Not too bad. I'd give it a solid 4.

Whatever the conspiracy going on behind the scenes with Pinkie Pie, Zecora, and... given her reaction I'm going to guess Fluttershy? I sorta feel it's a little bit intrusive into an otherwise nice and straightforward story. The quest for the holy pail could've been explained a little less clunkily, but all in all it was pretty good.

Actually, my biggest complaint is the continuing appearance of this weird … thing that keeps intruding all over the place. It's really annoying and I'm not sure what the heck it's supposed to mean.

Overall though, pretty good job.

>>60216021

For some reason this site doesn't like certain punctuations from Word.  Changed all my "..." to that code.  I've been through to fix them.

I hope you stick with the story.  All will be revealed in time.  :)

That song... so lovely, even if I haven't actually heard it.

Also, I have a hunch as to what's going on...

Hmm... well, I think I already figured out the plot twist. Still, it's a very cute story thus far. Looking forward to more.

From now on, I won't be able to unsee Rarity as being Oirish-Equestrian.

Since I doubt the Colt Templars could predict the future that well, I dont think the Dan Brown (or perhaps Encyclopedia Brown) clues are from them. We'll see who they are from in the following chapters!

Indiana Jones + Ponies?

I fucking love you. in a totally platonic non-creeper way.

I'm really liking the story so far.  I actually imagined the guitar riff from Jack Tars by Saxon going along to Sweetie Belle's singing, though I'm sure that's hardly appropriate.

Looking forward to the next part.

This is great so far I cant wait to read more

I thought something was up.  The intriguing thing will be to see who's the mastermind of this.  The most likely choices, from my view, would be Twilight Sparkle or Cheerilee... but I could still be surprised.

I figured something was up when Rarity just happened to have the key fragment,  AJ's and Dash's just cinches the deal.

I'll repeat myself: just like there is no way an ancient order of templars would have a clue that there would be a place called "Carousel Boutique" in present day Ponyville, there is no way they could have predicted that their weather mare would have a rainbow mane. OK, yeah, secret society in a fantasy world with usable magic, so prediction could be possible, sure. But it still feels very unlikely, story-wise, that the Dan Brown-esque clues are not planted by someone who knows the fillies. This just convinces me.

I liked this ending best.

This chapter was beautiful.  Never have I cried so many times in a row.....

'The two unicorn fillies thanked Gardenia again and set off on a trail away from the school and out of Ponyville.' Wasn't one of them an earth pony?

>>1025410254

Gah!  Thanks for catching that.  I knew I was going to miss it somewhere.  

Had them both originally as unicorns, but I changed it and must've missed that.  Fixed it now.  Many thanks again.

Minor detail, but Gardenia is supposed to be a teal unicorn with pink hair, not a brown earth pony with green hair: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pullip_junk/6125683404/ (far left, from the blind bag twelve-pack)

When I went into this story for the first time, not even bothering to read the description, I was expecting a Harrison Ford-esq Indiana Jones OC pony with the three CMC's acting as a collective Short Round. What I got instead was a story of adventure, friendship and other stuff. I loved reading this mini-series and it's two great ending. I'm kinda bummed out that it's over, because it was so well written and the characters stayed in character, not to mention it's central message about doing what you love. To end this praise, I only hope you're future endeavors keep the same quality.

Also because of you I went on an Indiana Jones bender and ended up watching the three films plus a couple episodes of the TV series.  

P.S. it woulda been funny if you included other hilarious alternate endings like unmasking Apple Bloom to find out she's really Old man Jenkins or that Scootaloo was really three chickens in a pony suite...etc.      

I thought I was the only person who knew Timbuk3 existed!!!!!

THIS IS AMAZING!!

D'awwww. i loved this story

I loved this story. I read it yesterday on Fanfiction.net.

Awww what an adorable ending. I love each cutie mark Scoots is really my favourite of the three

Now this ending is really sweet, our three favourite fillies all grown up into superstar mares who want to help the new cutiemarkless gain their special marks

ohhh you make it too easy.... applejack just happens to come across the piece... anyway's I like it!

i'm still reeling at the fact that applebloom being as smart as she is hasn't figured this out yet...

Adorable story, I loved it!

This ending was my favorite.  I identify with the theme a lot.  I mean, I'm in my junior year of college, and I can imagine what I can use my major to do, but I also wonder if it is really for me.  I feel like there's this looming threat of one minute, college, then I graduate and have no idea what to do or where to go.  *sigh* I'm hoping I can figure things out like the girls did.  

Epic win

ಥ﹏ಥ

So... beautiful...

Great,

I happen to be playing this while i was reading scoots part, seemed to work well too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33VHV0SJxps

General Mumble - Mayhem Invades Equestria

Personally... this ending is a LOT better than the other.

Wow, this story was... so fulfilling. It's a wonder why no other has tried much messing with Crusaders actually getting their Cutie Marks, because it sure as hay's a very emotional point in the series.

You sir managed to bring me to tears not once, but three times in succession, when the CMC passed the three trials with flying colors. The description about how they felt was beyond right.

And then there's this last chapter, which is full of win and beauty. Thank you, good sir, for this stirring tale you have graced us with. I'll surely keep a look on your other stories.

This was awesome amazing stupendous splendid wonderful any other adjectives that convey the same sense of perfection that is this story I would love to see something like this actually happen in the show

They are all in on it!

From what I can tell they have for some reason decided to set up a small adventure for the CMC, and they don't realise it (despite the clues leading to something that probably were not around in ancient times).

Soo far it's been good and I should be able to finnish it before midnight.YAY!

This would actually make a pretty good episode.

It was great.  I like the multiple ending part.  Keep up the good work.

Not cool, dude. Not cool. This is like one whole big conspiracy against three little girls that don't even deserve to have such a thing happen to them. How would they ever trust anyone again after something like this? It is just so sad.

I... I have no words for how completely and fully BEAUTIFUL the second ending was. I could literally have never thought of a better way for the CMC to stay together after their goal was accomplished.

Oh, but now I just got a depressing thought. What would happen if one of the girls got her cutie mark long before the other two? All I can see happening is her getting more or less abandoned with the other two still compelled to crusade. I'd hope they'll stay friends the whole way through, but Apple Bloom never seemed to have time for Twist anymore... And then, what if only one crusader is left without her mark? She'd be devastated!

Oh wow, the happy ending is making me sad. DAMN YOU HINDSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

Okay, now that I've gotten all the rant out of me, this was an absolute delight to read through. It's easily my favorite portrayal of the Cutie Mark Crusaders I've seen in any fiction, though being the only one I've read in recent memory that FOCUSED on them helps a lot. Yes, as you may have gathered, I liked the second ending better, but I still loved the first one as well.

For some strange reason, I want to say the mastermind is Fluttershy, simply because it's what I'd least expect. Nothing to do but keep reading I guess. I loved the story so far, and I can't wait to finnish it!

What's that girl?  Sweetie's fallen down the well...

If only you'd had Winnoa tell Apple Bloom instead, then the joke would have been complete.

I love indiana jones, and te cutie mark crusaders! excellent work

I've read both endings and both epilogues. I have to say that THIS ending and it's epilogue are far better.... and not just because of the happier ending. It's actually written far better, with far more emotion and depth too.

This epilogue is the far better of the two. The idea of them uniting to make the Cutie Mark Crusaders an actual foundation is an obvious one, but brilliantly executed (and it's adorable seeing them pass down the mantle--- hopefully with fewer explosions and run-ins with tree sap!)

Okay, I gotta call it... the mane 6 were sorta carrying the idiot ball here. Even if there's some sort of (silly-ass) rule that prevents them from TELLING the girls what their obvious talents are, each of the "guardians" could have simply told them they had failed the test at hand and demand that the other two try. Also, this ending comes off as an unwillingly written version, done for the sake of "status quo is God", and definitely lacks the spark and color of the other.

I'd lose this ending entirely and go with version #2 as canon.

Oh my gosh ;o; this was soooo cool. I want to give this more stars but it won't let meeeeeeeeeeee!!

Really, this has to be THE BEST fic I've read in a while. I was getting mighty suspicious how easy it was for them to come across some historical artifact... This was really nice. Super nice. AMAZING. It might even me my most favorite fic ever, in the history of everything. I think it was the ending!

Can we have a small short story about the Cutie Mark Crusaders summer camp? Pweeeese?

Why is this not canon?! I mean seriously! This really needs to be canon. Either ending really, though 2 would be better.

Its ok Applebloom, Nazi's stole my Favorite Scalpel...

>>159140159140 thats probably what happend the first few times

I FUCKING NEW IT, GOD DAMNIT.

~The Doctor