> The Pain Inside > by Bakmah Genesis > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > The pain inside > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vinyl rolled over on her bed, her hoof landing in the familiar spot. She opened her eyes and sighed. It has been three years now but she can't help but feel lonely without the warmth of her Tavi. She brushed away a single tear and rolled onto her back. She turned and looked at the digital clock Tavi bought her on her birthday five years ago. The clock read 11:30 A.M. Vinyl let her head fall back onto the pillow. "Fuck, I'm going to be late." she said as she threw off the covers and walked into the bathroom. Her mane was more of a mess then usual, signs of a restless sleep, and dark rings covered the bottom of her deep red eyes. She took a quick shower and dried herself off before walking into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. While the coffee was being made, she collected the letters from in front of her apartment door and sat on the couch. Most of the mail was ad craps which she threw into the fireplace to be burned later. One letter,though, caught her attention. The letters sender address was that of the library back in Ponyville, the town she lived in for awhile. She quickly tore open the letter to read it but set it down as her eyes still didn't adjust to the small handwriting. Once her eyes finally adjusted, she read. Dear Vinyl. My name is Twilight Sparkle, we met on your visit last year. I've found out from some of the ponies who knew you before that you where looking for someone. I've written to tell you that Octavia is currently in Ponyville for the week. Sincerely, Twilight Sparkle Vinyl dropped the letter and ran to the phone to cancel an appointment she had set. She then ran back into her room and shoved whatever belongings she would need into her suit case before sprinting out the door. She ran down the hall of the apartment building and almost crushed into Derpy at the elevator. The mail mare screamed and braced herself as Vinyl came to a stop in front of her. "Sorry, Derps." she said panting. She looked at Feely quizicly. "What?" she asked as Derps just stared at her. "Your eyes" she said. "They are very pretty." Vinyl looked at her confused and looked into the reflective surface of the elevator doors. She cussed at herself for forgetting her glasses. She levatated a pair of oversized sunglasses out of her bag and put them on. "Sorry,Derps. Tavi is still the only one to see those." Derpy nodded as the elector doors opened and the two got in. Vinyl stared lazily out the window of the train at the moving landscape. She thought of all the possibilities of the two mares seeing each other after three years. They could run into each other hooves, a simple hug, a slap across Vinyl's face, or, worst of all, she would just ignore her. She sighed and layer back into the seat. "Damnit, Vinyl! I can't take this!" yelled Octavia. Vinyl covered her ears, her head pounding. "What ya mean?" she asked, swaying side to side, drunk. "I can't take staying up night after night hoping you make it home safely, sitting her alone while you tour, and take care of your sorry ass while you are drunk off your hooves and higher than the sky!" Vinyl's eyes went big as she not only insulted her but swore, something she never did. "Hey, calm down, Tavi." she asked, pleading. "No, Vinyl. We are done." Vinyl sat there with her mouth open as Octavia packed up and walked out the door. Vinyl placed her head and cried until she fell asleep. Vinyl woke from her memories as the train pulled into the Ponyville station. She sighed as she got out of her seat and collected her things. She squinted in the sun for it was still pretty bright through her glasses. Once her eyes adjusted she started to look around. "They said that they would have some kind of sign for me." she mumbled to herself. She jumped as she heard a noise like a cannon going off. She searched for the source and found Pinkie Pie jumping around like a maniac, the others around her shaking their heads. Vinyl laughed as she walk up to them. A purple mare walked up to her and offered a hoof. Vinyl just stared at her. She hugged the mare tight. "Thank you, Twilight!" she said. Twilight hugged her back. Vinyl let go a moment later. "Where is she then?" she asked. "We thought it would be romantic if you surprised her during a party today." said Pinkie. Vinyl's heart sank. "I don't know if that would be a good idea." she said. She screamed as Pinkie started dragging her into town. "Of course it's a good idea, silly. Now come on" Vinyl fought to try and get away but couldn't. Finally she just let her drag her to the Sugarcube Corner. "Now what?" she asked, sitting down and placing her head on a table. "Now we get you and the shop ready." said Rarity. "No! Not me!" said Vinyl as Rarity brought out a rack of dresses. She tried to run away but Twilight held her in place with her magic. "What a Fuck, Twilight? Just when I thought you were nice." cried Vinyl. Twilight giggled. Vinyl frowned as Rarity combed out her mane and tail and placed her into a purple dress. "Oh, you just look beautiful." said Rarity. "Now lets get rid of those glasses." "No!" screamed Vinyl, keeping her glasses on with her hooves and magic. "No one but Tavi is allowed to see my eyes." "Oh fine." said Rarity, disappointed. "Octavia is coming! Oh hey, looking good, Vinyl." said Rainbow Dash as she flew in. "Hurrry up and hide." said Twilight as the six mares pushed her into the back room. Vinyl took off her glasses and took a deep breath. She heard the shop doors open and close. "So what's the big suprise?" She knew the voice belonged to Tavi. Her Tavi. She took another deep breath and walked out of the backroom. > Sour feelings > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "So what's this big suprise?" she heard Octavia say. Vinyl took another deep breath and walked out of the back room. "This useless piece of shit." she said as she walked out. Tavi opened her mouth then frowned. "What in the world is that?" said Tavi, pointing at the purple dress. Vinyl laughed. "Twilight held me down before I could escape." Vinyl turned to the six mares. "Do you mind leaving us alone?" she asked. "But we haven't started the party yet." said Twilight. "Yeah, well, tough shit." said Vinyl as she used a table to push the six out of the bar. "Like a seat?" she asked, bringing over two chairs and a table. The mare sat and stared at her. Vinyl sat across from her. "How are you, Tavi?" she asked the mare. Octavia looked down at the floor. "I'm fine. And it's Octavia." Vinyl took a shaky breath, but otherwise kept smiling. "What did you wish to succeed in coming here?" she asked. "Forgivness." she replied, the pain colouring her voice. "I don't know if you're the same but I can't go to sleep or wake up for that matter without crying. I love you, Tavi, and that won't change." Tears were rolling down her cheeks now. Octavia just looked blankly at her. "You do, do you? If you loved me that much you wouldn't tour every Damn month, you wouldn't drink and do ecstasy all the time. You wouldn't make me worry everynight. Until you can prove it, nothing will change between us." Octavia got up and walked forwards the door. Vinyl moved the table but otherwise sat there. "And it's Octavia." she said before leaving. Tears rolled down Vinyl's eyes as she silently wept. She held up the edge of her dress before she ripped it in half and threw it at the wall. She later her head on the table and wept. She heard the six mares walk in but she ignored them. "Vinyl, what happened?" asked Twilight. "More importantly, what happened to my beautiful dress!" cried Rarity. Vinyl sighed and wiped away tears. "I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I tour once a month and party every night. I come home at two and puke till four then I sleep till ten. She left three years ago for that reason. She cares about me but can't take my self-abuse." she sighed and sat her head back on the table. Rainbow walked behind the bar. "Want a drink? I can make a good jack-coke." she lifted up a bottle of Jack Daniels. "No." she said, lifting herself off the table. "No more alcohol, no more ecstasy, no more partying everynight, and maybe no more dubstep." She heard the mares gasp. "But, Vinyl, your special talent is dubstep." said Twilight. Vinyl shook her head. "I'm like Tavi, my talent is music." she started to walk out the door. "If I have to prove it, then by Celestia, I will." She walked out of Sugercube Corner, leaving the six mares to stare at her. > Six days and three near drinking sessions later > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vinyl walked through the streets of Ponyville, her mind elsewhere. She walked past the Sugarcane Corner, lights and music emanating from the doors. Pinkie and the others tried to invite her but all efforts were shot down. She stopped when she spotted Octavia sitting on a bench in the park. The mare sat alone with a sad and distant look on her face. Vinyl removed her glasses, it was hard to see at night anyways, and walked up to her. She sat down next to her and followed her gaze to the Sugarcube Corner. "I'm surprised," started Octavia. "I would have thought you would be in there, drinking your arse off and sneaking as many pills you could." Vinyl laughed. She looked over at the mare who just looked confused at her. "I've been sober and clean for nearly a week. Three nights I almost drank but didn't in the end." She smiled as the beat slowed and the some became familiar. Octavia noticed too since she started to smile. "I haven't heard this song in forever." she said as she looked off into memories. "I still have the pic from that night." said Vinyl, referring to the night when she sang the song at a concert on nivht. It was after she fallen for Tavi. Within a few days she wrote it, recorded the beat, and practiced the acoustic part. That night, she preformed the song, kissing Tavi on stage at the end. Octavia sighed. "And that was the only one of its kind." she said after coming back to the world. "That's because that one was special." replied Vinyl. She turned forwards Tavi and looked into her eyes. "I'm doing a concert tomorrow night. My manager wanted me to debute it and I decided here." She placed her hoof over Tavi's. "I want you to come." Tavi sighed. "Alright, but just because I'm curious." Vinyl resisted the urge to kiss her, that wouldn't help, but thanked her. She stood up and started to leave. "Eight, alright?" she said, looking over her shoulder. Tavi nodded. She nodded and headed back to Lyra's since her and Bon Bon are letting her stay there. She wanted to get home and sleep, she had big plans tomorrow and she wanted to be ready. Vinyl looked at the acoustic guitar that she tuned maybe six times now out of nervousness. She played a few quick cords and sat it down. She looked through the curtain out to the towns centre. She found Octavia in front, exactly where she needed to be. She took a deep breath before signaling for them to part the curtains, she quickly made sure the guitar was out of sight first. She sat down on the chair and waited. Once the murmuring settled down a bit at the audience's shock at the lack of equipment on stage, she spoke into the microphone. "It has been six years since I did this, but I'm switching from dubstep for a song a switching to something more smooth." She waited for this shock to die down before continuing. "Ladies and gentlponies, enjoy." She brought out the guitar as the lights dimmed and a small column of light surrounded her. She started to play a gentle melody for a few moments before she started to sing, something she hasn't done since that one song. After the main melody ended the lights behind her and a small orchestra started to play. She glanced a quick look at Tavi who was starring in shock. For the next few minutes she sang, the guitar hummed its tone, and the orchestra played its piece. She sang the last verse and played for a few mesuares before letting the final note echo until it died away, leaving silence. Tears slowly flowed down Vinyl's smiling face when the crowd erupted in cheer. "That, was for you Octavia." The fast beat of her heart skipped a beat and she fell face first into the stage. The noises died away and her vision faded away to a darkness. "Damnit, Vinyl." said Octavia, paceing back and forth in front of Vinyls hospital bed. According to the doctors,her body was experiencing withdrawal. After examination, they depicted lack of food and water. "Why didn't you tell me she wasn't eating or drinking?!" she yelled as Lyra and Bon Bon entered the room. The two mares lowered their heads. Lyra was first to speak. "We didn't want to worry about something we didn't know for certain." replied the mint green mare. Octavia rubbed her forehead with her hoof. "Anything new?" asked Bon Bon. "They've been pumping food and water into her system. She has finally became stable and just needs to wake up." Octavia sighed. Stupid, beautiful, silly, gorgeous mare." she mumbled to herself with a smile. Lyra heard a bit of it and took a hint. "Well, we should leave you two alone." she said, pulling Bon Bon with her magic. "But shouldn't we stay and find more from the doctors?" asked Bon Bon. Lyra glared at her. "No, we should REALLY get going." she said. Bon Bon's eyes widens and nodded. The two of them walked out the door and left Octavia alone with Vinyl. She sat down on the chair next to Vinyl's bed and ran her hoof through her electric blue mane. She kissed Vinyl just below the horn and layer her head on her chest, falling to sleep to the steady beat of her heart. > Three days later > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vinyl walked out of the hospital. She levitatated a bag of painkillers for her head and some other crappy she couldn't remember for her stomach. All her friends, except Tavi, came and bitched at her for not eating or drinking for six days and doing a concert. She walked down the path into Ponyville. She looked around for somewhere relatively cheap to eat since she spent a shifload of money for the orchestra to come down to preform. She spotted Octavia sitting alone at a small cafe table. Vinyl was about to take off her glasses when she remembered they broke her face's fall and we're broken. She approached Tavi who jumped as she saw her come up next her. "Hey, I just got released and I wondered if I-" she was cut off as Tavi embraced her. Vinyl wrapped her hooves around her. "You stupid, silly mare." she said, burying her head into Vinyls chest. Vinyl picked up Tacos head and kissed her. She expected the mare to pull away and smack her or yell at her, instead, she pressed against hers. The stood like this for a few minutes before Vinyl broke off. Tavi cocked her head. "I thought you wanted nothing to do with my sorry ass." she said, smiling. Tavi smiled at her and pecked her cheek. "I think you proved yourself, even if you fell face first onto stage due to lack of food and water." Vinyl brought a hoof up and scratched behind her head and gave a small smile. Tavi kissed her again. "Come with me." she said, pulling Vinyl with her. "What? No your place or mine?" asked Vinyl as she was dragged through the streets. Once they reached Tavi's house, she pushed Vinyl through the door. Before she could react, Tavi kissed Vinyl and her back. Vinyl slowly lowered herself onto the couch, Tavi laying on top of her. "Love me." whispered Tavi into Vinyls ear. She did. Vinyl woke up next to Tavi. The mare was wrapped around her, nuzzling into her neck. Vinyl ran her hoof down Tacos thigh. Tavi wiggled around as she was tickled. "Tavi?" asked Vinyl. "Hmm?" "Thank you. I love you more than anything and can't go on without you." A tear rolled down her face. Tavi kissed her on the forehead, calming the unicorn. "I know. I love you too."