MLP Loops 130
130.1 (Evilhumour)
Twilight looked at the griffin that was gushing at her, running around with a child-like wonder smile on his face.
"Oh my gosh, you're Twilight Sparkle!" He squealed, clapping his claws together with joy. "I've heard so many cool things about you! Like how you managed to ascend to an alicorn form, or how you managed to redeem Princess Luna! Or the fact you managed to get Skynet to get a soul and start to loop! Or how-"
Twilight placed a hoof over the griffin's mouth, an urge to smack the griffin rising now. "One more question, and then you will answer mine, ok?" She glared down the tall, tubby-ish griffin looper. The white and black griffin, a raven instead of an eagle, nodded his head with obvious eagerness.
"What's a Skynet?"
"Wha- I -gah," Twilight's tongue died in her mouth, a part of her mane springing upwards. "Never mind! I will explain that later. Now, can you please tell me who you are?"
"Sure thing," he flashed her a grin before his face changed into something more serious. "My name is Xiao Po Ping in baseline, but I mostly go by Po. My name here is Polar Strike or something?" He twisted his head to the side as he tried to think, flapping his wings so slightly. "Oh, that's right! I've got wings this time!" He grinned again, flying a bit in her library. "Stairs will not defeat me this time!"
Twilight made the mistake of asking, "Stairs?"
"Yeah," Po answered her, nodding his head again as he looked over his body. "I usually have trouble going up and down them. Being a panda doesn't give you long legs."
"Yeah, I can guess." Twilight smiled back. "So I'm guessing you know about our loop being a sanctuary loop, right?"
"Oh yeah, Master Splinter, Master Ranma, Master Ichigo and a couple of others told me how good this loop was and you ponies are!" He looked like he was about to squee again, to which Twilight responded by using her magic to zip his mouth closed.
In another loop, a red panda looked at his four turtle sons as he felt an answer to life slip by him for some reason. He figured it was due to the pizza that his youngest son had got them to eat last night and moved on.
"Good, so unless you are going to cause trouble here," Twilight gave him a sharp look.
"Which I promise I will not do!" Po responded to her in a serious tone again, his eyes still having the twinkle of joy and wonderment in them.
"Then you are free to do pretty much whatever you want." Twilight smiled again, looking up at the griffin.
"Cool." He blinked and then looked at her, "Say, there is something I want to try with Nightmare Moon, is that ok?"
"As long as it will not permanently harm Luna for this loop, she's not awake."
"Of course, I'm sure that the Wuxi Finger Hold isn't lethal."
130.2 (Evilhumour)
Po heard about punishment loops. He had heard about Eiken and how messed up it was. He had heard that certain loopers had got certain punishments for being unique.
It seemed he was one of those unique loopers.
Placing his hand on the side of Sombra's infinite staircase, he began his long climb upwards with a heavy sigh.
130.3 (Hubris Plus)
"And this is the real deal?" Trixie asked, turning a gold circlet over in her hands.
"One hundred percent guaranteed," Sunset assured her. "Assuming, of course, that payment is rendered." They were located in one of Canterlot High's disused classrooms, an unAwake Trixie in her typical garb and Sunset decked out in a black number. The lights flickered, dark more often than not, as most fixtures were wont to do in the school's less frequented areas.
More than one Loop, she'd caught Vice Principal Luna with a ladder loosening the bulbs. She supposed that monomaniacal obsession with saving on electricity was as close as she could get to eternal night without magic.
"If your charm works as advertised, the Great and Powerful Trixie will perform at both of their birthdays," the magician answered, narrowing her eyes.
"You have my word. Just put it on and think distant thoughts."
The other girl lifted her hat a fraction to slide the ring into place around her head. Before she'd finished settling it back in place, she'd vanished in a subdued flash of light, accompanied by an overwrought gasp from the hall outside.
"Where'd she come from?!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice carrying through the door with typical enthusiasm. It was soon followed by Trixie's mad cackle.
"Gee, thanks Sunset!" Snips told her from where he'd been standing, just behind and to her left. Snails mirrored him on her right.
"Hey, you two deserve it," she ruffled their hair. "Number one minions." The rest of the Loopers tended to think of the pair as selfish nitwits blundering their way through life, and she couldn't deny they had a point. The two of them went after what they wanted with the unthinking innocence of children and more often than not got themselves and everyone around them in a heap of trouble.
But they were also the two kids who had fallen into the wake of the bizarre new girl and followed her through thick and thin as she'd seized control of the school. Before she'd started Looping, she'd bummed more lunch money off of them than she'd care to admit, and they'd never asked for a cent back. When she'd been at her worst, raving with Magic and bent on enslaving two worlds, they'd happily turned traitor on their entire species to back her up.
She'd never argue that that last one was a good thing, but she counted them among her friends.
She was broken out of her reverie by the door opening, and turned to see the trio of newcomers.
"Adagio, Sonata, Aria," Sunset greeted. "I was wondering when you'd show yourselves." She really had been wondering. Without the Elements to draw them in, their arrival was down to chance unless she or the others did something spectacular. These Loops, they tended to set off a magic flare whenever somepony had a new countersong idea.
This Loop had required a more delicate touch. She had a very specific goal in mind, and it required a reputation. They'd have to seek her out, just a little wary. To that end, she'd been trading away magical trinkets made in her spare time, building up a reputation as a mysterious but reliable enchantress. It had been only a matter of time until the Dazzlings heard about her or stumbled across a piece of merchandise.
"We hear you have certain... Talents," Adagio answered, narrowing her eyes.
"Oh, you could say that. Among them is an excellent sense of my customers." She strolled towards them, unconcerned. "Let me see, you want... A meal, and not a light one. Power, of the unlimited variety. But, really, I think you want... To go home." It was a goal she could sympathize with.
"Column B, please," Adagio purred, but Sunset hadn't missed Aria's eyes widening at the end.
"Well, you won't get it here. I have something of a monopoly."
"You said you could get us home," Aria inserted before Adagio could respond.
"Banished," the lead Dazzling hissed at her cohort.
"I wouldn't worry about that. Glorious returns are all the rage these days. Discord, Tirek, even Sombra managed to worm his way back into the world. Celestia barely controls half of Equestria now." The day half, naturally. "And hasn't lifted a hoof to stop any of them." Throwing Twilight at them didn't count.
"...And you can send us back," Adagio said flatly.
"Oh, yes," Sunset purred.
"And what do you want out of it?"
That was as close to a cue as she was likely to get. She still didn't like this plan, but Gilda had proved her point. At the very least, they wouldn't have the whole school to feed on if things went south here.
"Want? Oh, deary, this isn't about me," she said in feigned affront. "This is about you. I only want to help...
"~Oh, I'll admit that in the past I've been a nasty.
~They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch..."
"And you'll do this for nothing?" Adagio asked as they reached the song's midpoint.
"Oh, nothing's for nothing. Getting you back to Equestria won't be easy. There's just a little price..."
"I don't like this," Sonata whined.
"And I don't like this planet," Aria growled. "I hate living on fast food and table scraps. Don't you remember what home was like before Starswirl? We feasted! We ruled! Don't you want that again?"
"What price," Adagio asked.
"Nothing terrible or permanent. I'll just need to borrow your voices for a little while." The hook was baited. Sunset wasn't sure they'd bite.
"Our voices?!" Sonata clasped her hands over her throat.
"It's how Starswirl marked you in his spells. Without them, you'll slip right through. Then, all you'll have to do is bind yourself with Equestria's own magic and there's not a thing the codger can do. Friendship," she added at their confused expressions. "In three days time, as the sun sets, if you've caused somepony to call you friend, and mean it, and you count them as a friend in turn, you get to stay and have all your powers restored."
"And if we fail?" Adagio queried.
"Then you get dragged back here and have to finish high school mute."
"I really don't like this," Sonata reiterated.
"Life's full of tough choices, isn't it?"
"Aria, nooooooo," Sonata whimpered as the other girl seized a quill and signed the scroll. Adagio added her own signature afterwards and, after a moment of indecision, Sonata followed suit.
"~Snips and Snails, now I've got 'em boys, the boss is on a roll!" Sunset nudged her minions with an elbow before whirling on the Dazzlings. "~You poor, unfortunate souls! Now, sing!"
The trio began their song, green mist flowing out of their amulets instead of in as the magical contract took hold. After a moment, their voices died away, drawn into a locket.
Sunset drew her Keyblade in its Super Galaxy Bonds mode. One twist opened a wormhole from the classroom to the statue that housed the portal. A second unlocked the portal. A flick of her wrist swept the sirens up and threw them through into Equestria.
She paused after closing everything back up. She really didn't like being so manipulative. It brought back too many memories. But there was a pattern she'd noticed in all of Equestria's other reformed villains. After awhile, they all tended to settle back into their roles, minus the evil. Luna would sometimes steal the Moon, and Nyx had few compunctions about scaring candy out of ponies. Chrysalis still infiltrated everything she could manage. And she'd never actually heard of Discord stopping any of his shenanigans.
She was good at politics. Winning people over, changing their minds. In the baseline it had made controlling the school foal's play. It was a part of her, and she had to face that.
Besides, nine times out of ten that sort of friendship quest actually seemed to work.
"Come on," she told Snips and Snails as they collected their jaws from the floor. "Let's go get lunch, and I'll help you with algebra."
"Well, what do we have here?" Sunset asked. The three days had passed and she'd found the trio just as her namesake was approaching.
"Apologies, my lady," Blueblood said from beside Sonata. "But I am quite taken."
"Not remotely who I was talking to," Sunset rubbed at her temple. Each of the Dazzlings seemed to have collected somepony. In addition to Blueblood, Flash Sentry stood beside Adagio and Fleur de Lis backed up Aria.
Sonata grinned wide and nuzzled the prince, who blushed furiously. Adagio rolled her eyes at their display, earning a stern glare from Sentry. A smack of her hoof across the back of his head was rewarded with grumbling and his own, surprisingly good natured, eye roll. Fleur whispered something in Aria's ear that sent her rolling in silent laughter.
For her part, Sunset found an eyebrow rising. It looked like they had actually pulled it off. Of course, there was only one way to be sure.
"Let it never be said I'm not a mare of my word." She flicked open the locket, allowing the mist to flow back into their lockets and restore their voices. "And what will you do now?"
"We..." Adagio frowned and her forehead crinkled in thought. "I... I suppose we're going to become vegetarians," she finally sighed.
"I feel like I'm missing something," Flash said, his own eyebrows rising.
130.4 (Crisis)
"Auntie!"
Daring froze at the cheer, which meant she was unable to dodge as a unicorn filly tackled her to the ground. If her niece was here, then that meant...
"Hi sis! How's it been going?"
"What in the world are you doing here?!" Daring hissed at her sister.
"I heard you were in a bit of a bind and wanted to come help," the gray-coated pegasus with the blonde mane and wall-eyes replied cheerfully and pulled something out to offer to Daring. "Muffin?"
"The last time you 'helped' you reduced a priceless historical ruin to rubble!" Daring ground her teeth as she got to her hooves, carefully not to dislodge the pint-sized unicorn still hugging her. Her niece was adorable. Her sister on the other hoof was a walking disaster.
"It wasn't the whole thing..." her sister looked hurt, which made Daring feel guilty, "and besides, didn't we need to stop that blue meanie guy?"
Daring sighed. Yes, they had. Along with saving the world from his latest scheme. It wasn't like she herself hadn't destroyed a few priceless treasures when the fate of the world was at stake, but it hadn't been by accident...
Dinky giggled at the leveled temple that her aunt and mom just explored with a stunned cat like guy next to them, also having his jaw low.
After a while, the blue cat guy closed his mouth and looked at her auntie. "So I guess it is true you are the sister to the infamous Derpy, Daring." His grin was dropped when her auntie give him a time-out look. Holding up all three of his strange hooves, he said. "Oh no, I am not going to tempt my fate in the same place as three Dos."
"You're funny Uncle Azy!" She giggled, leaning into the blue man which for some reason caused her auntie and uncle to cringe.
130.5 (Hubris Plus)
"Tell me again how this happened," Twilight, currently head of the Sparkle Organization, sighed.
"Well, you see, I was going for a walk..." Pinkie, currently wearing a floppy pink hat and one step shy of full chaos godhood answered.
"I think you should maybe pull back on those."
"And I think you should push up my jambox budget!"
Celestia rolled her eyes as a scroll burned into existence before her. These days, it was a fifty-fifty chance whether it was from Twilight or-
Dear Princess Celestia
We are going to party. Hard.
You may be wondering about the frequency with which I have been sending these letters. It is only because I want to increase anticipation for our inevitable party as much as possible.
Like icing a cake, I am adding deliciousness to an already tantalizing confection.
And then I'm gonna pin a tail on it.
That's right! I'm pinning a tail on the party cake! Taffy tail. It's gonna be delicious.
Sincerely,
-The Pink E. Pie
The solar diarch sighed as she finished the note. It really did sound like a fantastic cake, but the royal dietician would kill her.
"Gentledrones," Sombra told his army of one thousand changeling soldiers as his airships set off towards Canterlot. "I love war..."
"Pinkie," Twilight ground out as she flung a changeling away. "I'm releasing your level one restrictions. Party hardy."
The pink mare started laughing. It began as a low chuckle, but swiftly rose into a booming, cheerful chorus, joined by thousands of voices. Cotton candy tendrils started curling away from her, and shapes began emerging from it.
"Come on, everypony! There's a party in my soul and you're all invited!"
130.6 (Dalxein)
"So..." Twilight started before she paused to try and find the words. In the end she decided to ask, "...how did this happen?"
Ditzy Do, sitting upon Celestia's throne garbed in gold and silver raiment, closed one eye while the other stared upward in concentration. "I... think it was the muffins?"
"Muffins don't make you Queen of Equestria!" Twilight huffed in confusion and denial.
130.7 (Hubris Plus)
"This is a terrible idea."
"Seems to have worked out pretty well the last couple times," Nyx answered, checking her makeup in a hand mirror.
"Those appealed directly to the Dazzlings' nature. This..." Sunset threw her hands in the air. "I don't even know what your angle is on this one."
"Hey, the formula doesn't seem that complicated. Villain song, sincere delivery. Easy peasy."
"...I'm filming this. I'm filing this and I'm sending the tape to the crusaders when this blows up in your face."
"You worry too much. This'll be great." Nyx pocketed her mirror before taking the steps two at a time to reach the stage.
"~In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning,
~And the Nightmare I had was bad as could be!
~A mane to blot out the sky!
~A monstrous cast to her eyes!
~And when I Awoke, the Nightmare was Me!"
"Come my minions, fly for your master, let your evil shine!" Adagio stood at center stage, amulet in her hands and thrust at the heavens. Green mist swirled around her, and the monstrous visage of her projection was pouring forth into the world. Aria and Sonata stood to either side, likewise calling forth their full power. "Take them now, and fly ever faster..."
"In the dark of the night, in the dark of the night!" Aria and Sonata chanted in counterpoint.
"You'll be mine!" She cackled triumphantly.
"Well?" Sunset asked on the other side of the concert, camera in hand as she peered into a crater.
"Maybe I should have done a Disney song?" Nyx asked, a thin column of smoke rising from her as she climbed out.
"I'm so telling your mom on you." She stowed the camera away and took out her Keyblade. "Come on, we're doing this the hard way."
"Don't they feed on aggression?" Nyx replied, dusting herself off. Her hair turned misty and her eyes went green and slitted.
"Think happy thoughts, pipsqueak."
130.8 (fractalman)
Twilight brought a table out of her pocket, set it on the floor between the thrones of her crystal palace, and pounded a judges gavel.
"Alright everypony, siddown! Pinkie, put the flying streamer monster away. "
"Okie dokie!"
"Alright, first order of business is-"
Three things happened in rapid succession: there was a flash of light, a Dalek appeared on the table, and every looper present contributed to the force field to contain it.
"HOMOGENIZING SWARM DETECTED! PREPARING TO INTERVENE!"
Twilight blinked. "Ok, what?"
"I AM A MEMBER OF THE CULTURE! HOMOGENIZING SWARMS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!"
Twilight blinked again, sighed, and stared, rubbing her forehead. "Ok, first of all, if you're looking for the bureau, it's obviously in a different version of our universe. Second, if-"
"I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A 'BUREAU'. A SMALL GROUP OF PONIES HAS BEEN ENGAGING IN HOMOGENIZING SWARMLIKE BEHAVIOR!" The Dalek turned to the side. "IT IS SOMEWHERE IN THIS DIRECTION!"
"O...K...and second, if you're really with the Culture, how come you didn't react and zip away before we could trap you?"
"WELL I....I....EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!"
Rarity, Twilight, and Applejack sighed as the Dalek started shooting futilely at the looper powered barrier; Pinkie Pie giggled while Fluttershy facehooved and Dash stuck her tongue out.
Rarity spoke up. "Darlings, given the current state of affairs, I fear our loop is liable to crash at The Worst. Possible. Moment. I propose we hold off on discussing our issues until the next loop we're together. "
Twilight banged her gavel. "All in favor of procrastination?"
"AYE!"
"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"
"The vote is unanimous. Motion carried. "
130.9 (fractalman)
"Hypothetically speaking, what activities would you like to engage in?"
"Not a clue. Hey AJ, can you think of something awesome to do?"
"Hay no, ah can't. Whad'ya wanna russle up, Rares?"
"Darling, you've used that one already."
"Tree darnit!"
130.10 (Gym Quirk)
"Don't fret none, Winona," soothed Applejack as she gave the forlorn collie a comforting pat. "Any luck, Apple Bloom?" she called into the house.
"Sorry, sis. Not a single one to be found," called back the filly.
"We'll just wait until Mac gets back from the market," the orange pony told her pet reassuringly. "Ah. Here he is now."
The red stallion gave his sister a shake of the head and a look that mixed frustration with confusion. "Nope."
"Not a package anywhere in Ponyville?" she asked.
"Nope."
"Filthy Rich sold out days ago?"
"Eyup."
"Won't restock 'til Friday?"
"Eyup."
"Maybe Fluttershy has some to spare..." mused Applejack.
Fluttershy was close to tears as she gave the bad news to the pack of puppies. "I'm so sorry, my little friends. I don't know how it happened, but I'm completely out. I thought I had six boxes in the pantry, but they're gone..."
Twilight conjured a magnifying glass and started a careful examination of Spike's bed. The dragon was spending the afternoon "courting" his wife, so this was an excellent opportunity to pursue this investigation for her unawake friends.
A scattering of light brown crumbs in the fold of a blanket caught her attention. The consistency and odor did not match any of the products from Sugarcube Corner or any other local bakery. She levitated them into an evidence bag for later analysis, but she was now fairly certain as to the result.
"Spike, we really need to have a talk about dog biscuits..." she muttered.
130.11 (Detective Ethan Redfield)
Sunset Shimmer stepped into her apartment and latched the door behind her. After a quick snack of sweet rolls, she opened the door to her room, only to jump back in surprise, her last sweet roll falling to the floor. There on her bed was Celestia. Celestia, meanwhile, just stared at Sunset with a baffled but curious expression, "Do not be frightened."
Sunset rubbed her eyes and gazed at her mentor, "Princess Celestia?"
Celestia rolled on her back on the bed and looked at her former student, "Oh? Have you heard of me even here in this strange land?"
Sunset poked the alicorn then pinched herself, "Well I'm awake, even though I feel like I've been thrown for a loop with an alicorn in my apartment."
Celestia giggled, "Perfectly understandable. Don't get too dizzy though. If someone saw you passed out in this place, I'd probably be found out."
Sunset sighed, realizing Celestia was not awake, "What are you doing here?"
"Well, my sister, Luna...you do know who Luna is, strange creature?"
With Sunset's nod, Celestia continued, "She tried banishing me to the Sun. However, I somehow ended up here."
Sunset tapped her chin, muttering to herself, "Since you didn't enter the mirror, you weren't transformed into a human...maybe. And Luna might have screwed up the banishment spell, sending her to the human dimension instead of to the sun."
Celestia tilted her head with a curious expression, "You seem familiar with Equestria and ancient history since the only book referencing my sister in Equestria called her Nightmare Moon. Please, explain how you know so much? And I also didn't get your name."
Sunset rubbed the back of her head. This would be an awkward chat.
130.12 (masterofgames)
Daring could only stare at her stopwatch as Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo exchanged a hoofbump, their recently collected artifact in a bag to their side.
"Th-that's less than half of my best time! How!?"
Scootaloo grinned. "You don't have to worry about traps if you blow up the temple before you go in!"
Somewhere in the distance, Twilight's scream of frustration was heard.
130.13 (masterofgames)
Twilight groaned as she Awoke, in both meanings. Gradually sitting up, she took note of her surroundings.
To her right she could see a white, empty room with no visible door. To her left she saw paper. And nothing but paper. Paper as far as the eye could see. Oddly though, as she turned her head, her right eye revealed more of the room, while the view from her left hadn't changed at all. An idle tap of her hoof to her face revealed the reason.
"Oh." Twilight smirked, peeling off the sheet that was stuck to her face. "A noble attempt, but you shall not defeat me, paperwork. Not today." she giggled.
A quick glance down revealed the situation. From the looks of the desk, and the multiple crumpled papers, broken quills, and empty inkwells, she had fallen asleep in the middle of a project again.
With a small grin, Twilight leaned back in her chair and waited for her loop memories to tell her where she was and what she had been doing that she had thought was so important to warrant an all night session.
And waited.
And waited.
"Huh... that's a little odd." she muttered to herself. Nothing was coming to her. Not to be done in by this, she started working it out the old fashioned way, by reading the papers.
As she read on, her left eyebrow slowly, but steadily rose up her face. "What is this? This is awful!" she grumbled as she grabbed the balls of paper and opened them one by one, reading whatever she could make out on them. "Alone in the woods? Personal crusade? There are no brakes on the shipping tr... oh."
Twilight took a deep, calming breath. "Okay, so I'm working on shipfics. For some reason." She sighed. "Still doesn't explain where I am, but it's something."
Twilight then stood up, both to search the room, and to stretch. Sleeping like that had left her back as sore as all get out. After a few very satisfying pops of her spine, she began her investigation.
Five minutes later, she ended her investigation. There was no way in, or out, of the room. It was completely empty save for her, the desk, and the papers.
Not wanting to write any more right at the moment, Twilight just sat down, leaned against the wall, folded her hooves, and waited for something to happen. Something HAD to happen eventually. The concept of this loop as it was seemed FAR too simple.
Before long Twilight heard voices, soft but growing louder, echoing through the room.
"Okay, so I got this in the HUB in my last loop. It was all the rage there for some reason." a voice Twilight was quickly able to place as Cheerilee stated.
"Well, I'm up for a game. I have plans for this loop, but I'll need Twilight, and she isn't Awake yet for some reason. Might be another Stealth Anchor. Might as well kill some time." Spike's voice replied. Twilight just blinked in confusion a few times. A game? What?
"Meh, guess I'm in. Let's see what all the cool kids in the backup server 'verse are playing." Lyra's voice chimed in.
"Yay! New game! This'll be so cool!" Derpy's voice giggled.
Twilight looked around. "... Hello? Can anypony hear me?" she called out, hesitantly.
No answer came right away, so it would seem the answer was no.
"Okay," Cheerilee's voice echoed. "The first card, 'Fanfic Author Twilight', starts on the field, like so... and let's draw some objectives! Looks like we have..."
A sudden flash of light in the center of the room startled Twilight to her hooves, swiftly dying down to reveal a playing card with her own picture on it floating before her. A quick prod revealed that she couldn't move it. Then, a ways above it, more flashes came as more cards faded into existence.
"... 'Just Experimenting', 'Rainbow Dash Fan Club', and..."
Twilight's eyes widened as the fourth card appeared, backing up to the wall. "Oh HERB no! No! No! No! No! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOO!" she shouted as she punched the wall in a frenzy.
"... 'Help! I'm Trapped In A Shipping Card Game!' Now, who wants the first round?"
Twilight did her best to break out of the tiny room, but deep down she knew it was too late. With her Pocket confirmed as sealed, and her magic acting up, she could do nothing but watch and listen helplessly as Lyra started the first turn.
"Well, since we're starting with Twilight, I think it's only proper we start off with this little gem! Twilight is cleaning out her library, when she stumbles across a book that will at last help her obtain her true love! 'How To Pick Up Mares: A Reference Guide'!"
Another shimmer in the air, and another card appeared in the air, fusing edge to edge with Twilight's card, and a loud THWAP startled Twilight out of her attempts to beat down the wall with her head. Over at the desk, several papers were fluttering to the ground, having been knocked off by the book that had landed among them. Hesitantly, Twilight, crawled over, gave it an inquisitive poke, and then slowly opened it.
Page 1 was written simply, 'Get that mare some hay. Fillies love hay.'
Twilight blinked. "... What."
"...and, since I personally always thought the two would be perfect for each other, she uses it to gain the heart of 'Major General Rainbow Dash'!"
Twilight most certainly did NOT shriek like a little filly and dive under the desk, as one of the walls suddenly started imploding. And until someone managed to find proof she would continue to have not done it.
The featureless white wall simply started cracking and compressing, as though sucked into a black hole that only it could be affected by. It all happened quickly, and it ended with a loud snap. After a moment, Twilight looked out slowly.
Where the wall had once been, Twilight could now see her library. And on the opposite side of her library, there was another white room. And inside that room, was Rainbow Dash, wearing a giant pair of wire-frame sunglasses and a military uniform. "Huh? Oh, hey Twi! Thanks for getting me out. I was getting a little worried. Where are we this loop anyway?" she grinned, flipping her mane as she left her room for the library between them.
Twilight just shook her head as she walked over to join her. "Trust me. You don't want to know." she sighed, taking a seat next to her friend. "I just hope this is the worst of it."
As if on cue, a bouquet of hay popped into existence, landing softly in her hooves.
Twilight took a moment to glance back at her room, and the book inside. "... You've got to be kidding me."
"What? What is it?" Rainbow dash asked, flipping her sunglasses up to her forehead.
"Just... just play along." Twilight sighed. Then, taking a moment to steel herself, she put on a fake grin and handed the hay to Rainbow Dash. "(ahem) 'Here Rainbow Dash. There are for you'." she uttered dryly. Rainbow Dash just raised an eyebrow. "Um... Thanks?" she hesitantly answered, reaching out for it.
The moment Dash touched the hay, her eyes widened as her body lurched against her will. "Hey! What the-!?"
And then Twilight found herself swept into a deep kiss.
After a moment frozen like that, they pulled apart with wide, unblinking eyes.
"... Twi? I think I enjoyed that a lot more than I should have."
"Oh? Really? I couldn't tell. What with the tongue and all." Twilight droned, deadpan.
"... Wanna do it again?"
Twilight almost gave her a much deserved hoof to the shoulder for that, but she paused as she realized something. "... Yeah, actually."
"..."
"..."
"... We should probably go back to the white rooms before we do something I'm freakishly unsure we'd regret."
"Good idea." Twilight nodded, blushing heavily as they split up.
Of course, then Lyra had to speak up again. "-and as a follow up act, since we all know she'd do it in a heartbeat, I'm using 'Can I Tell You A Secret?' to ship Major General Dash with 'The Wonderbolts'!"
Dash blinked and looked around. "The hay?"
Spike's voice chimed in. "What? You mean like, with ALL of them?"
"Yep!" Lyra's peppy voice replied. "But thanks to the shipping card I'm using, they have something to tell Dash."
On cue, one of the walls of Rainbow Dash's room fell into a singularity. Behind it, the officer's lounge of the Wonderbolts was revealed, with the Wonderbolts themselves inside. Spitfire marched up to Dash and gave a salute. "Ma'am! As our new commanding officer, we will now reveal the great secret of the team!"
Dash glanced over to Twilight. "Is... is she having me on?"
Twilight shook her head with an apologetic sigh.
With a pause and a shrug, Dash turned back to the Wonderbolts. "Uh... go ahead soldier?"
Spitfire removed the hood from her flight suit, revealing an oddly solid facial structure underneath it. "General Dash, Ma'am! I'm really a stallion, Ma'am!"
"... What."
Dash just sat there for a second as she took this in, even as Soarin marched up, likewise removing the flight suit hood. "Ma'am, I'm really a mare, Ma'am!"
"I too, am a stallion, ma'am!" Fleetfoot announced.
One by one, all the rest did the same.
Dash took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, then took a moment to look over the 'Bolts. "... Meh. I'd still hit it." she shrugged.
With a loud cheer, the entire team grabbed her and hoisted her up. "Glad to hear that Ma'am. Would be hard to have your swearing in ceremony otherwise!" Soarin grinned as they pulled her to a side door, pulled it open, and all filed inside.
Twilight couldn't see what was in there, but she could guess, from Dash's commentary. "The locker room? What kind of ceremony takes place here? Wait, the showers? I'm not sure... hey! Watch it, that tickles! Fleetfoot, give those sunglasses back! I didn't- EEP! Uh, heh heh, you know, I was just about to go inspect the grounds and... ooh... okay, yeah, that's kinda nice... Oh wow! That was... Isn't this against regulation... Oooooohhhh, yeah! Ah screw it. Hey! Twilight? You go on without me! I might be a little while! ...Or a long while! ...Won't be more than two days, tops! ...A week if something comes up. WOW! Yeah, something just came up!"
Lyra's voice echoed. "I end my turn!"
"What the... HEY! This means war you ingrates! Try and tempt me with an obstacle course IN the shower? Nice try, but you'll need to hide your weapons a lot better than that to get them by me! Nobody uses the old 'snow cloud in the shower head' trick on 'General Dash' and gets away with it! I'll take on the lot of you! Hey, wait... what are... Oh don't you dare! This jacket is dry clean only! Where did you even get a hose that siz-AAKPTH!!!"
Twilight just groaned. "Right... right. Poorly written shipping, I forgot. Ugh... This is going to be a long loop...
(Gamerex27)
Twilight groaned, brushing whipped cream out of her mane with her forehoof. It had only been 15 minutes, and already she was desperately combing her blank prison for an escape route.
"Okay, so how about this?" pitched Lyra. "After his one-night stand with Nightmare Moon, Blueblood is hit by a wayward spell while Twilight is running some experiments..."
Her wall popped out of existence, and Twilight felt a pressure building up in her horn-like a magic spell had plugged up the pores by the keratin appendage, and it needed to get out.
She could hold it no longer. Directing her head at a hopefully-empty spot on the road, she fired what she quickly realized was a modified version of the infamous Want-It-Need-It spell...
Unfortunately, a chariot holding the all-too familiar smarmy git took this time to careen onto the road out of seemingly nowhere. Prince Blueblood stuck his head out the window, his face tinged green with nausea, and proceeded to dry heave, complaining about the "peasant air," mere moments before the spell struck him square in the face.
"...and as he looks out the window and is hit by the spell," the green unicorn continued, "he just happens to see the most handsome rock that he'd ever seen in his life."
Blueblood's eyes promptly turned into cartoonish hearts, and his face twisted into (for once) a genuine smile. "Stop the chariot!"
Screeching to a halt, the chariot stopped in its tracks, and Blueblood swung the carriage door open, galloping towards a rock sitting on the side of the road.
"Pardon me, sir" he said, "but you are the most handsome stallion I have ever seen!"
Tom the rock made no sign that he had heard or even seen Blueblood. Because he was, well, a rock.
"I just happen to have an extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala," the lovestruck stallion continued, "and I would be honored if you would..."
Whatever he was about to say was drowned out by a fit of giggles and laughter by the twisted game's players. "Wow, that's a great mental image!" Spike said, after calming himself down. "We should really be writing all this down."
"NO!" Twilight shouted. "No one ever needs to know about this! EVER!" While she knew that they couldn't hear her, she couldn't help but try.
"Before you do that, I'm not done. Since I still have a few cards left, and there's still one space open next to Twilight..." Lyra said, "Let's say that after the incident with the spell, Twilight goes to nap under Bloomberg the Tree..."
The space before the Anchor shifted again, to reveal the aforementioned meadow and the tree at its center. Shrugging, Twilight cantered over towards the tree, and sat down in front of it.
"...but since she still had some weird magic residue all over her body, she accidentally gets Bloomberg pregnant!"
As Twilight facehoofed, a card titled "Unexpected Pregnancy" fused with her center card, followed by one depicting Bloomberg sitting in the meadow. Suddenly, Twilight was shoved to the ground from the back. Which was odd, since she was sitting directly against the tree.
Slowly, she turned around and gaped. No, she confirmed, as she tapped the sudden bulge that had appeared in Bloomberg's trunk, she wasn't imagining things. She had somehow gotten a bucking tree pregnant.
She hated this game.
"...which nets me that Cargo Ship goal for 3 points!" Lyra concluded.
"I think you would have gotten that goal even with the first play. It's too late to take the play back now, though."
"Aw, ponyfeathers!"
(masterofgames)
Celestia burst into green flame, her disguise falling away as someone had decided she had retroactively been Chrysalis all along.
Her very first action was to chug the entire pitcher of lemonade from the Suspiciously Romantic Random Picnic around her.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Rough time?"
Chrysalis finally stopped drinking, gasping for air. "I must be the most overpowered card in the game!" she wheezed. "Every time they switch cards on the grid, I'm always the card they choose to relocate! It's thirsty work surviving some of the ships I've been in!"
Twilight winced. "How bad?"
Chrysalis held up a hoof, silently requesting a moment before she answered. She finally managed to get her breathing more or less under control after a minute. "In a relationship with Freedom Fighter Pinkie Pie, Vinyl, Nightmare Moon, and Tsundere Rainbow Dash, all at once. None of them knew about the others. Then I'm moved to a relationship with Bon-Bon, who was a changeling all along two turns later. Somehow that was used to bring Aloe and Lotus, Flim and Flam, and Mahou Shoujo Derpy together, right before I'm swapped out with Gilda, putting me right in the center of THREE Rainbow Dash AND Trixie! I can only take so much poorly written love before I'm full, but they just won't stop!"
"I'm sure it couldn't have been that-"
"All three Rainbow Dash were Awake!"
"... This loop is bucking weird."
130.14 (Detective Ethan Redfield)
Celestia could only gaze forward with a serene smile on her face as if in a trance. She knew this day would come. Millions and millions of loops, she had been waiting for this obscure and unlikely variant. Hell, she had set aside a special set of tools for dealing with just this scenario. Even as the ponies of Ponyville panicked and ran every which way, Celestia stepped through them with practiced ease as through a river. Countless attendants stood a hill away, prepared to descend upon the battlefield at Celestia's ultimate victory.
She would regret this decision tonight, but had accepted the consequences long ago. It was perfect, none of the other loopers were awake, so she could horde it all for herself. The sound of wood cracking echoed from the newly ruined library ahead caused Celestia to wince. Thankfully, Twilight was not awake, so she wouldn't react too badly. Finally, Celestia was at ground zero, as a massive being bent over and howled into her face. The princess gazed up at the 100 foot cake titan and licked her lips, "Hello, sweetie!"
130.15 (Elmagnifico, with inspiration from Gym Quirk)
"Honey, are you sure about this?"
"Absolutely!"
A conveniently dramatic mountain breeze whipped at Shining Armor's mane and wings, even as he sensed his wife giving him The Look.
"Alright, 90% sure. Just make sure you concentrate your magic on minimizing wind resistance. Hopefully my initial boost will get you going fast enough."
"That's it, put me dow-"
Before Cadence could finish her sentence, a green flare leapt from distant Ponyville, causing several things to happen almost at once.
The first of these was Shining Armor drawing strength from the Earth Pony portion of his alicorn magic, supplemented by a power-enhancing spell from the Unicorn portion, and sundry supplementary cantrips and arcane shenanigans.
The second was Trixie, who was standing nearby, shouting "That's the signal! GO GO GO!"
The third was Twilight Sparkle teleporting all but one of the living beings in Ponyville to the other side of Sweet Apple Acres.
The fourth was Cadence getting launched at the Ponyville Town Hall at a significant fraction of the speed of light.
The fifth was Nightmare Moon asking "What the bu-" before succumbing to kinetic incapacitation.
The sixth was Luna finding herself in a crater, squished under her unconscious niece.
130.16 (Kris Overstreet)
"Twilight, Ah think we got a problem," Apple Bloom said the instant she burst through the doors of the Golden Oaks Library.
"What makes you say that?" Twilight asked, finishing the most recent entry into a thick record book. Nightmare Moon Redemption Log #28,414; Method used: challenge to 18 holes of golf, magic disallowed; outcome successful; golf now official sport of Equestria.
"Well, y'all remember that one really, really late an' distant ping?" the farm filly said.
"Well, yes," Twilight nodded. "This is a Fused Loop with some space-travel world, most likely."
"Ah figured out which world," Apple Bloom said. "Ah'd just set up mah workshop an' was dustin' off mah Millenium Falcon when I noticed th' navigation computer was active an' trackin' nav buoys."
"Tracking nav buoys?" Twilight repeated in surprise.
"Which means not only is Equestria in th' Star Wars galaxy, we're close enough to th' Republic that we kin receive nav buoy signals."
"Republic, or Empire?"
"That's th' funny thing," Apple Bloom said. "Th' buoys I'm pickin' up are split 'bout fifty-fifty."
Darth Vader, Looper, had a project.
He'd Awakened at some unusual points in his personal history before (including one time when he'd Awakened as a Force ghost- and he still didn't understand how that even worked), but Awakening with a lightsaber in his hands standing over Palpatine's decapitated body in that torture-chamber operating room where he'd been given his cybernetic reconstruction sans anesthetic... well, that was a new one. (He'd smashed everything in the room with the Force all over again when his Loop memories, nice and fresh, told him he'd slain Palpatine in revenge for the obvious setup job he'd done to make Anakin Skywalker fall to the Dark Side... and he hadn't been Awake to properly enjoy it.)
This starting point left a large and urgent task list to be done, but Vader regarded it as chores, nothing more. Blame Palpatine's death on a hidden Jedi terrorist, seize control of the newborn Empire, announce amnesty for all surviving Jedi and Separatists, formally ban slavery once and for all (a very important and personal chore, that one), announce a popularly elected Assembly to complement the mostly aristocratic Senate (and to eventually replace it), give the Hutts a lesson in We Mean It about the slavery ban (a very pleasant and personal chore, that one), set up Tarkin to take the fall for construction of a certain planet-killing terror weapon, and talk Bail Organa and Owen Lars into letting him have his babies to raise (a very important, pleasant, and personal chore, but one he'd never succeeded in yet without... complications)...
It was a long list, but by and large a simple list.
Finding the world on the Outer Rim with a dozen or so Looper Pings, out in a vague area of space where no inhabited worlds existed, and far from Tatooine, Dagobah and Kashyykk... that was difficult, important, personal, and potentially pleasant, which promoted it from "chore" to "project" in the mind of Darth Vader.
The fact that the project required the recently acclaimed second Emperor of the Galaxy (the second in a matter of weeks, though Vader intended to last longer than his too-clever-for-his-own-good ex-Master) to repair the burnt-out records holosuite of the Jedi Temple by hand... well, that made it a more difficult project, and thus more interesting.
The crystal-coded memory core of the Archives had been built into the foundations of the Temple, and thus had been largely untouched by the fire. The trick was reviving the projectors, which was difficult but doable, especially if you grew up as a junk-scavenging slave on Tatooine and then added thousands of Loops' worth of experience. It just required patience and time... and if Darth Vader tended to be impatient with people, he'd never been impatient with machines.
The map of the galaxy as charted and kept by the Jedi Order flared into life around Darth Vader. Stepping carefully around rubble, tools and jury-rigged repairs, Vader examined the worlds, finally zooming in on a distant sector which had been on the exploration schedule ten years before the Trade Federation began making the troubles that would lead to the Separation. The Force told him this was the right general area, but nothing civilized was recorded in that sector...
... unless...
A careful study of the charted motions of the planets confirmed Vader's guess. Someone had hidden a star, deleted it from the Jedi Order's records... Not, he thought wryly, unprecedented. Had it been Palpatine, or Dooku, or some other cat's pawn? Or had Yoda decided to conceal something? Either way, he thought, it will be child's play to pry the data out of concealment.
A while later, when he saw the name of the planet, he realized how ironic his thought had been.
Ponyville was good at panicking, and its inhabitants liked to show off at any opportunity, especially the sisters who ran the floral shop.
Granted, with the Star Destroyer hovering over town hall and the huge troop transport that had landed in the fields just south of town, Twilight Sparkle couldn't deny the non-Awake ponies of Ponyville had excellent reason for panic.
The only reason the Awake Loopers (the Element Bearers, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Spike) hadn't put together their own space armada the moment the Imperial ships exited hyperspace was the other Ping, which was no longer the least bit distant. Based on that data Twilight had asked Celestia to keep everyone calm and had talked her fellow Loopers into waiting to see what developed.
That said, when the shuttlecraft left the Star Destroyer above and descended towards the clearing guarded by ten thousand perfectly identical stormtroopers, Spike and Applejack stood with Twilight on the stone bridge carrying lightsabers and wearing Jedi robes. (Applejack's were actually Juraian nobility garb, but close enough.) Fluttershy had put on the Imperium of Mankind battle armor Leman Russ had ordered made for her. And Twilight herself had dug out her old TSAB agent uniform and dusted OWL off... just in case. And Rainbow Dash had practically every pegasus in Equestria building thunderhead around the Star Destroyer, just outside the tight cordon patrolled by TIE fighter squadrons in tight formation. Everypony stood ready just in case things went bad.
Except Pinkie Pie, who bounced carefree from the Equestrian reception committee to the Imperial landing site and back. That was a good sign, Awake Pinkie being even more perceptive about such things than her baseline self, but it wasn't quite definitive.
The stormtroopers stood to attention, an Imperial Navy band three hundred strong struck up a cold, pompous marching tune, and the landing ramp of the shuttle descended, disgorging six scarlet-armored figures... and then a towering figure of absolute darkness.
On cue, as Darth Vader began striding down the broad passage between rows and rows of rigid stormtroopers, the assembled TIE squadrons from the Star Destroyer overflew the landing area. The formations of pegasi flanking them to either side only made the display even more impressive.
And then the music stopped. For one instant Vader and his royal guard froze in mid-step, then turned to look at the band, which was looking at new sheet music and shrugging.
And then the pink pony behind the tympani (how had she got them there?) took up the sticks and laid down a swinging lounge-band beat. The band joined in two measures later, playing the same music with much more spirit and syncopation.
And Vader, on the third bar, began dancing a solo conga down the road to the stone bridge. A moment after the high brass came in, Pinkie Pie joined the queue. The two-person conga line ended up in front of a group of very confused ponies. (The stormtroopers, while also confused, were too disciplined to show it.)
After a hissing murmur to Pinkie (and a cut-it-out motion at the neck from the pony to the naval band), Vader faced Twilight and said, "I have come on an urgent errand. I require your full cooperation in this matter."
"That depends," Twilight said carefully. "What exactly is your errand?"
"I have come," Darth Vader said in tones of portent, "to pick up my tailoring."
"I suspected that was the case, darling." Rarity, who had been standing in the back of the group saying nothing, now pushed her way to the front. "I must say, Anakin, you do know how to make a bold entrance." The white unicorn wrinkled her nose in mild distaste as she added, "Possibly not tasteful... not elegant... but quite bold."
"As I have said before," the Looper not always known as Anakin Skywalker replied, "Darth Vader cannot simply visit Equestria." Turning his attention back to Twilight, he added, "Later on, as time permits, I am amenable to discussing the political relationship between my Empire and your polity. For now, however," he said, walking over to stand next to Rarity, "I have truly important business to take care of."
As Rarity and the Sith Lord walked over the bridge towards the Carousel Boutique, the other Pony Loopers (minus Pinkie, who was dragging Applejack away while shouting something about "three hundred thousand cupcakes STAT!") turned to look at Spike, who clipped his lightsaber to the belt of his robes and shrugged.
"Seems legit," he said.
(Dalexin)
"I'm... not sure this is what I asked for." Anakin stated hesitantly, and he looked at the... well, it was definitely a cape. A very well-made one, but...
"It's designed to inspire fear. It has terror woven into every fiber and will inspire irrational fear in all who look upon it and its wearer." Rarity supplied.
He was still hesitant. "And the smiley bat motif?"
"You didn't ask for it not to have smiley bats." The mare retorted, with a small smirk. "You didn't expect me not to muck about with it did you? You asked me to make a thing of pure fearmongering terror. I take exception to that, and if nothing else you can add confusion to its list of powers because rationally no one should be afraid of someone wearing anything that looks like this, barring a phobia of bats." At this she huffed, already tired of explanations, and tossed the thing around her own neck.
He had to admit, that twinge of unease in the back of his mind was most definitely not there before she put it on. A weaker mind might actually be stricken with fear at the sight of it. Still, was it worth the bats?
After a moment, he sighed and nodded. "Thank you, Rarity. I'll take it." She grinned, replacing the cloak in its place on the mannequin, before he asked, "And the other one I asked for?"
"On the mannequin behind you," Rarity said.
(Saphroneth)
"I suspected as much. Care to explain?" Vader said, holding his other cape up.
"Oh, must you question all my design choices?" Rarity asked, sighing. "I mean, you did specify the effect only, and I am a craftsmare."
"I rather expected that you'd make it fit with the rest of my outfit," Vader admitted. "I thought that was what designers did."
Rarity tossed her mane. "Not in my book. At least, not with this kind of commission."
At first glance, it wasn't actually clear why Vader had a problem with it. The cape was a dark blue, almost but not quite black, and the right length. It had the correct flow, the right weave, and it moved just like his other capes did.
"I mean... come on." With a gesture, Vader swept the cape onto his shoulders.
It was awe-inspiring. It was morale-boosting. It made you forget all your fears, and want to walk through the darkest night.
It was also, however, bright gold with white trim.
"That's how you know the effect is working," Rarity said simply. "Gold is a very inspiring colour, you know, and so is white."
She paused. "If you prefer, I could do a Luna-themed one instead. Dark purple, with stars on it?"
The Dark, Unusually Brightly Clothed Lord Of The Sith considered that. "I will get back to you on that. It may well be the better choice."
"Well, it won't take long to change. It's mostly cosmetic anyway." Rarity shrugged. "Mostly."
(Kris Overstreet)
The next day Vader returned for the second cloak, which had undergone three different versions overnight.
Rarity, swaying a little from an all-nighter full of inspiration, floated the new cape over to Vader for approval. "I know I said it was going to be purple," she said, "but after seeing the blue and the gold on you, I realized that black truly is your color. But I did get the stars in."
Vader looked at the fabric. He'd seen patches of deep space less black than this. "I don't see them," he said.
"Put it on," Rarity insisted. "And then check the corners of your eyes."
Vader donned the cloak, and immediately felt the same sensation of confidence and loyalty as with the gold cloak spreading out through the Force around him. When he picked up a corner of the cloak and looked at it, though, it was still that same black...
... except for a twinkling just at the edge of his vision.
Slowly, carefully, Vader moved his gaze across the fabric, careful not to let his eyes flicker towards the lights. Tiny, tiny flecks of white and red and blue, exactly like stars, danced where he wasn't looking, vanished where he was looking. "Stars?" he asked at last.
"Sparks of inspiration," Rarity said. "They only come when you're not expecting them, and they flee if you try to look right at them. A little tricky to weave into the fabric, and possibly a more subtle effect than you intended, but-"
"This will serve," Vader said. After a moment, realizing that his statement was a bit blunt, he added, "Admirable. Thank you very much, Mistress Rarity. What do I owe you?"
At a flash of Rarity's horn, every window blind and curtain in the Carousel Boutique snapped shut. "Nothing in money or trade, darling," she said. "Just a bit of future blackmail material. Just in case."
Vader took a step backwards at the pink.... thing... that Rarity pulled out of her subspace pocket. "You want me... to wear that??" he asked.
"And to let me photograph you," the unicorn fashionista said.
"But..." Vader examined the long floppy ears... all six of them, two on the headpiece and two each on the slippers. "I'll look like... like a deranged Easter bunny."
"That's the idea," Rarity sing-songed, her smile almost worthy of Palpatine in his pre-pruneface mode. "And maybe it'll make you think twice about pulling little stunts like yesterday's when you visit us."
Vader considered this a moment. "Very well," he said at last. "Provided I get to keep the bunny suit. I know a couple of people I want to see wearing it." His technical son in law, for one.
"Of course," Rarity nodded. "I certainly don't want to keep the horrid thing."
One blackmail photo later Vader left the boutique, wearing the inspirational cape. He wasn't altogether certain he ever wanted to try the terror cape, with its motif of happy, friendly bats, in public anytime soon, and certainly not in Equestria. The subtly sparkling cape, on the other hand, was safe enough to see how it affected his troops.
The signs were subtle at first, but Anakin Skywalker had always known how to read them, in and out of the armored suit. The stormtroopers actually found a way to stand a little straighter. The non-cloned naval officers and crew smiled more frequently, and more pleasantly. Things ran just a little bit more smoothly whenever he walked by.
And this, Vader noted, is in as opposite from combat conditions as it is possible to get. I wonder how strong the effect will be in-
Someone tugged on the cape.
Vader froze for a moment out of sheer curiosity: someone, someone had just had the suicidal effrontery to tug on Darth Vader's cape. (Not that he'd do anything much about it while Awake, but his baseline self would have severed the offending hand at the shoulder without breaking stride.)
Slowly Vader turned and looked down to face a cross eyed blonde pegasus. "'Scuse me, mister," she said, "but is there anything you'd like me to do?" She turned her head to one side and added, "I saw that pretty glittery cape of yours, and suddenly I got the feeling I should be working for you."
Before Vader could answer, a pair of unicorn colts- one short and fat, one almost giraffe-like in proportions except for the buck teeth- dashed up. "Hey, mister! Where can we enlist, huh?" the tall skinny one said.
"Yeah!" the short fat one continued. "Guaranteeing peace and freedom to the galaxy through enlightened tyranny sounds like a great plan!"
Before Vader could explain the difficulties in enlisting minors on a world not properly part of the Empire, a hissing sound came from behind him. Spinning around, he saw a pale blue unicorn in what was obviously meant to be a Sith robe, her horn poking up from the edge of the cowl. "Always there are two: a master and an apprentice," she said before bowing deeply enough that her barrel pressed against the ground. "What is thy bidding for the Great and Powerful Trixie, my master?"
Command decisions often have to be made in an instant, and Vader's decision took even less time than that.
"OKAY, PACK 'EM UP!" he shouted to the guards and officers at the landing area, striding around the would-be Sith pony. "WE ARE LEAVING!"
A few feet away, concealed behind a bush, Twilight Sparkle and Rarity shook hooves and tried to stifle their giggles.
Not long after Cadence and Shining Armor's wedding, Rarity received a letter:
My dearest Rarity, Greatest Tailor in the Multiverse,
I need another commission from you at the earliest moment. In addition to the Cloak of Terror and the Cloak of Leadership you kindly made for me, I now need a Blanket of Security for young Luke. (Leia doesn't seem to need one; she takes after her mother so very much.)
Please call upon my embassy in Canterlot for any materials you might require, in my (official) name.
Ani
P.S. Please send another copy of that bunny suit as well, in Yoda’’s size.
Rarity smiled and laid out a new sketch sheet on her inspiration board. What other shapes, she thought, go well with a swan motif?
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"That happens every other adventure with you!"
"Those are self-destruct mechanisms, they don't count!"
"That's what you said about my dollhouse!"
"We were five, Ditzy, let it go!"
What is the certain fic for 130.11?
5364672 I'd like to know as well.
5364672 "Celestia is Still on My Bed," or something like that.
5364842
Me too.
Well, when dealing with musical villains, use a convincing Villain Song, so, Poor Unfortunate Souls works. I so wish I could upvote this even more.
Indeed.
I can somehow hear this in Sunset's voice and boy howdy does it work!
*squees*
5363554
There are a few videogames where all you do is CLIMB STAIRS while fighting monsters.
Poor Po even in loops he just can't beat the power of stairs.
FYI, the Culture one?
It's Hegemonizing Swarm. And Twilight should correct the Dalek on that. That'd be hilarious and lampshading.
She could say something like. "No. No you aren't, Dalek. I should know, I did a loop as a General Systems Vehicle. Besides. It's Hegemonizing, not Homogenizing."
Why hello there Hellsing Ultimate Abridged~~
And that ending was just cute and funny for Anakin Skywalker and his capes
130.1: Snerk. Very nice
130.2: Oops.
130.3: Interesting idea
130.4: Pfft, very nice.
130.5: mmm Hellsing xd
130.6: Denial changes nothing Twi
130.7: Uh...Do-over?
130.8: I've got nothing ^^; 'splain?
130.9: Still lost...
130.10: It'll give him a glossy coat XD
130.11: Which Fic?
130.12: Pfft, I guess they got around having to take archeology courses XD
130.13: Bwehehehehe
130.14: Yummy
130.15: Hey why not, it's a genuine technique
130.16: Yay commissions? Still cute.
5374390 130.9: Turning "I dunno, What do you want to do?" into a game. Repeat a variant of the sentence, and you lose.
130.11: Search FimFiction for "Celestia" and "On My Bed."
I'm laughing with insanity of all of the randomness.
(Slams metaphorical mug down) ANOTHER!
"Seems legit."
...
why that got me the most I will never know, but boy howdy did it get me.
130.1: I wanna say... something to do with Kung Fu Panda? Possibly I ought to watch that at some point. That said, would a finger hold do anything to baselineish Nightmare Moon? She has no discrete fingers, after all.
130.2: Is this connected to the previous one? There could stand to be some clarity here.
130.3: Oh, well played. Also, I like the look into that part of Sunset's mind. (Some disappointment that they didn't try to adapt the spell-to-take-the-voice part of the song, but I imagine that'd be several times as difficult as the rest of it.)
130.6: Really, Twilight, you should know by now that there's very little muffins can't do in the hooves of a sufficiently-motivated Doo.
130.11: I kinda want some backstory here (though not enough to actually go see whether it's present in the original fic). In particular, why does Sunset Shimmer have an apartment, presumably of her own, at an apparent-biped-age of probably no more than 17ish?
130.13: Ersh
130.15: Can we see the Discord version? I wonder whether he can do anything directly about linear momentum, come to think of it...
This is the only time Twilight has engaged in sexual activities so far in the entire fic (On screen that is, oh, and kissing counts as part of the sexual experience!), unless I am mistaken. I am almost speech less.
5779125 she was under the influence of shipping. She can't be held accountable for her actions.
130.11 is inspired by the short adorableness that is: Princess Celestia is in your bed. Written by ocalhoun
In case anybody after me wanted to search it up themselves.
Having either Derpy, Snips & Snails, or Trixie working for the Empire? Its days are numbered. All 4 at once? Apocalypse in the making.
Nope. Nope nope nope, I'm out, fuck that, wake me up when the partypocolypse is over.
Ah, it's nice to see a Hellsing Abridged loop.
5604553
yes, the first one is Kung Fu Panda.
as for the second one...my guess is trying to use the "finger hold" on a Pony-who HAS no fingers-caused a Loop Crash. hence the Punishment.
What song is this?
8552730
Poor Unfortunate Souls, from Disney's The Little Mermaid. (Sung, naturally, by the villain.)
Until next time...
Anon e Mouse Jr.
"Ya gotta party hardy!"
Way to many large spaces between the loops
Why is it always Dash? I feel like all of the non-persistent TwiDash shipping is too much- compared to other comparable repeating activities- to not be either adding up to a running joke, foreshadowing, or something of that nature.