Loops 54
54.1 (Masterweaver)
Upper Crust trotted through the front doors of the royal palace, wife on his foreleg. Years of living amongst the nobility helped him keep his ecstasy from overwhelming the ponies around him, but he couldn't help a small smirk as he leaned into his wife. The Grand Galloping Gala, at last! After years, he had finally been recognized for his own genius and now he and his wife would what the hay was the princess wearing?
"All I know is pain," Celestia droned from behind her thick black bangs.
54.2 (Masterweaver)
"...and with her own humble talents, not only did this pony soundly defeat Discord..." Celestia paused. "Well... inebriate him, anyway..."
There was a smattering of laughter in the crowd.
"...but also! This pony mastered her own magic on a deep and powerful level, earning herself a place equal to me and my sister. Fillies and Gentlecolts.... may I present Princess Berry Punch!"
Cheers resounded throughout the hall as the mare emerged, waving at the gathered ponies. She leaned towards her companion for a second. "This still counts for the competition, right? I didn't mean to ascend, after all, this is my first time with wings..."
"Yeah, I'm marking this as a win." Twilight smiled. "You do realize this means you can't be in that club anymore."
"YAY MOM!" shouted a filly at the front of the crowd as she jumped onto the stage and hugged her leg. "YOU ROCK!"
Berry smiled. "...I think I can live with that."
54.1 alternate (Masterweaver):
what the hay was the princess wearing?
"Ahyck!" Celestia honked her red rubber nose. "Hiya kids!"
54.1 alternate (Masterweaver):
what the hay was the princess wearing?
"GREETINGS ORGANIC LIFE FORMS," droned the armored figure. "I AM DEFINITELY YOUR LEADER AND I AM POSITIVE TO SEE YOU."
54.3 (Kris Overstreet)
Twilight's first few minutes after Awakening were a bit of a blur, thanks to the pounding headache.
She'd just had her locket stolen- the locket which was the only thing she had to remember her uncle by. She vaguely recalled ranting dire imprecations of doom for the two thieves before the headache sent her to her knees. Then, before she'd had time to recover from that, she heard the bells of the town clock ring. She was late to work at the university, and the sheer horror of being late for anything- and even worse, late for work at an institute of higher learning- made her so frantic that she didn't stop to take stock of her situation until after Mister Tock had challenged her at the university gates.
Once the giant clank had allowed her to proceed, Twilight scrambled for Professor Beetle's personal lab, where she was the junior lab assistant. She reached for the doorknob, recognizing for the first time the four fingers and a thumb on the end of her arm. It had taken her a good ten minutes to realize she was human.
Specifically, she was a human named Twilight Clay. Her adoptive father Adam, a mute giant of a man, operated a blacksmithy, while her mother Lilith taught piano and music lessons. Professor Beetle had been her personal mentor for over a decade, ever since her uncle had vanished. She would have been thrown out of the college for lack of aptitude dozens of times except for his personal intervention... but, since Beetle was the man who ruled not only Transylvania Polygnostic University but the entire city of Beetleburg as well, nobody questioned his decisions too loudly.
Beetle had the Spark- the peculiar form of insanity that could impose itself on the laws of physics, twisting them, outright breaking them on occasion- but breaking them in ways which could be studied and repeated by the non-gifted. Sparks ruled most of Europa, and had done for centuries... which explained why much of the continent was a wasteland inhabited only by bandits, monsters, bandit monsters, and the occasional terrified peasant.
The Long War, it had been called- centuries of hereditary nobility and/or mad scientists fighting for dominion, for abstract ideals, or for the last slice of strawberry shortcake. All of which had finally, finally been brought to a stop when Baron Wulfenshy had knocked enough heads together to enforce his Pax Europa. Now, almost twenty years later, the continent grumbled in sullen resentment under his dictatorial rule... but, Twilight mused, even the current temporary armistice was an improvement over what had come before.
Out of what had come before there had been only a handful of true heroes, the most notable of which were the legendary Sparkle Boys. Heirs of a long line of truly evil and decadent bandit lords, they had gone against the family traditions and become true, noble heroes. Even after their disappearance stories and plays about their exploits, mostly fiction of course, rang across all-
Twilight's reverie came to a screeching halt. The Sparkle boys? Could it be a coincidence?
Of course not. The Loops don't do coincidences. Besides, the Lost Heir was one of the oldest tropes in the book.
Twilight Clay, aka Twilight Sparkle, grinned at the thought. Already she could feel things fizzing in the back of her brain as her headache cleared. Knowledge gleaned from uncountable Loops synergized with the information gathered from a broad post-secondary education in one of Europa's finest institutions for budding mad scientists. She could visualize exactly what had gone wrong with her previous clank. She could even see where she'd erred in making the clank in her pocket, the one she'd brought to show Professor Beetle today. She could imagine fifteen different improvements for Mister Tock, including a modular transformation that would allow for the giant mecha to divide into five human-piloted war machines.
With an effort Twilight forced her lips to close over her grin. I mustn't reveal myself too soon or too swiftly, she thought. A new Spark is a threat to the status quo. And if people knew the Sparkle Boys had an heir! Oh, the chaos and destruction and adventure that would result! No, better to wait until she was prepared...
... and then she'd show them.
And then she'd show them ALL!
With a supreme effort of will Twilight turned the maniacal laughter into a coughing fit. She composed her features into sadness and despair- the locket, remember the mugging and oh yes I will make them calm calm calm- and put her hand on the door. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't stifle the exaltation within her at the prospect of a lab, a new day, and a new world of infinite possibilities.
Today would be a great day... for SCIENCE.
54.1 alternate (Goldude)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
"I got this costume of myself from Pinkie Pie!" came a voice from a shoddily constructed hole in the Princess Celestia costume.
54.1 alternate (Jcogginsa)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
"What? Fire's in this year"
54.3 continued
Even after so more Loops than she could keep track of with a checklist, Twilight could still be shocked.
Professor Beetle was a very small smoking pile of flesh and bones in the middle of the laboratory floor, through a combination of one of his own beetle-bombs and a five centimeter box-end wrench.
Said box-end wrench still sat in the grip of one Twilight Clay, whose other hand had pushed the only daughter of the visiting Baron Wulfenshy to the floor.
It had all gone horribly, horribly wrong. Twilight had thought this Loop a silly, lighthearted mad-science world... or, possibly, she just hadn't cared while her brain was percolating with all those ideas. But Professor Beetle... well, as the events of the previous five minutes had demonstrated, he wasn't a good man as such, but he was one of the better ones this world had to offer. Even if he had tried to kill the young daughter of the overlord who'd just taken his city away from him, he didn't deserve death. He didn't deserve THAT death.
But when he'd thrown that auto-guiding aerial hand grenade at the Baron and his daughter, Twilight hadn't hesitated.
"How's his head?" the Baron asked one of the professor's former lab assistants, Mr. Glassvitch.
Glassvitch didn't need more than a moment to look through the remains. "Totally destroyed, Herr Baron."
"So he's dead," the quiet voice of the baron's daughter murmured.
"Yes. Permanently. A pity, that." The baron's voice was not so much weighed down with sorrow as toting a convenience-store bag of mild regret.
"A pity?" Twilight asked. "He threw a BOMB at your DAUGHTER!"
"A poor excuse," the quiet voice of the baron's daughter said accusingly.
"A poor excuse?!" Twilight could feel that mental percolation in the back of her mind again. "HE THREW A BOMB AT YOU!"
The jagermonster in charge of the Baron's bodyguard detail pulled an intact organ out of the smouldering mess of the Professor's remains. "Hey, I von't zay he vos SCHTUPID, but I ain't findin' a whole lotta brains in dis!"
The baron's assistant sighed. "Baron, may we leave now? My feet are sticking to the floor."
"HOW DARE YOU!" Twilight's glare swept across all the members of the Baron's entourage. "Because of your petty Spark power politics you just made me kill my TEACHER! And you're treating his murder like some sort of... of... of KITCHEN accident! Professor Beetle was a good man! The people of this city LOVED him! And when they find out what's happened here, they're going to-"
The percolation built and built in Twilight's mind, and then without warning it turned into a mental explosion of glass, shards ripping through her consciousness. She screamed and fell to her knees, holding her head in her hands, unable to focus.
When the attack subsided enough for her to understand words again, Twilight heard the Baron speaking. "Sergeant, walk the young lady home."
"Actually," the baron's daughter murmured, "I'd prefer to do it myself. If you don't mind."
"Gilly, are you absolutely sure?" the Baron asked. "Rumors must already be flying around the city-"
"Father, you've had me trained," Gilly Wulfenshy replied. "And if I can survive morning exercises with Bang, I'm certain I can survive a city under martial law."
"Pah," the jagermonster muttered. "Little Flutters? Protect herself? Schpent all dot time in Paris communing mit nature und dancink mit der fluffy critterz, iz vot I hear. Vot kind of trainink is-"
The hand that grabbed the jagermonster's wrist was small and delicate, but not gentle. Nor was the foot that swept the jager's legs out from under, the knees which found each kidney in rapid succession, and the arms which swept the sergeant in a perfect semicircle overhead to slam back down- hard- into the stone floor.
"... hokay, pretty goot trainin'," the jager gasped, a tone of respect now in his growl.
"Very well," the Baron said. "But hurry straight back. We must put together a plan for the administration of the city, now that Beetle is gone."
Once they were out of the gates of the university and out of earshot of the Wulfenbach guard clanks, the young Wulfenshy said, "Thank you for saving my life, Twilight. But I could have taken care of it myself."
"I know," Twilight said. "But when it comes to a split-second decision, I'll always defend my friends. Even friends I've just barely met."
"Have you been in this Loop before? I haven't seen it, but you've been doing this longer."
"This is a new one for me, too." Twilight looked around her at buildings not much different than Ponyville's, though with narrower streets, paved with cobblestones. "And it's not turning out to be a very nice one so far."
"It has its moments," Fluttershy said, "but it plays for keeps. You were about to go into a full Spark rant, weren't you?"
"Don't remind me," Twilight replied. Her head still hurt a little.
"Don't ever do that around my father. Here I'm Gillian Wulfenshy, sole heir to the dictator who rules more than a third of Europa directly and keeps the rest too scared to do anything about it. I Awoke this morning in the middle of morning exercises with a sky pirate captain who thinks a day's wasted without at least one fresh corpse. And she's on MY side. There's worse than her around."
They stood in front of Clay Mechanical, Twilight's home. "Keep your Spark hidden as long as you can, Twilight," she said. "Because when people find out you have it, they're going to come for you. And you haven't got a powerful warlord this Loop to protect you."
"I'll be careful," Twilight said. "You stay safe too."
"Don't worry about me. You're not the only one the Spark has touched in this Loop. I'm sure we'll be meeting again."
54.1 alternate (Wing Zero 032)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
The peels slowly slid off Celestia as she gave him a maniac's smile. "Do you like... BANANAS?! Luna DIDN'T like them a thousand years ago!"
54.1 alternate (EdBecerra)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
"How would I know?" grumbled the monkey draped over Celestia's mane. "One moment, I'm in the zoo..."
54.3 continued
"Wake UP, Twilight."
Twilight vaguely remembered the sudden exhaustion that had overcome her after her adoptive parents in-Loop had left to prepare for their sudden departure. They didn't want to stay around with the Baron in the city... more to the point, they didn't want Twilight to stay around. She had been supposed to pack her things, but she'd felt so exhausted...
"I SAID WAKE UP!"
Something yanked hard on Twilight's hair.
There was a wrench in her hand. She used it.
"WHOA! Twilight, it's me! It's Spike!"
Twilight finally opened her eyes, slipping her glasses back over her eyes for a clear view. Standing in the middle of the garage was a wild-eyed youngish man. Except for the light green hair and unkempt beard, there was nothing that could set the man before her apart from thousands of other ex-military, mercenary or pirate crewmen- the old, slightly ratty uniform, the wild-eyed look, the whole package.
Then memory waved a file card at her. This was one of the men who had mugged her.
"How do you know that name?" she snarled, yanking her wrist out of the man's grip and brandishing the wrench for a second go.
"Ponyville!" he gasped, stepping back out of reach. "Library! Number one assistant! Loops and things!"
Twilight slowly got to her feet, forcing herself to relax a bit. "Sorry about that, Spike," she said. "Mind explaining what you were doing mugging me?"
"Sorry about that. I Awoke in the middle of that. My in-loop brother Omar was the one who took your locket."
"Where is he now?"
"Dead." Spike shook his head. "I know it's the Loop memories talking, but Omar was still family. We only had each other since the mech got... well... anyway, we only had each other. And he shouldn't have taken your locket, but he didn't deserve to die for it."
"Die? But that was just this morning. And Professor Beetle's dead, so how could he have had time to hold a court?"
"I'm guessing the locket killed him," Spike said. "He clutched it as he was dying, didn't let go until the end. I was so mad I threw it to the floor, and it shattered." He reached into a pocket and pulled out one piece. "That's when I noticed the name and address engraved on the back and put two and two together."
Twilight liked this Loop less and less by the minute. "I'm sorry about Omar," she said. "But I'm glad we're together... what's your name here?"
"Spike von Zinzer," he said. "Former mechanic on- what's that?"
Rapid thumping noise shook the ground as something very, very heavy ran towards the forge. Stooping through the open garage door came a steam locomotive on legs. It brought itself to a stop less than a foot in front of Spike and grabbed him in a metal claw. Almost instantly Spike pulled a lightsaber out of his subspace pocket and pruned the clank of its arm, but the clank didn't seem to notice. It simply leaned forward, shining its lights on Spike's face. The engine's bell dinged in happy recognition.
"Do you know something about this, Twilight?" Spike asked, lightsaber held at the ready.
Twilight looked at the engine... which looked suspiciously like the one Adam Clay had been working on when she'd returned from the university. She looked down at herself, clad in long Victorian-era undergarments... and covered up to the elbows in oil, grease, and soot.
Oh yes, and there was the wrench in her hand. The one she'd been sleeping with. That might also be a clue.
Sleepwalking was one thing. Sleep-engineering? That was a new one for Twilight.
Then the sleeping gas grenade hit the floor and released its payload, and the further adding of two plus two got postponed for a later date.
54.1 alternate (Kris Overstreet)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
"Nay, good Sir Crust," a voice emerged from over the ludicrous mass of crinkly neck ruff, "prithee approach the throne! Forsooth, we wish to proceed into the tourney, where Sir Dash and Sir Shy shall joust for Our amusement while we quaff large flagons of mead and ale!"
54.1 alternate (Zetrein)
what the hay, is that the princess?
"Shoo be do, shoo shoo be do!" Seapony Celestia greeted, from her giant fishbowl.
A certain apple mare then proceeded to run for the doors, screaming, "REPENT! REPENT! The end is neigh!"
54.3 continued
Castle Wulfenshy was a most fascinating place to be a prisoner.
Of course, Twilight Clay wasn't really a prisoner prisoner. The Baron had a whole range of categories for those he kept against their will on his flying capital. The lowest step on that hierarchy, of course, was "experimental subject." Somewhere in the middle was the group Spike had been shuttled into, "potentially useful Sparks." Between the steam-engine clank, the lightsaber Spike had failed to put back in his subspace pocket before the C-gas knocked him out, and a bit of fast talking by Fluttershy, Spike had taken Twilight's place in the Baron's eyes as an emerging Spark, with Twilight as his girlfriend. This had the advantage of putting Twilight on the very top tier of the prisoner hierarchy: "hostage."
Most of the other hostages where students or children, all her age or younger, some as young as three or four years old. Twilight had had a brief and tense meeting with their governess, a construct- an artifical organic being assembled from spare parts, lightning, and Spark-driven insane genius- who went by the name of Madame Von Cheer. Twilight didn't know if Von Cheer was Cheerilee Looping; their meeting was very, very much in public, and thus "in-character" for the Loop.
The cause of the confrontation had been Twilight's consultation with Fluttershy, or rather what happened after their conversation. Fluttershy had been trained in every form of mad science known, but her favorite branch of the science was biology. She'd created the second generation wasp eaters, weasel-like multilegged creatures who could smell out those infected by the mind control insects used by the Other during the time of the Sparkle Boys. She'd also created other things, including a squat construct in a trench coat and hat, with nothing but white floppy ears sticking out of their shadows. Fluttershy called it Angel; according to her, she'd made him when she was eight.
Fluttershy had also explained the main difficulty in escaping Castle Wulfenshy by demonstration- that is, she'd taken Twilight for an impromptu ride on the biggest, ugliest, scariest fruit bat Twilight had ever seen in her life. Twilight had never seen a flying mammal that seats six before. (Dragons, yes. Bats, no.) The three of them (the two Loopers and the bat) had circled the vast, improbable airship which was the core of the Baron's fleet, riding miles above the European countryside below. The escapade had ended with a crash landing through some very large windows into the middle of a meeting of jagermonster generals. The entire flight had been visible from the childrens' deck, and Von Cheer disapproved of the example Twilight had set.
Twilight had gone on to compound her example by joining a group of the older students, ranging in age from hers down to an eleven year old boy, to secretly look at the slaver wasp engine that had been the direct cause of the Baron's visit to Beetleburg. The group had used a lighting gantry to see the Baron and his scientists studying the immense alien device; unfortunately the group far outweighed the recommended load for the gantry's supports. Things began to come apart when the eleven year old saw something in the shadows and panicked. One of the large lights fell off the gantry, and in short order the whole group had scrambled for safety just a short jump ahead of the Baron's footmen.
In the confusion Twilight had become separated from the group, and now she walked alone in the service corridors of the mighty airship. She'd quite forgotten the panicky flight from the gantry, idly strolling down the corridors and staring in wonder at the infrastructure of Castle Wulfenshy. How did it work? What did all the valves and pipes connect to? Where on Earth were the lift bags necessary to keep an airship the length of a Star Destroyer aloft?
Twilight's mind had wandered so far from her body that it took several seconds to return when the body's progress was blocked by a dead end.
Her first thought, naturally, was, Where's the door? She looked back up the corridor, which didn't have a turnoff anywhere between where she stood and the entrance a good hundred meters or more back. Either the ship had some very sloppy and unsafe design, which she didn't believe for an instant...
... or there was a hidden door. With a hidden latch. Found. Click. Perfect.
The secret door slid open to reveal a massive shaft running vertically though the ship. It sat empty except for a figure wearing khaki clothes, a bomber jacket and an old style aviator helmet and goggles. A handful of locks of hair peeked out from under the helmet, each one a different brilliant prismatic color. Each limb hung in chains from a different mounting position on the shaft's walls, the shackles totally encasing the prisoner's hands and feet in chromium steel.
Apparently, Twilight mused, there is a spot on the Baron's hierarchy of prisoners below "test subjects."
"Hi there!" the prisoner chirped, looking as confident and smug as if the two of them were seated at a Parisian cafe. "So, you're the Baron's long-lost daughter? Well, you've come just in time."
"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked. "Is that you in there?"
The smug smile vanished, replaced by a suspicious stare. "How do you know that... wait a minute. That hair. Is that you, Twilight?"
"Twilight Clay, that's right," Twilight nodded. "Don't use the other name. It'll cause trouble here."
"Sure would!" Rainbow agreed. "So that makes you the Long Lost Heir Seeking to Reclaim His or Her Throne! Even better!" The smug smile was back, and Rainbow actually managed to lean in a casual manner in her chains. "So, mind springing me? It's not that I need the help, as such. I am a hero, after all. I'll always find a way out."
Twilight paused to consider. If she released Dash, where would the wingless Looping peagsus-turned-human escape to? She'd seen that getting off Castle Wulfenshy was no simple thing. "Hold that thought," she said. "You know who I am this Loop, but who are you, exactly? And what did you do to get the Baron to lock you up so... thoroughly?"
"I'm glad you asked," Rainbow grinned, and out of nowhere an umpah band struck up a jaunty tune.
Rainbow sang:
The world today is gloomy
All woe and sad and doomy
And the prospects for improvement are quite dark
It gets worse every season
And I think I know the reason
It's the fault of everyone who has the Spark
So pardon my exposition
As I tell you of my mission
To free Europa from this tyranny
By removing every Spark-
Twilight interrupted:
You can't mean EVERY Spark!
Rainbow nodded and replied:
Yes, I mean it, every one- including ME!
The chains which had held Rainbow spreadeagled loosened enough for her to strike a dramatic pose for the chorus.
For I am Rainbow Tryggvasen, Aviatrix Adventurer
The greatest hero ever known to man
If you think that evil can never be defeated
Well, Rainbow Tryggvasen surely can!
The fanfares faded back into standard umpah music for the second verse.
Where the people are in danger
I will never be a stranger
I will always come a-soaring to their aid
When the helpless cry in terror
The bad guys best beware, or
They'll learn the meaning of the word 'afraid'
Suddenly compartments opened in the shaft, allowing several serving girls and airmen to sing:
She's a fighter! She's a genius!
The peasants love her becaus
She makes the monsters and the madboys swear and curse
These hatches closed as new ones opened, each one revealing a mad scientist hard at work in one of the Baron's laboratories:
She's a nutjob! She's a pest!
She's a most unwelcome guest!
And if all of that weren't all, she's something WORSE...
The music stopped long enough for the scientists to groan:
... she's a HERO
The first set of hatches reopened, and servants and Sparks united for the fanfare-filled chorus:
She's Rainbow Tryggvasen, Aviatrix Adventurer
The fastest thing to fly the seven skies
We know it's impossible to be completely insane
But Rainbow Tryggvasen surely tries
At this point Rainbow interrupted, freezing the music with:
BUT!
The umpah quietly resumed.
Though dashing and chivalrous
Each tussle, scrape and roughhouse
Is a distraction from my glorious master plan
I've made quite productive use
Of my tragic twisted genius
And the results you can easily understand
The chorus from the wall hatches began humming in the background.
My designs are nearly perfect
Without a single defect
So I know that happy day is coming soon
When I round up every madboy,
Every Spark and all of their toys
And exile them by rocket- TO THE MOON!
And suddenly, still in her chains, Rainbow was right in Twilight's face, grinning with mischief and adventure as she said:
So... wanna join up?
She returned to her position slung in the middle of the shaft, her chorus singing along with her for the grand finale.
Join Rainbow Tryggvasen, Aviatrix Adventurer
The greatest hero ever known to man
If you wish Europa to be freed at last from evil...
Know that Rainbow, Rainbow, Rainbow, Rainbow
Rainbow, Rainbow Rainbow, Rainbow
The HUMBLE Rainbow Trygvassen surely CAN!
And on a triumphant fanfare punctuated by a single tuba blart, the hatches in the wall slammed shut as if they had never been there.
54.1 alternate (Goldude)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
Queen Chrysalis bounded up to Upper Crust, disguised as Celestia. Her cat ears twitched a couple times. "Can I have your autograph, Crust-chan?"
54.1 alternate (OracleMask)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
"Now that I think about it, the pink really does bring out my eyes," Celestia said as she looked over her new coat color in a large mirror.
54.3 continued
What do you do when an escape attempt from a flying castle, though no fault of your own, goes horribly and catastrophically wrong, scattering your friends to the winds and leaving you alone in a dangerous wilderness with nobody except the self-proclaimed Empress of All Cats?
Why, obviously you find a traveling circus and medicine show to rescue you. Of course.
And so Twilight did.
Oh, there were a few disputes about whether or not the circus dared risk harboring an obvious runaway from Castle Wulfenshy, but a sudden attack by autonomous mechanical scorpions and the swift application of a death ray Twilight had cobbled together from the wreckage of her airship lifeboat settled those disputes most amicably.
And now, as the rest of the circus roasted marshmallows around the burning remains of the robot bugs, five figures sat in one of the larger circus wagons, doors and windows shut so the conversation could not be overheard. Opalescence, the Empress of All Cats, might or might not have been Awake, but Twilight had already learned it's impossible to keep a secret from a cat that has thumbs and can speak the same language as you. Members three and four of the conference owned the wagon and ran the circus- Madam Trixie von Payne's Traveling Sparkle Show, featuring the incomparable acting talents of Krystalis, Landgravine of a long list of names which Trixie delighted in pointing out had all been wasteland for centuries.
"I actually rather enjoy this Loop," Trixie said, sipping her cocoa. "I mean, I love a big boom as much as the next mare, but I feel like this circus is getting back to my roots. I've been practicing my illusions a lot more, and since magic in this Loop is really weak without mechanical aids I've been learning more about props, too."
"And for me," Chrysalis said, "it's been relaxing not having thousands of voices in my head asking for orders, begging for help, bickering over the least little things. No hive mind, no responsibilities. I only have to boss one person. Her," she said, pointing at Trixie. "And in exchange I get to learn about imitating others without the use of magic." She grinned and added, "Of course, the alchemy does help."
Trixie being a Spark, a low-level one, hadn't surprised Twilight in the least. Chrysalis being a Spark was only a mild surprise. Learning that more than half the show were minor Sparks hiding in plain sight as hokey actors, charlatans, and song-and-dance people- show folk, in other words- had surprised Twilight quite a bit.
But then there was the big surprise- the fifth member of the conference, who was one of the circus members that wasn't a Spark. She was fairly lean, except for the spots of superfluous fat that the female human body seemed to insist on no matter how inconvenient they were. Aside from those obvious exceptions the woman was muscle through and through, an obvious fighter. (The pair of double-bladed swords strapped to her back were an extra little hint.) Her skin had a faint orangish tint with freckles on her cheeks, and her hair was an eye-twitching mix of green and golden locks.
"I reckon th' vacation just ended," Applejack Daughter of Chump said. "Gotta say, it's been fun havin' a purely physical Loop. I'm glad I didn't get stuck with that crazy egghead stuff like you all did. But all good things gotta end sometime." She leaned forward towards the lantern and said, "So, what do we do, fearless leader?"
"I know what the Loop wants me to do," Twilight said. "I've heard three different Sparkle Boys stories since I Awoke. My adoptive parents told me to go to their capital, Mechanicsburg, where the castle would help me. And when we first met, Trixie mentioned that you were traveling to Mechanicsburg. You don't have to trip a hoof on the train rails to know they're there."
"Well, are we still going to do that?"
Twilight frowned. "Believe me, I've been seriously considering derailing this Loop and going to Paris to learn all I can about the technowizardry of this world. But Fluttershy had a point. She told me that Sparks, and especially female Sparks, are walking targets in this world. I'd be spending the entire Loop fending off attacks, kidnapping attempts, and all sorts of other stuff. That would be really inconvenient. I mean, all the interruptions!" Twilight tossed her hands in the air. "When would I ever find time to finish a book?"
"So, Mechanicsburg, then," Trixie nodded.
"I suppose," Twilight said. "At least I'll get some idea of what this Loop's baseline is supposed to be, if we ever get thrown into this world again. But I tell you, if this Loop doesn't shape up and fly right, I swear to Redwood I'm going to go full Eternal Twilight on this place, and if I end up in G3 or Eiken again, so be it!"
"Funny you should mention, 'shape up," Applejack drawled, leaning across the lantern and poking a finger into Twilight's corset. It went in a good ways.
Twilight felt a twinge of apprehension.
"I noticed you were lookin' a bit flabby there, in the fight against those robot critters."
Trepidation.
"And, y'know, it's three months' travel at least from here to Mechanicsburg."
Fear.
"And we'll be spending a lot of nights out here in the wilderness, with robots and monsters and bandits and all sorts of nasty stuff."
Dread.
"And here I am, princess from a lost city jus' chock fulla all sorts of martial arts trainin' techniques."
Panic.
"Don't eat too heavy tonight, Twilight," Applejack said, grinning a most evil grin. "Wake-up time is an hour before dawn. We've got a LOT o' trainin' to do."
As memories of other loops Twilight had spent trapped with martial arts geniuses swam through her brain, her only coherent thought was: Not again.
54.1 alternate (Crisis)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
"I'm a little teapot, short and stout..." Celestia sang.
54.1 alternate (Crisis)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
"The night... shall last... FOREVER!" yelled the sun princess dressed as her sister.
54.4 (OracleMask)
The sound of stampeding ponies wasn't unusual in Ponyville, but the usual timing of it caught Twilight's attention right away. She and her friends had handled Nightmare Moon a few days ago (it was Pinkie's turn to defeat non-looping Nightmare Moon, and her plan had somehow resulted in the redeemed Princess Luna having to eat her way of an enormous caramel flan). All six had agreed on a baseline loop, and that meant Twilight knew for a fact that the next stampede wasn't due for days.
"The orange! THE ORANGE!" cried the stampeding ponies as Twilight went to see what the problem was.
It was a little obvious: a utter horde of identical orange pegasus ponies swarming the town. Twilight frowned: she knew who that was, and also she knew that he barking knew Equestria was supposed to be a sanctuary loop!
Naruto better have a really good reason for panicking all of Ponyville.
Naruto had a horribly good reason for panicking all of Ponyville.
As soon as the kage bushin spotted the sparks Twilight had sent up to get their attention, she'd been dog-piled and practically dragged bodily to where the original was waiting. She'd just opened her mouth to ask what he'd been thinking when Twilight found herself being desperately hugged.
"What happened?" Twilight found herself asked.
"It's...you remember back when the last Crash happened, right?" Naruto explained, "And how it got most of the loops a new looper or two?"
"Of course," Twilight replied, "We got three."
Even though they were talking, Naruto kept watch on their surroundings. It was like he expected something horrible to jump out and attack them any second. Twilight had never seen Naruto so on edge before...no, wait, she had. But not since the first time they'd met, right before they'd proven themselves as a sanctuary by using the Elements of Harmony to banish his teammate Sakura to the moon.
It gave her a terrible sense of foreboding.
"Three? Lucky you," Naruto said, "We only got one - Inari-chan was really surprised a loop as old as ours got any newbies at all."
Twilight nodded, though at the same time she went over a mental list of villains from Naruto's loop. Surely having one of them start looping was the reason Naruto was so tense. Which one, though? One of Akatsuki? Or maybe Madara? Whoever, it was, it had to be someone really -
"And while Inari-chan was busy telling me we finally, finally had a new looper...Sakura found him first."
Twilight instantly discarded her mental list.
"Mulberry," she swore, "Is he..."
"Look for yourself," Naruto answered grimly.
Naruto pulled a copy of Harry's invisibility cloak off a pony standing behind him, and Twilight's heart sank. The pony in question was standing upright, but his eyes were vacant. Whoever it was, their body was perfectly healthy but their mind was definitely not at home.
The silver mane, mis-matched eyes, and scarecrow cutie mark just made the sight that much worse.
"Put the cloak back on," Twilight said, as gently as possible, "We'll take him back to the library, and I'll see what we can do."
54.1 alternate (Misterq)
his mind shut down as he stared at the thirty identical Princess Celestias bouncing off the floor, walls, and ceiling like toy rubber balls; each one was grinning and chanting 'Fun! Fun! Fun!'.
Slowly he and his wife backed out of the large entry door and gently closed it shut.
"And let us never speak of this day again," He told his wife, who just nodded enthusiastically.
54.1 alternate (RedshirtZombie)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
"It's a Discord-fur coat, feels just wondrous on those nights when things get quiet." responded Celestia, to the unspoken question.
"And no animals were harmed in its making!" said the coat, with a wink.
As the guards carried the latest fainted fops out of the room, Celestia smiled her preferred omnibenevolent grin. "This may actually be an interesting gala, for once! Even if it's smaller than usual."
54.5 (Crisis)
No one was quite sure how Eden Hall and its owner/Anchor Sasakura Ryuu kept ending up in the massive fused Loops where numerous Anchors were in attendance, but there were no complaints whatsoever. Right now, those Anchors present were engaging in one of their favorite pastimes.
Embarrassing the heck out of each other.
"And here's 'Rapid Hooves' on a date with my friends Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy while they weren't Awake," Twilight grinned, showing a picture of an extremely nervous stallion being kissed on each cheek by both mares at the same time.
"It was weird," Ranma insisted. "They both decided they liked me and they were civil about it!"
"Power of friendship Ranma-san," Twilight kept grinning. "What did you think would happen when you saved a horde of endangered bunnies using superhero-grade feats?"
The original Anchor just buried his head in the table and moaned.
"That's nothing!" cheered one Monkey D. Luffy, Anchor of the piratical One Piece Loop. "Wanna see my pictures of Naruto when he looped in as one of my crew?"
Everyone's attention was riveted. Luffy's crew was famous/infamous across the Loops for the ridiculous adventures they had and the ludicrous battles they always ended up involved in. Luffy was one of the few loopers in the multiverse who had fought Bobobo and liked it.
But before Luffy could start, the door to the bar opened and everyone present immediately conceded the embarrassing photo contest.
Kyon, the Anchor who generally rode herd on Haruhi and her home Loop, had arrived.
Not that this would stop the stories from being told, of course.
54.6 (Masterweaver)
"...so for some reason, the sorting hat puts me in Hufflepuff! Hufflepuff, of all houses!" Trixie rolled her eyes. "Luckily, Harry was awake and he ended up in the same house. And, well, the long and short of it is we ended up conquering magical Britain within two years."
Chrysalis snickered. "I can believe it. So, what about... you two?" She turned to the couple sitting across the table, managing to keep from flinching. "Any fun Hogwarts stories?"
Shining Armor pulled his ears back. "Oh, no..."
Cadance snickered. "Ooooooh yes. See, when we looped in we'd replaced Ron and Hermoine--"
"Ahem..." An oddly nervous pony trotted up to the table. "I... hate to interrupt, but, ah--"
"Right, right." Chrysalis sighed. "That. Don't worry, I've already laid them, Mandible." She wrote something sown on a slip of paper and passed it to him. "That's the code, and remember it's the blue chest with green filigree. Trixie, you don't mind if he visits the wagon without us?"
"Nah, it's cool." The showmare leaned back. "Just don't raid the pantry."
Mandible nodded to both of them. "Thank you, my queen. Good day, miss Lulamoon... and, er, friends?" He glanced at Cadance and Shining warily.
"Don't worry, they're looping too." Chrysalis smiled, patting his head fondly. "Go on, then, you've got three weeks to watch over them before they hatch!"
Trixie shrugged as the drone went on his merry way. "I don't know if the hive mind thing makes the loops easier to explain or not, but it certainly makes your subjects more nervous then any pony I've ever explained it to."
"I think it's because they can experience what I experienced, really understand." Chrysalis shrugged. "Anyway, what were you two saying about Hermoine and Ron?"
"Oh, nononono, stop." Cadance glared at her. "You laid eggs?! I thought having children was impossible in the loops!"
The changeling queen blinked. With a sigh, she brought a hoof to her forehead. "...Thirty three thousand, six hundred, fifty three."
"What?"
"Barring any deaths, ponies that are secretly changelings, or other swarms that exist only for one iteration of Equestria... That's how many changelings there are in my swarm by the end of a loop. Thirty three thousand, six hundred, fifty three." Chrysalis met the alicorn's gaze. "Sometimes some of them are neoqueens or actual queens, sometimes they're all mindless automatons following my commands, sometimes they're converted ponies. But in the end, they generally all have the same names... or numbers, if the loop likes, as they've always had. I'm not having new children, Cadance. I'm only having children that the loop already says I would have had anyway." She sighed. "I feel it's best to get it all out of the way near the start, but things got in the way this loop."
Cadance blushed. "Oh. Um. Sorry, I just thought... you know, that you'd found a loophole or something, and me and Shining could..." She trailed off, rubbing her foreleg awkwardly.
"Honey..." Shining Armor nuzzled her gently.
"No, it's... it's okay. I can handle this..." Cadance took a breath. "It's not forever. Just a very long time. I'm good.
Trixie and Chrysalis shared a look as the two had their moment, each trying to silently ask the other what exactly they should do or if maybe they should just leave or--
"So!" Cadance said a little too brightly. "You and, uh, Mandible huh?"
The changeling queen shook her head. "It's not like that, it was just a simple mating meeting... haven't you ever wondered why they're all called drones?" She rolled her eyes.
"And..." Shining gave Trixie a look. "You're okay with this?"
"Hey, Chrysalis is a shapeshifting erovore who happens to be the queen – in the insect sense – of the entire swarm." The showmare shrugged. "I've accepted that she has a social and biological obligation. Heck, sometimes I join in."
Chrysalis nuzzled her marefriend. "Just remember, Trixie, that many drones and ponies have had my body but only two have ever had my heart. And one of those..." She gave Shining an embarrassed smile. "Well... you know."
"Awwwwwwww!" Cadance brought her forehooves together with a happy grin. "That is so sweet! I can't wait till you two get married."
Instantly Chrysalis and Trixie separated.
"What?!"
"Married?!"
"Us?!"
"No!"
"All that paperwork, and arranging the whole shebang--"
"I'd look gaudy with a ring on my horn--"
"And there's the whole part where I have to have drones in my bed--"
"And flirting with my audience gets me much better ratings if I'm single--"
"So, no, we don't want to end up in a loveless marriage," Chrysalis concluded.
"We'd much prefer a marriageless love," Trixie stated with a firm nod.
Cadance blinked. "But... it worked out so well for Spike and Rarity!"
"Who have to jump a few loopholes or hide their relationship from nonawake ponies due to the age difference," Trixie deadpanned.
"...Well, Shining and I are happy!"
"Didn't a swarm of shapeshifters invade and lock you in a cave?" Chrysalis mused.
"But... but... wedding!" The alicorn turned to her husband. "Help me out here."
The unicorn took a deep breath. "Honey... I think you may have a bit of an addiction."
"What? I do not!"
"So anyway, there we were, I'd replaced Ron--"
"SHINY!"
54.1 alternate (Goldude)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
Princess Luna looked down from her seat on Celestia's head. "Are you sure this is a good idea, sister?"
54.1 alternate (Wing Zero 032)
what the hay was the princess wearing?
They couldn’t describe the attire Princess Celestia was wearing because it looked a lot more like some kind of weird - looking conceptual art machine contraption that somehow was actually working. "Oh, do you like it? I'm wearing SCIENCE!"
54.7
“I see,” Twilight said. “So this Discord was one of your worst enemies, back when you were setting up Equestria as a country?”
“That's right.” Celestia nodded. “He did grave and terrible things to the ponies of Equestria, twisting them so their darkest traits consumed them, though my sister and I eventually defeated him.”
“And you're sending us out against that?” Twilight pressed, allowing a note of fear into her voice. “I'm a librarian! My friends, though I do love them, aren't the most stable of ponies – do you remember when I sent you a letter about Pinkie nearly going insane?”
Celestia blinked. “I... well, that is true, yes. But you and your friends bear the Elements, the only magic which can defeat him.”
“Do you want them back?” Twilight asked. “Seriously, I'm perfectly willing to give them back.”
“They are yours now, Twilight,” Celestia said. “I could not take them any more than I could take your cutie mark.”
“Well...” Twilight paused. “Okay. But I want some help.”
“Twilight, this is ridiculous,” Celestia said nervously. “Those are fillies.”
“If you'd seen the devastation they can cause with a makeshift hang glider and a pot of honey, you'd be hiding too,” Twilight replied, her voice muffled by the large padded bunker she was in.
Well, okay, it was a pillow fort.
“Ri-i-ight, let's see...” Scootaloo muttered, pulling back on her y-shaped sling catapult. “This time I'll get a cutie mark for sure!”
She released.
The shot cracked past Celestia's left ear at a little under the speed of sound, producing an impressive air wash.
“Whoops!” Applebloom said with a wince. “Uh, sorry, your princess-ship, we didn't see you there...”
“Though we're not quite sure how,” Sweetie added.
Twilight pulled the top of her fort aside. “I'd like you three to give us some help with a problem we're having.”
“Sure!” they said, not quite in unison.
Satisfied, Twilight tossed her head and beckoned them on, leaving Celestia looking dumbfounded at a hole in a tree for a moment before hurrying after them.
Thwack!
“Oh, woe is me!” Discord lamented, a comically large bump forming on his forehead. “I am bonked!”
With that, he collapsed and turned back to stone.
Celestia pointed. “But... but... what?”
“Thanks, girls,” Twilight grinned. “I was worried about him.”
The fillies exchanged a look.
“Cutie mark crusader deity bonkers, yay!”
Celestia visibly decided not to ask questions, and then vanished in a flare of light.
“That was hilarious!” Discord said, unsolidifying. “You're right again, Twilight. It is funnier to see her like that.”
“I think I know what I'm doing next time you, Luna and Chrysalis are all Awake.” Twilight nodded her agreement. “And you three, of course.”
54.1 alternate
Upper Crust trotted through the front doors of the royal palace, wife on his foreleg. Years of living amongst the nobility helped him keep his ecstasy from overwhelming the ponies around him, but he couldn't help a small smirk as he leaned into his wife. The Grand Galloping Gala, at last! After years, he had finally been recognized for his own genius and now he and his wife would be able to meet the greatest ponies in the land.
Princess Sparkle nudged her pupil. “Come on, Celestia, remember we have to greet the guests.”
She had considered wearing a floor-length jedi robe and a hat with corks on it, but decided against it. After all, they couldn't startle Upper Crust every time.
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Are we missing Chapter 53, or is 54 just misnumbered?
3813558
Publish button didn't take, and I didn't notice because of publishing three chapters on three sites. Should be there now.
Three chapters at once!?
...I'm going to be up 'till 3 am reading again, aren't I?
UPDATE: Read all three and it's only 2:30! Also, managed to wake people up with incoherent giggling.
Poor Kakashi.
3813786
I was.
"Work in progress"... does that mean there will be more?
3814582 As I find time; I had work this past weekend, which broke my string of writing.
Yay! Three updates!!!
3814616 Well, that's as much as can be reasonably expected. I am pleased
Candace has a problem. Someone really need's to have a talk with her about her obsession with getting people married.
3814121 Though wouldn't he be looping already? He is fairly close to Naruto after all..
.
Whoever it was.. just.. god... Sakura is scary...
3815741
Innortal does not like Kakashi; for whatever reason, Kakashi is never shown Looping in the Naruto Loops. Redressing this balance was deliberate by the author of that snip.
.... Now I'm imagining Ranma Looping into Xenophilia, and a relationship with a non-Awake Dash, Twilight, and Lyra. And also him having to deal with Awake Cadence.
The Girl Genius loop is pretty amazing.
Girl Genius? I love that comic! Pony Genius is going to be one that I'll keep an eye out for further down the line.
I hope Twilight manages to resuscitate Kakashi.
You are writing this faster than I have time reading it.
Don't we all love a bizarre scheme?
54.2:
So Berry up and Ascended. I wonder what the catalyst (requisite magical artifact of sufficient power) was. Did Slepnir leave a chunk of Cosmic Spectrum as a tip?
3817229 Maybe she made a spirit out of distilled Cosmic Spectrum?
3817229 I assume cosmic spectrum tumblers, because that way Discord can't just turn them into platypi. (Twilight, supplying the glasses, is trying to look innocent.)
3818204 He was so sure that grav wave hyperdrive plan would work, too...
Heh… I was first introduced to Girl Genius by the crossover fanfic: Mare Genius, which is sadly, unfinished… Though I recognized it pretty much as soon as I read the word "Spark". I hope this loop continues for a ways yet.
I am wondering if we've heard all there is to hear, about that loop on Earth where she's helping out, and annoying that X-Comm.
madmeanscientist at the same time.The sound of stampeding ponies wasn't unusual in Ponyville, but the unusual timing of it caught Twilight's attention right away.
Rule Number One as a weirdness magnet: Expect the Unexpected.
3818849
Stainless Steel Fox has an even more severe case of Creator ADHD than I do. He'll get back to it eventually.
...I hope.
Could someone tell me what Twilight Spark is a fused loop with? I'm not getting the reference, and every attempt to look it up has failed.
3821836
It was Seasons 2-10 of Firefly. Serenity was the admins' attempt to re-parse the fragments they had left over.
In all seriousness, it's less that it got deleted and more that the hardware where it was stored got formatted.
Sounds about right. And that's a fight I'd love to see. Rubber versus nose hair. Who ever wins, sanity loses.
I squeed aloud when I realised what Bloom's 'golden egg' was, which was about the time she started dismantling it. YES. Love the setting that came from.
3823568
Heh. It seemed somehow appropriate.
Just don't expect her to let Trixie even know of the existence of a contra-terrene device...
3824033 I can't even imagine Spike's reaction to Dragon. ("FOUR of me? And I'm WHAT?")
3831726
That's probably his middle name.
3841516 Oh, I know! But Honorverse is where I was introduced to him, so it's kinda my reference point. (And Weber did it first!)
3826064 Original intent was Galadriel, of course.
3821774
A comic called Girl Genius.
3866820
Well, each of them had made their peace with their families. (The afterlife in the Loops is "oh gods, I have a headache" complicated, but looping isn't terrible.)
3869787
It has an albedo of zero. No light which hits it reflects, and it is all absorbed.
This would only be significant in a room with no external light source, though, and rooms with no external light source quickly become pitch black anyway.
3859207 Yes, but Fluttershy specifically said she was present for that loop, and that she did not wake up during it. These facts would seem to be incompatible.
3878627
Not at all.
Twilight Sparkle (the one from the baseline) was there. She did not wake up.
There was another Anchor there, who was Awake, and not in Twilight's place.
For a similar example, see the time that the MLP Loopers (Twilight, Spike and Applejack) were in the Star Wars universe. The Star Wars Anchor's baseline version (Anakin) was there, and not Awake.
Twilight is not automatically Awake. AN ANCHOR is automatically Awake - for each individual loop iteration, there must be a minimum of one anchor present and Awake. It just so happens that for the vast majority of the loops shown here, that's Twilight.
54.3 what....... please tell me that this is another read only universe
3879699
Uncertain. If it isn't Read-Only, there's probably many who wish it was.
3882009 I don't actually see why it would be; I haven't read anything but the webcomic, but as far as I know there's nothing that involves time travel or multiverse shenanigans anywhere near the Loop-breaking threshold (which is what seems to usually get things RO'd). They don't even approach Star Trek levels, for oak's sake.
I will say, though, that until I got to the mention of Mr. Tock I thought it might be a Phoenix Wright variant-fusion, with Twilight as Trucey. Also, anyone know what Ranbowthar's song is based on?
I envy Rapid Hooves, two mares who both like him, both are aware about it, and CIVIL!
54.3
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES*fryingpan*
(Now to actually read it)
4819834 Demopan?
4328672
Huzzah! Consensual bigamy is how one gets all the girls!
GIRL GENIUS!!!
Its a good feeling to recognize a lore from only a few sentences in.
5379048 It truly is a great feeling.
The silver mane, mis-matched eyes, and scarecrow cutie mark just made the sight that much worse. Oh... Oh no.