My Little Immortal: Friendship is Gothic

by Posh

Chapter Six: Because... Vampire!

apples Norse: no tara i dont have your sweater why do you keep asking me why wont you let it go quiet please make it stop quiet please make it stop quiet please make it stop quiet please make it stop quiet please make it stop quiet please make it stop quiet please make it stop quiet please make it stop quiet please make it stop quiet please make it stop quiet please make

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I woke up sexily da next morning. It was snowing and arining and hailing and raining some more outside which made me really fucking depressed, so I was happy. I locked to my left and there was Sweetie Bell. We had doed it all night long bcuz we ere so horny from seeing Gerward Way at da consert, even if he turned out 2 be Discord da whole time. Sweetie Bel was wearing her black and red iron armor made out of red gold and black silver and it was covered in the cutie marks of those who hawd wronged her. I was wearing nothing lol i wuz naked bcuz of all the do it.

Da night before at da consert Discord and his Discordant Disco Dancers (AN SUIT UD DEY R IN DAS SHOW OK FUK OF) got scared wen dey saw Principle Celestia flying in. Dey were scarred bcuz she locked so goffik and dey thought that meant she was connected with Satan. I was super fucking excited to see what Principle Cletus looked like now that she was goffik. She was already not as fucking fat and gross anymore because there are no fat goffs.

I went to the cafeteria 2 get my breakfast. Sweetie Bell, Bleedaloo, Rampage, Ditzy Doo and B'Lood were already there along with Flem and Flan. Flem and Flan used to be gothic magicians but they had to quit becuz all da towns they visited were run by preps who hated goffs. Dey were just about to commit suicide when Princess Nightmare Moon jumped out of a tree and rescued them by kicking them in the stomach until they vomited up all the pills they swallowed but that'sok because they r goffs and goffs simply operate under different rules than the rest of society. Flem and Flan started 2 tell sum moribund jokes.

Suddenly....................da lunch room turned purple and green! "WTF" I screamed. "Do I need to paint da cafeteria again???" I started 2 slitzt muh riztz 2 make da blod go everywhar.

"No Ebony look!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bleated Bleedaloo and suddenly................................Principle Celestia came in2 da room! SHe looked da same as last night but now I could see dat she was only wearing a dress dat made her look skinny! I gasped! "She is not skinny at all! She is still fucking fat and gross! Dat means............................" I gasped. "She is still a prep!!!!!!!!!!!"

Princople Celestia took out a piece of red velvet cake and started 2 eat it prepilly. "Hello everypony as u can c i gave da room a makeoughghghff fhmmmfff fmffmf" she said because her mouth was full of cake so she couldn't talk anymore. All da preps in da room started to clop 4 her. Well we goths just sat there looking at each other and shook our heads all disfusted and shook our heads.

"Cum on Ebony we r going 2 be late 4 skull" (geddit skull lik in dat winnie da poop movie wher dey al fuk an at da end satan blowz up da world lol dat waz da best one) said Sweetie Bell fancying me sexily. I saw Bleedaloo get really sad and depressed and cry bloody goffik tears at the way I shamelessly played her heartstrings like a lyre but it's ok because we r goffs and we r only happy when we r sad.

I was so fucking mad.

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I was so fucking mad! All day I just sat der angrily tinkering about Principle Celestia. "Who da fuck duz she tink she is?>!?!" I gothed gothically. "We goffs half 2 work hard just 2 be goffik an she tanks dat she can be goffik without even trying Well I wont stand 4 it!!!!!!"

But when I looked at Sweetie Bell she was not clopping 4 everyfing dat I was saying. "WTF Sweetie Bell u r not being sportive!!!!!" I junked at her.

but Sweetie Bell just looked at me and shushed me. "Ebony it is the middle of the most important midterm of the year. Can u please keep it down?"

I couldn't fucking believe Sweetie Bell was telling me to shut up!!! I kicked her as hard as we could in the face but that's okay because she FUCKING DESERVED IT DO YOU HEAR ME SHE DESERVED IT YOU ALL DESERVE IT YOU WILL ALL ALL ALL ALL ALL ALL ALL ALL and I left da room crying tears of blood. I cantered depressingly all the way 2 tha girls locker room where I kept all my drugs and weapons and I locked the door. I took out my mariwanna machine gun and started to shoot myself with it over and over again. Sweetie Bell banged on the door but I couldn't hear her because machine guns are really fucking loud.

Suddenly.........................................Spike came out of the machine gun instead of mariwanna! "OMFG how do u fit in there???" I asked confusingly.

"Becuz u 4got 2 turn da safety on" Said Spike as he smoked a pot sigaret. Only it wasn't a pot sigaret. It was................................Principle Celestia!!!

WTF

"Ebony u need 2 go c Sweetie Bell" said Principle Celestia as she swallowed forty cakes. She swallowed forty cakes. That's as many as four tens. And that's preppy.

"No!" I screamed. "Sweetie Bell does not care about me at all! She is not goffik she just pretends she is she is really a prep becausz she likes school more den do it!"

"Whatever I don't care lol" said Principle Celestia. "Just get out of the locker room before I cover u in spiderses."

I did not like spiderses at al. So I ran da fuk away.

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I ran al da way to Ponyville really really fasdt. B'lood was there! "Ebony wutz wrong???" she axed. "Did Nirvana cansel da consert?"

"Nirvana is having a consert!!!!" I screamed happily. Dey r my favorite band!!!!!! "Well Id better go homily and get reddy 4 it." SO I turned around and ran al da way back to Cuntalot. I tried on lotz of different cloves while moshing to helena by MCR. In the end (LOL GEDDIT LIK LINKIN PARK) I chose to wear my horny helmet covered in prep blood dat was pink becuz prepz have sparkly pink blood (lik remember in da discord disco when da prepz had sparkly pink blood o mi satan pplz i cant eremmber al dis sit 4 u) along wif a pair of blak jeanz dat were all ripped up at da niece and a lacy leather blak bra made out of chainz.

Suddenly............................Bleedaloo! "Ebony!" She said. "Do u want 2 go to da conserpplblblbllblblblbmmhhmm?" But she couldn't talk anymore becuz I put my tongue in her mouth and we fancied lol. Den we went 2 da consert.

I saw Lyra and Bon-Bon fancying in da middle of da mosh pit. Dey wer dressed lik goffs but it was obvious dat dey were not goffik becuz their cloves were actshelly pink and purple. Suddenly.................they started doing it!!!!!! And Winona was watching!!!!!!!!

"OMFG" I screamed. "PREPZ DOING IT AT TWELVE O CLOCK" (an in da story da consert is in da day time ok)

All da goffs looked. Kurt Warner stopped singing and blared angirly at dem. "Get dose prepz!!!!!" he shouted in his sexy voice. All da goffs grabbed dem and trough dem out of da moshpit and covered dem in gross stuff like antibiotics and Ovaltine. Everypony clopped super hard and fast bcuz we were so excited dat da prepz were gon.

Suddenly I saw Sweetie Bell cying in a corner.

I gasped!

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I knew dat Sweetie bell was probavbly sad becaus she saw me moshing with Bleedaloo but it should have been ok becuz we r goffs and goffs are promiscuous as fuck. But it wan't. "Omfg Sweetie bell r u ok???" I asked all sensitve.

"Fuck off1!!!" She screamed and ran away crying.

"Itz ok Ebony" said Bleedaloo all goffikally. "I'll get her back."

"Ya ur just gong 2 do it wif her rent u??!?!?!?!" O shooted.

"But Ebony, don't you do it with, like, anything that moives? Where the fuck do you get off judging Sweetie Bell for whatever impropriety you think she's ccommitted?" asked bleedaloo smartly.

"WAAHHHH SHUT UP I HATE LOGIC" And I ran away agian. But this time............I saw Ovalescence. "O shit!!!!" I put on my invisibility scarf. It was dyed red with the blood of goffik martyrs and autographed by Saren.

"Hello? Hello? Is anypony der?" asked da horsekeeper. It was..........................Shinning Armor! Shinning Armor is B'Lood's brother but he is a prep not a goff becuz B'lood got al da goffik jeans and Shinning Armor got all da flawed preppy jeanz. So he lives in Principle Celestia's SChool 4 Gifted Unicorns. He is da janitor lol and sometimes he eats poop.

"Nopony is here u preppy poser son of a bitk" said Me.

'EXCUZ ME. EXCUZ ME WHO SED DAT???" asked Shinning ARmor. Suddenly Ovalescence pointed at da scarf and started 2 meow lowdly. "Ovalescence is der anypony wearing da scarf?" Ovalescence nodded. I knew dat he was about to c me so I threw off my scarf and used my royal canterlot voce. "FUS ROH DAH!" And I blew him up into a thousand pieces but it's oky becauz

Anyway I got back 2 my room. Sweetie bell was watching Da Black Swan with Natalie Portman. In it, a colt and a mare were doing it when suddenly a cereal killer came and killed dem. She laughed at al da blood and dats how I knew she was still goffil

"Sweetie bell r u okay?" I asked concertedly.

"I guess tho." We fancied and had do it sixteen times. Suddenly................................my eyes rolled back and I had a vision. In it............................someponies were coming in2 da school. It was............................da Mayor of Ponyvill and da Royal Guard!!!!!!

I gasped.

Comments

[UseFistNotMouth]

[wubstep pony]

438762 i kknow,irght!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111!!!!11

[Whalesbefreeyo]

I swear the grammar gets worse with every chapter. ...I can't to see what we'll get if this reaches another 6 chapters

Keep it up!

[UseFistNotMouth]

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[Posh]

448888 Oh hey, I haven't written Trixie into the story yet. Thanks for reminding me!

[KartalTheWriter]

I hate to say that I skimmed through the note at the beginning just to make sure it didn't say anything else...
"Bleated Bleedaloo" Scootaloo is a chicken, so I can only assume Bleedaloo must be a sheep. Right?

This made me "He is da janitor lol and sometimes he eats poop." See that? It's called immaturity. Sweet, sweet immaturity.