> Grey Heart > by Flamepony2229 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > A Dream > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- As I walk through the unbearable track of harsh terrain, a slight breeze lifts up and rushes past my face. A low hanging tree branch sits attempting to cling to its holder, hoping not to fall onto the ground, I dodge this and move on. "Where am I?" I asks myself, not knowing whether any pony can hear me or not, I trot down the path to which the all too familiar sound of my hooves tap against the ground is all i can hear. The pathway eventually opens up to a stone layered area and I allow myself a gaze at the surroundings; Many trees and murky water is all that I can see in the dense fog that covers my path. "How did I get here?" I ask myself once again. "Hello!? Is any pony there?" I shout as a light silhouette in the shape of a pony unmasks itself from the fog to me. I move in for a closer look as it stands there inanimate, curiously, I move towards the creature with great caution. The figure still stands there unfazed by the fact that I am moving in closer towards it. Suddenly, I hear a loud crack in the distance, "who's there!?" I yelp, startled by the sudden noise. I hear a louder crack and then a large snap, I shudder and run towards the figure. "Help please, help me!" I yell at the top of my lungs "please help for pony sake!" I try again but to no avail. The figure seems to have completely disappeared now and I can't seem to find it anymore, i slow my gallop down to a simple trot again, the fog has also closed in and I now can't see more then a few steps in front of me. "What is this place?" I whisper to my self, hoping that some pony will show up and help. I keep to my course and move on. A large tree branch falls from the sky as I trot onwards, I make one swift movement to my left at an attempt to dodge it, but the branch is to big and is falling to fast, it clips my back and I fall with a loud thud onto the ground. "Ahhhhh, m..m..my back" I stutter in pain as I try to remove the branch from off of me, my grey coat is now covered in a thick layer of mud and I notice a large gash in my back. It won't be a life threatening one but it stings more then anything I have ever felt. I muster up all my strength to keep going but not only did it cause a large seeping wound in my back, but it also sprained one of my hind legs. "Urgh, mphhh" I groan as I try to stand on all fours. "I must find a way out of hear" I tell my self, trying to lighten up my sprits to keep moving. I attempt at a gallop along the track but halt to a quick stop. A large ravine blocks my path, as I take a look around to find another way, I notice that there is no other way. The ravine has moved around and surrounded me in all four directions that are possible to go. My heart starts racing and my breathing becomes heavy as waves of panic flush over me. "W..w..why is th..th..this happening to me?" I say through the panic. Then I notice something, a sign on the edge of the ravine, it sits lonely, beckoning me to come closer and get a better look. I move forwards cautiously towards it and hope that nothing is awaiting for me. It is entitled; WAKE UP! "I..I..I'm asleep!?" I stutter out in panic once again. I curl myself up and start to close my eyes hoping to awake from this apparent slumber that I have found myself in. This nightmare is holding me captive, closing in on me and pulling me further into the madness I have found in it. The darkness begins to role over my frail body as I have shown a moment of weakness to fear and regret themselves. I open my eyes to find nothing but empty blackness and despair all around me. A figure pulls itself away from the darkness and moves in closer towards me, my panic is becoming more agitated, making it possible for me to have passed out right then and there from my heart being over worked to pump blood to my brain and consume the adrenaline that rushes inside if me. The figure moves in and I seem to get a better look at it; bloodshot eyes, black mane and a slender body figure, its coat is dark blue and its irises are dilated to the point of being pin pricks in the darkness, it seems to being almost like a walking corpse apart from it still having the majority if its body untouched by cuts or scrapes. Moving closer it stares at me before starting a slow trot, this begins to escalate to a sprint and the figure charges at me, I try to move but I'm firmly planted to the ground, like my hooves were glued to the ground with an invisible solution. I open my mouth to let out a scream, but nothing comes out, and just as the figure closes in the distance, everything pans into pitch black with nothing but a pain in my ribcage. > Awakening > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Ahhhhhhh!" I scream out in pain as I withdraw myself from my desk I passed out upon. It seems to have the distinct smell of blood and decay emitting from it. I look around and notice I'm back in my room, there is some drips of blood still sitting on my desk and I notice something drips from my mouth; more blood. I quickly scatter towards the bathroom and hurl my stomach contents into the toilet, it consists of a lot more blood. I stager backwards in shock from the realisation I had: I had a nightmare, in this nightmare I was hurt badly, I awoke to find this pain still lingering and blood in my mouth. I stand on all of my hooves, still shaken from the dream to hear a knock at my door. I move towards it and gently grasp the handle with my unicorn magic, the beautiful glow coloured of a light, crystal blue wrapped itself around the handle and I open the door, to find an eager and excited Vinyl Scratch waiting patiently on the other side. "Hey" she spoke as she began to trot into the room, as she usually did. "Uhh... Hey" I answer back nervously, still under shock from the initial dream. "Just thought I'd drop by and see what the progress is on my next album cover? You know, it's kinda important it gets done soon to relea..." She abruptly stops mid sentence and her old expression of happiness and excitement is replaced with that of concern and confusion as she stares at me, "are you okay?" She asks with concern emanating in her voice. "Uhh... y-yea" I manage to stutter out with a little shock that Vinyl had general concern for somepony other than herself. "I've just been having difficulties with some things" I say, not noticing a bit of blood on my lip. "Oh Celestia, you're hurt!" She exclaims. "Let me find the doct..." She is cut off by me. "No, no, no it's fine Vinyl, I'm fine" I say with hopes she won't press her concerns further, "it's... difficult to explain, but that's not important now, your cover is over here" I point a hoof towards my cluttered dining room table, it has a few magazines and a newspaper. I quickly clear these away from the table to show the cover for Vinyl; a large DJ PON3 printed on it with a light grey background and black flames burning behind it, "hope your happy with the result...?" I trail off getting quieter as more nerves creep their way into my system. "I love it!" She exclaims with joy. "It works perfectly with the album!" "Uhhhh... that's good... I guess..." I trail off again. "How much do I owe you for this?" She asks pulling out her bit pouch with her magic, surrounding it with a mystical blue aura. "Oh, uhhh... nothing, it's fine, I don't need anything, call it... a favour for a friend" I end that note with a wink and move off to fix myself some form of breakfast, with what leftovers are from last night, that's when I notice a large note on the fridge, scribbled on the note in almost the messiest writing I've seen is one word; Dream. At this, things become slightly dizzy and I fall flat towards the tiles on my kitchen. I hear a faint tapping of hooves before everything turns black.... "H-h-hello? Can you hear me?" A faint voice sounds in the background as I finally come through, my mind still spinning, I open my eyes to find a sweating Vinyl Scratch, panic flushing over her, staring down at me, her glasses are removed and she is panting from what I guessed was adrenalin, her eyes were beautiful consisting of a dark red that shined over me, I've never seen them up close like this before. It took me a moment to realise that I had been staring at her like this for nearly a minute now and quickly I answered, with a shake of my head to get my thoughts straight. "Oh, yea I'm okay now... I guess" I answer nervously hoping that she wouldn't notice that I had been staring at her like that. "What in Celestias name happened to you? One minute your trotting down the hall towards your kitchen, then the next I hear a loud thump and your laying on the floor! What's going on Grey Heart?" At this she holds out a hoof suggestively to help me to my hooves. I accept great fully and stand on all my legs, wobbly but they hold. "I'm not sure..." I trail off once again into the depths of my mind, I seem to recall seeing a sign written on my fridge and then it all goes black, all I can seem to remember after that is that in this black space from who knows where, I saw the same figure standing tall over me and almost crushing me with its fore hooves around my neck. "All I know is I'm okay now Vinyl, you don't have too stay if you don't want too" I hint towards the door with a hoof, she looks at me curiously before giving me a quick hoof shake and walking towards the door, I open and she walks out. "Please don't scare me like that again" she tells me as she begins leaving and ends that note with a wink, I blush slightly and reply "I'll try, can't promise you though" I wink back on that quirky remark and give a slight smirk, she just stands in shock for a moment, possibly because of what I said, Once she leaves I allow myself some time to mull what I said over myself; "I'll try, can't promise you though." Yea nice one brain, fucked me over once again. After thinking for a while on the matter at hoof and face hoofing a few times, I give myself a quick once over from my own view of myself. My mane, as I look up, is all frizzy and messed up from the way I usually have it, my coat is still its usual grey but with a hint of red, probably from the blood that leaked from me after my dream. "I think I should clean myself up" I quickly whisper to myself giving a smirk, I move towards the bathroom and have a proper look at myself in the mirror, my diamond blue eyes shine back at me, my cutie mark I notice in the mirror is slightly off its usual colour of dark grey, it seems to be lighter with a hint of red in it as well. I turn to get a better look at it; first thing I notice is that it's colour is way off, and it seems to be staying like that of a light red, the heart with an arrow shot straight and clean through a red heart full of passion and hope, not a heart of despair and regret. "Wow" I smirk at myself in the mirror, "I look like shit" I say running a hoof through my black and dark grey mane, it feels a little greasy so I decide to take a shower. After a nice warm shower, I finally pull up enough courage to enter the kitchen once again. The light that filters through the curtains reflect a soft glow over my muzzle making me feel more alive then I've ever felt before. > Ponyville > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The light from the sun was not what I had hoped to greet me outside, I knew it was out there, but I didn't want to greet it in my tired face. I decide to stick to the shadows for two reasons; I am not a sociable pony, many of my friends are ones I've made under alcohol and in rave clubs, such as Vinyl Scratch, and the other reason is my own poniality, I've hurt so many of my friends and they have hurt me, the last pony that I had been hurt by was my previous marefriend, who left me for another stallion. We never really got along anyway, we were just at the same place at the same time and hit it off from there. But still, it will be a long time before I finally trust somepony enough that I would give my own life for them. As I trot towards my next destination I begin too feel the urge to turn around, like I'm being watched by somepony. As I turn, I seem to be greeted by a lovely bright pink pony, she is very perky and is carrying a smile that nearly reaches her ears, quite the feature for a pony. Don't question the logic of pinkie pie, you will just hurt yourself. And that's why I drink your sorrows away brain. "Hi! I just saw that you looked so down and needed a cheering up so I've come over here to help you with that or is it a problem for your mind only in which case I can offer a party to go with that or maybe you wish to be alone in which I can't let you do that as everypony needs to have a friend to be with!" She exclaims as she keeps looking at me. How the hay does she even do that? Fuck, that hurt a bit. "Uhhhhh... No pinkie it's fine, I'm happy" I answer back putting on my best fake smile, she stares at me for a bit before abruptly disappearing under a table of the shop she stopped me by. I check under the table with curiosity getting the better of me, even though I already know the answer, I still do it. Gone. She was not there. I shrug and move onwards down my lonely and miserable trek. Everywhere I look, smiles and laughter stream across the streets, young fillies dance around with each other as they play jump rope and talk about odd subjects like how to get there cutie marks, they all seem so happy and content to move on with there lives, no matter what troubles may cross their minds. I find my destination, being the local market, once again I stick to the shadows of the market and move towards each location I wish to be in and avoid making necessary eye contact and use as little words as possible, they all can see that something is wrong, but they don't push for information as they know what I have done, the things I've seen, they all know my dark side. I've tried to hide it truly I have, but it seems to always come back and bite my flank with sharp teeth, and damn they hurt. Why can't they see the good in me I will never understand to a full content, but the fact that they are nearly nervous to the fact I'm around is what hurts the most. "A basket of apples, please" I say as I count out the necessary bits to pay for them "Eeyup" is all I'm greeted with from a tall red stallion before a basket is placed in front of me, with twelve sweet and juicy apples. Wrapping the basket in my magic, I toss the bits over and move off towards the park, a customary place I've decided to go to in order to relax and hopefully relieve stress. As I lay on the grass, back adjacent to the soft ground and my head held high to watch as clouds move by, I chew hungrily away at an apple as my previous breakfast was a small oats bar and a coffee, the flavours that most would find dance upon their pallet seem to linger in despair and hatred for me, I have a quick glance down at my cutie mark to notice its colour has faded back to the usual dark grey. Maybe my cutie mark changes in colour to the mood I am in deep inside. Shut up brain, your logic is unwelcome at this time. The battle continues to rage on inside of me, being a conflict of knowledge, logic and depression, all fighting for control over my very being. The clouds seem to depict strange shapes as I stare at them, one of which seemed to take the shape of a heart, that then breaks abruptly into two pieces. Another cloud appears in the shape of two ponies, side by side, in love. They begin to drift slowly apart, and I start to shy away from the clouds now, but then I notice something: they move back together, slowly but surely, they move in side by side once again. A tear begins to well up in my eye as I stare intensely at the cloud above, it represents all my life has ever been, all it ever was, except we never came back together. She is tearing me apart from the inside, maybe this was a sign, for better things to come, for hope. Why do you even bother with this life of yours, it's not worth it, you are the saddest pony I've ever had to live with. That's because I am you, idiot, this is our life, not just mine, a battle we both have to face. Are you sure we have to face it, we never have had it good, it's all been unhappiness ever since she left, why not end it all now? You're telling me to end it all now? We are the same being brain, I am the one that makes the physical decisions, so shut up and do your job. All I am saying is that there are other options then torturing your self like this, many say to pick up the broken pieces and move on, well your pieces are already picked up and they are in the wrong places, maybe you should "opt out" if you know what I mean. You know what brain, you're right, my life is over, and so is yours > The Mare > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- After finishing my apples, I set off back home, still mulling over my thought process that had just occurred, that my brain even thinks I'm worthless, but tonight, that shall all change. My trek back home was a dark one, the night time is quite pleasant when you think about it, another thing I shall miss from this world of hatred. As I open my door, I trot into the room and raise a bottle of whiskey to my dry lips, the bitter taste soothes my throat with a passion. Many say alcohol is what causes these temptations, I find they suppress them. I start a slow accent towards the roof of my house, three floors up, this should be quick. The wind is cold against my face, and a slight downpour begins to rattle against the roof, causing a slight shiver to run down my back. The rain begins to pick up now as I edge myself towards the roofing edge, my hooves making there all to familiar sound against the wooden roof. That's when I notice her: her mane coloured light red with orange streaks shimmering through it, her coat of a light white, her cutie mark seemed to be a beautiful rose, but not an ordinary rose, this rose had light tinge if red, not the simple dark rose red we all normally see. She is moving slowly around wilting along in the darkness of the rain, her mane dropping down nearly touching the ground. She is beautiful and I can tell that she is hurt, not on the outside, but her heart is what is hurt. I begin to attempt at backing off the roof. What are you doing? Are you backing out from this? You can't, I knew you didn't have the guts too pull through with it. You are wrong brain, once again, you have tricked me into something and it isn't going to work, I'm getting down, whether you like it or not. Then let's see if you can avoid slipping off this wet roof, shall we? And with that last statement from my brain, my hooves give way underneath me and I begin a decent downward towards the cobblestone paved ground, my life begins to flash in my eyes as I find my self staring into the abyss of death itself, the ground looks so peaceful, it beckons me towards it. Then I begin to re-think my decisions, I was throwing myself off a building for no true reason, my heart was broken, so what, everyponys heart is broken at some stage. I find myself ever closer to the ground, darkness begins to consume me with the force of the updraft spraying against my face. I hear a loud thud before everything turns pitch black. ******************************************************************************* 1 week later ******************************************************************************* My eyes lift open slowly to the disgusting smell of decay and medicinal material, it drifts in my muzzle and I manage to contain my sneeze, I take a look around at my surroundings: a dreary room with several machines blinking and beeping in a rhythmic tune, some powerful lights seem to beam from the ceiling blinding me as I look up, I attempt to twist my neck to get a better view of the room before I get hammered with a sharp pain that stretches across my back, I seem to have broken a bone in my lower neck, one that needs some time to heal. Then the unthinkable happened, the beautiful mare that I saw just outside before my inevitable fall to my thought upon doom, quickly rises and looks down at me. Her eyes are of bright pink and her smile is beautiful, I've never ever believed in "love at first sight" but this truly had something special to it. My dreamy sensation is interrupted by the voice of an angel (or so I thought). "Doctor, he's awake!" I hear being sprouted from this mare, her voice soothes my worries once more, again it was beautiful. Yea, I know what you would like to do to her. Brain, shut the fuck up, you need to pull yourself out of the gutter. "Ahhhh, good you're awake, I thought it would take longer than that, you have really pulled through well" the stallion says trotting into the room, a medical clipboard in hand "it's time for you to have a dose of this medicine" he says tipping a bottle of liquid into a small spoon, it looks brown and disgusting, but before I can protest it runs down my throat. "Why am I here?" I ask hoping to get some answers to what happened to me, the doctor looks at the mare before looking back to me, he was probably thinking about his answer. He shifts around uncomfortably before he finally opens his mouth to talk, "you decided to take an attempt on your life, is what was believed from the initial report, this mare found you plummeting to the ground at a high speed and brought you in as fast as she could, you came in with a broken spinal cord and two cracked ribs, you are very lucky to be alive" he spoke with sever seriousness in his voice, it sent a few shivers down my back, to which the medicine had numbed the searing pain. "This mare here sat beside you the whole time not moving for one second to even eat, I ended up bringing a meal or two in for her" he said looking over at her for a brief second, then looking back towards me to end his overview of what happened. "I'm sure if you have anypony to thank for anything, it's this mare here, she damn well saved your life." With that he leaves the room to leave us some peace and quiet, possibly some time to catch up as well, since she did save my life, we should at least get to know each other as friends, at least. "Thank you...f-f-for saving me like that...I don't know what I was doing..." I trail off as I look deeply at her, she stares at me with what seems like shock. "Uhhhh...i-i-it was uhhhhh...it was just...well I saw you fall, and I thought that I should help you." She answers back nervously. I smile warmly, and I honestly thought I felt my cutie mark change colour to the same red of her rose. "My name is Grey Heart, it's an honour to meet you" I say, extending a hoof to the best of my abilities. She graciously shakes it with a smile. "I'm Sweet Rose, I'm happy we met like this...oh but n-n-not like we did...uhhhhh...I'm happy we are getting to know each other like this." she claims with a nervous hint in her voice, she begins to blush slightly at this remark, her cheeks turning a beautiful light pink. I too give a slight blush and we begin general small talk. After a while of getting to know each other, I find out some interesting facts about this beautiful mare: she is from Fillydelphia and has a natural talent in flowers (no surprise there), she likes all the small shenanigans that happen about Ponyville, for example: the cutie mark crusaders and there wondrous journeys about the place. Which is what convinced her too move here and set up a small Rose shop in the lower district of Ponyville. > Return home > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I trot slowly forwards whilst staring intensely at my door, I sigh and open it. The room is so bare and disgusting to me, it lacks any colour or detail and smells rotten, much like me. It needed something, but what, I can't put my hoof on it. "I've got it!" I yell aloud, not caring if anypony heard me, they wouldn't care either if I had yelled aloud, it wouldn't have been the first time."It needs some more life to it." I immediately decide to pick up my saddle bags and head off to Rose's flower shop, I'm sure she would love it as much as I would. I begin my slow decent down the stairs and towards my front door when I hear a faint knocking come from the other side of it. I grasp the door handle with my magic and pull it open, to my astonishment, there, standing in all her glory, is none other than Rose herself. She is smiling warmly but shyly, it looks rather cute. In her mouth she is holding a Bouquet of beautiful red roses. Her mane is brushed out in beautiful strokes, the red and orange corresponding perfectly with the flowers. She stares a bit, nerves running through her (not that hard to tell, mind you) before finally opening her mouth to speak. "H-Hello" she stutters out "I was hoping this address was right, it was however our first mee..." I shuddered at the thought of what she was saying "...ting place...sorry for bringing that up..." She trails off and begins to blush furiously. "No it's fine...thank you, once again, I don't know where I would be without you...would you like too come in" I finish pointing a hoof at to the inside of my house, still cluttered with different bits and pieces. I smile nervously and blush slightly hoping she doesn't mind the mess. Rose takes the offer and walks into the room, she sets the flowers down on the table, "I brought these over for you, I thought you might like them" she states, once again, blushing. "They look great" I reply, "would you like a drink? I have water, coffee and tea." "Ummmm...maybe a tea, thank you." She replies. Yes make your move, you have the biggest chance of your life, make it count. Brain, I will not hesitate to make this coffee alcoholic. "I'll go and make it, meanwhile make your self comfortable." I say with a wink Very comfortable. Brain don't forget there is still some whiskey in the fridge. Because that would help you with her a bit more, wouldn't it. Touché brain, touché. As I move towards the cupboard to find the kettle that is hidden away in the back of it, guarded by the darkness. I notice a strange note against the back wall of the cupboard, this note is not an ordinary not though. Vinyl has written it. Grey, I hope you are feeling better from what happened last time, I was just hoping you could design a new cover for me soon, it would be greatly appreciated, I also am deeply sorry that I "broke" into your house to deliver this note. Hope it wasn't of any inconvenience to you. Vinyl. This note was quite strange to say the least, I never expected it to be there, let alone did I expect it to be from Vinyl, I may not be the most noticeable of ponies, but I do notice when something is out of place, and it was still odd that Vinyl had genuine concern for another pony. I simply shrug the note off and decide to get started on the tea for Rose. Some very elegant tea leaves from Manehatten that I picked up when I last went there for some more designers paper. The tea blended perfectly, the smell drifted across my muzzle as I lifted it into the air to return to Rose, she had made herself comfortable on the couch next to a few rough sketches and an empty pizza box. I set the tea down in front of her and remove the pizza box from the couch and slump down next to her. "So..." She begins, "you live here, all on your own?" The enquiry completely caught me off guard but I eventually muster up enough confidence to answer honestly "well... Yea I do, it's not much, I have never had anypony to share it with" I look back at her to see her smiling lightly at me. "I am the same as you, in more ways then one. I've never had anypony to share anything with either." I nod back in interest as we talk, the smell of the tea still strong in the air. I may have found somepony new in my life, somepony I can share my deepest and darkest secrets, if only I had realised they were here all along. > Chapter 6: Confusions > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The day carried on as usual; I sat up, ponder on things that I'm surprised I can even comprehend and then the next day would begin. Though, the next day, would not be an ordinary day, tomorrow, I planed to ask Rose out. I had absolutely no idea how I would go about it, I just knew I wanted too. I initially came up with a simple, yet effective plan; I would trot up to her shop, give a knock, and then start simple small talk to attempt to heighten my confidence at asking her out for a coffee, or maybe a visit to the park. I just had one problem I needed to overcome; I sucked at small talk. Staring intently into the mirror that crowded my small bathroom bench space I began to start talking with myself. "Hello Rose! How are you today?" No, no, no that's too simple. Why not just go there now, forget this thing called 'small talk', just go and ask her. Haven't you learnt anything brain? This is Rose we are talking about here, I can't just simply go and ask, we need to be nice to her, and if we succeed, then we have one less night to think of anything but drowning ourselves in alcohol. Obviously you haven't then if you just want me to crash and burn. How about I shut myself off and you go in with your wits and a sleeping brain, where will that take you? Probably further then you could. And there it is, I'm off now. Good luck. And at that moment my brain simply went dead and I couldn't think in a clear and concise line anymore, to put it simply: I was brain dead. After sorting out my brain and eventually waking it up (turns out all it needed was a head desk) I began to set off towards Rose's shop. The sights of ponyville had never been so uplifting; birds singing, ponies shopping around the place, Pinkie Pie putting on another one of her random singing moments. Today was just great. Making my way through Ponyville I start getting closer and closer to her shop. I honestly can't say I've never felt so fucking nervous in my life, and that just isn't what I need right now. I quickly shut that feeling away and try trotting along with my head held high like a noble in Canterlot. Some of the ponies give me a few looks of confusion, but I couldn't really give a shit. And there it is. Rose's shop. I almost instantly freeze up, my nerves instantly returning quickly. What should I say? Has it not been enough time? How am I supposed to do this? I stand there, dumbfounded by nerves, unsure of my next move....