We're Concerned
We're concerned.
"It's been six months since Carl died."
"You don't know he's dead. The truck was empty. Not even any blood."
"Well, he's gone anyway. It's just... mom."
"What about her?"
"I think she's losing it."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you know how she's been taking time off work? I didn't want to tell anyone this, but she'd been watching soaps the whole time."
"That doesn't seem abnormal."
"Let me finish. It's been six months, right? She's back at work, but she DDRs the soaps and watches them at night now. I know. I've been over several times."
"And? What's the problem with that? Plenty of people watch soaps."
"You know how the doctors tell you about warning signs? Changes in behavior? Well... she STOPPED watching her soaps."
"That's it?"
"No."
"What is she doing in stead? Rebuilding a 63 Corvette?"
"*laugh* No... about a month ago, she started watching 'My Little Pony.'"
"Well ... that's a little odd, but ..."
"There's more."
"She's happy. REALLY happy. Bubbly even. Creepily so."
"Huh. You think it might be helping her? Why question it?"
"And she's been talking about Carl."
"What is she saying?"
"She's asking questions about him. If HE ever watched the show before. What character I think he might like best out of them. How dangerous it would BE if one of us wound up in the show, with all the dragons and minotaurs and manticores and what-l-dingles."
"Wound up in the show?"
"It's all she ever talks about now. And she has this... LOOK on her face when she does. Like she's expecting me to call her crazy when she hasn't said anything explicitly 'crazy' yet."
"That IS weird. Do you really think she's losing it?"
"I confonted her about it just the other day. I asked her what the deal was, why she was buying all the My Little Pony DVDs and watching them over and over again."
"Over and over again?"
"She's not just waiting for it to come up on air. She's seeking it out. It hasn't really affected her work yet, I don't think. But anyway, so I'm asking her what the deal is, and she just clams up. Tight lipped. Nothing. She can't even look at me. And her eyes were... I don't know. Moving a mile a minute. Tearing up. She asked me to leave."
"Yeah, that sounds ... a little bad."
"Do you think I'm overreacting?"
"No, not yet. Calling me was a good first step. I'll stop by her place and just hang out for a while."
"I appreciate it. Thank you."
"Well, she's mom. Of course I'll help out."
---
Alice knocked a second time. "Mom?"
From beyond the door, she heard "Just a sec."
The sound of cute cartoon ponies stopped, and then she heard some noises of furniture being moved. Mom soon opened the door. "Were you just watching... a cartoon?"
"Yes. It's so nice to see you, darling. It's been a couple months hasn't it?"
She walked into the apartment and mom closed the door. "Mom... I talked with sis, and... "
"Oh." Mom sat down and had a hard time meeting her daughter's eyes.
"We're concerned, is all. What's going on?"
"I just... like the show is all. It's really brightened my day. EVERY day. I guess it's just a silly little thing. I mean, it's not as if I kept it ON and ignored you or anything."
"..."
"What?"
"You're glancing that way, RIGHT NOW, mom."
"*sigh* Okay. I can do this."
"It sounds like you need help."
"I don't need help. I'm just... interested. Listen, honey. Did you get my invitation?"
"I come to your birthday party every year, mom. You know I'll be there."
"Good, good. That's what's important."
"No, what's important, mom, is that you ... are happy."
"Really?"
"Yes, if that show makes you happy, then I'm happy. But if it takes over your life, you need to realize that."
"It... hasn't taken over my life."
Alice tapped a tiny Gilda the Gryphon on a shelf full of other figurines. "It kinda has."
"Oh. Heh. I thought I'd... well... Well, they're cute, and ... it isn't as bad as it is on 'hoarders' is it?"
"No, mom. It's a lot, but it isn't messy or anything."
"Good, good. Well, listen. I... *sigh* You're right. I have been shutting myself off quite a bit. Let's go out for a meal and ... catch up."
"That sounds great."
Mom got up and started getting ready to leave, but paused. "..."
"What is it, mom?"
"It's just... Oh, it's probably all right. I... " She wrote a note and left it on the table. "Just... in case..."
The note read 'Out for a walk. Be back soon.' Mom put the note in the chair by the television, facing it. She smiled a little worriedly.
"All right. The air will do you good, mom."
They left, and mom locked the door.
"Mom? Who's going to see the note? Does someone else have a key?"
"Yes. That's it. The maintenance man might be stopping by later. There's... a problem with the faucet. Come on now. Let's go."
"..." She knew mom was hiding something.
"Don't look at me like that."
---
Everyone was gathered around the table chatting at Mom's birthday party.
"So then I said to Allen this isn't the time OR place to discuss moving in with five other college boys. I --- wh... what is..." Auntie stopped.
A shimmering square of light had appeared in the room.
"Oh goodness I'm so glad I'm not crazy!" Mom was tearing up.
"Holy crap, Carl?" Alice stood up.
"Hi everyone. Happy birthday mom. Good turnout."
"Oh!" Auntie leaned back, fainting.
"Honey!" Uncle turned his attention to his wife.
"Auntie!" Sister glanced at Auntie, then back to the square.
"Oh thank the stars I'm not crazy! Oh, Carl! I'm so glad!"
"Hi, mom."
"CARL! You sonofa- You! What IS this?" Dad stood and was clenching his fists.
"Twilight cast a spell on a mirror to let us talk."
"Now just hold on a second here... who's Twilight? AAH!"
"Hello there. You must be Carl's dad. I'm Twilight Sparkle."
"Holy crap, that's ... that's..." Sister pointed at the pony in the magic floating square.
"Yes, there's a reason for that. The character Twilight Sparkle was based on me and my adventures with my pony friends."
"I don't believe it." Sister walked forward and touched the glowing square, making it wobble. "Tingles."
"So anyway, I just wanted to call back and just let everyone know I'm not dead. I'm just going to live here in Equestria from now on."
"Hold on a second. How is this possible?"
"I'll take that one, Carl. Hi. Twilight again. You see, it's quite simple, really. I was feeling kind of lonely one day when all my friends were off being busy, and I wanted a friend. So, I cast a spell on the book "Humans and Earth" to make one of the fictional characters come to life. And it worked! Carl became a real person in reality."
Time passed. For some, it felt like a million years. Jenny, the youngest, and the happiest to see Twilight was real finally spoke. "Wat."
"You're all fictional characters in a book. Carl was feeling a little homesick and wanted to see you all again. Here's Carl."
"Hi everybody. Sorry about that, but it's probably for the best you all know the truth."
"But… but Carl… How… What does this mean?"
"Well, through me, all of you are a little bit more real than the rest of reality -- I mean everything else in the book. It means you won't get hurt as easily, but otherwise nothing will change for you. I didn't notice I was fictional when I was in the book. Oh, mom! Um… that reminds me. I read ahead a little and… well, I can't really tell you what happens, but don't worry too much about mittens when she goes missing. "
Mittens, hearing her name, spoke up. "Mrowr."
"No. Nope. That's --- that's just wrong. WE'RE in reality, YOU'RE in the fantasy world, Carl!" Alice was shaking her head.
"Nuh uh."
"Yah huh."
"Nuh uh."
"Yah huh."
That went on for a bit before Pinkie put a "Nuh uh" where it shouldn't have been, reversing the flow of who said no and yes. She finished it up with: "Well. I'm glad you agree with us that you're all fictional." She stuck her tongue out at the people.
"Quit exploitin' their adherence to narrative comedy, Pinkie. They're cartoon characters. They can't help it."
"Cartoon?! I'm not a cartoon!" Dad grabbed a lamp and shook it at the square.
"Well, of course y'all THINK you're real looking. Now I just wanna let you folk know we ain't gonna forget about you none."
Alice pointed at the square, looking back at her family. "Following the adherence to narrative comedy?! SHE just used a double-negative!"
"Whups. You caught that, didja? Dern spell made 'em TOO self-aware, Twi."
"Isn't there SOMETHING we can DO for them, Twilight? They lead SUCH a boring, unfabulous life!"
"Well, I could write something in the margins, maybe. It should affect their reality, somewhat."
"Great! I have so many ideas. They simply MUST look nicer. Especially if we have to keep peeking in at them from time to time. No offense, Carl."
"None taken."
"Now hold on just a minute - we - we're not … I…" Dad was floundering.
Mom gave dad a hug. "It's okay, dear. In a way, we're immortal. We live again each time somepony reads about us."
Jenny ran up and looked right in the screen. "I want a pony! "
"Well, sure. We can write that in the margins too."
"No! I want Fluttershy!"
"Oh! Um... hello."
"Squee!!!!"
"Oh, my!"
"Step back, Flutters. Time for the grand finale. Rainbow Dash style!"
"I want out!" Alice shouted suddenly.
Everyone was quiet.
"Now, dear. That's just not possible. Carl explained it to me in the first call."
"Your mom's right, Alice. We're sorry, but Princess Celestia said 'no more humans.' And, well, she's the boss!"
"Oh."
"There, there, dear. It's not so bad."
"Yeah, I'm gonna get a Fluttershy to play with every day!"
"I didn't notice it before hand, Alice. I don't see why we should worry about it now."
"But... "
"Well, the spell's about to run its course here, so the window will be closing. We'll check in again from time to time."
"No you won't."
"Close it, Twi. They're catching on..."
"Right. Goodbye!"
---
"Alice honey? You haven't been going to work or anything for months, dear. Please turn off the ponies and come out."