It only happened yesterday. Fluttershy just can't get over Twilight's accident. Afraid of losing her, Fluttershy begins to steal. Many things. Anything she can get her hooves on hoping they could save Twilight. But not if the cop ponies have something to say about it. Her thievery isn't only getting her attention, it's changing her into something she's not...
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Where are the rest of Twilight's friends?
Don't they care that Twilight is in the hospital apparently in a coma and near death?
Other than that i fear that Fluttershy is starting to steal more for her pleasure and less for Twilight's sake.
2385613
Oh, I wanted to slowly focus on just Twiligtht and Fluttershy for now. As I write more I'll add the rest of the Mane Six.
2385622
Ok, i just thought it was odd that only Fluttershy was near Twilight while the rest of her friends where not in the hospital.
Oh Fluttershy....
2385622
what you wanted to do is no excuse for ignoring common sense. you could just have them taking turns or something and Fluttershy happened to be the one there at the time. All it needs is an extra couple of sentences to explain that. it's still unlikely that she'd be the only one in there, but it's more plausible than her friends just not showing up.
interesting idea, anyway.
This ruins every bit of atmosphere you built up in the chapter before that point. If it's a dark or sad story, silly humor is rarely a good idea.
In case you misinterpret that, it's all concrit, not flaming. I like dark stories, and klepto is cool. Improve this so people can enjoy it, and you'll get a lot more upvotes and comments.
lol I like
:i love it
moar