(This takes place in the moment in Dash's mind after Twilight's announcement but before Alex's reaction)
Sparkle, you mangy nag.
I had him. I finally had him into me enough that he had forgotten those damn, honourable, beautiful vows he kept. He was mine and I was going to take him all the way.
And then you had to go and dick buck him like that. Could it not have waited until morning? If he has a day to live, I would have given him the most amazing night of his life. He would have died as happy as anyone could.
Not only that, but knowing someone like him had loved me would have made me complete. No matter what happens now, I’m not getting any action tonight. I can probably get him to snuggle again. Maybe.
Oh, I’m going to get you Sparkle. I’m going to wait until you’re about to have a very intimate moment with some stallion or mare (I have a running bet with Applejack, I’m calling you a filly-fooler all the way) and I’m going to crash in, declaring my love or something. I don't know yet, but it will be like a bucket of ice water between the flanks. I’ll make sure to have an air tight alibi, so it’s plausible deniability all the way baby. You have given me a reason to revenge prank you with everything I’ve got.
Okay Rainbow Dash. Let’s calm down. Alex will probably say something smart to that egghead and it will all just be something stupid she overreacted about.
But, what if it’s not? What if magic is killing him? What if there’s something in the food or water or air? What if it’s something he’s missing?
What if it’s me.
Come on Alex! Say something!