MLP Loops 109
109.1 (Conceptualist)
"Twilight?"
"..."
"Twilight?"
"No."
"No?"
"Rarity, ah doesn't knows whuffo' we is all rednecks in th' boondocks instead of ponies, ah doesn't knows whuffo' nothin' else seems t'be diffrunt regardin' th' no'mal happenin's of our loop, an' ah cain't brin' mahse'f t'care. So no. Ah refuse t'go through this, this, this hyar Gag Loop enny mo'e."
"Whut in tarnation is a 'Gag Loop'?"
"Loops like this hyar thet jest doesn't make sense. Now, is yo' a-gonna he'p me build a Rocket Trailer t'go t'th' moon an' git away fum th' stoopidity of this hyar Gag Loop o' not?
"Eh, whuffo' not? Better than tryin' t'make sense of whut is cornsidered fashion aroun' hyar."
109.2 (Bardic Knowledge)
Twilight and her Awake friends rushed to Canterlot at Celestia's summons. It was around the time of Discord's usual escape, but there hadn't been any chaos, so she was a bit confused (thinking, for a brief moment, that this was one of those variants where Celestia and Luna outright killed him). Other than Ganondorf's little vacation, a little chaos was typical for a Discord-replacement.
"Twilight, thank goodness you're here. Hopefully we're not too late. The Destroyer of the Skies has awakened."
"The Destroyer of the Skies?" Dash looked worried at the prospect.
"A fearsome monster of stone and crystal from an unknown land. It bears an unnatural hatred for all winged things. Over a thousand years ago, Luna and I neutralized it with the Elements of Harmony, freezing it in place and barely saving the life of a pegasus it had been attacking." There was the usual speech about getting the Elements and going after the Destroyer, as Twilight tried to puzzle out who it was replacing Discord this time around...
Meanwhile...
Mac's Bar had seen its share of odd patrons (it was inevitable with customers like Discord and the draconequified Silver Spoon), but when the doors slammed open and a eight-foot-tall humanoid of rock stomped in, Big Mac was temporarily taken aback.
"You. Barkeep," it rumbled. "I hear this bar has a drink for everyone. I need one now."
Big Mac quickly sidled aside for Berry to work her magic. Which was surprisingly literal for this drink, requiring an ascension to mix magic into the liquid. As the creature of stone emptied the ethereal drink from its glass, the rainbow of crystals across its arms and back glowed brighter. As a thousand years more of birds and their... leavings... was difficult to excise from memory, another drink was ordered.
"Oh, it is good. I will have to recommend its bar to Justice. It is difficult for it to get drunk when it is a possessed corpse." Another drink was put on the bar. "I am Shale, by the way. What does it call itself?"
109.3 (Sieses Detkrah)
“Twilight?”
“Nope.”
“Huh?”
“Sunset,” the purple pony clarified. “I think Twilight and I literally swapped roles this time around, sorry Rarity.”
“I’m Sweetie,” the white unicorn clarified back.
“Oh,” Sunset blinked. “Wonder who the others are, then?”
“Only one way to find out!”
109.4 (FanOfMostEverything)
Twilight frowned at the guest Looper. "You're absolutely sure about this?"
The stallion nodded. "I'm not on my own all that often, and I want to see how far I've come."
"I can appreciate that, but Tirek isn't a toy. He rendered the entire population of Equestria powerless in the baseline, and between the late Awakening and the two of us being the only ones Awake, he's probably done it again." Twilight shook her head. "I just don't think you've thought this through."
"All I ask is a chance to prove myself, Twilight."
She stomped a hoof and glared at him. "Prove what? To whom?"
"To myself. To my brother. To the world." He offered a weak smile, one that didn't reach his eyes. "Besides, you'll be there to bail me out if all else fails, right?"
"If it weren't for all the powerless ponies in Tirek's wake..." Twilight sighed. "Yeah, I probably would. Good luck."
This got a chuckle. "It'd be nice."
Tirek sneered at Discord. "You've helped me grow strong, you've provided the means by which I can obtain Princess Twilight's magic, and now you are no longer of any use to me."
A plaid cascade flowed from draconequus to centaur, and the latter grew to his full, terrible majesty.
"Ahem."
All eyes turned to a green earth stallion, approaching from the direction of Ponyville. He was glaring at Tirek at an intensity of at least 0.6 Stares.
Tirek was not impressed. "Insignificant wretch. Not a spark of magic will escape me!" His mouth yawned wide.
Yet not a spark of magic was consumed. "What?" Tirek cast his gaze about.
"Let me tell you a story."
The centaur flinched. The voice was right next to his ear. "Get off of me!" He swatted at the pony.
The pony who leapt like an exuberant Pinkie Pie, thus causing Tirek to whack himself in the head. The stallion landed next to Tirek's other ear, where he continued. "My brother, he began with fire, and he stuck with it. He is like fire. Bright. Eager." A chuckle. "Hungry. A great friend, and a great foe. But it was not for me. It never felt right. My flames were green, unnatural things. Strange, alien wisps that felt no pull from gravity. That did not belong."
Tirek had, by this point, tried to get rid of the pesky pony at least five times. Going by touch, the stallion hadn't moved, and yet every swipe missed.
"So I branched out. Electricity satisfied me for a time. It is something of a brother to fire, after all. But I could tell my full potential did not lie there."
All this babble of fire and lightning brought Tirek's magic to mind. But no, he was still digesting Discord's roiling chaos energy. There was no telling what an errant blast might do to him.
"It was some time before I admitted the truth to myself. My brother and I are different in so many ways. Wide and thin, short and tall, certain and doubtful… it is only natural that we be light and dark."
"Prattle on much longer," Tirek grumbled, "and the two of you will be alive and dead. Only one pony can possibly stand in my way now, and you are not her. What do you hope to accomplish?"
"Against you?" And now the hoofed flea's tone shifted from conversational to condemning. "You who forsook your own brother, who come from the darkness beneath the earth? I oppose you with the darkness within me. A darkness that prophecies claimed would be the end of all existence. They were wrong. You are wrong."
"Bold talk." Tirek grinned despite himself. At least the snack had some mettle. "Who are you, to boast so?"
"Who am I?"
The stallion pushed off, and Tirek nearly staggered from the force. He looked up and wondered where the nuisance was hiding his wings. The question only grew in Tirek's mind as black lightning lashed at him. Not strong enough to hurt, but strangely cold. Worse, it smelled totally inedible.
The pony landed right between Tirek's horns, and the impact made the centaur sink a few inches into the ground. It hurt like nothing had any right to hurt. Not with so much power at hand. Not after so much time.
"Who am I? I am Luigi. Number one."
109.5 (Zetrein)
Something everyone realizes, eventually, is that if you Loop long enough, certain patterns begin to emerge. In baseline or variants, some things just go together; the Ruler, the Student, and the Thousandth Year, for example.
But then there are other patterns. What might have been rumors and misconceptions in baseline, could easily find themselves to be real, for a given loop. Scootaloo's variable parenthood, some of what revolves around Nyx, the occasional strange loop involving the changelings.
For Celestia, the pattern of this kind she encounters most often, involves her relationship with Twilight. In baseline, there were more than a few misinformed visitors who mistook Twilight as her daughter, to say nothing of all the rumors and tabloids. As one might imagine, Twilight's ascension brought all that back to the surface, for a while.
And so it goes, Celestia sometimes found herself Twilight's mother, for a given loop; most often in secret, but occasionally publicly, and sometimes something in between. It wasn't limited to just Twilight either, a memorable example being the loop where she was Scootaloo's parent.
But parent or teacher, at the end of the day Celestia had thousands of years of experience in raising Twilight. Ditzy had pointed out to her, some time ago, that it gave her some common ground with herself and Berry. Those conversations had been a nice bonding experience between the three of them.
Still, no matter how well she knew Twilight, both as a filly and a mare, alicorn filly Twilight always managed to surprise her, somehow. These were Celestia's thoughts, as she stared at the wreckage of her study. In four hours, Twilight had her CSGU entrance exam, same time as she always did. Three minutes ago, Rainbow Dash shattered the sky with her Rainboom; something she resolved to look into, later.
Turning from the hole in the wall, Celestia looked at her daughter, and the little grey earth pony hiding behind her. Twilight knew she was in trouble, and the earth pony she was playing with at the time thought she was as well.
"Twilight," Celestia began, removing her hoof from her face. "I honestly didn't expect to give you the 'Sapient Creations Talk' for another decade. You're not in trouble for that, though I'll need to check your friend, and make sure there's nothing wrong with her."
Leaning to the side, to look more directly at the grey pony hiding behind Twilight, Celestia gave the mismatched eyes a gentle smile. "I suppose I should say welcome to the family, Smarty Pants."
With both fillies showing small smiles now, Celestia turned back to Twilight. "Oh, one last thing, dear." Celestia pointed at her flank. "Congratulations, Twilight."
As Twilight danced around in a circle in celebration of her cutie mark, half dragging Smarty Pants along with her, Celestia started taking a closer look at what was left of her study. As her walk reached the hole in the wall, she peered out to see what had befallen her favorite chair. It appeared to have been broken across Discord's head, with the cushion impaled on Discord's stony horns.
"Twilight?" The fillies looked over to her. Now that she could see the former doll properly, Smarty Pants looked to be about three quarters Twilight's size. "After your cuteceañera, you're grounded."
"Awwww, Mom!"
109.6 (Draconas)
It was right before World War Two.
Discord was on trial in a courtroom, with stitches joining his parts together. Given this was Discord, the judge's bench was on the upper corner, the witness booth was floating in the middle of the room, and the jury box was five seconds in the future.
"Discord Frankenstein, you stand accused of crimes against the Axis Powers, including but not limited to shaving Hitler's mustache off before beating him up with a giant swastika, making fart jokes about kamikazes, and turning Benito Mussolini into a giant face. How do you plead?" The judge intoned.
"Already absolved!" Discord cried, everyone gasping in surprise.
"As you can see, on the Anti-Comintern pact," here Discord pulled said pact out before putting it under a giant microscope "the molecules here are in the shape of letters, and they are arranged into words. Could someone please read what it says?"
A member of the jury read it, after the five second delay for the rest of the world to catch up to them."Discord Frankenstein is hereby absolved of all crimes committed against any signatory of this document."
"And that's how I prevented World War Two!" Discord explained, drinking a water of glass. "Since I had total immunity to punishment by the Axis Powers, they had to get rid of that document. Which meant they were no longer allies."
"But why were you Discord Frankenstein?" Berry Punch asked.
"Oh, I was Frankenstein's monster. That's how I ended up so far back." Discord explained.
After a moment, Twilight decided to just take what she could get. At least he'd prevented World War Two, rather than simply adding chocobo cavalry or something...
109.7 (FanOfMostEverything)
Twilight blinked as she Awoke, then took in the scene before her. She was in one of the practice rooms of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, but no younger than usual. Even stranger was what she was doing there. "Why am I hitting old arcade cabinets with a golf club?"
"The better question, my faithful cheat," came a voice both serene and snarky, with just a hint of a Hisponic accent, "is why have you stopped hitting old arcade cabinets with a golf club?"
Twilight turned to the source of the voice. A vaguely familiar humanoid clad in black pants, red shoes and boxing gloves, and a golden crown looked back, Celestia's luxurious mane flowing out the back of his luchador mask. After a moment of confusion, she recalled from a blend of Loop memories and past experience that that was actually his face. She dipped her head. "Sorry, Prince Strongbadis. I had trouble awakening this morning."
The Prince of Awesome and Also Equestria He Guesses quirked an eyehole/brow. "Oh? You seemed more than capable but a moment ago." His mouth curled into a small, sly smile that had no business being on his face. "You'll never get that pizza at this rate."
Nice as pizza sounded, there were probably more pressing concerns. "Um, Your Highness, not to be presumptuous, but isn't your sis— brother due to return from the moon soon?"
Strongbadis considered this for a moment before bursting into laughter that was just a bit louder than decorum permitted. "Oh, Twizzler," and here Twilight's Loop memories told her this was meant as a term of endearment, "Prince Soolnda may have been sulking on the moon for almost a millennium, but I assure you, he won't be coming down any time soon."
Twilight dipped her head again. "As you say, Your Highness."
"And I do say. Now, back to your postgraduate crap-out-of-beating studies."
Well, if nothing else, it would be nicely cathartic. Twilight Sparkle, personal student-minion of Prince Strongbadis and magna cum laude of Crazy-Go-Nuts University, saluted her sovereign with the battered nine-iron. "We who are about to whack the everloving crap out of video games salute you!"
109.8 (Drachefly)
Applebloom banged her head against the wall of her newly-remade Apple Family Underground Bunker and exclaimed, "Aaargh!"
"What?" asked Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara (Sweetie Belle was not awake, and in the absence of being tormented by Diamond Tiara would probably do fine).
"You know how sometimes you think of something you ought to have said, only the loop's over, and it's not a conserved event so it's not going to come up again?"
They nodded.
"And you know when you get that feeling and the thing your brain is telling you you should have said doesn't even fit?"
They nodded.
"Remember the game a few loops back with the most minor variant?"
Scootaloo squinted. "I guess so? That was, like, fifty years ago for me."
Diamond Tiara shook her head, "I don't remember that - my last Equestria loop was fifteen thousand years ago. But I know what you're talking about. Like, everything's the same except my hair is a little darker?"
"Except that this variant had to drive you nuts."
"Ah, that game. Like when Luna trashed a wing of the palace because the rule for when to put the apostrophe in 'its' was inverted?"
"Yeah, like that. So, I just remembered the time that the only difference was that 'ancestor' had an 'ih' sound."
Silence fell.
"Yeah, I can see why that'd do it. If it came up." said Scootaloo.
"Well, this was one that didn't fit, right? It just caught me by surprise when I thought someone said Granny Smith was my sister."
Heads cocked. Diamond Tiara squinted and said, "What? But... how? That's a big stretch."
"Nothing odd about it - she was my 'ancistor', just like usual."
"Ooooooh."
109.9 (Drachefly)
TK-421 woke up and rubbed the back of his head. The sensor tech had called for some help, and then... he couldn't remember. He did remember the freighter. His armor had been removed. He could find no sign of the techs or his partner.
He got up, made his way to the cockpit and looked out. Complete darkness. He fired up the nav computer and checked the logs.
Odd. The last thing it remembers is landing on the Death Star. Am I in a cargo hold in the Death Star? I guess I could have been missed. This is going to be embarrassing when I get back to the squad.
He went to the exit ramp. The safety interlock said the ship was not landed; he didn't override. Not landed? Where am I and how could I have gotten here? I have a bad feeling about this.
There was a sudden change in light from the cockpit, and he heard voices on the other side of the ramp. It's not landed, so this shouldn't be opening. He pressed his ear to it and listened.
"... barely got it pocketed in time. I'm going to have some words with him. Just because you're an anchor and good at Protego doesn't mean you can survive direct hits from an anti-materiel blaster cannon more than a few times in a row."
I don't know that language, and that tone doesn't sound like a prisoner's, so I'm not on the Death Star. I definitely heard 'direct hits something anti-materiel blaster cannon'. Maybe this is a rebel repair crew? This isn't supposed to happen! The ramp began lowering, and only then did TK-421 notice that the interlock no longer indicated a non-landed fault. He tried to get up, but the jerky motion and constrained space left him flatfooted.
The orange and purple alien at the bottom of the ramp regarded him with surprise, then consternation. "Aww, sumac. I knew I was forgetting something."
"What?", asked a yellow and red alien as it came into view. "Ooh."
Twilight Sparkle relaxed into her own bed for the first time in eight subjective years - not a long span, but long enough that it was a special pleasure. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had offered to take care of Nightmare Moon, Spike had his own plans, she wasn't a princess, and didn't even have homework, so her day was empty.
A knock on the door broke it, of course.
She got up and started down the stairs, calling out, "Come in!"
Scootaloo walked in, followed by a human. Twilight froze, thought, and momentarily placed the face. She shifted to thinking in Imperial Basic and evenly said, "Hello, TK-421. Welcome to Equestria." To Scootaloo, she said, "Careless anchor, you wanted to save the Falcon, dragged him along?"
Scootaloo nodded.
Twilight sighed. "What have you told him?" She resumed descending.
Scootaloo thought. "We have magic. Resistance is pointless. There is no Empire... anything else?"
TK-421 added, "Watch out for the aqua-colored one."
Twilight Sparkle considered. "Since you brought him here against his will by means that are... not really something we want to encourage, I am considering assigning you to take care of him. Teach him any language he asks for, or translate if he doesn't feel like learning. If he wants a banana split for breakfast every morning, you get it, and you help him with the stomachache afterwards as best you can. If he takes a hike in the Everfree, you guide him and keep him safe. Any harm he causes to anypony, you caused - but you can't unduly restrain him. Does this seem fair to you?"
Scootaloo bit her lip and nodded.
She turned to the human. "And you? I understand if you'd rather it not be her, or if you would rather set out on your own."
TK-421 was stunned. "No... I... ah."
After five seconds of no response, Scootaloo muttered, "Making choices for himself? Way outside his training."
Twilight gave him a few more seconds before declaring, "All right, how about we do that. If you're unhappy with it, come ask me and I'll work something out."
109.10 (Drachefly)
"I don't need it to be big. A grain of sand would be enough." Captain Zelnick tried his best to look sternly at the 3 meter tall crystal shimmering with electrical energy who went by the name of 'Diamond Tiara', who had elected to part with the other Chenjesu and join him in his fleet, since she was really a pony. "I could really use having those blueprints from day 1."
He looked aside to Silver Spoon, who had similarly abandoned the other Mrnmhrm; she whirred and spun before replying, "A pocket is hard to develop in a science-based setting, compared to magic-based settings." Her voice sounded odd, a natural young feminine voice coming from a telescoping robot with no other features analogous to any living thing he could think of.
Zelnick retorted, "This world has telepathic reading, mind control, and clairvoyance. I've heard of mountains made of thoughts. What more do we need?"
"Telekinesis would help. Being a species with affinity to any of those things would help more."
With a spark, Diamond Tiara activated her voice synthesizer. "OF COURSE WE CAN TRY. IT WILL TAKE A LONG TIME, THOUGH - MULTIPLE LOOPS. PERHAPS THE MOST USEFUL THING WOULD BE TO FIND THE LOCAL FIGURES WHO ALREADY KNOW ENOUGH TO HELP YOU PRACTICE."
"Yup. Then we'll drill the parts they don't know into you."
Zelnick swallowed. "This is going to involve learning from the Pkunk, isn't it? Joy."
"Yes, and if you can convince them, the Arilou. But I think you should start with the Syreen."
Zelnick considered. "Well, if there was anything I could do that would convince the crew it's okay to take a year and a half or so off from this war, it's shore leave with the Syreen."
Diamond Tiara again crackled with electricity, to say, "DO NOT 'FORGET' TO MOVE ON TO THE PKUNK AND ARILOU."
"All right, all right!"
109.11 (Kris Overstreet)
Wandering around the usual Welcome-to-Ponyville surprise party, Twilight notice Derpy Hooves slumped against a bookshelf in the background, holding a plate with an untouched muffin on it. Asking the pardon of her unAwake friends, the purple unicorn walked over to the cross-eyed pegasus and asked, "What's the matter?"
"I lost my Exaltation," Derpy sighed.
"Where, under a couch?" Twilight grinned. "Did you leave it in the dirty clothes? Or maybe you put it in the icebox. I do that sometimes with books."
Derpy's cock-eyed expression grew as serious as it was ever possible for Derpy to manage. "No, really, Twilight. No more being Solar. It's gone."
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "I thought it was impossible for you to lose that. I checked you myself. No Limit, remember? "
"Because I never worried. But the last Loop I had, you weren't Awake- we must have had a stealth Anchor. And I happened to think: Everything is so easy now. Am I going to get bored with this? And then I started worrying about getting bored."
"Huh. Well..." Twilight pulled a PADD out of subspace and flipped through its memory to the role-playing game based on the Exalted universe. "Shouldn't you have had, I dunno, a saving throw or something?"
"I don't remember clearly," Derpy said. "If I did, I think I failed it really, really bad. It was like all the derps I avoided struck at once, starting with my mind." She rubbed her temple with one hoof and added uncertainly, "I think I remember saying at one point, 'The Muffins Shall Last Forever.'"
"Oooooooooh shoot," Twilight muttered.
"And I woke up this morning here in Ponyville with a note and a photo clipped to my mail bag." Derpy pulled both out. The photo was taken from orbit; if Equestria had been a country on a planet-sized muffin, now Twilight knew what the muffin would look like. The note attached said, That's quite enough of that, sorry. - Sleipnir
"Well... look at the bright side," Twilight said. "Now you don't have to worry about worrying anymore, right?"
"Huh?" Derpy looked confused. "No, no, no! I'm not upset about not being Exalted anymore!" She pointed to the muffin world. "Apparently I did that... and I don't remember even taking a single bite! A muffin as big as the world... gone to waste..." The blonde pegasus sighed disconsolately, looked at the normal sized muffin on her plate, and began to nibble on it without enthusiasm.
"Ooooo.... kay." Twilight backed slowly away.
As if I needed a reminder that every pony in this town is crazy...
109.12 (Kris Overstreet)
"SURPRISE!"
Most of Ponyville crowded in the Golden Oaks, as usual, for Pinkie's usual Welcome-to-Ponyville-Twilight-Sparkle party.
Most of Ponyville and, over in the corner, one other.
Ah, Twilight thought, that's where the other ping came from. "Welcome to Equestria," Twilight greeted the visiting Looper. "I'm honored to have you in my library."
The figure held up a very large burlap sack, currently empty except for the banana held in the same grip. "Ook. Ook eek ook," he said urgently.
"So you heard about Tirek. Well, thank you very much," Twilight said, "but the problem's more or less under control now. All the books are backed up long before that part of the baseline. I even keep a card catalog in case of Loop-specific variant-"
"EEK ook ook! Ooook ook" The strange figure's gestures became more urgent.
"I agree, no harm in redundancy. I'm just saying there's plenty of time, and right now isn't the best-"
"Oooooook."
"Well, yes, better safe than sorry, but could you at least wait until Pinkie serves the cake before you start emptying the shelves?"
"It's banana upside-down cake!" Pinkie Pie added, popping out over Twilight's shoulder just long enough to announce the fact before bouncing off elsewhere.
"Oook ook." The red-furred figure dropped the sack while retaining his grip on the banana. With an awkward swaying gait it shambled towards the refreshments table.
Not for the first time, Twilight Sparkle wondered if there was any way short of improper Admin interference to speed up the Looper grapevine. Helpfulness was nice, and every bibliophile in the Loops was honored to host the Librarian... but....!
Memo to self: buy extra towels, and put the town plumber on permanent retainer for the clogs...
And ask non-Awake Applejack if she has any cousins in the banana trade that sell in bulk.
109.13 (Masterweaver)
"Wait, are these backwards?"
Berry Punch rolled her eyes. "Nope! I don't have a horn, so I'm throwing him."
The official glanced up from the papers, face screwed up in confusion. "Usually it's the stallion that does the throwing–"
"We're progressive thinkers," Discord interrupted smoothly. "Didn't you accept Trixie and Chrysalis?"
"...well, yes, I suppose, but–"
"Is there anything illegal with our paperwork?" Berry demanded.
"No, it's just that this is a spectator sport!" The official threw up his hooves. "You've got to have presence as well as skill!"
"Well, I'm the spirit of chaos and she's a crazy drunk," Discord offered. "We'll be the wacky team that nobody understands."
"...actually... actually, yes, that just might work...."
109.14 (Masterweaver)
"Twilight?"
"Ugh. Yes Rarity?"
"Why is Celestia a smelly cloud-hopping shipper that never seems to go on a date herself?"
"I blame the booze."
109.15 (Masterweaver)
Filthy Rich adjusted his tie as the carriage rolled to a stop and stepped out, smiling as the school bell rang. A crowd of foals emerged from Cheerilee's humble little building, and through them he caught sight of his little princes.
...who was, apparently, more of a princess than usual.
After a moment of staring, Rich managed to regain control of himself and step forward. "Ah, Diamond? Why, exactly, do you have wings and a horn?"
Diamond Tiara blushed. "Well, you see, I had a two-for-one coupon..."
109.16 (via Masterofgames)
Dash tried, once again, to stuff her shoes into her bulging locker. "Tree damn it... didn't think this through when I decided to take all those sports clubs at once."
She sat back, sighing, then contemplated the four pairs of shoes. Track, spiked, indoor and a pair of walking boots for the hill-climbing. Yes, Canterlot High had a hill-climbing club. This time, anyway.
"Maybe I should just-"
Pinkie gasped. "No, Dashie, no! You can't do that!"
Dash looked up. "Why not? I've got easily enough space!"
"You can't put shoes in your pocket, Dashie!"
"Okay." Dash rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I'll bite. Why can't I?"
Pinkie beamed. "Shoes have soles!"
After a pause, Dash pulled her locker open, and grabbed her towel as the rest spilled out. Then she threw the towel at Pinkie.
109.17
Spike yawned, stretched, and checked for other loopers.
First off, his Loyalty power. Reaching for that, and with a moment's rush of warmth through his body as the magic reminded him how he'd earned it in the first place, he checked in mentally on each of his friends.
Okay. Rarity, and... huh. Just Rarity.
That was unusual. Presumably there was an Anchor somewhere – a stealth Anchor, possibly, but it was hard to tell – and since Twilight was her usual self from the baseline, there was no immediate indication that anything would go differently whatsoever.
A quick ping received only one reply – Rarity's, of course – so it looked like it probably was stealth Anchor time.
Finishing his early-loop check, Spike sat down and wrote a letter. It was short, and finished by the time Twilight arrived, so he didn't have to explain it to her.
Twilight was her usual flustered self, insisting that Nightmare Moon would be a potential danger – quite accurate, of course – and had Spike write a letter. He did so, then sent both it and his other missive off in two bursts of dragonfire.
Celestia's reply arrived quite promptly, and sent Twilight off to Ponyville as usual. While Twilight was grumbling about this, Spike burped discreetly and snatched another reply out of the air.
“Has she sent another reply, Spike?” Twilight asked, voice hopeful.
“Nope, sorry,” Spike answered, and managed quite a convincing hiccup. “I think I just ate too much earlier....”
“Oh.” Twilight wilted slightly, then got on with packing.
While she was trying to choose which twenty books to take with her as light reading, Spike unfolded the second reply and scanned through it.
Agreed. See you soon, love.
He smiled, then went over to remind Twilight that there'd be a library where she was going.
It was nostalgic, watching as the events of the baseline played out all over again.
Pinkie Pie was as excited as ever, of course, and Fluttershy had the same I-don't-want-to-offend-anybody attitude which had earned her the Element of Kindness in the first place. Dash was – well, Dash, and Applejack's family just as pleasant as ever.
Things went a little different in the Boutique, though.
“And...” Twilight consulted her list. “This is Rarity, who's doing the decorations. I hope she can sort out my hair...”
The door opened to Twilight's polite knock.
“Good afternoon, and welcome to the-” Rarity began, then trailed off. “Hello.”
Spike looked up at her, and blushed. (It wasn't hard – she was, after all, someone he was looking forward to meeting. Quite a lot.) “Um... hi.”
“Spike?” Twilight asked. “Spike! Twilight to Spike are you alright?”
Spike ignored her. On the outside, at least. Inside he was trying not to giggle.
“I'm sorry about this,” Twilight said to Rarity. “He sometimes gets like this with a unicorn from the Academy...” Twilight finally realized that Rarity wasn't listening either. “Okay, what's going on?”
“You're beautiful,” Spike finally said, in a distant tone. “Marry me?”
Twilight looked at him incredulously.
“Of course,” Rarity replied. “Tomorrow?”
Twilight transferred her look of shock to the Ponyville unicorn. “Za?”
“Why wait?” Spike asked.
“Okay, okay, okay. WHAT?” Twilight's mane toinged out. “Am I the only one who has no idea what's going on?”
“Yes!” both Loopers said in unison.
“It's love at first sight,” Spike added.
“Indeed it is, darling,” Rarity replied. “Oh, what's your name?”
“Spykoranuvellitar.” The syllables rolled off Spike's tongue. “And you, beautiful?”
Rarity giggled. “Rarity Belle, handsome.”
Twilight gaped for a second, then swallowed. “Okay, I-” A pause. “Can you-” Pause. “At least get to know one another!”
The two stared at one another for a few seconds, then Spike reluctantly tore his eyes away. “Do we have to?”
The plea had just the right plaintiveness to make the whole situation even more ridiculous. Out of the corner of his eye, Spike saw that Rarity was barely restraining a giggling fit.
“Yes!” Twilight began to walk up and down between them. “First, you'd actually proposed to her before you even knew her name! Second, you've known her for less than, what, three minutes? Third, she doesn't know you either, fourth you're nowhere near sixteen-”
“Okay, fine,” Spike agreed, sighing hugely. “Want a date this evening, Rarity?”
“My pleasure,” Rarity replied instantly. “Dinner and a dance?”
“The pleasure's all mine,” Spike protested. “Done. Seven?”
“Suits me.”
Twilight looked back and forth, then threw up her forelegs. “I don't even know what's going on any more.”
“That was hilarious,” Spike said later, over pudding.
“Indeed,” Rarity agreed, before another spoonful of meringue.
“Think we can keep it up all loop?”
Before answering, Rarity dabbed at her mouth with a napkin. “I feel certain of it,” she replied with a smile.
“What are you writing?” Twilight asked, peering over at Spike.
“Poetry,” Spike replied, before balling up one of the sheets of paper, throwing it in a metal bin by his desk and setting light to it for good measure. “I'm trying to write Rarity a love poem, but it's not going well.”
Twilight managed to avoid a sigh at the reminder of Spike's 'mutual crush' which had appeared out of nowhere, but it was close. “Really? How 'not well'?”
“Not soppy enough,” Spike informed her. “Hmmm... perhaps something about 'sober pools of limpid blue surrounded by your eyelashes that shimmer like ebony fire?'”
The conversation paused for a minute, as Twilight tried to reconcile the ultraviolet prose she'd just heard... from her assistant.
“Um, okay...” she said, tentatively. “Why do you want to write something that soppy?”
“Because that way, we can laugh about it on our next date,” Spike replied matter-of-factly. “It's a hobby.”
“Sis, are you okay?” Sweetie Belle asked. “You've been doodling for the last half hour on your ideas notebook.”
“Oh, I'm fine, Sweetie,” Rarity replied, in an airy voice. “I'm just... in love...”
Sweetie blinked. “Okay. Who is it? Is it a duke or an actor?”
“Nothing so superficial.” Rarity smiled. “Handsome, yes, but so much more than that. A cultured drake, a dragon of many talents, a knight, with pen and sword in accord, with a soul of slow fire!”
“Er... okay,” Sweetie said. “Sure.”
“This dragon bothering you, babe?” Spike asked, walking into the dragon cave.
“I'm afraid he's being an awful lout, dear,” Rarity agreed gratefully. “If you would be so kind?”
The dragon frowned down at him. “What is this? A baby dragon who loves ponies?”
“One pony in particular, thank you very much,” Spike returned. He and Rarity shared a fond look, then a kiss.
“Anyway,” Spike added, after he and Rarity were done for the time being. “You snore. Please stop, or else.”
The dragon sniggered. “Or else what?”
“Oh,” the dragon said, in the Frozen North. “I didn't know there was a kind of dragon that could do that.”
At least his treasure had been sent along with him.
“Sorry I couldn't get you a necklace, dear.” As they walked out of the cave, Spike passed over a half-dozen violets tied together with a cord. “I hope flowers will do.”
“Oh, how thoughtful!” Rarity selected one and nibbled a petal. “I was feeling peckish after the climb. You're so thoughtful.”
“I try,” Spike agreed.
“Oh, so modest!” Rarity reached up and gently pushed at his spines. “My spiky-wikey.”
He ran his claws through her mane. “Rarity-warity.”
They ignored the sound of Rainbow Dash loudly gagging in the background.
“Okay, even I think we're getting a bit treacly,” Rarity admitted. “We should probably just go ahead and show that you can age-shift.”
“Why even you?” Spike asked, raising an eyebrow. “What is it about you in this? Why can't it be even for me?”
“Well, you're a big manly dragon,” Rarity pointed out. “Though, admittedly, you're neither at the moment.”
“Low blow,” Spike chuckled, and poured the tea. “But a frilly apron doesn't deduct from my masculinity in the slightest!”
“And why not?” Rarity pressed.
“Because it's Nightmare Night,” Spike said. “I mean, I'm dressed up, so it doesn't count.”
“Neither of us have gone out for Nightmare Night,” Rarity argued.
“So?” Spike shrugged. “Still counts.”
There was a knock at the door.
“I'll get the sweets,” Spike volunteered, putting the teapot down. “You answer the door.”
When Rarity opened the door, it was to reveal Luna standing there.
“Oh!” Rarity blinked. “Well, your highness! It's an honour.”
“'TIS NOT A PROBLEM,” Luna boomed. “WE WISHED TO ask you a-”
She broke off, and tapped her throat. “What is this?”
“Sorry, darling.” Rarity indicated her horn. “It's a spell I use when Sweetie and her friends are being too loud – and I'm afraid you were most assuredly being too loud.” She shrugged. “Anyway, what was it?”
“Sweets are here!” Spike announced. “I – oh, Princess!”
Then he squinted. “Is that a-”
Luna frowned. “What is it you speak of?”
“Oh,” Spike frowned, and rephrased. “Is that a possum in your mane?”
“Ah! Thou dost mean Tibbers.” Luna reached onto her back and retrieved the pet. “He has been a boon companion of mine since shortly after my return to Equestria, ere my first public appearance.” She scratched Tibbers on the back, and he made something approximating a purr.
Spike held out the bowl. “Does Tibbers want a sweet?”
There was a blur, and six of the sweets in the bowl vanished.
Tibbers munched down one of the caramels, reclining lazily on Luna's hair.
“He is such a ragamuffyn, is he not?” Luna asked, smiling.
Spike and Rarity exchanged a glance. As with many couples, it was a whole conversation in one look.
“Come through here, Luna,” Rarity invited, stepping aside. “I'll help teach you some class, some culture. Spike can look after Tibbers.”
“Alright, little guy?” Spike asked. He shook the bowl. “You'll get more sweets!”
The possum hopped down from Luna's back as she and Twilight walked towards the back room.
“Impressive work, Admiral,” Spike began, as soon as the door had shut.
Tibbers looked up at him owlishly, then ignored the silly dragon and got back to his sweeties.
“Doesn't help, James,” Spike added. “I'm a Jedi, I can tell there's a sapient in there if I'm really trying.”
“Well... shoot.” James Tiberius 'Tibbers' Kirk, Starship Captain, Admiral of the Fleet (posthumous), more awards and demerits than you could shake a stick at, and part-time possum, abandoned the pretence. “How'd you know?”
“Bad luck on your part,” Spike replied. “Our normal Anchor isn't Awake, we're the only two here, and we know we didn't cause you to turn up. It could have been a variant, but... well, we were looking for an Anchor anyway.”
He grinned. “Don't worry, though, your secret's safe with us.”
'Tibbers' considered that, then nodded and made a familiar four-fingered salute. “Works for me.”
“No problem. Just – look out for Luna, okay?” Spike scratched the back of his neck. “She has a rough time of it before the baseline starts.”
“Oh, I know,” 'Tibbers' assured him. “I've been here plenty of times. One of my more common loops, actually.”
Spike absorbed that. “Huh. Well, you're supposed to be one for meeting all powerful space beings, I suppose.”
Rarity snuggled up to Spike as the others left.
“I think that went quite well,” she informed Spike. “We gradually reduced the power of the spell, and had her try not to get louder as the spell stepped down. She's only speaking firmly now.”
“Sounds good,” Spike agreed. “Oh – I was right about Tibbers. He's our guest anchor.”
“Good eye, Spiky-wikey!” Rarity pecked him on the cheek. “Who was it?”
“James T. Kirk,” Spike told her, with a broad grin.
Rarity blinked. “Okay, somehow I feel like that was obvious.”
She shook her head. “I had something to tell you, as well. I managed to wrangle these off Luna when Twilight needed the lavatory.”
They looked at the signed royal orders.
They shared a grin.
“What are you doing this time, Spike?” Twilight asked, as she walked into the main room. “Is that a parrot?”
“Phoenix,” Spike replied matter-of-factly. “Rarity and I found the egg on our expedition yesterday. It's a perfect way to carry my latest message to her!”
Peewee chirped, looking uncertainly at the asbestos-lined scroll case tied to his leg.
“Go find Rarity,” Spike instructed. “Go on!”
The little phoenix frowned, then erupted in flame and vanished.
“Good enough,” Spike pronounced.
With a crash, something came through the upstairs window.
The something turned out to be a large, blanket-wrapped bundle. The bundle in turn was a pair of pillows, wrapped around another blanket, wrapped around a sleeping bag, wrapped around an irate Opalescent.
Spike deftly retrieved a scroll from her back before she destroyed it, and skimmed through it. “Cool, we're getting married next week.”
Twilight tripped and fell over.
“What?” she asked, getting up again. “What did you just say?”
“Oh, right.” Spike passed it over. “Royal order, signed by Princess Luna, stating that Rarity Belle and Spykoranuvellitar may join in wedlock when the order is signed by both other parties, superseding all other laws.” So saying, he scribbled his name down on the sole free line. “Kind of funny, really, I just sent one to her...”
Twilight could only gape.
“...and then I realized,” Cadence continued, gesticulating wildly. “They're getting married in a week, we're getting married in a week... how to resolve the conflict?”
“I don't know, dear,” Shining Armor replied. “How to resolve the conflict?”
Cadence' voice took on a mellifluous quality. “Dou~ble wed~ding...”
Shining watched, with something that was not quite trepidation, as his lovely bride started dancing. On the wall.
“...so, anyway,” Rarity finished. “Given how much love Cadence naturally puts off, you're set for life if you can just stay around her. I have these lovely armours designed, so if you're ready to send the offer we can get you kitted out straight away.”
“And why, precisely, should I make the Changelings subservient to Equestria?” Chrysalis asked. “Especially personally to a single alicorn?”
“Well,” Rarity smiled. “One. Cadence doesn't have a guards corps, so there's a slot spare. Two. She can feed all of you, as I've mentioned. Three. She's getting married soon, as well you know, which is an excellent time for pageantry. And four. Under the feudal system which Equestrian nobility do still use, as direct vassals of a Princess you'd be the primary-ranked noble in Equestria short of them themselves... and your wellbeing would become her responsibility.”
Chrysalis pondered that, considering her desperate situation. Her dwindling resources. Her pride. And the clear, melodious sincerity of the unicorn before her.
“...all right. Give me that paper.”
“Well, that worked out rather better than I was expecting,” Spike admitted, as the Love Guard made formation and marched counterstep across the state, revealing their new liege to her groom. “Job well done, I think.”
“Of course,” Rarity replied, pouring herself some champagne. “Solving problems through fashion is my speciality.”
109.18
“Okay,” Vinyl began. “So, I made this sound deck which repeats things using tape loops, and then this one takes that, transcribes it onto a record, then reads it off straight away just to get the purely authentic crackle, and this one will constantly monitor the results from the unbiased point of view of a purely mathematical algorithm dedicated to finding better music, and this one-”
“I get the point,” Octavia interrupted. “It plays great music. Right. What happens if you switch it all on?”
Seeing Vinyl glance over at the controls, Octavia gestured. “Go on, I'm honestly curious now.”
“Well... sure.” Vinyl tapped a few switches, then moved the power control to on.
The whole edifice creaked for a few seconds, then began to produce sound.
“...well, it's very nice,” Octavia said, after a few minutes. “But what's a submarine, why is it yellow, and who are all living in it?”
Vinyl gave her new machine a scowl. “I'm going to need to give this thing another look over.”
It certainly wasn't supposed to just play Beatles hits, and she hadn't worked out how to stop it yet...
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Wow. 1.13 million and change words. That's almost as much as Diaries of A Madman. Looks like I have something new to read.
Discord approves of the name. I love this fic, I always go here If I want a large dose of humor, randomness, and generally what the buckery.
Sale would love Poisoning Piegons In The Park.
As for that last loop, Yellow Submarine. Why the hell not. Why the hell not.
That was bad pun Pinkie. You would feel bad for it. Ah who am I kidding, I loved it!
Wonder what would happen if Cheese Sandwich met Maud? He'd probably sing his own rendition of Smile Darn Ya Smile.
2 new chapters?! Yay!
Gotta get to sleep so I can be well rested for tests and probably try playing League of Legends while also trying to finish off another chapter of a story with blackouts and various internet failures? Dang.
4723715
Yeah, it's all kinda snowballed...
Do let me know what you think.
109.7 Everypony to the Limit
4724437
The trio of dragons with human names were from the Blytonverse (they've shown up in the Loops before). Storm is from Storm of Wings and the other Hal Kailas books (again, he's shown up before). Mnementh is from Pern, Draycos from Dragon and Thief, and I think that's all of them.
As for the other one, it's basically a Fallout: Equestria reference. Either you get it or you don't, AIUI.
Three things:
1) I want to see a Chocobo cavalry at some point now;
2) When Derpy loses her exaltation, Twilight might want to keep an eye on her - Loopers have a tendency for their insanity cup to overflow, and she seems to be taking it remarkably well...
Just something to keep in mind;
and
3) Given the canon possibilities of L-Space, I'm hoping to see a council of looping librarians at some point...
whoo... that was a huge brick of loops. And we finally got Borderlands into the MLP side of the Loops! I think Claptrap may be looping, and just totally unaware of it...
Also, Spike & Rarity's solution to the Changeling Invasion was one of my favorites, for how well it works.
Minor issue: The end tag of the underline (used for emphasis on the word "good") was shifted to the end of the sentence in Shale's snip.
109.12, was that DK?
4725399 No, it was The Librarian.
There is one universe in particular that I wish the Loopers tackle head on.
The Berserk Universe.
4725552 The problem with that would be all the extra work. I post this fic on three sites - here, Deviantart, and Fanfiction.net - and each one has different formatting for submissions. I've recently made streamlining changes that get it down to about an hour's effort per chapter.... so I'm not all that in favour of that creeping up again.
4723883
Crazy Go Nuts University was from the loop they fused with. FanOfMostEverything didn't make it up.
i i have an idea for a loop basecly its an exsetened loop mind if i pm it to u?
i i have an idea for a loop basecly its an exsetened loop mind if i pm it to u?
4726357 If they did, it wouldn't be in Equestria. It'd be in the Fallout 'verse, since Fo:E is technically a variant of Fallout more than one of Equestria.
4725583
Would it help if I could work with you to write appropriate output plugins for Pandoc? That's basically the whole point of it.
(You feed in a supported input format like HTML or Markdown and it'll convert to any supported output format... custom output writers for things like fimfic's dialect of BBcode can be written in Lua... which I happen to know.)
4728440 The format changes itself aren't the major part of it. (Going from one format to another takes a few minutes per.) It's the compiling side which is tricky (getting the loops together, approving the ones which should go in, checking them, and making sure they have the same structure), while two of the three sites I put it on don't even support inline links anyway.
You kind of had to be there for 109.14. Someone misinterpreted a word, commented on it, and the whole thing culminated in... well, that.
4724375
The Twi is to the limit! Everypony come on fhqwhgads!
109.4 IT'S LUIGI TIME MOTHERFUCKA!
4730096 ADHOSD?
New Challenger! Tirek!
Luigi VS Tirek
(thirty seconds later)
The winner is... Luigi!
Quest Question: What's the name of Big Mac's bar?
4732833
It doesn't really have a name, as such. They just refer to it as his bar.
4732842
Oh.
It needs a cool name. Like "The Future Past". Maybe
4732223
...and he won by doing nothing. Nothing at all.
Finally! I am all caught up! Looking forward to the next part.
4734812 Trixie and Chrysalis, eh?
You're in luck.
4735157
I did enjoy writing steampunk Narnia. There's something just inherently cool about hybrid ships, with steam engines and sails.
(Seriously, thanks for all the comments. I do enjoy comments.)
4735643
The story-telling intent of that loop was to show what "sanctuary loop" means, in the only way that really matters. And to show that the Equestrians are crazy second - they're caring first.
4737563
107.3 is Discord pretending that everyone used to be humans.
As for Bilbo, well, his protests were pretty obviously pro forma, I assume. A lot depends on how the actual looper is - if they do insist on, say, not leaving the house, that's fine. If they're stressed out, they're reminded it's a safe loop. If they're making token protests but clearly not actually as unwilling as they say they are, then it's a quick reminder that it's their choice followed by playing along.
4733376
images.wikia.com/thefakegees/images/archive/9/9b/20120620225035!WeegeeHead.png
Every darn time this updates, Worldy be like "Eeeeeeee! New Loops! New Loops!"
Now I just need to make time to watch HTTYD 2, then I can catch up on Saphroneth's other loops...
38.media.tumblr.com/849cfafc7d2145b316c7533cc56e881b/tumblr_mxf526A1Wg1qbfxn1o1_250.png
(Just pretend that's a pic of me dancing. I need to make some new emotes.)
More sicky comments! Woo for not being able to spread plague through the net.
109.1: Bwa?
109.2: I say again, bwa?
109.3: "Hello my name is" stickers for everyone!
109.4: Yaaaaayyy!!!
109.5: There needs to be more of this.
109.6: *grins and slowclaps*
109.7: Strong Bad improves everything
109.8: I need to reread this when I'm not sick ^^;
109.9: There needs to be some sort of pocket spell that prevents sapients from being taken. Also, Twilight you silly, he can't decide things.
109.10: but that's less amusing. Also, what's this from? Google has failed me.
109.11: Like Twilight's one to talk
109.12: Plus you get the benefit of being able to hang by your feet!
109.13: You've always got to have the wacky team.
109.14: I don't know whether to say congrats or ow...
109.15: *slowclaps*
109.16: Well you know how bad they are for spreading stories with those wagging tongues...
109.17: This is a beautiful thing...Who wrote it?
109.18: Just because it has excellent taste ^^
4740091
Anything without a name tag is written by me, as a general rule. So 109.17 was mine.
Glad you like it.
4738846
See the Mega Loops for further details on The Crash.
4742620 I can respect that.
Still think they've no right to complain after the last.
And the Love Guard? Interesting.
4740091
A bit of google-fu has told me, the Star Control series of games.
4762011 Merci beaucoup!
4766675
Which has nothing on 24.4 in my opinion.
4781240 I am, certainly.
You should see the HTTYD Loops. It's looking like most of set seven will be actually on Pern, and every single looping dragon there has spent enough time there to have the mindlink and Between as standard.
4789757
Four seconds? Please.
http://blip.tv/nostalgiacritic/distraction-6351528
4795010
Yeah, I was treating the series as Watership Down with Bats, and once we fell into actual Bat Hell with Bat Atilla I lost interest.
I'm sure Twilight is rather confused at this point as to why she's suddenly in the Boutique.
109.9: A few chapters ago, wasn't it supposed to be IMPOSSIBLE put anything alive in your subspace pocket? Or that's a rule admins sometimes forget to enforce? I am confused.
4881573
I believe it's more to do with the normal lack of air/time in the pockets. Considering we've seen a lot of trees and other 'living' organisms in them and there was the whole 'abandon universe' thing a while back (Something about Pinkie putting an extra ingredient into the MMMM, somewhere in the 60's?)
So 'possible' is a definite, it's more a question of how much damage it does to the living thing.
>shaving Hitler's mustache off before beating him up with a giant swastika
HUEHUEHUE
4881573
It's possible, but doing so to attempt to 'smuggle' someone into the next loop causes... problems. Or so I recall.