One - Fimfiction

Midnight herald #1 · Apr 22nd, 2013 · · ·

I remember this one... Very enjoyable, although I think without the prompt to help put it into context the en media res feel of it was perhaps a bit more jarring than I quite expected, although you did a good job prettying it up for a second run.

One little typo I noticed:

gazing unto cerulean eyes that screamed the exact opposite

Unto should be into, if I'm reading your intentions correctly. But thanks for sharing.

Craine

Craine #2 · Apr 22nd, 2013 · · ·

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2468036

Ah, Midnight Herald. A pleasure to receive a comment from you. Yes, I did doubt uploading this one for the reason you suggested. I was tempted to actually add a little more back-story to it. But then there was a the little plot gremlin... Damn thing owes me money.

Shin Guyviroth

Shin Guyviroth #3 · Apr 23rd, 2013 · 4 · ·

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It's hard to really get to enjoy this piece simply because there's very little backstory and very little plot given in the few words this story has. As much as I can gather, Rarity tried to find love by proposing to each of the other Mane 6 and was rejected each time?

It's well written but, unfortunately, choice of words alone does not make for compelling reading without being coupled with substance. If not compelling, then still a good read at least. I enjoyed the read despite being confused over the premise of the story itself, but it's for those reasons I cannot give a thumbs up nor a thumbs down.

But a good effort regardless

Midnight herald

Midnight herald #4 · Apr 23rd, 2013 · · ·

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2468058 I totally get you there... Any and all attempts I've made to flesh out TMP prompts for general consumption ends with a really, really crappy beginning to a story that gets shoved into my garbage folder. Plot gremlins are the bane of my creative process...

solocitizen

solocitizen #5 · Apr 23rd, 2013 · · ·

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For something written in thirty minutes, this piece really has a lot of things going for it. The characterization is one of the most effective elements of the piece. While I'm not entirely convinced that the characters are behaving like their canon selves, you managed to create a very tender moment between the two, and without the benefit of having a lot of context to provide the reader with.
Of some of the things that could be done a bit better... I really didn't feel very well grounded in the setting throughout the piece, and I think the first several paragraphs say a lot of things that could better be left unsaid.
All in all though, this was an enjoyable thousand words.

ShiningNova

ShiningNova #6 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

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Well it was short and it left it up to the reader to try and figure out what the hay was going on. but despite its shortness and lack of background info it was still a neat little story.

sjosten