narrowed her eyes. “I don’t know. Is there?” I stepped back half an inch; that little quip seemed to carry a boatload of implied distrust.

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight said, sternly. “Be nice!”

Dash backed off a little bit. “So what’s up?”

“Well, I wanted to introduce you to them,” Twilight said, happy for the lighter mood. Dash, though reluctantly, accepted the introductory brohoofs as we each said our names. I couldn’t shake the rather glaring feeling that Dash didn’t trust us, and it wasn’t hard to assume why. A race of aliens that have known war for centuries suddenly being brought to her home might not inspire that much confidence.

That’s what the Embassy is for, I remembered. Celestia and Brushstroke want to prove that humans are more than capable of what Equestria stands for… We just need to want it bad enough. I decided that Dash would come around, sooner or later.

“You want me to what?” I snapped back to reality to see Dash looking quizzically at Derek, who was flexing his wings with a pleading look on his face.

“Please, just give me some pointers...” he said. “And no, I don’t expect to fly anywhere near as fast as you. I just want to know I can fly without causing or suffering severe injuries, and nopony’s a better flier than you.”

Dash’s expression softened, and I nodded in silent approval; stoking her ego was a surefire way to get her to like you. She pursed her lips for a moment. “...Fine, come see me sometime and I’ll show you some of what I’ve learned... and maybe some tricks I picked up at Wonderbolt Academy.”

Derek bounced in the air with a whoop. “You won’t regret this!”

“Hopefully...” I heard Dash mutter over Derek’s excited cheering. Dash spread her wings. “Well, I gotta get back home to feed Tank. See you guys later.” Without another word she took off at a speed that made my ears pop. I watched her streak out of sight before turning to Twilight.

“She doesn’t trust us.”

Twilight dragged a hoof along the ground. “I don’t know about that... She’s just... looking out for everypony. She knows that humans have a past that can best be described as...”

“...Icky?” Dana guessed with a shrug.

“I was going more for ‘troubled’...” Twilight said. “But, yeah, she just wants to be careful.”

“She’ll come around,” Louis said. “She’ll have plenty of time to get to know us.”

Twilight nodded. “So, you guys ready to go meet Rarity?”

                -                -                -                -                -

“I’ll be the toast of the town,
the girl on the go,
and the type of pony,
everypony,
everypony should know...”

“What are you singing, Dana?” Twilight asked as we got back into town.

Dana blushed a bit. “Sorry, a bit louder than I meant...”

“Sounded lovely,” I complimented. “As for your question, Twi, it was a song from the show. Rarity sang it during the episode she spent in Canterlot, where she made you that dress for your birthday?”

“Oh, yeah...” Twilight said. “I would have liked to hear it...”

“Wait...” I said. “You don’t think it’s strange the show had you breaking into song?”

Twilight shook her head. “It happens now and then.”

She sounded as though ponies had accepted it as a way of life. “Well, humans don’t do that...” Louis said.

“Nopony knows why we do it,” Twilight said. “But we still enjoy when it happens. Sometimes a pony will sing about the smallest of affairs.”

...Oh, god dammit, brain... I thought as a dusty memory surfaced.

Rounding a corner we laid eyes on Carousel Boutique. Everything about it depicted class, glamour, fabulosity... Just looking at it made me feel like sipping a martini, adjusting my monocle and going “Mmm, quite.” We followed Twilight towards the building and entered. A bell over the front door announced our arrival. It was at this point I realized just how well the show depicted Equestria, from both the ponies and the places they lived in. Everything was here; the raised section of floor for ponies to stand upon while Rarity fitted them, several mannequins wearing her finer outfits, and a multitude of mirrors. I wondered if Brushstroke/Lauren brought some of the show’s staff to Equestria to give them an idea of what to animate...

“Rarity!” Twilight called.

“Be right down, dear!” We heard her call from upstairs. As the Element of Generosity came down from her quarters upstairs, I felt rather light-headed. I hadn’t even been a pony for a whole day, and I thought Rarity was drop-dead gorgeous. Her stylized mane bounced ever so slightly, her poise didn’t falter at all as she walked, and while she had her nose raised slightly in the air like so many stuffy Canterlot types, you still got a sense of humility from her.

She gave a soft gasp when she took notice of us. “Are these the humans we were told about?”

Twilight nodded. “I’m showing them around Ponyville and introducing them to all of our friends.”

Rarity approached us, her mouth slightly open in awe. I gave a slight bow. “Miss Rarity...” I said in greeting. Colin, Derek and Louis all did the same. Rarity tossed a hoof at the display.

“Oh, please, call me Rarity, darling.” Her voice was a bit more casual than I’d expected. “Welcome to Equestria, Ponyville, and Carousel Boutique. I must say, I’ve been looking forward to meet you all...” She approached Colin and looked him over. “Though I understand the need for turning you into ponies, I’ve been eager to design a number for humans... It would be my first outfit designed for a biped.”

We each introduced ourselves to Rarity. It was nice to see her more trusting than Rainbow Dash. “I believe it would be fitting that, as a gift of welcome, I design an outfit for each of you. From the colors of your coats and manes alone I’ve already come up with a slew of ideas... I’ll just need to take your measurements...”

Rarity turned, approached a desk and opened a drawer. She withdrew some blank parchment, a quill and ink, and a length of measuring tape. “Now, ladies first...” She said, beckoning Dana over. Dana eagerly stepped onto the platform and stood still as Rarity began taking measurements.

A low mewl made me look toward the stairs. Sitting on the bottom step was a rather bored-looking white cat. “Opalescence!” I said happily.

Rarity glanced towards the stairs. “Oh, be careful, darling, she’s not very friendly with strangers...”

Nodding I took a few steps toward the stairs. Opal narrowed her eyes at me. I noticed that, like on the show, animals here had much more expressive faces. Opal looked more than capable of expressing distrust, as she appeared to be doing now. “Hey there...” I said, trying to sound friendly and not condescending, since animals were smarter here. I knelt down; years ago I’d found that, around timid creatures, sitting down and getting on their level helped ease their tensions.

Opal stared at me for a moment before hopping off the step and slowly approaching me. When she got within an arm’s reach (a phrase which I didn’t think applied to me at this point) I slowly raised a foreleg towards her. She gave me a tentative sniff before turning up her nose and walking towards Rarity, who had finished with Dana.

“Well, that was better than I’d expected...” Rarity said, relieved. “Usually anypony who tries to meet Opal is left with countless scratches. Now, Mr... Derek, was it? Why don’t you come up next?”

The next twenty minutes were spent getting measured for our new attire. I was brought to the platform last. As Rarity measured me, pausing occasionally to stop and go “Hmm,” I took a moment to let reality sink in further. Everything a brony could hope for, and us five were lucky enough to be the first; and knowing every brony alive would get the opportunity to come here a few months down the line made it all the sweeter.

“A solid black would work...” I heard Rarity mutter. “Perhaps a red tie...”

“Please say I can get a top hat...” I said, grinning like a dork.

Rarity flinched violently. “A-A TOP HAT?!” She yelled. “Such headgear would ruin the whole ensemble!! Never would I soil my grand vision for you--”

“I was kidding!” I laughed. Rarity sputtered for a moment before sighing.

“Not funny...” she muttered.

“And yet, everypony else is laughing,” I pointed out, nodding towards the others, all of whom were trying and failing to hide their snickers. I noticed Rarity frown at me out of the corner of my eye, and felt her tug the measuring tape around my hind leg with an excessive amount of force. “Gah! Okay, okay...” I giggled.

“I’m all finished here,” Rarity said, giving a good-natured smile. I hopped down from the platform, realizing I’d gotten almost completely used to my new body in a matter of hours. “I should have something ready for each of you in a few days.”

“Looking forward to it,” I said. I glanced at the stairs. “Hey, where’s Swee...” I stopped; if Sweetie Belle heard me drop her name, it would look suspicious. “Where’s your sister?” I asked in a low voice.

“She’s off ‘crusading’...” Rarity said. She paused. “...That means they’re--”

“Off doing something ridiculous while hunting for their cutie marks,” the bronies (and pegasister) and I all said in unison. We all glanced at each other, perplexed. “...’kay,” I said. “Yeah, the show had episodes centered around them.”

“Then you know the kind of trouble they get into?” Rarity asked. We all nodded solemnly. “Then might I ask you keep an eye on them, intervene if they try to do something...”

“Reckless?” Dana asked.

“Dangerous?” Colin guessed.

“Completely stupid?” I blurted out before I realized what I was saying.

Rarity seemed to agree, though. “All good answers.”

We all nodded. “We’ll keep ‘em out of trouble as best we can, Rarity,” Derek promised.

“Well, we gotta be going, Rarity,” Twilight said. “We only have an hour till sundown, I want to introduce them to Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.”

As we herded out the door we each gave a goodbye to Rarity. “Stop by anytime!” Rarity said with a cheerful wave.

                -                -                -                -                -

“Creed, why are you breathing so heavily?” Twilight asked.

We were walking along a path on the outskirts of town, on the far side from Sweet Apple Acres. A rolling plain rolled off to our right. To our left lay the Everfree; while the show had depicted places like Carousel Boutique and the Golden Oaks faithfully, it hadn’t done the forest justice. In a cartoon it may have looked threatening to the characters but significantly less-so to the viewers, but in real life I felt a chill run down my spine with every glance. It got pitch black when you looked further than two trees in. Occasionally I spotted a pair of glowing eyes staring at us before it vanished into the darkness. To keep myself from dwelling on the true creepiness of the Everfree, I looked straight ahead to look forward to meeting Fluttershy.

“Just preparing myself...” I said between breaths. While I was never one to pick a favorite pony, I always had a soft spot for Fluttershy. “Remember what I told you about Fluttershy’s cuteness? What if the show only had a fraction of her true adorableness?” My eyes widened in staged fear. “I don’t think anyone could handle that much ‘HHHNNNNNNNGGG...’ It would be like an outbreak of FOXDIE...”

Twilight let the Metal Gear reference roll off her back and rolled her eyes again; sooner or later she’d be able to roll them enough to peer into her skull. “Well, remember what else the show portrayed.”

“Right, her shyness is off the charts,” Louis said knowingly. “Be calm, don’t frighten her, make her feel comfortable...”

“And be extra gentle around her animals,” Twilight said. “If you’re good with animals, you’ll get along with Fluttershy just fine.”

“I do well flushing dead goldfish down the toilet, does that count?” Colin asked. Dana, Derek, Louis and I all winced as Twilight cast a horrified look at Colin. “...Oh, come on, we’re all allowed at least one joke in poor taste every now and then...” When Twilight didn’t look away he sighed and got serious. “Okay, I’ve honestly never done that, and I understand animals have a bigger part in pony society than in ours. I won’t make jokes like that, especially around Fluttershy. I apologize.”

Twilight relaxed a little bit. “I do hope that was merely a joke...” she said as she turned back towards the path.

I walked a bit towards Colin. “To be fair, at any other time that joke would’ve been hilarious,” I whispered.

Finally, after passing a few trees on the edge of the forest we got a good look at Fluttershy’s cottage. It had a very ‘Hobbiton’ vibe to it, with a massive number of birdhouses hanging on the property. We followed Twilight up the path, over the small bridge leading over the creek running by the cottage, and approached the oak Dutch door.

Twilight made to knock when Colin spoke up. “Wait, I think I hear her out back.” With a joyful hop I hurried around the side of the house.

“Creed, slow down!” Twilight warned, yet I didn’t listen. Behind the house lay Fluttershy’s corral; fenced-in areas, a sizeable chicken coop, and even more birdhouses dangling from the trees. There were several dozens of animals scurrying around, all chittering happily like that one jarring change of mood after a certain traumatizing scene in a Disney classic. Most of them were gathered around the creme-yellow mare, who was speaking in a cooing voice to her friends.

“Be sure to leave some food for everyone else...” she said as she poured a bag of seeds into some bowls. The critters all happily ate their fill while she watched them lovingly.

I cleared my throat to make myself known. Fluttershy turned and made a small squeak before hiding in her long pink mane. Twilight hurried past me and approached her friend. “Fluttershy, these are the humans we were told about. I wanted to introduce them...”

The animals all seemed rather confused at the sight of us; perhaps there was something in our scent that seemed off to them? Slowly I approached some of them and, like with Opal, knelt down. One of the braver-looking critters, a squirrel, approached and smelled my hoof. When it seemed comfortable I gave it a gentle rub down its back. The squirrel turned and chirped at its friends, who all scattered among the rest of us. Fluttershy watched with interest as we ‘mingled’ with her animal friends, gaining enough confidence to approach us.

As she approached me I smiled warmly. While everypony else we’d met had subtle differences to their portrayals on the show, Fluttershy’s was spot on. Everything about her was small, timid, fragile, and most of all, adorable. “H-Hello...” she whimpered. OH GOD HER VOICE.

Self control self control self control... I thought rapidly. Self control self con-- fuck it.

I was suddenly hugging her tightly with the biggest grin I’ve ever had. Fluttershy’s eyes were wide with shock and confusion. “Sorry,” I said, not sorry at all. “Always wanted to do this.” I quickly let her go, blushing. “It’s so great to meet you, Fluttershy.” She wasn’t moving, however, rigid with anxiousness. Great, I thought. My first time meeting her and I scare her. A sudden weight on my back made me glance back. Standing on me was a bunny with its arms(?) folded, and a disapproving look on its face.

“Howdy, Angel,” I said cheerfully. He raised a furry eyebrow at me before hopping off and standing guardedly next to Fluttershy. Like Dash, he seemed distrusting of us; I added ‘Gain Angel’s trust’ to my list of things to achieve in my time here.

“Your animal friends are so cute...” Dana said, rubbing the belly of a badger that had rolled placidly onto its back. “I have a dog back home named Benny; he’s a corgi, one of the sweetest dogs you’ll ever know...”

Fluttershy loosened up a bit and smiled. She approached Dana slowly and sat on her haunches. “They seem to like you guys...”

I approached and sat by her side. She flinched away a bit, making me feel even worse for startling her. “Again, sorry bout that,” I said, this time with more sincerity. “It’s just, you know that the Princesses have told your story to us, right?” She whimpered in confirmation; evidently she hated being in the spotlight, even in an animated form. “Well, a lot of us really admire you for being... you. You’re kind, gentle and, let’s face it, adorable, and we love you for it. But we also see you as a brave mare, who’s not afraid to put her neck on the line for her friends. You faced a dragon, an army of changelings, you managed to get Discord to play nice... In some of your adventures with your friends you basically carried the team. And right now, all we want is to be lucky enough to hang out with you, if you’re comfortable with it.”

As I spoke, Fluttershy’s cheeks flushed and she gave a giggle. I actually felt my heart shudder, but it soldiered on. “Thank you...”

I glanced back at Twilight, who was giving me an appraising smile. “The humans are going to be looking for things to do around town,” she said to Fluttershy. “They might help you with your animal friends, if you want.”

“That would be great!” Fluttershy said, her voice barely rising in volume. “Maybe even adopt one of these critters; so many of them are looking for a good home...”

“Ooh, I don’t know...” Derek said. “I mean, I don’t know if the Embassy is a good place for pets...”

“Oh...” Fluttershy said, disappointed. Louis, Colin and I all shot Derek an irritated glance; giving Fluttershy any reason to be sad is immediate cause for a brony beatdown. He shrank slightly under our glares, but we relented.

“Well, we should get going...” Twilight said. “We need to get back to the Embassy before it gets too dark.”

“We still need to meet Pinkie Pie, though...” Louis said, disappointed.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your chance,” Twilight said. We stood up and gave Fluttershy a fond farewell. As I headed towards the path I spotted Angel sitting on a fence post, his expression softened somewhat. That’s headway, I thought.

                -                -                -                -                -

“Hearts still beating, everyone?” Colin asked as we approached the Embassy twenty minutes later.

“Almost fully operational again, sir!” Louis said in a crap Scottish accent.

I pretended to give my heart a jump start by banging on my chest. “Working on it!” I said with staged urgency.

Twilight giggled, then turned to me. “What you said to Fluttershy...”

“Every word of it,” I said before she could ask if I meant it. “You know, it was actually her that finally made my curiosity about the show boil over. Remember that breakdown she had at the Gala? There was a clip of it I watched, that made me look up that first episode.”

“I want to watch it sometime...” Twilight said. “If it means so much to the... ‘bronies’... and if it led to our peoples meeting, it sounds like something everypony should experience.”

“Ha HA!” I said, triumphantly. “I’ve converted another!” We arrived back at the Embassy just as the sky became its blackest. The lobby was fully lit, yet, save for the guards, it didn’t look like any staff were present. The rush of the day suddenly caught up with me, resulting in a loud yawn. “Well, tomorrow morning we’ll head out to Sugarcube Corner and meet Pinkie, I guess...”

The consensus was shared with the others as we climbed the stairs, this time with a bit more ease than before. As we reached the top landing I approached the door to the dorm. I raised a hoof towards the knob--

Ding ding ding. “Wait a second,” I said. I slowly turned towards Twilight and smirked. “There wouldn’t have been another reason to get us out of the Embassy today, would there, Twi?” Twilight kept trying to evade eye contact, biting her lip nervously. The others looked confused for a moment until, one by one, they had the same realization I had. I took a moment to straighten up. “Let’s try and act surprised,” I whispered to Twilight encouragingly. When she smiled, I opened the door.

“SURPRISE!!” As I’d expected, the dorm was covered in streamers, confetti and balloons, and had a large banner on the far wall reading, ‘Welcome to Ponyville!’ A quick amendment in black marker added the words ‘and Equestria!!’ to the end. A large table filled with a ludicrous number of desserts and beverages stood in the center of the room, the cushions all pushed off to the side. In front of the table stood the ponies (and dragon) we’d been spending the day meeting, as well as Sugar Cane, Princesses Celestia, Luna and Brushstroke, and last but not least, Pinkie Pie.

In spite of opting to merely ‘act’ surprised, somehow we still did not expect a party this wild. We all gave joyful laughs and hurried into the room. Even though this kind of party seemed rather childish, it somehow still held great appeal, given where we were and who we were hanging with. Pinkie bolted up to us, a grin on her face so wide I could barely make out her wisdom teeth.

While on the show her mane was quite bouncy, it didn’t hold up against the real deal; it bounced like the breast physics in a Dead or Alive game when she so much as tilted her head an inch in any direction. “Hey!” She chirped. “I’m Pinkie Pie! But you already know that since you watched the show! Ooh, what was I like on the show? Did I like parties as much as I really do?” She gasped in horror. “Oh, what if she didn’t?! What if she only sorta liked parties, and what if that makes you think I won’t throw the bestiest best best parties you’ll ever go to?!”

“Pinkie...” Colin laughed.

“What if you don’t think I’ll be the best friend I can be by not throwing you the most amazing parties ever?!”

“Pinkie...” Louis said, a bit more loudly.

“Well, that’s not going to happen! I promise that your parties will be the best, and we’ll all be the best of friends and...” I really should have expected Pinkie to be like this. In retrospect she probably would have been somewhat grating in person, even for a brony. I cast Brushstroke a pleading look for help, but she seemed content to watch us deal with it ourselves.

I rolled my eyes. “PINKIE!!”

Her rant stopped on a dime, and she looked at me. “Yes?” She asked casually.

“I promise you...” I said. “The show did you justice. Nothing about you was underplayed. We believe that your love of parties is second to none.”

Pinkie wiped her brow with a forehoof. “That’s a relief! Cake?” Out of nowhere she produced a slice of chocolate cake on a paper plate and offered it to me. I gave her a perplexed look, unprepared for the sudden breaking of the laws of physics (insofar as they can be broken in a world of magic talking ponies). Taking the plate in my magic I took a bite.

My mouth seemed to melt; the perfectly moist texture, the rich chocolate taste, the smooth icing... No human alive could make a dessert this delicious. My mouth hung open and began to drool. “Holy mother of god, this is amazing...” I said in an awestruck voice. “I now know the Nirvana of desserts, and her name is Pinkie Pie...”

“What?” Pinkie asked. “No, I’m Pinkie Pie!! I don’t care what a ‘nur-vahna’ is, it can’t just take my name!”

“Pinkie, he means... never mind...” Dana said, approaching the princesses. I shook myself of my daze and did the same. While I gave Celestia and Brushstroke a familiar bow, this was the first time I’d seen Luna in over a month.

“It’s great to see you again, Princess Luna...” Derek said humbly.

Luna laughed good-naturedly. “Please, just call me Luna, and it is good to see you all, too.”

“Best princess!” Colin blurted out before covering his mouth.

Luna gave Colin a brief quizzical glance before smiling. “You know it...” She said with a wink. I turned to Sugar Cane, who had already started helping herself to some cake.

“I take it you’ll be hanging around, Sugar?” I asked.

“Mmhmm!” She said before swallowing her mouthful of cake. “I’m gonna be working downstairs, just holler if you need anything.”

“I take it you all had no trouble settling in?” Celestia asked.

“Other than stairs and having to wrestle with something as mundane as a doorknob, nope, no troubles,” I said.

Celestia nodded. “Good, good... Now, my emissaries, I remind you that your purpose here is not just to live in Ponyville. You must make names for yourselves among its denizens. Give citizens aid around town, show them that ‘Amareicans’ are more than capable of living among them. In time, they will see that, since your arrival, you will have been different in appearance alone.”

“So become ‘outstanding citizens’?” I asked. I looked at Twilight. “Like the Mane Six? ...Though I think the fact that they’ve kept it from being reduced to a smoldering crater was a key factor there. I’m not sure we’re up to ‘community service’ of that caliber.”

Brushstroke laughed. “You never know; keep Ponyville talking about those ‘extremely friendly Amareicans’. Volunteer at places, help the construction force, create a positive image for yourselves. The better these ponies think of you, the more likely they will embrace humanity melding with ponydom.”

“And now, my little ponies...” Celestia said, earning a mild snicker from us bronies. “We must take our leave. We have much work to do to prepare for our diplomatic relations with Earth.” Celestia gave a brief, affectionate nuzzle to Twilight before turning and approaching the door. We gave Luna and Brushstroke a deep bow as they followed Celestia out of the dorm. Brushstroke turned in the doorway and gave us all a warm smile.

“Welcome to Equestria,” she said before using her magic to close the door.

“Okay!!” Pinkie shrieked dangerously close to my ear, making me leap in the air with a yelp and a cuss. “Let’s get this party STARTED!!” She gave a previously unnoticed record player a gentle buck, causing it to start blaring a high-energy dance song.

“Hang on a second!” Colin yelled, bolting into his room. He emerged a moment later carrying a bulky iPod dock in his mouth, an iPod already inside. Twilight sprinted up to Colin, almost knocking the device from his jaw.

“OHMYGOSHWHATISIT!!”

“It’s a Dock!” I said. “It’s basically a more high-tech version of that record player.” Colin placed the dock on the snack table and reached towards the iPod with a hoof. He stopped, realizing he lacked the dexterity needed to fiddle with it. He gave a disappointed moan.

“I got it,” I said as I approached, lighting up my horn, and carefully enveloping the iPod.

Thankfully the touch screen responded well to magic. I flipped into Colin’s library and leafed through his collection. After a few moments I stopped when my eyes fell on one album. A wide grin on my face, I started the song.

“...Well who the hell put this on?!” Derek asked in his British accent.