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(This takes place in the moment in Dash's mind after Twilight's announcement but before Alex's reaction)
Sparkle, you mangy nag.
I had him. I finally had him into me enough that he had forgotten those damn, honourable, beautiful vows he kept. He was mine and I was going to take him all the way.
And then you had to go and dick buck him like that. Could it not have waited until morning? If he has a day to live, I would have given him the most amazing night of his life. He would have died as happy as anyone could.
Not only that, but knowing someone like him had loved me would have made me complete. No matter what happens now, I’m not getting any action tonight. I can probably get him to snuggle again. Maybe.
Oh, I’m going to get you Sparkle. I’m going to wait until you’re about to have a very intimate moment with some stallion or mare (I have a running bet with Applejack, I’m calling you a filly-fooler all the way) and I’m going to crash in, declaring my love or something. I don't know yet, but it will be like a bucket of ice water between the flanks. I’ll make sure to have an air tight alibi, so it’s plausible deniability all the way baby. You have given me a reason to revenge prank you with everything I’ve got.
Okay Rainbow Dash. Let’s calm down. Alex will probably say something smart to that egghead and it will all just be something stupid she overreacted about.
But, what if it’s not? What if magic is killing him? What if there’s something in the food or water or air? What if it’s something he’s missing?
What if it’s me.
Come on Alex! Say something!
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I'm sorry Rainbow Dash, but Alex has recently pulled a...
Image: http://www.gamerdna.com/uimage/egeDu3p/full/gordon-freeman-gif.gifYou will have to wait another chapter. 
Image: http://i.qkme.me/22el.jpg
Here is my take, what I try to keep in my head while I'm writing:
While Dash and Alex have shared deeply, you have to remember that they are both damaged in their own way.
Dash was really badly emotionally abused during her childhood. She was always looking for the approval of the male figure, weather they were male, female, pony, griffin, or human. While she knows intellectually that Alex is a good person who, she thinks, loves her and, she hopes, will never leave her, she does not always feel as if she deserves it. When you've grown up being told you're no good, no matter what you're told in adulthood, that always reverberates in your mind. I think it's why Dash puts up such a strong front, a tough girl, always cool, etc.
Alex has been running very scared for a very long time. One of my pre-reader / editors described it as a kind of Stockholm Syndrome. What helped him keep what sanity he could scrape together has been his family. Until he reached Equestria, he barely had friends and never had anyone he would have even considered as a lover, marriage vows aside. As for why he puts up with Dash's outbursts, he understands, at least he hopes he does, what is going on in her head and what she has experienced. He also sees a person who has suffered, who he loves, who he would forgive any transgression.
So, they are two damaged people, who have found each other, and give each other the comfort and love they both need. And God help you if you get between them. They WILL fuck you up.*
* To be specific, Alex will make you look like a complete dick in public and make you apologize for it, and Dash with simply buck you into next week.
(Twilight Pats MicroUltraMad on the head) There there, let the anger flow out of you. There... (MicroUltaMad feels a sudden pinch) That's just a sedative. The mean old writer will have a story soon. Just relax for now. 
(Writer runs in) Twilight! How many times have I told you, don't drug the readers! 
(Writer panics) Twilight! Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it! 
(Twilight rolls her eyes) Please, I'm just a notch under the Princess. I can fix it, no problem. (ZAP!) See, ghost bacon!
(writer still panics) No you idiot! FIX THEM!!!
(Twilight is now a little unsure) Oh. Ooooh. Fix THEM. Well, why didn't you say? (ZAP!) Humm.. let's try that again. (ZAP!) There we go. They're a little singed, but they're back to as normal as they usually are. 
NOOOOOOOOOUU!
I would've been fine with the ghost bacon.
I also rather like the idea of controlling you so i may add my ideas into the story and be a prepreprereader and read the raw ideas in your noggin...click-click
BANG!
This ghost bacon is delicious.
WAIT!
brb gonna go meet my man John Bonham, Jimi Hendrix, Syd Barret, and Dimebag Darrel.
"To be specific, Alex will make you look like a complete dick in public and make you apologize for it, and Dash with simply buck you into next week. "
Unless you screw with Alex's family or break "the rules." Then he will pull out a badass magical weapon and show you why Humans are considered 'apex tool-using predators'. Besides, he's gotta be niccing for some steak at this point 
Edit:
Luna: "What about redemption!?"
Alex: "He was tastier this way."
"So the question is, do unicorns taste significantly different from Earth Ponies?"
Dash glares at Alex before responding, "So is that how you think of me? Just a steak with wings!?"
Quietly to himself, "Well more like chicken wings but..."
"Huh?"
"Nothing Dash."
-------
Heh, long term relationship with a species that could use you as an emergency food source if the need arises has got to be at least a little disturbing for ponies to think about 
. Though the fish don't seem to be sentient, or at least Fluttershy is willing to get fish for her pets so I imagine they can deal with it to some extent at least. I'd totally be able to give up most forms of meat but they can have my salmon when they pry it from my cold, dead, hands. Though I don't think making food jokes about ponies would ever get old.
Assuming he isn't really going to die (and prematurely end the story), his revenge could involve pranking Twilight by disguising himself as a zombie, haunting her, and before he tries to 'eat' her, does Michael Jackson's Thriller dance to confuse the shit out of her before the gotcha moment.
Edit: Bonus if he gets the CMCs to do the dance number with him. 
I hired Hydra and AIM from the Marvel Universe, but, ugh. I tell you. Cut rate minions just don't cut it anymore. I think I'll spring for Deadpool next time. Or I could just shift to a new reality where those twelve got banned before rating the story. Or I could man up and realize it's 244 to 12, a little over 20:1 in my favor.
Oh, to quote Rarity, "Ideaaaa!" I'll just assume those 12 had poor hand-eye coordination and went thumbs down totally by accident.
And if they really did what they meant to do, I would say they cared enough to tell me they didn't like the story and I thank them for that.
Oh, before I stop pontificating, I would be interested in your story.
>>683152 well put, but the problem with sheldon (in the show) his character doesn't develop, I like your light on twilight, she said she 'wanted someone to look at her *that way when she sleeps', which means twilight has a softer side, honestly you do amazing at making characters well rounded. Anyways, keep up the good work, I really like this story.
Thanks! I've always felt characters are more interesting if they articulate the same basic wants we all have. Sure Twilight spends her day telling the universe to sit down, shut up, and do what it's told, but she's still a person. Everyone needs a special hug. But, imagine how hard it is for her to meet someone she can relate to on an intellectual level. One generally has long term relationships with people of similar intellectual level, and I can see Twilight being the kind of person who would research relationships and knowing that fact being a little bummed out. She's painfully aware that the people as smart as her are few and far between. It is also likely she's meet some and they may BE Sheldon Coopers, but without his quirky charm.
Damn. I'm really feeling sorry for her now. I need to write her a coltfriend. Or two. Drama is fun. Well, for us. 
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