Gief moar liek rite nao.

Good, I could write a proper sentence that was understandable, but with every word written wrong

>>196705196705

Good news for you then, once my beta-reader is finished with chapter four, you'll have more to read.

>>196722196722

BUCK YEAH! THIS IS WHY I LOVE BRONIES AND PONIES AND.. FANFICS!

>>196727196727

Good News, I just finished with the chapter and I will now inform Seven about uploading it.

Interesting. Tracking and five stars! I like where this is going.

Woot?

I read it already

Celestia damn me, I wanted to waste more time.. So other fanfics can update

By the way, how comes this fic makes me feel like a child..? Like Warren

>>196954196954

Can't speak for you, but I tried to write Warren's perspective from the perspective of adult finding himself in a child's form. Maybe the perspective is too strong?

>>196983196983

I didn't mean it in a bad way Its actually.. Pretty refreshing and fun to read

>>199545199545

I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Like what I'm reading so far. Keep going. Your story has quality.

Y U MAIK ME CRAI

CRYING CAUSE OF A FIC MAKES ME MAD

Mad.. Yes.. All these bucking fictions that make me cry..

...

Can I buy Scoots wing? I got hungry all of sudden

If there was a sad Scootaloo emoticon, I'd use it. But there isn't, so here's Fluttershy instead:

I know, guys. Just bear with me.

DEAR GOD,WAREN IS DOOOOMMMMMED!To have a party set up by Pinkie Pie.

Idk, all stories need some form of tragedy.... hey atleast scoots didn't get torn/ripped to pieces by the wolves... she only lost a wing...

Congratulations for getting to Equestria Daily

Looking forwards to chapter 7

Very good story!  I was a little unsure about it at first but was genuinely surprised by how well it came together.  Keep it up!  I hope the other chapters are just as good or better!

His name is Warren?

God I hope there are some bunny rabbits in this.

Twilight, y u no ask his age

Great fan-fiction story right here. Reminds me of "Through the Eyes of Another Pony" (wonder why it hasn't been updated for a few months, hope the author gets around to continuing that D:), only this one takes a different approach. The emotions were easily discerned in the fan-fiction, and the only things I can say are: Keep up the good work, and keep up the writing!

Yaaaay, another favourite fanfic found!!!

This is good and you should feel good.

Thanks you everypony for your support. I only hope I can live up to your expectations as well.

I have to admit, I was rather disappointed by yet another HiE fic where humanity is portrayed as being the definition of bad/evil What is so evil about a man who would throw himself on a grenade to save three of his buddies? What is so evil about a man running into a burning building to save someone who he didn't even know? What is so evil about the woman who runs into the middle of a fierce firefight to shield a young kid, who had been caught in the middle of the crossfire, with her own body? What is so bad about the church that sends out its members to pick up homeless people, and bring them back to the church so that they can be fed, with no catch? I bet for every "evil" human out there, I could name five who are good. This has gotten to the point of being beyond cliche and is just being plain stupid. Anyone who just points out that humans are evil, without realizing all of the good humans do, just have their eyes closed and their hands over their ears while saying, "La la la, I can't hear you." It's pathetic [/rant]

Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. After reading around ten HiE fics in a row with that, I needed some form of release Lucky you, no? Onto the better, and more important, portion of the comment. Overall, I like the story. there weren't any noticeable spelling or grammar errors. I feel like I can relate to the MC, somewhat, and so far the characters haven't been noticeably OOC. This is also the first time I've ever seen an OC Draconequus, and a female one at that, so good job on that one.

This is actually very well done. I'm extremely interested in the way this'll all develop and turn out.

And now a word from the Beta-reader and part editor. Hello fillies, colts, mares and gentle-stallions, as you can tell by the name I am the editor and Pre-reader of this fiction.   I would just like to thank you all for the support of this fiction. To begin with it was just me and Seven working on this fiction with very few readers. The first chapter was originally made without me editing it, and once I had read it I became intrigued by the concept as for once the Main character, who was a HiE, was not a fan of the show, had no idea where or what he was, and unlike many others, was fairly weak as an unicorn. This made me want to take up pre-reading of the story and the chapters you see now and the efforts mainly down to Seven. To be honest a lot of the stuff I point out are just little grammar and spelling problems that are fixed within seconds, so even if I were not here the story would still be as awesome as it is now.

Now that, that introduction is out of the way. I will be available to answer any questions you wish to ask and I will try to answer them as long as they do not spoil future events, plots etc.

One of the best HiE stories I had the pleasure to read. Superb idea with a great execution. In short: MOAR!!!!

        “You called for me, Dr. Freemane?” ....

ugh... good story, thumbed up.

Love it!  more please!

Just keep doing what you do best, and it'll stay successful. Strive to break past goals, and make new goals for yourself to surpass, and you can't go wrong! :3

Good HiE fics are few and far between. Amazing...

Definitely tracking!

Only comment I have is perhaps you should make Celestia's letter italicized, just to keep consistency with the first chapter.

>>237399237399

Oh dear... What chapter is that in? I simply must fix that at once!

>>237425237425 If you didn't see it, chapter 3 (The Review was posted from that chapter )

>>237544237544

Sorry... Long night coupled with trying to focus on Chapter 7 left me a bit slow.

I honestly don't know what happened to the italics for that letter in the document. I could have sworn they were there, yet the Google Docs one also reflected a lack. I thank you for bringing it to my attention though. Problem rectified.

>>237560237560 Quality over quantity! I'd like too see this story actually end up with an ending. Not suck me into reading and then leave me stranded. THen

It have been said already in a different key, but let me introduce my disappointment with thoughtless "human - bad, pony - good" cliche. You're presenting your protagonist as a low intellect quick to jump to conclusions type. For small villages/towns mutual assistance with occasional outsider inclusion is not a rare phenomenon. It says nothing about general tendency for violence and can't be used as species description reference.

The way you've used this cliche is barely different from a copy and paste sequence. Some poor hurt soul introduces this escapist idea once and everyone proceeds to peruse it on a regular basis. Thankfully your version is negligibly short and I hope you won't return to it without actually devoting a thought to the whole matter.

Just finished reading all 6 chapters today, and I gotta say I like the story so far :)

MOAR!

i really enjoy this, wish you the best of luck with the rest!!!

>>236508236508 This is something I've thought a lot about.  With few exceptions, historical societies that are nowadays considered "bad" or "evil" have little different from our own.  People there are happy, most of the time, they love their families, look out for their friends, and do heroic deeds that are memorialized in poem and song.  But take any culture in Earthly memory and you could write volumes about wars, treaties, religions, trade, architecture, good deeds, innovations, bad deeds, crimes, legal systems, injustices, and still just scratch the surface of who the people involved in these events really were.

The whole "HiE" idea is based on the overgeneralities and sensationalism of outsiders.  

>>237703237703 You make a good point, and I hope our Mr. Ashford is able to look beyond the stereotypes of his culture, and the stereotypes others have of his culture (the actions of his own family notwithstanding).  It's something I've discovered, working in Retail: Even though People as a group aren't that impressive, Individuals are amazing.  

But everypony think for a moment.  You know what else is a "Humanity is Evil" fic? My Little Dashie.  I'm just saying there's hope for this tired old world yet.

>>241790241790

I think what Ghost was trying to get across, and this is part of my point as well, is that "Humanity is Evil" HiE fics are everywhere, and they're being written for the wrong reason.

This flavor of the genre is very escapist in that because it presents Equestria in a much better light than Earth, it reveals much about the author's fantasies, in that s/he would rather be in Equestria than on Earth. Now, that's not something to really criticize, because we've all fancied that at one point or another; it's what makes us bronies.

Ghost and I are in the same boat, in that we both think Earth is a pretty nice place to live. Yeah, sure we have pollution, murder, rape, theft, domestic violence, famine, vagrancy, etc, but we also have computers, medicine, spaceships, the Internet, you name it. I don't know about you, but I count all of those as pretty good things.  In the words of Firewall from Through the Eyes of Another Pony, "You have to take the good with the bad." All we're trying to do is say, "Give Earth a chance."

And personally, I don't think My Little Dashie is directly declaring humanity as "Evil". It is an escapist fantasy; that's the thesis of the story. But it doesn't outright establish such a theme. It doesn't talk about our totalitarian "democratic" government, our smog-choked air, or our crime-infested streets. It talks about a single melancholic human living in a ghetto with other downtrodden humans. It's discussing personal issues like having enough money to feed yourself—not societal issues like our faltering economy. You can imply all you want, but outside of the text, it's all perspective from there.

>>242058242058 I'm relatively new to the Herd, so I hadn't thought of your point about Escapism, but that makes a lot of sense.  I guess I overshot the point.  

My point about My Little Dashie wasn't necessarily the author's view of the world, but rather the ponies' view of the world.  Celestia was concerned she'd arrive to find Rainbow Dash corrupted, her spirit broken by the heartlessness she was sure ran rampant on this side of the 4th Wall.  And she was so surprised and pleased when she found in the narrator an outstanding example of Goodness and Love.  It struck me as a HiE philosophy viewed from the other side.

>>242164242164

>>242058242058

You should not assume things, at least not at this point in time, as the story is far from over and Warren has only just begun his journey.

I will point out though, that both me and SevenFates don't see Earth as evil and Warren's viewpoints are from his previous experiences, the first you have just witnessed.

I will hope you stay on and continue to read the chapters each week,

>>242257242257

I haven't read a single word of this story, as I don't have the time to read anymore. Ghost linked the comment thread to me in chat. I know him well enough that I trust his judgement. I've only inferred from what he's told me as well as from what I've seen in the comments.

FYI, the cover image leads me to believe that the MC is very angsty, and it only makes sense that he is so because of his past (as a human, I'm guessing). Now, because the synopsis provides very little information, one can only assume generalities at this point.

They say, "don't judge the book by its cover", but first impressions are still the hardest to break, and the cover is what sells the book.

I hope that you and the author both see the potential for people to misconstrue the themes of the story, and take this into consideration when developing subsequent chapters.

If I may give a frank word of advice: don't get swelled heads just because you got on EqD. I've seen fics and star ratings die because of chauvanistic authors, and I've almost murdered my own not even on EqD because of all the "OmG this st0ry is gr8!" comments on FiMFiction and enthusiastic reviews on Ponychan's /fic/. I'm doing a full rewrite because I ignored the true criticism until it was too late and I was six messy, hole-filled chapters in.

>>242322242322

While we are glad our story passed EQD's standards our heads have not swelled, if anything it has made us want to make this story worthy of EQD's status and thank you for that piece of advice about the image. I will talk to Seven about it later on.

>>242322242322

Thank you for the Criticism, Logician. I'll definitely take what you said about the cover image to heart. I'm not much of a digital artist like a younger self did so believe, so when it came to the cover image, I did the lazy thing and used a pony that I re-based and did up for fun with a certain scene in mind as the cover. I definitely did not realize at the time that it could portray as much angst about humanity as it did. I'll have to see about finding an artist to commission, or see if somepony cannot donate their time for a cover, because I agree completely with what you are saying.

Rest assured that I am trying my hardest not to let the Equestria Daily publishing get to my head. To begin with, I wasn't wholly confident that my work would hold up against great fics of the past, such as Past Sins or the Empty Room; both of these served as a sort of inspiration to attempt writing a pony fic. Never in my dreams did I imagine my first go at fan-fiction to be published, so you can imagine my surprise when I read the 'to the queue' email after the initial correction run.

If anything, the publishing of Displaced is a reminder that even if I do hit it big, I can't ride on the success of past work. Sure, I'm still plenty giddy from the fact that I managed to pass the pre-readers with a fic that is in a 'tiring' subset with only 'minor' corrections needed on the first two chapters to appease the pre-reader. Yeah, I'll still provide a link if anyone so much as mentions pony fics; that's a measured amount of pride I've allowed myself. This, however, means that I still have to work as hard as always, if not harder, if I wish to continue pleasing my readers.

Cheers,

~Seven Fates

>>241790241790 Logician was right. The reason I brought it up is that the character felt, to me, that he was saying that all humans are evil. That's why I mentioned it.

I noticed you said that you work in Retail, if anything I have the better reason to be more cynical about humanity. I served in the US Army. I had to deal with some of the worst that humanity had to offer, from the douche fags that think the best way to win an argument is to blow up innocent civilians, to the media whores who look for any little thing that could possibly be taken out of context (or even something that is a tragic accident) to stab you in the back, and to the dumb fucks who use the very rights that we [soldiers/sailors/airmen/Marines] fight, bleed, kill, and die for to demean/degrade and insult us. Yet, I can still see the best of humanity as a whole. I just look at the warrior who stands by my side, and I know that the world will be alright so long as there is on man or woman like the one beside me.

I personally believe that humanity (as a whole) is on the good side of neutral; not straight up evil but not straight up saintly either. It's the refusal to see the (or even admit that there is a) good side of humanity, which was the side that I served with and was willing to fight/kill/bleed/die for, that causes me to get annoyed with all of the "humanity is evil", escapist HiE stories. Note, this is all aimed at the human in the HiE stories, not the ponies. I can't find a fault with the ponies' logic when it comes to judging humanity other than, "You judging us based solely on our evils is like us judging you only based off Nightmare Moon." Like you said, there is a lot more out there than just one side to the moral scale.

As a friend of mine put, "We [humanity] have our assholes, and we have our heroes. Judge us based off both, not just one."

>>242367242367 If you see these kinds of comments, it's important to look at them and understand where they are coming from. Especially if that's not what you intended the readers to see. We aren't assuming anything, it's just how we have interpreted what you two have told us, based on our experiences and feelings. And it's those kinds of interpretations that can turn people off of a story (don't look at me, there are enough good points to the story that I want to continue reading).

>>242322242322 HOOAH!

>>242992242992

I apologize that Warren was giving off that impression. I suppose in the future released, I'll have to make a point of making sure not to stress humans as evil.

There is actually a planned point where he actually does make a stand for humanity, so don't you worry too much.

>>243125243125 I'm not offended, or disappointed, if it serves as a purpose in the plot (there is another story that is doing that). It just currently seems that way, and with how MLP fics are filled with HiE fics that are that way without a reason, it's hard to not jump to its logical conclusion. If this will turn into to a, as the author of the other story coined, "redemption" fic (the human realizes that his hatred for humanity is ill-conceived, "grows up", and moves on from it), then by all means go right ahead and don't apologize for it. It was meant to be like that and it invoked the proper response.

Still, even if not, there are too many good things about this fic for me to just stop reading it over something like this.

agreed with ^^

Warren said in chapter 1 that he felt too old to be so young...I guess

he's probably 21+ in human, and 13- in pony

according to my knowledge, Warren is about 28 in human years, give or take a few javascript:smilie('');

>>245008245008

I'm almost afraid to ask just how you came to that conclusion. It's almost... Uncanny.

>>245008245008

Image: http://angrywhitedude.com/wp-content/uploads2/2011/07/are-you-wizard.jpg

Dude... How did you...

ok, y is there curse words in here man???

>>245112245112

Curse words? I'm not following you, here. The closest I recall straying into profanity is the usage of a handful of 'damn', and a fist-full of 'crap'. That is hardly swearing. Not one s___, b_____, f___, a__, or anything of that such.

At this point, I can't tell if you're just trying to get my goat, or something else entirely.

ok, when the...tragedy struck, I had to stop reading and turn up the music

cause when something like this happens, I turn on the music, and shut down the rest of my

I seriously want to: 28 times for what Pinkie said

>>245246245246 still I find it offensive

>>245038245038 he said it'd been 10 years since he went to school, so I just guessed>>245047245047just a good mathematician

>>251265251265

I'm sorry you feel that way, good sir. You must understand, however that being a teen-rated Fan-fic where a pony yanked out of his world is involved, we've been more than a little self-restrained with the character's language. I will understand if this is a deal-breaker for you, and you cannot continue reading this fic. I respect your sensibilities and your decisions, but I hope you can look past these liberties we've taken in writing this character, and enjoy the fic.

>>251796251796 I'll still read the fic man

I can at least wonder why can't i?

Very nice chapter,  I laughed at warren being made to look like rainbow dash

Ah, wait till Rainbow Dash sees Warrens new look....

I think it's perfectly natural for the Princesses to distrust Warren, but I'm looking forward to seeing him win the favor of those ponies who actually get to know him.  

You're right, this is kind of a slow section, but every good story needs a bit of filler fluff here and there.  I look forward to seeing what happens next!

Rainbow Dash Warren is best pony?

>>260697260697

Well played, friend! Well played!

ok, is it just my messed up mind, or was it Scootalo who suggested the RD transformation of Warren

This was actually so unnerving that I unwatched but then after some thought went back and rewatched. It really caught me by surprise.

Just gotta say - I've been reading this for a while, and it's only now I've made an account. xD

Kudos to you on the Higurashi reference. :3

Tracking~

>>263852263852

Something about the story had unnerved you?

>>264247264247

I'm glad someone caught the reference. I'd been worried because the scene hadn't been played verbatim that it might not have caught.

>>264482264482

The part of Scootaloo loosing her wing in that way. I'm a bit squeamish so when it comes to a situation like that... Don't get me wrong though, it's a very good story and I can't wait for more.

>>264482264482

Who could ever forget Punishment Games?

But seriously, loving it so far, and keep up the fantastic work! ^.^

Good start, will keep reading.

ok man, I got such a good idea for this story's cover

I am just too busy to do it

mind if i share it with u?

Oh wow. This is like, my favorite fanfic now. Keep up the awesomeness.

The only thing I can say now is MOAR!!!

You know, I apologize for commenting without actually reading your story, but... Dude.

Seriously.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/7233/Displaced

Mind = Blown

reading the first chapters

>my parents died ten years ago

reading this chapter

>my last night was my siblings trying to get me to get them into my dying father's good books

... what?  I spy an error!

>>293770293770

If I hadn't just woken up after three hours sleep to push a car up an icy driveway, I'd probably be able to smartly address this. I'd probably chalk it up to confusion/the 'minor case of severe brain damage'. It's always something that can be addressed when I'm awake and waiting for my beta-reader to go over Chapter 8.

Thanks for bringing this to my attention though.

Edit: Wow, my lack of sleep is showing. Sever ≠ Severe

>>293636293636

It certainly is a bit mind-blowing that two individuals could come up with the same title, and then one showing up on the others 'Related' board.

Coincidence? I think neigh.

nice

looking forward to the next chapter

poor fluttershy xD

I wonder what could be attacking the foals

maybe something Warren created

what I originally thought of was the Yu-Gi-Oh! monster called Ushi-Oni

C-C-C-Combo Bre..... Cliffhanger.....

A confusing cliffhanger...

It's the hulking bed monster?

plant specialties were not expected.  im seeing traces of romance. are you planning anything? if so add tag

>>296945296945

That comment made me laugh. Might just be because I should really be sleeping right now, but it amused me greatly. You'll just have to wait and see.

>>296953296953

You have my word that there is no romance intended in this story. Besides, it'd be a bit creepy, wouldn't it? A 28+ guy romancing what is perceived as a pre-teen/early teens character is not something I would ever do.

>>294381294381

eyerg.  I know that feel bro.  Nothing worse than an early morning followed by dealing with heavy snow or freezing rain.  Thank god that winter was mild in Ontari-ari-ario this year.(seriously, our weather was nuts)

Heh.  Glad to help.  Maybe switch the father to grandfather?  Makes more sense with the "one foot in the ground" anyways.

Can't wait to see where this is going, it's been really awesome so far

>>297145297145

I felt it simpler to emphasize on his confusion at that particular time in a way that I felt didn't detract from the story. Still, thanks for bringing that inconsistency to light.

Wow, I love your story so far. Really well written. Can't wait to see where it is going.

>>297050297050

you are now safe and secure on my tracking list.

^^ Mine too

Oh a race, I wonder who will win.

Excellent chapter and an amazing fic I give thee 5 out of 5 moustaches and a scootaloo

Will Warren keep regressing abit? I think its adorable when he starts acting more like a kid. Will there be more bonding moments with Fluttershy?

Him and scootaloo having a sibling-like relationship sounds cute also, I dont see what would be wrong with it being romantic, Techically atm he's a 10-11 year old colt, to anypony else he could just be really smart for his age, like a prodigy or what not~

I really dig this story tho :3

a race? how interesting!

since Warren said no holes barred, I imagine he'll use his magic at some point

cause, come on, how else will he win?

A race with Dashie?  Knowing her, and knowing him, and with no holds barred, they'll have all sorts of crazy ideas, and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be?

>>379736379736

THIS IS THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN, OF ULTIMATE DESTINYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Dammit, that song's going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day now. indeed!

Any news about next chapter, my master? Just askin'

Also I want to re-ask for Silver Wind. Idea of regressing Warren and making him act more like a kid seems interesting to me

>>435906435906

Chapter 10 is sitting at roughly a 60% mark. I'm stuck on a scene that I need to write before I can get onto the juicy part of the chapter. That being said I'd like to bounce some ideas off DarkxRedemption before I continue, and he's gone until Thursday.

As far as the childish regression, that is an idea that I've played with. While that doesn't fit with what's going to happen in the next few chapters, it's certainly something I've considered for the endgame/post-endgame.

Can't wait for the next chapter :) Great story so far.