Wolfboy183
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I have no idea where you're taking this...
I'll assume that you're portraying AppleJack like that on purpose, because I really hate her in this fic.
I hope Sweetie Belle gets revenge and kills her, that would make my day.
Aj is such a douchebag and i hope Sweetie Belle escapes and i bet Rarity isn't really dead
This is the most marvelous piece of literature ever to have been put to paper. I hope you let your genius have its way and produce more works like this.
Will you be updating this frequently?
2567827 me too thanks
2568373 hopefully
Wildly out of character.
And that's all I'm saying about this fic.
2569184 and i thought clop fics were out of character
2569184
He's got a point.
2569633 Not really. You can write clop entirely in character. Mannerisms and personality carry over, even into intimacy. There's just a bit more of, well, free reign in clop.
This story is so far removed from canon it requires an Alternate Universe tag.
And I don't know why you're writing it. A story like this is not about ponies. It's just a display of the author's twisted beliefs.
2570088 wtf man, seriously? of all the messed up fimfics and CP clop out there, you're going to bitch about this???
2570088 please refer to my blog post
2570839 Just because there's worse out there is no excuse for your terrible story which exists only for pointless DARK.
This is a wonderful story! simply fantastic i love all the emotion and cant wait for more
2571385
Some people enjoy pointless dark. If there is an audience for something it is useful if there is a creator of such a thing.
Hmmmm. I feel as though the beating scene was far too over the top. I feel as though a simple belt spanking with yelling, a sore rump, and the phycological humiliation would have drove the nail in that we should sympathize with Sweetie Belle's plight. A little background information would help to. Like Sweetie wishing that the accident never happened. I think Applejack was too over the top as well for trying to beat a child to death. I like the concept though, and I'll finish reading before I vote.
But remember this. You don't need gratuitous violence and blood to make a good dark story. All you have to do is create an atmosphere of despair for your victim and how they deal with the radical change. Too much pointless blood and the audience will pull away. A dark tone and a good struggle, and the fans will be on the edge of their seats^^
Forget what I said in the first chapter. You have given ample reason for Applejack's behavior. But the slew of thumbs down on this story is concerning. I'll finish reading before I comment again.
To share my thoughts and opinions. You have earned a like
You created a dark story that focuses not on the violence so much as the actions and beliefs of others that lead to the violence, and while I don't agree with the way Applejack is depicted, you still show that she isn't heartless compared to her distant family who are blinded by their nonsensical superstition. I have to say that I love how Granny and Big Macintosh came to the rescue, and I feel sad about the other child, but a dark story is dark for a reason. You are very descriptive and thorough in explaining your characters and their residence. You have done a wonderful job at projecting an atmosphere of helplessness and despair for Sweetie Belle and the world that she faces, including losing herself to an identity that she doesn't accept. It's the mental anguish and anticipation of horror that drives it home. Moreover, it's the aspect of facing an unsuspected evil. The family that seemed perfect on the outside has a dark past that resurfaces in the worst of times. The biggest scare of all is that they believe what they are doing is right, and aren't going out of their way to outright kill others, so much as force them to conform. Which in my opinion, forcing another to concede and adapt to life under your rule, to break them and strip them of who they are is far scarier than murder and gore.
If at all, I hope you don't listen to those who are criticizing your story, because in my opinion, this story is far scarier than Cupcakes and Sweet Apple Massacre, that had no point other than gore and shock value, and abandoned everything else for these, (AND I SAY THIS VERY GENEROUSLY!) "Plot Devises" in the hopes of their "Stories" getting recognition. This story stands beside Pattycakes and Twilight's Dollhouse as one of the best dark stories I have ever read, short as it is, because you focus not only on the Violence, and yes some Gore here and there, but a compelling story, and the internal conflict of each character. My only complaints are Applejack's radical attitude, even though you have pulled back a little from her nonsensical rage, and the conversations between each character seems rather short as well. If you rewrite the story to make each chapter longer, and go into detail about how each character takes to Sweetie Belle's pain of loss and radical change in lifestyle, and perhaps delve deeper into the conditioned psyche of Applejack to make her superstition more relatable then I'm sure this story could very well be featured and stand out as an iconic Grimdark story that every Dark author could take a page from.
Also, I love the callback to Hot Fuzz with the slightly Dimwitted brick wall, Woody "Ee'yarp!"
As well as the cult that controls religious aspects of the city.
In short I'm enjoying this story, and I look forward to the next chapter my friend^^
2572013 I want you to know I LOVE YOU! Your comment makes a massive difference for me. The negative attention has been a bit depressing actually. I have more to explain about Applejack and why she went apeshit on Sweetie Bell for using magic. ..I think the flamebroiling of that other unicorn foal was over the top and I was like 'did i go overboard with the whole nimbuscait thing? Should i take that out?' I might change it up in the near future. I know the depiction of Applejack isn't too good with a lot of bronies, but that's how I felt. If someone can turn Pinkie Pie into a psycho killer, why can't I portray Applejack as a superstitious hardass? We like to bring out the worst in the lightest of FiM, because no world is that perfect, sad to say :(
I will be adding more to this (perhaps to piss off the haters for my own amusement), so check back.
2571385 You know, I just might make up and OC and name him after you. Apparently you don't like things that are different than your taste so you call them pointless just to feed your own power trip and try to make me feel like shit. Maybe I'll switch out Blackhoof and name him Gearhoof, because like you, he doesn't like things that aren't within his taste, hence his intent to take out Vinyl Scratch in the other fic. I wanted to block you from posting on here, but i thought that was too immature on my part. Seriously, stop wasting your time with my fics and go look for something you might actually like. Hell, write something for others to read and comment on. Because, next chapter I write, I'll think of you, and post it, just to piss you and the other haters off.
2567760 She will. And Applejack will sorely regret she ever laid a hoof on her.
The problem is that you're comparing this story to the likes of "Sweet Apple Massacre" and "Cupcakes", which are shock fics that don't really take themselves seriously. They're enjoyable because they're not meant to be consumed for their emotional content or plot; they're just gorefests, meant to satisfy the basest kinds of desires.
There is another type of darkfic which tries to insert itself into the canon of the show; a way to illustrate that underneath the sugary surface that we are presented with in FiM there lie some very horrific realities. This kind of darkfic is much harder to pull off because it asks people to actually invest their deeper emotions in it. It has to have a coherent plot, relatable characters, and a believable setting.
I have to say that your story seems to be aiming to be the second type, but is holding itself to the standards of the first. That just doesn't work.
All this story is is suffering and violence and evil, and nothing to offset it. There's nothing to relate to and no sign of the FiM we know except the names of the characters.
All that said, though, I did not downvote it. There's some promise here, hints of actual characterization and development - but you need more of that if you want it to be taken seriously. Like, way more. It took five goddamn chapters for a single, tiny, positive thing to happen to Sweetie Belle after all the horrors she's experienced. It's not enough.
There is, (as always) a trope for what you have here:
Darkness-Induced Audience Apathy
2573919 offsets are coming, it does say 'incomplete' on this fic, right? Ehh, I never aimed for the shock value of cupcakes of SAM to begin with, I never really payed attention to the differences between the two types...then again i poured emotion into reading those. Alot of things pinch alot of nerves in me. Whats funny is I can't sit through a high-drama TV show.
I guess I should have mentioned other fics instead of the famous 'shock' ones in my argument with the other person. I mentioned SAM because to me, it's the pony equivalent to really brutal child porn (CP), and I was only comparing this fic in saying this fic shouldn't piss people off like it does. I am working on it. Thanks for not downvoting it (actually I dont care if it gets all downvotes, I just might keep at it and dedicate it to everyone who hates it lol)
I bucking love this story! Quick updates and great story line. I hope that sweety bell will be able to over come her fear of applejack and an epic fight will go down. Sweetie you go one and work that magic :)
2577953 oh she will trust me. I won't let Applejack get away with how she's treating her!
Are we going to be seeing Rarity next chapter? I don't want too see Sweetie loose her magic, but I do want to see her beat the ever loving Tartarus out of Apple Jack. That pony really needs a good beat down. Please say that Sweetie Belle is going to be saved / going to get some good karma come her way?
Oh and I want to see Celestia learn about all of this and burn Nimbuscait to the ground and every earth pony there.
GOD DAMN! This is the best chapter of all!
I don't know who helped Sweetie, I don't know why Rarity is alive, and I don't know if Applejack is the actual antagonist anymore!
All of your previous chapters should have this kind of length and mystery!
Yay! More updates :)
One of the best dark fics I've read in a while. Its more psychological instead of guts and nuts.
Nimbuscait, someday is going to burn
So when will celestia finaly come down on them for the nimrod apples and tell them off
So, This Twilight seems so, i dont really know what to say, so many feels right now
Twilight needs to get off her flank and help Sweetie Belle. I mean yes she in cannon is hyper obsessive, but she'd never willing stand by when a crime / wrong doing is going on. Mostly because it'd reflect badly on Celestia and Twilight is more obsessive towards pleasing Celestia than she is with research.
Also why hasn't Rarity shown up to help Sweetie Belle? And when is Sweetie Belle going to blast the ever loving feces out of Apple Jack then force it down her throat, pony centipede style?
2646936
That made me laugh!
2646936 I figured so many ponies were asking her for help and it was just a bad day for SB to ask. Twilight's really good friends with Applejack and she doesn't believe what Sweetie Belle told her.
2647222
But after she sees the test she will right? I mean I can understand having a bad day. But i can see Twilight looking into it, if only to prove that nothing was happening so she could tell Apple Jack so that her friend could stop any rumors from spreading.
But seeing that she was being honest. Even though she'd confront Apple Jack about it first, I can't see her allowing those actions to continue without telling the Princess. After all if there is a member of the community actively participating in attacks / attempted murder against Celestia's subjects. She'd want to know ASAP. Even if it was a friend.
At the very least she'd tell Rarity about the abuse and try to stop it so that it doesn't reflect poorly on Celestia.
MACINTOSH FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Always knew Macintosh was best pony^^
Your story is becoming more fluid, and your details are getting better. Keep at it^^
This story just makes applejack a dick
Poor sweetie belle
2665304 I agree. But then I found it hard to imagine Sweet Apple Acres running in tip top shape without some strict brutality. I always thought Applebloom was pretending to be happy in 'Sisterhooves Social'
Yay~ An update at long last!
This chapter i like
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
Still loving the story, although it ended a tad abruptly.
keep it up^^
2812803 I've been having writer's block, thats why there was a delay. Don't worry Sweetie Belle will come out on top
I have to call this particular story one of the "guilty pleasures" I prefer reading.
To be honest, I rarely allow myself to read stories that are more dominant in the "thumbs down" department over the "thumbs up" one. Of course, I've come to learn that such a belief is rather biased and does not allow one to consider the very subject of the story. The portrayal of child abuse and other immoral acts conducted in the name of religion brings out the more sensitive side of me, makes me feel so angry and yet at the same time I can't help but read more of it. So despite the view of the majority, I decided to take a look at this story for myself and see whether or not it was worth all of the negative reception.
In all honesty? I think there's been a big error of judgment. This story is well-written - something that automatically garners attention from me. I'm always finding myself pulled in, hoping Sweetie Belle and (possibly) Apple Bloom will eventually get the escape that they're looking for. Every time they're struck down and threatened makes my blood boil so much, and I am just waiting for the moment in where Applejack as well as the rest of those extremists get their just-desserts. At the very least, Applejack has a rather justifiable reason for it, not being able to cope with watching her own mother being subjected to such a horrible demise. As for the ponies in Nimbuscait, however, they seem nothing more than straight up monsters not too unlike the Nazis. However, with that in mind, you may have just inspired me to create an original villain for my own story.
Please continue. I'm quite eager to see more.
I rarely ever say i hate a fic that isn't mindless guro like cupcakes. but this one, with the religious anti-magic sentiment and foal beating just... ugh.
I'm sorry because this is actually well written, it's just everything that's happening that makes me sick.
I recognise skill when i see it, it's here. this story is well crafted, the story flows, the characters have reasons for what they do, even if they're incredibly wrong minded.
The problem, is me. problems and overcoming adversity is what makes a good story, but for me, i come to FIM for an escape from the dark side of reality for a dark fantasy. This... this just hits too close to reality for me.
For my part, i wish you the best of luck in the future with this story, but i will not be reading it, because reading things like this upsets me to the point where my own creativity literally shuts down for days at a time.
Best of luck to you.
You bastard! Leaving us on a cliffhanger that intense!
You had better update soon.
2919111 RAWR
2919109 Well, I appreciate your respect for this story's...creativity, and thanks for not flaming it like a lot of people did (i continued to write for those who like it.) Sweetie Belle gets her revenge, don't worry. Um...sorry i killed your creativity. thanks for the comment.
'We ought to de-horn her' changed to 'Tough New Life.' same chapter, different title.