StarTrekFan1
Joined 12th Jun, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- OnyxTheGryphon · 57k words · 178 13 · 3k views
- PrincessLunas Assistant · 18k words · 151 15 · 2.1k views
- Anonymous Pegasus · 21k words · 486 38 · 8.2k views
- Anal Invader · 5.2k words · 115 2 · 2.3k views
- vadram · 7.3k words · 19 1 · 1.2k views
- Distorted Flare · 8.9k words · 424 104 · 8.1k views
- Bass Drop · 24k words · 43 4 · 1.8k views
- GreySkiesAhead · 8.5k words · 44 3 · 1.4k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.235 seconds
Total duration
660 users online
977,622 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Not sure why this is getting instantly downvoted, unless maybe it's just because you have an OC pony getting the job instead of an established character. (Which is a silly reason, considering how few canon male ponies there are to choose from. What, would you guys rather see Snowflake a.k.a. "Roid Rage" getting the job of royal consort? If you're going to put a stallion in the story, you're almost forced to invent your own OC pony as often as not.)
Seemed a bit odd for Thunder Shock to freak out about Celestia being "nude" in the dreamworld, though, considering that Equestria is very much clothing-optional to begin with.
Sure, Celestia didn't have her jewelry, but it's not like that would have really covered up anything to begin with...
I like what I've read thus far. Please continue!
Your story is...interesting. I am curious on how this story unfolds for Thunder Shock, Celestia, and Luna. So far, I give your story: 4.7 muffins out of 5 muffins. Please continue on. Some spots seem to need a comma here and there. Of course, I am not perfect either.
Love it, keep it up
2843533
Uh, is that good?
2845465 IT IS SPIKE WITH A STASH OF BLOODY CORSE IT IS GOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD
CHAOUS LOVE IT
2845493
Ah. Thanks.
Think you missed some dialogue. How do they know eachothers name when they were never given in the first place?
2845789
Saw what you meant and fixed it right up. Thanks for the heads up.
2843342 He's just copying what happens in cartoons. The toon wears only a shirt as their article of clothes and is completely decent but as soon as that shirt goes suddenly they're 'naked' even though they haven't been wearing anything else in the first place.
Sure, i'll read this.
Thumbs up and all that jazz
Can't wait for the rest.
I hope you can keep a solid plot, so it doesnt plunge straight into CLOP CLOP CLOP.
But AMAZING so far.
4.9 Muffins out of 5
OMG! *faves story* MOAR PLZ!!
A pretty unique story. I look forward to reading more of it. Keep up the good work!
mmmmmmmm yes quite...i will be waiting for more
.... a very... intersesting two chapters...... can't wait to see what happens
MOAR?
Interesting idea. I hope you are able to keep up with it. I expect to read some clop, but for it not at all to be the main focus. I look forward to the next chapter to see how it goes.
Who knew you needed bits to date a mare in Canterlot
.I certainly didn't.
This is quite a fascinating beginning, and it definitely makes me hopeful to see more. It's an idea I haven't seen explored much before, and you are handling it with grace.
My only beef is the liberal sprinkling of little grammatical errors (mostly word choice) throughout. I know it's better to point them out, but in Chapter 2 I saw at least 5, so rather than go into detail here I thought I'd ask if you would (a) like a proofreader for the whole thing and/or (b) would like a complete list sent to your e-mail or something. Your story interests me enough that I would be glad to do this if you wish. If so, you can reach me at SongCoyote at yahoo.
If not, that's okay too - I'll still watch for updates and gladly read all of them based on what you have so far
Light and laughter,
SongCoyote
2849921
Sky wasn't referring to money. He was referring to Thunder's....you know.
As others have pointed out, there were some small grammatical errors here and there, but nothing too major. That aside, I really like what you've got going here. It's been a loooooong time since I've seen a new story that didn't come from a well established author in the feature box that actually deserved it, and this one definitely deserves it.
There are a few places where I would recommend some minor additions/changes as an editor, but since these are the first chapters of your first story, I'm not worried about it. I'm looking forward to seeing how both this story, and your writing overall, changes as get more practice. Keep up the good work and all that jazz.
2843342 I can almost guarantee the auto-downvotes are because it's an OCxCanon pairing and there's a sex tag. Pairing any OC with any canon character, especially a prominent one, is a surefire way to get immediate hate, regardless of the actual quality of the story (this gets worse when sex is involved in any way). Yes, it is irrational and stupid, but this is a fandom; and in fandoms, shipping is serious business and causes more irrational reactions from otherwise sane people than it has any reason to.
I think it is fair to be weary of OC's in general, Sturgeon's Law and all that, but it would be nice if people would at least read a chapter before voting.
2850620
To be fair, I can sort of understand why people do it - in fan fiction, not just MLP specifically - most original characters are terrible at best, piss-poor self-inserts at worst.
And by most, I mean 99%.
So instead of reading and looking for themselves, they automatically down vote - it's a stigma, I'm afraid.
OH HELL YES!
bring on the chapters and make them quick can't wait to read more
2843342
I am now imagining Snowflake being the Consort of the Princesses...
I am now laughing my ass off.
This requires cuddles!
2852129
Then my job here is done.
2859722
Someone needs to make that a story. Just for the hell of it.
"We have a busy day ahead Thunder Shock. Brace yourself."......winter is coming!
I love this
Keep up the good work!
I applaud you sir!
Yay !
Pretty good so far. The pacing is PERFECT. Not too slow and not too fast either. But at the rate things are going, 7-8 chapters isn't too far fetched. I hope you can make it that long to get to the good parts. Too many authors start a great story like this, then just drop it in the middle. Don't be one of those authors!
Pray, continue?
Very nice chapter. I look forward to seeing how this story progresses.
Thunder Shock is one lucky colt.
2879335 I'm guilty of that one. (except my story wasn't that great anyway.) good luck to this author!
I like it a lot. Keep up the good work.
Honestly I wish I wrote this well lol.
I really like how you are focusing on Thunder being an actual consort rather than just an excuse for clop. Keep up the good work!
After having read the first three chapters, I must say I am impressed - you have taken a premise that could have easily been used as a cheap way to get someone in to Celestia's / Luna's bed, but instead are taking the time to do justice by it and going for a serious approach regarding the whole Consort business. It's nice to see Thunder being put through a break-neck paced, life-changing experience and watching him struggle to keep up. I don't doubt that other characters will provide some interesting reactions to the situation as well, as the news circulate and Thunder gets to lounge around the castle more and meet some locals. Blueblood would be an "interesting" encounter, heh.
So would Twi, for that matter - seeing she is in the character tags, I wonder how she will react to the news (probably with much flustering, heh) and what role she will end up playing in the whole ordeal. Unless the reason Celestia and Luna are doing it now is to get the newest Princess comfortable with the idea .. though I am probably getting ahead of myself here.
Anyways, solidly written and interestingly set up, I'm definitely looking towards to see where this story goes from here.
The cuteness factor has DOUBLED!!
2902531
I can understand why Celestia and Luna would take a consort. Most ponies probably have the mindset that because they're the rulers of Equestria and in their minds 'godesses' that it wouldn't be right to to get close to them or try to befriend them.
for a second there....but it didnt. good job dude nice pace too
Awesome can't wait for more!