Loops 53
53.1 (Masterweaver)
Applejack trotted through the orchards, humming to herself as she examined the trees. Normally Apple Bloom would be here too, but ever since she met those two new friends of hers she'd been off crusading for her cutie mark or... something. Honestly, the strange words pouring out of the filly's mouth were almost incomprehensible, and if it weren't for Twilight assuring her that yes, her sister was actually talking about science, she'd have had the foal sent to the hospital. Still, it was good to know she was finally expanding her circle of friends; even if she stayed on the farm, Applejack would never have wanted her to be a distant member of society that only talked to the trees.
Not that there was anything wrong with trees. It was just... ponies were social. That's how Things Worked.
Her ears perked suddenly; an odd whirring and grating sound could be heard from... somewhere. "What in tarnation...?" She turned, walking briskly after the noise and wondering what could possibly be causing it. Some sort of cart? A winch? Maybe an injured animal, she'd have to get Flutter...
...shy...
Her jaw dropped at the sight of three strange suits of armor, awkwardly walking in circles around one of her trees.
"...um." Applejack swallowed. "Hello there... sirs?"
The earth pony suit turned its silvery visage to her. Without warning the face folded back and in- "Heya sis! Sorry, we're still getting used to this."
"A...Apple Bloom?" Applejack boggled at the tiny head sticking out of the thick armor. "What are you... what is this?!"
"Oh... these. Right, these are armor modes of our intelligent devices. Got them round... Nightmare Night."
"...Intelligent Devices...?
"It's a long story." The young filly rolled her eyes. "Short version, soulbonded. So me and the girls decided to practice working through the Robotic Armor and Partner mode. Don't worry, we're just walking around for now, nothing major."
"...soulbonded."
"Eyup! Oh Sweetie Belle, watch out for that--" Apple Bloom winced as the unicorn tripped up. "...root. Dang it. Uh, sorry AJ, I think she forgot to turn on her mike again... I'll have to go back in and radio her." The metal scales once more enveloped her face, and she staggered over to the fallen silver figure to help her up.
Applejack blinked. Twice. Then, slowly, she backed away. Twilight would make sense of this. She knew about Nightmare Moon, somehow, she could probably explain all this craziness.
53.2 (Masterweaver)
"Wait wait wait," Silver Spoon (currently Silvana Spoonscale of the Lonely Mountain) managed. "You can all turn into alicorns?!"
"Mmmyep. It's not just something we can teach ya, though," Apple Bloom pointed out. "Even if'n ya were a pony and not a dragon, ya'd have ta... well, do something really special with yer cutie mark."
"And you can't force it," Scootaloo added. "Trust me, I tried a heck of a lot of things before Cloudsdale... it'll happen when it happens, is what I'm saying."
"Whoa." The dragoness turned to her pink friend. "Even you?"
In answer, Diamond Tiara produced a cosmic spectrum gem and Ascended, flicking her wings out as her mane transformed inton a bedazzling matrix of crystals. She posed for a moment... before shutting Silvana's mouth with a small smirk. "Yes, yes, I know I'm pretty."
"How do you get your mane to do that?!"
"Comes with being an alicorn." Sweetie flashed her own pair of wings into existence. "It's different for each of us though. Me, my mane doesn't look any diferent, but..." She shook her head and the sounds of a powerful orchestra filled the clubhouse. "Yeah."
Nyx rolled her eyes. "Now she's going to want to see all of ours, guys, and you know I don't like mine..."
Silvana shrugged. "If you're too embaressed, I guess we can skip it. For now." She turned to the other two fillies. "What about you guys?"
Scootaloo produced a horn and began trotting around the room, her mane willowing away in an invisible gale and forming patterns of wings and clouds. At first, the dragoness thought she would go bald, but then she realized that there always seemed to be more mane underneath the old one.
"Mine's a bit practical," Apple Bloom admitted as she joined the alicorn club, the red metallic tendrils and wires on her skull reaching out and grabbing some scrap. Within moments, they had transformed it into a small cog. "Who am Ah kidding, it's a lot practical! But it tends ta creep ponies out, so... yeah."
"Huh." Silvana turned to Nyx. "Are you sure you don't want to--"
"Actually, I replaced the Shadow Pony this loop." Nyx tilted her head and concentrated. "I wonder if that changes anything.... Oh wow! Bats and spiders, that's new!"
53.3 (Gym Quirk)
Twilight Sparkle was deeply ambivalent about her Coronation Day.
Or to be more accurate, she was ambivalent about the events leading to it.
When faced with a lonely baseline Loop that had progressed without significant deviation – if she didn't feel like bothering with the whole Coronation business, she'd have diverged from the baseline long before this point – and the delivery of a particular book shortly after returning from assisting the Crystal Empire in securing the Equestria Games, nine times out of ten she'd skip the cutie-mark crisis, wait a few days, then show up on the Celestial plane fully Ascended. Her explanation to the unawake Celestia would usually go along the lines of: "Well, I spent a fair amount of time pondering Starswirl's notes and consulting some other sources.” For some reason, she never mentioned that she had written several of those sources. "Obviously, the spell is a transmogrification matrix meant to re-apportion a pony's innate magic, and uses the symbology of the cutie-mark to..." and so on.
But taking the easy way out meant losing the songs. Chloroplasts and xylem, she still liked the songs. (For the most part: Her coronation hymn did get old fairly quickly...)
Yes, she had recordings. For that matter, the DVDs from the Hub loop were amazingly good covers of the originals; one of these loops, she'd send the vocal performers her compliments. But there was nothing like a live performance, and Celestia's singing was such a rare treat.
So that tenth time, she'd play the incident as straight as possible.
It was never as simple as that, of course. Variant loops would alter the cutie-mark reassignments. (Pinkie the weatherpony was a particularly odd version.) And there was that lingering guilt about having subjected her friends, even if unawake, to the stress of tinkering with their destinies to such an extent.
So here she stood on the balcony in her coronation gown with her reworked Element of Magic tiara on her head. Her plans for this loop required that she follow through with the ceremony after her public Ascension.
This time around, she'd even made ultra-definition holorecordings of all the songs in their baseline forms. She'd been hoping for the super-rare speed metal cover versions, but you took what you could get.
On reflection, her enthusiasm about the ceremony itself had also waned over the subjective millennia. She'd had limited success in changing the coronation hymn; her pull with Court Composer Treble Clef was negligible, so it took considerable effort to modify the official musical program. At least she could usually arrange for Rarity to make the coronation gowns, so Luna was seldom put in that maroon monstrosity: This time, Luna was wearing an elegant midnight blue number with turquoise and silver accents.
"Say something, Princess," coaxed Celestia.
But that didn't mean that she'd be giving the original "Luckiest Pony" speech. Point of fact, she almost never did after the first few times. Over the loops, she'd had the time to refine her thoughts and produce several different speeches employing tricks she'd picked up from the greatest orators in the multiverse. She usually stuck to the themes of her gratitude to Princess Celestia for giving her the opportunity to investigate the magic of friendship and her fortune in having found such wonderful friends. It still took many attempts to get the reactions she'd wanted; her first attempt at reworking the Gettysburg Address to suit the occasion ("Two score and seventeen months ago, Princess Celestia sent me forth to Ponyville...") had not gone over particularly well.
During particularly stir-crazy loops she'd experimented with diatribes against the institution of the Diarchy, reasoned arguments supporting a written Constitution to circumscribe the power of the Dual Thrones, satirical orations on the topic of anarchy...
And then there was the time she'd been struck with an irresistible attack of limericks.
Today was rather like that one. She had an itch that just wouldn't go away until she got it out of her system.
Some time before the start of the ceremonies, she'd hidden a compact sound system on the balcony. Stealthily, she triggered the pre-arranged opening bars of her melody. Luna and Celestia shared a startled look as something vaguely resembling a heart-song began to take hold. Twilight suppressed a grin and started singing.
I am the very model of a Princess of Equestria
(Though) my mane is not ethereal like Luna or Celestia
I'd begun investigation of the legendary Nightmare Moon
And prophecy suggested her return would take place very soon
The rustic town of Ponyville was set to host the solstice fest
My mentor sent me there to check that preparations were their best
With new-found friends I ventured forth into the forest Everfree
To seek out the location of the Elements of Harmony
Her friends had emerged onto the balcony behind her and took up the part of the chorus.
There was this reference book about the Elements of Harmony
To defeat Nightmare Moon we'd need the Elements of Harmony
So we went out to try to find the missing Elements of Harmony
They subsided to let her resume the solo part.
Within the ancient castle we did meet the Princess of the Night
With elements of friendship she was cured in arcs of rainbow light
So glad was I to reunite dear Luna with Celestia
I'm pleased to have restored a current Princess of Equestria
The chorus ended the verse.
So glad was she to reunite dear Luna with Celestia
She's pleased to have restored a current Princess of Equestria
The tempo slowed.
Now resident in Ponyville, my friendship research did progress
Distractions such as hungry swarms of parasprites sure made a mess
The Gala, grand and galloping caused expectations to inflate
(Poor Rarity discovered that Prince Blueblood was a horrid date)
Rarity put on an affronted expression. The others grinned.
Discord's escape wrought havoc on my friends; I thought I stood alone
Reminded of our common bond, we all transformed him back to stone
A royal wedding I was asked to organize; the bride was mean
To our surprise she'd been replaced by Chrysalis the changeling queen
Her friends smiled apologetically at Twilight as they took up the chorus again.
We didn't know that Twilight's foalhood friend was then a changeling queen
Poor Cadance was imprisoned by the vile conniving changeling queen
Combined with Shining Armor's spell, they forcibly removed the changeling queen
Twilight felt a growing sense of relief as she entered the home stretch.
The Crystal Empire reappeared to give Cadance a place to rule
Hooray for Spike, who saved the day; his stained glass window's pretty cool
And after doing extra magic research for Celestia
I'm now the very model of a Princess of Equestria
Now joined by the princesses, the chorus brought the song to its conclusion.
And after doing extra magic research for Celestia
She's now the very model of a Princess of Equestria
As she absently acknowledged the responses of her companions and the crowd, Twilight turned her attention to the next item on her mental checklist.
Right, she thought. That one's out of the way. Now to start working on how and when to do "Equestrian Rhapsody".
53.4 (LordCirce)
Twilight had to admit that she was looking forward to see how Fluttershy's new friend Link handled the battle with Sombra. Chrysalis had turned out to be Awake this Loop, so nothing had happened at that point, but the Crystal Empire had shown up right on time, and they had headed off to deal with King Sombra.
"Crys-tals!" Sombra flowed into the city as Candance's barrier fell. His dark gaze swept across the crowds of terrified crystal ponies, before stopping on a single, ordinary brown pegasus. The pegasus was flipping a small green crystal from wing to wing. Sombra started forward again, shadow sliding off of him. "Crys-tal!" Link smirked, before reaching back under his wing and pulling out...
Twilight almost fell over. Link had just pulled out an oversized Butterfly Net from under his wing. Fluttershy shifted nervously. "Oh dear." Twilight glanced at Sombra and then paused. Sombra was standing, transfixed, swaying slightly in time with the sweeping of the oversized net. Link walked forward, until he was right in front of Sombra, and he proceeded to whack him on the nose.
Sombra reared back, startled. His eyes focused again, and a dark bolt gathered on the end of his horn. The air screamed as the dark spell leapt towards Link. Sombra didn't have a chance to react as Link swung the net again, and the spell came rocketing back to smash into Sombra's face.
Twilight stared in shock at the twitching pile that had used to be Sombra. Somehow, Link had beat him with only that net, alternating between hypnotizing him by waving it, and playing tennis with every spell Sombra threw at him.
"H-how?"
Link shrugged, and Fluttershy giggled. "'What works, works. My world is kind of odd like that.'"
53.5 (elmagnifico)
Macintosh Apple watched the stallion slumped on the impromptu bar in the Acres' cellar guzzle down a glass of The Good Stuff. It was the third of its kind in almost as many minutes. Probably wasn't good for said stallion to be drinking watered-down cider at that rate, and that wasn't watered-down cider. However, after what the newcomer had told him was true, the poor guy needed few stiff drinks.
"So lemme see if ah got this straight."
The stallion raised an eyebrow and made a gesture indicating he wanted another cider. Mac considered withholding this drink, for the good of his customer. Who had apparently Awoken in a cold sweat on the outskirts of Ponyville, before being brought in by an uncharacteristically serious Pinkie Pie. He slid the requested beverage over to his customer as he continued.
"Every loop y'all is in, regardless of universe, th' universe itself seems to have it out for ya?"
The unfortunate stallion took a long draft from the cider, placing it half-full back on the counter.
"Yep. I've been thrown out of spaceships, tortured by some french guy, ripped apart by a negative reality wedgie, reset to factory settings as an AI, torn to bits by a werewolf, disintegrated, defenestrated, you name it, I've lived it, if not necessarily through it. Lately though, I've been getting run over by a traction city, blown up by a supervolcano, punched out by a burning dude, dropped down an elevator shaft by some idiot in orange power armor, had my elephant killed from under me by some girly elf, squished by a giant mechanical lobster, crashed into a redwood on a speeder bike, eaten by a giant snake, all kinds of weird deaths. Never seen a loop through to its end."
Mac began wiping out another tankard. Might as well have the next ready for when the rest of the current one disappeared.
"An' ye've tried to avoid it?"
The stallion nodded.
"I don't know what I, or some version of me, did to deserve it, but yes. If I know it's coming and avoid it, then another accident happens. No matter what I do, something always kills me."
Macintosh smiled. Being the bearer of good news was always nice.
"Hrm, ah'm not sure if Pinkie mentioned it, but we here in Equestria consider ourselves a sanctuary of sorts. If'n you want a break, Twilight and anypony else Awake, including mahself, will try our best to keep ya safe. An' we ponies are kinda durable folk, ah once saw Twi get smushed by ah full grand piano an' walk away just fine."
His guest sighed.
"I appreciate the thought, really I do, but I sincerely doubt a land full of colorful ponies can keep me safe from fate's caprices. It's just not going to happen."
Macintosh smirked, extending a foreleg.
"Y' just haven't been properly introduced to what we can do here. In any case, we'll do our best. Now, what'd you say yer name was again?"
The stallion perked up just a tiny bit, moving to shake the proffered hoof.
"Well, my horsey memories tell me I'm Buck Leaf, but you can call me Joe-"
Macintosh had heard something starting to creak at the word "Buck", causing him to look up at the ceiling where the noise had come from. Directly above Joe's head there was a crack in a support beam he swore hadn't been there the last ten loops. He barely had time to think "Fewmets". Before the stallion could finish introducing himself, Macintosh had flipped him over the ramshackle bar, and the ceiling strut had fallen, smashing the barstool and leaving a slump in the roof that was doubtless a huge depression in the room above.
"Applebloom, y'all been experimentin' with superheavy alloys in th' kitchin agin'? Y'all know y' ain't supposed to do that in the house!"
Applejack's voice was just barely audible in the now dust-laden atmosphere of the cellar.
Joe coughed.
"Maybe you should introduce me to that Twilight you spoke of."
Macintosh stared at the once-sturdy structural piece of Sweet Apple Acres.
"Eeyup. An' quick-like."
53.6 (OracleMask)
Twilight Awoke in the usual spot for a baseline loop: reading her book. If she hadn't glanced down, Twilight might even have been forgiven for thinking this loop was actually a baseline one.
'The Mysterious Missing Moon'? That wasn't the name of the book...
"None of thy light-loving ponies enjoyest my night? Well thou know what, forget thy ponies!" Nightmare Moon declared, "Verily, I shall make mine own ponies! With blackjack, and...and nightclubs!"
And so the Queen of the Night departed to her celestial orb, and it vanished into the dark amongst the stars. But on the longest day of the thousandth year, it is said she will return to show off her new subjects, demanding that all acknowledge 'whose ponies are better now?!'
Twilight would have kept believing Luna was playing a prank, up to and including hiding the moon, until the Summer Sun Celebration. She watched Celestia awkwardly greet her long-lost sister and several 'moon ponies' with a sense of bemusement: Twilight surely couldn't say she saw this coming at all.
Of course, Twilight made sure to take lots of pictures of the moon ponies, and even more of their moon civilization once tourism between Equestria and the moon picked up: she knew the looping Luna would love to know what 'her' subjects would be like.
53.7 (masterweaver)
"...Shimmery, but not showy. And the entire line is in the same adorable pattern! It works on everything from skirts to tops to shoes..."
Rarity smiled to herself as Suri went on her little schpiel. She'd mastered this particular fabric countless loops ago, and had been honestly surprised when Twilight first brought it up. Still, she couldn't deny how alluring it looked to the eye, and after hearing what should have happened in this expansion period she held herself back and played her role... with a single difference.
As soon as Suri finished her presentation, Rarity trotted backstage. "My my my I had no idea you'd use that fabric so masterfully! Your skills are surely beyond compare, Suri."
"Heh, weren't nothing for a designer like me." Suri smiled back. "I'm just glad you aren't angry for my little deception, mmkay?"
"Oh, no, why would I be angry? If anything I'm ecstatic!" The white unicorn turned toward the dresses and examined them, keeping Suri and her assistent in the corner of her vision. "I'm just so happy that professional designers are using my patented fabric."
Suri Polomore paled. "...patented?"
"Mmmhmm. Not only does it look good, but--ah, well, you probably already know, since you'd have to pay royalties to use this. I couldn't imagine a pony so cruel as to pretend she invented this wonderful fabric, the law would be on them in seconds. Luckily we're old friends and, well, it's not like you're claiming you made the actual cloth is it?"
"Ah.... well, about that--"
"She just loved the swatch you gave her," Coco offered quickly. "You should have seen how fast she made the dresses!"
Rarity glanced at her in surprise. The assistant maintained an innocent smile.
Suri blinked for a moment. "...ah... um...."
"I suppose I'll have to make a new line, though," Rarity said with a sigh. "Hmm. Solidified fire is always a crowd-pleaser, don't you think?"
"...I guess?" Suri fidgeted on her hooves. "I need to, uh, go check on something, mmkay?" She galloped off quickly.
Coco coughed. "Um... what's the royalty cost for, uh, using this fabric? If I may ask--"
"Well, with all these dresses it rounds up to about three bits."
The assistant blinked. "Wait... that's it? Um, I mean, I don't know if the payment went through, so here."
She pulled out her own bitbag and started to go through it, only for Rarity to stop her with a hoof and a smile. "Don't worry, dear, I won't press charges. But I think that whoever really designed these dresses should go solo. I have a friend in the theatre..."
53.8 (misterq)
It was early in the loop as Twilight pulled the Nightmare Moon legend tome off the shelf.
"Twilight! Twilight! I just had the bestest idea in ever!"
"Hi, Pinkie Pie," Twilight said calmly, once her heart finished racing. She put the book back on the shelf; in the same space that was very recently occupied by her surprising pink pony friend, "I'm not going to ask you why you are here in Canterlot, and in a secure area of the royal library, this early in the loop. What's your idea?"
"Weeell, you know how every pony has been all sad and down these past couple of serious loops? I was thinking when I remembered how much fun the crusaders have been having by playing with boats? So I thought we could all do something like that. I checked and saw that most every pony was looping this time around. And it would be so perfect!"
Twilight sat down on her favorite pillow and levitated a spare one for Pinkie, "So you want us to build boats?"
"Nope. Let the little ones play with their sea boats. I want us to build ships. Space ships! It will be so much fun!"
"You want us to have space battles?"
Pinkie nodded enthusiastically with a large smile taking up most of her face, "I figure we can take the same amount of time to build whatever class of ship we wanted. It would be two to a ship; a captain and a first mate. Then a massive free for all around the rings of that big old ring-y gas giant planet. It'll be a day full of explosions and space beams and missiles and fun!"
"That.. that actually does sound like fun. Once Nightmare Moon comes back, I'll let all the loopers know and see who wants to participate. I think Luna had something silly planned this time," Twilight stated.
"Awesome sauce-ome!" Pinkie happily hopped behind a bookcase. When she didn't come out from the other side, Twilight chanced a look. The pink pony was gone without a trace, as usual.
The dark mist dispersed and Nightmare Moon stood on stage, "It is I, Nightmare Moon. What am I? I'm an alicorn princess. Look at yourselves. You are not Nightmare Moon. Now what is that near your front hooves? It's moon rocks! Look back at me. I'm now Princess Luna, Celestia's younger sister. Look at your moon rocks. They're full of candy! I'm on a pony."
And indeed she was suddenly sitting on the back of her sister. Princess Celestia rolled her eyes in amused exasperation, although a faint smile was starting to show through, "Hello every pony. Please give a big round of applause for my little sister, back from her thousand year sabbatical."
Loud stamping greeted Luna's performance and gift of free moon candy.
After the sun was sent up by both alicorn sisters and the celebration wound down, the loopers were all told of Pinkie's spaceship battle party idea.
"So we have six months to make our ships from scratch. No fully formed ships from our subspace pockets if we have them. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle have agreed to officiate. Any questions?" Twilight asked.
No hooves were raised.
Six months later, the teams were formed.
"And that's the last of the pre-flight checklist," said Nyx, Twilight's first mate, "Our heavy cruiser is fully operational."
"Did you discover anything new about the others' ships, and how do you think our 'Lux Arcana' stacks up to them, Nyx?"
"Well, our space ship has really strong shields. A good amount of missiles and point defense systems, an overpowered spinal cannon, and a rapid charge jump drive – since you like your teleport trick so much, Mom. This is pretty much you in starship form."
"You helped build it, too."
"True, true. Well, apparently the others had the same design philosophy of trying to make a ship that resembled themselves. Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo made a light cruiser. I didn't peek at their specs, but I would guess that the 'Galaxy Runner' is fast, fast, and fast. And with those two at the helm, it probably handles like a lithe frigate – maybe even a fighter. So speed and manoeuvrability as the primary defense," The main screen suddenly showed an image of a sleek ship that looked like it was going fast while standing still.
"Rarity and Spike made the heavy cruiser 'Grand Elegance'. Other than being a work of art, it seems like it's a jack of all trades ship. Not weak against anything, but not fantastic in any particular area, either."
"Applejack and Big Mac grew their entry. The 'Apple Star' is a dreadnaught-class tree ship."
Nyx shuffled some data pads in front of her, "Speaking of living ships, Fluttershy transformed Angel Bunny into a war leviathan – cabbit mix. We checked, but there is no rule against riding around inside your first mate who is now a cruiser-sized spaceship."
"You think the transformation ability will stick through the loops?" Twilight asked. Having a violence-prone rabbit with a Fluttershy protective streak that can change into a huge spaceship whenever he wants to would be.. interesting.
Twilight's adopted daughter gave her a flat look.
"So that's a yes. Fantastic," the purple unicorn deadpanned.
"Moving right along, Trixie and Chrysalis seemed to have made a destroyer. I'm guessing that the 'Show Stopper' has some impressive firepower, because Trixie. I would guess it also has some nice stealth cloak or illusions or accidental self destruct or something along those lines. Because Trixie."
"Celestia and Luna have put together a cathedral-class battleship. The 'Solar Wind' has immense armor on the front. That unicorn horn lance seems to indicate that ramming is indeed an option with that ship. Plus, I would not want to be caught in a broadside alpha-strike from that vessel."
An image of a large pink ship appeared. Nyx continued, "Aunt Cadence and Uncle Shining Armor made a carrier, the 'Crystal Sentinel'. So tons of little flying heart-shaped fighters, I imagine."
"All the other awake loopers including Mayor Mare, er.. Ivory Scroll, Cheerilee, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon – or rather Silvertail Spoon, the deer; are sitting this one out and just helping commentate with Bloom and Sweetie."
"Which leads us to the most worrisome contender," Nyx switched the image on the main screen to show what appeared to be the unholy lovechild between a flying saucer and a big top circus tent. Then, a tiny little speck appeared next to it. Squinting, Twilight astonishingly realized that it was a relative size comparison between that monstrosity and her own ship. Nyx continued, "I have no idea how Pinkie Pie and Berry Punch made something that huge in the time we had, but there it is; the super-dreadnaught, 'Life of the Party'. No idea what it's capabilities are. Pinkie could have stuffed it full of engines, or weapons, or balloons, or something."
"Probably all of the above," Twilight sighed, "Well as a certain pink pony would say, let's get this party on the road."
Nyx nodded, "Engaging jump drive in three, two, one..."
With a brief violet flash, the Lux Arcana vanished from orbit.
"They're gaining on us!" Nyx shouted as she and Twilight sent their ship through a frantic variety of maneuvers. A sharp fly-by nearly scraped the paint off. One of the floating ice rocks passed far too closely. And there were many of them composing the ring around the large orange gas giant planet that dominated the view of the ongoing battle, "This is your fault. 'Let's engage Rarity's ship,' you said. 'It'll be easy,' you said."
"Not the time, Nyx. And how was I supposed to know her ship was practically invulnerable to everything we threw at it?" Twilight pressed a few buttons in near panic, "Stand by for emergency jump in three, two, one."
Just as it was about to hit a smallish-sized ice moon, the 'Lux Arcana' vanished and reappeared beyond the rock while still travelling at full acceleration. Rarity's and Spike's 'Grand Elegance' simply plowed through the moon, shattering it completely.
Beams lashed out from the tastefully designed warship and impacted on Twilight's shields, bringing them down slightly and shaking the two ponies inside the vessel.
"They're still coming. That didn't even slow it down much," Nyx looked down at her console, "Incoming communication from the 'Grand Elegance'."
"Open channel," Twilight said while continuing evasive manoeuvres.
"Hi Twilight," Spike waved from his chair, "No hard feelings, I hope?"
"None whatsoever, Spike. You're still my number one little dragon brother, but it's not over yet."
"Not until the fat pony has the heart-song," Nyx realized Twilight, Spike, and Rarity were all staring at her, "What?"
"Never mind. Close channel," Twilight shook her head and concentrated, "There, let's head towards that moon. It's big enough to hide in."
"Course changed," Nyx looked up at her adopted mother, "Um, do you think that moon kind of.. sort of.. looks like an apple?"
Twilight's eyes shrunk to pin pricks, "That's no moon. Release missiles. Stagger fire! Head back into the dense part of the rings!"
The apple-shaped moon unfolded like a flower and released a very large wooden tree ship.
"Yee-haw!" Came the sound of Applejack's voice over the comm, "Hope you all weren't hoping to stage this space rodeo without us."
"Eeyep," Big Macintosh agreed with his sister.
Twilight strafed her ship just in time to avoid a massive beam that originated from Applejack's tree-ship. Said beam instead impacted the chasing 'Grand Elegance', doing absolutely no damage to it.
Two of the missiles from the Arcana's barrage made it past the living ship's point defenses and detonated. Each massive explosion seared away numerous structural support branches. Then, to every non-Apple family pony's amazement, the missing branches regenerated right back before their eyes.
"Oh come on! Am I the only one with a ship that's not invulnerable?" the lavender unicorn shook her hoof at the ceiling.
"Incoming communication from Cadance!" Nyx announced.
"Hi there, Twi!" Cadance spoke up from her chair, "Looks like you need a little help. Just hold direction and acceleration vector and we'll be right there to help."
"Thanks, Cadence," Twilight aimed her ship towards the 'Crystal Sentinel' and charged her main weapon.
"What are you doing?" Nyx questioned through clenched teeth, "We have Rarity and Applejack bearing down on us. We need help!"
Twilight kept smiling at her sister-in-law on the screen, "One more thing. If you're in a carrier, where are your fighters? But just for old time's sake, let's finish the rest of the song. Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake..."
'Cadence' stopped smiling and shut off her view screen. Twilight's main cannon fired a staggering beam that lanced out and hit the ship supposedly coming to her rescue. The 'Crystal Sentinel's' image wavered before reforming into the much smaller, and now damaged, 'Show Stopper'. More worrisome was the wayward stealth torpedo that was detonated by chance as the beam glanced it.
"Emergency Jump in three, two, one!" Twilight frantically slammed her hoof on the button. The 'Lux Arcana' vanished right before several stealth torpedoes passed through the empty space where it had occupied mere moments before.
Seeing their primary target vanish, the torpedoes locked on to the nearest enemy signals. Several impacted the 'Grand Elegance' without too much noticeable outward effect, although something must have shaken loose as the cruiser's engines stopped accelerating and the ship continued to drift. The ones that managed to get through the 'Apple Star's' point defenses made far bigger explosions than Twilight's missiles. A full third of the huge tree-ship's superstructure started to come apart, only to be snatched by grasping roots and pulled back in to re-merge with the main body.
Trixie and Chrysalis had almost fixed their engines and illusionary cloak when their ship was suddenly hit by many rapidly fired beams and exploded in a grandiose fireball. "Former boaster has been busted!" Scootaloo cheered on the comm.
The 'Galaxy Runner' raced out of the fading explosion and did a purposeless barrel roll just for show. Rainbow Dash chimed in herself, "Hope we're not late for this little engagement."
"Not at all, dear. In fact, why don't you have some fabulous door prizes," Rarity spoke up as she launched a dozen long range missiles at Dash's ship.
"Now if that don't sound like a good idea. You can go ahead and have some of mine as well," Applejack launched far more of her own missiles. Most went towards the 'Galaxy Runner', but bolstered by the effect Trixie's super torpedoes had; some went towards Rarity as well.
"That's what I'm talking about!" Rainbow cheered as the missiles closed in, "What's stunt flying without a few obstacles? Scootaloo, you got this?"
While Rainbow's special talent was speed, Scootaloo was all about evasion. The orange filly spoke up happily, "No problem. I got this."
The 'Galaxy Runner' swerved up and towards the missile swarm, and then started making increasingly spectacular maneuvers. The ship seemed to be almost playing a friendly game of tag with the deadly projectiles, occasionally causing two or more to crash into each other or into the resulting explosion. Its point defenses firing only to put hopelessly outclassed missiles out of their misery.
Rarity's ship didn't fare as well. None of the explosions appeared to damage it outwardly, but neither did it stop drifting. It didn't help when a spiked teardrop shape appeared over the crest of one moon and fired a large red beam at the 'Grand Elegance's' engines – turning them into inoperable slag.
"Oh, I hope you don't mind too much, Rarity," Fluttershy said over the comm, "But injured prey is easy prey. No offense."
"No offense taken, Fluttershy, dear," there were small fires all through Rarity's bridge which Spike was attempting to extinguish, "I suppose we'll just have a closer look at this delightful planet."
Caught in its gravity well, the elegant ship continued to float towards the gas giant until it vanished into the gaseous depths.
Suddenly, the 'Lux Arcana' reappeared right behind Fluttershy's ship and fired its main spinal cannon. Unfortunately for Twilight, Angel Bunny's reflexes were faster and the large beam was evaded – if only barely.
"Are you okay, Angel Bunny?" Fluttershy asked. The floating crystal with Angel's face on it said something too softly for Twilight to make out. The librarian, however, did recognize the look that appeared on the yellow pegasus' face – as apparently so did Nyx. The little alicorn filly slammed a button and quickly shut down the view screen before she and her adopted mother could take the brunt of Fluttershy's stare.
Twilight took a brief glance at the tactical display as Nyx started chasing after Angel Bunny. The battle had moved away from the bulk of the rings. Most of the moons and other large obstacles were far from the action.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash were engaged in continuing their life-long friendly rivalry in space. The 'Galaxy Runner' was weaving in and out of the 'Apple Star's' structural branches, shooting any target of opportunity – which tended to just regenerate and grow right back into place.
There was a flash of light as the real 'Crystal Sentinel' appeared nearby. The carrier had seen better times, since its shields seemed severely weakened and parts of it were either missing or on fire. Dozens of drones provided a rapidly diminishing fighter screen from the source of their mother-ship's devastation. The slightly worse for wear battleship, the 'Solar Wind', was persistently dogging the carrier's heels. The ship's vast array of turrets were proving devastating against the fighters as they were set to emit faster firing but lower yield beams.
One of the battleship's missiles must have scored a lucky hit as the 'Crystal Sentinel' started to slow. A few moments later, the 'Solar Wind' impacted the carrier like a cosmic freight train. The enhanced shields held for a split second under the mass of the heavier ship before blinking out. The cathedral-like battleship passed inexorably through the burning shattered remains of the Sentinel, trailing streamers of burning fuel and atmosphere.
"Good afternoon, Twilight," Celestia appeared on the view screen, "I'm sorry your foal-sitter and brother blew up, but I do admit that this was a grand idea."
"Very therapeutic," agreed Luna.
Before Twilight could answer, the screen filled with static for a brief moment.
"What happened?" she asked Nyx.
The little pony was busy examining her console, "Apparently Rarity's and Spike's ship finally succumbed to the pressure of the planet's atmosphere. The 'Grand Elegance's' explosion sent a massive EMP burst and oh-oh..."
"What? What?" Twilight asked.
"I think the explosion woke something up. There's a huge shape quickly rising up from the planet's depths. Something massive," Nyx answered worryingly.
Twilight stared at a growing patch in the gas giant's atmosphere. Then like an enormous leviathan rising from the ocean surface, the circular hubcap-like form of the 'Life of the Party' broke through the cloud layer.
The star-base sized ship accelerated rapidly and interposed itself in Angel Bunny's path, flipping over to present the largest possible surface area to the panicking craft. The bunny-turned spaceship tried his best to evade, but ended up slamming into the dreadnaught like a gong. The living ship exploded, leaving a relatively small smoking crater.
Fluttershy and Angel – in normal rabbit form – appeared at a booth inside of Mac's bar, along with the faint smell of burning smoke. The yellow pegasus immediately nuzzled her friend and companion, "Don't feel bad, Angel Bunny. You did your best."
"Good Angel and brave Fluttershy. Your efforts, I would not deny," the zebra trotted over to their table with a cart full of drinks and snacks.
"You're working here now, Zecora?"
The zebra nodded, "With ponies in space, the position was free. I asked Macintosh why it couldn't be me. Don't feel too down you didn't finish the match. Watch with your friends and drink this morning's fresh batch," Zecora placed two glasses and a pitcher of carrot juice on the tabletop. Fluttershy thanked her kindly and looked over at the other tables.
Rarity, Spike, Trixie, Chrysalis, Cadence, and Shining Armor; along with all the other non participating loopers, were watching the large screens that showed the current state of the battle. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell were commenting on how Rainbow Dash must have gotten bored doing negligible damage to the Apples' tree ship and decided to take on Twilight. Only for Pinkie's vessel to suddenly micro-jump in Dash's path.
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo screamed as their view was suddenly filled with pastel colored dreadnaught. However, years of stunt flying had left both with lightning fast reflexes. The 'Galaxy Runner' pulled up, barely managing to adjust its course in time. It came withing a few meters of scraping itself to shreds on the larger ship.
The sleek cruiser shot forward until it cleared the outer edge of the 'Life of the Party', only to run into a full broadside barrage by the 'Solar Wind'. Scootaloo did her best, managing to evade many of the beams; but there were too many energy blasts boxing them in. The speedy ship's shields failed and it came apart in a shower of flaming debris.
"Huzzah!" exclaimed Luna over the general comm channel, "And you thought all those hours spent playing video games were wasted, sister."
"Not now, little Lulu. Something is happening on Pinkie's... are we on general chat?" Celestia's embarrassed image suddenly switched off.
"Energy spike from Pinkie's ship!" Nyx suddenly shouted as she tried to plot an evasive course.
"Head towards the 'Solar Wind'" Twilight said, adding, "I have a plan."
"Your plan had better be more than 'let's fly into the guns of a battleship', mom."
"It is. I just have to get the timing right," Twilight noticed how the filly was looking at her, "There's not much else we can do. Or do you think we can evade whatever central weapon that's housed in that giant pie-shaped thing?"
Nyx looked back at her console, "Heading directly for the princesses' cannons. Hope this works."
Indeed, the 'Solar Wind' saw a new target and turned to aim most of its turrets at the 'Lux Arcana'.
Twilight shunted all the weapon power to the jump drive capacitor, reducing the time needed to only half a second.
"Steady, steady," the unicorn spoke to herself. The battleship finished turning to face her. It was rapidly filling up her screen as she approached.
"Almost, almost," Pinkie's and Berry's starship had reddish energy playing over its surface like lightning, coalescing into a bright mass in the center.
"Emergency jump now!" Twilight slammed her console and her ship vanished in a burst of light.
Pinkie's immense energy blast shot forward in a zig-zagging lightning-like path, either absorbing or ignoring any of the battleship's turret bolts it encountered. It passed through the space where Twilight's ship used to be and impacted the 'Solar Wind'. Red sparks and immense energies played over the battleship's shields, occasionally reaching down and striking the hull.
A few seconds later, the 'Solar Wind' was still there, entirely undamaged.
"Sensors indicate no damage whatsoever," Nyx double checked her results, "Communication request from the 'Life of the Party'"
A grinning Pinkie Pie appeared on the view screen. Berry Punch was behind her, gazing at a console while sipping something from a crazy straw stuck in a huge glass. Several empty such glasses littered the floor around her.
"Hi, Twilight! Are you having fun?" Pinkie asked, "Do you like my ship? Do you?"
"It's very nice, Pinkie," Twilight answered, "By the way, what was that energy blast supposed to do?"
Pinkie giggled, "It's a surprise. Just watch."
The screen blinked off. Nyx looked at her tactical display, "The 'Solar Wind' is accelerating at Pinkie's ship. It's going to try to ram it."
Twilight nodded. She shunted power back into weapons. It looked like there was going to be at least one fewer ship soon, and she wanted to be prepared.
The battleship kept speeding up until it was almost at the much larger vessel. To Nyx, it looked like a dart approaching a dartboard.
Then Pinkie's ship jumped, revealing the repaired and tentatively nearing 'Apple Star' to be right in the path of the alicorn sisters' ship.
"They're not stopping or changing direction," Twilight stated, "What did Pinkie Pie do?"
The two ponies watched as the battleship collided with the larger tree ship dreadnaught. It smashed its way through the outer branches, slowing down until it finally came to rest near the core. There was a moment of stunned silence.
Then the 'Solar Wind' self destructed, the titanic explosion destroying the 'Apple Star' along with it.
Nyx finally broke the silence, "Er, mom? Didn't one of Pinkie's recent loops have her as Radical Pinkie, hacker extraordinaire? I think, I think she just brute forced her way into the 'Solar Wind's' computer systems. That blast was an AI in the form of an energy being. Not a very smart one, maybe parasprite level intelligence; but that is all you really need. Since it is an energy being, shields won't work against it. It's like trying to keep a pony out of your house when your door is made of salad. We can't ever let ourselves get hit by that thing."
"Agreed," Twilight Sparkle nodded, "Set a course for the 'Life of the Party'. We need to do enough damage to that subverter ray before it fires again. There doesn't appear to be too many point defenses on that thing. If only Cadance and Shiney were still around with their carrier."
Nyx shrugged as the 'Lux Arcana' spun around and changed course.
Apparently, Pinkie's ship wasn't out of surprises. Panels opened throughout the ship and let loose hundreds of multicolored balloon-like orbs.
"What are those?" Nyx tried to process what she was seeing.
Twilight realized what they were as her eyes widened, "Mines."
"Wait, if that ship has mines; does that also mean it has.." Nyx was preempted by a beeping noise. More panels opened up on the large ship and disgorged a seemingly endless stream of missiles. Another beeping noise, "Energy spike from Pinkie's ship. She's going to try to use the subverter again."
"That's fine, maintain course," Twilight announced. She was glued to her tactical screen as the missiles kept getting closer and closer. Then with a start, she spoke up, "Emergency jump in three, two, one, now!"
The 'Lux Arcana' blinked away from the incoming missiles and appeared on the other side of the Pinkie's ship. The 'Life of the Party' micro-jumped to face the other way. Just in time for Twilight to slam a button down and fire her main cannon.
The overcharged blast raced across the vacuum and slammed into the 'Life of the Party's' main cannon, right as it had gathered full capacitance. Right when Pinkie had briefly lowered her shields so that she could fire out.
The massive energies warred with each other before detonating in a titanic blast that shredded the massive dreadnaught and sent Twilight's ship tumbling.
Nyx lifted herself off the floor and looked at her display, "We did it! We did it! We.."
There was a beeping noise. Nyx stopped cheering suddenly.
"What was... " Twilight asked before looking at the view screen – as all of the thousands of Pinkie's missiles that survived their ship's destruction streaked through the dissipating fireball and converged on the battered 'Lux Arcana'.
"Oh." Twilight managed to say before suddenly finding herself and Nyx in Mac's bar. There was loud cheering and applause.
"Congratulations, you two! You managed to last the longest, so here is your prize," Discord slinked up to the two disoriented ponies and gave them each a big apple. On each of the fruits, there was written in edible ink, "Best Space Pony."
The lavender unicorn looked up at Discord questioningly.
"It's traditional," he smugly said.
Twilight just shrugged, smiled, and stuffed the entire apple in her mouth. It tasted sweet, like victory.
53.9 (Goldude)
"Now, Ahuizotl..." Daring Do slid the giant ring over her head onto her neck. "You know I love you, but I can't give you the ring until I've properly proposed."
A nearby tree squeed. Rainbow Dash, Ahuizotl, and Daring Do turned their heads over to said tree with confused and questioning faces.
A wild Awake Cadance popped out of the tree and enthusiastically skipped her way over to the fighting duo. Rainbow Dash double-taked. "The hay? Cadance, have you been following us?"
"I have. And it's a good thing! I very nearly missed a proposal! Go ahead. I'll wait."
Some awkward silence ensued. Ahuizotl cleared his throat. "We're in the middle of some business, insignificant-"
"Oh, I know! I'm just waiting until Daring Do proposes. Then you two can get married! Let me plan your wedding."
Rainbow Dash was left to hysterics while Ahuizotl facepalmed and Daring Do stared incredulously at the strange alicorn.
A Nonawake Fluttershy had successfully led Changeling versions of herself astray. She turned around only to be faced with four Rainbow Dashes. She winced and backed away as they were all about to converge on her. Suddenly, the Awoken Rainbow Dash grinned and quickly took care of the Changeling fakes. It was a good thing for Rainbow Dash that Chrysalis was not Awake. She and Twilight were the only ones this loop. Rainbow pleaded with Twilight to let this loop go Baseline until they get to the part where the Changelings were guarding The Elements of Harmony.
She considered it a personal challenge to be able to defeat The Changelings and reach The Elements, is the main reason she wanted this. It would show her just how much stronger the two of them had actually gotten.
Rainbow Dash offered a hoof the a cowering Fluttershy laying on the floor. It was accepted, and the blue pegasus helpfully pulled her Cloudsdale friend up, their lips very nearly coming into contact.
There was an explosion in the distance. Nobody really paid attention to it.
That was a bad idea.
Cadance was Awake and was plowing through the Changelings, making her way over to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.
"...Aww, I missed it. You two would've been great together."
Rainbow Dash was boggled. "...Are you serious, Cadance!? Now!?" She and Fluttershy were then tackled by ten changelings.
The crowd in Apploosa was gathered around the stage. Murmurs were scattered across from person to person. They were quickly cut shory as an Awake Spike played the first few notes in the piano. A nonawake Pinkie excitedly poked her head out from behind the curtain, eager to start her song. Things were previously discussed amongst Spike, Rarity, and Twilight about the nature of the song Pinkie Pie would sing.
The Awakened quartet had been made sure to bake enough pies for this plan to work. The curtains were pulled open and the clam Pinkie was in opened, revealing the very same outfit Pinkie wore each and every time she sung at this point in the loop. It's a mystery why she always ended up in that outfit at one point or another in Apploosa.
Pinkie Pie then began to sing.
♪Some of you may be tired♪
♪And many may moan and beg♪
As the first lines were being sung, Rainbow Dash's wings were extended. Suddenly, a pink light erupted from the stage with a loud TWOOM. When the light subsided, an Awake Cadance immediately took off and glomped Rainbow Dash, elliciting a surprised yelp.
"Oh, Rainbow Dash! I didn't know you felt that way towards Pinkie Pie! I can't wait for your wedding!"
"Wait, what?" was the only response Dash could make.
Twilight Sparkle crashed open the door. Cadance whipped her head towards one of Twilight Sparkle's Great Disapproval glowers. The Crystal Pony princess was frozen in action, a piece of chalk hanging in the air with a magical glow around it.
Twilight Sparkle slowly turned her head towards the wall. On it were a series of pictures of various pairs of ponies with hearts between them.
"...This needs to stop. Intervention time."
"But-"
"Buts lead to Eiken."
Cadance flinched. Twilight Sparkle wasn't going to take any of this.
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... I am Magical Trevor, and I approve of this message.
Hah! That's one obscure Honorverse reference...
Old Spice!Luna. Hell yes.
I wonder how Equestria survived without a moon to stabilize it and handle all the tides...
Loved how Suri got put in her place.
3814603 Magic.
I have hated that song since I learned it three years ago
It's so freakiing fast and starting out blows
And You reword it to fit in the loops
I hate you and your song writing troops
Though I commend you on the ability to rewrite the song
Just don't ever expect me to EVER sing along
~Black Sun Eclipse
They were quickly cut short as an Awake Spike played the first few notes in the piano.
3814019 *Grins* Obscure references are often the best ones.
53.8 Old Spice for the win. Which reminds me of our promo video for last year:
Looping conveniently explains how he appears in so many Baen stories.
The space loop reminded me, whatever happened to the XCom loop?
I was beginning to think Joseph Buckley was going to be Wilhelm (noted screamer).
3814019
Not just Honorverse. Having horrible things happen to Joe Buckley is a Baen tradition (see the last few FAQs here).
I must draw every single ship from 53.8.
I loved your version of the Modern Major general song, seriously, there ar so few MLP versions of it.
So Twilight and Nyx won the Space Battle, nice, I swear all those ships were based off of them in a way, Twilight's had an overpowered energy cannon and a fair amount of other weapons, a "teleport", Rarity's ship was deadly, but elegant and nigh indestructible like Spike's scales, Life of the Party is very big like Pinkie'¡s personality and able to pop up out of seemingly nowhere, yada yada.
That was when I figured out that 53.8 and the ensuing space battle would be awesome. And it was pretty dang awesome.
Wasn't disappointed- just terrified that Pinkie Pie got magical hacking skills from a fused loop with Cowboy Bebop.
53.5: Joseph Buckley, professional butt monkey.
Ouch man, that Baen-verse loop must hate his guts with luck,
Cadance syndrome?
I was hoping throughout the whole space battle pinkie would pull out an improbability drive.
I was hoping for a ship like that self-repairing robot in Worm
You had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.
short
That space battles one was great.
53.8: We need more like this!!!
This needs to be sung.
Freeman's Mind!!
X)))
Edit: what the hell? Why doesn't it show the video?!
6906871
Because you don't have the proper tags set up for it. This site uses [] brackets as designation for tags, which includes video links. The proper tag is 'url=webaddresshere' followed by '/url'. Both of those must be in [] brackets to work.
Another thing to note; if you don't put a phrase in between each tag, the site treats the address like any other link.
Hope that helps.
My little Cadance, shipping is magic
6996112 I wasn't typing it. I was using the site function. And not the link one, the Youtube. I may need to inform support of that one not working.
7151118 let's see if this works
Edit: There we go!
7369187 Huh, I'll test it later, when I get a reason. Still, I can't help but think of Farms when I see the "I am the very model". X)))
that made me laugh! Chrysalis made her and Trixie's ship look like Cadence's ship!
3841516 oh, Joe Buckley, i didn't get it until now! i remember him from "a hymn before battle", the whole team got buried in a collapsed building, so they used grenades to blow their way out, and Buckley lost a hand in the process...
and "reset to factory settings as an AI" happened in another John Ringo novel.
i just had to put this here:
heh. in one of the newest Legend of Zelda games, it's possible to mesmerize Ganondorf with the Fishing rod! makes it very easy to beat him.
oh, i just remembered a crazy fan-comic "when villain win" where Applejack got romantically involved with that changeling that knocked her down just after she said "ok, this is just gettin' weird."
oh, and then there was the silly story "do...you?" where the changeling that Pinkie told to "do me!" misunderstood...
I have the same problem. Seriously, I've lost count of how many ships I ship. Send help.
I recognize Star Wars and Atlantis the Lost Empire, but nothing else.
I am the very model of a Scientist Salarian.
11031379
The original is the Major-General's Song from Gilbert and Sullivan. Scientist Salarian and this one are both pastiches of the original.
One performance can be found here:
\m/FUCK YEAH\m/
No, no, no, Twilight, you messed it up! It goes:
There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and Rhenium
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium...
11215866
She's not the very model of a singer from the Ivy League
Whose lyrics are political at times and others merely tease.
11215898
I know, but it was just too good to pass up.
oh, i just remembered a crazy comic strip i read once, i really wish i could find it again, where, instead of fixing the spell, Twilight cast the same spell several more times!
this resulted in a bunch of one-panel gags, like Applejack lassoing a cloud, and Rainbow Dash making dresses!
and at the end, Celestia says, "drat, that's just what Starswirl did."