• Published 5th Apr 2013
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The Royal Ponyville Orchestra - Distaff Pope



Octavia has finally been promoted to first chair, unfortunately for her, that chair is in the new (and as of yet unformed) Royal Ponyville Orchestra. Can Octavia lead the new orchestra to greatness? Probably not.

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Day 14

I woke up to the familiar beeping of a cardiac monitor and without having to open my eyes knew immediately where I was. Having a near death experience and waking up in a hospital was actually managing to become more of a nuisance than a cause for concern, which itself was cause for concern. I let out a groan, “Ugh… how bad is it—”

Before I could finish my sentence I felt a pair of forelegs wrap themselves tightly my midsection. The same midsection that had been crushed during last night’s festivities/near death experience. “Vinyl,” I said, as my eyes popped open, confirming that my assailant was indeed my roommate, “Breath… can’t.”

“Oh right, sorry” she said as she pulled away. Now that I was no longer asphyxiating, I gave my roommate closer look. Her eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks were stained, and her hair was unkempt, even by her standards. Had she been crying? I don’t think I had ever seen her cry.

Vinyl sniffed, lending strength to my theory that she was crying, “What the hay were you doing out there? You don’t just wander into a mosh pit without… Why would YOU wander into a mosh pit?”

I tilted my head, “Mosh pit?”

She facehoofed, “The place where all the ponies were dancing and throwing themselves against each other? You know, the place you were almost crushed to death at?”

“Ahh yes, that mosh pit. Obviously, I didn’t know that it was called a mosh pit and that I should avoid it for some reason. In truth, I was so enraptured by your stage presence that I probably would have ignored such warnings even if I was aware of them.”

Vinyl blushed, her normally white cheeks were tinged a delightful shade of crimson. “You mean I caused you to wander out into the mosh pit?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that you caused me to wander in, it’s more like… You aren’t responsible for my little accident. It was my own stupidity that led to that.”

My roommate glared at me, “You almost died, Tavi, and you are brushing it off like it’s no big deal. Do you know what it was like for me to see you being crushed by a mob of ponies that I had created? If something terrible had happened…” She stopped speaking and started crying, not just sniffling but actual proper sobbing.

“It was terrible, Tavi. I couldn’t do anything, I could only watch as the few ponies who had tried to give you space were pushed back by the idiots who were trying to help. I felt so stupid and helpless, and I have been sitting here all night thinking that I would never forgive myself if things had gone worse and hoping you don’t hate me for almost getting you killed and—”

I hugged her, ignoring the pain in my chest such an action caused, “It’s alright Vinyl, it wasn’t your fault, it was an accident. I am here, I’m fine, everything is fine. I promise. Besides, you should know by now that near death experiences are a near daily occurrence for me.”

Vinyl sniffled once more and smiled, “Yeah, what is this, like… the third time you had a near death experience since you came to Ponyville?”

I nodded. “See, it’s not your fault. It’s the fault of whatever malevolent power has been hounding me for the past two weeks.”

Her smile slowly moved back to a frown, “I know you are joking, but I have to ask, have you always been surrounded by death and catastrophe, or is this just something that started after you moved to Ponyville?”

“I’m sorry to say that up until two weeks ago my life was perfectly, wonderfully ordinary, if a bit drab.”

“Huh,” Vinyl said, “Well, I am just happy you are okay now, or… mostly okay. The doctor says you should be fine if you get a few days bed rest and allow the restorative spells he cast and your own natural earth pony healing ability to fix your ribs. In fact, you should be good to go home today.”

Vinyl smiled happily at her pronouncement, and I failed to contain my laughter.

“While spending a few days in bed with you sounds lovely,” I said after my laughter had subsided, “I do believe I am far too busy to allow for any such delays, and there is no way in Equestria that I will miss the orchestra’s first,” and possibly only, I mentally added, “performance today. So I am afraid I will have to disobey the doctor’s orders no matter how tempting they might sound.” With that, I moved to sit up in bed and succeeded in causing my ribcage to feel like it was about to explode. I quickly lay back down, tears forming in my eye.

“I know the orchestra’s first performance is important to you,” Vinyl said, resting a forehoof on my shoulder in a gesture meant to comfort and console, “But your health is important to me, and I am not about to let you foolishly risk it because of your stupid pride.” I could have sworn we had this same conversation last week, “Twilight is more than capable of leading the orchestra, and we can play without you. I’m sure everypony else in the group would back me up on this if they were here right now.”

I very much wanted to point out that only Lyra and I had any actual official classical training, and that I was the pony placed in charge of ensuring the orchestra’s success, but the look in her eye made me decide that I would have about as much success arguing with her as I would with a wall, and a particularly solid wall at that. I meekly nodded my head, “Very well, Vinyl.”

She leaned in and gave me a tender kiss that I could have sworn lasted for several weeks before she eventually broke it, “I know you’re probably kind of mad at me about this, but I hope you understand that I just want you to be okay, and if I let you go to the performance and something bad happened because of it then I would just… I don’t want to be responsible for you getting hurt again.”

When she put it like that, it almost made me reconsider my plan to sneak out after she had left. Almost. At the very least, she ensured that I would feel guilty about it.

“It’s fine,” I said, hoping to reassure her, “I understand that you have my best interests at heart.”

“Glad to hear it,” Vinyl said, smiling slightly, “Don’t worry, I will be back here as soon as the gig is over to tell you how it went.”

Her mood now drastically improved she trotted off to prepare for the coming concert, leaving me to stare at the ceiling and plan my escape. The first thing I was certain of was that there was no chance in Equestria of me making it out of here on my own. Just moving to sit up had caused me to nearly black out, so walking there was presumably a bad idea. That meant I needed an accomplice, and I could count the number of ponies who might be willing to aid me in a jail break on one hoof.

Now the question became ‘How am I going to get her to the hospital?’ An idea quickly bubbled up to the top of my mind, and I decided that, while it almost certainly wouldn’t work, was at least worth an attempt.

“Can somepony help me plan a party?” I said, speaking as loudly as I could without causing any undue pain.

The second I finished my statement, the pink pony popped up from beside my bedside, smiling brightly. “Did somepony say party?”

That… that shouldn’t have worked. I stared off into space for an unknown length of time trying to figure out just how my idiotic half-baked plan worked. There… I…

“Hello! Earth to Tavi,” Pinkie said, waving her hoof in front of me, “You have the look of somepony who just saw proof that the sane and rational universe concocted by pony minds is merely an illusion meant to keep us from all going absolutely mad.”

“Wait, what?” I asked, finally snapping from a reverie.

“Nothing,” she said, her smile still plastered to her face, “Just wanted to make sure you are feeling okay.”

“Alright then,” I said, trying to smile weakly and… Wait. If I didn’t hear what Pinkie Pie said, how could I transcribe it right now? I shouldn’t have been able to, it’s completely impossible, but I just transcribed every word that escaped her lips and… You know what? I am not going to think about it. I am going to bury this fresh new slice of impossible along with all the other impossible things that happen in this town, and just go on smiling and never ever pondering just how or why something that should be impossible in a sane or rational universe happened, although I highly doubt this new resolution will last. It never does.

Anyways, I smiled weakly, Pinkie Pie bounced up and down (I believe the proper term for such a motion is spronking, which seems… somewhat appropriate), and I put the second part of my plan into motion. “Are you ready for your concert today?” I asked.

“Yupperooni! I’ve been so excited the last few days I can barely sleep, I’ve just been staying in my room practicing the music you picked out. I am so excited I could just…” She trailed off and started to shake violently before confetti and fireworks exploded around her. Like I said, I am beyond caring or questioning at this point. “Explode!”

“It’s a shame that I won’t be able to see it, I would love to attend but the doctor and Vinyl have put me on strict bed rest. Although…” I trailed off in the hopes of piquing Pinkie’s curiosity.

“What?” She asked, still bouncing up and down.

“No, no, forget it, I wouldn’t want you to inadvertently get in trouble helping me get to the concert. Like you said the other day, we are family and I don’t want to risk getting family into trouble.”

“But family should also HELP family, that’s like… the entire point of it. And, I mean, it’s not like you’ d be doing anything super-duper tough right? You’d just be sitting and watching the performance.”

I nodded. “I just want to make sure everything goes well and be there to offer moral support. Nothing more.”

“Well,” Pinkie said, “I could push your wheelchair there so you can watch but only if you Pinkie Promise not to leave it during the performance.”

“Pinkie Promise?” I asked.

“Cross your heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye.” As she spoke her hooves made a series of motions to go with the words, eventually culminating in her placing her hoof against her eye. I sighed and repeated the gesture and chant.

“Great,” she said, “I will go get a wheelchair.” With that, she bounced (spronked?) happily out of her room, allowing me to very carefully raise myself and sit on the bedside before checking the extent of my injuries. My entire midsection was tightly bandaged, and I discovered that if I attempted any strenuous physical activities, such as taking a particularly deep breath, my entire body would fill with a clawing, stabbing sort of pain that would make my vision momentarily go black. It seemed that I would be keeping that Pinkie Promise whether I wanted to or not. As I waited for her to return, Doctor Flatline walked into the ruin.

“Well, I am glad to see you are up, although you really shouldn’t be moving around right now. Any unnecessary physical activity might undo all our work setting and mending your ribs.”

“I’m very sorry,” I said, “I just thought it would help if I stretched my hooves.”

“It very well might,” he said, taking a step closer to me, “But not for the next few days. Until then, I insist that you go home and get plenty of rest. Thanks to your accelerated healing abilities and our regenerative healing spells, you should be able to walk around the house in four or five days. Until then try to limit your movement as much as possible.”

“Of course,” I said, “I wasn’t planning on celebrating Nightmare Night anyways, so there is no trouble there. Hopefully a situation won’t arise in the next few days that forces me to break that promise.” Because this town had been so good about not throwing absolutely insane things at me so far.

“Yes, well even if it does, I am sure other somepony else will be able to deal with it. Now then, do you have someone to watch over you at your house?”

I nodded.

“Of course,” he briefly looked around the room, “Speaking of which, where is Miss Scratch?”

“She is out to get a wheelchair. I take it by your question I can head home?” I asked.

“Yes, I spoke with Miss Scratch earlier and she assures me that you will be getting plenty of bed rest. She was very insistent on that point.” Doctor Flat Line said, “But before you go, I would like to write you a prescription for some pain relief.” He quickly levitated a sheet of paper towards me, with some very illegible writing on it.

“Just bring that to Mr. Phil Popper downstairs, and be sure to get plenty of rest over the next few days.”

I grabbed the sheet of paper and nodded. “I will, and thank you for patching me back up.”

“It’s my job,” he said, before turning towards the door, “Hopefully I won’t be seeing much of you for the next few weeks… or months.”

It would be nice if I could go an entire week without being rushed to the ER, I thought as the doctor left. Probably impossible, but certainly pleasant. Several seconds later, Pinkie returned, pushing the wheelchair. “Ready to get going?” She asked, struggling to keep from bouncing.

“Just give me a second to…” I struggled to get to my hooves, as my body howled in protest, but several laborious minutes later, I was seated (somewhat) comfortably in the wheelchair. “Okay, let’s get moving, but could you please refrain from any erratic movements?” I asked.

“Sure thing,” she said, “Safety is my other middle name. Pinkamina Diane Safety Pie.”
Several seconds later, I was gripping to the wheelchair for dear life as we flew down a hallway, with Pinkie perched firmly atop the foreleg rests, letting out an ecstatic “Whee!” To her credit, we were moving in a perfectly straight line. A perfectly straight line heading towards a very hard wall.

“Pinkie! Stop this instant!” The literal-minded pony complied with my request and brought the wheelchair to a complete halt. Unfortunately, her sudden disregard for the conservation of momentum didn’t extend to me and I completed my trip towards the wall as planned.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry Tavi,” she said as she scooped me off the floor, “I was just having so much fun pushing you around, and then I thought it would be more fun if I started surfing on the wheelchair, and I kind of forgot that you weren’t feeling well or strapped into your wheelchair or anything.”

I winced as she deposited me back in the chair, “It’s fine just… let’s go to the pharmacy, I need to turn in a prescription.”

“Okey dokey lokey,” she said, “And I promise I won’t do anything crazy this time. I mean, nothing too crazy. You know, I won’t do anything that might put you in danger like race through the halls of the hospital. Ooh! We should do a wheelchair race. Ready! Set!”

I cut her off, “Pinkie, please remember that I have had several bones broken in the last twenty-four hours, and would hate to have any more added to that list.” Assuming I hadn’t broken any bones when I ran into a wall headfirst which… Well, I didn’t seem concussed at the moment, so that was a positive. We made our way to the pharmacy, I turned in the prescription, took one of my Oxycoltin, and we went on to the main show, while I did my best to tune out Pinkie’s incessant chatter. After about twenty minutes the painkiller made that task substantially easier.

“We’re here!” Pinkie said as she brought the wheelchair to a far less abrupt stop. “Now, you’re kind of in the back, so nopony in the orchestra should see you, and remember, you said you wouldn’t leave your chair for the performance.”

I nodded my head at that as the opiate pulled me further into its soft embrace. The world seemed to be both brightened and dulled, and my very body felt as if it were about to float away. “Great, hope you enjoy the performance.” Pinkie said before bouncing away.

There was a brief wait before the orchestra finally assembled under one of Ponyville’s pavilions, and by that time a substantial crowd had gathered. Amongst the masses, I could identify Rarity, Bon Bon, Applejack, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Royal Riff. Of course he would be there, probably just waiting to swoop in the moment things went wrong. As the orchestra finished it’s preparations, he walked towards the orchestra and I felt the muscles in my neck tighten. I rolled closer to the orchestra to overhear what would happen next.

“So, where is the ringleader of your little circus?” He asked as he approached, “Did she finally realize that she had no chance of making a successful orchestra and flee back to Canterlot with her tail tucked between her legs?”

Vinyl stepped forward and answered him, “Actually, not that it is any of your business, she is in the hospital recovering from several broken ribs.”

His sneer quickly evaporated and turned into one of something resembling concern, “I see, then since she is currently incapacitated, I feel it would be for the best if we buried the metaphorical hatched and I took over the orchestra allowing her to recover.” Oh, he was clever. If he hadn’t already made his extreme distaste for me public I might have believed him. Thankfully, Vinyl didn’t consider his offer for a second.

“Not a chance, dude,” she said after she finished laughing in his face. “If I let you run the orchestra, I am pretty sure Tavi would kill me. Besides, you’ve been nothing but a jerk to me and my friends.”

He scowled and stomped off as the orchestra finished it’s set up, muttering and cursing as he left. For the sake of civility, I will not transcribe what he said here. As he returned to the crowd, Twilight turned to face the orchestra, and their inaugural performance began. To my surprise, they were actually quite good. In fact, they were absolutely wonderful. They played through Beethoofen’s Eighth Concerto with gusto, and the music combined with the painkillers to transport me to a state of bliss. They weren’t just technically proficient (although not flawless), they played with a certain zeal and fervor that was lacking in all of the orchestra’s I had dealt with previously, and my inability to accurately describe it is infuriating.

Their performance ended far too soon, and I found myself wishing that I could have listened to them play all day. Seconds after they finished their last note, the entire audience was stomping their hooves wildly. The entire audience sans one particular pony and his lackeys. He stepped towards the pavilion as the last of the applause died down. “I admit, your little band has a certain charm to it, and I am feeling rather charitable today, so I will overlook your previous insolence, and give you the chance to help me form a proper orchestra.” He gestured towards a small cadre of unicorns in the crowd. “Each one of those ponies with me has more than ten years of orchestral experience, and it is just a matter of time before Princess Luna and the rest of this town decide to have an actual orchestra representing them.”

“Well,” Rarity said, moving to the front of the crowd, “I can’t speak for Princess Luna and I certainly can’t speak for an entire town, but I would much rather have Ponyville be represented by ponies who love this town and bring that love to their performances than by ponies who just see this orchestra as another job.”

Several ponies murmured in agreement at that, and while I wouldn’t say that I loved the town, I certainly knew better than to complain at that particular moment. “Hmph,” Royal Riff said, “I wouldn’t expect some townspony to be able to discriminate between a proper orchestra and some rabble with passing musical knowledge. The important thing is that Princess Luna will see reason, Celestia appointed me as her court musician, and I am sure Luna will have the good sense not to entrust some mare with less than five years of actual orchestral experience with Equestria’s second most prestigious orchestra.” Thankfully the painkillers were still in effect and I just shrugged off my rival’s insults. The orchestra had played brilliantly, and for the first time in days I felt like we might have an actual chance of creating something worthy of Princess Luna. At the very least, the town was looking upon my version of the orchestra favorably.

“Yeah, well if Luna had wanted you to be in charge she probably would have put you in charge in the first place instead of going with Tavi. Face it Royal Riff, the orchestra is staying in Tavi’s hooves.” While I certainly admired my friend’s loyalty, had I really done that much for the orchestra? I gave everypony who auditioned a job, we only practiced together once, and I was unable to play an active role in our first performance. One could even make a convincing argument that I was the least useful member of the orchestra.

Thankfully, that train of thought was interrupted as a familiar grey pegasus flew up into the sky. “Oh! Royal Riff, I think I have a letter in here for you.” She searched through her mailbags before pulling out a letter adorned with the Royal Seal of Equestria. “Here you go,” she said, as she brought the letter over to him, “It’s from the princess.”

“I know who it is from,” he said, as he angrily snatched the letter out of her hooves, “Now this should finally put an end to your town’s little mockery of an orchestra and allow me to perform my duties without obstruction.”

He opened the letter and began to read aloud, “Dear Royal Riff, while I admire your passion for this project, I must remind you that I sent you to Ponyville to perform in an advisory capacity, and your earlier letter gave me no convincing reasons on why I should replace Octavia. If you are unable or unwilling to assist her, I suggest you come back to Canterlot so that…” He trailed off and the letter fell from his hooves.

“No,” he said, “This has to be some kind of joke.” He pointed a hoof at Ditzy Doo, “You all bribed her to give me this… obvious forgery of a letter. No pony in their right minds would choose such an inexperience mare over one of the premier musicians in Canterlot.”

Vinyl took a deep breath before responding, “Look, I know we don’t exactly see eye to eye on things, but you know, maybe you could stop trying to destroy the orchestra and start actually, you know, doing what the Princess requested you to? I know Tavi is, or was, a really big fan of yours, and I see no reason why the two of you should—”

“Shut up, you insufferable stuck-up unicorn bitch!” Royal Riff punctuated his retort by slapping Vinyl across the cheek. The crowd gasped and before any pony else could think of a response I had already closed most of the difference separating us. I don’t know if it was the painkillers or my pure undiluted anger, but I hardly noticed any pain coming from my broken ribs.

“That is quite enough,” I said, “If you have any problems with the way my orchestra is managed, I suggest you bring it up with me as opposed to taking it out on those that are dear to me.”

Royal Riff turned to face me, his golden eyes blazing, “And here we have the ringleader of this little mockery, fresh out of the hospital to torment me.”

Vinyl inched over to me and whispered, “I thought you said you were going to stay in the hospital.”

“Sorry dear, as much as I love you, there was no way in Equestria I was going to miss the orchestra’s first performance. We can discuss it more later, but right now, I feel the need to deal with Mr. Riff.” My attention turned back towards my former hero, “Since you came to this town you have done nothing but try to undermine my, and by extension Princess Luna’s, work on the Royal Ponyville Orchestra. Up until thirty seconds ago I was hoping we could reach a resolution that would be satisfactory for all parties, but now I am afraid I must issue an ultimatum. Leave Ponyville or I will inform the princesses of your behavior, although I suspect Princess Sparkle is already planning on reporting you.” I gestured a hoof towards our conductor, and the blood drained from Royal’s face. How he didn’t notice the alicorn princess earlier, I will never know.

He let out a primal roar, “No! You don’t get to win! I spent my entire life working for the tiniest bit of recognition. Before me, nopony had even considered the idea of an earth pony being a proper musician. Without me you would have never gotten a hoof in the door, and what do I get for all my hard work? A pat on the back and a job where I can fade into obscurity. That was fine though, I thought, at least I got a little recognition, at least I knew that the Princesses valued my dedication, but then I find out that they gave a job any musician would kill for to some earth pony who is only notable because of how frequently her performances end in disaster.”

Royal Riff took a breath in a futile attempt to calm himself, “I looked into you, you know, to see why the Princesses might have chosen you over somepony more qualified, and I couldn’t find a single solitary reason. You were right in the center of the Gala disaster, you’ve only been in an actual proper orchestra for two years, and to top it all off, you are barely old enough to buy a drink, but the princesses chose you anyways, and it’s not fair.”

Something unexpected happened then, my nemesis started to cry, “It’s not fair that I worked my entire life fighting for every last bit of recognition I could find, and then a third chair cellist gets everything that should have been mine. I cleared the way and then you got everything, and it’s not fair. It’s not right. You didn’t earn this, you didn’t work for it, but I did. I did and you’re… you’re nothing.” He continued to talk, but I had heard enough. As much as I wanted to find him completely and totally irredeemable (believe me, I would have loved to), his ranting reminded me of my own frame of mind a week ago. Yes, he was a truly insufferable ass, but it was all too easy for me to imagine myself being as angry and bitter as him if I had never come to Ponyville. With a sigh, I approached him and patted him on the back.

“You’re right,” I said, “It’s not fair. You worked harder than anypony else, and you never got the recognition you wanted. I can understand that, and to a degree, I can empathize with that. But your actions are harming the cause you worked for your entire life.”

He looked up at me in confusion, and I took the opportunity to elaborate, “This is the first time in Equestrian history that an earth pony has been chosen to lead an orchestra, and instead of working to overturn centuries of conventional wisdom about the role of earth ponies in the musical arts, we are squabbling amongst each other and dooming both ourselves and the orchestra to failure. Now, we can keep fighting, or we can put our differences aside and work together to silence our detractors once and for all by creating the finest orchestra the world has ever seen. I will leave that choice to you, but rest assured that if you hurt any of my friends again, I will end you.”

The fire in his eyes had burnt out and was replaced with a steely determinism, “I suppose there is some honor in making peace with your enemy for the greater good, and based on what I heard today, if we combine our talents, we could make a truly remarkable orchestra. That is, if you’d have my assistance.”

I shook my head, “No, if we are going to do this, we are working as equals, you were right about having more experience than I, and I would be a foal not to use it as much as possible. However, I do have one tiny request.”

“What is that, he asked?”

“Apologize to Vinyl, your behavior earlier was simply unacceptable, and if you are going to be working with us, you need to make amends with the orchestra.”

He let out a sigh and turned to face my roommate, “You are absolutely right. Miss Scratch, I apologize for my earlier outburst, I was under quite a bit of stress, and while I don’t expect you to forgive me immediately, I do hope you will give me the chance to atone, as I legitimately regret my words and actions.”

“Alright,” Vinyl said, “I still don’t like you, but Tavi is giving you a chance for some reason, so I guess I will support her. I still think you are a jerk.”

“I suppose that is about as much as I could have expected,” he said after Vinyl finished speaking. He turned back to face me and bowed slightly, “Now if you will excuse me, I must prepare for our next practice session and start work on integrating the orchestras. Do you have any particular time in mind?”

I shook my head, “I hadn’t considered it yet, but I think the sooner we get the orchestras working together the better. Would you be opposed to meeting Saturday afternoon?”

“Saturday sounds fine, I will be in touch.” With that, he walked over to his cadre of unicorns and headed back towards wherever he was lodging.

After that, the crowd dispersed, and with it, the adrenaline that had sustained me evaporated, and I quickly found myself regretting the decision to leave my wheelchair. “Vinyl, I know you probably intend to yell at me later for breaking my promise and leaving the hospital, but for now, could you help me get back in my wheelchair?” I said, wincing.

Before I had time to finish my question, Vinyl had retrieved my wheelchair, and was gently lowering me into it by way of her magic. I was more than happy to let her coddle me at the moment partly due to the rather excessive amount of pain I was in, and partly due to the fact that painkillers are a truly wonderful invention that can make most of a mare’s problems disappear. “I am sorry again for breaking my promise, but you have to understand that there was simply no chance of me missing the orchestra’s first performance,” I said, as Vinyl pushed me back towards our house.

She sighed, “I know, and I should be angrier about that, but right now I am too busy thinking about how cool it was of you to shut down Royal Riff like that, although I am a bit confused about why you went all kind and forgiving on him at the end, I mean, he is a bit of a jerk.”

“That’s right, he is,” I said, “Does he, perhaps, remind you of any other jerks when they first moved to Ponyville?”

“Wait, no, that’s totally not fair,” Vinyl said after a few seconds of though, “I mean, sure you were a bit standoffish when you first got here, but you were nowhere near as bad as him. Like, you at least tried to put your best hoof forward.”

“You’re right,” I said as she continued to push me through the streets, “But do you know what the biggest difference between me and Royal Riff is?”

“Uhmm, your body is sleek, toned, and curvy in all the best places, while his is kind of flabby?”

“Ye—No, Vinyl, I am trying to make a point here, and that is that if I had never come to Ponyville, if I had just stayed in Canterlot to scrabble for any minor accolades I could find devoting myself completely to my craft then there is a very real possibility that I might have wound up as bitter and angry as he was. If you’ll recall, I wasn’t exactly pleasant when I first moved here.”

“I suppose,” Vinyl said, “But really, I mean, he is still a jerk.”

I nodded my head at that, “He is, but that… I don’t know, I want to think that there is a good pony somewhere deep inside him and that he isn’t completely irredeemable. Although, I must admit, it did take all of my willpower not to kick his flank when he slapped you.”

Vinyl moved to nuzzle my check, “Yeah, you were super angry earlier. I mean, I thought Royal Riff was going to disintegrate under the weight of that death glare you gave him.”

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” I said, struggling to control my grin.

“Tavi, I love you and all, but if I ever get you that angry, I think I will have to flee Equestria.”

Our conversation trailed off after that, and my mind turned to… I honestly can’t remember what it was. There was a long string of nonsensical musing fueled by the Oxycoltin before my mind finally turned to something that seemed important.

“Vinyl, do you recall the day I first moved here?” I asked.

“You mean when you yelled at pretty much everypony and upset the entire town?”

I nodded, not feeling like dignifying that with a proper response, “Well, something about that day has been bugging me for quite a while, and I just now put my hoof on it. Ditzy Doo punched a massive hole in the wall of our kitchen and less than a day later the hole was gone. I don’t recall anypony fixing it, so I am curious about what happened.”

“Oh, that’s simple,” she said, “The Unicorn Repair Corps paid us a visit.”

“And let’s pretend for a moment that I was some sort of uneducated simpleton who had never heard of the Unicorn Repair Corps before, what exactly do they do?”

“Right, well, you know how there are like… a bunch of accidents in Ponyville?”

I nodded.

“Well… A few years back, a bunch of ponies got together and decided that since the town was getting leveled on a semi-annual basis, we should have some unicorns who go around and fix up any property that gets damaged during whatever crazy thing happens in town.”

That… actually made quite a bit of sense. Terrible things certainly had a tendency of happening in Ponyville, and it was somewhat reassuring to know that some protective measures were in place. It also explained why the Ponyville General Hospital was almost twice the size of the Royal Canterlot Hospital, another mystery I had spent some small time pondering sense moving to this town.

Several minutes later, I was back in our house and resting comfortably on the couch while Vinyl took great care to tuck me in. “So,” I said, “You haven’t reprimanded me for my earlier deception yet.”

She shrugged, “Like I said earlier, I am just not that upset. Yes, you lied, but then I got to thinking, and if the shoe was on the other hoof, I probably would have done the same thing. Hell, I am surprised you didn’t try to make your way on the stage.”

“Believe me, I planned to, and if not for the Oxycoltin I probably would have, but thanks to its mind-numbing influence, I was more than happy to stare into space and listen to the music.”

“Well, I guess that’s good,” she said as she finished tucking me in, “Just promise me you will try to take it easy for the next few days?”

I nodded my head, “Of course, Vinyl. Although, do you think I could have something to drink?”

“Yeah, sure,” Vinyl said, “You’re okay with water right, I mean, I have other stuff, but I don’t think you are supposed to take alcohol with Oxycoltin.”

“Sounds fine,” I said as she went into the kitchen. I decided to close my eyes while I waited only to open them several hours later as a stabbing pain in my chest pulled me from my slumber.

A groan escaped my lips as one hoof blindly searched for the bottle of Oxycoltin. Why the doctor didn’t give me any painkillers for my previous misadventures, I will never know, but I am certainly grateful for the aid he did give me this time.

I found both the pill bottle and the glass of water Vinyl had provided earlier next to my makeshift bed on the coffee table, and I quickly swallowed another pill before lying back down and waiting for the medicine to take effect. As the interminable minutes passed by, I started to wonder where my roommate was. “Vinyl?” I asked through pained breaths. The seconds ticked by and there was no response. A part of me wanted to get up and search for my missing roommate, but was quickly overruled by the much larger part of me that wanted to lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling.

The door opened half an hour later and both Vinyl and Rarity trotted into the room. “Hey Musicbutt,” Vinyl said upon seeing I was awake.

“Musicbutt?” I asked, trying to figure out where the new nickname had come from. For her part, Rarity was managing to keep a straight face.

“Yeah,” Vinyl said, “On account of that music thingy on your flank. Thought of it this morning and had been dying to hear what you think of it.”

If she thought it would be anything other than complete hatred, my marefriend was completely and utterly insane, “First of all,” I said, “That music thingy is a treble clef. Second of all, I detest the nickname, although I believe that was your desired reaction when minting it. Thirdly, you calling me ‘Musicbutt’ is rather hypocritical considering the fact that your cutie mark consists of two bridged eighth notes. Finally, why in Equestria would you bring Rarity here without giving me time to properly groom myself?” I punctuated the last point by running a hoof through my mane in a desperate attempt to style it.

“Please,” Rarity said, moving to sit on the love seat, “While I do value fine grooming, I certainly don’t expect a friend so freshly released from the hospital to have every hair in its proper place. Besides, considering your circumstances you look absolutely radiant.” Ah yes, “considering your circumstances,” or as it is more commonly known, code for “everything I am about to say is a lie.” I groaned, but decided it for the best not to call my friend out.

“Thank you,” I said, before turning my attention back to Vinyl, “Now I am going to ask you, what in Equestria made you think calling me Musicbutt would be a good idea?”

She shrugged, moving to sit on the far end of the couch that was currently doubling as my makeshift bed, “I guess I thought it would be funny, and it was. Although I was totally expecting you to get into like… Angry Tavi mode. I mean angry Musicbutt mode. Sorry about that, still getting used to the new nickname.”

The glare I was giving her could cause paint to peel off the wall, but to her credit, Vinyl was unflinching.

“You alright Tavi, you kinda look like your stomach is upset.”

“No, I am attempting to replicate the death glare I gave Royal Riff earlier.”

“Oh… well, uhmm… You are kind of doing it wrong,” Vinyl said, “I mean, the glare you gave Double R was like the fires of Tartarus had been loosed upon Equestria, this one looks more funny and constipated. But good effort.”

I sighed, and my apparently ineffectual death glare dissipated. “I am stuck with the nickname Musicbutt, aren’t I?”

Vinyl nodded.

“Could you at least do me the small courtesy of not using it in public? I am already quite uncomfortable being called Tavi in public. It is far too familiar.”

“Uhmm… Tavi, I don’t know if you remember this, but we are kind of dating. Familiarity is the name of the game.”

I sighed, “Yes, I am aware of that Vinyl, but just because we are… familiar with each other while in the confines of our own home doesn’t allow us to be so unreserved in public. It’s just… improper.”

Vinyl rolled her eyes, “This is a big thing for you isn’t it?”

I nodded.

“Fine, the nickname won’t leave this house, cross my heart and hope to fly.”

“That’s… I suppose that is sufficient. Still, must you insist on devising new idiotic nicknames for me? I would think Tavi would be more than sufficient.”

She nodded her head while Rarity and I exchanged exasperated glances.

“Well, at least we reached a somewhat agreeable arrangement,” I said before turning to Rarity, “And thank you for coming to visit. I am assuming this is in relation to the meeting we discussed yesterday?”

“Of course darling, once I heard about your injuries, I decided I simply must come and visit you. I even provided the wine.” She gestured to a few bottles sitting next to the door that I had failed to note earlier.

“Wonderful, how have you been since I saw you last?” I asked as Vinyl grasped the bottles of wine in her telekinetic aura.

“Absolutely terrific, thanks to you,” Rarity said, “All of my costumes are finished and I was actually able to enjoy the Fall Harvest Festival for once. I am also looking forward to being able to celebrate Nightmare Night tomorrow and unveiling my new costume.

I smiled as I felt the pain in my chest begin to subside. We talked for a while after that, I abstained from having any wine for fear of it interfering with my painkillers, and Vinyl made me miss the days when her preferred nickname for me was Tavi. Honestly, the very idea that she would thing Musicbutt was appropriate was… Well, for starters it was completely hypocritical as I had just as much reason to call her Musicbutt as she did, and then of course we had the fact that it just seemed vulgar. It didn’t seem like something ponies would say in polite company, and certainly not to somepony they were in a relationship with. I would never disrespect Vinyl by calling her such a thing, no matter how apt it was.

Still, the rest of the evening passed pleasantly and the three of us discussed the little minutiae of the past few days, Pinkie Pie’s latest antics, my thoughts on the orchestra’s performance, mane styling techniques and other things of negligible import. Rarity and I did most of the talking while Vinyl would occasionally interrupt with a crass (although typically humorous) joke that was slightly relevant. I will leave the content of such jokes to the imagination of whoever reads this journal as I feel no desire to transcribe a joke that ends in “As the Princess said to the stallion.”

Finally, Rarity and I said our good-byes and it was just me and Vinyl. “Thank you for bringing Rarity over,” I said, still feeling the weight of the Oxycoltin slowing down my thoughts, “Tonight was absolutely lovely, and a perfect capstone to a surprisingly wonderful day.”

“Wonderful?” Vinyl asked, taking Rarity’s place on the love seat and leaving the couch to me, “You woke up in a hospital. That seems like a pretty bad thing.”

“True,” I said, “But at this point I just see waking up in the hospital as a baseline. Living in Ponyville has forced me to lower the bar substantially for what constitutes a good day, and bringing things to a satisfactory resolution with Royal Riff and spending the evening with two of my favorite ponies more than makes up for the minor inconvenience of almost dying.”

Was this town turning me into an actual optimist or was I just high on Oxycoltin? Hopefully the latter, as I don’t think I could handle waking up every morning thinking that everything was perfectly fine. I would be insane inside of a week.

Vinyl seemed to have a similar thought, “Okay, who are you and what have you done with Tavi?” She said after a few seconds of thought.

“Really?” I asked, arching an eyebrow, “You’re going to use a line that clichéd? I don’t think that line has ever been used outside of dime store serials and atrociously written plays. Certainly not in real life.”

She let out a sigh of relief before leaning over to give me a quick kiss on the lips, “There, that sounds like the Musicbutt I know and love.”

“Heh… girl kiss,” I said as she ran her forehoof through my mane. I blame the painkillers for my less than coherent reaction. That and the fact that Vinyl’s lips are wonderfully, almost perfectly soft, and the fur around her muzzle feels like a soft down comforter. It’s just… absolutely perfect, and if it weren’t for my shattered ribs I would have gladly taken her back to my room and I would have returned the kiss.

“You know,” Vinyl said, “For such a fancy mare you really can be—”

“Oh, shut up,” I said, idly waving a hoof at her.

She smiled happily, “Yes ma’am. Now, do you want to sleep down here or upstairs?”

“I would prefer to sleep in my own bed,” I said, “But I don’t think that will happen as it would require me to climb stairs.”

“Say no more,” she said, and before I could break her command I found myself wrapped in her telekinetic aura and floating up the stairs. Her magic was able to move me through the air without exacerbating my injuries, and less than a minute later I was delicately being lowered into my own bed.”

“Thank you, Vinyl,” I said after she finished tucking me in, “You really are wonderful.”

“I know, but thanks for saying it anyways.” Extremely egotistical perhaps, but wonderful, and sweet, and funny, and… she was walking out the door.

“Just where do you think you are going?” I asked.

“Uhmm… to my bed, I was kind of up all night looking after you and am pretty tired, especially after listening to you and Rarity talk about boring stuff for like… five hours.”

“It wasn’t boring, what part of mane styling techniques sounds tedious to you?”

“Like… the whole thing, I mean, I just put some gel in it, brush it to the side and am good to go the whole day long. Heck sometimes it lasts for two days, which is great because then I can shave like… thirty seconds off my morning routine.”

“But wouldn’t your shower wash most of the gel out of your hair?” I asked, a look of concern growing on my face.

She nodded and the implications of her earlier statement clicked into place.

“Go!” I said, pointing one hoof towards the bathroom, “Take a shower right this instant.”

Vinyl groaned, “But I’m tired, and nopony is going to care if I take a shower tonight or tomorrow.”

“I care, and you are taking a shower tonight AND tomorrow. I certainly won’t be spending the night with a mare who hasn’t showered all day.”

“Well, I mean, I wasn’t planning on sleeping with you tonight, didn’t want to accidentally hurt you or anything.”

“Is the mold monster still living in your room?” I asked.

More nodding.

“Then you are either sleeping with me or sleeping on the couch, and no matter what you choose you’re going to go take a shower.” I pointed at the door again, and with a defeated sigh Vinyl trotted off into my bathroom. She returned several minutes later and made her way into my bed, careful not to touch any of my damaged ribs. Her forelegs wrapped themselves tenderly around my neck and I idly ran one forehoof through her now washed hair. It really was remarkably soft, and without the gel in it, it appeared to be naturally feathered. I could have played with it for hours.

“Good night Tavi,” Vinyl said after letting out a yawn, “Wake me up if you need anything.”

Our muzzles nuzzled against the other’s, “I will dear, good night, and thank you again for all your help today. I love you.”

The last thing I saw before I feel asleep was Vinyl’s face, and I tried to commit every last detail of it to memory. Her freshly washed hair curled slightly at the tips, and with her eyes closed she looked somehow softer, with her usual enthusiasm and energy having been replaced with a serene tranquility. It was while meditating upon that image that I finally fell into a deep and lasting sleep filled with pleasant dreams.

Author's Note:

The chapter, she is done. Hooray!

Unfortunately, I have some bad news, there will be a brief (No more than one month) break on the main action of the story as I struggle to write 60+ pages for class during the next two weeks. However, I would be open to doing an in character Q&A about the story so far if anyone had any questions about the narrative they wanted addressed. Just send me a message or leave a comment and the intermission should be posted within the week. Also, I will be (Trying) to edit one chapter a day. As always, feel free to give feedback.