My Little Immortal: Friendship is Gothic

by Posh

Chapter Ten: There Will Come Goff Rains

Arbitrary neologism: DUN CALL IT A CUM BACK
I BEEN HERE 4 YERZ
ROKKIN MAH PEERZ N PUTTIN PREPZ IN FEERZ
MAKIN DA TEERZ RAIN DOWN LIK A PALLID BLUE MON-SOON
LIZZN 2 DA BASE

GO BOOM

ASPLOSION
OVERPOWERIN
OVER DA CUMPETISHN IM TOWERIN
WREKKIN RALF WEN I DROP DESE LYRAS DAT'L MAKE U CAL DA KURDZ

DUN U DARE STAIRS
U BETTER MOOV
DUN EVER CUMPARE
ME 2 DA REST DATL AL GIT SLICKED N DICKED
CUMPETISHUN'S PAYIN DA PRIZE

IM GONG 2 ZLITZT MUH RIZTZ
MAMA SED ZLILTZT MUH RIZTZ
IM GONG 2 ZLITZT MUH RIZTZ
MAMA SED ZLITZT MUH RIZTZ

---

Lolz dis is da prat in da story wer I goed forwardz in tim 2 sav da future froim da prepz of da future butt wut hadppend was I went in2 a time vortex!111111 N I gut in2 da pabst instead!!! YA SUT DAS FUK UP I CAN DO WUT I WUNT 2 DO ITZ MUH STROY FUKKERZ11!!11666

So wen I gut out of da tim vertefex I locked arund. It looked like I wuz in Cuntinglot again, asept everyfing was in blak n whit n der were littl lines goin all over da place lik in dat espiode were Pinkie Pie found da donkeys n dey had do it 2gether lol remember wen da dinkey had da prat were everyfing was blak in wit datz wut im talking abot. In fact der were no wordz n only kards wif musik in dem.. It wuz plano musk!!!

Cuntalot wuz really pretty wen it wuz blak n whit der wuzz no pink or otter colorz in da world just blak n whit just like I like it. But I tohought I wuz in da future! "OMFG" I sed. "Da war is over n da goffs half one!" Accept I didn't say those words no words came out of my mouth!!! "Where are mah words??" I asked. Den I noticed dat wen I talked words came on2 a card in frunt of me. "Oh!" I said. Bcuz der wuz no words in da world, we had 2 right everyfing on cards n wen we talked da cards came out of our mouths! That's bcuz I went back in tim so far dat I was be4 words were invented! Now everyfung made cents.

I splored Cuntalot 4 a while. It wuz obnoxious 2 me dat I wuz in Pimple Cream's School 4 Gifted Unicrons, butt y wuzn't any[pony der??? Den al of a sudden.....................................she came!!! It wuz............................Princess Candice!!!

"Ebony wut r u dong?" she axed me preppily wif a preppy giggle lik dat bitch Britney Simpson in mah 4th period math class. "U need 2 go 2 klass!"

"FUK OF"! I screamed. "Im nut from da past lik u! I dun need 2 lizzn 2 u!"

Princess Candide gisped. "Well! Dat wuz so rude dat wen u atshaully r born im gong 2 rape u wif flaming dildiss!!!" N she cried away running. I wuz so happy dat she was sad. Den I went 2 class.

I sat down in my desk in the chemistry lab. Da professor in da class wuz Starsail da Breaded. "Ok class 2day we r gong 2 lern how 2 turn water in2 wine. Ebony y dont u n Psycho Mantis cum 2 da front of da class?"

I locked over at da pony Starsail da Breaded wuz talking abott. I gasped. It wasn't a pony at all. It was.....................DICKSWORD! "Tim 2 die u preppy fucking faggot!!!!" I shouted, turning on my royal canterlot voice. "FUS RO"

"Ebony wait!!!" said Dicksord. "Im not evil yet! We r in da ast, rememeber? So dis is be4 I turned in2 a bad guy!!! Im nut even named Discord yet! I'm Psycho Mantis!"

I shopped shotting at him n thought about it. Dat did make perfect cents. If I wuz in da past den it was likety dat I was so far back dat Discord wuzn't Discord yet. "Ok" I giggled suicidally. "Im sorry I nearly truned u 2 ashes."

In the next chapter of Pony Gear Solid, Snake is going to write a letter to Big Boss telling him what he's learned about the magic of espionage.

We went 2 da front of da class. Stockholm da Boarded smiled politely at me. He was a goffik red pony wif a long yellow bread on his face, but I couldn't c dat bcuz dis was be4 color wuz invented (u no lik how da kool old movies r in blak n white??? Datz bcuz dey didn't halv colorz bak den. Colorz wer infented by Martin Luther Kingfish Junior Seau lol I lerned dat in his story class). "OK Mr. Mantiz n Miss Way y dont u show us how 2 turn water into Rhine?"

I punched Discord in da kidneye so hard dat he urinated blood al over da class but datz ok becuz im goffik and u cold do dat kind of ting in da past bcuz it wuz be4 law wuz infented. "Let da profesional handle dis!" I turned on da magic in my horn n pointed it at da water. "MY CHEMICLI ROMANTICO!!!" I shouted.

Suddenly...................I feel in2 a portal. "DAT IZ NUT WUT I WANTED 2 DOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I scremmed as I fell in2 da portal! Lockley i fell in2 mah room in da future. "Prize Satan!" I screamed happily.

Sooty Bench wuz der. She wuz prank calling da Suicide Hotline bcuz we r goffik n datz how we get our kix. "Entropy!" she shrieked. She ran at me n tackled me. We fancied. "How waz da future?"

"Lol Posh 4got wut he wuz gong 2 right in da future so I went 2 da past insted." An idea I thought. "Hey half u seen B'Lood? I feel lik shez mad at me 4 sum raisin."

Silent Bark tinkled about it 4 a sexond. "Mm no. But I no dat Bleedaloo n da otters r tunkering Queen Curstalis 4 trying 2 rap us. Want 2 go hlep?"

I did wnat 2 go hlep. But frist I needed to have a ordainment. So Simple Bore n I had do it 4 a wile. Den wen we were dun we went smexily 2 da chamber of torture. Bleedaloo n Painbow Slash were reading My Little Dashie 2 Queen Crystalis. "NOOOO PLZ" she bagged. "IF I HEAR ONE MORE MENTION OF THE 'EXPLODED TWICE' MEME I'M GOING TO SHIT MY ENTRAILS OUT OF MY ASS!!!"

"Suite up!" sed Painbow Slash. "Ur tearz taste so good!" She stuck a straw in da queen's eye n drank sum tears n a little bit of optic nerve n wen she wuz dun she had no more irisisisisisisisisisisisis." I launched at her. "Serfs u rite 4 trying to raid us." I kicked her rlly hard in da cheese n my hoof wuz so powerful dat it blew her in2 da next centaury. "Lol, so DATZ how u go in2 da future!" I squeaked enthusiastically.

"Wow Ebony" sed Bleedaloo. "U really r da goffikest hero in al of Accretia."

"Fangz" I sed putting my hoof in my chest n smiling sexily. "Fangs. I rlly am lolz."

Comments

[wubstep pony]

Hey, this isn't dead! Good to see you updated.

[River X]

i46.tinypic.com/25s7l3t.jpg

[BrokenPinkiePromise]

It's nice to see an update.