• Member Since 15th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 31st, 2014

bigheart675


T

After the fall of Grey gravel the TF2 mercenaries must retire in Equestria. Will they make friends and learn the ways of the pony folk or will they bring their war into a new dimension? An idea that came into my head and also my first fic I've had actually posted.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 39 )

Well longer chapter I don't mind waiting but please not two weeks ok. Also I have suggestion that would be hilarious.
Make soldier do his alternate Personality
PAINIS CUPCAKE that would be funny.:pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:

2480504 *Twi and the girls walk up*
*awkward shifting motion off the floor* "I am PAINis CUPCAKE! I will eat you!"
Girls: :applejackunsure::fluttershbad::pinkiegasp::rainbowderp::raritydespair::twilightoops:

im working on that for chapter 4 right now a certain ruassian might have wandered into town

2482409
Pinkie Pie: "Did you say you're a cupcake?!"
Pinkie Pie: *Om Nom Nom*
Dead, amen.

2483334 But what about his self-übercharge? He could charge himself to be invulnerable to the nom-noms of Pinkie. :pinkiecrazy:


2483510
Pinkie would just stop the uber with her Pinkie powers

This is good so far, but look out for the grammar errors. There are plenty

Oh no it's a full moon I transform in painis cupcake/robot .
"Boop I'm painis cupcake".

Protip: get proof reader :/

Comment posted by bigheart675 deleted May 6th, 2013

funny story. some flaws, but i say you should get a pre-reader as well. I could preread for ya' i guess. Not the best, but eh, i'm suitable.

Sergoiovan is already my proofreader but thanks for offering:twilightsmile:

new chapter is almost here i've been busy with fianls but it should come out on thursday

the end off an era
:applecry: that sunk my hart a little bit thank

All the typo's it is terrible. It is Painis, pain-is
At the end of a quotation, it is on;y a period of that is the end, if it is followed by 'Applejack said', it has a comma at the end of the quote and the period is after the 'Applejack said'
Exclamation and question marks as fine at the end of a line of dialogue.
it is "y'all" not ya'll
Y'all it an abbreviation of you and all.
Example

“Uh… not right now Heavy. Get on off to bed ya’ll got an early start tomorrow.” AJ called out as the mercs left to go to their sleeping quarters

it should be more like

“Uh… not right now Heavy. Get on off to bed y'all got an early start tomorrow,” AJ called out as the mercs left to go to their sleeping quarters.

2622359 I understand I didn't send this one through my proof reader. I'll give it to him today though there is no need to hate. If you are going to hate leave.

2623209
Sig hail! Hail mien Grammar
sorry, but this was a bit ridiculous. I could understand a few errors, because I am terrible at editing myself, but when I see many, many errors I get frustrated.

What about 'Ass Pancakes' the scout-like Panis?

they'll all come later next up is Demopan. Btw I think the strange characters are called seims

I'm helping my brother move into his new house so expect the next chapter around monday

yes yes yes yes yes yesyes!!!

I love this story also put the unusaul hat idea in here cause that would be funny. Also make them say there funny lines.
SPY: slap my ass

....oh god.... first panis, now demopan!?!? THE PONIES ARE SCREWED!!!

3213183 no that was 3 months ago. I will work on the next chapter today

im still going to do the story i just hit a huge writers block. Im working on the chapter now hopefully it will be out this week.

:pinkiehappy:deer teem when to meet tiny ponies with pyro loov heavy

I loved it :raritywink:
Please feel free to make more chapters of this awesome story! :yay:

I Demand More of this story......pretty please?

2483586 she's a pony she Eats vegetables, and fruits.

Several posters lined the walls, including one that showed engineer with a huge neck

XD NOPIGINEER

NOT THE DEMOPAN ANYTHING BUT THE DEMOPAN

THIS IS AWESOME
MAKE MORE SOON

come on man, We need an Update!!!! where are you man.

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