> "The Pink Theory." > by PrincessLunas Assistant > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > 1. Adjustments. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just outside Ponyvile, during a seemingly normal summer sunset; the arid heat was quite low and dropping as the blazing summer sun set over the western horizon. A gentle wind blew over a dirt road and carried a few loose tree leaves with it. The wind was stopped by, an at first, gentle force. This force swirled about and compacted the leaves and dust into a compact ball then using friction between the atoms of both bits of matter to super heat them into a molten ball of pure heat. As that molten ball began to burn the dust beneath it and heat the air around it: the ball suddenly imploded upon it self and was replaced with a miniature wormhole that sucked in random items around it. Twigs, rocks, etc. After a minute of sucking things in and depositing them in random spots through out the universe the wormhole, like the molten ball of matter, imploded upon itself with enough force to suck in light and never let it go. For half a second the very fabric of existence bent for a second as a brand new being was crafted from the very energy that had been created the molten ball and then wormhole. This energy had a sort of conscious about it. It sensed everything. It quickly did a little scan of the planet it was on and took the form of the most intelligent life form on this planet. A colorful little horse-like creature. This being became a lightly hued cyan pony. It took a male gender and upon noticing the useless propulsion mechanism used by these "Ponies" called "Hooves" it quickly made something on it's head that could be used to grip and manipulate things. It was a pointy little bone-like item that could generate an interesting force used by the local wild life called "Magic". This new Unicorn started in a gentle trot down the dirt road as he adjusted to his new extremities. He felt his kin in other universes suck away his endless powers and leave him with this "Magic." and a few basic abilities. This generated a sort of heat in his head. After a .0007 second diagnosis he concluded it was slight anger and continued in his trot down the dirt road. As he trotted he felt the air around shift and move from high-pressure to low pressure. This shift created a low-temperature wind that made him shiver slightly out of discomfort. He let the air out of his new lungs in a sort of light exhale. He classified it as a "sigh.". After a few minutes of trotting through the light evening chill this new male pony finally began to see life. In the distance at approximately four hundred and thirty seven meters he saw a little pink figure coming right form him. He increased his speed and so did the pink thing in the distance. He met it after a short elevated trot and it called out to him. "Helllllllllllooooooooo!!! Are you new in town! Ohhhhhh joy!! You can be my new friend! Oooooiiiiieeee We'll have such a great time! Do you like swimming! Oh oh! We should go swimming soon!" The cyan unicorn was silent but quickly absorbed this Pink ponies language through telepathic means and was able to form a sentence after a few seconds of silent staring between the two of them. "Who...are......you?" He said struggling with his vocal cords. The Pink pony suddenly became very bright with a full tooth smile and eccentric voice of joy. "I'm Pinkie Pie! I'm sooooo happy to meet you! What's your name? I hope it starts with an 'A' ''! "I.....don't really have a name." The cyan unicorn stated dully. "I suppose if you wish to address me as something I'd like to be called 'Nate'. Quite orderly and quick, while still being friendly." "Nate?" Pinkie repeated. "Thats a very odd name, but okay. Hi, Nate! Would you like to go swimming tomorrow? Oh! Or we could go visit my friend Twilight Sparkle and we could take her swimming after!" "Slow down! Please." Nate said calmly and slowly still adjusting to his new vocal cords. "I'm don't know who this 'Twilight Sparkle' is. I don't even know where I am right now." "You're very silly, aren't you? Well so am I!" Pinkie exclaimed loudly. "Oooooohhh we're gonna be best friends!" "No, no, no, no! Slow it down, girly!" Nate said calmly taking a few steps back from the pink pony. "Just tell me.....where in my universe am I?" "Where are you? Why you're in the wonderful town of Ponyvile! In the fun land of Equestria!" Pinkie near shouted. "Okay then." Nate said with a sigh. "May I assume that this town's inhabitants are ponies?" "Well..duhhh, silly!" Pinkie said hopping over to Nate and playfully messing up his dark red mane. Nate hadn't noticed his mane color earlier. He flattened it out after Pinkie's playful gesture. "Well...erm........I don't know. Take me to your leader." He said dismissively waving a hoof away from him. Pinkie's smile turned a straight line as she thought for a second. "You mean the Princesses?" "Sure. They sound important. Let me speak with these 'Princesses.' And on the way maybe you can teach me a little about this 'Equestria.' " Nate said as he and Pinkie began walking up the road. As they walked the pink pony went on and on about herself and how much she liked fun and everything about it. She seemed to be a very "Excitable" character to say the very least. Nate found her a tad funny though and would crack a smile at most silly faces and poses she'd put herself in when describing something or really doing anything. > 2. Peck > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Instead of walking all the way to the Princesses of Equestria, who were supposedly kinda far away in another town, Pinkie took Nate to her home in Ponyvile. She politely fetched a few extra pillows and a large pink cotton blanket for him. She gave him her bed while she went to sleep on her couch. Upon waking up for the first time in the morning, Nate found himself very thirsty. He mentally made a glass of water appear before him out of nothing and was soon drinking it while laying in the quite comfortable lightly colored bed. He stared out the window at the dawn sun and decided he might as well get up and stretch. While he wasn't quite used to a physical body, he did vacation to his twin sister's universe every now and again. She had an obsession with some tall two legged creatures that had just developed space travel on one of her worlds. Funny story, she accidentally made them a few million or so years previous out of smaller hairy animals out of boredom. As Nate walked about Pinkie's home he noticed that a lot of it bore the color: Pink. He wondered if this was a simple coincidence or if Pinkie had painted her home to match the first four letters of her name. As he went located the small kitchen, he saw Pinkie fumbling about behind a small counter. "Heyyyyy, sleepy-head! Sleep well?" Nate yawned as he said. "Like I a new-born." Pinkie smiled at him. "That's Grrrrreat!" "So....you promised me a Princess today." Nate said recalling their conversation from the previous day. Pinkie nodded. "While you were beating up the hay, I went to my friend Twilight and she sent a letter to Princess Celestia. I was gonna come and wake you." "Oki-doki-loki." Nate acknowledged. "Thank you very much. For your service to me, you can have anything you like." "Hey that's my...! Wait? What do you mean anything?" Pinkie asked, looking at Nate and tilting her head about 45 degrees to her right. She raised an eyebrow and her usual plastered on smile faded slightly. "Well...as I told you. I'm not from around here. I come from a very....resourceful family." Nate said with a shrug. "Resourceful, in this context, means we're the kind of ponies that can acquire just about anything with a wave of our extremities. I could give you a car or aeroplane if you so desired." "Ohhhhhh, and huhhhh?" Pinkie said tilting her head further. Hitting the 90 degree mark. Her eye brow nearing her puffy mane. "Well an aeroplane is something one of my twin sister's creatures decided to create...or was it two of them. I forget, it just kinda flies through the air when fed disgusting blackish liquid. And as for a car, it needs the same liquid gunk, but instead of flying: it simply goes on the land at very fast speeds. I personally never liked the little buggers, but then again, I like civilizations that are in that sort of...barbaric state where they just started forming empires and such. Pretty much like this one, although you ponies are very sophisticated considering the state of your knowledge of the universe. No petty factions or squabbles." Nate explained to Pinkie. "Where exactly do you come from?" Pinkie asked, her head nearly upside-down at this point. Her neck must've had no bones to speak of. "I come from nothing. I exist, yet I do not. You could say I go where I please or where I'm needed. Or maintain my distance and observe." Nate said as he generated another glass of water from nothing and began sipping. Pinkie's eyes widened and her head quickly spun back to it's original position as she watched him sip upon the glass that had not existed until 10 seconds earlier. "How in the wide, wide, wide world of Equestria did you do that?" "I'm resourceful. Something from nothing, as I've said." Nate said with a shrug. "Now onto your reward. Just name it and I can make it happen." Pinkie smiled and her eyes left Nate as she thought a second. "I dunno. I need a bit more time." She said with a shrug. "Fine. Just tell me soon before I forget I owe you something. Remember: anything your heart or mind desires. I'll make it happen within one blink of your pretty little pony eyes." Nate said, now he turned the glass of water into a bowl of sugary flakes in milk with a silver spoon protruding from it. ___________________________ After a quick breakfast Pinkie and Nate made their way to Twilight's tree-like library. Walking along the little dirt roads that Ponyvile consisted of, the duo made small chat. "So....any hobbies?" Nate asked, walking to Pinkie's left. He looked over to her and met her excited eyes as she danced and jogged lightly. Seeming to listen to an odd eccentric to song about how good life is and how it should be enjoyed to its fullest...and on how anything with sugar should be devoured on site. "Ohhh, you know really anything...fun! Swimming, dancing, even watching paint dry as long as I have friends to do it with!" Pinkie said now hopping up and down, keeping forward momentum and keeping in pace with Nate as if she was still walking but constantly changing her Y coordinates on an XYZ grid. "Huh. You live a very....uhhh....joyful, yeah that word works, a joyful life, eh?" Nate said, trying not to focus on Pinkie's bouncing. "Eyupppp!" Pinkie squealed out in an excited high pitched tone. Nate shrugged. "In all my many eons of meeting beings of intelligence, I've never met anything such as you." He said. "Awwww...thanks! I've never met any-pony as strangely awesome as you!" Pinkie squealed out, stopping Nate with a hoof on his shoulder and then leaning in and giving him a light peck on the cheek with her lips. Nate froze as if he had become a comet with a pause button. > 3. "Princess of 'a' sun." > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "What was that? Did my new-nervous system just try and implode or something?" Nate asked feeling his freshly kissed cheek with one hoof. "No silly!" Pinkie laughed. "I gave you a kiss on the cheek!" Nate looked at Pinkie with a look of shock. "You pressed your lips against my face? Is that like a symbolic gesture? What do you wish to kill me or something? Should I 'kiss' the cheek of ponies I don't like or wait....you like me and you wished to show it with a kiss? Am I getting this right?" "Yeah! You see, ponies kiss each other on the cheek, well mostly mares do this. You see, if you went up to random to mares and started kissing them on the cheeks because you liked them well they'd think you liked them in a romantic way. When mares do it, we're showing we approve of you and like you a bit more than we like others." Pinkie explained with a light and toothy smile. "Now if I were to do something like this..." Pinkie put a hoof around the back of Nate's head. Before he could protest or question this, she yanked his head to hers and pressed the two together. Squishing their lips together and parting his with her tongue. He panicked at first as the nerves inside of his mouth reported to his mind that Pinkie's tongue was mucking about inside of his mouth. After a few seconds of Pinkie tasting the inside of his mouth, she released him. Nate took in a gasp of air and breathlessly asked. "Have you lost your mind?!" "No...I don't think so, at least." Pinkie said thinking a moment. "Any how, as I was saying....when ponies that do what we just did are romantically committed to one other and like each other in a special way." "Well I'm not sure we like each other in that special way." Nate said as licked his lips. "So why did you do that?" Pinkie smiled, closed her eyes, and shrugged. "I dunno. Seem like it would be fun to try." Nate regained his composure. "Let's just keep walking. I still need to meet your leader. From a quick examination of the other ponies in town, you seem to be the only one with this sort of.....'Pinkie' mindset. That must be a statement of your rarity. I, an omnipotent being with a five digit IQ, have never seen someone or something with your 'Pinkie' thinking style." "IQ?" Pinkie repeated as they resumed their light walk to Twilight's library. "Something a few beings in another world developed. Measures intellegence, the higher the better. Their smartest was about 180 or so. I've done the test on many other sentient beings in other universes and come up with similar, usually between 90 and 180. Odd eh? I'm one of twelve beings in existence to have a 5 digit IQ. I think mine was around sixty nine thousand or so." Nate said. "Oki-doki-loki! You must be a brainiac like Twilight then!" Pinkie said with a big grin. "In a way, yes." Nate said. They arrived at the tree library. Upon entering through the small wooden door, they saw a light lavender unicorn with a long silky mane and lavender colored wings that matched the body perfectly. This unicorn was talking to a taller white unicorn with wings that matcher her body as well. This white one wore a golden crown and odd golden shoe-like items. They were in mid conversation when Nate and Pinkie walked into the big, tree trunk room that the library was built into. The conversation seemed to be oritented on Nate. ".....she said Nate wanted meet the leader of Equestria." The lavender one was saying as Nate entered hearing range. "I assume that I am the Nate you speak of." Nate introduced, nodding his head slightly. "Good morning, Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia." He greeted guessing on which was which from the head gear and statures of the two. The taller approached him. She raised her right front hoof in some form of shake gesture. "I am the leader of Equestria." "Glad to meet you." Nate said taking her hoof and kissing it. "I am Nate. Forgive me if I do any gestures or use any terminology that seems outlandish. I am still adjusting to this colorful world." "We should talk in private, then. I wish to know more about you." Celestia stated, retracting her hoof. "I have an idea." Nate said. He raised his right hoof, closed his eyes, and said. "We'll be back in a few seconds, girls. " He placed his right hoof on the Princess and the two disappeared. _________________________ Nate opened his eyes and took his hoof off Celestia. He looked around at the all-too familiar blackness of nothing. He saw the confused face of the pony Princess. "I thought I'd let you pick a setting." "What do you mean?" Princess Celestia asked looking at him with a puzzled expression. "I can create anything out of nothing. This place is nothing and right now, it just wants to create something for you at the moment. Just say any name of any place you know of and this blackness will form into that place." Nate explained with a smile. "Okay.....umm......A donut cafe." She said to the blackness. Upon the ending of her sentence a room formed around them. With in a few nano-seconds furniture and decor formed as well. Many circular tables on singular metal legs stood about on a black and white tile floor with white walls and a ceiling with many little shaded upside-down lamps hanging from it by dark cords. A glass display counter with cash register and tip jar had farmed. In the glass display many donuts and small pastries decorated the inside in rows. A closed door behind the counter was marked "Employees only" on a brass plaque. The wall opposite to the counter had a large glass window that showed a sunny day outside in the town of Canterlot. Many ponies on their ways to work and other duties walked about outside but never took notice of the new donut cafe that had just formed. "Yeah, they don't see us because their not really real." Nate stated. "This is just a formation of your mind." "Okay...this is amazing, Nate." Princess Celestia said in a state of awe. "No amount of magic I could muster would ever be able to do something such as this." " Well, of course." Nate said. "Your magic is limited to the capabilities of magic and the user behind it. My powers are only limited to my mind and what things can exist at the same time. Well right now I can not destroy living things or change into an energy-god state due to me being on a sort of punishment from my siblings." "Punishment for what exactly?" Celestia asked. She was suddenly uncomfortable being around this God. If he deserved punishment he must've done something that could possibly be monstorous. "I may have gone to my twin sister's personal universe and mucked about with her favorite creatures. I messed with their genes and gave one the knowledge and intelligence to comprehend atomic physics and construct a bomb from that. That bomb proved to be an incredible super weapon and got many killed during a 'World War.' they were having at the time." Nate explained. "My brothers and sisters sentenced me to demi-god status as punishment." "Interesting." Celestia said levitating a glazed donut from behind the glass display counter to her. Then walking to one of the circular tables with Nate and sitting across from him as she bit into the donut. "Why did they send you my world?" "They wanted me to live among the beings I didn't even know existed until yesterday. Your world is at the edge of the universe. About four million light years away from here is basically an anti-matter wall that is ever expanding and growing further away. A few billion years ago, your pegasi could have flown up into the sky, had it or this world existed at the time, and touched anti-matter." Nate spoke in a calm and very collective and friendly voice as he explained this to the Princess. "That is intriguing." She said. "As you can infer from my name, I am a Celestial being. I control a celestial body. Specifically the Sun, my sister controls the Moon. Her name is Luna, by the way." Nate smiled at the Princess. "Let me just clarify something for you. You are the Princess of 'a' sun" Nate said, matter-o-factly. "Your sister controls one of many moons. Many being a number followed by a number of zeros that could match the Ponyvile population with each zero to one pony. There are many, many, many worlds and suns. They are the stars you can use in the sky at night. Well the suns are. The planets do not generate enough light to usually be seen from the lands of Equestria. " > 4. Pinkie's something. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "You claim to know quite a bit about this universe. Yet all I've seen of your powers could be explained with simple parlor tricks. Maybe a fancy teleportation spell to a random closed donut shop in Canterlot and such. In which case you are guilty of trespassing." Celestia said sternly. Nate smirked and called over a donut for himself. "I have a feeling you don't beleive me when I say I am a god." "Not in slightest. Not with these parlor tricks at least." Celestia said with a light shrug. She bit into her donut again. "Fine. " Nate said with his continuing smirk. He bit into a glazed donut of his own. Once it was chewed and swallowed he spoke again. "If you don't beleive me. Even with my temporarily restricted powers, I can still do things no pony in Equestria can do easily." Nate stated. Then he smiled at Celestia and continued. "How would you like to be a stallion?" "What?" Celestia asked. She was taken back as she noticed her voice was much deeper. She examined her body and noticed the muscles in her chest where more noticeable. He looked at her thicker hooves, licked her rougher lips with her larger tongue. "Turn me back, now!" She commanded in her deeper male voice. "As you wish." Nate said with a dismissive wave. Celestia now looked down at her chest and found her tail in the way. She looked back up at Nate with an annoyed expression and a raised eyebrow. "What?" He said with a shrug. "You said and I quote 'Turn me back'. I turned turned your body around and kept your head mounted at the same position to eliminate mass-confusion. If I simply turned you around, you would have been facing a wall." "Put my body back to normal, please." Celestia said struggling to keep her calm. "Fine" Nate said with another wave. Celestia looked down at her once again female and correct-facing body. He sighed. "If that was magic, that was much more than what even I could manage." She said dully. "I suppose you must be some form of god or demi-god." she said with a sigh of defeat. She had secretly hoped this was some phoney pony. "Thank you." Nate and Celestia returned to the point in time that was 20 seconds after they had left. Each with the knowledge of their conversation with each other. "That was quite fun, but I sure am hungry for more than donuts." Nate said with a smile to Pinkie. "Let's go get something to eat, Pinkie. You've been a gracious host and wonderful tour guide, so Mr. Tour Guide...lets go find your favorite restaurant. " Pinkie's smile threatened to leave her face as it grew. She bounced with joy and landed right in front of Nate. Their noses nearly touching. "You're going to love it!" She squealed out in excitement. _____________________________________ The duo left the library almost as quickly as they had arrived and as they walked Pinkie realized what she wanted for her 'anything'. She grew a tad calm and serious. "Nate?" She called out softly, stopping him with her hoof. "Yes?" He said as he turned to meet the Pink mare's eyes. "I know what 'anything' I want from you." She said with a small smile. "Okay. Name it." Nate said reading himself to make something. Pinkie grew a tad-nervous. "I want.........a......" Pinkie seemed to hesitate, but then a determined shine entered her pupils"..........a date!" "Oki-doki I'll grant you your....................date!?" Nate exclaimed as a flaming golden moose with lasers for pupils appeared then disappeared within 10 seconds, to his left. "Yes." Pinkie said with a polite nod. "With you to be exact." "Why do you want to date me?" Nate asked. "I thought you said 'anything'?" Pinkie said her eyes growing wet and a frown playing across her lips. "And besides...*sniff* don't you like me enough to go on a date with me?" Nate was posed in an awkward stance as he looked at the little joyous pony that seemed like she was about to cry. "Oh my! No! I didn't mean to sound like I didn't want to if offered. It's just I didn't expect the request. Well....uhhhhhh wish granted, I suppose? We can go and do whatever you like on this date." Nate said with a large smile as he tried to cheer up the nearly-upset pony. She began to bounce with joy as large, almost psychically impossible, smile showed off her joy like a giant golden bill board. "Sooooooooo.......uhhh yeah. Shall I umm escort you to a fine establishment of your choosing? Or should I ask around a bit and find a nice place for us to have this 'date'?" Nate asked. "I have a super-duper awesome idea!" Pinkie squealed out as she bounced up and down in front of Nate. He looked up and down following Pinkie with his eyes as she bounced. He thought about what he had just agreed to. He was wondering what this strange pony would do with him to him, or near him during this 'date'. Pinkie led Nate off in an excited trot towards the center of town. Nate felt a sudden sensation of anxiety as he let the pinkie pony lead him to the site that would play host to their date. Pinkie talked at a few million words per minute. She was going on and on about how much fun this date was going to how much Nate was going to enjoy the place she had picked for it... > 5. "You want to...what!?" > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Why is this called a 'hay-shake'?" Nate asked as he poked at the small lidded cup with one hoof. "Well, now as far as I know its made from hay. Although really I've never seen them use hay when they make it so it could be made out of chickens or dirt. Bleh! If it was made of dirt it would probably taste terrible! Wait? What if this is made out of dirt and its hay that tastes terrible!" Pinkie gasped poking her cup. "I'm sure it not made of dirt." Nate reassured as he took off the lid to give the beige liquid inside a sniff. It smelled like a wheat field flooded with milk. "I've had other shake items before. Most of them milk-shakes." "Wait? Milk shakes?" Pinkie asked. "Is that like a hay shake made out of only milk?" "Basically." Nate said with a shrug. Pinkie had led Nate through Ponyvile. She had decided to break out into a musical number while she bounced at his side. Nate only got some lines. Others were said quickly or sung away from him. He got most of it though. She had sung some high-pitched number about the joys of getting a wish fulfilled and how she was so happy that today was going to be an amazing day for her. By then end of the five minute song, Nate kinda wished these ponies had evolved without mouths, and he and Pinkie had arrived at a small out-door dinner sort of establishment. Their menu displayed the names of many hay-made items. Hay-wich, hay-cola, hay-shake, hay-dog, etc. Nate and Pinkie placed their orders. They had decided to share a hay-wich cut in half and two hay-shakes. They took their lunch to one of the many wooden rectangular tables and put their rumps down at one end across from each other. Nate had never eaten hay before so he had no idea what brutal torment or glorious heaven his taste buds were in for. He leaned in, and placed his lips on the straw. He gave it a hardy suck and go the slow liquid to go up the straw and into his mouth. It tasted sort of like bread dipped in milk. He wasn't disgusted, this gave Pinkie an inner relief. Nate took a few more slurps of his hay shake then decided it was a good time to take a bit of the hay-wich. Well, at least his half. He levitated it to his mouth, while Pinkie leaned in her head and picked hers up between her teeth. Within two bits large swallows Pinkie had fit her half into her mouth. A final swallow allowed her to send the sandwich to her stomach. "I'm not even going ask you how that happened." Nate stated as he stared at Pinkie. "What? You mean fit a whole sandwich in my mouth?" Pinkie asked. "Yeeeeaaahhhh." Nate responded. He took a quick bite from the hay-which without thinking about it. Then nearly choked as he got a triple taste of bread. Or at least the wheat taste that came from bread. "You......uhhhh.......want my half, dear?" "Oh you don't like it?" Pinkie said, her lips pouting. "No, no. I'm just...ah never mind...." Nate said as he took a giant bite out of the sandwich. He decided to eat it quickly and simply drink in the hay shake as follow up. He was able to finish the hay wich in four bites, then took a giant slurp of the hay-shake. Pinkie smiled. "Sooooo.............." Nate looked up from the shake and met Pinkie's eyes. "So?" "So.......ever been shot out a cannon?" Pinkie asked with a gentle smile. Nate's face contorted to match his feeling of confusion regarding the question. "Not that I can remember. I was on Earth once and I got shot at with cannons that a bunch of large humans in grey were aiming at me. I think that was in the year 1860 or so." Pinkie tilted her head 90 degrees to the right. "Humans? 1860?" "Never mind." Nate said smiling. He was then faced with a question. "Do we have cars here in Equestria?" "I dunno. Maybe. They could be invisible and no one notices them." Pinkie suggested. Nate laughed. "Darling, I don't think that's the case. I just have a funny story from my time on Earth." "Tell it!" Pinkie said nearly jumping off the ground. "Okay, okay!" Nate said calming her. He cleared his throat and then began. "So about thirty or so years ago I was working a job on Earth. I was working for a company called 'General Motors'. We built very nice cars that would be sold at dealerships to the general population. I got an idea to get a free car without paying the dealers, though. I had a large lunch box I brought every day. After lunch I would go to the supply room where we kept the car parts and grab something and stow it in my little lunch box. I didn't care if the parts were for the same car, I'd make 'em work when my plan was complete. I did this for a few years. Work, work, lunch, part swipe. I did this every day. If the part was too big for my lunch box: I'd simply take it out to my old junk car, all the way saying it was needed some where else if someone ever questioned me. When I had all parts I had to jury rig it all but when I finally finished, I drove it work one day and parked next to the CEO of the company. He looked at me and asked 'You built that?!' I said 'Eyup' and then he gave me fifty grand and the next day thousands of them were going off the assembly lines and being given to dealers." Nate finished. Pinkie looked confused. "Never mind. The jist of my story is: I made an amazing vehicle out of spare parts from others and it became one of the best things to ever be made on Earth." Nate said smugly with a large grin. "Ahhhhhh..." Pinkie said smiling at Nate as her head returned to its normal state. She put on an uncertain expression and she smiled at Nate and said "So...after this should go back to Sugar Cube Corner?" "And do what?" Nate asked. Pinkie's face became very determined and slightly smug. "Why don't I just show you..." ____________________________________ 25.6235412 minutes later. Nate screamed at the top of his lungs inside Pinkie Pie's bedroom. "You want to...what!?" > 6. Conscience > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nate stormed out of the bedroom, he was so much as furious as confused. Pinkie had wanted to do something with him that he'd only heard of humans doing. For all he knew up until 30 seconds ago, he could have guessed the ponies laid eggs or something along those lines. "Oh please, Nate! Come back!" Pinkie called from the bed room. "I didn't come here to bang ponies." Nate growled as he laid down on the couch. "I gave you, your date. Now I'm going to sleep." "Could I lay with you?" Pinkie asked as she came around the couch and stood over him. "No!" Nate called back harshly as he buried his head in the pillow Pinkie had used the night before. "You can have your bed back. I'm the guest. I'll sleep on the couch." He muffled out from his position on the couch. "Fine." Pinkie said as her mane deflated like a balloon. (And with a similar sound) She slowly walked off towards the bedroom and turned off the parlor light as she left. "Good night, N-nate." she sniffled. "F***" Nate said to himself as Pinkie closed the bed room door. "I hate having a conscience." He continued as he got off the couch and wrapped the pink blanket around him in a robe-like fashion "Motherbuckin' sensitive pony conscience...oh great now I'm using the pony swears!" He said to himself as he walked around the little 3-cushion couch brown leather couch to the bed room door on his right. He knocked on the wooden door three times. "Pinkie?" He heard light crying coming from beyond the door. She probably had her faced buried in a pillow to muffle the sobs, but it wasn't working. Nate could hear the sobs through the wood and felt even worse. He knocked three more times. "Pinkie, open the door." He said a bit more sternly. "C-c-coming." He heard her say. Nate heard the rustling as Pinkie got out of bed and came to the door. He heard the knob twist and then the door creaked open. Pinkies eyes were red and puffy, she had been crying. Nate sighed and said in his cheeriest voice. "I hope there's room on that bed for two." Before Pinkie could respond Nate took a stepped forward and locked lips with the Pink pony. He pushed her back towards the bed and kicked the door shut with one of his rear hooves. ______________________________ Nate's mouth was dry. As he inhaled his throat burnt against the cold indoor air. He closed his mouth and went to breathing through his nose. He was on his back, trying to continue sleeping, when he felt a large body roll onto him. He opened his eyes to see a puffy pink mane resting on his chest. "Apparently I did come here to bang ponies." He whispered as the dawn sun came up over the east through a window on his right. Nate gave Pinkie a nudge as he tried to get her off him with out disturbing her slumber. She rolled off sluggishly and on to her own back. As Nate got out of bed he noticed she wasn't cover up at all in the pink blanket. Before leaving her to continue sleeping, Nate walked around the bed to the side Pinkie had rolled off to, towards the window with the eastern sun in it. Nate levitated the soft pink blanket over Pinkie and laid it up to her neck. She smiled in her sleep and rolled onto her left side. Nate left the room with a smile on his face. He summoned a little plate with some waffles for himself and a fork. Then sat at Pinkie's kitchen counter and enjoyed them in peace, with only the thought of Pinkie's smiling sleepy face on his mind. That sight brought him some for of satisfaction, it made him feel...happy. Very happy. ________________________________ 1.5 hours later. Pinkie had finally emerged from the bedroom about an hour an half after Nate had. She came out as her normal safe, just still a bit sleepy-eyed, but she was her usual happy self. Nate had figured she would wake up about twenty minutes before she would actually wake up, so in preparation for this wake up he had raided her refrigerator and begun making a breakfast that would have been a breakfast in bed had Pinkie not awoken earlier than his initial prediction. When the bed room door opened, Nate looked up from his sizzling creation on the stove. "Ah, you're up! A bit earlier than I would like, I might add." Pinkie rubbed her eyes with her hooves and then asked. "Why? Are you cooking something for me?" "No, I'm cooking something for the other pink pony that I bucked last night, duh!" Nate joked with a light cackle afterwards. "I'm making something called a 'pancake'. I wasn't sure if they had these here in Equestria, but you had all the ingredients and maple-syrup in this here refrigerator." Nate said with a smile and light kicking of his rear hoof on the stainless steel appliance. "Aww...thanks, silly-bean." Pinkie said as she rounded the counter and came up beside the demi-god. She gave him a light kiss on the cheek and leaned her head against his. "So.....about last night..." Nate began, only to be cut off by Pinkie. "That was super-duper amazing! I can't thank you enough!" Pinkie squealed as she wrapped her hooves around him and held him tightly. Nate was going to tell her that he had enjoyed last night but that it was a one-night stand and thats all. However, Pinkie's affectionate gestures made him hold his tongue. "Yeah, I enjoyed last night as well." Nate said as he turned his head and gave Pinkie's cheek a kiss for once. "Now I suppose if asked you're ever asked the weirdest thing you've even done you can say a multidimensional god." Nate said with a chuckle at the end. > 7. Three words. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "AHHHHHHH!" Nate screamed in blood-churning horror. In the bedroom where Pinkie was making her bed, it sounded as if Nate was having his intestines ripped out while his skull was being cracked with a tea spoon. She dropped the pink-silky sheet on her bed and galloped out into the main room. She looked to kitchen and then heard another blood-chilling scream from her left towards the couch. She spotted Nate, he had his back to her and turned around to look at her. He was holding his nose up and screaming "Get it off! Get it off!". Pinkie laughed as she saw the little green alligator gripped tightly on his nose. She dropped down onto the floor and rolled onto her back laughing. "Not funny!" Nate shouted in a nasally voice as the tooth-less alligator gummed his nose. "Don't worry, silly god, that's just Gummy! He gums me all the time, silly!" Pinkie said from her position on the blue carpet. Gummy released Nate's nose and walked over to Pinkie, biting into her mane and now not letting go of her. Nate felt his nose with his hooves. When he was satisfied that his muzzle was intact he looked at Pinkie as she stood up with Gummy attempting to bite her mane and holding on with his biting strength. "Little bugger scared me!" Nate said pointing at Gummy. "The big bad god scared by a little alligator?" Pinkie teased pointing at Gummy with one hoof. She giggled and then full out laughed. "Well even gods can be scared by little things. For example: one time a few years back I fell into a black hole and got so frightened, because if light can't escape those suckers what chance have I got!? I ended up digging through the fabric of space with a shovel into my sister's dimension and turning up as radiation being spit out of a black hole." As Nate told the story he took noticed of Pinkie's attentive stare. Gummy let go at the part of the story involving the shovel. Then quickly scurried off to the bathroom. Nate smiled at Pinkie's attentive stare. "How did you break the fabric of space with a shovel?" She asked. "I didn't 'break' it. I dug through it." Nate clarified. "You can do it with any shovel really. Just you need to be inside of a black hole. The pressure of gravity inside those things causes space to become about like dirt." "Cool!" Pinkie said clapping her fore hooves together in excitement. Nate smiled at her enthusiasm and leaned forward to kiss her. Pinkie leaned in as well and their lips met midway through both of their leans. Nate closed his eyes as he kissed the pony, but opened them and saw a very wide-eyed Pinkie. Pinkie broke away from him and asked. "Why do you close your eyes when we kiss?" "I dunno. From my travels on Earth I found out it was sorta standard practice." Nate said rubbing the back of his neck with one hoof. _________________________________ A few minutes later, Pinkie and Nate received a letter from Princess Celestia. The mail mare was a little off and gave them a few packages that were not theirs before she actually them the letter. Nate spawned a muffin as a reward and sent her off. Then he read it silently while Pinkie looked over his shoulder. Dear, Nate. I would like for you to come meet me in Canterlot. I've a matter on my hooves I wish for you to assist me with. It is a matter of the utmost importance. Twilight will be coming, Pinkie can come as well. I can send for a carriage to pick you up or you can board a train at your own convenience, just please be at Canterlot in at least three days. Sincerely -Princess Celestia. Nate held the letter in front of him and as he finished reading it his brow scrunched at the term "three days". "She's giving me three days to get to Canterlot?" Nate stated. He took a step out of of Sugar Cube corner and look up at Canterlot. "I could get there in about 12 hours or so." Pinkie looked at him with a look of concern and confusion. "How?" Nate's horn pulled a picture out of his mane. Then held it before Pinkie's muzzle so she could see it. He grinned a sly grin as she examined the photograph. "What is that?" She asked as she looked at the strange photo. "And what are those ugly things in the background?" "Two words. Buick. Super." Nate whispered in her ear. "Oh and a third bonus word: Humans." This was the photo... The photo burst into the flames and the ashes flew away and into a dirt road clearing in front of Sugar cube corner. They began to form four different piles in a spread out rectangular formation. Soon the piles condensed and raised up, forming flat circles. Then a large rectangular body formed and the ashes went up from there forming the body of the car. Within two minutes the large General Motors car was formed and ready to be driven. The car was a very large outlandish machine from the perspective of the ponies that passed it by on the road. With its smooth metal and chrome and classy jet-black paint job it could have been a robotic grim reaper for all they knew. The inside was a visible from the outside through its barely tinted windows. The inside had stainless steel buttons and knobs and a brown-painted radio with black knobs and switches. The steering wheel was painted in many shades brown to look like old wood. "Nate?" Pinkie called out as he walked towards the car. "Yeah, dear?" He called back turning his head to look at her. She smiled at him. "Can I use it?" "Are you asking me if you can drive?" "Of course" > 8. Driving Lesson. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "You're a pony without a license or any sort of driving experience. Why in Equestria or on Earth would I let you drive, this very nice car?" Nate asked gesturing towards the Buick Super. "It would be fun, wouldn't it?" Pinkie said with a shrug and a smile. "Fine. Let's get in and I'll teach you to drive." Nate said. "Hmm... I just thought of something that could be fun." "Tell me! Is it a volleyball game? With cakes?" Pinkie squealed as she clapped her hooves. "No, nothing like that. If we pack some picnic supplies we could stop around mid-day and have a nice little picnic. That could be fun." Nate said with kind-smile. "*Gasp* That would be better!" Pinkie screeched. "I'll go get some picnic stuff!" She said hopping and spinning in mid air to go back into the building. "Pinkie!" Nate called as she almost fully went through the doorway. She turned her head as far back as it would go to look at him. "Yeah!?" She called back as Nate stood by the car. "Ahem. The in-exile god took care of that already." Nate said gesturing towards the trunk of the car. "I loaded the car the moment I had the picnic idea because the likelihood of you saying no to it was about 0.00005%." Nate said with a smile. He levitated a small key chain with one key on it to Pinkie. "Take this. It starts the bloody things." Pinkie nearly broke out in song but settled for a school girl squeal and took the key between her teeth and galloped to the car as Nate opened the passenger for himself and the driver door for Pinkie with his magical aura. "Now this thing was made for a human so I made this once a bit strangely. Longer pedals" Nate said pointing to the large metal pedals coming from the floor board and practically up to the seat on the driver side. "How do I operate those?" Pinkie asked as she climbed up in the car and sat on her rump. "Oh wait I see, I just kinda have to sit oddly and I press 'em with my little hooves." She looked at the steering wheel. "What's this thing?" "Steering wheel. You twist it around it controls which direction the car is going. The pedals down there are your acceleration and brakes. Left stops the car. Right makes it go depending on how far in you press it in towards the floor. Then Nate pointed Pinkie towards the transmission between their two seats. "These are your gears. You shift them by pushing this little lever forward and backwards. It snaps into place and that lets you know your in a certain gear. Top two are drive and reverse. Then its gears 1 to 3 and then we have the parking brake for making sure the car stays where you leave it. You can see this little list of them next to the lever. Everything from 'd' for drive to 'p' for park. Well then. I suppose we'd better take her for a spin. Let's try not to run anyone over, okay? So, we'll just do a light, tap on the right pedal." Nate said as he took the key and inserted it in the ignition. He gave it a twist and the motor hummed to life. "You can tell your speed from the gauges here beyond the steering. You only need to pay attention to the one marked "Speedometer" the others won't change. On a normal car they would, but this is car meant to be driven by a god not a man. The higher that speed one goes means the faster we're going. This car would probably only be able to hit 120 if it were designed to, but we should peak out at 80 or 90 if you slam the pedal down." "Can I press in on the right pedal, now?" Pinkie asked politely. "Do it lightly and hold it down at the position when you press it in so we continue going at the speed. We can get a bit faster when we leave Ponyvile." Nate said. Pinkie shifted so her rear hooves rested against the pedals. She had to lean back so her head was against the back head-bit of the seat and her fore-hooves had to extend fully to operate the steering wheel. The street in front of Sugar Cube Corner was reality clear except for ponies walking to and from shops around it. Nate noticed a lot of them staring over at the car and giving it a scratch of their heads. He wondered if they were wondering why it was there or why Pinkie was behind the helm. Nate leaned over and put his left hoof on the middle of the steering wheel. "Horn." He said then pressing it in and generating a loud roar from beneath the hood. Nate rolled down his window and shouted out at the pedestrians. "This is 3,262 pounds of metal, get outta it's way!" He rolled up the window as the ponies cleared out of the middle of the street. Pinkie pressed in on the pedal. Probably a tad harder than she should have. Before she could have looked down at the speedometer she and Nate were traveling through Ponyvile at 60 miles per hour. Nate was panicking and shouting for her to slow down as he mashed down on the horn. "Pinkie slow it down!" He shouted as he honked the horn with one hoof and held himself steady on the dash board with the other. "Ah!" Pinkie shouted back as she plowed down the dirt road making many ponies dive for cover. She swerved left before hitting a hay-shack and continued down another road heading right for Twilight's library. As the two of them rocketed towards the library she swerved right and the front of her car went through a small kiosk belonging to young filly selling lemonade. Luckily the little mare had dived for cover instead of remaining with the kiosk. As wood broke beneath the force of 60 mile per hour metal and lemonade splattered over the windshield. Pinkie continued bellowing down the road, she had forgotten which pedal or switch was the brakes and simply tried to avoid hitting any pony. As the car rocketed towards a bridge at the end of a dirt road many ponies had ducked for cover long before the car even came close to them. The bridge curved upwards and acted like a ramp as the car hit it. Nate felt his body float off the seat for a few seconds as the Buick Super caught a amount of air beneath its wheels. As their vehicle peaked at about sixty or so feet in the air and arched down. Nate caught sight of the ground as they fell towards it. The car was able to land on all fours and come to a complete stop since Pinkie had lost her hold on the pedals. Nate took a few deep breaths as his million-beat-per-minute heart slowed down to it's normal pace. "I...think it would be best if I drive." > 9. Cheery Romance. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Aside from a few cuts and scratches on the car's paint, the couple composed of a demoted god and an eccentric pink pony were able to continue with out any difficulty. Now however, after the many near hit and runs by Pinkie, Nate took the wheel. A few miles away from Ponyvile now and traveling at a safe 40 miles per hour. Nate looked down at the radio from his seat at the wheel. "I wonder if Equestria has any radio station..." He turned the dial with his magical aura until he located a voice through the static. "....and now back to that smashing song our listeners love: Mr. Sandman. By the Chordettes!" "What the?" Nate said as the 60 year old song began to play. He looked over at Pinkie who had decided to take a nap. She seemed to be dancing along in her sleep. "Huh. I'll be damned. Old car. Old radio station. I suppose that makes sense." Nate didn't even bother to think of a possible answer for why he was able to pick up a 60 year old radio station from Earth while on Equestria and instead just sung along a bit as he drove up curving roads and hills. Most of his driving was guess work, since the only real ways to and from Canterlot appeared to be a train or wings. He didn't have nor wanted either. He was taking random dirt paths and mentally making a map of it so he could draw it later and have in case if he ever needed to make this journey again. This may seem like a lot of work, but when you have a 5 digit IQ and eidetic memory. It's actually pretty easy. A few more minutes into the drive "Mr. Sandman" ended and was replaced with a song about China men giving up their restaurant and how there would be no more chow mein. Nate had never really cared for Chinese food and from his time on Earth had actually found he preferred pizza. Steeper hills and light morning frost made Nate aware of his distance from Canterlot. "Can't be far now. Let's see if we can find a nice spot for a picnic." A few minutes later as the radio began to play "That's Amore" he had found a nice some-what flattened area with a few tall trees and a good span of grass. He parked beneath a large oak tree and put the car in park. He turned on his seat and put a hoof on Pinkie. Giving her a light shake, she awoke after a few second. Blinking away her sleep and looking about expecting to see Canterlot she asked. "What happened to Canterlot?" She said rubbing her eyes and taking her head off the passenger door window. "We're not there yet. I told you it would be fun to have a picnic so here we are." Nate said as he opened his door. "Come on. Its about eleven in the morning. I'm a tad hungry." Nate stepped out of the car and stretched his legs as magically controlled picnic supplies floated from the now open trunk and onto a nice spot right in the shade beneath the taller of the Oak trees. It was the stereotypical items. Wicker basket, plaid blanket, and something not so stereotypical a wine bottle and glasses. The blanket was flattened out, and napkins came out of the wicker basket. Two of them un-folded and revealed hay-wiches. The others stayed folded up tightly so they could be unfolded for self-cleaning. The wine took its place on a very flat nearby rock that protruded from the grass. The wine glasses sat there next it on either side. As Pinkie got from the car. She smiled as Nate sat down on the plaid blanket and gestured for her to sit across from him on the other side of the hay-wiches. She happily trotted over and sat laid down on her belly and gave Nate a "Come hither" gaze. Nate didn't catch it at first because he was pre-occupied with pouring wine. As he sipped on his glass he looked at Pinkie and nearly choked on it as he caught her gaze. "Are *cough* are you okay?" "Of course, silly." Pinkie said in a seductive whisper. "I'm trying to seduce you, silly bean." "Oh...ohhhhhhh!" Nate exclaimed. He panicked slightly then leaned across the hay-wiches and kissed Pinkie's lips. He felt a sugary tasting tongue enter his mouth. He felt one of Pinkie's fore hooves wrap around the back of his head and pull him closer. Driving her tongue deeper. A song came from the radio in the car. It was quite a cheery little tune that Pinkie found quite alluring. She stood up and began to dance. "Come on, silly bean! Dance with me!" She called out to Nate as she danced closer to the car. Nate got up. "Alright, but the last time I danced, I was human." He and Pinkie started dancing separately but eventually got up on their rear hooves and danced sorta like humans in a romantic fashion. Sharing laughs as Nate tried to replicate a human dancing style Pinkie, whispering in her ear what he was going to do. He dipped her from time to time, taking her off her rear hooves and having to use a bit of magic to keep her from tumbling to the dirt since hooves couldn't quite grip very well. Nate gave Pinkie a few twirls and even at one point was able to pick her up in a bear hug-like fashion. As they reached the mid point of the song, both had worked up a bit of a sweat but didn't notice since they were just having a blast dancing like fools with each other. Pinkie laughed with the silly god as they danced in cheery romance to "Rock around the clock" > 10. Stolen things... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- When Nate and Pinkie caught sight of the Castle gates. Nate put his hoof down as hard as he could on the accelerator and took the last mile of steep road at 80 miles per hour. He honked the horn in continuum to alert the Canterlot citizen of his presence. Guards and well dressed citizens came galloping out to see what the noise was. The gates to the gleaming white Castle and buildings was wide open. Ten minutes until three o' clock in the afternoon, Nate got onto a flatter area soaring fast at 100 miles per hour into the city. He slammed on the brakes and skidded to a stop, scooping and flinging dirt with his tires. With the car at a complete stop, Royal Guards surrounded the car. Nate opened his door and stepped out. "Sorry about that lads and lasses. I like making an entrance." He said with a sly grin. "Now. Take me to your leader." They exchanged suspicious glances. Having never seen Nate before they were unsure of what to make of him, his black metal monster and his pink side-kick, who had just stepped out of the car. Suddenly, a shadow of a flying being appeared near the car. Nate looked up and was able to make out the shape of alicorn through the glaring afternoon summer sun. As the being landed, Nate was able to get a clear view of the being. It was a bit smaller than Celestia. A dark bluish-purple with large wings and a horn longer than most. Nate had guessed from the volume of the body and its muscles it was a female, so in this case: she wore a look of constant determination. "Stand down." She ordered the guards. "This stallion and his pink companion were invited by 'Tia." She said meeting eyes with Nate. "Your early. Twilight Sparkle hasn't even arrived." She said with a smile. "I like it when a stallion knows to never leave a mare waiting for too long..." the alicorn said with seductive under-tones in her voice. Pinkie rushed to Nate's side. "Hooves off, Luna!" She exclaimed wrapping a hoof around Nate. Luna seemed disappointed after that. "Fine. Follow me." As Nate and Pinkie followed Luna through the streets, Nate looked back at the car and saw the doors all lock in unison following his mental command. The keys flew fast from the car and hid away in Pinkie's puffy mane, without the pink mare even noticing. Nate and Pinkie stayed close to one another. Walking through the streets Nate saw a few posters pasted on walls with free space and a few banners announcing the fact that some event was closing in. "What is a 'Grand Galloping Gala'?" Nate asked looking to Luna. "A yearly gala. Quite a fun event. Dancing, food, the general celebratory items. I think 'Tia said something about having problems though. Maybe you could help us out with that if you have the time. However there is a bigger issue though. I'll let my sister explain that one to you." Luna said as she walked a few feet in front of Nate and Pinkie. "Huh. We'll see." Nate said. ___________________________ Luna guided the duo through the street and into the crystal clean castle. Going and up many flights of marble stairs to a tower where Celestia's room/office was. Her office was on the top floor located at the end of long hallway with many portraits of Celestia, Luna, etc. Luna guided Nate to two large sturdy wooden doors. She opened the one to the right and allowed Nate to walk in but stopped Pinkie Pie with an extended hoof blocking the doorway. "Sorry, Pinkie. Your going to have to wait out side with me." Nate looked back at Pinkie past Luna's hoof. "It'll be okay dear." Nate said as he closed the door with a gentle smile. He looked around in the well furbished office room. It was very square in structure. Bookshelves lined the larger 5meter tall walls, a desk with many pens and random papers and packets scattered across it was against the wall opposite to the doors. Nate looked to his right and saw a single mahogany door. That door opened and the larger of the Princess stepped through in full outfit. Golden crow and all. "Good day, Nate." She greeted in a polite, calm tone of voice with a nod towards the demi-god. "Good day, Princess Celestia. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked returning the nod. "Theres been a small discovery. You see...Twilight Sparkle and her friends use their friendship as a defensive weapon when ever the need arises. However a catch to this is if one of them loses the item that allows them to do so...we lose a defensive capability." Princess Celestia explained growing grimmer by the word. "May I assume you called me here because you lost one of these weapon components?" Nate asked trying to simply cut-to-the-chase. "Not one. All of them. Except for Twilight's. I kept them locked away in my bed room at the time. Somepony was able to stealthy make their way into my bed room and steal them from a place I only told Luna of. Since you're an outside source no pony besides, Pinkie, Twilight, Luna, and I have ever heard of, I concluded that you would be best to lead the investigation. Sadly on your own. If I gave you Royal resources we might scare off whom ever stole them." Celestia stated as she looked at Nate with a glimpse of hope in her voice. "Alright. I'll do it. I'll need a description of the weapon components taken and any suspicious personal since the theft." Nate said. Celestia though for second on the matter. "Well...the components are called the 'Elements of Harmony'. They are small golden amulets of sorts, each one of definitive shape and color. The only suspicious activity I can think of is that of Princess Cadence and Shining Armor. Princess Cadence is a large pink alicorn, Shining Armor is her husband and Twilight's sister." "Alright. I'll go talk to them. See if I can't dig up anything. If they turn up cold I'll go and look else where for leads." Nate said very confidently. "In my sister's universe I was on a vacation and took up a position as a private detective in the 1940's. I loved it and caught a lot of perps." > 11. "Name." > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nate left the office with a smile and found Pinkie in the hallway talking about odd recipes for cup cakes. Twilight Sparkle had just come up the stairs and was walking towards them from the end of the hall as Nate came out of Celestia's office. "What the?" Twilight said to herself. "How did you get here so quickly?" she asked Nate as the two of them came within talking distance. "We drove." Nate said as he stopped next to Pinkie Pie and wrapped a hoof around her. Pinkie turned her head and met eyes with Nate. The two of them brought their head together and kissed, deeply. Twilight's jaw dropped like a cinderblock off a tower on a planet twice the size of Equestria. After the two of them stopped kissing, she and Luna simply stared at the happy couple. "Ummm.....Pinkie Pie.......can you, the Princess, and I talk in Princess Celestia's office?" Twilight asked walking towards the double doors and pulling her away from Nate. Pinkie showed some reluctance to the idea and tried to stay with Nate, but he encouraged her. "Go ahead. I've got some work to do." He said waving Pinkie on. "Meet me in an hour, in the uhhhh.....is there a dining room where I can some coffee or something?" "Yes. Down stairs. Just walk east through the hallways near the entrance and you'll find two very large glass doors." Luna said as she took the two mares towards Celestia's office. "Okay. Meet me there Pinkie!" Nate said as he walked towards the stairs. He smiled at Pinkie and started going down the stairs. Pinkie, Twilight Sparkle, and Princess Luna entered the office and shut the door tight behind them. Celestia was at her desk scribbling away at papers with one pen while she read another. "Hmm?" Celestia said from her desk as she noticed the visitors and her sister. "Is there something we need to discuss, sister?" she laid then pen and papers down and turned to fully see them. "We just needed a place to have a private discussion with Pinkie Pie. She and that 'Nate' are an item." Luna said. Celestia raised and eye brow and smiled. "Is there something wrong with that? He is an adult...I assume......yes he's probably billions of years older than Pinkie, but as a citizen of Equestria she is entitled to the freedom that allows her to date whomever she wishes." "But he's a God! He can create and destroy things with a simple gesture or thought. If Pinkie were to..." Twilight began but Celestia cut her off. "He's not a baby with a death ray. He's an ancient being with eons of learning and memories." Celestia said in Nate's defense. "He's in exile! He's proven himself incapable of proper judgement in some way to deserve being sentenced here." Lune stated. "If Pinkie and Nate ever fought one another we could be looking at some sort of dooms day." All the while during this argument Pinkie just sat and listened. While she listened she realized, they were arguing over whether she should be allowed to date Nate. When this thought went through her mind, she broke out into tears. The argument stopped before it could get out of hand. As Pinkie cried and left the room in a hurry. "Oh no! Pinkie!" Twilight called down the hall as Pinkie Pie galloped away. _____________________________________ Nate found out from one of the guards that Cadence and Shining Armor currently had a room in Canterlot while they were enjoying a brief stay. It was in the shortest tower, second to top floor. Nate found it was the first door on the left once he had climbed sever flights of stairs. He stood at the door and gave it a knock. "Coming!" A feminine voice called. Nate gently hummed to himself as he waited. He heard the door unlock and saw it as it creaked open. On the other side of the door was a pink Alicorn with her mane in a tight tail behind her head. "Hi, I'm Nate. Do you mind me asking you a few questions?" This alicorn grew a tad cautious. Nate could feel her caution. Part of being a god is being able to read thoughts and feel emotions. He didn't like doing so, but he could easily at just about anything. The only reason he refrains from using this ability is it is the greatest breach of privacy one can have. However, he wanted to be absolutely sure during this little investigation. "I'm Princess Cadence. You may ask me anything." She said leaning against the door. "Have you noticed anything unusual lately?" Nate asked shifting on his hooves. "Not besides the coffee tasting awful." Cadence said with a tone-less voice. Nate found it, she had just lied. "Don't skimp on anything, darling. I've got a pretty good sense for lies and you're settin' off a red flag or two." Nate said his eyes narrowing slightly. He sent signals to Cadence's mind, thoughts like 'Just tell him! He probably know!'. "Stop trying to put thoughts in my mind." Cadence growled. "I don't know what you want from me, but I'm not going to say anything to you." "Then you do have something that interests me. Tell me, now." Nate growled back in response. His eyes narrowing even further. His mental barrage continued, now he wasn't playing as subtle as a thought here and there. He was trying to gain full access. Cadence stumbled back as Nate pressed on. Her face became ashen, her eyes uncertain. "I-I...." "Tell. Me." Nate commanded as he began to take control of her mind. "I-I.....my....name......I forgot my name! Who am..........." She mumbled as she tried to balance herself on the door. Nate took a step forward and put a hoof under her chin and lifted her face to keep her at eye-level with him. "Tell me everything you know or else I keep your name." "Okay....please.....just tell me my n-name." Cadence begged growing weaker as Nate sunk his mental claws into her memories. "Fine, Cadence." "Th-thank you. I-I saw a shadowy figure a few nights ago....when I was on a walk through the castle. Came from Celestia room....galloped faster than I could. Looked like a light blue pony......didn't have time to get a good look, though." Cadence said weakly. "Good. Now go get some rest and forget I even came her." Nate said as he wiped the memory of this little chat from her mind. Nate closed the door and smiled as he walked down the hall. Nate never liked going dark on anyone like he had, but when it comes to weapons you never really want to joke around. > 12. Lunar Squish. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nate waited at one end of the dark maroon brown/red table in the Royal Dining room. There was a sort of waiter, waitress system in place to take the order of anyone in there. He had been able to get coffee, a grilled cheese sandwich, and was offered a mint. He hoped Pinkie remembered their agreement to meet here. Some diners who would be working the night court started coming in for their technical breakfast. Nate folded up one of his napkins into a little paper-pony and sat it on the empty plate next to his. Whenever somepony would ask about it he would say he was saving the seat. While he waited for Pinkie he looked out for potential suspects. A light blue pony. Cadence hadn't defined gender so it was open season on any light-blue pony. Thus far, he had spotted nine of them. Wonderful, he thought. More work for me. He sipped a coffee and kept an eye out for Pinkie as well as light blue ponies. Four more light blue ponies came in before Pinkie arrived on the scene. She appeared distressed. She rushed over to Nate and whispered. "I want to go." Nate raised an eyebrow. "We can't I've got a bit of work on my plate." "I want to leave." Pinkie repeated in a near growl. Nate didn't take kindly to being growled at. "If you want to leave. Get on a train and go, and watch your tone around me. I like and respect you with my young heart but if you use that tone with me ever again I might snap and take your mouth away from you." Pinkie stormed off and left Nate to his meal. He sighed then caused a letter to appear wherever Pinkie's close friend Applejack was. The words formed as he thought of them. Dear Applejack Pinkie Pie is returning to Ponyvile. Something is on her mind. She will appear before you when you finish reading this message. Beware, she seemed highly upset. Over what? I didn't catch that. I'm sorry to put this on you, you're the only one of Pinkie's friend, still in Ponyvile, whose names I either forgot or wasn't told. Your un-met friend. -Nate He sent it off then gave the message a minute or two and telepathically caused Pinkie to teleport exactly one meter from the letter. "Sent here on punishment; decides to solve petty problems. Isn't life grand?" Nate muttered to himself as he sipped coffee. "If that Princess would ask I'd gladly give them a star ship and show them how to use it. Then again...it probably wouldn't end well if I introduced tech from the 24th century to a nation that appears to be stuck in either the early 20th or late 19th. I wonder what a pony would do if I gave one a laser." He mumbled with a chuckle. Nate caught movement of a purple-blue figure moving to his left where Pinkie would have sat. He looked away from his meal and met eyes with Princess Luna. "Oh hi." Nate greeted with a light smile. "Good day." Luna greeted. "May we..I mean I join you or is Pinkie about?" "She seemed aggravated and has returned to Ponyvile." Nate stated dully. "Really? Did she take your interesting mode of transport?" Luna asked as she waved over one of the waitresses that serviced the staff and royalty. "The car? No. If I allowed for her to drive my car, she would surely exterminate the population of Equestria in a matter of days." Nate joked as he looked down at his coffee. Luna gave a light laugh at the statement. "Are you certain of that? Well then please never let her drive that...thing." Luna giggled. "Is there anything in specific you wished to discuss with me or is this just some sort of social inquiry to learn of me?" Nate asked as he finished the coffee. "It's more or less a personal inquiry. Learning about the handsome god that I first saw arrive on a mechanical carriage. You seem to be quite interesting, and I simply wish to learn more." Luna said interrogatively. "So....ummm....do or have you ever drank? As in alcoholic beverages, that is." "Mostly in human form. I'm not sure if this pony body can handle it's fluids all to well. I've urinated about twelve times since my arrival on Equestria." Nate said. "Wonderful. So you'll have a 'Lunar squish' on the rocks?" Luna said as she called over the waitress near by. She placed an order for two 'Luna squishes'. "Luna squish?" Nate repeated. "Something I've taught the brewers to make." Luna said. "I made it after one night of scotch." "Really? Well the best drinks are made after a night of drinking." Nate said as a waitress set down a dark blue liquid set inside of a wine glass. Nate lifted it with a magical aura and brought it to his lips. It was tangy and very sweet, he tasted a light blue-berry. "Hmm.....pretty good." He was immedaitly kicked in the head by the drink. "Well.....theeeeeeennnnnn......that.....is.......strong." Luna smiled broadly at him. "It is a very strong concoction." She said as she herself sipped and winched from it. Nate took a deep breath, then downed the entire wine-glass of Lunar-Squish in one go. He fell backwards onto his back and laughed aloud. "WHOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA! That is good!" "Impressive." Luna complimented as she sipped her drink. "Waitress!" She called. "Bring me a bottle of my Lunar Squish!" > 13- What happens when Gods get drunk... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next day started somewhat slowly for Nate. He became groggy as he dry mouth inhaled and exhaled. His throat was burning. He felt the sun glaring into his eye lids, heat had heated up his skin and nearly melted his skin to whatever fabric he was on. He opened his eyes and found himself looking at a light source surrounded by a metal. He shielded his eyes with his right hoof and looked around as his eyes adjusted to the light. He was in a metal room with many wooden shelves and a large desk with paper on it. The papers were oddly created though, they had their corners cut off, probably at manufacture. Nate got off the little cot he was on and noticed it was composed of green fabrics and was suspended and slightly imbedded into the wall. Nate stretched his limbs and heard his bones crackle. He walked to a small door way in the metal room and saw more book shelves and furniture in a much bigger room. The room was divided by a wall with a double wide door way with an arch to increase it decorative state. The dark gray metal of the room was unusual for Equestria. The room reminded Nate of a human battleship interior. Possibly the captain's quarters. It was far too sizable and well lenient with its furniture to be a crew quarters. As he walked towards what looked like and exit door it opened while he was in the middle of the arch. A large human stepped through, it was of the gender: male. He wore all gray and had many medals pinned to his gray jump-suit outfit. "Who are you?" Nate asked. "I should ask the same." The fellow said. He was a vaguely hispanic/white man with dark but graying hair and a small glasses that hang off the nose. "How did you get on my Battlestar?" "Your what?" Nate asked. "Is this rust bucket on Equestria?" He asked stomping the metal floor and cocking his head 45 degrees to the right. "Maybe we should....take a walk.....let me call a few friends." The man said walking to a wall mounted phone-like device. "Not necessary." Nate said. "I'm in the wrong universe I suspect." Nate said as his left eye began to twitch. "Bye." Nate blinked and was gone. "What the frack is going on?" The man asked himself, fully annoyed at the disturbance. ________________________________ When Nate's eyes once again opened he was laying on his back in a bed. The noon sun was shining brightly into his right eye from an open window to his right. He reached a hoof to his forehead and rubbed it with his right hoof. Even with that short spat of existence in that 'Battlestar' he still had a hang over, nonetheless. He hummed an annoyed tune to himself as he wondered how he made it back to Ponyvile. Then quickly realized he wasn't in Ponyvile. You may be asking 'Well, Mr. Author person or pony. What would lead him to this realization?". Nate realized he was not in Pinkie's bed at Ponyvile when he looked down at the covers that were up to his chest. They were a shade of violet, and had many little white half moons. He looked to his left and saw the Princess of the Moon laying on her stomach with her hooves at her sides and her bed buried in a pillow. Nate became wide eyed. Then he took a deep breath, hie left eye twitched, he blinked. ________________________________ When his eyes opened: he was in Ponyvile. Standing outside Pinkie's bed room, he continued to rub his head as he looked up at a wall clock above the door way. It read to Nate that the current time was eight in the morning, on the dot. Nate opened the door and saw Pinkie laying in bed still fast asleep. His left eye twitched again and the car he had driven to Canterlot was now outside. Whatever he had done with Luna, he didn't want Pinkie to find out. He walked to the bed and leaned his head down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then signed to himself as he moved his head back. Gods are not suppose to lie or keep secrets, that is a luxury for mortals. When Gods lie there can be.....repercussions. Lying for a God is like taking a drug, sure it serves the purpose but there will more than likely be side-effects. Nate was unsure of what would happen to him, technically he was a demi-god, not many demi-gods exist so there is little evidence to show that if they are or are not effected by lies. The last time a God lied, Nate heard that the God had grown two heads, one of which shouted mean things and the current status of political events of random nations on Earth. Nate hoped that wouldn't happen to him and simply trotted off out of the room. Leaving a note for Pinkie stuck to the door. He had been forced to form a sticky note since there was a lack of paper and tape in Pinkie's home. The note said that he had returned to Ponyvile to contemplate the job he had accepted. He then had a letter form before Princess Celestia asking her to send a roster and a description of every-pony on staff at the castle for him to review. A few minutes after he want to the kitchen to begin making some pancakes for himself. He had to make them from scratch since apparently Ponies had never made them before. As he began making the pancakes, a letter popped up before him like some sort of deranged pop-up ad. It was wrapped tightly in a little scroll with a seal that was a black with a white half moon on it. It was from Luna.... He broke the little paper seal and un-rolled it. Then silently read it. Dear Nate. I was surprised this morning to find that you were gone. I asked the guards and they said you never left the room. If I embarrassed you at all, I'm so sorry. I don't remember much of anything up except for the passion we shared in the bed room. By the way, for some pony who only recently became a pony, you are quite good in bed. Please do write back. The Princess of your moon. -Luna Nate gulped as he made the letter burst into flames and disappear forever. He sent a letter back to Luna in a nano-second. Dear Princess Luna I am who is sorry. I am sorry to have surprised you. I left in the blink of an eye so its not any surprise that your guards didn't see me. I don't remember anything, you are lucky to remember even a fraction of last night. Those 'Luna Squish' drinks were very strong, my head feels like it's been turned into a bomb testing range. You may not know what that is, but that's not important. I wrote back. Your friend. -Nate. > 14. Questions. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nate kissed Pinkie with as much passion as he could muster. Then when she was throughly surprised he broke off the kiss and hugged her tightly.. "I'm sorry about yesterday." He whispered into her ear then lightly nibbled on her ear, playfully. "No, no. I'm sorry. I was....upset. The Princesses and Twilight don't want us together. They think I'll upset you and you'll clap your hooves and make Equestria disappear." Pinkie said groggily as she hugged Nate and lightly kissed his cheek. Nate hugged her tighter and whispered. "I would never obliterate the only successful intelligent life in my universe over some petty squabble with a sexual partner. If anything I'd reverse time and try again. Well actually that would be if I was in my full god status. They took away my time altering abilities as part of the exile. I suppose I'll just have to make sure that never happens." "Hmmmm....so................wanna go out today!?" Pinkie said growing very excited very fast. "Out? Where?" Nate asked as he released Pinkie from his hug. "Just...ya know.....out. Another date, I guess, silly!" She said playfully leaning in close and licking his cheek. "Alright. Yes. Another date it is!" Nate said as he tried to lead Pinkie out. "Wait...." Pinkie said. "Come with me..." She whispered slyly as she gently guided him back into the bed room. _______________________________________ Nate straightened his mane as much as he could while looking into the bathroom mirror. He looked to his right at Pinkie who was still laying on her stomach just looking over and smiling at him while he worked on his mane. "That was delightful." Nate said with a smile. "What was that thing you did with your tail?" "That's a secret for me to know, silly-bean." She said slyly winking at Nate from the pink bed. Nate smiled and nodded. "Alrighty." He finished smoothing out his mane. "That should do it. Are you going to do anything with your mane? That puffy look is good on you but I'm not sure if you have anything planned. " "Let me just regain feeling in my rear." Pinkie said rolling over onto her back. "Fine." Nate said as he walked to the bed and plopped down next to Pinkie. "Can I ask you question, silly-bean?" Pinkie asked rolling on top of Nate. "Sure." Nate said as he closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto the pillow. "What would you do if I got pregnant?" Pinkie asked in a slightly serious tone of voice. Nate's eyes burst open and he raised his head and met Pinkie's eyes and their noses nearly touched. "Now why do you want to know what I'd do?" Nate asked as he raised his right eyebrow. "Just thinkin'. If we last a while it could happen." Pinkie said as she rolled onto her back while still on Nate. She bent her head back to keep eye contact with Nate. Her lips nearly dipped to a frown. "Well if we last that long.....I'd probably move us to a bigger home, pop the question, all that traditional stuff....but then again, plans can change as the bridges come along, so that's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it." "When you come to it?" Pinkie said. "Not, 'If'?" Nate didn't speak. He just winked at Pinkie. She blushed slightly in return. "Got feeling in your rear, yet?" Nate asked. "I might. What do you want to do today?" Pinkie asked as she rubbed her back against Nate's belly. "We could go under the covers for Round Two...." Nate said slyly. Pinkie gently hummed as she leaned her head back further and rolled onto her side. She heard Nate's heartbeat she wrapped her fore-hooves around Nate and said. "That sounds good, but I have something else in mind....how about we go to the lake?" "Hmmm..." Nate hummed as he contemplated the idea. He hadn't had any experience swimming with his body yet so he'd need to be a little cautious. "Alright. Let's go swimming." He said with a wide smile. Nate tried to get up but Pinkie held him down. "Swimming can wait just a little longer....." Pinkie said as she rolled over onto her belly and put her fore hooves on Nate's chest. She leaned in really close to Nate's head and whispered in his ear. "Time for fun....fun......FUN!" _________________________________ Nate came up from beneath the water's surface and looked around. The mid-day sun was blazing down onto the lake, yet the lake was still at most only 10 degrees Celsius. Nate like the water a bit cold. He continued to look around the lake and the surrounding area and couldn't find Pinkie anywhere. "Pinkie! Where'd you go?" He called out. Nate felt something breath into his ear then heard a whisper. "Beeeehiiinnnndddd you." Nate spun around in the water and smiled at Pinkie. Her mane was being weighed down the water it had absorbed. She wrapped her forehooves around him and let him hold her above the water. She kissed him upon the lips then smiled at him. "This is fun." "I concur." Nate said as he dived back beneath the surface of the water. He went down near the plant life at the bottom of the lake and hid in the brush for a second. Pinkie came down shortly after looking for him. She looked around near the bottom but didn't see Nate. Her face became slightly blue and she swam fast for air. Nate stayed a second longer than he too became a bit blue and ditched his hiding place in the brush. He needed air as as well. He came up behind Pinkie and leaned his head in close. He choked out the words. "I love you." > 15. Age. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nate toweled Pinkie off and she did the same to him. When both parties were satisfied and concluded the other was dry enough, the two exchanged a passionate kiss. "Silly-bean?" PInkie asked as she finished drying off while sitting on a towel. "Yeah?" Nate responded as he straightened out his mane next to her. "In the lake.......you said you love me?" Pinkie asked. The two of them met eyes, Nate was smiling politely at her. "I had a tiney weeny bit of water and hair in my ears." "Oh then you didn't hear me. I'll repeat it. I, Nate the pans-dimensional god, love you, Pinkie Pie the pink pony." Nate said in a calm voice as he stroked her cheek with his hoof. Pinkie nearly burst into tears as she pounced on Nate. Forcing him down onto his back with her weight she began to kiss and lick his face. "I la-la-la-la-looooooovvvvvvvvvveeeeeee yooooooooooouuuuuuuuu toooooooooo!" She shouted into his ear as she kissed his face. Nate winched as she screamed into his ear, he wrapped his hooves around her and tried to hold her still. They laughed as they lightly wrestled each other, Nate trying to hold Pinkie still and Pinkie trying to keep moving. _______________________________________ Princess Luna paced back and forth in Celestia's office. "I'm just not sure what I should do." "This is quite the predicament." Celestia agreed nodding as she wrote on a note pad at her desk. "If what you suspect is true then maybe you should tell Nate of this......development. I'm preparing a roster of all the Canterlot staff for him. Once I'm finished with this, maybe you could visit Ponyvile and tell him and deliver the roster." Celestia turned a page in the notepad and continued writing. Luna stopped and looked at her sister. "I just can't believe this." Celestia looked up from her notes. "Indeed. Three days, dear. Then you may go to Ponyvile." _______________________________________ Nate and Pinkie were walking past many trees and bushes on their way back into town. With a fire for one another burning in their hearts. They both felt inseparable, Nate smiled as he looked back upon his good luck. He hummed a light tune as he and Pinkie walked together. "What song is that?" Pinkie asked. "I'm not sure, just started humming something that came into my head. I think it's by Dean Martin." Nate said, then resumed humming the tune. "Ohhhh is he the human you told me about the one that was on a trek through the stars?" Pinkie said putting a hoof to her chin. "No. I think that was either Will Wheaton or Patrick Stewart." Nate corrected. "They were, as humans say: actors. Dean Martin was a musician." Pinkie nodded as Nate began to explain a bit of Dean Martin's life and how he began playing certain types of music. She seemed rather enthusiastic whenever Nate told her of the human's and their odd world. Her enthusiasm gave him some inner satisfaction; it made explaining things to her fun and easy. It was like being a teacher and having the perfect student. He smiled as he concluded his explanation on the music of Dean Martin. Pinkie and Nate kept walking along the road, occasionally a cart would pass, but it was usually a ghost road, otherwise. They enjoyed the slight solitude of the empty road, conversation only switched topics whenever a dusty old carriage happen to be coming by. Nate would continue his humming in moments of complete silence. Pinkie would start a tune of her own, maybe close her eyes as she hummed and bounce up the road at Nate's side. After a few minutes Nate would begin to question how she was able to bounce like for long periods of time without causing injury to her hooves, but then concluded that maybe he didn't know enough about pony anatomy. "Can I ask how old you are?" Pinkie asked. "I'm not sure if we've been on this topic or not." "I'm about three and a half trillion years old. I'm older than this universe, the one before it, and the one before that by about three times the total sum of all their ages. Besides this one is still young it's only what.....fourteen billion years old? It still has most of its stars, you should see a universe when it collides with another. Very pretty." Nate explained as he remembered his youth and remembered watching two of the largest black hole filled universes collide into this one. "Did you say trillion?" Pinkie said looking at him in surprise. "Yeah. I'm three trillion, four hundred and fifty seven billion, nine hundred and thirty nine million, two hundred and three thousand, six hundred and twelve. Simple." Nate said "My birthday is December twenty fifth. If you ever throw me a party you'll need more candles than you have in existence." Pinkie giggled. "I think your older than Celestia!" "Probably. She's a new being in this world. A demi god of some sort that happen to form with this universe. I'm don't have a full knowledge of her history so since she has only existed in this universe, I can assume she is either fourteen billion or about three billion. Fourteen billion if she doesn't need oxygen and formed with this universe. three billion if she needs oxygen I suppose. If I had to guess I'd say the one billion mark would be about the time the atmosphere formed. Although I could be wrong about that, it might be closer to two billion." "Oooooh cool!" Pinkie said bouncing along at Nate's side. " > 16. A choice. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Three days of light to moderate laziness later. Funny. Some days feel like they're going to be dreadful. Others have no feeling at all and just go in line with one another as some string of nothing. The last three days were basically a string of nothing. On those days Nate woke up. Had breakfast with Pinkie, lounged about doing light reading and occasionally shopping for clothing or other basic needs. Then it went onto lunch, dinner, maybe 'woo hoo', then sleep. This repeated for two more days and then this day of dread came about and Nate woke up while the moon was still out. He grumbled himself out of bed as a distant knocking annoyed his half awake mind. He looked at Pinkie, who was able to sleep through the knocking, he smiled at the peacefully sleeping pony. As Nate walked out of the bedroom, he lit up his horn to avoid bumping into things. The knocking was on the entrance of Pinkie's home, someone had something say at about four in the morning. The knocker picked up his or her speed and knocked more rapidly. "Not sure if Ponies wear these but....keep your panties on!" Nate called out as he rounded the kitchen counter and opened a cabinet. He grabbed a pink coffee mug and looked about for the coffee. Once he had found it and poured himself a cup he went to the door. The knocker was knocking harder with the force of someone with something important on their mind. Nate approached the door and opened it to see a tall purple-blue figure standing there. Nate's mind took a nano-second and identified the figure as Princess Luna. "Is this important enough to wake me?" Princess Luna nodded. "I believe so. May I come in?" Nate stepped out of her way and gestured her in. "Of course." Luna took a few steps in. She seemed distracted by something that plagued her thoughts. She pulled something out her mane, it was a small rolled up scroll. "This is a roster of everyone who is employed at the castle or visits regularly. However, there is another thing I need to talk with you about." Nate sipped his coffee. "Hmmm?" "You see that night when we were drunk....you and I shared each other. Ever since that night I've been feeling odd." Princess Luna began. She took a quick pause to collect herself. "I've been having odd cravings. I've been eating more ice cream and pickles than usual, I've been more emotional than usual as well. I went to the doctor yesterday to confirm my suspicion." Luna stopped again and gulped. "What are you saying? Is it your time of the month?" Nate asked. "I'm not familiar with any correlation between us having drunken sex and you having cravings and emotional issues." "Th-then let me just...say it..........I-I.........Nate....you........are going to be a father." Luna choked out. Nate was silent for a second. "Uhhh huh. A father of what?" "A foal, whose mother is Princess of the moon." Luna said "Nate....I'm-" Time froze around Nate. His left eye began to twitch. "I know what she is going to say." He said to himself as he stared at the frozen Princess, who was in mid speaking. "Why did I do it?" He asked himself. "Why did I have sex with this......pony?" He blinked as he sat there in the frozen void of time, staring into the eyes of the anxious princess. "Three billion years of age, a five digit IQ, and I was seduced and gave whatever seed this body can produce to a princess of whom I'd only met a few hours before." Nate evaluated, just sitting there. "Am I growing crazy or is this truly what I have done? Will I awake and find this all to be just some strange dream concocted by my mind. Will I awaken upon the surface of my favorite star? To discover that there is no place called Equestria, to discover I'd simply fallen in a dose while thinking about things of the equine nature?" Nate closed his eyes. Concentrating as hard as he could on his current thought. When he opened his eyes again he saw two other versions of himself. One was a feminine version of his pony-self, the half of him that was a female. The other was his logical form. It was still a pony cosmetically but it possess no emotions what-so-ever. There were many other versions of himself that he could extract, he could split his entire being into segments. Then split them up and converse with all of them at once, but he decided these two would be more useful in this situation. "What do I do?" He asked them. The three of them sat in a triangle with the princess in the center. The female Nate who went by "Natasha." was first to speak. "Marry her of course. You made your mistake you must live with it. Literally." She said in a gentle, lightly pitched tone of voice, walking to the Princess and examining her the Princess's face. "Ahem." The logical Nate said. "I believe that Nate would prefer to not harm the Pink one's feelings. The most logical course of action would be to sit the princess and the pink one down and talk with them both on the situation. Reach a compromise that satisfys all parties. However there is a high chance that the pink one will not be satisfied with any compromise. She will more than likely be hurt by the fact that you and this princess had coitus." Nate nodded at his logic. "I like that plan." He looked to Natasha. "Anything to back up your suggestion?" "I've already made my point. Marry the princess, she can make your few centuries on this world easy. Very relaxing and enjoyable. I see a future of exotic diplomatic trips, sex, and a good bit of the Equestrian government under your influence. And besides every princess deserves a husband who can meet her every need. I think you could easily fill that role." Nate nodded. "That could be fulfilling." "Not just fulfilling, but you could use the resources that this princesses has at her disposal to advance their civilization. With your brain you could easily take them into some sort of technological golden age! Curing disease, creating art, and doing much more. You could be the being to give them space travel. At first simple then someday.....warp technology and other things. Allow these ponies to spread throughout the galaxy. Make them your most beloved species. The species you allow have the most powerful foot hold in your universe." Natasha said trying to entice Nate into following her advice. "That sounds wonderful." Nate said "But to do so would hurt Pinkie. I could do the same thing but slower with Pinkie." "True." The logic said. "It is your choice." Natasha said. "That is a fact no one can change, Nate." His logic said. > 17. What it is and what it means. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nate woke Pinkie and brought into the main room. "*Gasp* Princess what are you doing here!?" Pinkie asked once she spotted the Princess who had found a jar of pickles and begun eating them. Nate gestured for Pinkie to sit with the Princess at the kitchen counter. She walked over and sat down next to the Princess and raised an eye brow at the moon princess, who simply reached for another pickle. "Now, Pinkie." Nate began. "The reason I've woken you up is well of a matter than involves all of us." He took a deep breath then continued. "Luna and I were drinking. We had been drinking beverages of the alcoholic nature. We got very intoxicated and we had....sex." Pinkie's face was completely blank. She blinked; looking at Nate, then Luna. Luna nodded to indicate that Nate was not crazy or joking. "Nate...." Pinkie said in a near whisper. "....pl-please continue." "Well I tried to cover it up to protect you." Nate said shamefully. He looked at the floor. "Clearly. I've failed. Luna is pregnant, you're going through some sort of emotional bombardment with each word and I feel like I want to die." Pinkie got up and walked to Nate. She put her hooves around him and kissed him hard on the lips. Thrusting her tongue into his mouth she ignore every part of her mind that told her he was at fault and should be punished. She broke off the kiss and hugged him as hard as she could. "We'll make this work." she whispered. "Okay, silly-bean?" "Okay." Nate said nearly breaking into tears. They de-hugged and both looked to Luna. "What about the foal?" Nate asked. Pinkie walked to Luna. "With your permission, Nate and I will raise the foal." Luna looked at her, then Nate, then Pinkie again, then Nate again. "I-I'm not sure I'd like that. I've always wanted to be a mother. I'm not going to simply give you my foal. I want Nate or at least the foal in my womb." Nate's eyes widened. "Why in the world do you want me? I'm some pompous god who feels he's better than anyone who's not having sex with him." He said trying to make Luna not want him. "I'm only remotely friendly because during this little exile if I were to kill all of you, it'd be very lonely. I only keep all of your ponies around for the company." "We both know that's not true." Luna said. She stood up and walked to Nate. "Come with me to Canterlot for a weekend. We can discuss this in length over tea." "I'll think about it." Nate said then looked to Pinkie. "No kissing or cuddling or anything. I am with Pinkie, no matter what little seedling of mine rests in your stomach." He stated walking over to Pinkie and kissing her cheek. "Luna can you leave?" Pinkie asked. "I want to talk with Nate." her voice was a near whisper. She didn't sound sad or disappointed, she just sounded as if all of her emotions had been removed. Luna nodded. Then got up and walked to the door. "Nate. Please do write to me." she said as she went out the door. Nate and Pinkie were left there. Nate wasn't sure what he was suppose to do. Pinkie just sat there looking at where the Princess had sat, clearly in deep thought. Nate was silent, she needed time to think. "Pinkie? Should I sleep on the couch?" "No. No. I want to sleep, but I want to do it with you." Pinkie said trying to guide Nate to the bedroom. "Well I guess we should discuss this further sometime when the sun is up." Nate said as he let Pinkie guide him to the bed. "Just shut up and hold me." Pinkie said as she shut the door behind them. ________________________________________________ Three of them stood in a triangle. One was human. He was tall by human standards, he wore a black pin-striped suit and black leather shoes. His hair was gelled back to look smooth and even comforting to the eyes. He was in his mid thirties, or at least appeared to be. In actuality he was older than Nate. He spoke in a deep voice to the others in the triangle. His voice was calm and collective, his dark brown eyes displayed no emotion. "Nate is doing well. One at his side, another wanting the first's position at his side with a baby in her belly." "The child could prove to be problematic, though. Did we expect him accidentally mate with the locals?" Another asked. She was humanoid but not human specifically. She was far younger than Nate by at least a trillion years. She was of some reptilian nature, she stood on two legs but her skin was green and pasty. "The child of a god. What power could it possibly possess?" "It could inherit all of our sibling's powers or at least most if it receives more of his genes." The third said. This one was not humanoid at all. In fact it was a simple house cat, just this house cat was three times Nate's age and capable of things unlike anything Nate could do. "It may be wise to reset the scenario. Rewind and modify a few factors. Who did we have him make first contact with last time? Was it that Twilight Sparkle? Or was it Rainbow Dash?" "I believe we said if we had to rewind again it'd only be if Nate was about to be executed. So far there is no indication of hostile action towards him." The first one said. "And last time it was that....Bon Bon." "Yes, let's just see how this time plays out." The reptile woman said. > 18. Energy and Nate's purpose. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nate isolated himself in a egg shell white room of some random mansion looking over a tundra. He always liked this area of his first world. He was on the planet that he had first created when he started this latest universe. Or at least a replica of it since he was trapped on Equestria. He had teleported himself about one hundred miles from Equestria's borders and formed the mansion out of thing air on a cliff side over looking a steep decline in elevation with grass and pine trees. There was also a water fall that seemed to come from his basement, but that was natural. The white room had a few pieces of basic furniture. A sofa or two, facing one wall that was composed of only glass and steel. He came here to collect himself, well that and because he wanted to sit around and eat ice cream for a little while. He held a small half gallon bucket of ice cream to his right on the sofa, a small silver spoon would scoop a bit of the chocolate ice cream then bring it to Nate's mouth. All was silent, except for the slight hum that echoed through the house as water rushed below it. Nate was about half way through the ice cream when the silence was broken. "Nate." A voice called, it was feminine, on a higher point of pitch. It was voice Nate hadn't heard since just before he was exiled. Nate turns on the small sofa and sees the reptilian face of one of his many sisters. "Ah Delta, how good to see you." He says with an uneasy expression on his face and many questions on his mind. "It's good to see you too, Beta. Or is it Nate, now?" Delta says noticing his uneasy expression. "From the look on that pony face of yours I can tell you clearly don't trust me." "Really? You don't say!?"Nate says jumping up on the couch and climbing right over it. He approached the reptilian woman and despite being barely half her size, she backed away cautiously. "The last time you and I were in the same plane of existence you were voting for my execution!" Nate shouts, letting all his anger and memories flow. "Well you're here today aren't you?" Delta says, looking him up and down. "Why are you here?" Nate growls "Don't you have some lizards to care for? Or have the humans in your dimension exterminated that inferior race yet?" Delta laughs and waves dismissively. "To you're obvious disapproval, they are still alive and well." Nate grunts in annoyance. "Why are you here, Delta?" She smiles lightly and begins to speak. "If you must know...." her smiles fades quickly. "...we're using you." "'We'?" Nate asks, he now felt less annoyed and a bit more curious than he should be. "Who?" "Alpha, Pox, and myself." Delta squeaks out quickly. Clearly nervous that her brother would become...violent. "What are the three of you doing to me?" Nate asks his eyes lit up with a clear and burning anger. Delta appears to be getting even more nervous. Her eyes began to dilate in intervals of about thirty to forty seconds between dilation. Nate could sense a slight fear in her voice. "We've been using you as a guinea pig for some...experiments. You see, we wanted to know how much we could do to you before you lost complete control of your mind.We've currently been repeating your exile and modifying small variables. This time we increased your capacity of emotion and sensitivity to the by roughly eighty percent above the norm." Nate looks puzzled. "Why would you be doing that?" "We wish to find out why your mind is more different than our own. For example you have to use vocal communication, the rest of us are capable of telepathy but choose to maintain vocal speech for the sake of not getting used to the telepathy." Delta says. "You appear to be able to process information quicker than most of us, your mind can handle many forms of stress and illness without difficulty, and you are unaffected by the demi-gods of the forty second dimension. We wish to know exactly why." The demi-gods of the forty second are a strange lot. Nate had visited them once after a small accident had occurred, one of his brothers had intruded upon them when he accidentally opened a tear in his own universe and found theirs on the other side. The demi-gods were actually demi-gods however, they were beings of pure energy existing in a liquidized universe. They were very xenophobic, they would harm any intelligence that entered their universe including the gods like Nate and his family by invading their minds and forcing higher functions to shut down one by one until the mind was no longer active. Then they simply absorbed it and converted it to energy, when Nate went to retrieve his brother from their universe they attempted to do what they had started to on his brother and quickly found that he was invincible to their mental attacks. The energy beings of the forty second dimension still fear Nate but are merciless towards any of his relatives who accidentally open a portal to their world. Nate has acted as the policeman of his family going from universe to universe whenever a conflict had begun and closing the tears after rescuing his family members. These conflicts were very rare and only happened after a very specific chain of nearly unpreventable events. "You want to be able to fend off the energy beings?" Nate asks. "No, we want to rid our universes of them. You've been said to have the ability not only to deter their attacks by fight back, we want to know how." Delta explained. "And what do the ponies have to do with this?" Nate asks tilting his head to the right. "They bear the same abilities, well at least certain ones. Like Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and the Princesses." Delta says. Nate considers this and nods. "I think I understand, what I don't quite get is why you wish to kill the energy beings. Why not just learn to defend against them?" "Because then they will continue to be an annoyance whenever a portal to their dimension opens. We have controlled the fates of everything that has come into existence in our universes, why not them?" Delta asks him, her tone blank. "Because we abide by our own unspoken rules, we don't punish a species that doesn't deserve it. These energy beings simply don't want us in their home, we should try a more peaceful solution before we simply obliterate them." Nate says feeling uneasy discussing the fate of a species that had never done much more than defend their home from outsiders. "We've already decided, brother. They are to die." Delta says grimly as she walks to the window and looks down at the water. Nate's expression turns to grim and annoyed. "I will have no part in their destruction." "Actually you will." Delta says. "I only came here ot see if you would do so willingly. Clearly, I was mistaken, have a good time with the ponies, Nate.." She says disappearing. Nate blacks out and is teleported back into bed with Pinkie Pie, his memory of the conversation purged from his mind.