• Published 19th Apr 2013
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MLP Time Loops - Saphroneth



Twilight Sparkle has been here before. In fact, she's been here so often she's thoroughly bored. Time Loop stories for Equestria.

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Loops 41

41.1


“Okay, what.”

Trixie grinned. “Like it? It's art!”

Twilight rubbed her forehead with a hoof. “That's not art. That's a disaster slowly happening.”

Trixie's newest project sat between them. It was a metal framework about two lengths long and one high, with a cloud of finely-divided shrapnel and gas hanging as though frozen around the object inside it.

“But it's cool!” Trixie pointed. “See, the lenses have fired, and the compression wave should reach the neutron-reflective core in another few minutes. When it does, the whole of the plutonium will crash through fission in just ten seconds, and-”

Twilight eeped. She grabbed the whole device and threw it violently upwards.

“Awww...” Trixie raised a hoof plaintively towards the hole in the ceiling. “It took me weeks to transmute all that plutonium.”

Twilight sighed. “While your interest in explosives is normally merely dangerous, that was just stupid. But, more importantly-”

A star bloomed above for a moment.

“...yeah, that,” Twilight finished. “Pro tip: stasis enchantments set like that may slow down what's inside them, but the gamma ray effect of the blast destroyed the material on which the enchantments were set in the first place...”

Trixie's jaw hung slack.

“What were you planning to do with it, anyway?” Twilight added.

“...I really screwed up,” Trixie admitted. “Sorry, Twilight. And I had been planning on putting it in orbit in another few months, but... yeah, that would have gone badly.”

Twilight nodded. “I'm sorry, but you really kind of did mess up. Okay, I won't ask for a friendship report on this one, because Celestia might actually get violent if you tell her you nearly nuked part of the western desert. But I will insist that you use nothing more substantial than a Major Image for the next few loops.”

“Gotcha.” Trixie shook her head, shivering. Then she looked up, forcing a smile. “I suppose I have been relying on brute force a bit...”


41.2

“Ah, that's the stuff...” Spike sighed, finishing off the tumbler of crushed opal in water.

Just right to cool you off after a long, hot summer day. (Well, if you were a dragon, anyway.)

Rarity slid onto the stool next to him. “Hello, stranger.”

“Stranger still,” he replied, turning to her. “Did you escape the ravening horde, then?”

“Actually, they took themselves off to the lake. Something about going boating.” Rarity shrugged. “They should be fine, they took four sets of that armour I made – with the contingent teleportation spell.”

Spike nodded. “Good to hear. Hey, Mac? Something ponies can drink, large, and two straws.”

“Coming up,” Mac replied, getting to work.


“You four are just nuts,” Nyx said, shaking her head. “And how long did it take you to build these things anyway?”

“Not important!” Diamond Tiara replied. “Steam up?”

“Yep!” Apple bloom nodded, holding up a small stone. “Fire stone – they're used for camp fires. One large bag under each boiler, and they'll put out heat until tomorrow morning.”

As she spoke, steam indeed began to ooze up from the four vessels moored nearby.

Sweetie hadn't quite lied when she said they were going boating, when Rarity asked – but the more correct term would be shipping.

Or perhaps not.

“Right, mine is the Thunder Child,” Tiara said, stepping briskly to the gangplank and walking up.

The others spread out, heading to their own ships, and Nyx took to the air wearing a large striped referee's saddle.


Two hours later, as the sun hung past zenith over the deserted archipelago between Equestria and the Gryphon Lands, they were all in position. Each was at the corner of an imaginary square, ten miles on a side.

Nyx double-checked the cloud solidity effect on her referee's platform, then fired off the first spell.

On the bridges of four capital ships, the word “begin” drifted out of the air.

Sweetie's Ocean kicked things off, heeling over with the muzzle-horsepower of four 12-inch guns and six 6-inch guns as she fired a volley towards Scootaloo's Agamemnon.

Then things got quite loud, as all four battlewagons began beating the snot out of one another.


Nyx winced. “Ouch...”

With a bright flash, Scootaloo appeared next to her. “Aw, that sucks. Apple Bloom's totally cheating.”

“How so?” Nyx looked down, at the pillar of smoke marking Agamemnon's pyre and the other three huge ships dodging and exchanging fire.

“Her ship's faster than mine, better armed than mine, and I think she put more armour on it as well.” Scootaloo shook her head. “I saw some of my twelve-inchers splash off the armour.”

Sweetie Belle appeared in another flash of magic. She landed on the cloud, bounced slightly, and checked with her hoof that it was indeed solid before taking the teleport-strap off. “So much for mine...”

A loud bang came up to them.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo mused, as Ocean sank in two halves. “Looks like a magazine hit. That ship of 'Bloom's...”


Tiara's ship weaved through plumes of water and smoke, taking the occasional hit from the ten huge 12-inchers Apple Bloom was firing in broadside.

On the bridge, Tiara slammed the enchanted engine-room telegraph to full ahead, checked her positioning, and kicked the torpedo release control with a certain satisfaction.

Quick-firing guns depressed to shoot at the torpedo sprays, and Apple Bloom's Dreadnought turned to present a small target to them.

That was fine by Tiara's merits. After all, the only place where the torpedoes would miss was-


A final huge explosion rippled the cloud layer.

Both earth pony fillies appeared within a quarter second of one another, and landed in a heap.

“Who won?” Tiara demanded, wriggling out from under Apple Bloom.

Nyx frowned. “I think it was probably you, Tiara. I mean, Dreadnought blew up before Thunder Child – if only because you pierced the boiler with the ram.”

“Yes!” Tiara did a little dance. “Told you it was a useful design!”

“Yeah, yeah...” Apple Bloom huffed. “The torpedo ram is effective under the right circumstances.”

“Say it!” Tiara demanded.

“Fine...” Apple Bloom took a breath. “You sunk my battleship.”

Tiara made a squee sound.

“So...” Nyx took in the floating wreckage, the three pillars of smoke, and the sinking remains of the last two battlewagons. “Can we get this cleared up before one of the others comes looking for us, or do we hope that the loop resets and removes the evidence before someone notices?”


41.3 (TheCentauress)


The eight-limbed Spirit Animal trotted over to his Admin Console and looked at his stand-in. "'Zup?" he asked with a happy smile.

Bastet gave the approaching fellow Admin a hoof/paw/manipulating-appendage/whatever-bump. "Love the group you have here," she replied to him.

"Eh?" he enquired interrogatively.

The feline-leaning goddess giggled. "Well, see..." she managed around her mirth, "there was this thing... and then..." she gave up and pointed at the terminal.

The divine equine took a look and saw what was funny...


Twilight sat there, staring at her paws, trying to figure out what the fluff happened.

Spike hemmed, hawwed and generally tried to come up with anything. "Ah, you look good as a cat?" the youngling purple dragon finally tried, lamely.

Thank the Spruce he's Awake, at least, she mused. "I'm pretty sure this is..." she began before the Loop memories hit. "Urrrk," she added intelligently, "Great fuzzy yarnballs! Who made this Felinia? Housecats, Kittyhawks and PHASE-cats? Buh-wha?" The last was due to her own feeler-arms unwinding in front of her muzzle in her agitation.

Spike too one look and headed out the door. "If you need me, I'm going to be drowning my sorrows at the nearest Diamond Dog burrow," he muttered as the door swung closed.


Sleppnir looked up at Bastet and snickered. "Redo, but their morphic base being feline rather than equine?" He chuckled at her answering bobble-head nod. "Well, they do need to prepare for some of the 'odder' non-Eiken stuff, I suppose...”


41.4 (FanOfMostEverything)


Rarity had long ago developed a habit of acquiring samples of intriguing materials whenever she was Awake. As a result, the Carousel Boutique's basement boasted a rather impressive material science lab and a dwarven magma forge retrofitted to work with alicorn magic. (Also, the Boutique had a basement. A little sorcery went a long way.)

It was here where Rarity, in pursuit of a goal that had eluded her for countless Loops, discovered that Oerth adamantine and Earth-616 adamantium were far more different than their names would suggest. The former was a pure metal, but the latter was an alloy. Indeed, adamantine was closer to one of adamantium's ingredients, Vibranium. The two were still distinct from one another, and that was exactly what Rarity had been hoping to find.

After almost two weeks of near-nonstop metallurgy and countless formulae, Rarity produced a promising sliver of material. It almost sang with stability in her field, even when molten. Once it cooled, it had a curious ocean blue hue, and proved unmalleable by any force of less than continent-shifting magnitude. Thus, the mare proudly dubbed her creation "tectonium."

Still, it needed to be put through its paces. Rarity crafted a needle of tectonium and began the battery of tests she'd devised at the start of the enterprise. It went through titanium as easily as through soft cheese. It scratched a diamond like a stylus writing on wet clay. It could even be telekinetically hammered through both of its principal constituents and one of Spike's larger shed scales to boot, all with minimal wear and tear.

Rarity beamed. "It's perfect! I shall get to work straight away." She began focusing magic into the forge. She'd need much more than a needle's worth for what she had planned. "But it will all be worth it," she told herself. "It's sure to work!"


"Why! Won't! You! Work! You! Stupid! Thing!?" With every word, Rarity sent her creation careening through the air and anything else that got in the way.

As such, Shining Armor kept on the other side of his Canterlot office, well away from the mare. "Rarity, it really isn't important. I—"

"This is vitally important!" Rarity turned on the stallion, who realized too late how foolish it had been to draw her attention. "I will not, neigh, can not allow Equestria's sole male alicorn to present himself as anything less than the ultimate gentestallion!"

Shining sighed as he released his aura, his mane and tail reverting from impenetrable force to mundane hair. "So I can comb my mane like this. It really isn't—"

"It is the principle of the thing!" Rarity ranted. "Celestia does not subject her hoofmaidens to that pink mop of hers. Luna did not permit her mundane locks to remain any longer than necessary. Allowing your mane to be styled at anything less than its full regal splendor is a miscarriage of fabulosity!"

A unicorn-turned-alicorn mare was ranting at Shining Armor. He could be forgiven for trying to appeal to logic. "That only applies if I'm reigning Prince of Equestria, which has happened all of four times."

"And you need to be prepared for the fifth! But this useless piece of…" Rarity gave an incoherent scream and threw the tectonium comb at the window. It missed, but went through the wall with minimal speed loss.

Shining snared it just before it flew out of sight. "You're lucky nopony was in its path," he noted as his magic dragged the comb back at a more reasonable velocity.

Rarity sulked. "I just wanted you to look like a proper prince, is all."

"Well, if nothing else, you've made one of the most impressive alloys I've ever seen." Shining opened the window to let the comb drift back inside. "I don't suppose you'd take a commission from the Guard armory?"

This got a sigh. Rarity didn't even feel up to summoning a fainting couch. "No thank you. If you'd like, I'll give you the formula, but…" She groaned. "I was just so sure it would work this time!"

"Rarity, if nothing can get through my mane, I'm pretty sure nothing can mess it up, either."

"I've had bad mane days as an alicorn, Shining." Rarity shuddered at the memories. "Believe me, you will want some way of dealing with them."

Shining just let his aura come and go in response. "At least I don't have a pink mop."

Rarity did not snort at this. A lady does not snort when she laughs. And she had a row of very sharp teeth on hoof for anypony who might claim otherwise.


41.5 (bobnik)

"... to which I replied, 'The clothes aren't matter.' Of course, with my rusty grasp of Mayan, suddenly Cortez was faced with a nation of nudists when he arrived." finished Rarity.

Sweetie Belle fell off her chair laughing. When Loopers got together to play "What's the oddest...." the results were either hilarious, tragic or more frequently both.

"Your turn." said Rarity. "What's the oddest thing you've ever said that had the furthest-reaching effects?"

"Hmmm. Furthest-reaching? That would be the time I founded a sub-cult of a religion that lasted for ten thousand years." replied Sweetie. "Hold on a sec, I have to get in costume so you get the full effect." She hurried into one of the change rooms in the showroom area of Carousel Boutique, and Rarity felt the brief whisper of magic that meant her younger sister was using her subspace pocket. "So did you know I was Awake in the 40K loop when Pinkie ascended?"

"No, really? I hope you didn't get caught up in all that 'eternal war'." said Rarity.

"Of course not, didn't you hear? Pinkie Pie became an entity that didn't even have to pretend to obey causality. There was no eternal war. Sure, they started up and then BAM! Orbital party support, Eldar Disco Banshees, Shindigmonettes, the works. So in that Loop I was a Space Marine."

"Huh. Wait, aren't they always male? That must have been distressing."

"Well yeah. This was fairly early on in the loops for me, and the first time I was male, let alone an adult. Luckily they're all, well, chemically neutered. So I plain didn't have to worry about it." said Sweetie. Her voice became muffled, as if she'd put something on her head. "So there we were start of the Great Crusade. Me and my squad had been given some experimental weaponry and we were part of the pacification force for a world called Lestethes. We landed as per the plan, and started making a base camp, when the scouts report we're surrounded. Out from cover pops half a million Eldar, and Pinkamena Diane Pie, Festival Incarnate, Warp Goddess of the Eternal Party descended unto us from on high. Then they all yelled 'Surprise!'."

"Alright, yes, classic Pinkie. Even so, it must have been a sight to behold." Rarity made a circling motion with her hoof. "Go on."

"So there's this long awkward silence. The Space Marines of that time had been raised to believe that any alien always was and always would be their enemy. Pinkie's hair was just starting to straighten out when I decided I wasn't going to let that happen. I hadn't been to a Pinkie Party for about fifty years by then, and no way was I going to let this one get away. So I stood up out of cover, fired up the blastmaster, and yelled..."

At this point Sweetie burst out of the change booth, dressed head to tail in strange pink armour. It had giant shoulder pads, a huge amplifier on the back and a balloon motif repeated all over it. Sweetie reared up on her hind hooves and hoisted a strange guitar looking thing before letting loose her warcry:

"THIS QUIET OFFENDS PINKIE! THINGS SHALL GET LOUD NOW!"


41.6 (misterq)


"You are our trusted elites. As such, we have a trusted elite mission for you," said the tall green floating alien with the red eyes.

"It's a very important mission!" agreed the other tall green alien with the violet eyes that floated alongside the first one, "The important-est kind of mission."

"I hear and obey, my Tallests," Twilight said as her memories of this loop came rushing in. She blinked at the oddness of it all. A check on Elements showed that her friends were all awake, as well as Celestia and Luna. And they were all green aliens. Irkquestrians.

"To that end, we have crafted specialized SIR robot units for you all," said Tallest Cel, "Invader Twi, as my personal protigee, I give you this modified SIR unit, codenamed Spike. His specialty is FTL communication."

"I can also set things on fire with my plasma breath of doom!" A green and purple small metallic robot said as he walked in, adding, "I also eat shiny rocks for fuel. Just thought I'd mention that; hint, hint."

"Right," Tallest Lun said while staring at the odd robot, "The new modified SIRs may be a little... quirky, but they are fully functional. FULLY FUNCTIONAL!"

The royal Irkquestrian voice knocked every alien backwards.

Tallest Cel continued, unfazed, "Invader Jac, you get the SIR unit codenamed Winona. Specialty is tracking and guidance."

The orange eyed invader looked at her new robot. It looked pretty much like every other SIR unit. "Well, howdy, little one."

"Hi!" The SIR unit said in a high pitched eager female voice, "I can't wait to go on this mission. Maybe.. maybe I can even wear a doggy suit?"

Invader Jac nodded, "We'll work something out."

Tallest Cel motioned over the next elite invader, "Invader Rare, you get SIR unit Opal."

The all white robot sauntered in and looked over her new mistress, "What can you do?"

"I'll have you know that my weapon designs and invasion plans are the most elegant anywhere," Invader Rare huffed.

Opal nodded, "I suppose you'll do."

"Invader Shy, since you're so... timid, we've matched you with an appropriate SIR unit, codenamed Angel," the co-leader said.

Invader Shy was one of the tallest invaders - which was how they measured status on the planet – but her shy and caring nature was at direct odds to most of the other Irkquestrians. Still, she made for an excellent medic and science officer, "Oh my, he sounds delightful."

"His specialty is..," Tallest Cel was suddenly interrupted when a small SIR unit came through the door - as in ripped right through the advanced metal in a fit of rage. He landed in the center of the aliens, roared, and ripped out a chunk of the floor. He raised it over his head and shook it angrily before biting it into tiny bits with his jagged razor sharp robot teeth.

"I was wrong," Invader Shy said quietly, "He's even more adorable than I thought he would be!"

Said alien grabbed the omnicidal robot and hugged him in a caring, yet restraining hug while cooing over her new assistant.

"Invader Pie," Tallest Lun sighed as said invader appeared suddenly inches in front of her.

"Yesssss?" said the pink-outfit wearing blue-eyed invader.

"Here's your SIR unit, codenamed Gummy."

A small greenish robot walked out calmly towards his new mistress.

"Do you like parties?"

The robot just looked at Invader Pie. His large eye sensors blinked one after the other.

"Awesome! Let's have one right now! To the spaceship storage container bin hanger thing! Alien Space Party!" The two vanished in a flash.

"Right," Tallest Cel said to the last invader without a robot. She was hovering in the air as well using a makeshift jetpack that was attached to her backpack-like life support unit, "Finally, Invader Dash. You get the one codenamed Tank."

The alien leader pointed to the wrecked door. The aliens started at it as nothing came out. A moment passed. Then the wall next to it collapsed as a truly gigantic SIR unit strode in.

"He's... so... awesome!" Invader Dash exclaimed and zoomed towards her new assistant.

"Um, my Tallests! My Tallests! I have... a QUESTION!," Twilight spoke up while gesturing with one upraised fist. She was wondering if everyone in this loop was a giant ham, "What exactly IS our mission?"

"Oh, yeah. That," Tallest Cel said, "You see, a while back, we sent our most destructive invader to a distant dirt ball named Earth."

"We had hoped that the sheer amount of STUPID on that planet would contain him," Tallest Lun added, "Or at least keep him busy enough not to bother us."

"That's pretty much the definition of containment," Tallest Cel told her co-ruler.

"Yes, we know this. But even still, Invader... ZIM," the raw anger and loathing at the mere mention of his name was palpable, "managed to destroy a full quarter of our invasion fleet with an out of control MOTILE PLANET!"

"And even with such looses, it is still an improvement over what he did to our Operation Impending Doom one. So much fire. How crazy is that?" Tallest Cel asked.

"Pretty crazy," Tallest Lun answered, "Anyway, you six are our elites. So it is up to you to prevent him from causing anymore problems. Do it! Do eeet!"

"Right away, my Tallests!" Twilight hopped on a hovering Spike, and together they took off towards the ship hanger.

Tallest Cel looked over at her co-ruler, "This is a very strange loop. You think they have a chance?"

"Eh? Good question," Tallest Lun said, "but I don't care. I'm going to go eat snacks and play video games. Want to join me?"

"And have a vacation loop?" her co-ruler said happily as they floated too into their chambers, "You know it!"


41.7


“Please, Twilight?” Trixie begged.

“No.”

“Pleeeease?”

“No. And no to the next one!”

“But I have graphs!” Trixie brandished a sheaf of papers. “And calculations! And cited sources and everything!”

Twilight turned. “Okay, go on. Show me your working.”

“Glad to!” Trixie happily laid the papers on a nearby table and pulled up a chair.

“This is no guarantee that I'll let you, remember...” Twilight cautioned.

“Yeah, I know...” Trixie shrugged, shuffling the papers. “Right. Here we are. Step one: device scale.”


“...and finally, step forty-three: the shields are made selectively permeable, permitting target to drop from within the outer shield bubble to the outer world. After this, the remaining contents of the shield are launched on a trajectory straight to the heart of the sun.”

“Demonstrate the shield marked type IV, please,” Twilight requested.

Trixie flashed to Alicorn, her wand-device Element on her brow, and focused.

A bubble of darkness bloomed out from a point between them. Twilight directed a half dozen spells at it, followed by a large industrial laser and finally a lascannon.

None of them so much as got through enough light to see.

“Right. That seems adequate, so long as the polarization scheme followed in appendix c is followed.” Twilight nodded. “Anchor points?”

“Shield is anchored to itself, and treats the core of the planet and two nearby mountains as fixed points. The top of the shields are all slightly weaker than one another, ensuring that a vent would be along the line of least potential damage.”

“Okay.” Twilight took a deep breath. “Go ahead.”

Trixie's grin lit the room.


“...will last forever!” Nightmare Moon finished.

Trixie raised a hoof from the audience. “Hay.”

“You question your liege?” the dark alicorn asked.

“Yeah, just wondering... how do you feel about sunlight in a can?”

“This has been created?” Nightmare Moon looked a bit unsettled. “Demonstrate.”

“Since you asked so nicely...” Trixie levitated a large metal cylinder over. The top of it was peaked, and it massed about as much as a torso.

“How is this operated?” the alicorn queried.

At that point, Trixie activated some shield layers. Layers one, two and three were around the object at close range, enclosing it at a radius of about four feet.

Layers four to six were around the object, Nightmare Moon, and a little of the stage.

Letting her illusion fade, Trixie revealed her wings and shining Element. “A spark shall awaken them.”

“What? Treachery!” Nightmare Moon's voice came oddly muffled by the shield layers. “What sorcery encloses me in darkness?” There was a crackle. “My teleportation is hampered! Release me at once!”

“Don't look directly at the blast,” Trixie quipped. “Initiation of device in two, one...”

From outside, there was an almost anticlimatic flash, a little like a lightbulb burning out.

As per her meticulous action plan, the showpony allowed a badly singed Nightmare Moon to fall through the bottom of the shield before carefully disposing of the rest of the contents. In the sun.

“That, basically,” she said with a nod. “I've got fun size packs, too.”


“Out of curiosity, how are you going to make sure that an atomic artillery shell will still initiate around Discord?” Twilight asked, watching with some trepedation as Trixie refreshed a device core.

Inside an antiradiation shield, of course. Trixie wasn't stupid. Sometimes.

“Not sure,” Trixie admitted. “I did think of painting it green, because that way if it fails at least I'll turn into The Hulk or something.”


41.8 (misterq)


Twilight awoke next to Applejack as they both sat around a large utilitarian table. The gunmetal gray walls and sparse decorations indicated that they were on board a ship - possibly a spaceship or submarine of some sort.

"Well," Applejack said, "this all doesn't seem too bad, I recon. The memories should be retur.. oh, HAY NO!"

The orange pony's eyes widened even as her pupils shrunk. Twilight shortly knew why when the memories hit.

Her and the element of honesty were brought on as consultants. Apparently a new pony mining colony had stopped reporting in. Applejack was to check on the status of the terraforming process, ecosystem, and tectonic stability; while she was there to help if any other more esoteric problems show up.

They had just achieved orbit.

And the cause of Applejack's problems, the captain of the ship and leader of the contingent of marines, had just walked into the room - flanked by ten more of the armored marine troops.

The heavy armor somewhat resembled a mechanical centaur - with a large pony-style body with hard points that held an assortment of very heavy weaponry. The arms were long metallic tentacles that culminated in three long manipulator tendrils that could easily grasp around a pony's head. And in middle of the body, where the torso and head should have been; was a giant water-filled orb.

"Welcome all you happy campers," marine captain Sealight merrily exclaimed from inside her orb. Twilight could make out that besides the grinning captain, there was also a tiny little castle and fake treasure chest on the bottom of it, "I'm sure this mission will be so much fun! Two weeks ago, the colony of Oreagon 12 stopped sending out any news or progress reports, so Princess Celestia called upon us seapony marines to look into it. We also have fun ponies Twilight Sparkle and Applejack to help us find out what happened."

There was a chorus of wet splashing sounds as all the marines did the seapony version of applause. Applejack's eye started twitching. Twilight examined the captain. She was the same shade of lavender as herself, but her mane was pale pink in color. The unicorn wondered if the reason seapony armor had so many limbs was because, not having any of their own, the seaponies were fascinated by them.

The captain turned towards Celestia's student and continued, "Miss Twilight, can you please scan the colony too see how many ponies are there, playing a rousing game of hide and seek no doubt."

"All right," Twilight said as she concentrated on a scrying spell. The distance to the planet from the ship was no great obstacle for her, "Hold on. let me double check the results."

The results came back the same. Twilight replied sadly, "There's only one pony still down there."

"If you could, please bring that pony up to the ship so they won't be lonely anymore," Sealight requested.

Twilight nodded and one burst of teleportation later, a dirty earth pony filly was suddenly crouched on the table. A quick calming spell stopped the screaming.

"Hi there! What's your name?" Sealight asked, "Do you know what happened to all the other ponies?"

"Um, my name is Newt. And the other ponies... there were these horrible monsters."

"Righty then. High Tide, if you can please take our new friend to a sleepy room?" the captain waited until a yellow seapony in a giant robot suit led the little pony out of the meeting hall before turning to Twilight.

"Already verified," Twilight interrupted. Her last scrying spell revealed creatures which she had heard about, but fortunately, not encountered before personally. She still couldn't help but be upset at the fates of the colonists, "It's like she said. The place is full of horrible monsters. I don't think there is any way to befriend them."

'Without Fluttershy,' Twilight added in her own mind.

Sealight nodded and spoke into her intercom, "You all heard the little filly. Nothing down on the planet but horrible non-befriend-y monsters. The poor things must be tired of always crawling around in the dark and gloom. Let's give them all a little sunshine to play with!"

Twilight Sparkle and Applejack sat transfixed as a monitor showed a missile streaking down towards the surface colony before exploding in a titanic blast.

"Hah! That's it! Game over, for you!" gleefully exclaimed another seapony marine. The name tag read 'Suds on'.

"Don't worry, campers, a new game has just begun," Sealight said, "It appears this ship is full of happy sunshine missiles. And if we don't use them all this year, Queen Marina won't let us have new shiny ones to play next year. So we're going to turn this planet into a smooth glowy marble. Smooth marble planets are the best!"

There was a large amount of cheering from the seapony contingent.

"Well, I recon that since the planet don't have no ecosystem any longer, that my job here is done," Applejack stood up on shaky legs, "If you all need me, I'll be hiding in my bunk."

Twilight just sat and watched transfixed as the missiles rained down.


"Hello again, happy campers. Captain Sealight here once again," Twilight looked up from her book when she heard the voice over the intercom. She had been in her bunk for the last day, feeling the ship rumble every time a missile was launched. This was followed by the cheers of the seaponies - as if they were watching a giant fireworks show. Applejack hadn't left her locked cabin in all of this time.

"Our resident tactical science pony, Sea Star, has expressed some concerns that some of the space monsters may be hiding deep inside the planet and had not seen any of our shiny gifts. To remedy this, we have sent them a few planet crackers, delightfully wrapped and complete with a greeting card. If you look out your windows, you can all see how a new asteroid belt is made. This is captain Sealight, wishing every pony a super fun day! Shoo bee doo!"

"Shoo, shoo bee doo!" came the chorus of answering voices of the seapony marines.

Twilight debated whether or not to observe the spectacle. Since her friend's cabin was right next to hers, Twilight asked Applejack if she would watch, but all she heard back through the wall was a muffled, "Eenope. Nope nope nope nope nope."


"Shoo bee doo, all you happy campers," came the captain's voice from the intercom, "As you all know, we have spent the last week in this system by playing the super fun 'let's drag the largest parts of the former planet and toss them into the sun' game. But as all good times tend to do; this one has to come to an end for now. So with that, I'd like to announce that we will finally be leaving this place and heading back home."

Twilight thought she heard a faint "Finally!" from Applejack's cabin.

"So without further ado, 'The Sealaco' will be exiting the system going into hyperspace," Sealight's voice said, adding, "Right as soon as we blow up the sun. It's the only way to be sure. This is Captain Sealight saying 'shoo bee doo', every pony!"

"Applejack, are you all right?" Twilight worriedly asked at the wall dividing their cabins. But all she heard was faint muffled whimpering.


41.9 (masterweaver)


An alicorn, a showmare, a changeling, and a guard captain all went bowling together.

There had been a bit of a kerfluffle, of course, when Cadance had announced the idea. But she had gone on to explain that right now the relationship between her and Chrysalis basically boiled down to "I got him and you didn't" which wasn't healthy for either side, and that was on top of the whole.... thing, between Shining and Chrysalis.

"But why bowling?" Trixie asked.

"I like bowling," Cadance replied. "Not everything I like is about love and weddings."

So here they were, all in bowling shoes and ponytailed manes, studiously oblivious to the freaking out of the citizens around them.

"STRIKE!" Cadance shouted with a huge smirk. "Three in a row!"

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Don't count your eggs before they hatch. You just have an early winning streak, that's all." She took her own ball and slipped it down the lane, grinning as the pins went down. "See? Not hard at all."

"Well, this might actually be a challenge!" Cadance giggeld. "Shining, it's your turn."

"Yeah, yeah...." The stallion stood up, grabbing a ball and lazily slinging it it down the lane. "...A seven split. Okay, sure."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "You're not very good at this, are you?"

"Not really, no...."


41.10 (Indalecio)


Twilight woke as she normally did at the beginning of a loop in her room in Canterlot, but something was off. She took a look around as she waited for her loop memories to kick in. The most obvious was the honkin huge brass telescope she was perched beneath. Subtler details, like the Jakehoof's Ladder and Van Der Giraffe generator told her she was living, not in a library, but in a mad scientist's labratory.

In fact, it kinda reminded her of that one loop where everypony suddenly got interested in Contraptionlogy, only this time she wasn't a disembodied brain up against the Great and Powerful Robo-trixie.

Her loop memories confirmed it. One of her fondest memories had been when she had won a mentorship from Director Celestia herself with her egg laying machine. Granted, the fact that the machine had gone rogue and tried to eat the judges and her parents had been a bit of a dark spot, but it had turned out happily in the end.

In fact, one of the subjects of that memory was walking through the door right now, carrying a tray with a teapot and cups on it.

"Twilight, old bean, you're awake."

"Of course, I'm awake Spike, I'm always awake."

"That not what I saw earlier, when I saw you hunched over the astonoscope."

'So, Spike's not Awake this loop' She paused and continued speaking.

"Spike, can you take a letter for Director Celestia?"

"Right-o!" He moved to the single writing desk in the room and removed a piece of paper and grabbed a quill in claw, waiting for her to speak.

'Thats certainly an odd anachronism. Quill and ink, but mad science everywhere else.'

"Dear Director Celestia,

As you know, I've been observing the moon's surface these past few weeks and the increased activity there leads to be to believe that your sister plans to make a rather violent return after her 10 yr banishment. I humbly suggest mobilizing every able-bodied mare and stallion to meet her and whatever forces she's mustered."

You're faithful pupil,

Twilight Sparkle"

Spike rolled up the letter, placing it in a glass and metal tube and inserting that tube into a pipe, one of many that ran along the wall, where it was sucked away with a whoosh. A few minutes later, another tube returned through another pipe, somersaulting and landing in Spike's waiting claws. He opened the tube and unfurled the letter inside and began reading.

"My Faithful Pupil, Twilight,

I'm well aware of my sister's return, and have put in motion plans to counter her. However, for the moment, I'd like you to go to Ponyville and look over the preparations for the Summer Sun Conference. And for heavens sake, please try to make some allies there.

Your mentor,

Director Celestia"

"Well, I suppose that went as well as could be expected."


41.11

“O-kay, here we go.” Scootaloo kricked her neck one way, then the other. She itched to shake her wings out, getting them ready for what she knew was coming, but the dress didn't permit it.

“Whoa, Scoots, we're just bridesmaids...” Applebloom said. “And ah don't appreciate you getting' us all into this! We could be-”

Scootaloo cut her off. “What if we get a cutie mark from it? This is a thing to try I don't think we'd get another chance at!”

“Yeah!” Sweetie said, nodding. “It's not very often that ponies we know get married.”

“Right!” Scootaloo grinned. “So we'll be the best bridesmaids ever, so we get cutie marks for it!”

“CUTIE-”

“Sssh!” Rarity said, holding a hoof over her mouth. “We don't want to drown out the music, do we?”

“Sorry...” the trio muttered. Then Scoots cocked her head. “Hey, I can hear it!”

Sweetie nodded, her ears pricked to the faint strains of classical music.

Scootaloo hid a smile, knowing that Sweetie most often got her mark for music or music related things.

But it would be cheating to tell her.


“...speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Scootaloo perked up. This was about when things usually got interesting.

Mind Fog.

“Thanks,” she whispered to Pansy. The spell in question would keep her emotions masked, because from now on they might start to get suspicious.

You are welcome, the ersatz Device replied quietly.

About then, a large door at the other end of the courtyard exploded.

As flaming cinders and balks of gate timber crashed to the ground, the smoke eddied to reveal a unicorn wearing a cape.

“I object!” Trixie shouted.

“On what grounds?”

“On what grounds?” Trixie stepped forward, slowly and deliberately. “On what grounds?”

She gestured dramatically. “On the grounds of Canterlot Castle!”

“Technically,” Twilight's voice came from behind Trixie, “we're not actually on the grounds. This is surrounded by buildings which aren't the curtain wall and which are connected to the castle itself – so we're in the castle.”

“Despite the fact we can see the sky overhead?” Trixie asked, turning to face Twilight as she emerged from the smoke.

“Yep.”

“Well, that doesn't make much sense...”

“Was there a point to this?” Celestia asked, frowning down at the two unicorns.

“Indeed!” Trixie said loudly. “No fewer than seven! Firstly, and most importantly of all, this so-called fake knockoff Princess Cadence is Chartreuse. Everypony knows that the real one is a slightly duskier shade.”

“Do we?” several ponies in the audience muttered.

“I don't see it myself,” one donkey said, looking at the bride. “But then, how'd I know? I haven't seen her before.”

“I certainly don't know what you mean...” Shining said, glancing across the aisle then shrugging.

“Well, of course you wouldn't, you've been brainwashed, keep up!” Trixie slammed a hoof on the floor. “Second, which is an auspicious number, there is the matter of the hairstyle.”

As Trixie began a long lecture on hair stylage as it related to alicorns, occasionally interrupted by Twilight correcting her on a minor point, Scootaloo just began shaking her head.

“What in tarnation is goin' on?” Applebloom whispered. “How long do we have to hold this dress up?”

“Dunno,” Scootaloo admitted.

“Oh, dear,” Rarity said quietly from her bench near the front. The three fillies all listened intently. “I do hope Twilight gives up this silly notion of hers before the whole hour is up...”

“We might have to hold it for an hour?” Sweetie said, eyes wide. “This is the worst thing ever!”


“And thus, do I conclude that the nature of the magic of the alicorn known as Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is of the hue normally defined as 'pink', whereas the magic which has been witnessed upon this very day by my able compatriot Twilight Sparkle is a colour more normally known as 'green'.”

“Are you done yet?” Celestia asked, her eyes half closed. Most of the guests were snoring.

“Almost!” Trixie set off a spell which produced a loud bang, jerking the guests back to wakefulness. “Seventh and last, we found the real one in a mine.”

The smoke cleared.

Several dozen ponies started kicking themselves that they hadn't noticed how unusual it was for a dramatic smoke cloud to linger for a full hour.

And, through the wreckage that had once been a gate, stepped the real Princess Cadence.

Celestia stared. “You couldn't have mentioned that first?”

“I was having fun,” Trixie admitted. “Anyway. So. Imposter?”

Hundreds of changelings dropped shapeshifts.


“Okay, here we go,” Scootaloo said to herself as the wedding dissolved into chaos.

Set up. Fog cloud.

An instant fogbank bloomed around the three Crusaders.

“Stay with me, girls!” Scootaloo called, reaching out to the fog and gripping it with her weather magic. Then shaping it, so it compressed into solid objects.

Normally this would take one hay of a lot of mental effort. When she was Bronze Wing, the occasional Jewel Scouts loops, the most she could manage even with the fuku-armour was a weapon and a hoplon-style shield.

Of course, back then she hadn't had Pansy either.

Set up complete. Preparing to lock cloud forms.

Cloud compressed into a suit of close-fitting armour, then flashed yellow.

Locked.

A pair of shield, formed like bucklers and looking like they were made of bronze.

Locked.

And, finally, a two-length staff.

Locked and ready.

Rearing up on her hind legs, Scootaloo spun the staff around twice. Once at a low level, tripping two changeling mooks trying to close in on them. Then again, slightly higher, clouting them both on the head and knocking them senseless.

“Whoa!” Sweetie Belle and Applebloom chorused.

“Since when could you do that?” Applebloom added. “That's awesome!”

Crouching down, Scootaloo slipped her staff under a changeling's body barrel and lifted... it? Him? Bodily into a stun spell from the dense pattern weaving out from Twilight.

“A griffin showed me once – when you two were with your sisters, some time ago.” Scootaloo shrugged. “She was neat.”

“What, the cloud shaping thing?”

“Mostly.” Scootaloo intercepted a spell bolt headed for Applebloom, backing towards a corner with them behind her. “Hey, 'bloom? Punch any that get past me, okay?”

“Sure.”

Her staff glowed green, as a changeling got the idea to take her weapon away from her.

It disappeared in a puff of cloud as Pansy released the magic maintaining it.

More fog oozed from the Device, which Scootaloo quickly crafted into a shorter stick. With this, she clonked the enterprising changeling on the forehead.

“Sooo cooool...” Sweetie Belle said with glee.

In the distance, they heard Trixie's voice shouting something about “stun danmaku”.


41.12 (Stainless Steel Fox)

X-Communication


One explanation later, James was sitting there, rubbing his chin. "I see, you do have a problem. But why did you come to me? Not that I'm complaining. I like a challenge."

"I read your article on the Meta law board of the Space law forum, 'The rights of an alien.'"

The lawyer gave a lopsided frown. "But my conclusion was that a non-human, even a sentient being capable of everything a human is, did not have any rights under any legal code, because every code assumes that 'sentient being' and 'human' are identical terms. Basically, they are considered a wild animal, no matter what degree of intelligence they show. Weren't you offended?"

"The fact offends me, but it's a natural consequence of you being the only intelligent race on your planet..."

"Sometimes I wonder about that." James shook his head ruefully.

"Taking offence at you because you explained it in a clear and well thought out manner, that's just silly. It got me to researching your background. First from Cambridge, several years at Conham and Perks, one of the biggest and most prestigious law firms in your country, amateur science fiction writer and frequent poster on boards dealing with space law and metalaw... I just have one question, why leave to start up your own business?"

"Call me an idealist, or crazy," he grinned. "I needed time with an existing law firm to tick the boxes for my own professional development, but most of what I was doing was corporate legal work. I became a lawyer to help people get fair treatment under the law, not to help them figure out ways to evade it.

"There was this one case where an oil company was going to buy some second hand tankers that weren't fully up to modern operating standards, rather than springing for new safer ones. Ultimately it would cost them more in maintenance and operating costs, not to mention the costs of the inevitable accidents, but those wouldn't show on that year's operating statement, and affect the directors bonuses. Our job was to figure out how to limit their liabilities, basically ensure that when something did go wrong, they'd suffer as little as possible.

"Not that it was all like that, or even mostly, but there were a couple of times I really didn't enjoy what I was doing. So I put in my time, made contacts, did the best job I could, and left as soon as I could scrape together the money." He made a gesture around the room. "I don't make anything like as much money, but I sleep better at nights, and I get to help real people, rather than faceless corporations."

"The problem is, while I'm real enough, I'm not a person." Twilight pulled a high end tablet/laptop from her saddlebag and placed it on the desk.

"It's not going to be easy to change that, especially not in the current social climate... Where did you get that?"

"I bought it, or at least paid money for it. I should have said, I had some gold coins with me in a sub-space pocket when I was shifted here. I teleported into a bank vault at night and exchanged some for legal currency, then I went and did the same at various shops, listing and paying for what I took. It's not like I could walk up to the counter during normal working hours, I'd cause a riot. I mean, if I didn't have local money, how would I be able to pay for your services?" Twilight shrugged.

"That is still technically breaking and entering, even if you didn't break anything."

"I'm not a person, remember? I can do wrong, but I can't commit crimes. Just crossing national borders without the right visas or a passport is illegal. But no-pony asks a migrating bird for their papers. And I'm not on the list of animals that need a six month quarantine to enter the UK, so I'm good there too. Not that I intend to use the loophole to do anything immoral or hurt anyone, it's just in my position, I have to take advantage of whatever I can to accomplish my goals."

"And those goals are?"

"First, build a way to get home. To be honest, I could just squirrel myself away somewhere in the wilderness or on a near Earth asteroid and set up an alchemical forge to produce the needed materials without ever interacting with humans again. But my second goal is to help out. Partly it's because you guys need it, even without the recent alien invasion. Not that I'm saying what you've accomplished on your own isn't amazing, but there are ways I can help without detracting from that. Also, I want to prove to those X-Com guys and everyone that Equestrians are not like those invaders you've been dealing with. Aliens aren't automatically evil."

"However, without a legal identity you have one foot... hoof in a bucket." James mused as the tablet powered up. "I assume this has your - oh, yes the obvious solution. That's kind of embarrassing, after I railed at big corporations."

"Well, from what I've read, a corporate entity can be set up to any end, and is a legal individual. I was thinking two actually, a private limited company to manage business investments, and a non-profit charity to funnel the profits into worthy causes. Have I got this right?"

The lawyer looked it over. "Hmm... in rough, there are things I'd have done differently, and things you've missed out, but overall a good effort. You have legal training yourself?"

"As Princess Celestia's protégé I studied the basics of Equestrian law, and I did some study in university libraries and on the internet over the last couple on nights, but that doesn't make me a lawyer especially in human law. However, I should be able to follow what a specialist says."

She gestured to James with a hoof. Of course, she didn't tell him that she was a fully trained lawyer in multiple jurisdictions, because those had all happened in other loops and therefore didn't count. She'd deliberately held her input to what could be expected from a relative novice, including a couple of minor mistakes.

There may have been things she'd actually missed, too... common law precedent could get annoying.


Twilight and the lawyer discussed what she intended to do with the organisations she was going to set up, which they decide to call Nightlight Industries and the Nightlight Foundation. The tagline was 'Better to light a candle', and the logo Twilight had designed using the laptop's graphics tool was a stylised conical candle, which if you squinted looked a lot like a unicorn horn.

At the end James chuckled. "So Nightlight Ltd will be going into the salvage business. Oh, this is going to be interesting! I'll need around £50,000 to get things rolling. Thankfully, the registration fees for setting things up aren't too bad. Fortunately you don't need one of the expensive slots. I can get some more of your gold, or some smaller gems exchanged to cover it."

"How long will it take you to organise?" Twilight asked.

"A couple of days. I do have other work to complete, and i can't abandon my other clients no matter how much fun this project will be. However, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, almost everything can be done via internet forms. I can hand off the details to my assistants. Of course that will mean I'll have to tell them everything."

Twilight nodded. "That's fine. It's not like they're not already eavesdropping at the door..."

There was a thump and a crash, followed by a pained 'ouch'.

James' good mood evaporated instantly. "No! I am so sorry! They know better than break client confidentiality, and I intend to remind them of it. How did you... oh, some sort of spell?"

"Actually I didn't until the noises. But it was a logical deduction." Twilight giggled, then sobered. "Please, don't be hard on them. They were probably only listening because they were worried about you being in the same room as a monster from outer space. They were most likely ready to rush in here to rescue you at the first sound of trouble. Not that I can think of anything useful they could have done, but that just makes it more impressive. It's clear they consider you a friend, as well as a boss."

James looked slightly embarrassed at the compliment. "Yes, well... Let's go and discuss your plan with my overly protective employees, and get things moving."


X-Com had calmed down in the last couple of days after mission Bring Night, but it was a tense sort of calm. There had been no further alien attacks, and nothing more from their current bête noire, Sparkle. Despite their best efforts, they still hadn't eradicated the video of Sparkle from the internet, or the many derivations with everything from Guile's Theme to Gurren Laggan incorporating the footage. Even the debunking of it as a CGI publicity stunt hadn't stopped it, and Commander Benford had censured further action against the spa or the originator, Kimiko Mizuno, as the damage was done, and doing so would simply attract more attention to her and neutering what little effect the countermeasure had.

Currently he was in Command Central, looking up at the holo-globe, and wondering where in the world Sparkle was, and what she was planning.

"Commander, we've got a problem!"

One of the monitoring techs looked up and he immediately activated his headset. "What do we have?"

"It's not alien activity, at least not normal alien activity. NASA Orbital Debris Tracking reported it, and it's confirmed. Every tracked piece of debris within 1400 miles of Earth is moving, accelerating!"

"What about our satellites? The ISS? Are there any impacts?"

"Not affected, we've asked for reports from various other government and commercial tracking stations, so far not a single active satellite has been affected by this force, or hit by the affected objects. Only the debris, though we're getting reports that natural astrolites are affected too."

"Is there a pattern?"

"We're working on it!"


It was a tense half hour as the operations staff collated the data from the X-Com satellite net and dozens of other government and commercial satellite tracking stations, most of whom didn't even realise they were contributing to the effort. However, a pattern was emerging. Everything which wasn't an active satellite had been yanked out of it's orbit and hauled away.

The holo-globe now displayed the new configuration of the junk, and clearly showed a pattern forming. Doctor Vahlen was summarizing the results her teams had been analysing.

"Everything below the 1000 kilometre height accelerated upwards, and at peak velocity was making around 50 kilometres per second, exceeding solar escape velocity. Similarly the objects above were driven down at similar velocities. Only debris was targeted, and there were three detected cases where a piece of debris was likely to intercept an active satellite, only to swerve at the last minute to pass by in the lee of their orbital track.

"That alone would indicate some intelligent agency controlling events, one which is able to detect and control every object within two thousand kilometres of Earth's surface in real time. What happened next is even more disturbing. On approaching the 1000 kilometre boundary, all these objects did a right angle turn to head towards a single point in Equatorial orbit. What is more,they started to slow down as they approached the coalescence point, and appear to have accreted into a body estimated to be around eighty metres in diameter and weighing around 5000 tons, based on the estimated amount of debris in those orbits."

She shook her head. "Objects in space don't swerve, and they most certainly do not make right angle turns! I would suspect this to be some telekinetic trick of Sparkle's, except that I can not conceive of any being that could keep track of so many objects, let alone accelerate thousands of tons at accelerations an air to air missile would be hard pressed to match. The very concept is terrifying."

Doctor Shen found himself in agreement with Vahlen, a rare occurrence. "It took the processing power of our entire computer system and dozens of stations all over the world to just track the objects, and even then we had to rotate between groups to handle the data. A dedicated system could be built to handle the data, but it would need to be several times the power of our present system.

"However, whoever did it also did us a massive favour. At a best guess, over 90 percent of all the orbital debris around Earth and almost everything in low earth orbit has been swept away. The dangers of a collision have been reduced to almost nothing. As to moving the debris, Elerium could provide the power, but projecting and controlling it as some sort of tractor beam - the aliens use gravity control, but our own research hasn't even started to explore that sort of application. I find it fascinating."

"Well someone has." Commander Benford stated, looking up at the dot which now circled the translucent globe. "We should be able to get a closer look, the US Department of Defense has sacrificed the station keeping fuel in one of their Keyhole observation satellites to put it into an orbit with an apogee that should take it above the object by a dozen miles at it's closest approach. We should be getting a feed soon."

Doctor Vahlen poke up. "With your permission Commander, I shall set up close monitoring of the satellite as it approaches the object. The deviation in its orbit may give us a better read of the mass. We have the details?"

As she set up her tracking watch, a video window opened up in front of the globe, showing a black sky, and a green illuminated date stamp and time as well as figures around the edge that showed attitude and orbital characteristics, all changing as they watched. "We have satellite feed sir! They're bringing it around to align the primary optic on the object."

A large grey white dot appeared on the edge of the display, and drifted towards the centre. It was too distant to see any details, but it definitely showed as a shape. When it reached the centre of the aiming reticules, it came to a halt. It seemed to explode outwards, and a magnification number that sat in the top left of the screen spun up.

It now filled the central portion of the screen, a rugged mass of detritus, with several upper rocket stages lined neatly along one face, and a number of physically intact satellites suspended around it like a halo. There was also a small blob of purple that was the only moving object on the surface. The camera zoomed in again to show it clearly, and Vahlen gave an actual growl of frustration.

Twilight Sparkle, apparently unprotected from the rigours of space, was picking her way over the variegated surface, carrying a number of objects along with her in a purple grip. The smallest, in front of her was possibly some sort of tablet computer from the glow, while the objects flanking her were a slightly larger box that appeared to have come from inside one of the satellites. The third was more mysterious, a large crystal prism, as large as she was, with some sort of golden pattern on it's surface.

She suddenly stopped, turning her attention from the computer screen and looked up. She stared directly at the camera then gave a cheery wave with a hoof before going back to her work. The box was set in place on a large plate and welded there by a brief arc from her horn. She returned her attention to the computer, and although she didn't apparently do anything, one of the techs called out, "We're getting a signal!"

"What does it say?" Commander Benford demanded.

"Uh... it's a standard spacecraft transponder, probably from one of those satellites, or more than one. Those things are built to last much longer than their mission lifetimes, just add power and you're good to go. I'm checking the registry now..."

They waited a long moment as the tech and others entered commands and brought up information. The lead tech shook his head. "Huh, it checks out alright, International Space Authority transponder code is valid, registration current... Transponder is registered to a Nightlight Industries, and they also registered a 1000 klick orbit, inclination... off-set... all the paperwork matches up. The spacecraft purpose even states orbital salvage and reclamation. It all checks out."

"I don't believe it!" Vahlen exclaimed glaring up at the screen as if it had done her a personal injury. "No-body noticed a purple unicorn wander into their office and fill out forms? Not to mention where did she... it get the money to set it up, or the knowledge?"

Doctor Shen replied. "In reverse order: you, at least where to find the information; she still has most of that bag of gold; and a lot of the forms are electronic. No-body even sees them. It isn't like it's a sought after orbit, too high for earth sensing, too low for geostationary or GPS use. Even if someone did see it, there have been a couple of companies formed to develop ways to collect space garbage, and one even registered orbital slots. This would have looked like more of the same."

"I'm more interested in what that other object is." Benford redirected their attention to the screen where Twilight was implanting the crystal in the body of the mass. Her head dipped to touch it with her horn, and it lit up from within with a purple glow, while patterns of golden light blaze don the sides. However nothing else seemed to happen. "Hmmm... maybe it failed?"

"Sir!" The lead tech caught his attention. "I think you'll want to see this. We had the area under observation from the ground with optical telescopes in case the satellite failed, and... well, maybe it's better to show you."

A second projected screen opened in front of them, and the mass of debris was once again seen from a distance. However, clearly circling it was a ring of glowing purple text. 'Crazy Twilight's Space Salvage'. An inner ring proclaimed 'Out of this world prices!'

"A billboard." Doctor Vahlen exclaimed disgustedly. "A giant holographic billboard!"

Doctor Shen was punching away at a calculator. "Given those dimensions and if the brightness is... oh dear. It will be visible to the naked eye, obvious as a 2nd magnitude star. People are going to be looking, and even a hobbyist's telescope should be able to read the sign."

"What does it think it's doing!" Doctor Vahlen fumed.

"Advertising." Commander Benford replied. "And making sure there's no way we can keep its presence quiet, I suspect."

The control room was silent, in part because the occupants were still trying to come to terms with recent events, but mostly because no-one wanted to ask Commander Benford if he'd just made a joke.

Author's Note:

41.1: This is what we call "A little too far".
41.2: HMS Thunder Child is a fictional torpedo ram; the other three are real battleships. And yes, Apple Bloom WAS sort of cheating; Dreadnought was, when launched, the only battleship in the world capable of first line combat, because she made all the others obsolete overnight.
41.3: I like "Kittyhawks".
41.4: In the pursuit of fabulosity.
41.5: Do not offend Pinkie.
41.6: Thoroughly Irked.
41.7: Make sure to submit your health and safety application in good time.
41.8: Overkill, noun. "What seaponies like." Do not expose seaponies to Trixie.
41.9: Why the long face? Sorry, wrong joke.
41.10: Friendship is SCIENCE!!
41.11: Scootaloo's power set is... interesting. (It's all related to her kinasthesia.)
41.12: Preventing Kessler Syndrome for fun and profit.

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