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Rainbow Dash is a mercenary at the top of her game. It's a difficult but fun way of life for the rural Ponyville warrior.
One day, she receives an offer significantly different than the usual bounty of courier job: a minor noble named Rarity desires an escort to protect her merchant caravan. Begrudgingly, but most certainly in need of money, she accepts. Who knows? Maybe an adventure will be fun?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Apparently the first person to rate this was in a bad mood. I can't read it now, but I felt the need to return it to one like one dislike in the meantime. Onwards, dear Journeyman!
this is pretty cool for a first chapter. if there is more it is only a bonus.
2377448
I kinda expected it. An AU with humanoids? That's almost taboo in fanfiction, or at least MLP.
2377510
I got about four chapters planned, but I really don't know where to take it. I made this chapter in about August.
2377573 Turns out I did have time to read it, and I have to say that I was not mistaken in my rating. At first I was afraid it would be just the names/personalities got ported over, but that was not the case. It also works very well as a hook. Dash having wings but having to keep them a secret? Now I'm wondering why they're secret, what unicorns will be like, where the others are in this universe, and so much more. Every one of your stories has been great, and this is no exception.
that was awesome!
Any story with your characteristic description gets my thumbs up.
Um, was Rainbow flying around naked? Sure seemed like it. I am curious why she can't reveal her wings, she obviously isn't the only one with wings?
2377732>>2377587
Yeah, she was flying around mostly naked. Had pants on, but no shirt.
I suppose it was a little unclear, but she wasn't trying to hide her wings. If wings had armor, they wouldn't work, because that would weigh them down and she couldn't fly. She tucked them under her armor so they wouldn't get hurt. I explain a little more when she meets an armor smith in chapter 2. She needed to fight in an enclosed space, and flying wouldn't work so well in an enclosed forest.
2377762 Ah, but if she armored her wings and monted swords on the end she'd have two extra weapons while on the ground.
2377732>>2377587
Oops. I see what you two were talking about now. I don't know why that line about not revealing her wings was in there. I guess I missed that when I rewrote the chapter.
Don't worry about plot hooks, Minitheif; I have more where those came from. Just wait until we meet Rarity.
2392431 Does that mean we may see armored sword wings in future chapters?
2392549
I can't even picture how that would work, let alone how to write it. I'm leaving the pace of the story very free, however, so it's still up for grabs. I might even add a Slice of Life tag to it, for how segmented and functionalized the story is likely to end up being. There is no end goal, no three arc storyline, no climactic battle, no Big Bad.
Unless I can write one.
Think of this story as a D&D campaign, whereas I am the Dungeon Master. That is what I am doing for this story. If I can find something cool to add, I will do it. There are games writers play in wily ways, but sly is the Journeyman's mind.
2392575 Hmm, actually you're probably right, it probably wouldn't work. It would work on a pegasus because their back is horizontal, and as such their wings are too. So they can just swing their wing forward to attack someone, if they had a sword attached that is. A winged human though would have their wings vertical in a standing position, the only way to attack would be to flap and I don't think they'd come around the front anough for a slicing attack. I could be wrong though, er, sorry for rambling there.
2392431 I'm not worried about the hooks, I'm excited! And you're not helping it! Get back to writing! Raargh!
I want to start by saying that I'm definitely enjoying the D&D vibe this story is laying down. I can definitely see Dash's personality meshing itself well with the warrior class. Who needs good armor when you got speed and power? XD
Hopefully other readers won't immediately rag on it just because it's humanized. I mean if the first chapter is any indication, this series is gonna be a right awesome adventure. Still it's pretty refreshing to see an author to not constantly adhere to the status quo and mix it up a bit. This is fan-fiction after all!
Regardless, I'm looking forward to reading the next installment.
This is really enjoyable. I'm looking forward to more.
First thing I thought of when I read the title:
2447585>>2414114>>2393188
It looks like I might have the next chapter finished tonight. Who knew I could actually write more on this?
2485493
If there is one thing I am terrible at, it's making titles. If you were guessing, you are correct in discovering where i got this one. In the very first draft, I listened to that song religiously in order to get myself in the mood for the medieval feel.
2710623 Yes! And I'd say most of us knew there was more that you could write about this. It's not labeled "incomplete" for nothing!
Also, if you're finishing the chapter tonight, would that mean it'll be up tonight/tomorrow early or do you have prereaders to send it through first? I'm not likely to respond so that you can get back to your stuff (i.e. the next chapter).
2710623
Another installment is on the way? This is awesome news
I guess even the Journeyman himself can only resist the Dungeon Masters calling for so long XD
2710788>>2710812
It'd probably be another day or so before the next one is up; editors take their own time with real life events as well. I still have to write a scene, and add some familiar faces. Scootaloo and Rarity make an appearance. Plus, a little world building. I must admit, I'm having a lot of fun world building a medieval setting. Perhaps I could do something with this fic.
Yay, this story was not forgotten! I hope that we can get more chapters soon. Loving the story so far, you put a lot of detail into it.
What impresses me most about this chapter is the lavish amount of details that are presented to the reader. I mean it's certainly no easy feat bringing to life the complexities of a medieval esque society in a believable manner. Looks like someone did their homework
But aside from the setting I think what really makes the story seem genuine is the lens you've provided through Dash. She is a warrior/mercenary, with instincts and mannerisms that reflect that profession. Everything from naturally gauging a stranger's fighting prowess, to being cautious of environments that would prevent use of her primary weapon...Etc.
Anyway I certainly hope it's as enjoyable to write as it is for us fans to read, cause I can't wait to find out what happens next XD
I love that I can read this and get a medieval setting and character analysis and still continue reading and only get more and more detailed...great job on the behavioral mannerisms of dash as a merc...thinking about sizing her opponent, wary of corners and passageways, and the extra blade...nice one.
Cannot wait how this story plays out.