• Member Since 8th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 10th, 2021

A Madman With a Box


T

Marvin is the most depressed being in the multiverse. As everyone knows, opposites attract, so it stands to reason that Marvin would end up in the happiest place in the universe. All it took was an improbability factor of eight million seven hundred and sixty-seven thousand to one against.

Please point out any errors, I've recently started writing on a tablet, and that fudging auto cucumber keeps messing things up, and I don't always spot them.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 29 )

Please point out any errors (unless their really obscure guide references, in which case only I would care).

Found one. "Their" should be "They're"

Reading now.

You've raised my expectations sky-high with the concept. This ought to be good.

Post read: Very promising. I really need to finish the book, though. As for errors, I noticed very little. One, however, caught my eye. The scene transition from Marvin to Pinkie. Now, this is a very minute error that you can get away with. But I would suggest putting something in between the two scenes to signify separate scenes.

that”.
“That sounds terrible” Marvin sighed. “Please go away”

Also that. I would suggest it to be the following:

that”.

“That sounds terrible” Marvin sighed. “Please go away”

Carry on, my fine sir!

This has the potential to be the best thing ever. POTENTIAL. Don't let me down.

As is, I would suggest being a bit more liberal with paragraph breaks. The first two paragraphs seem to go on and jump subjects enough that a natural break should be there somewhere.

Split up that wall of text. It will make it look better.

im sorry i love hitchiker but this is completly unreadable for me split the text up for goodness sake!

Comment posted by A Madman With a Box deleted Apr 17th, 2013

Thanks for pointing out the lack of paragraph breaks, I hope the new layout is improved.

2436129
Thanks, I wonder what it says about my spelling that I made a mistake in the sentence asking people to point out mistakes!
blogs.montclair.edu/cwe/files/2013/03/tumblr_m5uhn3aTzS1rqpw6po1_400-300x203.gif

Wow no one has never used my name before in a fanfic I read its always the common names like. James, Taylor, John, even more commonly ANON
:pinkiehappy:

This seems like a good start to a story that's so colourful it's depressing. Luna will love him.

Two mistakes:
Firstly..

. It is so mind-bogglingly massive that its dimensions are as close to infinite as possible (without actually being infinite).

When something is massive, that doesn't mean that it's big or heavy, but that it contains nothing more than itself on the inside. For instance, a block of steel is massive because its inside only contains steel. A universe, however, contains non-universely things like me. Therefore, a universe can't be massive unless it contains nothing but universe inside.

Secondly..

Due to the reality bubble around her, neither Pinkie nor Marvin was harmed, although the diodes in Marvin's left side did sustain some damage.

-Pinkie nor Marvin were harmed.

2453160
Actually, you are part of the universe. You are a collection of atoms that were created in helium fusion during the supernovae of one of the first stars. Those atoms just happened to become you, or the food you ate, and became a part of you. They could just as easily became a block of carbon, or a diamond (human beings are largely carbon).
Thanks for pointing out the grammatical error, sorry if I got a bit carried away with this, I get a bit obsessive over sciencey things!

2463809
I used to see stuff as dark matter, dark energy and anti-matter as the universy stuff...

2466211
That is a common misconception, however everything is part of the universe, hence the name universe, which means it is universal.

2468005. :rainbowhuh::pinkiegasp::rainbowhuh::pinkiegasp: omgomgomgomgomg...............its here............. the hitchhikers guide to equestria..or something like it yaaaaaay

2585035
You say that, but everyone has hated me my whole life. Don't talk to me about life. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to dunk my head in a bucket of water.

2585042
Cheer up little robot. Smile.

C'mon and smile!!

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

2585051
My face is made of an inflexible titanium alloy. I couldn't smile if I wanted to do. Which I don't.
(I think I should be flattered)

Thank you for writing this, I mean it. It was funny and I just finished reading the whole series, you write allmost like like douglas did(seems similar to me),loved those references you made to the seires, enjoyed this very much and hope to see more. Thank you. :pinkiesad2:

“Ummm-yes Pinkie, that’s great” Rarity managed to say. “Are you totally he’s safe?” (I think you forgot to put sure in there) still good, can't wait for more.

2641300
Thats good to know, I was trying to emulate his style, glad you enjoyed the story!
2641342
I'll fix that as soon as I can, but I may have gone a teensy bit over my data cap and had my internet slowed down :twilightsheepish:

2585055 well then the only logical option is to paint a large pink smile on your face, so you can properly emote.

I believe that this fic personifies that moment when you find something brilliant and grin widely, only for your grin to immediately turn upside down when you see that the last update was six months ago.

Comment posted by A Madman With a Box deleted Mar 4th, 2014

3461396 I've had exams,and then I just became slightly bored with MLP. I'll probably start a new chapter soon.

*pokes wit a stick* You still alive?

me: You know Marvin, that might work better if it was a wall made of enchanted water that goes through every single hole it can find. I stay away from it myself but it would be just perfect for you!

marvin: you sound much to cheerful while helping me try to destroy myself. You must absolutely despise me.

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