Sunsets. Forests. Picnics.
These were all things that Rainbow Dash had avoided consistently ever since that fateful day on Sunset Cliff.
She had never returned the feelings given to her by her best friend. She was that, and only that, until Sunset Cliff. Then she was that with an extra adjective attached. Dead.
But...what happens when Rainbow has to confront the death of her best friend head on?
What happens when Rainbow Dash finds out that Fluttershy's unrequited crush on her wasn't so little after all?
What happens when Fluttershy's final message finally finds its home?
Chapters (1)
I like happy FlutterDash not sad....
Wow. That was, really, really good. Nice work man, great read, I mean a sad story but man it was so well thought out. Well done.
That was beautifully well done. I really enjoyed reading that. Keep up the excellent writing!
Cancer. Why is it always mother bucking cancer? I feel the need to point out that just because you get cancer does not, NOT, mean that you will die. I'm also unsure as to how Fluttershy knew about the avalanche. Also, what was with the picnic basket with Twilight's name on it?
Typos I found and not typos so much as errors. You keep flipping tense from present to past. Now, aside from the sigh, "It was supposed to be just a dinner picnic" to "I looked down onto the basket as I'm flying, ready to peer inside. On it is a name written in curly text. Twilight Sparkle" should be past tense because you are talking about something that has already happened. The rest should either be present or you should just make it all past. The other error I found was that a few times you used the word "hand" instead of "hoof."
Now for the good part.
This is my kind of Flutterdash story: not too long and sad at the end. The only part I disliked was the cancer part, firstly because it is starting to feel overused in the fandom and secondly for personal reasons. Other than that, and the above errors, I truly enjoyed this story. A well-deserved like.
Keep writing!
Silver Moon
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I honestly just looked over the letter bit with the cancer. Meant to put 'terminal' in as an adjective, and my editor must have missed it. As in, Fluttershy got diagnosed when the tumor was too big and was told she was a dead pony walking. Honestly I just needed some slow killing disease as a motive for the picnic and putting in something like a brain aneurism or specific of that sort would have been a bit much and I would have dragged myself into more research. And, really, everyone knows cancer. If I had put something else, people may have been confused.
Thanks for the review, though! Another reason that the verbs may be off is because I switched this from second person to first person after I didn't like it. But I fixed the tense points you suggested, as well as the 'handwriting' thing. Haha, really? *mental facepalm that I missed that*
Thanks for the comment, though!
*Sigh* And It looked like today would be a good day... Now I'm sad.
I just read a clopfic before this, now I'm having the weirdest combination right now. I have a boner and I'm feeling sad. It's just plain weird.
Anyway, it's amazing and I love it!
(Is it wrong to use this in a fanfic where she's dead?)
Pretty interesting, but it's a little confusing. I mean how did Fluttershy know about the avalanche and how Rainbow Dash would fail to save her?
Don't cry don't cry dam it im crying
Nice job
Short, but sad and powerful. A punch in the stomach to Dash, and something much worse, but greater for the reader.