Twilight Sparkle is, of course, a genius. Her insatiable love for books has made her a walking encyclopedia of all things magic. But you can't become truly great in academia just by reading books; Albert Einstein didn't invent the special theory of relativity by reading about it in high school. Well, Twilight has aspirations of true greatness. Her world is full of mysteries that she won't find the answers to in her library, and she's determined to be the one to solve them. And all the while, a villain wielding a brand of deadly, unknown magic is threatening both her friends and the whole of Equestria. What's a unicorn to do?
Being a genius isn't quite enough. Luckily, Twilight is also a scientist.
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This is an old story that takes place in the canon circa season two. It involves a slight re-imagining of Twilight to make her more of a scientist than a science fangirl. This doesn't mean she's no longer a cute nerd; if anything, she's more adorkable than ever.
11k words in 1 chapter...on it boss
If I may make a suggestion.
Instead of referring to the axioms as Twilight's Axiom One, Twilight's Axiom Two, etc., refer to them as Twilight's First Axiom, Twilight's Second Axiom, etc. Just makes it flow better.
Holy sweet mother of Celestia, I am flabbergasted by this masterful piece of art. The prose was absolutely delightful, and the characterization of Twilight was simply fascinating, especially the way that the Axioms work. The internal debate between Practicality and Friendship was quite amusing and simultaneously highly informative. Also, the whole interaction between Spike and Twilight was just breathtaking in its sincerity and depth of character. The plot was spotless and had me hooked from about the first two or three sentences, and the progression along the chapter was smooth as can be, ending at a sufficiently suspenseful conversation without resorting to cheap cliffhangers.
All in all, one of the fics truly deserving of an instant 5-star, instant track, and instant favorite.
(Although, you may wish to modify the description; the part about the new alicorn made me instantly think "Mary Sue alert"...)
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I think I agree with that. Thanks for the tip!
Err...I probably sound dumb for asking this, but how do you save edits to a chapter?
EDIT: Haha, nevermind, found it.
holy shit 11000 words im gonna have to read that tommorow but ill track it for now
Lol, poor Pranceton! If only he knew. If only.
Anyways: CONGRATULATIONS! You have won a free Author Tracking and Five Star Rating!
SO WRITE MOAR NAO!
Reginald Cantermole? Is that just a little Harry Potter reference I spy? Yes it is! I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!
You had the polynomial multiplication wrong it's suppose to be (AX+B)(CX+D)=ACX^2+(AD+BC)X+ >> BD <<.
All in all good read 5 Stars!
You might want to have a few prereaders to catch these mistakes. Since this is in Twilight's POV there can't be any errors! She's is a smart pony!
yeah that was pretty good keep it up
I have to largely repeat what everyone else has said here on this being excellent! Starting the way that you did from when Twilight received her cutie mark to show the Axioms was a great idea, and the way that you wrote filly!Twilight made her quite adorkable. The ending discussion between Celestia and Pranceton, I think was one of my favorite parts in this. It'll be interesting to see how you might write the relationship between the two.
I may have to save this one down to my hard drive. I think I'll very likely be reading it more than once, after it's finished, and I very much don't want to run the risk of losing that ability like I very nearly did with Eternal.
There are no words. I literally cannot believe how perfect this is. It's just... perfect.
Please tell me you're still working on it?
EDIT: nevermind it appears you updated as this page sat in another tab, waiting to be read. I have the best timing ever.
And this is why I stay up all night. Because I know there will be updates of my favorite story at some insane hour by an author who is most likely insane like I am... no offense.
I can't believe there is a Celestia-to-honest plot in this story. I really thought it was going to be a cute little two-shot about Twilight's Axioms and how she deals with Pinkie with them. But then Fluttershy dies and Rarity has dreams of everyone dieing by Twilight's magic might and it becomes quite obvious that this is not a cute little two-shot about Twilight's Axioms and how she deals with Pinkie with them. I can tell this is going to be one heck of a ride.
On a side note, You really covered all your bases well. And the interaction between Twilight's I guess inner personalities is awesome. And the explanation on how Twilight does amazing feats without that much magic is really original. I really like this story
.
Keep it up.
Also FIRST
God I love you. This has immediately shot to the top of my list of favourite fanfiction. I would just straight up call it my favourite, but I can't remember the details of my 'other favourites' well enough to compare.
But one thing it definitely has--best Twilight.
I'm sorry for my lack of critique. I just spent an hour or so reading the first few chapters of another fic and pointing out errors, but I really really just don't have anything to say. This is just ridiculously good.
Fluttershy DIES?
If so, I'm dropping this story like a dead rodent.
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I don't recall saying that Fluttershy dies.
Well, well, you're back. I've been waiting for you...
Well done once again, although I can't believe you are... appearing to kill Fluttershy, at least. With an OC alicorn villain, to boot. Just be careful, mate.
(Edit: didn't see your comment above. Ignore the above three sentences)
I think you can handle it, though. Continue on, my friend!
One or two typos, but spectacular nonetheless!
If you're nitty-gritty, here are the typos I noticed:
"Twilight's concentrate and magical grip both broke simultaneously,"
And then you used 'filly' as a term to describe children, when filly applies only to the younger females. You probably should have just used 'children.'
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Oh my god, I actually did not know that. Learn a little everyday.
Lovin' Twi's methodology of spell casting; it's a wonderful twist on the whole thing.
Good writing, new favorite
I love this story, one of the best I've ever read. Can't wait to see what happens.
I owe the discovery of this to Gwenio, who recommended it!
Hey, you certainly haven't updated in a long while. I'm glad to see you're still alive - the story too. Anyway, great chapters: I can't wait to see the look on 'Tia's face when Twi' breaks the arcane prism.
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I can't wait to see the look on Celestia's face when she learns Twilight broke into the Private Section of the Canterlot Archives.
Yessssssssss!
I particularly find it interesting to read about Dash's perspective on Twilight, and I love the way that you involve everypony in this story, rather than just Twilight.
Huh... didn't I already read this chapter...?
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Yep. You haven't read chapter 4 yet, though.
Looking interesting. My first thought was that Twi is gonna use the comet's power to try and free Shy.
I know she wanted it to be a surprise, but Twilight probably should have at least asked before tearing up Zecora's old sundial. On another hoof, though: yep, that's Twilight, all right.
Hmm. On one hoof, this is a great story, and I'm always happy to see ponies utilizing the power of SCIENCE! On another hoof, though, I think it's pretty clear by now that Canon Twilight isn't actually much of a scientist; she's more of a science fangirl. She just doesn't have the right temperament for it; she's far too quick to dismiss things as impossible.
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Yeah, I'd agree with that. I'm trying to do a slight re-characterization of Twilight to put her more in a true science-y mindset, which was the point of the first chapter. I guess that technically qualifies this as 'alternate universe', but it's so slight that I don't think that merits tagging it as such.
I dont like to think that Rarity is several times more powerful than Twilight.
In Boast Busters, Twilight levitated a tank full of milk, and an Ursa Minor at the same time. The tank, assuming dimensions of 3x3x5 metres, would hold just over 0.4 of a megalitre. Filled with milk, one litre of which weighs just over a kilogram, the tank would weigh over 400 tons. Assuming the weight of the Ursa to be about 200 tons, and taking into account the fact that the ursa was falling over, and that she was moving the tank sideways, Twilight was exerting 8,200,000 newtons of force, sustained over at least 10 seconds.
For comparison, it takes 900,000 newtons to lift an average house. If Rarity were several(seven) times more powerful than Twilight, even if she only had access to 1% of her power, and Twilight the full 100%, Rarity would be able to lift a house. With the way I skewed those percentages, I dont really think that is the case.
On Hiatus?
awesome story
i do hope that the hiatus doesn't last that long though
seems to me that celestia is afraid that twilight might grow out of her control, and become a danger, if she gets to read that part of the spell archives. and if not thinking that directly, i recon that she would still have those kinds of thoughts in the back of her head.
also: i imagine that twilight must be quite crushed right now; since celestia's words along with the fifth axiom could quickly translate into something like: "im worthless" in the mind of twilight, which in itself can lead to quite a lot of other thoughts, notable amongst those would be "i need more power", and quick power usually spells trouble...
so...almost 14 weeks since you showed signs of being alive (unless you count the "last seen online" thingie)...i absolutely hate to ask this, but; how's the next chapter coming along?
im with moss on this, an ETA would be nice, or at least something other than a flatline on your activity monitor
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It's really just a motivation problem. And it's not like I'm depressed or anything like that - there's just other things I feel more like doing than writing. School is one of them (and a big one at that), but also just other hobbies. I'm the kind of guy who picks up an activity and gets so obsessed that I do nothing but that for a while, at the exclusion of other things...namely, this fic.
The story is by no means cancelled; I have essentially the entire thing planned out to a T, and indeed I have several thousand words of the next chapter already written. But I can't really give an ETA on when I'll start writing again. I can say that I'll probably have several chapters enqueued before I start publishing, to a keep a stream of content going for at least a while.
In any case, it's actually kind of flattering to see people still care about this even after this long an absence. That will definitely serve as motivation to get me writing again!
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Ah, real life, and i do understand the whole obsession thing, cause I have the same problem. It's just I've seen so many great stories here die because the author lost interest, I was just hoping this wasn't one of them.
it was three weeks ago but regardless; good to hear you're still breathing and is still planning on finishing this.
That was pretty freaking great. Gave me a whole new perspective to Twilight. Can't wait to keep reading!
Wow... Nice to see this come alive again! I had to brush up on previous chapters in order to remember what was going on, but it made for a pleasant evening.
Poor Twilight... Being shut out like that, and then finding that Dash is going to be in the thick of it. Poor Dash as well, as loyalty problems obviously don't sit well with her, and this surely is the start of one. An amusing collection of pony scientists with properly punny names... I think they're in over their dismissive heads on this one.
Looking forward to reading more of this story!
So i'm gonna need to do a re-read of this, but i want to ask first: are you planning to keep the story going now, or is it just this one chapter for now?
6484112 I'm in it to win it this time.
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Nice!
So, up to date again. I feel so sorry for Twi, and as usual we have the princess throwing out orders thinking about her plans, never considering that stuff might not go as she has planned if she doesn't consider whom she's pushing around.
Ouch, Celestia just made a huge mistake.
Twilight has placed the Princess on a pedestal, one that is now coming down because she won't talk to Twi. I can imagine this coming to a competition: if Twilight can solve the problem, then Celestia was wrong, thus the fifth axiom is wrong; if Twilight can't solve the problem, then not only is the third axiom flawed, but so is all of them, except the fifth.
Poor Twilight... It was a great deal of fun though to get inside her head and work through the problems she's facing along with her. I especially liked her struggle to contemplate that Fluttershy might already be dead.
I find this story to be simply ingenious.
There are so many possibility for stuff to happen, and all of them are awesome as far as I can tell.
Hope there will be another chapter sometime soon, because as far as i can tell ... shit will go down soon
(At least some of it will)