Have you ever felt like something would come back to you, and turn out to be a lot worse than it seemed? Well, Rainbow did not. But her old memories turn out to be a bit more cruel than she realized.
Recommended after reading this: Feather fall
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No matter how hard she screamed, it was all in vein.
"vain"
2445661 Thanks, I edited it.
There'll probably be a couple more derps, and unfortunately I don't think they'll be the last ones.
I wondered why it was password protected last time I checked here, I guess I'll read it now.
2446097 Ghehe, sorry about that. I didn't assume it would be visible before being approved, and I thought passwords would allow access to things that weren't public yet.
2446135 They do, I just didn't have said password, it popped up in the TwiDash group notification, so I just clicked it.
The password is useful for pre-readers to look at a chapter to go over changes that might need to be made, that's what I do for someone else, they give me the password for the new chapter, I look over the chapter and edit it.
Can't wait to keep reading this. I always love to read about Dash's past and what it is that people can come up with for it. I look forward to seeing what else you come up with. Keep up the great writing!
I just want a cup- *BONG!*
Awesome Chapter. Keep up the great work :rainbowdetermined:!
I think you want She instead of The
And perhaps you should look into chopping the two really large paragraphs into smaller ones, make the whole thing more even.
Other than that interesting read.
Mmm, just finished chapter 1. Not bad.
I think I can guess what's up with Tank, so the foreshadowing is pretty good.
The only thing that I see that might be a problem are the walls of text, you've got two of them in Chapter 1. The one right at the end is especially bad. Breaking those monoliths into paragraphs of around five sentences each will make them easier to read.
I also noticed that most of your grammar/spelling mistakes are in those blocks too; probably because they are harder to read and therefore harder to proofread.
2446135
Now that you've been published properly, passwords will now only protect unpublished chapters, so you can put the password back on it if you want to prevent people from reading ahead.
Yea awesome job can't what till the next chapter
Awesome cant wait for more
2447975 Reading this story back, those walls of text are insane indeed. I've split them into smaller paragraphs.
2447927 Yup, I definitely did mean that.
Thanks all for the replies, I am currently working on chapter three, that one will probably be out later today. (Tomorrow for some of you probably)
Dash is going to have brain damage by the end of this lol
2450605 Shhhh, no spoilers please.
No jk, maybe she will, maybe she won't.
Cool chapter
Too much dialogue, not enough description
2451559 This might sound strange, but thanks. I'm currently writing chapter four and I was noticing it myself. I just wasn't entirely sure. Well, I need to re-write half that chapter, that might take a while.
Awesome Chapter, as always! Can't wait for more
! (I HATE Cliffhangers.. You have to feel guilty 
!)
2452507 Thanks dude! Let me give you a quick heads up, but you might not like what I am going to do in chapter four
What!? She committed suicide straight after being suspended from her job!!???
DUDE What The FUCK???
Am I missing something here?
Edit: Plus being suspended just means she can't work for a certain length of time! Probably coz of her Hospital visits! Why would she commit suicide??
Awesome, as always
!
Just the scene from the nap to the scene from the sefkill is.. a little bit confusing
... Anyway, nice chapter 
!
2456637 2456648 Yes, yes you are missing something here. Just be patient, it will become a bit clearer.
2456758 oOh let me guess, it's a dream
Overreaction much lol can't wait for more.
2456811 No more guessing games for you...
She will explain everything to you
Also you keep misspelling the word 'sighed'
2461387 Thanks, I changed it.
I'm worried, this has been updating too consistently and quickly, every time that happens a 2+ month gap appears in updates.
2461404 Beginners rush I guess. And this is a story I have been thinking about for quite a while before writing. Also, my life is pretty inspirational, so to speak... Oh and I'm currently in my final year of school, so I've got loads of spare time.
Awesome Chapter, as always
!
But I'm a little bit confused.. Where is the rapport between the story and the description
?
<blockquote>
A troublesome youth is something you 'd wish nopony should have, but unfortunately life doesn't always agree to that. This story is about the terrors of youth locked away deep inside Dash's mind. But no matter how deep you hide your memories, they will always find a way to get back to you when you expect them the least.
</blockquote>
2462496 It will come, just be patient :P
(Just like the Story art btw, working on that now.)
2462529
! Patience? I don't know this word 
! Just kidding, its totally awesomehow fast you are :rainbowawesome:!
Oh, okay
Begins to be interesting
! Nice Chapter 
!
INCEPTION!
last line
She was looking for... Herself?
2472595 Whoops, herpaderp...
Thanks, edited it.
Awesome Chapter. Oh, and damn those cliffhangers
!
Can't wait for more
!
Edit: Damn, i think i must learn those smilies a little bit better...
?
Edit2: Wait, it worked
2473032 Actually, this was not really intended as a cliffhanger... It's just that the guard closes the door of her room. I might have to rewrite that part a bit
You had a character think about how Alicorns can't die, but then there was dialogue about the same thing. Just show with the dialogue.
2485911 Thanks, changed it.
How come you (nearly) always put 'eeh' at the begining of Rainbow Dash's lines??
2486006 Eeh...
I'll try to do it a bit less
Edit:
Removed it a couple times in this chapter. I think it's just a bad habit.
I like the chapter
Nice Chapter! And, hell yeah, we are getting answers
!
Oh come on, dat cliffhanger
!
2576973 Ghehe, yeah, I think I should start doing a bit longer chapters and less cliffhangers. Well, I promise, next chapter won't be a cliffhanger (probably)
Edit:
I hope you don't see this as a cliffhanger?
I love this story, thanks for writing this :3
Ooooh. I like this chapter.
Damn nice Chapter
!