Derpy longed to be accepted... she longed to do something to make anypony happy... When Princess Celestia needs assistance from the invasion of an evil menace, she tries to contact the Mane 6. But unfortunately, they got caught! Who can help them now? Derpy Hooves of course! *Warning: contains love of muffins, fun adventure, adorableness, and just pure Derpiness.
(Note: The Mane 6 are in this story, with Twilight as an Alicorn but I couldn't fit them in the character selection. I can only select 5.)
Chapters (6)
I'm not sure, it isn't exactly easy to read WALLS of text. The paragraphs were EXTREMELY long, you should break off paragraphs more often. Also, you should ALWAYS make a new paragraph when a new character starts talking.
Sorry. I just posted a blog that states that I have a bad habit with that. I'll fix that, I will.
(Silly!)
mmmm what to say what to say
Will I personally thought you would have been a better happy go luckily writer so I like that your going in this detraction.
As for the story well I'm having a hard to get into It.
Why well i'm not an expert, but i'll say what I can. So Derpy is like some mermaid/pony with wings ????
and if she is so how did she eat candy before??? I'm so confused rather the waiting in suspense for the next chapter I'm confused. I don't know if that is a big problem, but it makes my head hurt 
i'm also board Derpys mermaids adventure isn't getting me into it. Were is the conflict maybe that's it
Well maybe the whole mermaid thing is not my cup of tea and i'll just find out in the next chapter I like it ... I guess. It's fine really, but ya what that guy said about the paragraphs it's hard to read sometimes.
Hope I could help ... however I don't think I did. I look forward to you next chapter.
Sounds interesting and funny, so I will read this later. I hope the mermaid thing>>2378117 doesn't mess with Derpy too much. Right now I have 50-70 episodes of naruto to catch up on.
To Princess Cadence
OhmMerGard! You watch Naruto too!!!!!
2410283 yes Naruto is a good show
Anyways sorry for not reading this earlier I have been very busy in school and my friends on RDN made a Skype which seems to be calling me everynight. I like this chapter a lot more then the first because it was funny and therefore didn't to make much sense. Otherwise I can't say it had me LMA because I have a very dry sense of humor, but I like never the less. Can't wait to see how you tie everything togather 
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To Orionstar
2429940 In the third chapter i got one thing to say so listen up
Who ate my candy bar
images.wikia.com/spongebob/images/8/8e/Now_I%27m_going_to_starve!_Patrick.jpg
To Orionstar
Lol
